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Hot in Cleveland is recorded
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in front of a live studio audience.
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Bob sent a gift from Canada.
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00:00:14,487 --> 00:00:18,823
Oh, my life is so good right now.
5
00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:22,076
Actually, all of our lives are
just about perfect right now.
6
00:00:22,128 --> 00:00:23,327
You're happy with Dane.
7
00:00:23,379 --> 00:00:25,663
Your HBO series is about to premiere.
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00:00:25,665 --> 00:00:26,664
Stop.
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00:00:26,666 --> 00:00:28,549
Don't tempt the evil eye.
10
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:30,051
What are you talking about?
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In Poland, my mother said,
"everything is perfect."
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The next morning, the Nazis invaded.
13
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Oh, God.
14
00:00:41,681 --> 00:00:44,131
And I got the worst pimple.
15
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It was right here.
16
00:00:47,136 --> 00:00:49,220
Literally ruin your day.
17
00:00:49,272 --> 00:00:51,555
Oh, I do love getting gifts.
18
00:00:51,690 --> 00:00:54,141
Bob is such a doll.
19
00:00:54,193 --> 00:00:56,977
Oh, my God.
20
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Bob is a doll.
21
00:01:01,483 --> 00:01:03,617
He had a doll made to look like himself?
22
00:01:03,652 --> 00:01:06,069
That is the most disturbing
thing I have ever seen,
23
00:01:06,071 --> 00:01:09,206
and I have been in a windstorm
with Donald Trump.
24
00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:16,963
There's a note.
25
00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:18,415
"My little detective,
26
00:01:18,417 --> 00:01:21,418
never has a heart been as full as mine."
27
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- Oh, that's sweet.
- Mm.
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It really is a unique, thoughtful...
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Ultimately creepy gift.
30
00:01:32,898 --> 00:01:35,599
Oh, little Bob hit his head.
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Don't give it a name.
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Oh, that's him now.
33
00:01:42,324 --> 00:01:43,857
Hey, Joy. Did you get my gift?
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I did.
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Have you undressed him yet?
36
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Not yet. Can't wait.
37
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What's wrong with your head?
38
00:01:52,668 --> 00:01:55,452
Oh, I... I banged it real bad.
39
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Just like little Bob.
40
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Actually, can you hang on a second?
41
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I'm just gonna run and get some ice.
42
00:02:03,345 --> 00:02:06,129
Wow, that is really weird.
43
00:02:06,131 --> 00:02:08,181
What if everything that happens
to little Bob
44
00:02:08,217 --> 00:02:12,519
happens to slightly larger Bob?
45
00:02:12,554 --> 00:02:14,554
Maybe it's a voodoo doll.
46
00:02:15,607 --> 00:02:18,558
There is no such thing as voodoo.
47
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If I twist the doll arm,
it's not like, you know...
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Ow!
49
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Bob, what happened? What's the matter?
50
00:02:25,451 --> 00:02:28,151
Oh, I don't know.
I just tweaked my shoulder.
51
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I'll call you back, okay?
52
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Don't say it.
53
00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:36,743
Well, you got to admit,
that's kind of weird.
54
00:02:36,795 --> 00:02:40,080
- Voodoo.
- Voodoo.
55
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:42,249
Oh. Oh, that's got to be Dane.
56
00:02:42,301 --> 00:02:43,750
Listen, guys, just so you know,
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00:02:43,802 --> 00:02:47,721
he got laid off this morning,
so he might be a little fragile.
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00:02:47,756 --> 00:02:48,839
Hey, babe.
59
00:02:48,841 --> 00:02:51,591
Hi, honey.
60
00:02:51,643 --> 00:02:52,726
Something wrong?
61
00:02:52,761 --> 00:02:55,178
Well, not with me, but you lost your job.
62
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,013
I'm fine.
63
00:02:57,065 --> 00:03:00,016
Hit a bucket of balls,
listened to some Foo Fighters.
64
00:03:00,068 --> 00:03:03,236
I'm over it.
65
00:03:03,272 --> 00:03:06,022
Wouldn't say no to a cold beer though.
66
00:03:06,024 --> 00:03:08,241
Hello, ladies.
