All language subtitles for English_Teacher_S02E01.

[♪ "Manic Monday" playing]

No.

No, don't go fast.

♪ Six o'clock already... ♪

Evan. Baby, no "rushie."

We talked about this.
No stress.
No stress. It's all good.

-Kiss. Long kiss. Good.
-I love you.

If you guys are doing
a coffee run,
will you get me a banana mocha?

Go back to bed, Daniel.

I mean,
how much longer is he staying?

He's, like, homeless right now.
Just give him a break.

Well, why doesn't he just stay
at your house?

I'm not letting him stay
at mine. He's a literal thief.

Hey, baby, everything's good.

-You're an amazing guy.
-Yes.

-You're an amazing boyfriend.
-Yes.

-We all love you.
Have a great day.
-Okay. I love you. Bye.

-You used to hate that guy.
-Hey.

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ 'Cause that's my fun day ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ My "I don't have to run"
Day ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ It's just another
Manic Monday ♪

♪ Have to catch... ♪

-[Irish accent]
Top of the morning to ya.
-Good morning, Ireland.

You got lube on your shoe.

I have lube on my shoe?
How does that make sense?

-Evan,
we need to talk about the play.
-No.

-Hey, Rick.
-Hey, what's up, player?

Hey, donate to my GoFundMe.
I'm trying to go to this
male entrepreneur trip in Bali.

No. Rick, we make
the same amount of money.

-I make more than you, dude.
-Good. Donate to yourself.

Hello. Settle. Settle.
Good morning.
Where did we leave off?

Inferno page 52.

You're late, sir.

I'm not late, Chelsea.

I respect that opinion.

[exhales slowly] So...

- Angels in America , Evan?
- Angels in America , yes.

You couldn't have picked
a less controversial play?

I didn't pick it.
The kids picked it.

I think it's great
that they're engaging
in such important work.

-You should think
it's great too.
-That's great,

but you couldn't have helped
pick a play that doesn't have
three lightning rods?

-Three.
-What is that?

You learned that
from a new book
about being a principal?

-No, no.
-What are lightning rods?

Lightning rods are things
that attract controversy.

-Uh-huh.
-The play has sexuality.
It has religion.

-Uh-huh.
-And, uh, and...

And dirty words,
I guess, right?

Just think about...
think about Seussical .

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, it makes me smile
just saying it.

Seussical the Musical .
Seussical the Musical .

-That's your pitch?
-But think about it.
But think about it.

-It's up to you.
It's up to you.
-Grant, this is simple.

You're the boss. You want me
to tell the kids we're
not doing Angels in America.

-I'm gonna tell them you said--
-No.

I'm not gonna be the principal
censoring kids'
free expression.

Then the local news does
a whole story,
and I'm the bad guy.

Why does everyone always think
the news is coming
to our school?

You just take care of it, Evan.
I trust you
and your capable hands.

You can do this.
You can do this.

-You trust me? Great.
-You can do this. But just...

But just one more thought.
One more thought.

Our Town.

-[crunching]
-[students chattering]

-You guys sound like horses.
-What?

Grant's pissed
that the kids are doing
Angels in America .

Angels in America.
That's like RENT ?

In that they're both plays,
sure.

I get RENT confused
with season two of Real World .

-Oh, my God.
-Do you?

-Which one has Pedro?
-Evan, I hate to side
with the brass here,

buddy, but I see Grant's point.

You can't do Angels in America
with high school kids.

-You kidding me?
-You know Angels in America?

-I'm shocked.
-Damn right I do.

I watched the HBO miniseries,
dude. I'll watch
anything Pacino's in.

-Same.
-I didn't pick it.
The kids picked it.

I think it's cool.
It's like punk rock.

You're talking about AIDS.
Too mature.

One cannot be sure,

but there is a distinct feeling
I have that this is homophobia.

An epidemic
that nearly wiped out my people

is too mature to talk about,
interesting.

No, it'll
overdevelop their brains, man.

-Wait, this reminds me,
what's RSV?
-It's like a coughing thing.

-Shit. My accountant has RSV.
-You have
a dedicated accountant?

You're a teacher. Why don't you
just use TurboTax?

Well, I fucking will be doing
TurboTax this year.

-My accountant has RSV.
-It's not terminal.

-It's not terminal yet.
-I'm just saying,

I don't think
you should let the kids
put on a play about a gay STD.

