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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:05,067
[mid-tempo electronic
music with vocalization]
2
00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,433
All right?
3
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:42,367
Yeah.
4
00:00:42,367 --> 00:00:43,433
Take this, Pusface.
5
00:00:43,433 --> 00:00:45,167
Yes, Lord Pissface.
6
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,167
-Just drag it along here.
-Oi!
7
00:00:49,167 --> 00:00:49,967
Ow.
8
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:52,233
Hi.
9
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,500
God, worst job ever.
10
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,900
Won't be that bad.
11
00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:57,967
How is clearing out the loft
12
00:00:57,967 --> 00:00:59,433
with Dad not that bad?
13
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,467
You're right, it
will be that bad.
14
00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:03,067
Hello?
15
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:05,067
[Jackie] I'm
upstairs, one minute.
16
00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:07,200
You know I'd love to help, but.
17
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,067
Yeah.
18
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:12,600
Adam?
19
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,433
What?
20
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:14,467
Can you uh?
21
00:01:14,467 --> 00:01:15,633
Agh!
22
00:01:15,633 --> 00:01:17,100
I got you.
23
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,067
You bastard.
24
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:18,900
How?
25
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,167
You didn't really think
26
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:20,800
I'd dislocated my
shoulder, did you?
27
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,633
What?
28
00:01:21,633 --> 00:01:22,567
Well why did?
29
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:23,800
There's no way they'll let me
30
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,933
do the loft with this
thing on, will they?
31
00:01:24,933 --> 00:01:26,133
Right, very good.
32
00:01:26,133 --> 00:01:27,067
Very clever.
33
00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:28,267
[Jackie] Coming.
34
00:01:28,267 --> 00:01:30,267
Okay, and putting
it back on and--
35
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,167
Well obviously
I'll just tell Mum.
36
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:34,567
Fine and I'll just tell
her all the grotty details
37
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,533
about what you got up
to with Hayley Posner.
38
00:01:36,533 --> 00:01:37,433
Hayley?
39
00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:38,667
You bloody dare.
40
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:39,567
Hi, what are-
41
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:41,800
Oh my god.
42
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,600
What happened?
43
00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:48,733
Jonny dislocated his shoulder.
44
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:49,567
[mid-tempo music]
45
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:50,700
You should have told me.
46
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,667
Oh, it was just a little fall.
47
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:53,933
I didn't want to worry you.
48
00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:55,800
Ah, you are too
thoughtful, Jonny.
49
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:56,900
Mwah.
50
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:57,900
Isn't he.
51
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,367
[coughs] Hayley Posner.
52
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:00,267
Where's your stupid dad?
53
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:01,467
Martin!
54
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:03,800
Probably still in
that rancid old loft.
55
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,800
I'm really sorry Adam,
but I think you might
56
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,067
have to do it
without me tonight.
57
00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:09,067
Well course he's doing
it without you tonight.
58
00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:09,933
Of course.
59
00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:11,567
Oh, all right my darling,
60
00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:14,133
I'll get you a nice cup of tea.
61
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,733
I want to speak to you.
62
00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:16,733
Hi Dad.
63
00:02:16,733 --> 00:02:18,067
Hello bambinos.
64
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:19,500
There you are.
65
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,133
Mm, I thought you weren't
talking to me at the moment.
66
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,067
I'm not.
67
00:02:22,067 --> 00:02:23,467
Have you seen your youngest son?
68
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,067
Oh, Jonny.
69
00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,333
I know, Dad.
70
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,067
Why are you wearing
your bleeding suit?
71
00:02:29,067 --> 00:02:30,300
What?
72
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,100
You'll ruin it up
there, you moron.
73
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:32,300
Amazing.
74
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:33,600
Martin, Jonny's
not going anywhere.
75
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,967
Can't you see he's injured?
76
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,200
Oh, I thought it was a scarf.
77
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,067
A scarf?
78
00:02:39,067 --> 00:02:39,867
A scarf?
79
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:40,833
You know, fashion.
80
00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:43,267
[phone ringing]
81
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:44,400
Oh, it's Val.
82
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,167
Hi, love.
83
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,333
So it's just you and me then.
84
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,933
Yeah, just you and Pusface.
85
00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,433
It's quite nasty up in the loft.
86
00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:51,567
Oh dear, is it?
87
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:52,533
Horrible.
88
00:02:52,533 --> 00:02:54,533
What's that on your chest?
89
00:02:54,533 --> 00:02:55,367
Pigeon shit.
