All language subtitles for English.Teacher.S02E06.1080p.WEB.h264-ETHEL

Look, I don't like the evacuation
drills either, but they're not my ideas.

-It's state-mandated.
-State-mandated.

You love 'em, you hate them. It
doesn't matter. We have to do them.

He literally doesn't care how
you guys feel about anything.

Okay, anyway, next bit of business
I'm gonna pass on to Mr. Santana. Rick.

What is going on? Rick is,
like, second-in-command?

I don't know what's going on. I
talked to Grant about it. He won't say.

Putting Rick in any kind of
authority position is insane.

That's a really bad idea.

Guys, can we keep
the chatter to a minimum?

This is a fucking nightmare.

Starting today, we are gonna be
welcoming Corporal Sergeant

Or is it first something?

First Sergeant?
No, first responder.

Lieutenant Colonel. Whatever.

A US Army guy to the school
to do some recruiting.

-Oh, my God.
-Yeah! He's gotta be a sergeant, at least.

-An E-5, at least, to do recruiting.
-Recruiting. Fucking euphemism.

No, no, no, no, no. It's just a
word. Don't euphemize this.

-Okay. I just have to say
-Evan? Evan?

-Just let me say
-You already said it.

-Do we really want to be encouraging this?
-Yes.

-Yes, of course. We have no choice.
-Yes.

College people came last week.

Good schools, bad schools,
schools I don't even think exist.

-Like, literally, what is Grinnell?
-That's a real college.

Someone told me they
got into Grinnell last year.

I literally thought they were
making that up to save face.

This army recruiter
is coming to the school

to basically try to convince these
students into joining the army,

where they're put
into serious danger.

It's literally the plot of
All Quiet on the Western Front.

This coming from the guy who
brought a drag queen to school.

-That was funny.
-Is this a gays in the military thing?

No, but now you bring that up,
the military just banned trans people,

-so, yeah, it is.
-Do not look at me there, bud.

-I play Call of Duty as a trans character.
-Good for you.

-Huge knockers on her too.
-Damn. Those sound big.

You're yapping away
because you feel left out.

You feel the same way about
the military that you do football.

You don't get it. So now you
gotta take a moral stance against it.

You just want to be included.

You think I don't like the military
because I don't feel included?

-And here we are, living in Evan's house.
-No. No.

-We're all just paying rent.
-Hey, adjourn it, adjourn it.

-Meeting adjourned.
-You have adjourning powers?

-Meeting adjourned.
-This is insane.

Grab me an apple pie at lunch.

-Already?
-I guess I'll just take the shortcut.

There's no shortcut.

Gwen.
There's only one way to class.

♪ When you say we belong
to the light ♪

♪ We belong to the thunder ♪

Hey, James.

♪ We belong to the sound
of the words ♪

♪ We've both fallen under ♪

Be right in, guys.

Churchill! Hello, FDR.
We need you.

Shut that for me.
We need you to destroy them!

♪ We belong ♪

France just got overtaken, and the
bombs are going off. This is crazy.

The Luftwaffe

The bombs are just exploding.

-Shh.
-Couldn't even be in class

without being afraid.

-Oh, my God.
-The bombs. Crazy, right?

-Jennifer Lopez is still alive.
-No way.

Guys, oh, my God. Are you all
on your phones? Seriously?

What are you listening to,
a YouTube video?

-A podcast.
-What podcasts would talk about that?

Stars That Are Alive.

Is this what you're looking at?

I'm not listening to that.
I'm texting.

Okay, guys, enough. I worked
so hard on this lesson.

Okay, now none of you are
looking at me. Everybody look at me.

Ms. Sanders, we're multitasking.

Okay, we could look at our
phones and pay attention to you.

Right. So you were multitasking.
Okay, so what was I talking about?

Some shit about Jennifer Lopez.

-Oh, yeah, her middle name's Lynn.
-See?

Okay, I am going to
get the bin. That's right.

I've been the nice teacher,
you guys.

I'm your favorite teacher.
I know I am.

But now we're just gonna
collect these phones.

What? No, wait up.

We're collecting the phones at
the beginning of class in the bin.

You're already more focused,
huh? Jason, let's go.

Hold on. I'ma FaceTime my
grandma. She's in the hospital.

No! This is not your grandma.
This is Candy Crush.

-She needs help. She's got arthritis.
-All grandmas have arthritis.

Give me your phones. In the bin!

What's a Fly Girl?

Oh, my God, I'm so excited
to teach you now.

This is gonna be
so much better. Ah!

And the key is the bin. Trust
me, guys, you gotta use the bin.

