All language subtitles for Friday.Night.Dinner.S03E01.The.Girlfriend.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.x264-NTb_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:43,367 Someone's in a hurry. 2 00:00:43,447 --> 00:00:45,367 Oh, hi, Jim. What are you... 3 00:00:45,927 --> 00:00:50,207 Oh, yes, no, this is one of Wilson's preferred areas. 4 00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:52,767 -"Preferred areas"? -Yes. 5 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,807 -For? -Oh, uh... 6 00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:58,247 Great. 7 00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,727 Well, see you later then. 8 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,007 -Yeah. Bye. - Come on, lovely. 9 00:01:04,287 --> 00:01:05,567 You've emptied your bottom... 10 00:01:07,607 --> 00:01:08,807 Come on, Wilson. 11 00:01:09,007 --> 00:01:10,601 The body parts were discovered 12 00:01:10,676 --> 00:01:12,567 buried in the basement of Crippen's home, 13 00:01:12,807 --> 00:01:15,967 although the head, limbs and skeleton were never recovered. 14 00:01:16,287 --> 00:01:18,327 Oh, please can you stop watching 15 00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:20,367 your horrible murder programmes? 16 00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:21,647 But it was Crippen. 17 00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:24,407 Never mind Crippen. Can you get the ketchup, please? 18 00:01:24,727 --> 00:01:27,967 - The tomato blood! -And maybe put some clothes on? 19 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:30,607 -Why wasn't I a caveman? -You are a caveman. 20 00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:33,767 And hurry up, they'll be here soon. 21 00:01:33,847 --> 00:01:35,687 - What? - I said... 22 00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:37,527 Just get me the ketchup! 23 00:01:38,967 --> 00:01:40,767 Here's your tomato blood! 24 00:01:40,847 --> 00:01:41,967 -Hi, Dad. 25 00:01:42,047 --> 00:01:43,687 Oh, you bleeding idiot! You... 26 00:01:43,767 --> 00:01:45,087 - Dad! 27 00:01:45,167 --> 00:01:45,967 Shit on it! 28 00:01:46,047 --> 00:01:47,287 - What happened? 29 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,887 -Oh, look at you! -My shitting knuckles! 30 00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:51,567 -You all right? -Sorry, Dad. 31 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,687 -When did you get here? - Hmm? 32 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,127 Inside! 33 00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:58,567 What you doing, creeping up on me like that? 34 00:01:58,647 --> 00:02:00,327 Martin, they'll be here soon! Bloody paralysed hand. 35 00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:04,527 -Dad's made an effort. -What, his special pants? 36 00:02:05,927 --> 00:02:08,127 - Big night tonight. - I know. 37 00:02:08,207 --> 00:02:10,007 Adam and Emma, Emma and Adam! 38 00:02:11,647 --> 00:02:12,927 I wonder what she's like. 39 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,167 -Hideous? 40 00:02:15,607 --> 00:02:17,127 But not as hideous as that. 41 00:02:17,527 --> 00:02:20,607 Thank you, but none of us want to catch a disease tonight. 42 00:02:20,687 --> 00:02:21,807 But it's a waste! 43 00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:24,687 Oh, just try and be normal for Adam's girlfriend. 44 00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:26,607 What? Of course, I'm going to be normal. 45 00:02:28,087 --> 00:02:28,927 Mm. 46 00:02:30,807 --> 00:02:33,367 And you'll be nice, won't you, Jonnyboo? 47 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:34,807 No. 48 00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:36,927 - Hi! 49 00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:38,207 Oh, my God, they're here already. 50 00:02:38,287 --> 00:02:39,687 -They're here? -Wait! 51 00:02:40,287 --> 00:02:42,007 Sorry, Martin, she's not seeing you like that. 52 00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:43,407 -What? -You'll have to go outside. 53 00:02:43,487 --> 00:02:44,527 But... 54 00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,847 -I'll get you in a minute. - But, Jackie... 55 00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:50,247 Coming! 56 00:02:52,127 --> 00:02:52,967 Hello! 57 00:02:53,127 --> 00:02:54,447 -Hi. -Sorry, we're early. 58 00:02:54,527 --> 00:02:55,807 Oh! Don't be silly. 59 00:02:56,207 --> 00:02:58,567 -Erm, Emma, my mum. - Lovely to meet you. 60 00:02:58,647 --> 00:03:00,607 Oh, and I bought you some yellow things. 61 00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:04,887 Oh, they're gorgeous! Thank you. 62 00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:07,607 - My brother, Jonny. -All right, Pusface? 63 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,087 -Very good. -All right, Pissface? 