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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,441 Whoo! 2 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,521 Yeah! 3 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,888 Somebody make some motherfucking noise in here! 4 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,610 Fuck these people. 5 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,007 Man, this place is unbelievable. 6 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:41,970 Fucking Goolybib, man. 7 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,849 Those guys build a mediocre piece of software, 8 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,003 that might be worth something someday, and now they live here. 9 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,681 There's money flying all over Silicon Valley but none of it ever seems to hit us. 10 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,409 What the hell are you eating? 11 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,926 Liquid shrimp. It's 200 dollars a quart. 12 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,765 Wylie Dufresne made it. 13 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,645 How does it taste? 14 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,481 Like how I would imagine cum tastes. 15 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,409 You guys taking it all in? 16 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,369 Because this is what it looks like 17 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,922 when Google acquires your company for over 200 million dollars. 18 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,969 Look, Dustin Moskovitz. 19 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,762 Elon Musk, Eric Schmidt. 20 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,411 Whatever the fuck the guy's name is who created Photrio. 21 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,484 I mean, Kid Rock is the poorest person here. 22 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,331 Apart from you guys. 23 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:27,928 Okay, there's 40 billion dollars of net worth walking around this party. 24 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,082 And you guys are standing around drinking shrimp 25 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,083 and talking about what cum tastes like. 26 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,482 Yeah, I heard that. You guys live in my incubator. 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,166 You've got to network. That's why I brought you here. 28 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,044 Uh, I got us in here. 29 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,401 Javeed over there is my ex-room-mate. 30 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,727 Yeah, but I drove. 31 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,328 Eric Schmidt, Erlich Bachman. 32 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,688 It's amazing how the men and women at these things 33 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,285 always separate like this. 34 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,807 Yeah, every party in Silicon Valley ends up like a Hasidic wedding. 35 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,726 Not even the Goolybib guys were talking to girls. 36 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,370 They don't have to, Big Head. 37 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,204 This house talks to girls. 38 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,489 Hello! Whoo! 39 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,569 I got seven words for you. 40 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,848 I love 41 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:19,562 Goolybib's integrated-multi-platform-functionality! 42 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,766 Yeah! 43 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:21,841 - All right! - Whoo! 44 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:23,721 Yeah! 45 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,564 But seriously, 46 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,489 you know, a few days ago, when we were sitting down with Barack Obama, 47 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,210 I turned to these guys and said, 48 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,090 "Okay, you know, we're making a lot of money." 49 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,004 "And yes, we're disrupting digital media." 50 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,283 "But most importantly," 51 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,004 "we're making the world a better place." 52 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,763 "Through constructing elegant hierarchies for maximum code reuse and extensibility." 53 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,770 So, everyone. 54 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,770 Here's to many more nights just like this one. 55 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,760 Take it away, my good friend, Kid Rock. 56 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,721 What a dick. 57 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,810 Big Head, there is a personal ad section on this Asperger site. 58 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,610 Holy shit, this one is looking for 59 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,724 a "relationship that has the potential to become sexual in nature." 60 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,451 Boy, is she on the spectrum. 61 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,286 She can't even make eye contact with the camera. 62 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,010 Richard, can I talk to you for a second? 63 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,645 - Solo. - Mmm-hmm. 64 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,888 We need to talk about Pied Piper. 65 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:40,726 What about it? The website's up and running, 66 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,280 I'm just redesigning the compression. It just needs users. 67 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,169 Yeah, no shit. 68 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,924 But even if somebody wanted to use it, 69 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,731 they wouldn't be able to figure out how to. It's incomprehensible. 70 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,482 Now, Richard, when you pitched me Pied Piper 71 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,483 you said it was gonna be, "The Google of Music." 72 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,449 Which is a really rad way to pitch something. 73 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,887 I mean, I liked it. I thought it had applications. 74 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,928 No, it has all that. Look, when it blows up, 75 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,571 and it will once it reaches a critical mass of users, 76 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,445 Pied Piper will be able to search the whole world of recorded music 77 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,320 to find out if there's a match to see if you're infringing on any copyrighted material. 78 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,961 So, if you're a songwriter or a band... 79 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,322 Okay, first of all, nobody gives a shit about stealing other people's music, okay? 80 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,683 Everybody involved in the music industry is either stealing it or sharing it. 81 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,967 They're all a bunch of assholes, especially Radiohead. 