-You gotta do the bin.
-You sound like Seinfeld.

You gotta do the bin.
Bin, bin, bin.

It's simple. It's like a drug
to them. It's like heroin.

Every classroom has a bin
for this reason,

so I'm just actually doing
something about it.

-I'm enforcing it.
-Like they should be doing at the border.

-Collecting people's phones?
-No. Enforcing the law.

-Oh, my God.
-I love this Italian dressing.

It's, like, sour. Sour.

There he is.
Damn, look at that guy.

That I mean, guy is legit, dude.

Put anybody in that outfit,
they look like G.I. Joe.

That guy could probably
crack open a lobster claw

without a lobster claw opener.

That is such a weird metric.

-Come meet my guy.
-He gets a whistle now?

-We should go say hi.
-I don't understand

-what this new level of authority is.
-Be nice. You be nice.

Nice. Ev,
I see it in your eyes, dude.

-Don't do it, please.
-Uh-huh.

Don't bring up the
military-industrial complex.

All I'm asking is show him
some respect.

He puts his life on the line
for you.

Probably sits at a desk
all day in Virginia, so

We should really go. I mean,
he's gotta stop blowing that whistle.

Don't say anything.
Bite your tongue.

Seth, these are the original
homies. We got Markie, Evan, Gwen.

Hi. You know,
thank you for your service.

Thank you. Evan. What's your...

Yeah, Evan. Or, actually,
in the confines of the school,

I prefer Mr. Marquez. Thanks.

I respect that,
and I appreciate your candor.

And also speaking of the
school, I have a list of students,

and we've got quite a few here, that just
aren't gonna do shit with their lives,

and I'll show each
and every one of them to you.

Fish in a barrel type situation
for you.

We only want the young adults
who choose to be with us.

Right. Yeah, no, yeah, exactly.
That's what I'm Yeah.

You and I are a lot alike,
brother.

I was in ROTC.
Almost signed up too.

-I appreciate your effort.
-Thanks for trying, bud.

So what, these kids are on a
simulated VR battlefield or something?

I mean, clearly they're looking
for mines right now.

-Where are they? Syria? Fallujah, even?
-Not at all, Michael.

-Markie...
-This is an immersive experience

where they get to see what
it's like to be a soldier firsthand.

This is so sick. I'm literally
the first one on the plane.

That guy's my favorite. He
should be on the front lines.

They're boarding an airplane?

Well, they're boarding first,
as soldiers do.

-Damn right.
-I have as much overhead room as I'd like.

This is ridiculous.

I think it's cool.
I think it's cool as shit.

-It's not cool, Mikey.
-Markie.

-It's informative.
-Right. No, I was saying "cool,"

you know, just for myself.

I was being informative
by saying it out loud

and also for Mr. Marquez here,
to inform him.

So, I guess that

-So that will wrap it up.
-Do your stuff.

You guys are welcome back,
but you gotta behave next time.

You know, I never do this,

but I'll actually have
a tomato juice. Thank you.

Are they in first class?

Okay, guys, Ms. Sanders is
doing this, so we're gonna try it too.

-Phones in the bin.
-Phones in the bin.

-God, I love this bin.
-That's fascism.

There will never be a reason
why you need cell phones in class.

So what if there's an emergency?

What if my step dad's girlfriend
calls me?

Why would your step dad's
girlfriend call you, Tiffany?

-To talk.
-That's cool.

We have a landline in here
in case the office needs to call.

Does anybody know
how this works?

What are these old 2000s phones?

Do you, guys Give me your real
phones. Why do you have second phones?

In case someone
takes our phones away.

Today, I want you all
to write essays by hand.

Could you text my mom and
ask her if I'm right- or left-handed?

Okay, everybody just relax.

Tray, is your back okay?
Why are you standing?

Are we not supposed to stand
when we write? It's what you do.

-I'm done with this one.
-Thank you.

I need to take that.
My doctor died.

Landlines are just cell phones
now. It's not connected to anything.

-I did not notice a difference.
-Yeah, I had some hiccups today.

-Hey, team.
-Oh, my God.

I'm opening up the
VR experience to the teachers.

Yeah, I'll definitely
be down for that.

Rick's in it right now, but

I'm on the plane even before
this family with six kids.

Get out of the way, bitch.
I'm boarding.

-That looks fun.
-Dude, those Oakleys are sick.

Are they Standard Issue?

They got polarization for
enhanced target acquisition?

I got 'em at Ross.

Whoa.

You can get good deals there.

Becca, are you wearing a
sweatshirt that says "Kuwait"?