67
00:03:08,277 --> 00:03:09,776
Little Bob.
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00:03:12,748 --> 00:03:15,031
I'm so sorry you got fired.
69
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:17,417
Do you want to talk about
how you're feeling?
70
00:03:17,453 --> 00:03:18,618
Not really.
71
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:19,953
Do you want to talk about
72
00:03:20,005 --> 00:03:22,589
why you don't want to
talk about your feelings?
73
00:03:22,624 --> 00:03:23,874
Not really.
74
00:03:23,926 --> 00:03:25,041
Why?
75
00:03:25,043 --> 00:03:28,044
'Cause I'm a guy.
76
00:03:28,096 --> 00:03:29,880
Well, don't you think the world
would be better
77
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if guys talked about their feelings?
78
00:03:32,134 --> 00:03:35,218
Not really.
79
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:38,805
Well, I'm here for you. Mwah.
80
00:03:38,857 --> 00:03:41,107
Did you start smoking again?
81
00:03:41,143 --> 00:03:42,893
Maybe I'm a little stressed.
82
00:03:42,945 --> 00:03:44,144
Well, I think I can help.
83
00:03:44,196 --> 00:03:45,395
Joy stopped smoking a while ago.
84
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She has some nicotine patches upstairs.
85
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I'll get them for you.
86
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
87
00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:50,951
I'll go with you.
88
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We can have sex.
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Aren't you too upset to have sex?
90
00:03:54,122 --> 00:03:57,207
You say the cutest things.
91
00:04:00,045 --> 00:04:00,994
Ari!
92
00:04:01,046 --> 00:04:03,663
Victoria.
93
00:04:03,715 --> 00:04:05,465
What are you doing here?
94
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:08,084
You know why I'm a great agent?
95
00:04:08,086 --> 00:04:11,471
'Cause I'm the biggest bastard
in Hollywood.
96
00:04:11,507 --> 00:04:13,640
Luckily, I'm your bastard.
97
00:04:15,894 --> 00:04:17,844
Wait a minute.
98
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:19,980
If you flew all the way from LA,
99
00:04:20,015 --> 00:04:22,816
then you must have some big news
about my HBO show.
100
00:04:22,851 --> 00:04:25,101
I do. Huge news.
101
00:04:25,153 --> 00:04:26,770
So what is it?
102
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They're cutting you out of the show.
103
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Synced and corrected by oykubuyuk
www.addic7ed.com
104
00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:44,871
Why did they cut me from the show?
105
00:04:45,191 --> 00:04:46,607
Did they think my acting was bad?
106
00:04:46,659 --> 00:04:50,445
You're gonna laugh at this,
but they had no specific reason.
107
00:04:54,117 --> 00:04:55,700
Why would that make me laugh?
108
00:04:55,752 --> 00:04:59,253
Well, the guy who told me
had a funny accent.
109
00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:03,174
This is a disaster.
110
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:05,093
If they won't say why I was fired,
111
00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:08,262
then people will start making up
all sorts of crazy rumors...
112
00:05:08,298 --> 00:05:09,464
that I'm a diva,
113
00:05:09,466 --> 00:05:11,632
that I'm untalented, my career is over.
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They won't say those things.
115
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But don't check today's Variety.
116
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I need something right away
117
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to show people that I can still get work.
118
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Now, are there any options
out there for me?
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Are there any options?
120
00:05:26,449 --> 00:05:27,782
There are two:
121
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A low-budget picture shot in Romania
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or a play at a theater
right here in Cleveland.
123
00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:38,576
I'll take the movie.
124
00:05:38,628 --> 00:05:40,878
There is no movie.
125
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What?
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00:05:42,165 --> 00:05:44,715
I just wanted you to think
you had some options.
127
00:05:44,751 --> 00:05:47,251
I thought surely you'd take the play.
128
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,670
But local theater is what movie stars do
129
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when they can't get any work.
130
00:05:50,974 --> 00:05:54,425
Which is why you're perfect for this.
131
00:06:01,132 --> 00:06:03,749
Victoria, I know you think that
local theater is beneath you,
132
00:06:03,751 --> 00:06:05,417
but you'll be great in the play.