82 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,321 - Look, Richard... - No. 83 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,209 Yeah, they're assholes. 84 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,567 Now, look, Richard, if you want to live here, 85 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,085 - you've got to deliver. - Mmm. 86 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,610 I can't have dead weight at my incubator, okay? 87 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,843 Either that, or show some promise, for fuck's sake. 88 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,042 Like NipAlert, Big Head's app. 89 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,204 It gives you the location of a woman with erect nipples. 90 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,691 Now, that's something people want. 91 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,962 Richard, you need to get in touch with humanity. 92 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:45,885 When I sold my company, Aviato, 93 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,486 I wanted to give back. 94 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,645 That's why I started this place, to do something big. To make a difference. 95 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,563 You know, like Steve. 96 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,721 Um... 97 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,201 Jobs or Wozniak? 98 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,681 Uh, Steve Jobs or Steve... 99 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,171 Oh, I heard you. 100 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,043 - Which one? - Jobs. 101 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,447 I mean, Jobs was a poser. He didn't even write code. 102 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,729 You just disappeared up your own asshole. 103 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,247 - You know that? You did. - Well, technically... 104 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,285 Big Head, I'm gonna be meditating. 105 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,081 He knew how to package the ideas, but it was Wozniak that... 106 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,571 What is Hooli? Excellent question. 107 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,241 Hooli isn't just another high tech company. 108 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,408 Hooli isn't just about software. 109 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,201 Hooli... Hooli is about people. 110 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:40,005 Hooli is about innovative technology that makes a difference, 111 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,521 transforming the world as we know it. 112 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,080 Making the world a better place, 113 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,887 through minimal message oriented transport layers. 114 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:51,602 I firmly believe we can only achieve greatness 115 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,524 if first we achieve goodness. 116 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,009 Erlich is gonna kick me out. 117 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,730 And I can't afford to pay rent here. 118 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,128 It's insane. $2800 a month, 119 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,801 $4500 a month, with five people. 120 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,122 Jesus! Why is it so expensive here? 121 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,171 Look at this place, it's a shithole. 122 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:13,761 Uh-oh. 123 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,001 Here's another one. 124 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,760 Miss Palo Alto, 2K14. 125 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,285 There she goes. 126 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,127 Oh, God, the marketing team is having another bike meeting. 127 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,486 Douchebags. 128 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,083 Just another day inside the Gavin Belson cult compound. 129 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,882 Hey, did you hear what Peter Gregory is doing? 130 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,564 You mean buying that island in the Pacific? 131 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,529 No, he's building one actually. 132 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:39,841 Baller. 133 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,088 Anyway, he's also offering 100K 134 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,403 to people willing to skip or drop out of college to pursue their idea. 135 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,326 I don't know what happened to that guy, but he really hates college. 136 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,887 Anyway, he's doing a TED Talks in Palo Alto tonight. 137 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,440 - Should we try to get in? - I dropped out of college. 138 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,569 Maybe I should re-enroll and drop out again. 139 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,966 Try and get the money. 140 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,641 Brogrammers. 141 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,087 Oh, no, no. 142 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,242 Hey, a double macchiato for me, dude. 143 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,446 Yeah. 144 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,491 Hey, Rico, you been working out? 145 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,409 No. No, I have not. 146 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,448 I don't have time to even if I wanted to. 147 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,249 I'm too busy working on my website. 148 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,921 Uh, I just, I don't want to end up being a Hooli lifer. 149 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,321 You know, working here forever. 150 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,605 Yeah, working for the most innovative company in the world, 151 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,690 with top pay and vested stock options. 152 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,728 I can totally see why you wouldn't want that. 153 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,280 Yeah, you're like an artist. An entrepreneur. 154 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,044 An iconoclast. 155 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,684 I don't know, maybe. 156 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,843 Dude, we're just messing with you. 157 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,324 But we really want to help you with your site. What's it called? 158 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,766 Pied Piper. 