Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,471 --> 00:00:01,502
(GRUNTS)
2
00:00:05,136 --> 00:00:06,506
Oh, come on, Andyman.
3
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,379
You got to earn the burn, baby.
4
00:00:11,242 --> 00:00:12,712
Whoo!
5
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,144
(GROANS PAINFULLY)
6
00:00:14,145 --> 00:00:16,146
Andy, Andy, Andy,
Andy, what are you doing?
7
00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:19,389
Oh. Uh, just
pumping some iron.
8
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:20,520
I want to look good for Alicia
9
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,192
when she makes her deliveries.
10
00:00:22,193 --> 00:00:23,293
The other day she said
11
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:25,395
if I worked out,
I'd look hotter.
12
00:00:25,396 --> 00:00:26,756
You know what would
make you look hotter?
13
00:00:26,757 --> 00:00:29,530
Some pink leg warmers to go
with those pink dumbbells.
14
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,332
I stole them from Dana.
15
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,634
Nine years ago she borrowed
my favorite pie tin
16
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,636
and never returned it.
17
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,310
Vengeance, thy name is dumbbell.
18
00:00:41,572 --> 00:00:43,743
Come on. Son of a gun,
where's Alicia?
19
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,275
She's usually here by now.
20
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,277
You know she's got
a boyfriend, right?
21
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:49,419
Yes, I'm aware of that.
22
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:52,082
But when an A-plus chick
compliments you, Jim,
23
00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:54,724
it gives you the confidence
to hit on the C-minuses.
24
00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:56,086
Hell, with these guns,
25
00:00:56,087 --> 00:00:59,289
I may even go for a solid C.
26
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:02,092
Every doctor you've been to
has begged you to exercise,
27
00:01:02,093 --> 00:01:04,294
and you want a second opinion.
28
00:01:04,295 --> 00:01:06,636
But some cute blonde
in brown pants says
29
00:01:06,637 --> 00:01:07,697
one little thing...
30
00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,169
Oh, please. Come on.
31
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,070
You suck in your gut
when she comes by.
32
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,304
You know what that's
called? Breathing.
33
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,675
One uses their entire
34
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:18,308
diaphragm for optimal health.
35
00:01:18,309 --> 00:01:20,310
Are you saying that a hot chick
36
00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:22,352
has no effect on you at all?
37
00:01:22,353 --> 00:01:24,154
I have a hot chick at home.
38
00:01:24,155 --> 00:01:25,656
Her name is my wife.
39
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,588
That's all I need.
40
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,819
And like they say,
you know what?
41
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:31,391
Why go out for hamburger
42
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,193
when you get the cow for free?
43
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,595
(TRUCK RUMBLING OUTSIDE)
44
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,328
Oh, God! She's here.
45
00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:42,402
Andy, what are you doing?
(GRUNTING)
46
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:43,473
Hey, guys. What's up?
47
00:01:43,474 --> 00:01:45,104
BOTH: Hey, Alicia.
48
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,477
I didn't know you
were coming today.
49
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:51,111
All right. Working out
and looking good.
50
00:01:51,882 --> 00:01:54,214
Well...
(PANTING)
51
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,115
It's not about looks.
52
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,118
It's about being healthy.
53
00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:00,750
Good attitude.
54
00:02:00,751 --> 00:02:03,393
I love the smiley face you
put over the I in Jim.
55
00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:05,555
(CHUCKLES) Well,
you know, if you can't put
56
00:02:05,556 --> 00:02:07,727
a smile on someone's
face every day,
57
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:11,130
what's the point
of getting out of bed?
58
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,263
If only everyone
thought that way.
59
00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:15,705
There'd be no wars,
I'll tell you that.
60
00:02:15,706 --> 00:02:17,767
That is so true.
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
61
00:02:17,768 --> 00:02:20,670
Oh, anyway, I got another
package outside, but it's pretty big.
62
00:02:20,671 --> 00:02:22,373
Oh...
I'll get it! Me!
63
00:02:23,914 --> 00:02:26,746
What is it, like 60, 70 pounds?
64
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,249
Because, uh, that's how
much I'm curling these days.
65
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,380
All right!
66
00:02:30,381 --> 00:02:32,322
You, you keep looking good.