90
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,200
A bird got in.
91
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,167
Great.
92
00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:58,400
Aah.
93
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,233
Um, Dad, can you
excuse us just one sec.
94
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,067
Right.
95
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:03,300
What, get off.
96
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,067
-What you doing, you div?
-Get in.
97
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:05,867
What?
98
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:08,400
Okay, you are not to say
99
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,867
a bloody word about
Hayley Posner.
100
00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:11,800
So long as you don't say a
bloody word about my shoulder.
101
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,933
Jonny, Hayley Posner
is Aunty Val's niece.
102
00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:15,533
Who you took on a date, shagged,
103
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,733
and then never called back,
104
00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:18,733
just because you thought
she smelt like mum.
105
00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:20,900
Number one, I never
shagged Hayley Posner.
106
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,067
Number two, she
did smell like Mum.
107
00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:25,067
Whatever.
108
00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:25,933
It wasn't even her perfume.
109
00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:26,900
It was her natural smell.
110
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:27,833
I really don't want to know.
111
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,067
It was like being in bed with--
112
00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:29,900
Mum?
113
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,400
Urgh.
114
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,133
What are you two berks
doing, playing in the toilet?
115
00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,400
Adam was trying
to kiss me again.
116
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:36,633
Pair of prannies.
117
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,833
Now listen, er, I might
as well let you know
118
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,067
but your mother and haven't
119
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:42,800
been getting on
very well recently.
120
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,267
Great, that's not depressing.
121
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,133
We had a row.
122
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:45,967
About what?
123
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:48,067
Personal stuff.
124
00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:49,100
What sort of personal stuff?
125
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,067
Sexual stuff.
126
00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,400
-Oh Dad.
-Dad.
127
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,067
We didn't want you to
actually answer that question.
128
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:53,900
God.
129
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,200
Sorry.
130
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,733
No, your mother's really
not happy at the moment.
131
00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:58,067
Right.
132
00:03:58,067 --> 00:03:59,200
Last night she threw
some plums at me.
133
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,100
Plums?
134
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,600
Yes, plums.
135
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:02,467
And a lemon.
136
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,700
Sexual stuff, so?
137
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,467
They never have sex?
138
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:10,800
They always have sex?
139
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,400
They have sex in cupboards?
140
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,900
In skips?
141
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,400
With tramps?
142
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:20,133
Yeah, I know Val, but it's
like he's obsessed with her.
143
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:22,933
How can I compete
with that woman?
144
00:04:24,433 --> 00:04:25,600
What's Dad been doing?
145
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,133
Uh, who's Dad been doing?
146
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,067
I don't think I wanna know.
147
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,567
I know I don't wanna know.
148
00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:30,400
Let's not know.
149
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,267
Let's not know.
150
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:33,433
[mid-tempo music]
151
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,833
Good boy, drink your tea.
152
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,833
Your biscuit, Sir Piss.
153
00:04:38,833 --> 00:04:40,700
Ah, here, darling.
154
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:41,533
Thanks, Mum.
155
00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:46,867
[sniffs] Oh, you smell
nice tonight, Mum.
156
00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:47,800
Do I?
157
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,300
Yeah, you smell really lovely.
158
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:52,133
Oh, thank you, darling,
what a nice thing to say.
159
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:53,133
Mwah.
160
00:04:53,133 --> 00:04:53,967
Adam, smell Mum.
161
00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:55,700
Oh, don't be silly.
162
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:56,800
Go on, smell her.
163
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,633
I'm okay, thanks.
164
00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:58,500
How's the shoulder?
165
00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,633
Fine.
166
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,600
Fine, as in it's
perfectly all right, or?
167
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,900
Oh, by the way,
Val's coming tonight.
168
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:04,767
Really?
169
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:06,067
Aunty Val?
170
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:09,100
Yeah. I really needed
a friend here tonight.
171
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,400
Oh, okay.
172
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,067
Well, it'll be lovely to
see her, won't it, Adam?
173
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:15,767
Oh, she'll want
to know all about
174
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:17,267
how you got on with Hayley.
175
00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:18,300
Really?
176
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,533
Hayley?
177
00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:21,800
Wait, isn't that
Aunty Val's niece?
178
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,633
That's right.
179
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:23,867
Jonny.
180
00:05:23,867 --> 00:05:25,167
You were nice to her,
weren't you, Bobble?
181
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:27,067
Of course I was nice to her.
182
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,233
Get us some more
biscuits, would you?