133
00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:06,885
Will I?
134
00:06:06,921 --> 00:06:09,922
The thing is, because HBO
isn't saying why they cut me,
135
00:06:09,924 --> 00:06:11,590
I don't know what to fix.
136
00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:14,843
Did I not delve deeply enough
into my character's backstory?
137
00:06:14,895 --> 00:06:17,563
Did I not make interesting enough choices?
138
00:06:17,598 --> 00:06:20,599
I have lost all faith
in my acting instincts.
139
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:25,104
Oh, you sweet thing,
everything you do is adorable.
140
00:06:25,156 --> 00:06:26,772
Oh, thank you, Elka.
141
00:06:26,774 --> 00:06:29,024
I was talking to the dog.
142
00:06:33,164 --> 00:06:34,113
Oh, look at him.
143
00:06:34,165 --> 00:06:37,666
He's snuggling him from behind.
144
00:06:37,702 --> 00:06:39,368
That's not snuggling.
145
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,286
Oh, no.
146
00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,955
- That is not right.
- No.
147
00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:45,174
It's a voodoo doll.
148
00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:49,511
That's probably happening to Bob right now.
149
00:06:51,632 --> 00:06:54,266
It is not a voodoo doll.
150
00:06:54,301 --> 00:06:58,137
It's just a really creepy doll
that my boyfriend gave me,
151
00:06:58,139 --> 00:07:00,689
so I can't get rid of it.
152
00:07:00,725 --> 00:07:03,776
I'd like to, but I can't.
153
00:07:03,811 --> 00:07:05,310
I'll do it.
154
00:07:05,312 --> 00:07:07,029
I know a kid's charity that
would probably like to take it.
155
00:07:07,064 --> 00:07:08,280
Mm. Anyway, I owe you one.
156
00:07:08,315 --> 00:07:10,482
I gave Dane a bunch
of your nicotine patches.
157
00:07:10,484 --> 00:07:13,202
Wait, those aren't nicotine patches.
158
00:07:13,237 --> 00:07:15,487
I got those from a friend in Sweden.
159
00:07:15,489 --> 00:07:18,657
They're a skin treatment that's
unapproved here in the States.
160
00:07:20,161 --> 00:07:21,827
Unapproved? W-what's in them?
161
00:07:21,829 --> 00:07:24,329
Really high doses of estrogen.
162
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:27,916
Estrogen?
163
00:07:27,968 --> 00:07:32,387
Oh, my God, did I just turn
my boyfriend into a woman?
164
00:07:34,175 --> 00:07:36,091
Hi, Dane. Ooh, white wine.
165
00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:37,092
Is that for me?
166
00:07:37,144 --> 00:07:41,146
No, I just felt like something crisp.
167
00:07:42,933 --> 00:07:45,851
Besides, I was feeling a bit bloated.
168
00:07:45,903 --> 00:07:47,519
Yeah. Uh...
169
00:07:47,571 --> 00:07:49,438
Look, Dane, there's something
I need to tell you
170
00:07:49,490 --> 00:07:50,439
about those patches you're wearing.
171
00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:52,574
The patches, right.
172
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,193
At first, I still wanted to smoke,
173
00:07:54,245 --> 00:07:57,696
so I used, like, five of them.
174
00:07:57,748 --> 00:07:59,865
- Five?
- Yeah.
175
00:07:59,867 --> 00:08:00,866
And it's weird.
176
00:08:00,868 --> 00:08:02,034
I stopped smoking,
177
00:08:02,086 --> 00:08:06,088
but I feel like I've had
an emotional awakening.
178
00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:08,257
Last night, I caught an episode
of Oprah's Master Class
179
00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:09,258
with Susan Sarandon.
180
00:08:09,293 --> 00:08:10,626
Oh, still gorgeous.
181
00:08:10,678 --> 00:08:13,212
Right?
182
00:08:13,214 --> 00:08:16,849
And she said things happen for a reason.
183
00:08:16,884 --> 00:08:19,802
And I thought,
"things do happen for a reason."
184
00:08:21,772 --> 00:08:25,224
Maybe that reason was for you
and I to grow closer.
185
00:08:25,276 --> 00:08:28,560
Anyway, you wanted to tell me
something about those patches?