159 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,569 - Dude, sounds amazing. - Yeah. 160 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,608 Why don't you shoot it over to us and we'll give it a look. 161 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,080 Maybe we can help. 162 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,050 - Uh, really? - Yeah. 163 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,520 Okay, yeah... 164 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,206 I mean it's always good to have more eyes on it. 165 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,525 Look, it's sending... Sent it. 166 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,122 Oh. You're making fun of me. 167 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,168 - Dude, no. - No, you are. 168 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,288 - No, Ricky, man. - Ricky. Ricky, come back. 169 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,044 It's actually Richard, so that's... 170 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,840 - Pied wiper. - Wide diaper. 171 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,526 Gates, Ellison, 172 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,450 Jobs, Dell... 173 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,369 All dropped out of college. 174 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,324 Silicon Valley is the cradle of innovation 175 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,289 because of drop outs. 176 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,126 College 177 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,601 has become a cruel, expensive joke 178 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,290 on the poor and the middle class 179 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,645 that benefits only the perpetrators of it. 180 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,404 The bloated administrators. 181 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,967 You are a dangerous man, spewing ignorance! 182 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,684 I don't think so. 183 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,686 I'm just saying people should trust themselves 184 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,885 more than a system that happily churns out unemployed debtors 185 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,327 and provides dubious value. 186 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,530 The true value of a college education is intangible. 187 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,409 The true value of snake-oil is intangible as well. 188 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,011 Fascist. 189 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,845 - Anything? - Eh. 190 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,849 The usual riffs on Twitter and lnstagram. 191 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,570 Nothing I'd fund. 192 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,488 Hi, excuse me, Mr. Gregory? Um... 193 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,881 I have an idea I'd love to pitch you, if you have time. 194 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:45,961 Ooh. 195 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,447 Uh... 196 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,129 Well, that is before I just give up and go back to college. 197 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,441 Don't... Do not do that. 198 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,249 Go work at Burger King. 199 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,448 Go into the woods and forage for nuts and berries. 200 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,568 Do not go back to college! 201 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,245 I think I have been played. 202 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,009 Fine. Go ahead and pitch. 203 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,287 You have until I fasten the seatbelt in my car. 204 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,044 Thank you so much. Uh... 205 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,891 Pied Piper is a proprietary site that lets you find out 206 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,804 if your music is infringing on any existing copyrights. 207 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,724 So, imagine you were a songwriter, okay? 208 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,962 I don't think I could write a song. 209 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,808 Yeah, no, just imagine if you were. 210 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,202 I don't even think I could say, "Pied Piper is a proprietary site." 211 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,287 Well, I just did but it wasn't easy. 212 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,323 Crunching all those songs to find matches 213 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,370 sounds like it would take incredible processing power. 214 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:38,965 - I mean... - Yes. 215 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,724 Yes, it does. 216 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:45,051 No, no. It's... I made an algorithm. 217 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:49,888 Look, why don't you send me a link to your project and we'll take a look. 218 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:51,561 Okay, yeah, great. 219 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,570 I put the prototype up on Github. 220 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,528 Pied Piper. I'll look it up. 221 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:02,528 It's like the fable with the kids and then the rats and the music. 222 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,083 That is a narrow car. 223 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,969 Fucking billionaires. 224 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,090 Hey, wanna check out twig-boy's website? 225 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,964 Yes, I do. 226 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,124 You have to download your own media player? 227 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,968 Oh. Look at me, I traveled back to 2009. 228 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,611 Wait a sec. 229 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,802 What is this file size? 230 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,442 1.2 megabytes? No way. 231 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,405 Wow, that doesn't sound at all downgraded. 232 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,370 The file size is like, half. 233 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,842 And look how fast this search is. 234 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,929 Holy shit, how did it find a match that fast? 235 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,083 It's like it's searching compressed files? 236 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,770 No way. 237 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,481 Look at that Weissman score. 238 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,011 2.89. 239 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,367 Hey, where have you two been? 240 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,800 We're playing the multi-channel router team in five minutes. 241 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:18,889 Okay, how the hell did he do this? 242 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,641 And the compression is totally lossless. 243 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:30,404 And he's somehow figured out a way to do a search on a compressed data space. 244 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:33,971 - Holy shit. - Yeah. 245 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,929 And I don't think he even realizes what he has here. 246 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,162 He's using it for some silly songwriter app. 247 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,920 All these guys are like that, they're all about consumer facing. 