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1
00:00:01,032 --> 00:00:02,572
Gosh, it's weird
being back at work.
2
00:00:02,573 --> 00:00:05,205
I forgot about all the office
politics and the backstabbing.
3
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,337
Oh, no. Is somebody
picking on you?
4
00:00:07,338 --> 00:00:10,740
No, no. I'm doing it
to other people.
5
00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:13,213
I just... I forgot
how much fun it was.
6
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,284
Oh.
7
00:00:14,285 --> 00:00:15,645
Hey, Daddy's home.
8
00:00:15,646 --> 00:00:17,217
BOTH: Hi, Daddy.
Honey.
9
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,419
Hello, my doves.
Hello, my angel.
10
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,152
Hello, leftovers.
11
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:25,095
Cheryl, tell me about your day.
12
00:00:25,096 --> 00:00:27,327
But just the highlights, please.
13
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,728
Okay, you remember
how I told you
14
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,800
Mrs. Reifschneider
is retiring?
15
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:33,503
Guess who's in charge
of her send-off party.
16
00:00:33,504 --> 00:00:36,766
Cheryl, do you know
what highlights are?
17
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:40,570
And who is this, uh, Mrs.
Riffstinker? What's her name?
18
00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:43,273
It's Reifschneider.
Ruby's art teacher?
19
00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:45,275
Her favorite?
20
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:48,248
You rear-ended her
in the parking lot.
21
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,679
Oh, yeah.
Ratstellar.
22
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,451
Oh.
23
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:52,782
Daddy, look what I
made you in art class.
24
00:00:52,783 --> 00:00:54,254
Will you put it on the fridge?
25
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:56,487
Yes. Just so happens
I have business there.
26
00:00:58,389 --> 00:01:00,290
I love art class.
27
00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,332
I get to sit next
to Bobby Simmons.
28
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,164
He wants to have a playdate.
29
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,695
Wow, that's pretty forward.
30
00:01:05,696 --> 00:01:07,567
You know, my advice,
get to know him over drinks.
31
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,370
You know, a little
punch on the playground.
32
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:13,273
And when it's time to pay,
don't reach for your purse.
33
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,705
But what purse?
34
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,508
You're gonna be good at this.
35
00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:20,610
But don't lead him on either.
36
00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:22,412
If you say you want him to call,
37
00:01:22,413 --> 00:01:24,515
don't give him a fake number.
38
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,088
'Cause that's just cruel.
39
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,460
Cheryl, Cheryl, there's no room
40
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:31,691
to put this up
on the refrigerator.
41
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,092
Can we get rid
of some of this stuff?
42
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,625
No, I like having this
stuff up here. It's special.
43
00:01:35,626 --> 00:01:38,628
No, honey. This isn't
special. The kids are special.
44
00:01:38,629 --> 00:01:40,730
Maybe we should put them up
on the refrigerator with magnets.
45
00:01:40,731 --> 00:01:42,672
All right, fine.
46
00:01:42,673 --> 00:01:44,434
Take this stuff
and put it in the garage
47
00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:46,806
in the box marked
"Ruby, second grade."
48
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,379
And while you're at it, take down
some of these word magnets of yours.
49
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:51,711
Oh, come on. I use them to
write little love poems to you.
50
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:55,114
Oh, yeah, they are
sweet, especially this one.
51
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,518
Too bad you couldn't find
something to rhyme with "doable."
52
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,430
JIM: Oh, baby!
53
00:02:18,769 --> 00:02:20,171
Oh, man.
54
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,646
Look at all this crap!
55
00:02:27,178 --> 00:02:29,619
All right.
"Baby clothes."
56
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:31,721
"Empty jars."
57
00:02:31,722 --> 00:02:33,454
"Oprah transcripts."
58
00:02:36,527 --> 00:02:38,328
"Ruby, second grade."
59
00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:39,730
Here we go. Oh!
60
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,563
Oh! Oh, my God!
What happened?
61
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,395
I'll tell you what happened.
62
00:02:45,396 --> 00:02:47,937
Eleven years of crap
that you won't throw out.