Yeah, Kuwait. I made it because
I'm enlisting in the army or whatever.

-There you go.
-You're enlisting in the army?

-And you're going to Kuwait?
-I don't know, probably.

Seth told me I won't know
where I'm deployed for a while.

He's so smart. He made
all these really good points

about seeing the world
and how expensive college is

and something called
"priority checked baggage."

Becca,
don't let this guy trick you

into going to fight some war
in the Middle East.

It's just nation building.

Cool. How long do you think
he's spent on that pickleball court?

Dude, time does not exist
when you're unemployed

and that dude
is chronically unemployed.

That's why the WNBA actually
loses more money than it makes.

Nick is still out there
so late?

Building a pickleball court
is cool.

-Hello.
-My guy!

Somebody texted me,
said you guys are hanging out?

Who texted him?

That would be me.
Guilty as charged, Your Honor.

I'm a staff sergeant, Markie,
not a judge.

Well, no, I know.
I was just saying it to Evan.

He's not a judge either.
He's an English teacher.

Right on.
Right you are, brother.

I invited you over 'cause I thought you
could use a little well-deserved R & R

while here
in our beautiful city.

What can we get you?
We got beer.

-Right? We got seltzer.
-Yeah.

-I'm fine.
-Agua, brew of the gods.

-Yeah.
-Well, mi casa, su casa, so

-This is your house?
-No, but, you know, I wish.

It's actually my house, and I want to just
make sure you know that this is for you.

Thank you.

I'm gonna start paying my taxes
'cause of guys like you.

This so crazy. What are we
supposed to do? What's the protocol?

I don't know. This whole thing
is so messed up.

Like, he's basically just
indoctrinating our students all day,

and now we're supposed to just
chill with him and act like it's normal?

-Yeah.
-Hey.

I gotta get some pretzels
at the old mess hall.

John McCain, right?
Oh

Do you like movies, Evan?

Uh, do I like movies?
Yeah, I don't know.

People, everybody likes movies,
don't they?

I mean, who doesn't
fucking like movies?

-What are you doing?
-Just looking for Looper.

-The Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie?
-You've never seen Looper?

It's like a future self killing
a past self, or vice versa?

That sounds fun.

It's a little more than fun, Evan.
It's extremely important film.

-Oh.
-Yeah.

Listen, Seth, I need
to talk to you about Becca.

-Which one's Becca?
-Becca, the blonde girl

that you recruited
into the US military.

Right. Becca.

I'm not sure why she thinks
she's going to Kuwait.

There's a chance that
you ruined Becca's life,

and you did that
with a lot of lies

and a lot of promises
of early boarding.

I didn't promise her anything. She
came to me and said she was lost.

I told her this could give her
some structure, discipline.

Set the stage
for her future life.

She has no idea what's
going on, basically ever.

-Can I ask you a question?
-Sure.

Am I the first military service
member you've ever met?

No. No, I've met army people.

Well, maybe you're the first
one I've ever, like, talked to

in depth. Yeah.

I understand. Everybody has
their own opinions about the military,

and they forget that it's not
some big scary, abstract monolith.

It's hundreds of thousands
of individuals coming together

to do something
they actually believe in.

Just like you do with teaching.

I mean, it's not a bad point.

Don't really know anything
about the military unless you count,

like, going to Barry's Bootcamp.

-You do Barry's?
-I know.

I know,
it's not like actual boot camp.

No, no, no, no,
it's a great workout.

Believe it or not,
those calisthenics,

very similar to what we do
in boot camp.

-Oh, really?
-Mm-hmm.

I thought I thought it was,
like, a gimmick.

If you're doing that daily,
you're probably in better shape

-than most of the guys down at the base.
-No, I'm not.

What y'all laughing about? Me eating
shit at the top of the stairs just now?

You fell down the stairs?
We didn't see that.

-Yeah. You know, that happens.
-You're bleeding.

-No, that was like that. No big deal.
-So what's the appeal, Evan?

Is it the physical results

or the mental toughness it
takes to push yourself every day?

I think it's just I'm not gonna
work out as hard

unless somebody's yelling at me.

You gotta be broken down before you
can be built back up first, am I right?

Yeah.

If you want to go to Barry's
with me, you're welcome.

Thanks, man. That'd be awesome.
Yeah. Hell yeah.

Hey, Seth, do you do
army recruiting for adults?

-I do.
-Wait, come meet my boyfriend, Nick.

-See ya in a bit. Yeah.
-See ya.

He's kind of, like,
cooler than I thought.

-Can I ask you something, Ev?
-Mm-hmm.

Something off about that guy?