186
00:08:28,612 --> 00:08:32,314
Just that if you've ran out,
I could get you some more.
187
00:08:35,653 --> 00:08:37,069
Let's welcome the brilliant
188
00:08:37,121 --> 00:08:39,571
Oscar and emmy award-winning actress,
189
00:08:39,623 --> 00:08:40,789
Victoria chase...
190
00:08:43,244 --> 00:08:46,411
Soon to be starring
in an upcoming HBO series.
191
00:08:47,748 --> 00:08:49,631
Okay, forget that last part.
192
00:08:51,752 --> 00:08:53,135
So let's get started, shall we?
193
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:54,136
Great.
194
00:08:54,171 --> 00:08:55,254
I was up all night
195
00:08:55,306 --> 00:08:56,805
working on my character's backstory.
196
00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:58,140
I think you're gonna like it.
197
00:08:58,175 --> 00:08:59,141
Terrific.
198
00:08:59,176 --> 00:09:01,760
Okay, places, everybody.
199
00:09:01,812 --> 00:09:03,929
"We open in a small roadside diner
200
00:09:03,931 --> 00:09:06,849
in Carson city, Nevada."
201
00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:08,517
'Ey there, 'andsome.
202
00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:10,519
Warm up that coffee for ya?
203
00:09:10,571 --> 00:09:13,238
Victoria, I'm gonna stop you.
204
00:09:13,274 --> 00:09:14,273
Interesting choice.
205
00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:15,741
Oh, it was, wasn't it?
206
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:18,443
You know, I... I get the sense
that my character
207
00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:20,662
feels like she's superior
to everyone around her,
208
00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:22,948
and so I thought,
"why not make her British?"
209
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000
Well, here's one reason I can think of.
210
00:09:26,287 --> 00:09:28,287
The play is about how she's lived in
211
00:09:28,339 --> 00:09:31,456
the same small Nevada town her whole life.
212
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,125
So maybe we could try it
without the accent?
213
00:09:33,177 --> 00:09:34,293
Of course. Of course. Bad choice.
214
00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:36,628
Let me just give you another one.
215
00:09:38,465 --> 00:09:41,683
Hey, handsome. Warm up that coffee for ya?
216
00:09:48,142 --> 00:09:50,392
Take five, everybody.
217
00:09:51,979 --> 00:09:54,196
Well, it was a little rocky at first,
218
00:09:54,231 --> 00:09:57,232
but I finally found
the perfect backstory and accent
219
00:09:57,284 --> 00:09:58,650
for my character.
220
00:09:58,702 --> 00:10:01,069
You didn't do that thing you
call a British accent, did you?
221
00:10:01,121 --> 00:10:02,487
Hey.
222
00:10:02,489 --> 00:10:04,206
Me British accent 'appens to be
223
00:10:04,241 --> 00:10:07,242
quite good indeed.
224
00:10:08,579 --> 00:10:12,497
I'd love to hear it one day.
225
00:10:12,499 --> 00:10:14,583
Well, I did it.
226
00:10:14,635 --> 00:10:16,835
By drugging my boyfriend with estrogen,
227
00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:20,088
I have created the perfect man.
228
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:22,424
He's empathetic, he wants to
talk about his feelings,
229
00:10:22,476 --> 00:10:24,009
and he even noticed my new bag.
230
00:10:24,011 --> 00:10:25,010
What?
231
00:10:25,012 --> 00:10:27,062
No, sometimes they notice shoes,
232
00:10:27,097 --> 00:10:28,597
but never the bag.
233
00:10:31,652 --> 00:10:32,901
Elka, what's wrong?
234
00:10:32,937 --> 00:10:35,654
Oh, George Clooney is upset.
235
00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:39,191
His little Bob doll is missing.
236
00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:41,576
I told you I was gonna give it
to a kids charity.
237
00:10:41,612 --> 00:10:45,530
And I told you
you were messing with voodoo.
238
00:10:45,582 --> 00:10:48,083
Well, technically,
if the voodoo was working,
239
00:10:48,118 --> 00:10:50,085
then real Bob would be missing too.
240
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,037
Bob's not missing.