63
00:02:47,938 --> 00:02:50,500
Oh, come on. How
can you call this crap?
64
00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:52,472
(GASPS) Oh!
65
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:55,475
The blarney stone
Ruby made in kindergarten!
66
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,506
Honey, look!
67
00:02:56,507 --> 00:02:59,349
(CHUCKLES)
I'd hate to lose that.
68
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,410
We could never replace that.
69
00:03:00,411 --> 00:03:01,711
I mean, we'd have to go outside
70
00:03:01,712 --> 00:03:02,812
and dump a bunch
of glitter on a rock!
71
00:03:02,813 --> 00:03:04,414
Oh!
Come on!
72
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:05,655
Oh, honey, look!
73
00:03:05,656 --> 00:03:09,359
It's the TV from
our first apartment!
74
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,190
Do you remember we used
to watch it in the kitchen,
75
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,592
and I'd cut up vegetables,
and you'd say,
76
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,694
"Oh, I can't wait
to eat those."
77
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,697
Yeah. It's amazing what
you'll eat to get a woman in bed.
78
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,499
Oh, honey.
79
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,801
I keep this because
it reminds me of you.
80
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,534
Yeah, well, you know something
else that would remind you of me?
81
00:03:24,535 --> 00:03:26,376
The actual me!
82
00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:29,580
Yeah, but that reminds me of a
time I still thought I could change you.
83
00:03:30,741 --> 00:03:32,242
Come on, Cheryl.
84
00:03:32,243 --> 00:03:34,944
We've got to get rid
of some of this stuff, honey.
85
00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:37,517
I mean, you got
stuff here from college,
86
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:38,648
from when we were first dating.
87
00:03:38,649 --> 00:03:39,949
And what about
all this kids' stuff?
88
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:41,220
Look at this stuff.
89
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,922
(GASPS) Oh!
90
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,925
Could you just die?
91
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,997
This is a clay map of Illinois.
92
00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:49,629
I know.
93
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:50,960
It's not even to scale.
94
00:03:50,961 --> 00:03:52,231
Well...
95
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,404
Cheryl, it's an object.
It's an object.
96
00:03:54,405 --> 00:03:56,706
Objects aren't memories.
Memories are up here.
97
00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:58,369
And in here.
98
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,541
Cheryl, please.
99
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,373
We've got to get rid
of some of this stuff.
100
00:04:03,374 --> 00:04:05,815
I mean, I can't even get
the truck back in here.
101
00:04:05,816 --> 00:04:07,377
So?
102
00:04:07,378 --> 00:04:08,878
So?
103
00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:10,320
I'm getting rid
of some of this stuff.
104
00:04:10,321 --> 00:04:12,352
No, no, no.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
105
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,524
How about we compromise?
106
00:04:14,525 --> 00:04:16,326
How about we get a storage space
107
00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:18,027
and put all this stuff in there?
108
00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:21,531
Why? So we can not look
at this stuff somewhere else?
109
00:04:21,532 --> 00:04:23,864
No, honey. So I
know it's all there.
110
00:04:26,837 --> 00:04:29,400
All right, we'll compromise
and do it your way.
111
00:04:33,744 --> 00:04:35,005
All right.
112
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,006
Hey, hello.
113
00:04:37,007 --> 00:04:38,978
Hi. Welcome
to Store-It-All,
114
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,611
formerly U-Store-It-All.
115
00:04:41,612 --> 00:04:43,513
What happened to the "U"?
116
00:04:43,514 --> 00:04:44,784
Well, there was a murder,
117
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,457
and we wanted to
distance ourselves.
118
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:49,459
Can I help you?
119
00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:51,591
Yes. I'm looking
for a storage space.
120
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,324
Nothing fancy.
It's got to be cheap.
121
00:04:54,325 --> 00:04:55,995
All I want are four
walls and a roof.
122
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,967
So your crap won't be
needing a view then?
123
00:04:57,968 --> 00:04:59,299
Right.
124
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,973
Our basic unit is $60 a month.
125
00:05:03,974 --> 00:05:05,735
$60 a month?