Don't think
there's anything off about him.

He seems normal enough for somebody
who stands for everything I object to.

Nah. Something's off, man.

And then as soon as I start
showing Seth some respect,

which is exactly what Markie
was, like, nagging me about,

Markie suddenly says there's
something "off" about him.

His feelings were hurt.

'Cause, like, Markie likes being your
one straight, loud, hetero friend, right?

This is not a threat to that.

You know, you met somebody else
and you just immediately,

like, jump ship to this new,
better masculine friend.

-Did Markie tell you this?
-No, he didn't need to. Oh, my God.

So I didn't mean to do that.
Does that get me any points?

No one ever means
to do anything these days.

Am I supposed to talk
to Markie about this?

No, he's already hurt.
You don't wanna embarrass him.

This feels very 15-year-old
girl social-clique-coded.

Like I'm supposed to cry in
the bathroom until he notices.

No, don't cry in the bathroom.
You cry in your car like an adult.

Great workout this morning.

-Did so many jump squats.
-I got something for you.

Right, Federal Flakes.
These are really cool.

-But it's good you keep them...
-Insane amount of protein.

-Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude.
-Yeah.

-Hell yeah. All right.
-All right.

How's it going?

It's going.

-Okay, did you see the game last night?
-Yeah, man.

-Down to the wire, right?
-Yeah.

What did you think? You thought they
were gonna call that on fourth down?

I don't know. I'm just trying
to make conversation.

Yeah, I figured.

-You're mad at me, aren't you?
-No, come on.

What do I have to be mad about?
What? What?

-What have you decided I'm mad about?
-You're mad.

You're mad I've been hanging out
with Seth and connecting with him.

No, it's all good.
I don't care about that at all.

Yo, Ev.

Drop and give me five?

Drop and give me five.

It was an inside joke
from Barry's this morning.

He's lying about something.
He's fucking full of shit.

-What?
-That guy is a fraud.

That's not even his real voice.

Hey, Evan. Evan, do you want to
go work out at Barry's Bootcamp?

-Some people talk like that.
-I'm just saying, dude.

-I don't want to see you get tricked.
-Tricked into what?

He's gonna enlist me in the military?
We went to an exercise class together.

-Hey, guys.
-What?

I gotta talk to Seth about

some adjustments that need
to be made.

So if anyone starts shooting,
just try to stop it.

Rick, how would we stop
somebody shooting?

I don't know, man.

-It's more just a gesture.
-Whoa.

Do you think it's weird that Rick
is, like, in charge of stuff now?

I feel like
I just can't figure out

if Grant is actually giving him
these powers

or if he's, like, freestyling.

I hadn't noticed.

This is so weird.

This may be the first time
you've ever been mad at me.

I am not mad, okay?

You would know it
if I was mad, brother.

This is me on high alert.
That's all this is.

I am intuitive.

Yeah.

Exactly, exactly.

So Reverend Hale
is no longer the same character

as he was in act one, right?

He was a true believer before, but
now he's starting to have these doubts.

So what Tiffany was saying, that's
what we call a dynamic character, right?

Y'all, who's that man?

Who?

I don't know. That's just
some guy. Guys, focus up.

I feel like we should call
someone. That man looks ill.

I'm sure he's like a landscaper. He's
out doing something with the bushes.

I don't think
people do landscaping in UGGs.

He's cute. Can I have my phone,
please? I need to take a picture of him.

No, no, no. We're doing really
good. Focus up. Look, no phones

-I think he's trying to tell us something.
-Reverend

Just stop, stop looking
out here. Focus, focus.

You guys are addicted
to distractions.

I'm addicted to the old man now.

Take your phones. Now you can
check your notifications.

Good class. Tomorrow
we're doing -I got that too.

-What's up?
-We got a silver alert.

Silver alert? What is that?
That's like a missing senior?

Missing endangered adult
Rodrick Hauser.

If I have a son,
I'm totally naming him Rodrick.

We could have saved him
if we had our phones.

You think that's that guy?
That's

-Last seen in gray sweatpants
-Guys.

-And UGGs.
-And UGGs.

I'm sure that's a coincidence.

-How many old men do you think there are?
-Shit.

My granddad died like this.
Because of people like you.

I don't want you to feel bad.

I'm just saying we probably
literally would have found this old guy

if the kids
had had their phones.

And you told us
not to have our phones.

Yeah, but you shouldn't have
shut the blinds on him.

I shut the blind 'cause
I thought it was a landscaper.

Evan. Great news.
I spoke with the police.

What? They found him? He's okay?

I don't know that.