248 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,689 Right, but you take something like this, 249 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,286 make it business facing and use it for enterprise, 250 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,567 the applications could be endless. 251 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,521 Hey, Gilfoyle, I thought you were a Satanist? 252 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,041 I'm a LaVeyan Satanist 253 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,725 with some theistic tendencies. 254 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,290 Oh, some theistic tendencies. 255 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,691 Well then, what's with the cross? 256 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,885 It's an upside down cross. 257 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,048 Not from here it isn't. 258 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,522 Oh, I see, you know what you should do? 259 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,450 You should get another tattoo that says, "This side up" on it. 260 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,130 How does this translate into Farsi? 261 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,770 That's not the language I speak. 262 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,561 Frontier Airlines just happened to like mine, Aviato. 263 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,884 And that's how I got to where I am. 264 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,248 So, what do you got? 265 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,207 Okay, here it is. 266 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,410 Bit Soup. 267 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,201 It's like alphabet soup, 268 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,406 but it's ones and zeros, instead of the letters. 269 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,165 'Cause it's binary. You know, binary is just ones and zeroes. 270 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,765 Yeah, I know what binary is. 271 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,207 Jesus Christ! I memorized the hexadecimal times tables 272 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,362 when I was 14 writing machine code! 273 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,442 Okay? Ask me what nine times F is. 274 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,205 It's fleventyfive. 275 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,641 I do not need you telling me what binary is, 276 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:58,327 just like I don't need you thinking about soup or taking pictures of it. 277 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,250 I need you thinking about apps, software, websites. 278 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,125 This is Silicon Valley, all right, not... 279 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,770 Paris, Texas. 280 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,401 Hmm. 281 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,369 That's where Campbell's Soup is. 282 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,204 It's the Hooli number again. 283 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,526 It's probably those brogrammers. 284 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,762 Can't wait to tell me how stupid my website is. 285 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,047 Assholes. 286 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,522 Hello, Richard Hendricks. I'm a total fucking retard. 287 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,691 Uh, hi, this is Jared Dunn calling from Hooli. 288 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,322 I'm calling on behalf of Gavin Belson. 289 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,843 I didn't... Hi. 290 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,729 Gavin is very excited about your Pied Piper application 291 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,486 and we were wondering if you could come in for a sit-down with us. 292 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,564 - Are you available now? - Okay. 293 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:47,761 - Sure. - Okay, we'll be here. 294 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,723 Yes. Good-bye. 295 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,481 Uh... 296 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,529 I have a meeting with Gavin Belson. 297 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,251 He likes Pied Piper. 298 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,890 - Holy shit. - I own 10% of Pied Piper. 299 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,411 You said it was a shitty idea. 300 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,845 It was a shitty idea. 301 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,970 I'm not sure what it is now. 302 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,282 - What time's the meeting? - Right now. 303 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:05,891 I'm gonna need a better shirt. 304 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,886 Holy shit. 305 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,088 - What the fuck am I waiting for? - Uh, see ya. 306 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:28,125 Well, it's like Gavin always says, "it takes change to make change." 307 00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,530 Uh, yeah, I think I've seen that written around. 308 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,601 - Hey. - Hi. 309 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,442 Gavin is running 30 minutes late 310 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,002 but you should know, he is very excited to see you, Richard. 311 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,081 Oh. 312 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,650 He's with his spiritual advisor. 313 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,960 He shouldn't be that much longer. 314 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,601 I'm a VP here and I only get to see him about 10 minutes a month. 315 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,763 Yeah, but that 10 minutes is just incredible. 316 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,526 I heard Richard Hendricks was here. 317 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,809 Have you ever met Gavin before? 318 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,325 - No. - No? 319 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,046 Oh, I told him, it's amazing. 320 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,840 That hardly begins to describe it. 321 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,681 It's weird. 322 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,687 They always travel in groups of five. 323 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,446 These programmers, there's always a tall skinny white guy, 324 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,443 short skinny Asian guy, 325 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,045 fat guy with a ponytail, 326 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,009 some guy with crazy facial hair 327 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,765 and then an East Indian guy. 328 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:28,251 It's like they trade guys until they all have the right group. 329 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,920 You clearly have a great understanding of humanity. 330 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,285 And Gavin said, "I'm not humiliating you, I'm elevating you." 331 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,930 Oh, Gavin... 