126
00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:07,737
Jim, let me.
127
00:05:07,738 --> 00:05:10,740
Look, um, you're a very smart,
128
00:05:10,741 --> 00:05:13,413
and I must say
a very beautiful woman.
129
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:14,645
Yeah, I'll go out with you.
130
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,949
Okay, uh, slow down, honey.
You're crowding me.
131
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,951
No, um...
132
00:05:21,952 --> 00:05:23,323
(MOANS)
133
00:05:27,498 --> 00:05:30,561
I'm just looking for a
little break on the price.
134
00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:33,403
Can't help you.
135
00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:35,004
Come on, 60 bucks a month?
136
00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:38,708
That's like... That's
like a hot dog a day.
137
00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:40,109
So do you want the space or not?
138
00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:43,473
I've got to go track down
a smell on level 4.
139
00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:45,014
No, no way. I'm
not paying that much
140
00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:46,516
to store a bunch of junk.
141
00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:48,117
Well, then,
perhaps Store-It-All,
142
00:05:48,118 --> 00:05:51,781
formerly U-Store-It-All,
is not your cup of tea.
143
00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:53,853
Leave your number.
144
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,588
I expect a real dinner,
no drive-thru, no coupons.
145
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,793
Of course, baby.
You rollin' with the A-dog.
146
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,567
Whoo!
147
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:09,399
Slap some butter on the bread!
148
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,571
(GROANS)
149
00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:16,576
I don't know why I told
Cheryl that I would do this.
150
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:19,078
I'm just enabling her.
151
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,910
You know what? Screw it.
There's a dumpster out back.
152
00:06:20,911 --> 00:06:22,512
Let's throw all the crap out.
153
00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:24,654
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no.
You can't do that to Cheryl.
154
00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:27,457
I'm not doing it to...
I'm doing it for her.
155
00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:29,058
Don't you understand?
If she were a smoker,
156
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:30,820
I'd throw out
her cigarettes, right?
157
00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:32,562
Jim, she used to be a smoker,
158
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:33,923
and you never threw
out her cigarettes.
159
00:06:33,924 --> 00:06:36,766
That's because it was
never my damn business.
160
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:38,598
No, no.
I don't know, Jim.
161
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,472
Hey, do you want
a hot dog every day?
162
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:45,175
Because I could
show you that world.
163
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,779
I can see it.
164
00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,682
It's so beautiful.
165
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,792
Mommy, can I help with
Mrs. Reifschneider's party?
166
00:07:02,793 --> 00:07:06,195
Sure, honey. Why don't you help
make one of these centerpieces?
167
00:07:06,196 --> 00:07:07,457
Okay, you know what?
168
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:08,758
Why don't you put
that over here?
169
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:11,461
Yeah, you know... Why
don't you just watch Mommy?
170
00:07:11,462 --> 00:07:12,763
Okay? Okay.
171
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,434
So, Gracie, dish.
172
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,837
How were drinks
with Bobby Simmons?
173
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:20,811
He sucked the punch
up his nose with a straw.
174
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,443
I like that.
175
00:07:24,475 --> 00:07:25,645
You know, it's true.
176
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,046
Girls really do want
to marry their daddies.
177
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,118
Yeah.
178
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:32,121
Hello, girls!
GIRLS: Hi, Daddy.
179
00:07:32,122 --> 00:07:34,453
Who wants to go outside and
step on some ketchup packets?
180
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,225
BOTH: Yay!
181
00:07:36,226 --> 00:07:38,628
What is with
all the hot dogs lately?
182
00:07:38,629 --> 00:07:42,161
Yeah. I've seen you guys
eat one every day.
183
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,993
Well, you know, eating hot dogs
184
00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:46,696
is the most American
thing that you can do.
185
00:07:46,697 --> 00:07:47,767
Every time I take a bite,
186
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,740
I feel like I'm waving the flag.
187
00:07:50,741 --> 00:07:51,901
Let freedom ring.
188
00:07:51,902 --> 00:07:53,773
JIM: Mmm-hmm.