64 00:03:09,167 --> 00:03:12,127 -Oh! 65 00:03:12,207 --> 00:03:15,247 -Oh, I love your hair! -Thanks, I grew it myself. 66 00:03:15,327 --> 00:03:17,487 She grew it herself! 67 00:03:17,727 --> 00:03:18,647 Yes, Mum. 68 00:03:19,127 --> 00:03:20,327 Well, come through. 69 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,887 -Where's Dad? -Er... 70 00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:23,327 He's upstairs, just getting... 71 00:03:25,847 --> 00:03:27,087 Who's that? 72 00:03:28,487 --> 00:03:29,887 - Excuse me. - Dad? 73 00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:31,847 -Martin? -Do you like ketchup? 74 00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:34,407 -What are you... -I trod in some bloody dog shit. 75 00:03:34,487 --> 00:03:35,567 - Lovely! 76 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,607 I'm the father, Martin Goodman. 77 00:03:37,687 --> 00:03:38,807 Hello, Father Goodman. 78 00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:40,287 Sodding thing. 79 00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:41,927 I'm really sorry. 80 00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:43,647 No, it's good so far! 81 00:03:43,727 --> 00:03:45,487 I had to throw me bleeding sock away. 82 00:03:45,567 --> 00:03:47,927 Sorry, but you're not washing your disgusting foot in my sink. 83 00:03:48,007 --> 00:03:50,087 But Jackie, I... Right, then. 84 00:03:50,927 --> 00:03:52,527 No, Martin, we've got a guest! 85 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,767 -Dad! 86 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,767 Ah! 87 00:03:58,807 --> 00:03:59,807 A pleasure to meet you. 88 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,047 Sorry again, Emma. 89 00:04:08,127 --> 00:04:10,527 It's okay, thanks. Now I know where to find the footbath. 90 00:04:12,087 --> 00:04:14,287 Adam told me you had a lovely sense of humour. 91 00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:16,447 -Did I? -What else has he told you? 92 00:04:16,527 --> 00:04:17,527 Likes it from behind. 93 00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:20,367 Um, and you have a sister. 94 00:04:20,447 --> 00:04:21,487 Yeah, I do. 95 00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:23,927 Oh, I would have loved to have had... 96 00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:26,807 ...girls. 97 00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,527 -Evening, everyone. - Hello. 98 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,567 -Father Goodman. -You all right now? 99 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:32,647 What? 100 00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:35,527 Oh, apologies for before. Only, you know... 101 00:04:35,607 --> 00:04:36,887 Dog faeces and... 102 00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:40,087 Um, Emma was just saying she has a sister. 103 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:42,527 -Yeah. -Yes, we wanted girls. 104 00:04:42,767 --> 00:04:43,727 We know. 105 00:04:43,807 --> 00:04:45,047 So how long's it been, then? 106 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,927 -"It"? -Your courtship? 107 00:04:47,007 --> 00:04:47,847 Excellent. 108 00:04:48,127 --> 00:04:51,167 Uh, we have been courting for precisely-- 109 00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:53,607 -Eight weeks? -No, nine weeks! 110 00:04:53,687 --> 00:04:54,927 Oh, yeah. Nine weeks! 111 00:04:55,007 --> 00:04:57,167 Oh, how lovely. 112 00:04:59,327 --> 00:05:00,287 What? 113 00:05:00,847 --> 00:05:01,847 Oh, the hands. 114 00:05:02,007 --> 00:05:03,807 -Yes, they're holding hands. -Great. 115 00:05:04,367 --> 00:05:07,087 Oh, did you see that programme the other night, 116 00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:08,167 the one with the hands? 117 00:05:08,247 --> 00:05:10,567 Um, I might need a few more details. 118 00:05:10,647 --> 00:05:12,327 Yes, could you be more vague? 119 00:05:12,407 --> 00:05:14,727 It was all about murder within the family. 120 00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:16,007 Oh, not this now. 121 00:05:16,087 --> 00:05:19,047 Well, the man who did it had these great big hands. 122 00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:21,327 -Thank you, Martin. 123 00:05:22,007 --> 00:05:23,967 Has anyone in your family been murdered? 124 00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:25,967 Um, no, not yet. 125 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:28,647 Although sometimes I'd quite like to strangle my sister. 126 00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:33,327 Well, the hardest part isn't the actual killing. 127 00:05:33,927 --> 00:05:35,327 It's working out what to do next. 128 00:05:35,407 --> 00:05:37,167 Also available for children's parties. 129 00:05:37,247 --> 00:05:40,967 The best thing would be to put your sister's body in the bath... 130 00:05:41,247 --> 00:05:42,287 -Okay. - Mm. 131 00:05:42,367 --> 00:05:45,247 Then turn on the taps and pour in loads and loads of washing powder. 