183
00:05:28,233 --> 00:05:29,133
Er, shit off.
184
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:30,233
Adam.
185
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,400
Adam, loft.
186
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:32,567
Lovely to see you too.
187
00:05:32,567 --> 00:05:33,667
Martin, we're
having dinner soon.
188
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,833
Go away.
189
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,100
So does this mean you're
talking to me now?
190
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,333
And can you please
not come near us
191
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:39,400
with your filthy chest hair.
192
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,633
Agh, it's fine.
193
00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:41,933
Martin, there are
things living in it.
194
00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:43,200
Just go and have a wash.
195
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,633
But I had a wash yesterday.
196
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:51,500
Your father, he's
really upset me.
197
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:52,433
Has he?
198
00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:54,067
Oh dear.
199
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,133
You know, sometimes
he just needs
200
00:05:57,133 --> 00:06:00,567
to remember that I'm a woman.
201
00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,667
Okay, more biscuits?
202
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:02,500
Thanks.
203
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:03,667
Sure.
204
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,900
[mumbling]
205
00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:12,300
Er, should you be
doing that there?
206
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:13,400
What?
207
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,500
That, over the potatoes.
208
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,333
It's fine.
209
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,467
It's medieval.
210
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,200
You're worse than your mother.
211
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,200
[Jackie] Adam, put the
crumble in the oven, will you?
212
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,067
Okay.
213
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:26,267
God.
214
00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:28,600
Bloody hot tap.
215
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,233
Done it.
216
00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,500
Ow!
217
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,700
Burnt my shitting nipple!
218
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,533
[mid-tempo music]
219
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,700
[Adam] You definitely
didn't mention this.
220
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,633
Didn't I?
221
00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:43,300
You definitely didn't.
222
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,100
You said you wanted us to
help you clear out the loft.
223
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,600
This is the loft.
224
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,233
This is the loft, yes, but
this is the water tank.
225
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:52,500
Oh, well I meant clean
out the water tank then.
226
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,400
Well I know that now, don't I?
227
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:57,633
What's all this stuff in it?
228
00:06:57,633 --> 00:07:00,367
Oh, just general filth.
229
00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,833
Don't worry, you'll
have your dinner first.
230
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:02,900
Oh, I get fed, do I?
231
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,100
And we'll drain out the water.
232
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:04,933
That's good to know.
233
00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:06,067
I won't drown.
234
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:06,867
[Martin laughing]
235
00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:09,400
Dad!
236
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,633
Why couldn't you
get a man to do it?
237
00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:11,567
You're a man.
238
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,133
No I'm not, not a proper man.
239
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,167
He's not a proper man.
240
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,467
Oh, please piss off.
241
00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:17,200
Yes, piss off Jonny.
242
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,567
Your mother sees you up here
she'll only throw another fit.
243
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:20,400
Or plums.
244
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,433
Yeah, or plums.
245
00:07:21,433 --> 00:07:23,400
Well, have fun.
246
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,400
Oh, and one other thing.
247
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,667
What?
248
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:26,867
Best not do it in
all those clothes.
249
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,433
No, course not, I'll
do it in my underpants.
250
00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:29,767
Yes, that's what I normally do.
251
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,300
Coming back up for this.
252
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,600
Sorry, you want me to get
253
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,433
into the water tank
in my underpants?
254
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,733
It's all right, I'll
be in there too.
255
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,333
Me and you in our pants?
256
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:40,700
Mm, father and son nudity.
257
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:43,467
[Jackie] Boys, Aunty Val's here.
258
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,600
Aunty Val's here.
259
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,500
Oh, bloody Val.
260
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:49,200
You better not tell
her anything about--
261
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,667
You sleeping with Mum?
262
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:52,867
No doubt your mother's
been yabbering on to Val
263
00:07:52,867 --> 00:07:54,067
all about our problem.
264
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,300
What is your problem?
265
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,500
Oh no, don't ask that.
266
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,200
I told you, sexual.
267
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,433
-Agh.
-Adam.
268
00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,133
Sorry, I really didn't
think he'd say it again.
269
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,967
[mid-tempo music]
270
00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:12,233
[coughing]
271
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:14,167
Excuse me.
272
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,433
Jackie, can I say something?
273
00:08:16,433 --> 00:08:17,567
What, love?
274
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:19,400
This really is a
lovely bit of squirrel.
275
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,067
[laughing]
276
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:22,200
Yes, one of the best bits
277
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,933
of squirrel I've
ever eaten. [laughs]
278
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:27,967
Thank you, Martin.