332 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,844 This is Richard. 333 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,086 It's Peter Gregory. 334 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,081 Uh... 335 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,401 No. 336 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,087 Come on, Big Head. 337 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,685 Yeah, I'm coming. Slow... 338 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,211 Why are you going that fast? 339 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,320 'Cause we've got a meeting with Gavin Belson. 340 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,361 Pick up the pace. 341 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:06,640 - We honestly don't. - Come on. 342 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,567 I'm actually outside of Gavin Belson's office right now, Mr. Gregory. 343 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,202 Uh, here he comes, so can I call you back in a second? 344 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,851 So, Richard Hendricks is here! 345 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,091 - There you are, Richard. - Hi. 346 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,560 So sorry these gentleman have kept you waiting. 347 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,080 - That's fine. - So here's the thing. 348 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,248 I love what you did. 349 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,440 - Really? - Fill him in, Jared. 350 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:42,321 Now, as you know, Hooli is seen as possibly the most progressive company in the world. 351 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,007 Part of that is Gavin's commitment to social justice, 352 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,611 but part of it is his personal commitment to the people that work at Hooli. 353 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,082 In that spirit Gavin is prepared to give you a very substantial raise, 354 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,525 and a promotion to go with it. 355 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,569 I own 10 percent. 356 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,768 He created it while living in my incubator. 357 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,691 Erlich Bachman. This is Big Head. 358 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,326 I don't know what any of that means, 359 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,244 but I'll give you 600 thousand dollars for it. 360 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,324 We have the reach and the resources to take what you have done 361 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,966 and push it to the global level. 362 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,089 That is a generous offer. I, um... 363 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,801 Shit, sorry. Hello. 364 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,604 Really? No shit, that's... 365 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,927 Uh, yeah, yeah. No, here. It's Peter Gregory. 366 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,050 Not sure how he got my number. 367 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,921 Uh, this is Richard. 368 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,082 I'll give you $3 million for it right now! 369 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:33,521 Uh... 370 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,888 Gavin Belson just offered me $3 million for Pied Piper. 371 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,289 I'm prepared to give you $300,000. 372 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,202 Peter Gregory just offered me 300... 373 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,723 Did you say thousand dollars? 374 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,365 For 10% of your company. 375 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:49,841 Okay, 4 million. 376 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,770 200,000. 377 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,045 - For 5%. - Huh? 378 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,563 You just went down. 379 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,327 No, you're still valued at four million dollars. 380 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,724 But you own 95% of a potential billion-dollar company. 381 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,402 And not just that, I will help you build this company. 382 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,001 I will introduce you to the people you need to know 383 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,401 and provide the counsel that you need. 384 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,928 I will take a small piece, but the company will belong to you. 385 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,481 Not Gavin Belson. 386 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,408 You have until tomorrow to decide. 387 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:25,761 Uh... 388 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,080 Okay. 389 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,361 - Um, you know... - Pull your head out of your ass, Richard. 390 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,889 I'm offering you $4 million right now. 391 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,007 Mmm... 392 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,761 I'm... 393 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,605 That is a lot of money. 394 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,050 You know, I actually have to... 395 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,208 I've got to go to the bathroom. 396 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,281 I've got to pee. 397 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,727 It's desperate. I'm bursting. 398 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,049 I'll be right back, but right now... 399 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,281 Okay, 10 million. 400 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,681 No. Maybe. 401 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,200 I didn't mean to snap at you. 402 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,123 I'll talk in a bit. 403 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,690 Won't be long. 404 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,006 Little more about me. 405 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:14,210 I am the founder of Aviato, and I own a very small percentage of Grindr. 406 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,965 It's a men to men dating site 407 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,168 where you can find other men within 10 miles of you 408 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,965 interested in having sexual intercourse in a public restroom. 409 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,245 In the homosexual community there's sometimes anonymous... 410 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,560 I know what Grindr is. 411 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,971 I have gay friends. 412 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,684 So you will survive. 413 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,280 It's just a garden variety panic attack. 414 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,930 Welcome to Silicon Valley. 415 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,809 We see people like you all the time. 416 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,531 - Really? - Yes. 417 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,921 It's just I have to make this decision by tomorrow. 