132 00:05:45,327 --> 00:05:46,607 -Seriously? -Washing powder? 133 00:05:46,727 --> 00:05:49,287 Yes, it acts as an acid, so all the flesh on your sister's body 134 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:51,847 -would be stripped off quite soon. -Dad! 135 00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:54,647 Then all you'd have to do is burn or grind down her bones. 136 00:05:57,327 --> 00:05:58,447 Welcome to the family. 137 00:06:20,527 --> 00:06:21,407 Brilliant. 138 00:06:21,887 --> 00:06:23,687 Brilliant. 139 00:06:24,247 --> 00:06:26,487 Just... No more murder stuff, all right? 140 00:06:26,567 --> 00:06:28,527 -Yes. -Or burning bodies. 141 00:06:28,607 --> 00:06:30,447 What am I meant to talk about? 142 00:06:30,527 --> 00:06:34,207 Anything! Just not murder or burning bodies. 143 00:06:35,247 --> 00:06:37,047 I suppose I could always talk to her about physics. 144 00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:38,887 -Does she like physics? -No one likes physics. 145 00:06:38,967 --> 00:06:41,447 No one likes physics? Are you mad? 146 00:06:41,647 --> 00:06:43,407 What about the principles of magnetism? 147 00:06:43,687 --> 00:06:45,727 -She must like magnets. -Bye-bye. 148 00:06:48,327 --> 00:06:50,407 -Can't we just burn his body? 149 00:06:50,487 --> 00:06:54,567 -Can I be of any hindrance? -Oh, thanks, sweetie! Um... 150 00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:58,367 -If you could maybe take this in. -Okay, thanks. 151 00:06:58,447 --> 00:07:00,527 -Oh, have you got a straw? 152 00:07:00,607 --> 00:07:02,927 -Save some for me! 153 00:07:03,887 --> 00:07:05,407 -Adam... -What? 154 00:07:06,007 --> 00:07:08,207 -Oh, Mum! 155 00:07:08,807 --> 00:07:11,127 -She is a lovely girl! -Lovely girl. 156 00:07:12,487 --> 00:07:14,527 -Get off! -Go inside. 157 00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:16,527 Mum, do you think Adam will marry that girl? 158 00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:19,727 Ignore him, Bobble. 159 00:07:20,127 --> 00:07:21,327 Thanks, Mum. 160 00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:23,687 Do you think you'll marry that girl? 161 00:07:31,887 --> 00:07:33,527 Dad just ate ketchup straight from the bowl. 162 00:07:33,607 --> 00:07:35,127 -He did. -Starters. 163 00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:37,127 -Have I got any on my face? -Only in your ear. 164 00:07:38,447 --> 00:07:40,247 And here's the chicken. 165 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:43,327 -Oh, lovely, Jackie. -Yeah, lovely bit of squirrel! 166 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,127 Ooh! 167 00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:48,247 Emma, you'll have to have a tour of the house later. 168 00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:49,407 Okay, cool. 169 00:07:49,487 --> 00:07:50,727 Maybe Adam can show you his old room. 170 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,287 I'm definitely not showing you my old room. 171 00:07:52,407 --> 00:07:53,727 -Why not? Because I'm not 12 anymore. 172 00:07:55,207 --> 00:07:56,920 Oh, yeah, I always forget he's been through puberty. 173 00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:59,287 So, what are you hiding up there, then? 174 00:07:59,447 --> 00:08:01,567 Just dead bodies! 175 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:03,007 Sorry. 176 00:08:04,647 --> 00:08:06,567 -Ooh, that's the other woman! -Ha-ha. 177 00:08:06,647 --> 00:08:07,847 It's all right, I know about her. 178 00:08:08,047 --> 00:08:09,967 Oh, take whatever you want, love. 179 00:08:10,047 --> 00:08:11,207 Thank you. 180 00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:13,007 -You all right? -Um... 181 00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:14,607 -You okay? -What? 182 00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:17,887 -Yeah, fine. Just... work. 183 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:20,647 Erm... Sorry, just one moment. 184 00:08:22,807 --> 00:08:23,687 Jonny... 185 00:08:24,047 --> 00:08:25,447 Yeah, one moment. 186 00:08:26,087 --> 00:08:27,167 Boys? 187 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:29,447 -So, Emma... -Yes? 188 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,287 Do you like magnets? 189 00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:34,207 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 190 00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:35,967 -What? -This is not happening. 191 00:08:36,047 --> 00:08:37,087 What is not happening? 192 00:08:37,287 --> 00:08:39,167 Okay... Oh, my God. 193 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:40,967 You mustn't tell anyone. Your penis needs to be removed? 194 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:43,967 Seriously, you must not tell Emma. 195 00:08:44,207 --> 00:08:45,487 Her penis needs to be removed? 