241
00:10:52,089 --> 00:10:55,040
Although he never did call me back.
242
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:59,011
Oh, no, five texts from Bob's brother.
243
00:10:59,046 --> 00:11:00,345
Bob's gone missing.
244
00:11:03,904 --> 00:11:05,404
He went maple tree tapping in the woods
245
00:11:05,406 --> 00:11:06,989
and hasn't come back.
246
00:11:07,706 --> 00:11:12,458
They found his little bucket, but no Bob.
247
00:11:12,494 --> 00:11:13,493
Oh, God.
248
00:11:13,545 --> 00:11:14,994
What if the voodoo is real?
249
00:11:15,046 --> 00:11:16,246
I've got to get that doll back.
250
00:11:16,298 --> 00:11:18,798
Melanie, what kids charity
did you give it to?
251
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:21,134
I... I kind of threw it in the trash.
252
00:11:21,169 --> 00:11:23,303
What? How could you?
253
00:11:23,338 --> 00:11:25,255
You said you were gonna give it
to a kids charity.
254
00:11:25,307 --> 00:11:26,806
I lied.
255
00:11:26,842 --> 00:11:29,976
Who wants a doll that looks like
a lumpy middle-aged man?
256
00:11:32,814 --> 00:11:33,930
They still haven't found Bob.
257
00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:35,982
We have got to find that doll.
258
00:11:36,017 --> 00:11:37,600
But they picked up the trash today.
259
00:11:37,652 --> 00:11:38,651
It could be anywhere.
260
00:11:38,687 --> 00:11:40,353
I'll find it.
261
00:11:40,405 --> 00:11:41,738
I'm the mayor.
262
00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:44,991
I'm the boss of every
garbage truck in Cleveland.
263
00:11:45,026 --> 00:11:46,743
Wow, that's right.
264
00:11:46,778 --> 00:11:48,161
You spend so much time
265
00:11:48,196 --> 00:11:49,946
hanging around here with us, drinking,
266
00:11:49,948 --> 00:11:53,166
I forget you're the mayor
of a major metropolitan city.
267
00:11:53,201 --> 00:11:57,170
I don't put in a full day.
268
00:11:57,205 --> 00:11:59,622
That's what makes me relatable.
269
00:11:59,674 --> 00:12:02,175
Let's make some calls.
270
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,133
Ari. Is something wrong?
271
00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:14,387
No, I just wanted to ask you
how the play was going.
272
00:12:14,439 --> 00:12:16,689
Oh, great.
273
00:12:16,725 --> 00:12:19,976
No, I think they really like
the choices I'm making.
274
00:12:19,978 --> 00:12:23,563
That's one way of looking at it.
275
00:12:23,615 --> 00:12:27,984
They other way is, they hate
all the choices you're making.
276
00:12:28,036 --> 00:12:32,538
That's actually the way to look at it.
277
00:12:32,574 --> 00:12:35,658
This HBO thing really threw me.
278
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,161
My instincts are gone.
279
00:12:38,163 --> 00:12:39,662
I don't think I can do this play.
280
00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:41,414
Just tell them I'm sick or something.
281
00:12:41,466 --> 00:12:43,216
All right, I'll tell them.
282
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:44,717
That's my job.
283
00:12:44,753 --> 00:12:47,670
I got to get out of this business.
284
00:12:47,672 --> 00:12:51,057
Hello, young handsome fellow.
285
00:12:51,092 --> 00:12:53,509
Got representation?
286
00:12:53,561 --> 00:12:56,562
I'm back in the business.
287
00:12:56,598 --> 00:12:59,232
Hey, you do look very handsome.
288
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:00,683
No, I don't.
289
00:13:00,735 --> 00:13:02,602
I put on, like, five pounds in two days.
290
00:13:02,654 --> 00:13:04,404
Nothing fits. Nothing looks good.
291
00:13:07,692 --> 00:13:11,277
I'm such a cow.
292
00:13:11,329 --> 00:13:13,196
Victoria?
293
00:13:13,198 --> 00:13:14,530
What's wrong?
294
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:16,950
Nothing.
295
00:13:17,002 --> 00:13:18,534
It doesn't sound like nothing.