-It's not a gay STD.
-No, hear me out.

-Can we just be
really clear about that?
-You know I am not a homophobe.

You know I watch gay shit
all the time. He knows this.

You watch gay shit
all the time?

I Now Pronounce You
Chuck & Larry,

Philadelphia , uh, Cast Away .

That's not gay shit.

-He never fucked the ball.
-I think he did.

Why would he fuck the ball
when he could fuck sand?

The kids want to do the play.
I'm letting them do it

because they have the right
to express themselves
through art.

-Freedom of speech.
-[Gwen] What are you gonna say
about that?

-Freedom of speech.
-Freedom of speech.

Freedom of speech.

Okay.

[monotone voice] "I feel
that something's going to give.

It's 1985..."

-[yawns]
-"...15 years
till the third millennium.

Maybe Christ will come again."

I mean, Mr. Marquez,
I'm having a really hard time
connecting to this material.

What do you mean by that?
Where did you learn
that expression?

I mean,
this stuff all happened,
like, 90 years ago.

Yeah, weren't these people,
like, Titanic ?

-What?
-Nobody cares about this stuff.

-This feels
like a cartoon or something.
- SpongeBob.

It doesn't feel like a cartoon.
I mean,
you guys picked to play.

Yeah, because we thought
it was gonna be like punk rock,

and the characters in it
were vibey.

We didn't know
it was literally about
having AIDS in the '80s.

The "AIDSies."

This play, like most art,
is about the deep pain
of human relationships.

-Yeah, but we don't relate
to any of that.
-Why?

Because none of that
has ever happened to us.

-Yeah.
-I mean,
when you act in a play,

it doesn't have
to have happened to you.

Everything's not a documentary.

Why didn't the gay guys
just stop having sex?

Wouldn't that have solved
the problem?

That's not possible
for those people.

-No offense, queer.
-Thanks, Chelsea. That's great.

You have to understand,
they didn't know what AIDS was.

They didn't know
where it came from.

And there was so much fear

and so much disinformation.
I mean, imagine.

Like with COVID?

No, no, no, not like COVID.

AIDS had stigma attached to it,
and nobody knew
who was gonna get it next.

People didn't know
if everybody was gonna get it,

-if it was gonna
take over the world.
-Yeah, like with COVID.

Not like COVID, no.

But sure, if it helps you
wrap your head around it
a little better, then yes.

Maybe those early days of AIDS
did feel a little bit

like those early days of COVID.

So why don't we just make
the play about COVID?

-That's a good idea.
-[chuckles] Yeah.

Yeah, but you can't just change
what a play is about.

This play is about
what this play is about.

You can do anything you want
if you set your mind to it.

-What?
-The fact is

we went through
a global pandemic.

It affected all our lives.

They made us go to school
at home.
That doesn't even make sense.

And you're not gonna let us do
a play about that?

I'm not not letting you.

This is a thing
you just made up
two minutes ago.

Yeah, screw Angels in America .
Let's do COVID in America .

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah,
that'll be a good-ass play.

How do you guys do this?

How do you turn
these things on me so fast?

-Ugh! Jesus.
-Nice.

The kids, they just don't think
AIDS was serious.

Or worse,
they think it was serious
and they don't give a shit.

They all think it's, like,
an STD.

AIDS was undeniably an STD.

Yes, AIDS is an STD,
technically. I'm saying...

Hello, this is Daniel.
I'm sorry,
I can't talk right now.

I'm with family and friends.
Let me call you after dinner.

All right, love you. Sorry.

-It was spam.
-[sighs]

AIDS was a cultural moment
in the gay community
specifically.

It was killing huge amounts
of gay men.

And these kids' reactions to it
feel very kind of like...

I don't know,
don't make me say homophobic.

Okay, put a dollar in the
Evan-thinks-
everything-is-homophobic jar.

Well, a lot of things
are homophobic, Malcolm.

But, like, these kids
obviously relate more to COVID

because, low-key, it is kind of
the AIDS of the new generation.

It is, like,
the same in so many ways.

The fear. The lifestyle shift.
Like, everything.

Not to mention, like,
a lot of gay guys
died of COVID too

'cause they didn't go by
the quarantine rules.

-Yes!
-If they wanna do a play
about COVID,

let them do a play about COVID.

Like, what's the harm here?

The point
I'm trying to make is,
AIDS wasn't anybody's fault.