196 00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:46,927 All right. 197 00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:48,727 I've just been sent this. 198 00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:51,407 Whoa! 199 00:08:51,647 --> 00:08:54,447 "Hi, Hotness. Kiss, kiss, kiss." Who is she? 200 00:08:55,647 --> 00:08:56,607 Emma's sister. 201 00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:58,647 -Her sister? -Shh, shh! 202 00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:01,487 What, so, have you been... 203 00:09:01,687 --> 00:09:03,647 No, of course I haven't been... 204 00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:05,727 So, she just randomly sent you that? 205 00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:07,687 Yeah, I mean, she texted me once before and she was, 206 00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:09,167 you know, friendly but-- 207 00:09:09,247 --> 00:09:10,407 Not quite as friendly as that. 208 00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:11,407 Oh, God. 209 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,407 -It's probably a mistake. -Yeah. 210 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,247 I mean, who would want to show you their body? -Exactly. 211 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,327 "Hi, Adam. It's Emma's sister. Like what you see?" 212 00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:24,167 That's probably not a mistake. 213 00:09:24,447 --> 00:09:26,567 Why would she do that? Why would she-- 214 00:09:26,647 --> 00:09:27,727 Everything all right? 215 00:09:27,807 --> 00:09:29,367 -Yeah! Cool. -Cool. 216 00:09:29,447 --> 00:09:30,847 What you looking at? Porn? 217 00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:31,927 -Porn! 218 00:09:32,007 --> 00:09:33,647 What? No, just some... 219 00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:34,847 -Football. -Football. 220 00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:36,167 You hate football. 221 00:09:36,247 --> 00:09:37,487 Yeah, that's why we're looking at it. 222 00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:38,847 -It was hateful. -Mm! 223 00:09:39,527 --> 00:09:41,247 Definitely not being strange. 224 00:09:43,327 --> 00:09:45,167 -What am I gonna do? -I don't know, but... 225 00:09:45,407 --> 00:09:46,407 But what? 226 00:09:47,047 --> 00:09:48,487 Can you send me that? 227 00:09:50,247 --> 00:09:52,407 - It's really delicious. - Thanks, love. 228 00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:54,647 -Are you okay? -Hmm? 229 00:09:54,847 --> 00:09:57,007 -You're not eating anything. -Yeah, Adam. 230 00:09:57,967 --> 00:09:59,527 Sorry. It's lovely, Mum. 231 00:10:01,047 --> 00:10:03,167 So, Emma, Adam was telling me all about your sister. 232 00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:04,967 Excuse me. 233 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:06,607 He said she's really nice. 234 00:10:06,687 --> 00:10:08,567 Yeah, she is, but we're quite different. 235 00:10:08,887 --> 00:10:10,087 -Are you? - Mm. 236 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:11,807 -She's very shy. -Shy. 237 00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,367 Sorry. 238 00:10:13,527 --> 00:10:14,727 -Another one! 239 00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:17,207 -You're popular tonight, Adam. - Yeah, isn't he? 240 00:10:17,287 --> 00:10:18,367 Isn't he? 241 00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:20,647 Um, just work. 242 00:10:21,447 --> 00:10:22,807 -I'll get it. 243 00:10:23,287 --> 00:10:25,607 Stay there. I'll go. 244 00:10:29,927 --> 00:10:32,327 -Seriously, is everything all right? -Yeah, babe. 245 00:10:32,887 --> 00:10:34,607 I was saying before to your female... 246 00:10:34,807 --> 00:10:36,327 -Dad! -"Your female". 247 00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:38,887 ...that the Indians are currently building 248 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,567 the world's most powerful magnet. 249 00:10:40,647 --> 00:10:42,807 -That is what he was saying. -What are they building it for? 250 00:10:43,287 --> 00:10:45,207 To attract metal, you imbecile. 251 00:10:46,407 --> 00:10:47,567 Okay. 252 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,847 Actually, I've a couple of pretty big magnets up in the loft. 253 00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:52,607 I can show you them later. 254 00:10:52,807 --> 00:10:54,967 -Um... -You definitely won't be murdered. 255 00:10:56,927 --> 00:11:01,807 Everyone, we have a special guest for dinner. 256 00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:05,007 -This is Katie. -Hello, Katie. 257 00:11:05,687 --> 00:11:09,487 Katie's here because her mummy, Susan, from round the corner, 258 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:14,287 had to go and see Katie's grandma in hospital all of a sudden. 