296
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:21,587
Oh, I... I just quit my play.
297
00:13:23,124 --> 00:13:24,757
- Tell me everything.
- Well, I...
298
00:13:24,793 --> 00:13:26,709
but I made reservations at Dante's.
299
00:13:26,761 --> 00:13:29,595
Reservations can be changed, sweetheart.
300
00:13:29,631 --> 00:13:30,930
Victoria's upset.
301
00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:32,382
Oh, no. No, no.
302
00:13:32,434 --> 00:13:34,267
I don't want to spoil your evening.
303
00:13:34,302 --> 00:13:35,268
I...
304
00:13:35,303 --> 00:13:38,554
Victoria, we both just lost jobs,
305
00:13:38,606 --> 00:13:41,941
but that doesn't define who we are.
306
00:13:41,977 --> 00:13:43,226
Here's what you do.
307
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:47,030
You draw yourself a bath,
pour yourself a glass of wine,
308
00:13:47,065 --> 00:13:50,900
and make a list of everything
you love about yourself.
309
00:13:50,902 --> 00:13:54,704
I did it earlier today,
and it really works.
310
00:13:56,741 --> 00:13:58,408
Thank you, Dane.
311
00:13:58,410 --> 00:13:59,909
Aw, Dane.
312
00:13:59,961 --> 00:14:03,546
Honey, you are so sweet.
313
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:04,831
Listen, I got an idea.
314
00:14:04,883 --> 00:14:07,834
How 'bout we skip dinner
and, you know, fool around?
315
00:14:07,886 --> 00:14:09,419
What?
316
00:14:09,471 --> 00:14:10,887
How could you even think about sex
317
00:14:10,922 --> 00:14:14,841
when Victoria is so upset?
318
00:14:16,227 --> 00:14:17,560
Okay. Okay, fine.
319
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,845
Then we'll just... we'll cuddle.
320
00:14:18,897 --> 00:14:21,347
We'll just see what happens.
321
00:14:21,399 --> 00:14:25,184
Nothing will happen.
322
00:14:25,236 --> 00:14:26,185
Okay, that's it.
323
00:14:26,237 --> 00:14:27,603
Dane, I have something to tell you.
324
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:28,938
Those nicotine patches?
325
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:30,440
They're not really nicotine.
326
00:14:30,492 --> 00:14:32,825
They're estrogen.
327
00:14:32,861 --> 00:14:35,445
What? How could you?
328
00:14:35,447 --> 00:14:36,529
Oh, honey, don't be upset.
329
00:14:36,581 --> 00:14:39,165
Don't tell me how to feel.
330
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,867
Please don't be angry.
331
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,038
I'm not angry, I'm just...
332
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:46,873
I'm just hurt.
333
00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:48,624
Well, can I call you?
334
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,793
Don't call me.
335
00:14:50,795 --> 00:14:52,295
Don't text me.
336
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:54,630
It's over.
337
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:58,184
And don't watch me
while I'm walking out the door.
338
00:14:58,219 --> 00:14:59,218
My ass is huge.
339
00:15:10,882 --> 00:15:13,599
Thanks again for helping me
search for the Bob doll.
340
00:15:13,635 --> 00:15:14,735
They've sent the mounties out
looking for Bob,
341
00:15:14,819 --> 00:15:16,068
but so far, nothing.
342
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,903
Joy, I'm so sorry.
343
00:15:17,905 --> 00:15:19,572
Don't worry. We'll find it.
344
00:15:19,624 --> 00:15:22,291
By the science of voodoo,
when we find little Bob,
345
00:15:22,326 --> 00:15:24,627
big Bob will show up.
346
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:27,329
Are you sure this is
the quadrant our trash is in?
347
00:15:27,381 --> 00:15:29,165
Oh, it's ours.
348
00:15:29,217 --> 00:15:32,134
Look at all the wine bottles.
349
00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:35,754
Hey.
350
00:15:35,756 --> 00:15:37,423
My gold lam� shorts.
351
00:15:37,475 --> 00:15:38,757
How did these get in here?
352
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:41,143
Yes, how?