279
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:29,667
Can you go and check
the crumble, please?
280
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,067
Check it for what, lice?
281
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,767
Just go and look at the crumble.
282
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,300
Very funny Val, lovely
bit of squirrel.
283
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:41,800
[Jackie and Val laughing]
284
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,900
[Martin] Where's the
bloody oven glove?
285
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:48,333
Oh, just look, impossible.
286
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,533
Aunty Val?
287
00:08:57,533 --> 00:08:58,767
What?
288
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,200
What's going on
with Mum and Dad?
289
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,500
I can't tell you
that, it's too--
290
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,467
[All] Personal.
291
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:05,067
Yeah, we know.
292
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,433
Boys, I can't.
293
00:09:07,433 --> 00:09:10,067
Right, is it another woman?
294
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,267
I'm really not allowed.
295
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:15,167
Oh, love the way you done
the potatoes, Jackie.
296
00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:16,567
Oh, thanks, love.
297
00:09:16,567 --> 00:09:17,667
Very fluffy.
298
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:18,500
The crumble smells funny.
299
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:20,433
It doesn't smell funny.
300
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,267
Is it off?
301
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:22,767
Oh, just sit down.
302
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:32,233
Adam and I are going
into the loft later, Val.
303
00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:33,067
Really?
304
00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:33,900
Oh yes.
305
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:34,733
Aren't we, Adam?
306
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:35,633
Yes, Dad.
307
00:09:35,633 --> 00:09:37,133
In their pants.
308
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:40,100
Val, you'll never guess what
I found up there earlier.
309
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,767
Martin, Valerie really
doesn't wanna know that.
310
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:42,600
Yes she does.
311
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,067
What was it?
312
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:44,967
Half a rat.
313
00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:46,100
Oh.
314
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,367
Dad.
315
00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:48,167
Oh, well thanks for
telling me, Martin.
316
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:49,467
Quite badly decomposed.
317
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:51,233
Martin, Val's eating.
318
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,700
All right, she's
not eating a rat.
319
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:55,067
Okay, why don't you eat down
320
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,367
the end of the table then, hm?
321
00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:57,200
Go on.
322
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,067
What?
323
00:09:58,067 --> 00:09:59,100
Yes, go on.
324
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,467
Go to the end of the table.
325
00:10:04,233 --> 00:10:05,133
Eat on your own.
326
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:09,000
Happy now?
327
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,500
Didn't actually have a head.
328
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,100
Oh, sorry Val.
329
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,300
Oh, it's okay, love.
330
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,667
So Adam, you gonna make
me wait all night then?
331
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:26,867
For what?
332
00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:29,200
What happened with
you and Hayley, silly?
333
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,300
Oh, Hayley.
334
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,767
Oh, Hayley.
335
00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:36,167
Well I, you know, went
on a date with her.
336
00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:37,000
Yeah, she knows that.
337
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:37,967
I know that.
338
00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:38,767
She knows that.
339
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,433
What else do you want me to say?
340
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:44,967
Well her mother said that
Hayley really liked you.
341
00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:45,900
Ooh!
342
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:47,267
Girl liked Adam?
343
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:48,933
What is she, a blind alcoholic?
344
00:10:48,933 --> 00:10:51,367
But apparently, you
never called her back.
345
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:52,500
Didn't you?
346
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,900
Why didn't you call Hayley back?
347
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,633
Yes, why didn't you
call Hayley Posner back?
348
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:58,067
Well, I--
349
00:10:58,067 --> 00:10:58,967
Tell us, was there
something wrong with her?
350
00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:00,333
Shut up!
351
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,567
I just, you know.
352
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:05,700
Let me guess, she had
an annoying laugh?
353
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:06,667
Her hands were too big?
354
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,733
She smelt funny?
355
00:11:08,733 --> 00:11:09,700
[Val] Smelt funny?
356
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:10,967
Did she smell funny?
357
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:13,567
No, course she
didn't smell funny.
358
00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,067
That crumble smells funny.
359
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:16,600
It does not smell funny.
360
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,433
[doorbell ringing]
361
00:11:17,433 --> 00:11:18,267
I'll get it.
362
00:11:18,267 --> 00:11:19,233
No, sit down, I'll go.
363
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:21,367
Close.
364
00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:25,067
Hello Jackie, I really--
365
00:11:25,067 --> 00:11:26,200
Oh hi, Jim.
366
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,367
Wow, you look--
367
00:11:27,367 --> 00:11:28,900
Yes, can I come in?