189
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:57,007
Yeah, well, when your
cholesterol gets to 300, sell.
190
00:07:58,749 --> 00:08:01,180
Oh, honey, I'm gonna need
to get into that storage space.
191
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,212
(CHOKES)
192
00:08:04,855 --> 00:08:06,956
Why, honey? What
is it that you need?
193
00:08:06,957 --> 00:08:08,988
Well, I'm doing an
exhibit of the kids' art
194
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,490
for Mrs. Reifschneider's
retirement party.
195
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,964
And you said I'd never
look at that stuff again.
196
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:17,126
That's the great thing
about you, honey.
197
00:08:17,127 --> 00:08:19,900
You remember every
frickin' thing I say.
198
00:08:21,171 --> 00:08:22,902
So give me the keys.
I'm gonna go down there.
199
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,173
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
200
00:08:24,174 --> 00:08:26,706
(LAUGHING)
Let me do it.
201
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,578
Oh, honey, that's so sweet,
but I want to go down
202
00:08:28,579 --> 00:08:29,739
and pick out some
of my favorites.
203
00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:32,042
Oh, what about
my favorites, Cheryl?
204
00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:40,850
I mean, uh, you know, I like our
children, too, and I like their artwork.
205
00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:42,521
And even though
you think I don't care,
206
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,055
I'm really gonna miss
Miss Redhouser.
207
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:46,796
Reifschneider.
208
00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:47,927
Reif... Yeah.
209
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,528
Honey, you know what?
210
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,701
If you feel that
strongly about it,
211
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:53,703
I think it's a great idea.
212
00:08:53,704 --> 00:08:55,234
Well, I also feel that strongly
about you and another woman...
213
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,637
No, Jim.
214
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,542
Come on, Andy.
215
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,118
Okay. We're gonna get it.
216
00:09:08,819 --> 00:09:10,650
Ooh! Ooh!
217
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:13,854
Oh, man. You are as the
French say, so le screwed.
218
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,827
Look, all we got to do is
go back to that dumpster
219
00:09:17,828 --> 00:09:18,988
and hope everything's
still there.
220
00:09:18,989 --> 00:09:20,660
What? No way!
221
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,963
Hey, I have a date
with that storage woman.
222
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,995
What if she sees me
crawling around a dumpster?
223
00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:29,870
I think I've established that
the A-dog does not roll that way.
224
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,608
What a mess!
225
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:41,911
I don't know if I've said it
for a while, but this sucks!
226
00:09:41,912 --> 00:09:43,113
You suck!
227
00:09:46,957 --> 00:09:48,618
Stop it! Stop it!
Just look!
228
00:09:48,619 --> 00:09:50,220
Will you just look?
229
00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:59,869
What are you doing, Andy?
What?
230
00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:01,931
What are you doing? That's
a banana in a garbage can!
231
00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:04,334
It's closed up.
It's perfectly fine.
232
00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,377
Mmm.
Give me some of that.
233
00:10:08,879 --> 00:10:10,609
This is pretty good.
It's fresh, too.
234
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,743
Wonder why they threw it out.
235
00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,745
Oh, oh, oh! What?
What? You find something?
236
00:10:15,746 --> 00:10:19,288
Did Ruby ever do a nice pencil-line
drawing of Alan Greenspan?
237
00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:21,290
No.
Oh.
238
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:24,623
Then it's just
The Wall Street Journal.
239
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,255
You know what?
This sucks!
240
00:10:26,256 --> 00:10:28,858
If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't
even get out of your house.
241
00:10:28,859 --> 00:10:30,159
Oh, really?
Yeah, really.
242
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,630
Really?
Yeah!
243
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,302
Oh, well, then let me
thank you. Here.
244
00:10:33,303 --> 00:10:34,664
Here, Jim.
Here's a gift.
245
00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:36,736
How about a nice
biohazard container?
246
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,367
Oh, Andy!
247
00:10:38,368 --> 00:10:39,909
For crying out loud, just
keep looking, will you?
248
00:10:39,910 --> 00:10:41,170
All right.
(SIREN WAILING)
249
00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:42,772
It's here. I know it.