67
00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:34,224
Me and the twins,
68
00:02:34,225 --> 00:02:35,826
we'll be right back.
69
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:43,393
Hey! Someone bought
a new shirt.
70
00:02:43,394 --> 00:02:45,395
See, I told you
that's your color.
71
00:02:45,396 --> 00:02:48,468
You did? You know,
I don't recall that.
72
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,470
Oh, it so brings out your eyes.
73
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,541
Well, that's good,
because you know what?
74
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:53,343
I keep my eyes open
most of the day,
75
00:02:53,344 --> 00:02:54,705
then at night I, uh...
76
00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:56,807
I close them.
77
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:01,681
You know what else would
look awesome on you?
78
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,813
What's that?
A mustache.
79
00:03:03,814 --> 00:03:05,355
Come on!
Get out of here.
80
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:07,587
Seriously.
Mustaches are back.
81
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,818
I know, because I have
a friend who goes
82
00:03:08,819 --> 00:03:10,761
to the Rhode Island
School of Design.
83
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,962
A mustache?
84
00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:14,424
I don't know.
85
00:03:14,425 --> 00:03:17,297
Oh, come on. With
those cheekbones?
86
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,968
Well, I have been looking
for a way to accent them.
87
00:03:18,969 --> 00:03:20,200
I...
88
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,373
(GRUNTING)
89
00:03:25,776 --> 00:03:27,577
Well, ah!
90
00:03:27,578 --> 00:03:29,839
It's time to get back to work.
91
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,443
I guess I'd better be
heading to my desk.
92
00:03:33,444 --> 00:03:34,614
All right, bye, guys.
93
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,215
All right, Alicia, bye-bye.
94
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,747
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
95
00:03:37,748 --> 00:03:41,621
Andy, Andy, you can drop
the act. She's gone.
96
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:44,695
Yeah. I think
I pulled something.
97
00:03:51,762 --> 00:03:52,763
JIM: Oh, baby.
98
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,751
Anybody need a little
top-off of juice?
99
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,924
Daddy, when is your face
going to come back?
100
00:04:16,587 --> 00:04:18,788
Yeah. You look weird.
101
00:04:18,789 --> 00:04:22,762
Well, look, it's going to be a little
hard to get used to, that's for sure.
102
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,365
But a lot of great
men had mustaches.
103
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,998
Albert Einstein, Mike Ditka...
104
00:04:30,401 --> 00:04:31,772
Yosemite Sam.
105
00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:34,405
KIDS: Oh...
106
00:04:35,506 --> 00:04:37,647
I like your mustache, Daddy.
107
00:04:37,648 --> 00:04:40,450
Well, thank you,
my new favorite.
108
00:04:40,451 --> 00:04:43,484
Oh, by the way, I borrowed
your doll's comb. Is that all right?
109
00:04:46,357 --> 00:04:47,518
Keep it.
110
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,823
Daddy, you look like Aunt
Kunka from the old country.
111
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,527
That's who it is! Thank you!
112
00:04:57,528 --> 00:04:59,929
That has been driving me crazy!
113
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:02,072
All right, guys, time
to get ready for school.
114
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,535
Aunt Kunka. Please.
115
00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:07,408
She had a full beard.
116
00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:10,710
Honey, would you sit down?
117
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,842
I need to talk to you about
something I think is important.
118
00:05:12,843 --> 00:05:14,544
Sure, sure.
119
00:05:14,545 --> 00:05:16,085
(SIGHS)
Anything, my young love.
120
00:05:16,086 --> 00:05:17,317
Yes?
121
00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:20,691
Lose the 'stache.
122
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,653
What?
123
00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:25,495
Well, honey, I know this is
a new look you wanted to try,
124
00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:27,457
and I really thought
I'd be okay with it,
125
00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:30,530
but now that it's
officially a mustache...
126
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,031
What are you talking about?
127
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,664
This looks good on me.
128
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,367
Yeah. Not so much.
129
00:05:38,869 --> 00:05:40,840
Well, for your information,
there are a lot of people
130
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,842
that think this is really cool.
131
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,943
Who?
132
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,575
You know...
133
00:05:45,576 --> 00:05:46,577
People.