368
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,400
It's, it's a bit
of an emergency.
369
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,400
Really?
370
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,700
Um.
371
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:36,200
Okay.
372
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,067
Thank you.
373
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,167
Wilson, you stay.
374
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,500
Everything all right?
375
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,800
Everything?
376
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,300
Why are you dressed so, er,
377
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,833
I mean you look like a
real gentleman tonight.
378
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:52,200
Ooh, thank you
Jackie, and so do you.
379
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:55,467
Are, are the others here?
380
00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,300
Maybe they can help too.
381
00:11:58,267 --> 00:11:59,367
Um.
382
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,567
Okay, come through.
383
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:04,400
Yes.
384
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:08,533
Jim's here, it's
er, an emergency.
385
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:10,367
Yes, it's a real emerge-
386
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,433
Twins?
387
00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:18,067
What?
388
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,400
Tw, twins?
389
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,600
Oh, no, we're not.
390
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,667
We're not related. [laughs]
391
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:28,333
No, Jim, this is
Val, my best friend.
392
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:29,167
Val.
393
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,600
What's the emergency?
394
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:36,400
Oh yes, has anyone
got a phone charger?
395
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:38,833
That's the emergency?
396
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,233
You need a phone charger?
397
00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:42,767
Yes, well, my mobile
phone has run out
398
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:44,500
and I need to make
a telephone call.
399
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,933
See, Wilson did something
terrible with, with my charger.
400
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,500
Just terrible.
401
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,967
And you need to do it now?
402
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:53,067
Yes, I have only got the number
in my telephone, you see,
403
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:54,567
and it's, it's for tonight.
404
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,100
I'm having a date.
405
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:56,933
A date?
406
00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:58,067
Yes, with a lady.
407
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,333
Ooh, how exciting.
408
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:03,067
Yes, where, where did
you meet this lady?
409
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:05,067
In a yellowish room.
410
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,900
I'll just go and find a charger.
411
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,600
Yes, go and sniff it out.
412
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,567
Thank you.
413
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:13,100
Ow!
414
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,067
What kind of phone is it?
415
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,167
A portable one.
416
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:18,100
Right.
417
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,600
Wearing a bib?
418
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,867
No, she was meant to coming
round tonight for dinner,
419
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,267
but she hasn't turned up.
420
00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:24,867
How strange.
421
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:27,733
Yes, it is strange, so I,
I really must call her.
422
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,600
You've made her
dinner, have you?
423
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:31,400
Oh, yes.
424
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,233
Oh, how romantic.
425
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:33,600
What are you having?
426
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:34,800
Sheep.
427
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,500
Here, this one fits.
428
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,733
Thank you, Jonny.
429
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,167
Adam.
430
00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:40,733
Thanks all, better be off.
431
00:13:40,733 --> 00:13:41,633
Oh, Wilson.
432
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:46,267
Oh he, he's gone up the stairs.
433
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,400
Wilson, come down, Wilson.
434
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,567
Where's he gone?
435
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:50,900
Upstairs.
436
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,167
Upstairs?
437
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:54,067
[Jim] He's going into the loft.
438
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,333
He's going in the loft?
439
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:56,433
The loft? [laughs]
440
00:13:56,433 --> 00:13:58,067
[Jim] Don't worry, I'll get him.
441
00:13:58,067 --> 00:14:02,067
Feel free to give that tank
a good scrub, Jim. [laughs]
442
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:03,500
Why don't you go and
help him up there
443
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,600
instead of just
stuffing your fat face?
444
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,767
I thought you were ignoring me.
445
00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:09,133
What?
446
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:11,667
[sighs] Oh, just pass
the ketchup, would you?
447
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,400
I'm sorry, did
someone say something?
448
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,300
I didn't hear anything.
449
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,900
Val, could you pass
me the ketchup?
450
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:17,733
Don't help him, Val.
451
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:18,833
Don't worry, Jackie.
452
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:20,867
Boys, could you?
453
00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,067
-Here you go, Dad.
-Leave it.
454
00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,600
Right.
455
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,067
Thank you.
456
00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:38,433
Mm mm mm mm.
457
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:41,533
Mm.
458
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:42,367
Mm mm, ah.
459
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,433
[Jim] Wilson.
460
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,500
Ooh!
461
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:51,533
Oh Wilson, you're a bad Wilson.
462
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,067
Wet.
463
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,267
My god, Val.
464
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,300
I am so sorry about him.
465
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,767
Oh, don't worry, love.