418 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,490 Yeah. You know, a while back, 419 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,767 we had a guy in here in almost the exact same situation, 420 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,320 "Take the money or keep the company." 421 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,681 What happened? 422 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,445 Well, a couple months later, 423 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,808 he was brought into the ER with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. 424 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,848 I guess he really regretted not taking that money. 425 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,961 He shot himself because he turned down the money? 426 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,605 Yeah. 427 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,689 Or no, he took the money. 428 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,326 Or no. 429 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,325 No, he did not. I don't... You know what? 430 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,050 I don't remember. But whatever it was, 431 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,963 he regretted it so much that he ended up shooting himself. 432 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,088 - And now he's blind. - He's blind? 433 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,003 Yeah, just FYI, if you're ever gonna shoot yourself, 434 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,491 don't hold the gun up to your temple, okay? 435 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,291 Because that just basically took out both of his optic nerves and then, 436 00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:30,850 you know, half of his face. 437 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:32,968 And then his wife left him, because, you know... 438 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,125 - Yikes. - Right. 439 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,250 He may have been a genius programmer 440 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,891 but not so much in human anatomy. 441 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,564 Or decision making, for that matter. 442 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,561 Now he's got to live with all that 443 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,490 and whatever terrible decision he made about the money. 444 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:51,402 Uh, and what do I do if I feel another panic attack coming on? 445 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,923 Mmm. Would you be interested in a device 446 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,522 that links up to your smartphone and it keeps track of your vitals 447 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,284 and it tells you, even before it's happening, 448 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,011 whether you're having a panic attack or an actual heart attack? 449 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,285 Yeah, that sounds great. 450 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,569 You would, right? Okay, that's great news. 451 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,762 Because it's still in prototype phase right now, 452 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,683 but my start-up partners and I are looking for investors. 453 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,888 Like today. So will you please let me know... 454 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:15,961 I'm going to give you my number. 455 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,963 If you do end up taking that 10 million dollars 456 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,726 because we could really make the world a better place. 457 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,365 Whoa! 458 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,601 Oh, jeez! 459 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:32,806 Richard. 460 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,724 Hi, Monica. I work with Peter Gregory. 461 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,041 - We met outside the TED... - Yeah, I remember you. 462 00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,964 What... How'd you know I was here? 463 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:46,045 Peter Gregory is invested in a company that uses GPS in phones to track people. 464 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:47,967 That's creepy. 465 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,964 You don't know the half of it. 466 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,804 And neither does Congress. 467 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,888 - Are you okay? - Look, I don't want to waste your time. 468 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,725 I think I gotta take the money from Gavin Belson. 469 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:03,805 At least this way when I blow my eyeballs out I'll have some money left for my family. 470 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,161 Jesus. 471 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:10,485 Sorry. That is a terrible doctor in there. 472 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:14,087 Richard, buried in that clunky UI of yours 473 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,085 is a compression algorithm that blew our engineering team away. 474 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,520 And what do you think Hooli is going to do with it? 475 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,723 I don't know. That's their business. 476 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,086 This is your baby. 477 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,924 Do you even realize the impact 478 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,651 that a compression this good could have on the world? 479 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,047 Getting any file on your mobile phone in an instant. 480 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,610 Navigation data for self-driving cars, mobile medical imagery, 481 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,286 all transmitting with no quality loss. 482 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,929 This is game-changing. 483 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,051 And don't you want to be in the driver's seat when that happens? 484 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,567 You really want to just turn it all over to Hooli and walk away? 485 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,041 Well, you are not making this easier for me. 486 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,205 I'm not trying to. 487 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:56,805 I mean, you're actually making it worse. 488 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,406 My hands are tingling. I have this metal taste in my mouth. 489 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,562 Actually, I can't go back in there, so I'm going to go home. 490 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,041 - Let me give you a ride home. - Good to see you again. 491 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,690 Uh, okay. Thanks. 492 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,640 Dude, where have you been? 493 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,125 Why won't you answer your phone? 494 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,123 Man, this has grown way beyond AngelList, man. 495 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,443 Andreesen, Elevation and like a bunch of other seed firms are piling onto this thing. 