Okay, COVID wasn't
anyone's fault either,

unless you wanna blame
a cute little bat.

Listen, I'm on the kids' side
on this one.

And I wanna see
that shitty-ass play
that they write.

-It sounds really funny.
-Mmm.

I have to go to work.
Let's table this.

We're gonna finish
this conversation later.

[lowered voice] He has work?
Isn't he drunk right now?

Yeah, he's in a blackout,
but he works at a restaurant.
It's fine.

[school bell ringing]

[ ♪ "Don't Bring Me Down"
playing]

-What's this?
- COVID in America.

-See you tonight at rehearsal,
biatch.
-[Jeff whoops]

Didn't mean to call you biatch.
I'm sorry,
that was disrespectful.

That's actually our only copy
right now, so...

Yeah, we need that back.
I haven't gone to Kinko's yet.

[Jeff] See you tonight.

♪ Don't bring me down ♪

They've been rehearsing
this thing for two days now,
and it's a disaster.

I am all about the kids
putting on a play about COVID,

as long as it tells
the real story of COVID.

And what is the real story
of COVID, Markie?

That it was a global cover-up
of a lab leak,

which didn't actually happen
in Wuhan.
It happened in Chengdu.

Just come and watch
some of the rehearsals,

because this thing is turning
into such a shit show.

I've seen some of it.
I've been working
with the girls all morning.

-I'm doing the choreography.
-The choreography for what?

For the play.
It's a musical now.

I got...
I got an extra if you want.

Two, three, four.

[off-key] ♪ Fauci! ♪

♪ Fauci! ♪

-Good. Yeah. Um...
-This is a disaster.

Look, man,
you can't preach about being

behind the idea of freedom
of artistic expression

and then get mad
when it actually takes place.

This is too much expression.
What they're expressing is
insane.

-Five, six, seven, eight,
and step.
-[students harmonizing]

Every morning,
I would log into my Zoom.
I was in the sixth grade.

I would turn off my screen
and I would cry.

She would cry.

This is awful.

For the record,
this is as good or as bad
as any play I have ever seen.

I think theater
might just be this.

-That might be
the best point you've made.
-[Gwen] Here's the thing.

You have to spot
with these turns

because if you don't,
you're gonna fall.

So just don't get...

dizzy. All right?

Let's try it again.
Five, six, seven, eight.

[students]
I am the virus. I am the virus.

-Jesus.
-I am the virus.

-Doesn't it look
like the virus?
-I am the virus.

I am the virus.

And so, the metal detector
in the second entrance
isn't working,

so, you know,
bring metals if you want.

No one else say anything...
Goodbye.

Grant, wait. We need to get
this play canceled.

-We're not doing this now,
Evan.
-I'm telling you,

the kids are doing something
they're gonna regret.

Then make them change it.

I can't make them change it.
It needs to come from you,
okay?

They said the original
Angels in America , they think
it's not "punk rock."

They think it's not "cool"
to do a play
about "AIDS" anymore.

-Where's the lie?
-You're worried
about the local news.

The local news is
gonna find out that we're
doing this play about COVID,

and we're gonna be
the laughingstock
of the entire district.

-Oh, people love COVID!
-People don't love COVID.

The Zoom calls,
the social distancing,
the sourdough bread.

The sourdough bread was
bussin'.

Remember not having FOMO
for the first three months
of COVID? It was blissful.

Somebody's gonna film
this performance,
and then it's gonna go online

and it's gonna haunt these kids
for the rest of their lives.

It's a good lesson for you,
Evan.
You've opened up Pandora's box,

and now you have to
fight your way through it.

I'm not helping you for once.

Shit, I'm helping.
I'm doing tech.

How is everybody slowly getting
involved in this production?

I'm selling snacks and merch
on show night.

-Who are you?
-Eric.

That's Eric.
Eric from the Bronx.

-You work here?
-I was just out
for a little bit,

-but I'm back, dude.
-He was in the Bronx
visiting his sister.

The play is an excellent
fundraising opportunity, Evan.

The show must go on.

If I can just referee here,
guys, seriously.

I think it's a good thing

to discuss the repercussions
of this so-called vaccine

through artistic expression.

Personally, I don't care
what he's saying
about the vaccine,

but the songs are so cute.
And the dancing.

Don't you like
when they do that?

Thank you for running this
by me. Approved.