466
00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:06,833
Yes, I'm sorry it's been like
this all evening, Valerie.
467
00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:08,067
You see, my wife's suffering
468
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:10,067
from a condition known
as Mad Womanitis.
469
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,233
Right, that's it, out
470
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,433
What, for saying Mad Womanitis?
471
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:16,933
Yes, you heard me, out.
472
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:17,767
Mum.
473
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:18,600
Shut up, Adam.
474
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,433
It was only a joke.
475
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,533
Mad Womanitis.
476
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:21,767
A joke, was it?
477
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,700
Okay, and was it
a joke that thing
478
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,167
that happened the
other night, hm?
479
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,233
What thing?
480
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:28,200
But I didn't do anything,.
481
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,633
Oh, Valerie, talk some sense
into her, for Chrissakes.
482
00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:32,967
I'm sorry Martin, but if
you don't mind my saying,
483
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,100
I think what you did to Jackie
that night was disgusting.
484
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,233
Thank you, love.
485
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:37,067
Disgusting.
486
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,400
Um, what's he done?
487
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,333
Please tell us.
488
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:41,367
But I didn't do anything.
489
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:42,967
You know very well what you did.
490
00:15:42,967 --> 00:15:45,200
And don't you dare
tell those two boys
491
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,500
a bloody thing, you hear me?
492
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,400
Now get out.
493
00:15:53,467 --> 00:15:55,533
You can't just chuck
Dad out like that.
494
00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:56,800
Oh, can't I?
495
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,500
Well if you're so happy
having a father who did
496
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,900
what he did, why don't
you go with him then?
497
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:03,167
What?
498
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,500
Go on, both of you.
499
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,300
Out.
500
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,900
So where are we gonna go then?
501
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:09,833
I don't know, the pub?
502
00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:10,767
What?
503
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:11,700
Not the horrible, horrible pub.
504
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,200
Yes, the horrible, horrible pub.
505
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,100
Where we going?
506
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,067
[Both] The pub.
507
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,700
The punk?
508
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,700
Yes, we're all
going to the punk.
509
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,533
[mid-tempo music]
510
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,200
Is this it?
511
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,667
Oh yes.
512
00:16:30,667 --> 00:16:33,067
The friendliest
pub in the world.
513
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:43,467
Evening.
514
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:44,300
How are you?
515
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,133
What?
516
00:16:45,133 --> 00:16:46,067
How's business?
517
00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:47,100
Business?
518
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,200
Dad.
519
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,100
How's your business doing?
520
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:50,933
Shit.
521
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,067
Oh.
522
00:16:53,067 --> 00:16:54,067
Can you just order?
523
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:56,067
Um, yes, three drinks please.
524
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:58,067
What three drinks?
525
00:16:58,067 --> 00:16:59,867
Um, what would you recommend?
526
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:02,733
Well, we've got
beer, lager, spirits.
527
00:17:02,733 --> 00:17:04,067
Shall we get one of each then?
528
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:06,100
Sorry, one moment please.
529
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,633
Dad, when was the last
time you went into a pub?
530
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:11,400
Um, 1997.
531
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,867
To buy a drink?
532
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:13,767
To use the loos.
533
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:17,567
Three pints of lager, please.
534
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,633
We're gonna get it
out of you eventually.
535
00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:22,100
I told you, I can't say.
536
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,067
Mum will do her nut.
537
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,100
But mum is a nut
538
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,600
Come on, was it another woman?
539
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,800
Oh Jonny, please.
540
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,333
All right, another man?
541
00:17:30,333 --> 00:17:31,167
Two women?
542
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,067
Two men?
543
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:32,933
Two dogs?
544
00:17:35,167 --> 00:17:36,333
Er.
545
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:37,167
Mum?
546
00:17:38,733 --> 00:17:39,867
Jackie, Jackie.
547
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,133
What?
548
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,833
What are you doing here?
549
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,667
Well, you came to
the pub for a drink,
550
00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:47,200
so we came to the
pub for a drink.
551
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,200
Or is that not allowed?
552
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,467
But.
553
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,467
Oh, come on Jackie,
what are you having?
554
00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:54,800
Oh dear.
555
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,067
Bloody hell, I suppose
556
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:57,067
I'd better go and
talk to the woman.
557
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:57,833
Is that good idea?
558
00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:58,667
Probably not.
559
00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:00,467
[Man] Two gin and tonics.
560
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:01,733
I'll get those.
561
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:03,600
Um, can you leave
us alone, please.