353
00:15:44,849 --> 00:15:48,100
Hey, Elka, this looks just like
the bowl I made for you
354
00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:49,602
from that ceramics class I took.
355
00:15:49,654 --> 00:15:51,153
Does it?
356
00:15:51,189 --> 00:15:54,773
There are two of those beauties?
357
00:15:57,278 --> 00:16:00,112
Oh. Oh, look at this.
358
00:16:00,164 --> 00:16:02,198
A coffee pot.
359
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,834
It's just like the one I used in the play.
360
00:16:04,869 --> 00:16:07,336
Oh, God, I really made a mess of that.
361
00:16:07,371 --> 00:16:09,455
I quit, and then I lied about quitting,
362
00:16:09,507 --> 00:16:12,208
and now I'm that person.
363
00:16:12,260 --> 00:16:14,210
Victoria, you lie all the time.
364
00:16:14,262 --> 00:16:15,628
And usually it makes me feel good,
365
00:16:15,630 --> 00:16:18,797
but not this time.
366
00:16:18,799 --> 00:16:20,966
And the director was so nice.
367
00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:22,434
He deserves to know the truth.
368
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:24,470
I don't want to be an awful person.
369
00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:26,438
Well, I am an awful person.
370
00:16:26,474 --> 00:16:28,390
Why am I trying to turn Dane into a woman?
371
00:16:28,442 --> 00:16:29,975
I don't need another girlfriend.
372
00:16:29,977 --> 00:16:31,810
I have you guys to notice my new bag
373
00:16:31,812 --> 00:16:33,979
or ask me how I'm feeling.
374
00:16:33,981 --> 00:16:37,533
I need to get laid.
375
00:16:38,786 --> 00:16:39,902
Oh, my God, look.
376
00:16:39,954 --> 00:16:42,321
It's little Bob.
377
00:16:42,373 --> 00:16:44,990
George Clooney found little Bob.
378
00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:47,326
Good boy.
379
00:16:47,378 --> 00:16:48,994
Thank you, George Clooney.
380
00:16:49,046 --> 00:16:51,163
Oh, come on. Come on.
381
00:16:51,215 --> 00:16:52,882
Oh, please make voodoo work.
382
00:16:52,917 --> 00:16:54,884
Please make voodoo work.
383
00:16:54,919 --> 00:16:56,335
Nothing.
384
00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:58,254
Why did I think this would work?
385
00:16:58,306 --> 00:17:00,055
What if Bob's hurt?
386
00:17:00,091 --> 00:17:01,640
What if he's stuck between two rocks
387
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:04,894
and has to eat his own arm off?
388
00:17:04,929 --> 00:17:07,012
It's only been a few hours.
389
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:10,182
He gets really hungry.
390
00:17:10,184 --> 00:17:11,183
Wait.
391
00:17:11,185 --> 00:17:13,485
I have no bars.
392
00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:15,070
What if they're trying to reach me?
393
00:17:15,106 --> 00:17:17,356
What can I do to get a better signal?
394
00:17:17,408 --> 00:17:20,276
Well, once I was up for a television pilot.
395
00:17:20,328 --> 00:17:24,363
It was a female MacGyver
called lady MacGyver.
396
00:17:24,365 --> 00:17:25,748
It was down to Markie Post and me.
397
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,116
Get to the point.
398
00:17:27,168 --> 00:17:29,251
Markie got it.
399
00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:31,337
No, you idiot, the signal.
400
00:17:31,372 --> 00:17:35,090
Oh, first we have to attach
the phone to a rod
401
00:17:35,126 --> 00:17:37,760
and then find a metallic conductor,
402
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,545
preferably something with gold filaments.
403
00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:41,630
My shorts.
404
00:17:48,889 --> 00:17:51,307
I got a message.
405
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:53,025
Bob's okay.
406
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:56,645
He was found by rescue dogs. Yay.
407
00:17:56,697 --> 00:17:58,697
Oh, Bob.
408
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,065
Wait a minute.
409
00:18:00,067 --> 00:18:02,868
There's something pinned to his heart.
410
00:18:02,903 --> 00:18:04,737
It's a necklace.
411
00:18:04,789 --> 00:18:06,872
So that's what the note meant.