We threw it in here.
250
00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:44,844
We've been looking
forever, Jim. Give it up!
251
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,776
Nothing's here!
Come on!
252
00:10:46,777 --> 00:10:47,977
(CRACKING)
253
00:10:47,978 --> 00:10:49,879
What's that? What? I
don't know. I'm looking.
254
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,320
Right there. Look. That's
Ruby's stuffed animal right there.
255
00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:53,923
Let me reach.
256
00:10:53,924 --> 00:10:56,085
It's moving! It's
moving! (SCREAMING)
257
00:10:56,086 --> 00:10:57,827
Get away! Get away!
Get off me!
258
00:10:57,828 --> 00:10:59,028
Get away from me!
259
00:10:59,029 --> 00:11:02,031
(REVERSE SIGNAL BEEPING)
260
00:11:02,032 --> 00:11:04,935
Please. Please tell me
that's your cell phone.
261
00:11:07,698 --> 00:11:09,068
Hey! Hey, no, no!
262
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,270
Wait! Right here!
263
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:12,302
Oh!
264
00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:14,674
(BOTH SHOUTING)
265
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,177
No!
266
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,850
(BOTH SCREAMING)
267
00:11:24,314 --> 00:11:25,786
(GROANING)
268
00:11:34,264 --> 00:11:39,698
All right, we got extra glue,
glitter, construction paper.
269
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,370
Yep.
(LAUGHING)
270
00:11:41,371 --> 00:11:43,173
The soundtrack to Top Gun.
271
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,775
What's that for?
272
00:11:45,776 --> 00:11:48,107
Hey, Jim, 99 cents.
273
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,239
Do you feel the need for speed?
274
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,311
Yes, I do, we got
to speed this up.
275
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,213
Cheryl's gonna be back in
an hour from her meeting.
276
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,484
Let's go.
Let's finish this.
277
00:11:55,485 --> 00:11:58,017
How much of this stuff of
Ruby's do we have to duplicate?
278
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,319
Just enough to put
one over on Cheryl.
279
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,321
You know the drill.
Sure, sure.
280
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:04,093
Throughout this, I want
to be called Maverick.
281
00:12:04,094 --> 00:12:05,495
Okay, Maverick.
282
00:12:06,456 --> 00:12:07,997
So, okay.
283
00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:09,759
So what do you want me
to do? Where should I start?
284
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,001
Well, I'm gonna do
some cotton ball clouds,
285
00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:14,063
and why don't you
draw something like a...
286
00:12:14,064 --> 00:12:15,404
Oh, I know what Ruby
does all the time.
287
00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:16,866
Family.
Do a family portrait.
288
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:18,737
I'm on it.
289
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,169
What if Cheryl doesn't
buy this, though?
290
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,510
Oh, come on.
291
00:12:21,511 --> 00:12:23,272
She never looks at this stuff.
292
00:12:23,273 --> 00:12:28,017
She wouldn't know the difference
between this and Vincent van Goat.
293
00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:29,919
Don't you mean Vincent van Gogh?
294
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,250
No, van Goat.
295
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,423
The goat at the state fair
who paints with his beard.
296
00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:36,385
Yet another reason
our state fair
297
00:12:36,386 --> 00:12:37,987
blows Wisconsin
out of the water.
298
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:40,459
That's right, Maverick.
299
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,994
(LAUGHING) All right,
a little here, a little there.
300
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,967
Okay. What do you think?
301
00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:53,342
Andy, I think that's perfect.
302
00:12:53,343 --> 00:12:56,275
If Ruby was a courtroom
artist! Come on!
303
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,447
This stuff has got to
look like a kid did it.
304
00:12:58,448 --> 00:12:59,879
It's got to look bad.
305
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,011
Well, Jim, I'm not
eight years old anymore.
306
00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:03,914
I got too much talent.
307
00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:07,287
Would it help
if I gave you a wedgie?
308
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,492
It might.
Let's give it a try.
309
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,425
(SCREAMING)
Okay. That's it.
310
00:13:16,426 --> 00:13:18,497
That's good. It's
working. Call me a sissy.