134
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,849
I mean, when you're
walking down a mall
135
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,481
and some guy yells,
"Hey, nice mustache!"
136
00:05:51,482 --> 00:05:53,162
You don't stop and say,
"What's your name?"
137
00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:55,686
So, nobody?
138
00:05:56,527 --> 00:05:57,858
A guy in the mall!
139
00:05:58,689 --> 00:06:00,490
Look, honey...
140
00:06:00,491 --> 00:06:02,992
Jim, when you kissed
me last night,
141
00:06:02,993 --> 00:06:04,734
you scratched my face.
142
00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:05,995
Ok, fine. No more kissing.
143
00:06:05,996 --> 00:06:07,598
It's not my favorite
part anyway.
144
00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:10,039
Hey!
145
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,841
Cheryl, come on!
146
00:06:11,842 --> 00:06:14,844
This mustache is an
expression of who I am.
147
00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:17,146
Like you women, you know,
with your burning the bras,
148
00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:20,480
the right to vote,
wanting to be astronauts.
149
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:23,714
You got to respect
my choice, okay?
150
00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:27,488
Hear me roar.
151
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,162
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to work.
152
00:06:33,624 --> 00:06:34,965
Hey.
Hey.
153
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:39,570
Say hello to the policeman
and the Indian chief for me.
154
00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:50,780
Cheryl, help me out here.
155
00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:52,512
Aunt Kunka.
156
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:55,585
Oh, my God! That's it!
Thank you! Oh, my God!
157
00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:59,118
Look, you know I am all for
anything that covers up Jim's face,
158
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,451
but, I mean, this is ridiculous.
159
00:07:01,452 --> 00:07:03,493
It's got to go. Why
won't he get rid of it?
160
00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:06,095
I know. Apparently
he's taken a moral stand.
161
00:07:06,096 --> 00:07:08,858
It's an expression of who he is.
162
00:07:08,859 --> 00:07:11,101
Well, yeah. He also
says that when he farts.
163
00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:15,105
I know, but what can I do?
164
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,938
Fight fire with fire.
165
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,041
Oh, I don't want
to grow a mustache.
166
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,043
No, Cheryl, I'm saying
167
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,145
take something that Jim
loves about you and change it.
168
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,446
And then when he complains...
169
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,878
Trade it for the mustache!
170
00:07:28,879 --> 00:07:30,680
Exactly.
That is brilliant!
171
00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:31,821
That's brilliant. Thank you.
172
00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:33,683
You know, I got to do something,
173
00:07:33,684 --> 00:07:35,925
because he's starting to twirl
the corners and laugh maniacally.
174
00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:36,927
(GROANS)
175
00:07:38,829 --> 00:07:40,059
Cheryl?
176
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,832
I'll be right out.
177
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:44,233
Hey, Jim, you know,
I was thinking about
178
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:45,835
what you were saying
about your mustache
179
00:07:45,836 --> 00:07:47,236
and how important it is to you,
180
00:07:47,237 --> 00:07:49,068
and you were right.
181
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,070
Thank you.
182
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:55,044
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
183
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,847
You know what, Cheryl? I
think I got a little, you know,
184
00:07:57,848 --> 00:07:59,680
Tom Selleck thing going on here.
185
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:07,857
Yeah, you know, you can do whatever
you want with your appearance,
186
00:08:07,858 --> 00:08:10,219
and I have absolutely
no say in the matter.
187
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,822
Well, thank you
for respecting my body.
188
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:13,993
All right, let's play
189
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,126
Magnum PI and hot guest star.
190
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,873
Cheryl.
191
00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:24,705
Cheryl.
192
00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:27,737
Cheryl.
193
00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:29,840
What do you think?
I dyed it.
194
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,612
Cheryl!
195
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:33,913
I thought it was
time for a change.
196
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,986
I got inspired by your mustache.
197
00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:38,618
Cheryl.
198
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,020
Oh, no. What
have I done?
199
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,222
You hate it.
200
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,154
Cheryl.
201
00:08:44,955 --> 00:08:46,956
I love it!
202
00:08:46,957 --> 00:08:48,998
Lose the robe!
What!
203
00:08:48,999 --> 00:08:50,900
Cheryl, you are hot!
204
00:08:50,901 --> 00:08:52,001
Are you kidding me?