Dismissed,
dismissed, dismissed.

-[loud whirring]
-Guys. Let me have
your attention, please.

I have an announcement to make.

Pablo!

[whirring stops]

We are going back
to doing the play

as originally written,

about not COVID.

-No.
-What?

-[students murmuring]
-I have a good reason for this

because I actually knew
a lot of people in my life

when I was growing up
who died of these illnesses.

And I intend to honor them

with this work of art
that is about
what they went through.

Weren't you a baby in the '80s?

Okay, fine.
Yes, I don't know anybody
who died of AIDS personally,

but it was my community.

Lying ass.

Just... just listen to me.

You cannot do this weird play
about COVID because it's bad.

-[scoffs]
-It's just so bad, you guys.

Evan.

You're gonna remember this
later in your lives

and you're gonna be
embarrassed.

-You know what, sir?
-What?

I assume that maybe the reason
you don't care too much
about COVID

is because what you
were probably doing
during the pandemic is

throwing ass at the gay club,
no mask on.

[student] Ooh!

-That's not true.
-We've actually all
already spoken

-about this.
-Mm-hmm.

If you don't let us do
our version of the play,

-we're just not
gonna do the play at all.
-[students] Yeah.

-Because we are artists.
-Sing it, sister.

Hell yeah.

Okay.

Well, then
it's officially called off.

[murmuring]

-Are you shitting me?
-What?

Talk to him, please.

This sucks.

[loud whirring resumes]

♪ Fauci! ♪

Oh, my God. After-hours visit
from the angel of COVID.

Can you imagine me
welcoming you
at the Pearly Gates?

-[laughs]
-I can't wait. [laughs]

What scene was that for?

The, uh, six feet apart dance
with the president of Pfizer

and the president of Moderna.

That was gonna be terrible,
wasn't it? I'm glad
we canceled this thing.

This is so interesting.

-Gwen, it's not...
-Where is this coming from?

Here's the deal:
I did a play in high school,

and it was called
I Wasn't There
But I Felt Like I Was,

that I wrote
and directed and starred in.

One-man show, spotlight on me,
all about 9/11.

-[laughs]
-And I bombed,

and then I regretted it
for years.

-Shut up.
-I'm making sure
that these kids

don't encounter that same fate.

Mmm. You're really
kind of punishing them

for something you did
20 years ago?

I'm not punishing them.
I'm saving them.
I'm doing them a favor.

Don't you think it's sort of
this classic thing
in high school

to make really bad art?

Like,
it's sort of a rite of passage.

So you're sort of taking away
a really fun experience
and a lesson from the kids.

Yeah.

You might be right.

♪ Ahh ♪

[chattering]

[trombonist plays tuning note]

Oh, my God. I'm so excited.
It's gonna be horrible.

So, kinda serious:
Daniel's gonna, um,

go to rehab
for the next couple weeks.

-Oh, that's good.
-Yeah. I'm just telling you

because tonight I guess
he's going, like, "ham,"
I guess you would say.

Like, drinking extra or double.

Just 'cause when he goes
to rehab, like,
you can't drink as much there.

At his rehab,
they shouldn't be drinking
at all.

I think this one is more
of a hybrid situation,
you know.

Wine at dinner kind of vibes.

I don't think that's a rehab.

-We don't need
to talk about it right now.
-Hi.

-How are you?
-Hey, congrats.

-Thank you.
-My God.

God. Can you imagine we, like,
pulled off this choreography
without using silks?

It's a miracle that you
pulled off that choreography
without using silks.

It's insane.

There he is. Hey, king.

-Oh. [groans]
-Hey--

Okay-- We're not--
Let's do a closed-mouth kiss.

Are you excited for the play,
Daniel?

He's swaying. He looks seasick.

-Did I tell you I quit vaping?
[chuckles]

I don't know. [stammers]
This is the first time
we've ever spoken.

Great story, make it about you.

[plays note]

These vaccine lines...

Down, down.

They're so long.
[voice reverberating]

Fuck.

I mean, if I have to stand
in another goddamn line
at another goddamn stadium...

Why are they so obsessed
with saying "goddamn"?

-...another goddamn shot...
-I think it sounds
like theater to them.

-I might just lose my mind.
-Yeah,

they're gonna
lose the Christian audience.

I mean, what am I worth anyway?

I'm just another
goddamn experiment
for American Big Pharma.