259 00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:15,527 So, we're... 260 00:11:16,687 --> 00:11:19,007 all looking after her tonight. 261 00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:20,207 -Really? -Shh! 262 00:11:20,287 --> 00:11:21,087 Evening ruined. 263 00:11:21,687 --> 00:11:23,887 You remember Adam, don't you? 264 00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:26,687 He used to baby-sit for you when you were little. 265 00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:28,887 -Hi, Katie. -Hello, Adam. 266 00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:31,247 - Fancies you. 267 00:11:32,407 --> 00:11:33,447 Come sit down. 268 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,007 Well, say hello. 269 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,647 Oh, yes, good evening. Martin Goodman. 270 00:11:38,727 --> 00:11:42,287 Martin, she's an eight-year-old girl, not a 55-year-old businessman. 271 00:11:42,367 --> 00:11:44,407 Actually, I'm nine in June. 272 00:11:44,487 --> 00:11:46,047 -Oh! 273 00:11:46,727 --> 00:11:49,287 -And another one! -Sorry. 274 00:11:50,847 --> 00:11:52,327 -You all right? -What? 275 00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:55,407 Oh, just more work. 276 00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:59,127 -Can I play with your phone? -Um, not now. 277 00:11:59,247 --> 00:12:01,207 But you used to let me play games on your phone. 278 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,287 Go on, Adam, let Katie play games on your phone. 279 00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:05,127 -Thank you. -Not fair! 280 00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,407 Not fair! 281 00:12:06,487 --> 00:12:09,367 Right, what would you like to eat? 282 00:12:10,807 --> 00:12:11,647 Who's she? 283 00:12:12,447 --> 00:12:14,607 -Me? -That's Adam's female. 284 00:12:14,687 --> 00:12:16,407 Yes, I'm Adam's "female". 285 00:12:16,487 --> 00:12:18,847 -Um, she's my girlfriend. -I'm Emma. 286 00:12:19,047 --> 00:12:20,127 But she's ugly. 287 00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:21,967 -Thank you. 288 00:12:22,047 --> 00:12:23,287 Katie! 289 00:12:23,447 --> 00:12:25,167 -"She's ugly"! -Martin! 290 00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:27,047 Well, I like ugly girls. 291 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:31,647 -Sorry. I mean... - Well done. 292 00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:34,927 Sorry about this, love. You were saying about your sister? 293 00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:37,687 -Who's very shy. -Well, yeah, she's-- 294 00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:40,287 -Can I be your girlfriend? -Oo-er! 295 00:12:40,487 --> 00:12:42,487 Um... Why don't you eat your potatoes? -I don't like them. -Why not? 296 00:12:44,687 --> 00:12:47,647 -I don't like the bones. -There's no bones in potatoes. 297 00:12:48,047 --> 00:12:50,555 -You're stupid. 298 00:12:50,635 --> 00:12:53,795 -Yes, he is stupid, isn't he? - You're funny! 299 00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:56,235 -Thank you. -And handsome. 300 00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:58,595 -Ooh, careful! -Yeah, careful! 301 00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:03,715 -Where are you going? -Come and sit down now. 302 00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:07,395 Um... Hello. 303 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,435 Can I put some make-up on you? 304 00:13:10,715 --> 00:13:12,515 -Nah. -Can I hold your hand? 305 00:13:12,595 --> 00:13:13,715 Oo-er, again! 306 00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:17,075 -Mum? -Sit down now, Katie. 307 00:13:17,155 --> 00:13:18,315 Yeah, go on, Katie. 308 00:13:18,995 --> 00:13:21,235 -Okay. -Give it back! 309 00:13:21,315 --> 00:13:22,915 -Bad luck, Adam. 310 00:13:22,995 --> 00:13:24,995 - Adam! - Give me back my bloody phone! 311 00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:26,235 -Um, Adam? - Adam! Give it back! 312 00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:28,595 Katie, you little... 313 00:13:28,915 --> 00:13:30,275 -Give it back! - No! 314 00:13:31,755 --> 00:13:32,795 Open up! 315 00:13:32,915 --> 00:13:34,475 Go away. I'm doing a wee-wee. 316 00:13:34,675 --> 00:13:36,195 What is the matter with you? 317 00:13:36,555 --> 00:13:38,715 -It's my phone. -So? What's she gonna do to it? 318 00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:40,675 -Eat it? -No, she doesn't like the bones. 319 00:13:40,755 --> 00:13:42,555 -Are you all right? -You're a lunatic! 320 00:13:42,635 --> 00:13:43,635 I'm fine. 321 00:13:45,035 --> 00:13:46,475 Give it bloody back! 322 00:13:48,515 --> 00:13:50,635 -Here's your phone. -Good girl. 323 00:13:50,715 --> 00:13:53,235 Now, come and sit down, darling. 324 00:14:03,995 --> 00:14:05,115 She knows. 325 00:14:05,955 --> 00:14:07,195 She knows! 