205
00:08:52,002 --> 00:08:55,164
No! You're dark
and mysterious.
206
00:08:55,165 --> 00:08:56,766
Give me some of that
brunette sugar, baby!
207
00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:58,167
Wait. Ooh!
208
00:08:58,168 --> 00:09:00,239
I was worried you wouldn't
like it, because, you know,
209
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,841
you're always going on
and on about how much
210
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:03,774
you love my blonde hair.
211
00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:10,080
This... This is good, baby.
212
00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:14,083
Good. Great.
213
00:09:14,084 --> 00:09:16,726
Okay, all right, let's forget
about Magnum PI, all right?
214
00:09:16,727 --> 00:09:21,791
Let's play a wounded GI soldier
and lonely Italian housewife.
215
00:09:21,792 --> 00:09:25,294
All right, I say, "Can you
help me find my unit?"
216
00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:27,137
And you say...
I know what I say!
217
00:09:32,903 --> 00:09:35,805
Hello? I got your lunch.
218
00:09:35,806 --> 00:09:37,206
Oh. Not here.
219
00:09:37,207 --> 00:09:39,208
Oh, God. Don't they
ever air this thing out?
220
00:09:39,209 --> 00:09:41,249
It smells like the boys'
locker room in high school.
221
00:09:42,713 --> 00:09:44,114
From what I hear.
222
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,116
Oh. Look at me.
223
00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:49,759
All blonde and special.
224
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,922
Now I'm just
brunette and boring.
225
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,824
Thank you.
226
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,967
Oh, my God.
227
00:09:57,968 --> 00:10:01,971
These are my dumbbells. I
can't believe Andy took them.
228
00:10:01,972 --> 00:10:04,304
Wow. And you fired
your cleaning woman.
229
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:08,237
I have got to find a way
to get Andy back.
230
00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:09,608
I know, I know.
231
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,842
Why don't you talk him
into dyeing his hair?
232
00:10:12,843 --> 00:10:15,045
Jeez. I didn't know
brunettes could be so snotty.
233
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,047
I did.
234
00:10:18,789 --> 00:10:20,990
Oh, hi. Are Jim
and Andy here?
235
00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:22,992
Uh, no, but I'm Jim's wife.
I can sign for that.
236
00:10:22,993 --> 00:10:24,924
Oh, hi! You're Jim's wife?
237
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,356
Oh, Jim is the greatest.
Oh...
238
00:10:27,357 --> 00:10:29,659
And are you Andy's girlfriend?
239
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:31,261
He told me you lived in Canada.
240
00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:35,765
No. I'm his sister.
He stole my dumbbells.
241
00:10:35,766 --> 00:10:37,907
Oh. That might
be my fault.
242
00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:40,269
I'm the one who told him
he should start working out.
243
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:43,272
I'm always giving people
advice on how to look better.
244
00:10:43,273 --> 00:10:44,874
Bet your friends love that.
245
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:48,017
Oh! Jim and Andy sure do.
246
00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:50,950
That cool mustache? My idea.
247
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,122
BOTH: Oh.
248
00:10:53,123 --> 00:10:55,955
So we have you to
thank for that mustache.
249
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:58,157
Oh, please.
It's nothing.
250
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,029
Jim and Andy just listen to
me because I have a friend
251
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:02,762
who goes to the Rhode
Island School of Design.
252
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,234
Yeah, that must be it.
253
00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:07,667
They have so much respect
for that institution.
254
00:11:08,899 --> 00:11:11,000
Listen, um...
Um, Alicia,
255
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:14,744
I think it's just great that you're
helping Jim out with his new look.
256
00:11:14,745 --> 00:11:16,005
Oh, it's nothing.
257
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:18,407
You do?
Stay with me.
258
00:11:18,408 --> 00:11:22,451
Because, you know, there are so
many things I'd like to get Jim to try,
259
00:11:22,452 --> 00:11:24,915
but he just won't listen to me.
260
00:11:25,455 --> 00:11:26,716
Men.
261
00:11:26,717 --> 00:11:28,788
They never do what
you want them to.
262
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,059
Really?
263
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:32,061
I don't have that problem.
264
00:11:32,062 --> 00:11:33,763
Oh...