562
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,833
What?
563
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:05,833
I'm having a drink
with my friend.
564
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:06,667
That's right.
565
00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:07,700
Don't be so stupid.
566
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:10,500
Oh, I'm being stupid, am I?
567
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,933
Er, is this man
bothering you, ladies?
568
00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:14,567
Yes, actually.
569
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:17,200
You heard the lady,
move away from the bar.
570
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,067
Sorry?
571
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:19,067
Go on then.
572
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,533
What, I'm not listening to him.
573
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:21,867
What did you say?
574
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:22,800
Everything all right?
575
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:23,533
I said, what did you just say?
576
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:26,767
I said I'm not listening
to you, Thicko.
577
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:27,600
What?
578
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:28,533
He doesn't mean that.
579
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:29,333
He calls everyone a thicko.
580
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:30,167
It's all right, boys.
581
00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,400
No, it's not all right.
582
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,067
Your father is getting
on my bloody nerves.
583
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,067
Can you keep your voice down?
584
00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,667
Seriously, my bloody nerves.
585
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,433
I said, can you keep
your voice down?
586
00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:39,333
Just shut up.
587
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:40,567
She doesn't mean that.
588
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:41,467
She tells everyone to shut up.
589
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:43,200
Right, that's it.
590
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,433
You and you, out.
591
00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:46,300
What?
592
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,667
Come on, you're going.
593
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:48,500
You're going.
594
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,333
But it's his fault.
595
00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:50,167
Yes.
596
00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:51,067
Don't listen to them.
597
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:51,833
But.
598
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:52,767
[mid-tempo music]
599
00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:54,400
You're leaving.
600
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,233
Out.
601
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,567
So you're still not
talking to me then?
602
00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:02,700
No, I am not.
603
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,200
But Jackie, I.
604
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,233
Right you, the loft.
605
00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,333
Oh.
606
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,267
Go on, Pusface.
607
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:09,500
[Martin] Come on, Jackie.
608
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,067
Okay, that's it, that
thing is coming off now.
609
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,233
No way.
610
00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:13,500
Yes way, it's coming
off right this second.
611
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,400
Get off, get.
612
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,567
[moaning]
613
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:19,900
What's the matter?
614
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,067
What happened?
615
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:25,200
I, I think I've
dislocated my shoulder.
616
00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:28,867
[mid-tempo music]
617
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,467
Okay, so first we're gonna
need to give it an X-ray.
618
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:34,433
Okay.
619
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:35,600
And while we're at it,
620
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,900
we'll take a quick
x-ray of the other one.
621
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,100
Sorry, the other one?
622
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,267
Yes, the other one.
623
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,833
Good idea, Doctor.
624
00:19:40,833 --> 00:19:41,767
And then we can--
625
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,733
Sorry, um, the other one, it's.
626
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,867
You know what, it's really
feeling suddenly a lot better.
627
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:49,767
Really?
628
00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:51,100
Really?
629
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,567
It's a miracle.
630
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,833
Yeah.
631
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,533
Er, ah, I guess it
just clicked back
632
00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:57,300
into place or something.
633
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,533
Ha.
634
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:01,700
Nah, no, I think I'm
er, cured, Doctor.
635
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,867
Yeah, really, thanks.
636
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:03,767
Thank you.
637
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:04,600
[pager beeping]
638
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,433
Oh, not now.
639
00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:06,300
One moment, please.
640
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:09,267
Great, isn't it?
641
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,767
Okay, what's going on?
642
00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:12,400
Nothing, nothing's going on.
643
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,200
Jonny?
644
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:14,033
You dare.
645
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:17,267
Jonny was pretending to have
a bad shoulder all night
646
00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:19,067
to get out of doing the loft.
647
00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:19,900
What?
648
00:20:20,767 --> 00:20:22,000
Martin, did you hear that?
649
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,567
No.
650
00:20:23,567 --> 00:20:26,400
I can't believe you, Jonny,
you bloody little liar.
651
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,200
All right then, the reason Adam
652
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,633
didn't call Val's niece back
after he slept with her--
653
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:31,467
Oh, god.
654
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:33,167
Ow!
655
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:34,467
What's that for?
656
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,933
You're not to sleep
with mum's friends.
657
00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:39,500
Not Val.
658
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,467
Val's niece.
659
00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:42,233
Oh, in that case, well done.
660
00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:43,833
No, one minute.
661
00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:45,700
You slept with Val's niece?
662
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,300
Only a bit.
663
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,500
A bit?