326 00:14:12,795 --> 00:14:13,955 All right, Pusface? 327 00:14:14,035 --> 00:14:15,435 -God! -What are you gonna do? 328 00:14:15,515 --> 00:14:18,035 I don't know, but her sister's just got rid of the bikini. 329 00:14:18,995 --> 00:14:19,915 Blimey! 330 00:14:20,195 --> 00:14:21,235 She's obsessed. 331 00:14:21,435 --> 00:14:22,835 Well, you are gorgeous. 332 00:14:22,915 --> 00:14:24,635 -Oh, Jonny! 333 00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:26,635 I'll have to tell Emma. 334 00:14:26,715 --> 00:14:28,755 Oh, good idea. Tell your girlfriend. 335 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,195 "I've got naked photos of your sister, please dump me." 336 00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:32,395 Oh, shit. 337 00:14:32,755 --> 00:14:33,795 All right, bambinos? 338 00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:36,715 - Hello. -That Emma's a smashing female. 339 00:14:36,795 --> 00:14:38,875 -"Female". -And a nice-sized chest. 340 00:14:38,995 --> 00:14:39,795 Dad! 341 00:14:39,955 --> 00:14:43,035 Um, did you know that upstairs there are 26 doorknobs? 342 00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:45,675 -What? -Katie just made us count them all. 343 00:14:45,955 --> 00:14:46,835 Twice. Um, where is Katie? 344 00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:51,035 Er, living room... Twenty-six! 345 00:14:51,635 --> 00:14:52,755 Excuse me one sec. 346 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:54,755 Now, that's funny. 347 00:14:55,035 --> 00:14:56,995 I'd always counted 28. 348 00:14:58,995 --> 00:15:01,035 -Right, Katie. -Hi, Adam! I don't know what you saw, but you better not tell Emma. 349 00:15:03,715 --> 00:15:05,555 -What do you mean? -What you saw on my phone. 350 00:15:05,915 --> 00:15:07,555 I didn't see anything on your phone. 351 00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,635 Really? You didn't... 352 00:15:10,115 --> 00:15:11,475 -You didn't see the... -What? 353 00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:14,675 Nothing. Um... 354 00:15:15,355 --> 00:15:16,835 Okay, great. Ignore me. 355 00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:18,355 Thanks. Thank you. 356 00:15:18,635 --> 00:15:20,595 Oh... 357 00:15:21,075 --> 00:15:22,955 Do you mean the girl in the bikini? 358 00:15:23,635 --> 00:15:25,995 -What? -The photos of Emma's sister? 359 00:15:27,035 --> 00:15:28,635 Oh, God. Um... 360 00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:32,155 -Please don't say anything. -Okay. 361 00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:34,355 -You promise? -I promise. 362 00:15:34,995 --> 00:15:36,715 Oh... Thanks, Katie. 363 00:15:36,795 --> 00:15:38,115 Phew! 364 00:15:38,195 --> 00:15:39,915 Can we play now? 365 00:15:39,995 --> 00:15:42,435 Um, later, later. 366 00:15:42,515 --> 00:15:44,075 But I want to play now. 367 00:15:44,755 --> 00:15:46,235 Sorry, Katie, I can't now. 368 00:15:46,515 --> 00:15:48,635 Then I'll tell your girlfriend about the photos. 369 00:15:49,995 --> 00:15:50,955 But... 370 00:15:52,755 --> 00:15:54,555 You just promised you wouldn't! 371 00:15:54,715 --> 00:15:56,355 -Emma! -Okay, okay. I'll do it. 372 00:15:56,435 --> 00:15:57,555 Whatever you want! 373 00:16:02,155 --> 00:16:04,235 -There. -Thank you. 374 00:16:04,355 --> 00:16:05,715 Doesn't he look pretty? 375 00:16:05,795 --> 00:16:06,875 Yeah. 376 00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:09,075 Beautiful! 377 00:16:09,155 --> 00:16:11,555 -Get off! -See you later, hotness. 378 00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:14,755 He does look beautiful, doesn't he? 379 00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:18,315 Yeah, Katie, he looks really nice. 380 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,595 Well done. 381 00:16:19,675 --> 00:16:22,515 Adam, I'm gonna see if your mum needs any help. 382 00:16:22,835 --> 00:16:24,555 Yeah, um... Thanks, Katie. 383 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:27,035 That was really fun. 384 00:16:30,075 --> 00:16:32,115 It's a bit much, isn't it? 385 00:16:32,515 --> 00:16:34,755 -Is it? -You look like a prostitute. 386 00:16:34,835 --> 00:16:36,395 A good-looking prostitute or a bad-looking-- 387 00:16:36,475 --> 00:16:38,835 - Shall we... -Adam? 388 00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:41,635 Sorry, Katie, we're going to see his mummy now. 389 00:16:41,715 --> 00:16:43,475 -Yeah. - I'll tell. 390 00:16:44,035 --> 00:16:45,555 - Shall we? -Um... 391 00:16:46,195 --> 00:16:48,075 You go through, Emma, I won't be a sec. 392 00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:50,115 Really? 393 00:16:52,515 --> 00:16:54,835 -What? -I want to play some more. 394 00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,595 And then I went to university. 395 00:17:00,675 --> 00:17:02,795 -Um, Manchester. 396 00:17:03,115 --> 00:17:05,675 -Oh, Manchester. 