265
00:11:33,764 --> 00:11:35,264
You know, if there
were only some way
266
00:11:35,265 --> 00:11:37,366
for me to get Jim
to wear what I want.
267
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:38,427
Yeah.
268
00:11:38,428 --> 00:11:39,900
BOTH: Hmm...
269
00:11:44,234 --> 00:11:47,106
Whoa! Brain blast!
270
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,309
Maybe I could suggest
something to Jim for you.
271
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,811
What a great idea!
272
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:52,942
Oh, yeah.
273
00:11:52,943 --> 00:11:54,183
Oh, and don't forget Andy.
274
00:11:54,184 --> 00:11:56,245
He really needs a look.
275
00:11:56,246 --> 00:11:57,987
Ooh, great!
276
00:11:57,988 --> 00:11:59,949
Well, what do you
want to see them in?
277
00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:01,852
Would you give us a minute?
278
00:12:16,907 --> 00:12:19,109
CHERYL: Wow! You know,
279
00:12:20,310 --> 00:12:22,171
Jim, I got to be honest.
280
00:12:22,172 --> 00:12:24,243
Not a lot of guys
could pull that off.
281
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,015
DANA: No.
282
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:28,047
In a million years,
I never would have thought
283
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,608
of a kilt for you,
but it totally works.
284
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,350
I know!
285
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,953
Well, I understand it's all
the rage in Rhode Island.
286
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,786
Really?
Hey, honey,
287
00:12:36,787 --> 00:12:38,988
will you do Braveheart for me?
288
00:12:38,989 --> 00:12:40,130
Please?
289
00:12:43,533 --> 00:12:45,064
Freedom!
290
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,096
Oh!
291
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,339
That is so sexy.
292
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:51,501
(GASPS)
293
00:12:54,044 --> 00:12:57,247
I'm going to save some of that
Scottish butter cookie for you.
294
00:13:07,357 --> 00:13:09,860
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
295
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:18,068
(MACHO MAN PLAYING)
296
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,543
Yeah, yeah!
297
00:13:34,544 --> 00:13:37,147
Yeah, you wish
you looked this good!
298
00:13:38,849 --> 00:13:41,490
Here's a fashion tip
for you guys,
299
00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:43,924
butt cracks are out this season!
300
00:13:48,098 --> 00:13:50,860
Man, these guys know
nothing about fashion!
301
00:13:50,861 --> 00:13:52,402
Tell me about it.
302
00:13:56,106 --> 00:13:58,267
Andy, what the hell
happened to you?
303
00:13:58,268 --> 00:14:00,110
Did you cover
yourself in cheese?
304
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,874
What? I got a spray-on tan.
305
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,047
Look at you. You're
wearing a dress.
306
00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:10,950
This is not a
dress, it's a kilt.
307
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,553
It's what Scottish guys
wear to kick some ass.
308
00:14:15,025 --> 00:14:16,325
Bet you it's easy to kick ass
309
00:14:16,326 --> 00:14:17,887
when all you have to do
is lift a guy's skirt.
310
00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:19,358
Hey, hey!
311
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,590
I'm going to rough you up...
312
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,934
(CLEARS THROAT)
313
00:14:24,935 --> 00:14:26,565
What do you want, Kenny?
Oh.
314
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:29,068
Uh, I need some pencils
315
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,871
because I'm out of pencils.
316
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,474
Right there.
317
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:41,611
(CAMERA CLICKS)
318
00:14:43,453 --> 00:14:44,514
(CAMERA CLICKS)
319
00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,960
Oh, clumsy me. I...
320
00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:52,462
(CAMERA CLICKING)
321
00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,070
Jim, he's taking
pictures up your dress!
322
00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:03,102
Give me that!
323
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,674
It's not a dress, it's a kilt!
324
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,037
Kenny, what are you doing?
325
00:15:08,038 --> 00:15:10,139
Are you taking pictures
because I look weird?
326
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:12,411
No, some of the guys
aren't here today,
327
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,385
and they'd never believe, uh...
328
00:15:16,286 --> 00:15:18,088
How great you look.
329
00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:21,150
Let me ask you
a question, Kenny,
330
00:15:21,151 --> 00:15:23,022
and I want you to be truthful.