664
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:49,767
Yeah, and he didn't
call her back
665
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:51,700
because he thought she
smelt like you, Mum.
666
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:54,400
You didn't call her back
because she smelt li, like me?
667
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,033
Yes.
668
00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:58,233
What, what's wrong
with my smell?
669
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,367
Nothing's wrong with your
smell, when it's on you.
670
00:21:00,367 --> 00:21:01,233
What was the problem?
671
00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:02,167
She smelt like Mum.
672
00:21:02,167 --> 00:21:03,967
Ooh, smelt like Mum.
673
00:21:03,967 --> 00:21:05,500
All right then,
now all our stuff's
674
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,100
out in the open,
what about you two?
675
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,100
Why don't you tell us about
what your stupid argument's
676
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,400
been about the
whole bloody night?
677
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,733
Yeah.
678
00:21:11,733 --> 00:21:12,867
It's personal.
679
00:21:12,867 --> 00:21:13,967
[Boys] It's sexual.
680
00:21:13,967 --> 00:21:15,200
How did you?
681
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,233
All right, what have you
been telling the boys?
682
00:21:17,233 --> 00:21:18,800
I haven't been
telling them anything.
683
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,333
Really?
684
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:23,267
Okay, no, go on Martin,
tell them then, go on.
685
00:21:23,267 --> 00:21:24,667
Tell them what?
686
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:27,700
All those things
you did, to her.
687
00:21:27,700 --> 00:21:29,633
But I didn't do anything.
688
00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:30,833
Really?
689
00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:33,167
I think you better tell us.
690
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,700
Tell your sons who it was with.
691
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:39,533
-Dad?
-Dad?
692
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,267
All right.
693
00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:45,833
Lady Di.
694
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,067
-Sorry?
-What?
695
00:21:48,067 --> 00:21:49,533
Lady Di.
696
00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,367
Lady Di?
697
00:21:50,367 --> 00:21:51,533
Yes, Lady Di.
698
00:21:51,533 --> 00:21:53,500
Lady Di, as in Lady Di?
699
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,533
The Lady Di?
700
00:21:54,533 --> 00:21:55,367
Yes.
701
00:21:55,367 --> 00:21:56,500
Lady Diana?
702
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:57,733
Lady Diana Spencer?
703
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,067
Yes, Lady bleeding
Diana Spencer.
704
00:22:00,067 --> 00:22:00,800
Lady Di.
705
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,067
You see.
706
00:22:02,067 --> 00:22:05,400
I dreamt I was in a bath
of milk with Lady Di.
707
00:22:06,567 --> 00:22:07,733
I'm sorry, what
did you just say?
708
00:22:07,733 --> 00:22:09,933
I dreamt I was
having a milk bath.
709
00:22:09,933 --> 00:22:11,067
A milk bath?
710
00:22:11,067 --> 00:22:11,833
Yes.
711
00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:12,867
Did he say dreamt?
712
00:22:12,867 --> 00:22:14,400
Yes, with Lady Di.
713
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,633
It was a dream?
714
00:22:15,633 --> 00:22:18,900
All about your dad and
Lady Diana Spencer,
715
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:23,300
naked, naked in a bath of milk.
716
00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:25,067
But in a dream.
717
00:22:25,067 --> 00:22:26,433
You see, it was nothing.
718
00:22:26,433 --> 00:22:28,800
It was not nothing, it
was you and Lady Di.
719
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,933
Yeah, in my head, in
my fast asleep head.
720
00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:33,700
It's completely
different from real life.
721
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,700
In your head, in the
bath, it's the same thing.
722
00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:37,933
It's really not the same thing.
723
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:39,067
Sorry, but that's what
you've been arguing
724
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,400
about the whole night?
725
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,667
Dad's ridiculous, stupid dream?
726
00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:43,667
Incredible.
727
00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:44,767
Incredible.
728
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,667
Actually it really
was incredible.
729
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:58,433
* I change shapes just
to hide in this place *
730
00:22:58,433 --> 00:23:03,367
* But I'm still, I'm
still an animal *
731
00:23:03,367 --> 00:23:06,067
* Nobody knows it
but me when I slip *
732
00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:10,500
* Yeah I slip, I'm
still an animal *
733
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:13,533
* I change shapes just
to hide in this place *
734
00:23:13,533 --> 00:23:18,533
* But I'm still, I'm
still an animal *
735
00:23:19,167 --> 00:23:21,067
* Animal
736
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,500
[slow music]
45981
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