311
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,830
Sissy!
312
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,333
Tacky.
313
00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:25,836
Derivative.
314
00:13:26,837 --> 00:13:28,909
Cats have tails in my world.
315
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,480
You told me we were going
316
00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:33,442
to some fancy art opening.
317
00:13:33,443 --> 00:13:37,887
Two, three, ten more lies
like this, and we're through!
318
00:13:37,888 --> 00:13:39,889
Come on, if I took you
to a real opening,
319
00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:42,451
some trendy artist would
steal you away from me.
320
00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:43,924
Hmm. You got that right.
321
00:13:45,555 --> 00:13:47,857
I'm gonna go get us
some punch and cookies.
322
00:13:47,858 --> 00:13:50,460
I have a feeling we're going
to need our energy later.
323
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,164
Oh, right. Thirsty.
324
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:58,208
Suggested donations
are a dollar.
325
00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:02,872
There you go.
Thank you.
326
00:14:02,873 --> 00:14:03,943
You don't work here, do you?
327
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:04,945
No.
328
00:14:07,117 --> 00:14:08,248
Hey...
329
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,227
Hey, Gracie.
So, Bobby Simmons here?
330
00:14:18,228 --> 00:14:20,930
Yeah, that's him
with his mom and dad.
331
00:14:20,931 --> 00:14:22,431
Oh, Gracie, you don't
want to date a guy
332
00:14:22,432 --> 00:14:25,364
who still lives with
his parents. Come on.
333
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,537
Hey, is it working? Are we
fooling them with the artwork?
334
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:30,239
Yeah, I heard someone
pass by and say
335
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,442
this was fourth
grade-level work.
336
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,274
Hey, guys.
337
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:38,047
Mrs. Reifschneider,
this is my brother Andy...
338
00:14:38,048 --> 00:14:39,448
Hello.
And you know Jim.
339
00:14:39,449 --> 00:14:41,010
Hi, Mrs. Reifschneider.
340
00:14:41,011 --> 00:14:43,253
Oh, for God's sake, Jim, it's...
341
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,114
That's right.
342
00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:46,515
Thank you.
343
00:14:46,516 --> 00:14:50,159
Well, thank you, Cheryl,
for this lovely party.
344
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,662
And I must tell you that
Ruby's work really stands out.
345
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:54,994
Oh!
346
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,095
Well, thank you.
347
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,666
Yes, uh, you're too kind.
348
00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,969
(ALL CHUCKLING)
349
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:02,932
What do you think of the
rainbow here? Pretty slick, huh?
350
00:15:02,933 --> 00:15:04,333
Well, it's wonderful.
351
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,336
Yeah, well, I much prefer
the dog under the tree.
352
00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:10,940
I think it's far superior to
some average rainbow.
353
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:12,942
Yeah, well, look at the
clouds, though. Look at that.
354
00:15:12,943 --> 00:15:14,113
They look really real.
355
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,284
That's very hard to do.
356
00:15:15,285 --> 00:15:16,686
You're a hack.
Shut up!
357
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,050
What difference does it
make? It's all Ruby's work.
358
00:15:21,051 --> 00:15:22,052
She wishes.
359
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:25,354
Well, Mrs. Reifschneider,
360
00:15:25,355 --> 00:15:27,356
we are going to
miss you so much.
361
00:15:27,357 --> 00:15:30,699
Oh, aren't you sweet?
362
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,563
But I'm not going to
miss this snake pit.
363
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,569
What a bunch
of backstabbing S-O-Bs.
364
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,675
Oh!
365
00:15:46,676 --> 00:15:48,347
Isn't that precious?
366
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,180
Yeah, precious, isn't it?
367
00:15:51,181 --> 00:15:52,481
Yeah, aren't you glad
I didn't let you
368
00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:54,423
get rid of all these
beautiful memories?
369
00:15:54,424 --> 00:15:57,256
(LAUGHS)
Come on, Cheryl.
370
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,588
I mean, if Ruby's
name wasn't on this,
371
00:15:59,589 --> 00:16:01,060
nobody would know it was hers.