331
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,694
Pretend I'm not your boss. I'm
just some guy you met in a bar.
332
00:15:25,695 --> 00:15:27,497
I don't go to those
kind of bars.
333
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:33,103
I guess that answers
your question, loser.
334
00:15:34,104 --> 00:15:36,966
Loser? Kenny,
tell me the truth.
335
00:15:36,967 --> 00:15:39,969
What do you think he looks like?
336
00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:42,471
Like a creepy jack-o'-lantern.
337
00:15:42,472 --> 00:15:44,614
Get out of here! Go!
338
00:15:47,117 --> 00:15:49,018
All right, Jim,
339
00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:51,320
I guess there's a better
than average chance
340
00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:54,223
we both look ridiculous.
341
00:15:54,224 --> 00:15:56,385
I can't understand it.
Alicia specifically said
342
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:59,528
I had great calves and
I'd look great in a kilt.
343
00:15:59,529 --> 00:16:02,031
Since when do you care
what Alicia thinks?
344
00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:03,562
I don't care what Alicia thinks.
345
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:07,296
But I do respect the Rhode
Island School of Design.
346
00:16:07,297 --> 00:16:11,241
It's very prestig... Oh, my
God! I'm wearing a dress!
347
00:16:12,002 --> 00:16:13,142
(GASPS)
348
00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,105
And I'm a big gay pumpkin!
349
00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:18,178
Oh, God!
350
00:16:19,109 --> 00:16:20,280
Oh, God!
351
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,153
(CAMERA CLICKS)
352
00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:26,085
Why would Alicia do this to us?
353
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,586
I don't know!
354
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,218
Well, you can sure as hell
bet I'm going to ask her
355
00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:32,191
when she drops off
those Martin plans today.
356
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,263
No. She already
dropped them off.
357
00:16:34,264 --> 00:16:35,764
She did? Oh, you
signed for them?
358
00:16:35,765 --> 00:16:37,296
No. I thought you did.
359
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,429
No. I wasn't...
Who signed for them?
360
00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:43,033
Cheryl.
361
00:16:45,775 --> 00:16:47,277
BOTH: Cheryl!
362
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,683
You tricked me into
wearing a skirt to work!
363
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,545
And look what you did to me!
364
00:16:56,546 --> 00:16:59,189
I look like a great
big Oompa Loompa!
365
00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:03,722
Cheryl, you told me
I looked good in this!
366
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,154
You lied to me!
367
00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:06,725
No, no, no.
I set you up.
368
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,358
You of all people should
know the difference.
369
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,331
But why me, Cheryl?
I'm orange everywhere.
370
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:13,633
Everywhere!
371
00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:17,606
It was me, you idiot!
372
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:18,767
What did I ever do to you?
373
00:17:18,768 --> 00:17:20,539
You stole my dumbbells!
374
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,711
You had it coming. You
took my favorite pie tin!
375
00:17:22,712 --> 00:17:25,475
Oh, any tin with a pie in
it is your favorite pie tin.
376
00:17:27,077 --> 00:17:30,080
You know, when I sweat,
this stuff runs.
377
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:31,650
So?
378
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:35,285
So, you have a
brand-new white couch.
379
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:50,139
Cheryl, you let me go
out there wearing a dress!
380
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:51,370
No, Jim, it's a kilt.
381
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,742
It's a dress!
382
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,505
I know you talked
to Alicia, didn't you?
383
00:17:56,506 --> 00:18:01,110
Oh, you mean the talking rack
who just loves your mustache?
384
00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:05,514
Cheryl, Alicia is a valued colleague
of mine whose opinion I respect.
385
00:18:05,515 --> 00:18:07,486
And besides, she has
a friend that goes to...
386
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,858
I know, I know, I know. The
Rhode Island School of Design.
387
00:18:09,859 --> 00:18:12,291
Hey, hey, I have a friend
in medical school.
388
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,663
Can I take out your appendix?
389
00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:16,725
Yes, you can.
390
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:18,727
There! I win!
Oh...
391
00:18:18,728 --> 00:18:20,499
You know what I want to know?
392
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,571
Why did you listen
to her over me?
393
00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,773
Cheryl, it's a very
complicated issue,
394
00:18:24,774 --> 00:18:28,437
and frankly, the subtleties, I don't
think you're going to be able to grasp.