But they said we bear no
responsibility, so I'm taking it as a win.

Hey, boss, I'll see you tomorrow,
at which point we can circle back

on those issues of which
we've previously spoken.

What issues?
Grant, just stop for a second.

What actually is the deal
with Rick's new position?

-Yeah, is he like your deputy now?
-Oh, shit. Old man, 10:00.

Oh, God, not on school
property. Keep walking.

-Keep walking.
-This is like It Follows.

Should I call the cops?

140 yards out, south
by southeast. He's movin'.

I don't think
he's gonna get way, Markie.

He is. Oh, shit, he's
Wait, should I do something?

-Leave that to me.
-Oh, my God.

-Seth, what are you doing here?
-I just wanted to come say

I really enjoyed
getting to know you.

That's so nice of you.
Thank you.

Here you go.

Looper, that's awesome.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to go take out my loop.

You think that's your loop?

-All right.
-I don't have any way to watch this.

It's time to close the loop!

-Oh, my God.
-I haven't seen the movie.

What does that mean if
he's gonna take out his loop?

-Everybody move!
-Over the red line.

Over the red line.
Over the red line.

-Yes! Yes! Yes!
-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God, I'm so glad I have my phone.
-Keep filming this.

-This man is from the future!
-Yes, yes, yes.

I mean, that's horrible, but it's horrible
over there and someone else's problem.

Stand down! Stand down!

Okay, maybe I don't want
to join the army anymore.

Don't like the way
they treat old people.

I mean, I was just starting to
warm up to the idea of you enlisting.

A lot of benefits. It could
add structure to your life.

I wanted to make sure you knew
what you were getting into.

It's all gonna make sense
in 30 years.

Do you think
the Time War is real?

What is that?

Evan! I did this for you!

Seth, the armed forces recruiter,
he won't be joining us anymore.

We now know that he was lying about
his qualifications, exaggerating his rank.

The dude was insane.

He said that his role in the military was
to get rid of all the loopers on Earth.

Told ya. I knew it.

I recognize stolen valor
when I see it.

Maybe the military
will send a real recruiter.

The military
sent this guy to our school?

-I mean, I hired him. I hired him.
-Oh, my God.

Calm! Let me explain.

I met the dude
at an army surplus store.

He seemed legit
'cause he sounded like Batman.

Said he had a message
to the kids about the future.

And then I found out
he got dishonorably discharged.

And that one
wasn't a red flag for you?

I thought "dishonorably
discharged" meant he came early.

-Oh, my God.
-I didn't know it was some other shit.

Can we agree to just not
tell anyone about any of this?

We won't tell anybody.

Don't mention this to anybody
ever again. All right? Okay.

All right, guys, meeting
adjourned.

Meeting adjourned, guys.

-Hey! Meeting adjourned.
-Meeting adjourned. Meeting adjourned.

Oh, thank you so much.

-What a week.
-Indeed, brother.

Insane week.

Are we good, Markie, you and me?

What? Why are you
being so emotional this week?

I don't know.

You know, I was thinking about this
stuff you said about being included,

and I think
you're kind of right.

I did feel left out
of military stuff.

The second Seth made me feel like
I was a part of it, I kind of liked it.

Yeah, now you know I'm always
right. About everything, in my opinion.

We all just want
to be included, don't we?

I don't give a shit about being
included. I'm independent.

Right.

You know what I was thinking we
never done? We always talk about it?

-Yeah? What?
-Working out together.

I've offered so many times,
but you blow it off,

so I just kind of figured
you weren't into it.

How about Saturday?

-Saturday morning? Yeah.
-For real?

Hit the weights, do some
power squats, military press?

I was thinking more maybe
like go to Barry's Bootcamp.

That's too gay for me, but

You know what, man, fuck it.
You wanna do it? Let's do it.

I'd love to.

-Awesome.
-Yeah? Text me.

Hey, you don't happen
to have a DVD player, do you?

Single disc
or like a 5-disc changer?

-Single's good.
-Cool.

♪ Still, you say we belong
to the light ♪

♪ We belong to the thunder ♪

♪ We belong ♪ -♪ We
belong to the sound of the words ♪

♪ We've both fallen under ♪

♪ Whatever we deny or embrace ♪

♪ For worse or for better ♪

♪ We belong ♪

♪ We belong,
we belong together ♪

♪ We belong ♪

♪ We belong to the light
We belong to the thunder ♪

♪ We belong ♪ -♪ We
belong to the sound of the words ♪

♪ We've both fallen under ♪

♪ Whatever we deny or embrace ♪

♪ For worse or for better ♪

♪ We belong ♪