372
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,532
Oh, please.
A mother knows.
373
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,434
Right here.
374
00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:07,196
A mother knows?
Yes.
375
00:16:07,197 --> 00:16:08,567
Really?
Really.
376
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:12,471
Well, then I wonder if
Mommy has a clear memory
377
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,304
of when Ruby did
this little horse.
378
00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:17,746
Of course I do.
Kindergarten.
379
00:16:17,747 --> 00:16:21,050
Oh. Well,
how about this tree?
380
00:16:21,051 --> 00:16:22,651
Ah, that tree.
381
00:16:22,652 --> 00:16:25,114
It was spring, and Ruby went out
382
00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:27,156
and drew the tree
in the backyard.
383
00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:29,158
Oh, Cheryl.
384
00:16:29,159 --> 00:16:31,190
You have some kind of memory.
385
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:34,223
I know. That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
386
00:16:34,224 --> 00:16:36,665
Each one of these
is a memory for me.
387
00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:39,498
And, Jim, if you paid
a little more attention,
388
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,271
they'd be memories for you, too.
389
00:16:42,272 --> 00:16:45,134
Honestly, I feel a
little sorry for you.
390
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:46,605
You feel sorry for me?
391
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,037
I do.
392
00:16:48,038 --> 00:16:50,279
You know what? Honestly,
I feel a little sorry for you.
393
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,641
Why? Because
you think all this stuff
394
00:16:52,642 --> 00:16:54,443
is your daughter's
precious artwork.
395
00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:56,045
You know what?
396
00:16:56,046 --> 00:16:58,717
Andy and I threw this
together last night! Ha!
397
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,119
What?
Yeah.
398
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,690
I didn't rent
that storage space.
399
00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,592
We just threw it all out.
400
00:17:03,593 --> 00:17:05,124
You didn't!
Yes!
401
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,526
And we did all this
by ourselves,
402
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,158
and you couldn't tell
the difference.
403
00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:10,459
You are unbelievable!
404
00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:13,232
You threw Ruby's stuff
away without asking me?
405
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,504
Threw it all away.
Absolutely. Every bit.
406
00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:17,306
There's not one popsicle stick,
407
00:17:17,307 --> 00:17:19,568
not one painted
piece of macaroni.
408
00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:21,411
You threw out my
artwork? (CHERYL GASPS)
409
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,314
Ruby...
410
00:17:26,516 --> 00:17:29,248
So, uh, you want to
see a movie later?
411
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,819
Is it playing at your place?
412
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:32,821
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, baby.
413
00:17:32,822 --> 00:17:35,555
As long as it's not
Gone in 60 Seconds.
414
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,332
Oh, honey...
415
00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:47,737
I am so sorry
that Daddy did that.
416
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,670
Mommy didn't know
anything about it, baby.
417
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:56,105
I am just as sad and
upset as I know you are.
418
00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:58,107
Okay, okay, okay, okay,
my turn, my turn.
419
00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:00,110
Come on, come on, come on.
420
00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:03,313
Hey, Ruby toons.
421
00:18:04,454 --> 00:18:06,586
Why'd you throw it out?
Did you hate it?
422
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,121
No, Ruby, I don't
hate your artwork.
423
00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:14,223
Actually, I love your artwork.
424
00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:17,196
There was so much good stuff,
we couldn't keep it all.
425
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,097
I did make some
good stuff, didn't I?
426
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,469
Yes, you did.
427
00:18:20,470 --> 00:18:23,803
And it is so sad
that it's all gone.
428
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,880
You know what? It is
sad that it's all gone.
429
00:18:31,881 --> 00:18:35,214
But the good news is
is you can paint some more.
430
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,345
That's true.
431
00:18:36,346 --> 00:18:38,688
Yeah, and you can paint
really good stuff.
432
00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:41,521
Hey, cool!
Yeah!
433
00:18:44,894 --> 00:18:46,495
Way to go, Jim.
434
00:18:46,496 --> 00:18:48,227
She's devastated.
435
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,698
Cheryl, please.