412
00:18:06,907 --> 00:18:09,908
"Never has a heart been as full as mine."
413
00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:11,410
It is beautiful.
414
00:18:11,412 --> 00:18:12,745
I know.
415
00:18:12,797 --> 00:18:15,497
Not that I care about such things.
416
00:18:15,549 --> 00:18:19,084
The important thing is, Bob is safe.
417
00:18:19,086 --> 00:18:20,669
Diamonds!
418
00:18:24,643 --> 00:18:25,776
So that's why I quit.
419
00:18:25,828 --> 00:18:27,277
It wasn't because I was sick.
420
00:18:27,329 --> 00:18:29,947
It... it was because I was scared.
421
00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:32,165
I can't believe you were scared.
422
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:35,535
I was scared to work with you,
the great Victoria Chase.
423
00:18:36,672 --> 00:18:38,705
Don't be fooled by all my awards.
424
00:18:38,757 --> 00:18:40,123
I'm not even talking about that.
425
00:18:40,175 --> 00:18:43,961
Why not? I won a damn Oscar.
426
00:18:43,963 --> 00:18:47,848
A long time ago, we were
in acting class together.
427
00:18:49,768 --> 00:18:50,968
Oh, right. You...
428
00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:53,520
yeah, don't even pretend to remember me.
429
00:18:53,555 --> 00:18:55,689
I sat in the back,
and I never said anything,
430
00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:57,024
but I watched you.
431
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:59,142
Victoria, you were fearless.
432
00:18:59,194 --> 00:19:01,478
I was, wasn't I?
433
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,814
But I was young and stupid
with nothing to lose.
434
00:19:03,816 --> 00:19:05,148
What do you have to lose now?
435
00:19:05,150 --> 00:19:08,485
Everything. I am an Oscar winner.
436
00:19:08,487 --> 00:19:10,370
Well, you can't lose that.
437
00:19:10,406 --> 00:19:11,788
If a meteor fell on us right now,
438
00:19:11,824 --> 00:19:13,156
the headline would read,
439
00:19:13,208 --> 00:19:16,493
"Oscar winner Victoria Chase
killed in fiery explosion."
440
00:19:16,495 --> 00:19:20,330
Oh, I do like the sound of that.
441
00:19:20,332 --> 00:19:22,215
It wouldn't say, "Victoria Chase",
442
00:19:22,251 --> 00:19:24,968
who got cut from some dopey HBO show."
443
00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:27,337
No, you're right. That show was dopey.
444
00:19:27,389 --> 00:19:30,007
I mean, why am I letting that get me down?
445
00:19:30,059 --> 00:19:33,810
I want to be that actress that
you remember from back then.
446
00:19:33,846 --> 00:19:36,396
Yeah, stupid and fearless.
447
00:19:36,432 --> 00:19:38,598
Okay, you just give me another chance,
448
00:19:38,651 --> 00:19:43,020
and I think I could be that stupid again.
449
00:19:43,022 --> 00:19:45,439
I know you can.
450
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,581
Dane. Hi. What are you doing here?
451
00:19:54,616 --> 00:19:57,117
I came here because you're here.
452
00:19:57,169 --> 00:19:59,953
But you broke up with me three days ago.
453
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:03,540
Why was that again?
454
00:20:03,592 --> 00:20:05,258
Because I drugged you with female hormones
455
00:20:05,294 --> 00:20:08,628
and then lied about it.
456
00:20:08,681 --> 00:20:11,531
Stuff happens.
457
00:20:11,617 --> 00:20:13,252
Don't worry, it's out of my system now.
458
00:20:14,019 --> 00:20:16,521
Wow, great. Great.
459
00:20:16,888 --> 00:20:18,662
Listen, I know I did wrong and,
460
00:20:18,687 --> 00:20:20,783
we really should talk about it. Because,
461
00:20:21,093 --> 00:20:23,867
if you can't have trust in
a relationship, and I...
462
00:20:23,963 --> 00:20:25,031
Oh my God.
463
00:20:25,131 --> 00:20:26,831
- What?
- You weren't even listening to me.
464
00:20:27,133 --> 00:20:28,300
You were staring at my chest.
465
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:30,569
You're back!
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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