496 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,000 I mean, they've been calling Erlich. 497 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,850 He's out of control. 498 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,121 Yeah. 499 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,730 What if we took Peter Gregory's 200K and built our own company? 500 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,160 I'm sorry. You said "we." 501 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,370 Who's that in reference to exactly? 502 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,367 You, me, Dinesh, Big Head, us. 503 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,441 I mean, right now Pied Piper just does audio, 504 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,450 but I'm thinking of ways to compress images, video... 505 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,401 I mean, maybe Peter Gregory's right. Maybe this thing could be huge. 506 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,802 Look, guys, for thousands of years 507 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,446 guys like us have gotten the shit kicked out of us. 508 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,364 But now, for the first time, we are living in an era 509 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,284 where we can be in charge and build empires. 510 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,086 We could be the Vikings of our day. 511 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,489 - Vikings? - How are you feeling? 512 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,251 You look super fucked up, to be honest. 513 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,764 Who ate my fucking quinoa again? 514 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,601 So you're really about to go tell Erlich that he's not going to get his $1 million? 515 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,768 Yeah, I don't want to be there when you do that. 516 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,365 I would like to be there when you do that. 517 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,568 No, just stay here, please. 518 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:19,601 Hey- 519 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:23,921 Um... 520 00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:29,286 So, I've been thinking about this whole Peter Gregory, Gavin Belson thing. 521 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,847 And, um, I think I'm going to go with Peter Gregory. 522 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,566 - Uh, which I know means... - Richard. 523 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,804 I know that you look at me, and see a guy who has it all figured out. 524 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,487 And for the most part, you're right, I do. 525 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,650 When I sold Aviato, 526 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,361 it gave me a house, money, fancy clothes, 527 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,522 the universal respect of all the ladies. 528 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,124 But there's always been a hole in my heart. 529 00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:02,082 Not a literal hole like you would find in some babies with congenital diseases, 530 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,083 but a metaphorical hole. 531 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,483 I guess that hole is the "What if." 532 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,331 What if I didn't sell? 533 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,805 I'll never know. 534 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,802 And so I guess what I'm saying to you now is, 535 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,010 you're like me, Richard. 536 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,250 You want to build something 537 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,084 and see it through. 538 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,321 Uh, so, just to be clear. 539 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,530 You're all right with me saying no to a deal that will net you a million dollars outright? 540 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,489 No, Richard. I'm not all right with it. 541 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,369 I'm excited about it. 542 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,969 Let's see how high this rocket can fly, partner. 543 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,411 Okay. Great. 544 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,163 That's great. Uh... 545 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,846 Not partners, exactly. 546 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,441 But everything else is great. 547 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:50,364 Call it what you want. 548 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,611 Always blue, always blue, always blue, 549 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,331 always blue, always blue, always blue, 550 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,209 always blue, always... 551 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,090 Oh, that was a yellow. 552 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,201 What was that, 17? 553 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,203 - It's pretty good. - Hey, guys... 554 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,806 Guys, can I just kind of say something real quick? 555 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,042 I know it's stupid but... 556 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,489 I just want to say, uh, 557 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,485 I'd like for this company to just be different than Hooli 558 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,608 and Goolybib and all the rest, you know? 559 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,411 Like, let's like not turn this into a corporate cult 560 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,121 with bike meetings and voluntary retreats that are actually mandatory. 561 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,329 And claiming to make the world a better place all the time. 562 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,963 Let's, uh... Let's just think different. 563 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,083 Uh, don't think different. That's Apple. 564 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,244 Let's just... Let's just do it. 565 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,845 - That's Nike, man. - I know that's Nike. 566 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:40,921 - Yeah. - Uh... 567 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,766 Fuck it. I don't know. Let's just make it... Let's make it happen. 568 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,365 Yeah, agreed. 569 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,490 To his beneficence. 570 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,005 Peter Gregory? 571 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,686 - The dark lord. - Of course, the dark lord. 572 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,967 Big Head. 573 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,729 God, he's worse high. 574 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:07,488 Always blue, always blue, always blue, always blue, always blue... 575 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,449 Always blue, always...44144

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