397 00:17:05,755 --> 00:17:08,475 -What is he doing in there? -Adam! 398 00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:10,355 They have been in there for quite some time. 399 00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:12,315 -Haven't they? - Good doggy! 400 00:17:12,395 --> 00:17:14,395 -Hold on a second, love. 401 00:17:14,995 --> 00:17:17,235 -So, shall I get the magnets? 402 00:17:19,115 --> 00:17:22,195 -Come on, doggy, walkies! 403 00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:25,155 -Er, Adam? -Hi, Mum. 404 00:17:25,235 --> 00:17:28,115 -Keep going. 405 00:17:28,195 --> 00:17:29,195 What are you doing? 406 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,515 Yeah, it's a little bit complicated. 407 00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:34,155 Your girlfriend's been sitting in there for ages. 408 00:17:34,235 --> 00:17:35,715 I'm his girlfriend. 409 00:17:36,075 --> 00:17:37,715 Hi, is everything... 410 00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:39,355 Oh, hi, Emma. 411 00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:43,635 He just really likes kids. 412 00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:45,595 -Right. 413 00:17:46,755 --> 00:17:48,475 -Oh, my God! -Jonny! 414 00:17:48,555 --> 00:17:49,915 -Facebook! 415 00:17:51,715 --> 00:17:53,155 -Okay. -Emma! 416 00:17:53,595 --> 00:17:54,475 Get off! 417 00:17:55,635 --> 00:17:58,115 Can I just say, you're behaving really weirdly. 418 00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:00,635 -Am I? -Adam, she's eight years old. 419 00:18:00,715 --> 00:18:02,795 -I'm nine in June. -She's nine in June. 420 00:18:05,315 --> 00:18:07,235 -It's my sister. -Your sister? 421 00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:09,115 -Hi, Helen. 422 00:18:11,435 --> 00:18:13,435 Okay, Katie, we've played enough now. 423 00:18:13,515 --> 00:18:15,595 But I want to be your girlfriend. 424 00:18:15,915 --> 00:18:18,315 Well, maybe in a few years. 425 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,875 -Can I hold your hand? - What? 426 00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:23,435 -Just for a little bit. -Really? 427 00:18:23,715 --> 00:18:25,955 -And you won't tell Emma anything? -No. 428 00:18:26,035 --> 00:18:27,195 -Promise? -Promise. 429 00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:29,275 -Promise, promise? -Promise, promise. 430 00:18:31,035 --> 00:18:32,595 -But don't let go. -Why? 431 00:18:32,675 --> 00:18:36,195 If you let go of my hand, I'll tell her what I saw on your phone. 432 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:37,115 But... 433 00:18:37,795 --> 00:18:39,715 -Everything okay? -Yeah, can I have a word? 434 00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:40,635 Sure. 435 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:44,595 Hey. 436 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:47,315 Okay, I know you like kids, 437 00:18:47,915 --> 00:18:50,155 -but this is ridiculous. -Ridiculous? 438 00:18:50,235 --> 00:18:52,275 For Chrissakes, Adam, I'm your girlfriend, 439 00:18:52,355 --> 00:18:54,904 -come and talk to me! -Yeah, sure, sure. 440 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,480 Absolutely, absolutely. 441 00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:03,515 -Right. -Emma! 442 00:19:03,955 --> 00:19:06,395 -Where are you going? -Yes, where are you going? 443 00:19:06,475 --> 00:19:08,595 I'm going to the toilet. Is that allowed? 444 00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:14,075 I did it again. 445 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:19,075 Yes, all good, love. 446 00:19:19,515 --> 00:19:22,475 She's been really fun. 447 00:19:22,555 --> 00:19:24,635 Yes! Three kittens! 448 00:19:24,795 --> 00:19:25,795 Bye. 449 00:19:27,955 --> 00:19:29,595 Katie, sweetheart, 450 00:19:29,675 --> 00:19:32,035 why don't you sit over here with me for a bit? 451 00:19:32,315 --> 00:19:35,155 No, we like it here, don't we? 452 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,075 -Er... 453 00:19:37,155 --> 00:19:39,875 I'll go. You two have fun! 454 00:19:44,635 --> 00:19:46,235 -Oh, hi, Jim. -Hello, Jack... 455 00:19:47,035 --> 00:19:48,195 -Adam... -Jonny. 456 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:52,635 Oh, yes, no, I just wanted to apologise to your family 457 00:19:52,715 --> 00:19:53,795 for all the... 458 00:19:55,315 --> 00:19:58,035 That Wilson's been doing round here. 459 00:19:58,115 --> 00:19:59,835 Um... Okay, I'll tell them. 460 00:19:59,915 --> 00:20:01,275 Is your mother in? 461 00:20:02,315 --> 00:20:03,275 She's a bit tied up. 462 00:20:04,075 --> 00:20:04,955 Tied up? 463 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:06,715 What? No, she's busy. 464 00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:10,035 -Adam's girlfriend's here. -Ah, young love... 465 00:20:10,115 --> 00:20:11,795 Yeah. So... 466 00:20:13,435 --> 00:20:16,835 Actually, Jim, talking of young love, 467 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:19,355 you ought to know that Adam's girlfriend 468 00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:22,075 is quite a bit younger than him. 469 00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:23,835 I see. 470 00:20:23,995 --> 00:20:27,435 -Yes, in our culture-- -The Jewish culture? 