-It's all so fucked up!
-Whoa!

-[feedback screeches]
-Wow.

-[screams]
-[scattered applause]

-We go to Italy--
-Fuck, Pablo, get the fuck off.

Fucking audience sucks.

-That was good.
-[Chelsea] Shut up.

-This--
-[metal clatters]

[Chelsea] I hate theater!

We go to Italy.

[trombone plays fanfare]

Buongiorno , news Italia.

[speaking gibberish]

[speaks gibberish]

Mamma mia!

Will somebody tell these kids
to shut up?

[off-key]
♪ Italia,
how many ventilators? ♪

♪ Italia, how many deaths? ♪

♪ We feel your pain ♪

♪ We see it on the news ♪

-[Jeff] ♪ Italia ♪
-I remember that.
I remember that.

Europe is... Europe is in chaos.

-[applause]
-[ ♪ "Don't Bring Me Down"
playing]

These kids are talented.
I wonder what this play
is about.

[audience gasps]

Tiger King, you're on. Go.

[audience gasps]

Chelsea, go up, go up, go up.

-Commit!
-Shh.

Go. Go, go, go. Come on.

And brain fog.

Get your virus costumes on.
Get your virus costumes on.

[laughter]

♪ Mainstream media,
Can we trust you? ♪

♪ Can we trust you?
CNN, NBC, who are you? ♪

They're doing it. Yeah.

[Chelsea imitating
Donald Trump]
The news is lying.

[plays short melody]

-[whispers]
It's not enough toilet paper.
-[audience murmuring]

It's not enough toilet paper.
It doesn't read.

Honey, I'm as goddamn tired
as you of being cooped up
in this place.

It's madness.

I couldn't agree more.

And I'm tired of banging
these fucking pots and pans

for the goddamn nurses
and doctors.

My sister had COVID, so this is

-just, like,
kind of hitting me hard.
-Now these clowns are saying

that this is being caused
by the goddamn
Chinese 5G towers.

She couldn't smoke for,
like, three weeks.

[coughs]

What was that?

It's just a cough.

-[audience murmuring]
-[coughs]

[coughs]

[students coughing]

She's gonna win an Oscar
for this. Oh, my God.

Everybody, cough. Cough!

-[all coughing]
-[Chelsea] Everybody cough!

Two stripes.
Stay away from me. Get back!

We cough because we can.

[clank]

-[cheering]
-[Jeff] Hell yeah!

Great.

Well done, Murphy.
I'm gonna get
you into some weird school.

This show is not an endorsement
of COVID-19 or coronavirus.

We condemn coronavirus
in the strongest term.
Thank you.

-Yeah! Yeah!
-[cheering]

[whirring]

Wait, so he's, like, building
a pickleball court now?

It's no longer a pool.
It's a pickleball court

'cause Swimply rents out
pickleball courts now.

Like, this is much better.

-Yeah.
-Right, babe?

I'm just explaining
to everybody what you're doing.

-Yeah, I'm building
a pickleball court.
-[Gwen] Pickleball court.

-It's a money machine.
A money magnet.
-It's a money magnet.

So much smarter
than just getting a job.

-It looks really good.
-Thank you.

I'll be the first to say it.

I think the play
was pretty good.

-Mm-hmm.
-And made me wish
I got vaccinated.

It's a good play.

And it did make me remember.

You liked that sanitation,
the opening...

-Sanitizing the groceries.
-It was based off Stomp.

Yeah.

You take out the cereal.

Speaking of high school plays,
how about this?

♪ Oh, it's just a normal day... ♪

-Where'd you get that?
-Wow! You're so cute.

Yeah, I reached out
to your mom. She sent me this.

-Look at the charisma.
-Kind of doing
like a little hip thing.

[Evan]
Okay, Markie, stop the video.

TOWER 1 - TOWER 2

I'm about to start doing
my Giuliani interpretive dance.

♪ It's just another
Manic Monday ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ I wish it was Sunday ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ 'Cause that's my fun day ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ My "I don't have to run"
Day ♪

-♪ Whoa ♪
-♪ It's just another
Manic Monday ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ I wish it was Sunday ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ 'Cause that's my fun day ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ My "I don't have to run"
Day ♪

-♪ Whoa ♪
-♪ It's just another
Manic Monday ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ I wish it was Sunday ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ 'Cause that's my fun day ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ It's just another
Manic Monday ♪