436
00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:52,361
The only person that's
upset about this is you.
437
00:18:52,362 --> 00:18:53,632
Ruby's not upset.
438
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,703
No one else can tell
the difference.
439
00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:56,765
I am upset for the kids.
440
00:18:56,766 --> 00:18:58,307
How do you think they'd feel
441
00:18:58,308 --> 00:19:00,209
if they saw their artwork
in the garbage?
442
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:03,872
Cheryl, that's why I
threw it away across town.
443
00:19:03,873 --> 00:19:05,414
I mean, if they're
in that neighborhood,
444
00:19:05,415 --> 00:19:07,576
believe me, they're not trying
to score on their old artwork.
445
00:19:07,577 --> 00:19:09,418
(GASPS)
446
00:19:09,419 --> 00:19:12,151
My baby's artwork is
hanging up in a crack house?
447
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,784
Oh, good, I'm so glad
you took it that way.
448
00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:17,256
I was so afraid you were
going to be overdramatic!
449
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,529
Oh!
Jim, you don't get it.
450
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:23,592
Ruby made that blarney
stone when she was five.
451
00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:26,435
Now she's eight. She
will never be five again.
452
00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:27,696
You're right.
453
00:19:27,697 --> 00:19:29,738
Or six. Or seven...
454
00:19:29,739 --> 00:19:32,271
Oh, God, don't say that!
455
00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,472
All right, you're right.
456
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:35,844
We have to preserve
every moment!
457
00:19:35,845 --> 00:19:39,279
Jim! I feel like
I'm losing something.
458
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,911
Oh. Come on.
459
00:19:42,912 --> 00:19:44,183
Well.
460
00:19:44,814 --> 00:19:47,457
Look, Cheryl,
461
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,262
you don't have to hold
on to all their artwork.
462
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,963
You don't.
463
00:19:54,964 --> 00:19:57,326
Holding on to it is not going
to keep them from growing up.
464
00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:59,698
Oh, I know.
They're going to grow up.
465
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,331
You've got to make room
for some new memories.
466
00:20:02,332 --> 00:20:05,534
Well, I am not throwing
everything away, Jim.
467
00:20:05,535 --> 00:20:07,837
I mean, some of that
stuff really is special.
468
00:20:08,978 --> 00:20:10,310
(SIGHS)
469
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,312
Well, then I'll tell you what.
470
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,984
If it's special, then
let's treat it that way.
471
00:20:15,985 --> 00:20:18,387
How about this?
Once a year,
472
00:20:18,388 --> 00:20:20,419
we pick a couple pieces,
473
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,722
and we hang them up
in the hallway upstairs.
474
00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:26,995
Okay.
You like that?
475
00:20:26,996 --> 00:20:28,327
Yeah.
(CHUCKLING)
476
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,928
We could frame them.
Uh-huh.
477
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:32,861
And you could do
some fancy lighting.
478
00:20:32,862 --> 00:20:35,465
And you could fix the
hinge in the garage door.
479
00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:38,937
Where did that come from?
480
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,739
Well, I've been asking
you to do it for months.
481
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,770
I thought I'd just slip it in.
482
00:20:41,771 --> 00:20:43,241
(LAUGHS)
483
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,014
Honey, if I fix the hinge,
then I might forget
484
00:20:46,015 --> 00:20:47,746
about the wobble
on the garage door.
485
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,349
I want everything to remind
me of that, and I'm gonna flip out!
486
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,880
Nice try! Fix it.
487
00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:54,453
(CHUCKLING)
488
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:57,326
All right. Come on,
let's go back in there.
489
00:20:57,327 --> 00:20:59,027
'Cause now that you know
I did that artwork,
490
00:20:59,028 --> 00:21:00,929
I want your honest opinion
491
00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:03,432
if mine's better than Andy's.
492
00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:05,394
Yeah, you know, I did have
my suspicions, though, honey,
493
00:21:05,395 --> 00:21:07,636
'cause that hand turkey looked
a little meaty to be Ruby's.
494
00:21:07,637 --> 00:21:08,868
(LAUGHING)
33235
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