471 00:20:27,515 --> 00:20:29,915 That's right, it's kind of allowed. 472 00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:32,475 Well, there's nothing wrong with an age difference. 473 00:20:32,555 --> 00:20:36,835 I once went out with a lady who was 35 years older than me. 474 00:20:37,155 --> 00:20:38,035 Did you? 475 00:20:38,835 --> 00:20:40,355 Oh... No. 476 00:20:40,435 --> 00:20:42,915 I'm getting confused with my mother. 477 00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:44,555 Would you like to meet her? 478 00:20:44,675 --> 00:20:46,595 Oh, yes, we would, wouldn't... 479 00:20:47,835 --> 00:20:50,315 Katie, do you want to come and see a real doggy? 480 00:20:50,555 --> 00:20:51,755 How exciting! 481 00:20:53,995 --> 00:20:55,315 Ooh, a doggy! 482 00:20:55,395 --> 00:20:58,275 There they are. Adam and Katie. 483 00:20:58,475 --> 00:20:59,315 Hi, Jim. 484 00:21:00,995 --> 00:21:02,435 Um, hell... Hello. 485 00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:04,675 Hello, doggy! What's your name? 486 00:21:05,915 --> 00:21:07,955 -Wilson. - Good doggy. 487 00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:10,235 You've painted your nails. 488 00:21:10,795 --> 00:21:13,035 When you marry me, can we get a doggy? 489 00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:14,355 Um... 490 00:21:14,435 --> 00:21:16,875 Listen, Adam, I think it's probably best if I go. 491 00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:20,315 I'm very happy for you both. You make a lovely couple. 492 00:21:20,475 --> 00:21:22,355 -Shalom. -Shalom. 493 00:21:24,115 --> 00:21:26,155 -Okay, I'm gonna head off. -What? 494 00:21:26,755 --> 00:21:28,035 Why are you going? 495 00:21:28,115 --> 00:21:30,035 Because every time I try and talk to you, 496 00:21:30,115 --> 00:21:31,875 you're holding a little girl's bloody hand. 497 00:21:31,955 --> 00:21:32,995 Rude word. 498 00:21:33,075 --> 00:21:35,075 Emma, I told you, it's only a bit of fun. 499 00:21:35,155 --> 00:21:37,755 Fun? How is this fucking fun? 500 00:21:37,835 --> 00:21:39,915 -Ruder word! 501 00:21:40,155 --> 00:21:41,275 What's going on? 502 00:21:41,355 --> 00:21:42,995 Sorry, Jackie, but I've got to go. 503 00:21:43,075 --> 00:21:44,155 What? Where are you going? 504 00:21:44,235 --> 00:21:46,555 But... Emma! Oh... 505 00:21:47,235 --> 00:21:49,195 -You let go! -Oh, piss off! 506 00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:51,795 -Adam! -Another rude word. 507 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:53,835 Emma, please. I'm sorry, okay? -You're sorry? -Yeah, it's really complicated. I... 508 00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:58,915 -Oh, shit! 509 00:21:58,995 --> 00:22:00,715 - Oh, bloody hell! -Are you all right, Bobble? 510 00:22:00,795 --> 00:22:01,915 Excuse me... 511 00:22:01,995 --> 00:22:04,235 -Oh, my God, are you okay? 512 00:22:04,315 --> 00:22:06,035 - Adam? -Oh, my head! 513 00:22:06,115 --> 00:22:07,155 Pusface? 514 00:22:07,235 --> 00:22:09,155 Martin, get a cloth. Jonny, a plaster. 515 00:22:09,235 --> 00:22:10,155 Okay, Mum. 516 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:13,155 -Katie, go inside. -Adam, are you okay? 517 00:22:13,275 --> 00:22:14,275 I think I need my puffer. 518 00:22:14,355 --> 00:22:15,595 -My puffer! -Your what? 519 00:22:15,675 --> 00:22:16,995 His asthma thing. There's one upstairs. 520 00:22:17,075 --> 00:22:18,555 Okay. Where is it? 521 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:20,475 On his desk, his old bedroom. 522 00:22:20,835 --> 00:22:23,275 -First room on the right! -What's that? 523 00:22:23,595 --> 00:22:25,875 His puffer, Emma's getting it from his room. 524 00:22:25,955 --> 00:22:27,075 Is she? 525 00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:30,555 -Does this help? -No! 526 00:22:41,155 --> 00:22:42,155 Um... 527 00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:45,595 I'm just getting his, um... 528 00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:50,475 He just really likes tits. 529 00:22:54,355 --> 00:22:55,635 -Here. -Thanks. 530 00:23:00,235 --> 00:23:00,995 What? 531 00:23:01,155 --> 00:23:03,115 -Your bedroom... -What? 532 00:23:06,555 --> 00:23:08,595 -Emma! -What are all these texts? 533 00:23:10,315 --> 00:23:12,595 I can't explain. 534 00:23:12,955 --> 00:23:14,515 What is going on? 535 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,315 -Goodbye, Adam. -Emma! 536 00:23:17,595 --> 00:23:18,955 Don't! Don't... 537 00:23:20,995 --> 00:23:21,995 go. 538 00:23:24,355 --> 00:23:27,955 So, can I be your girlfriend now? 36620

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.