395
00:18:28,438 --> 00:18:30,409
Because the hot chick
thought you were cute?
396
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,281
That would be it.
397
00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:34,243
Okay, I win. Honesty.
398
00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:36,685
Wait, Jim, come back here!
399
00:18:36,686 --> 00:18:39,117
I'm your wife, Jim.
400
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,420
I love your face the way it is.
401
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,292
It's the first thing
I see in the morning
402
00:18:43,293 --> 00:18:44,653
and the last thing
I see at night.
403
00:18:44,654 --> 00:18:46,695
It's the face I've kissed
for the last 13 years
404
00:18:46,696 --> 00:18:49,298
and I will for the next 50.
405
00:18:49,299 --> 00:18:50,759
Come on.
406
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,563
Doesn't that mean more than
what some young hot chick says?
407
00:18:54,564 --> 00:18:56,765
Not really.
Oh!
408
00:18:56,766 --> 00:18:59,638
Oh, come on, Cheryl,
I love you like crazy.
409
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,540
But I'm a guy!
410
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,213
It's normal for a guy to
get a little jolt when a...
411
00:19:04,214 --> 00:19:07,276
You know, a chick that's not
your wife gives you a little attention.
412
00:19:07,277 --> 00:19:08,847
Why?
413
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:12,150
Well, you know, it makes
you feel like you still got it.
414
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,723
Oh, come on, Cheryl. You
know what I'm talking about.
415
00:19:14,724 --> 00:19:17,326
How about when those
three bag boys
416
00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:21,230
carry one loaf of bread
to your car for you?
417
00:19:21,231 --> 00:19:22,431
All right, I'll give you that.
418
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,894
All right. We agree.
419
00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:28,598
So I won two, and this
one's a push. Let's go eat.
420
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,571
You know what's
really bothering me?
421
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:35,204
Oh, man...
422
00:19:35,205 --> 00:19:36,875
Why do we have to go to
"What's really bothering me"
423
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,209
after I win two out of three?
424
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,612
Hey, close your
legs, Sharon Stone.
425
00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:54,463
You know what it is?
You chose Alicia over me.
426
00:19:54,464 --> 00:19:55,624
No, I didn't.
427
00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,366
Yes, you did. You did.
428
00:19:57,367 --> 00:20:00,299
You knew I hated that
mustache, and you kept it anyway.
429
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:03,372
That makes her more
important than me.
430
00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:05,335
You know I would
never do that to you.
431
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,308
Well, in my defense,
432
00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:11,911
I really didn't bother
to think about it.
433
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:14,984
Well...
434
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:18,318
Think about it now.
435
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,266
Now come on, Cheryl.
436
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:39,769
You know you're the most
important woman in the world to me.
437
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:46,676
I do.
438
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,452
Is that potato chip?
439
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,384
Taco shell.
440
00:20:55,385 --> 00:20:56,426
Ugh!
441
00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:59,288
All right.
442
00:20:59,289 --> 00:21:00,429
I'll go shave it off.
443
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:01,730
Oh, thank you.
444
00:21:01,731 --> 00:21:04,263
Hey, but, honey, don't
take off the kilt just yet.
445
00:21:05,295 --> 00:21:06,635
Why not?
446
00:21:06,636 --> 00:21:08,567
Well, you know, I always
wanted to go to Scotland,
447
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:11,300
and you do have amazing calves.
448
00:21:11,301 --> 00:21:13,643
(IN SCOTTISH ACCENT)
Aye, lassie, I do, don't I?
449
00:21:14,944 --> 00:21:17,406
And a terrible Scottish accent.
450
00:21:17,407 --> 00:21:19,308
Aye, that, too.
451
00:21:19,309 --> 00:21:20,649
Hey, do you really like
my hair this way?
452
00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:22,311
Yes.
453
00:21:22,312 --> 00:21:23,652
Doesn't it bother you that it
doesn't really look like me?
454
00:21:23,653 --> 00:21:25,053
No, I get the best
of both worlds.
455
00:21:25,054 --> 00:21:26,555
I get to be with another woman,
456
00:21:26,556 --> 00:21:27,757
and you're there, too.
29961
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof