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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,563 --> 00:00:03,174 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2 00:00:03,176 --> 00:00:06,343 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 3 00:00:06,345 --> 00:00:10,768 Subtitles by explosiveskull 4 00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:11,603 Careful. 5 00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,303 Ryan. 6 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,128 I don't think I know how to French kiss 7 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,643 and I need you to teach me. 8 00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:21,788 Okay. 9 00:00:21,790 --> 00:00:22,838 Teach you how? 10 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:23,838 Well, demonstrate. 11 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,568 Kiss me and show me how it's done. 12 00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:26,688 Okay. 13 00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:29,578 Wait, shouldn't you be doing this with your girlfriend? 14 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,208 Oh, Evan? 15 00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:32,888 She's too polite to tell me 16 00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:34,808 that my kissing skills could improve 17 00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,941 but I know she wants me to be better. 18 00:00:36,943 --> 00:00:37,958 Yeah. 19 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,188 Did she say something to you? 20 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:40,188 What? 21 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,078 No. 22 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:41,911 No. 23 00:00:41,913 --> 00:00:43,848 She said nothing to be about you being a bad kisser. 24 00:00:43,850 --> 00:00:45,228 She said I was a bad kisser? 25 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,680 She didn't but 26 00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:49,468 okay, let's practice. 27 00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:51,613 Kiss me like you kiss her. 28 00:00:51,615 --> 00:00:54,698 (MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC) 29 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:00,327 How was I? 30 00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:01,162 Great. 31 00:01:02,989 --> 00:01:04,517 I am a bad kisser. 32 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:07,447 Maybe you should open your mouth a little. 33 00:01:07,449 --> 00:01:08,807 Relax your lips. 34 00:01:08,809 --> 00:01:11,402 You wanna go from here to here. 35 00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:13,365 Okay. 36 00:01:22,059 --> 00:01:23,187 Okay, it's like you're pecking 37 00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:25,937 Like, "mwuah, mwuah," little kisses. 38 00:01:25,939 --> 00:01:30,027 Which is super sweet if that's what you're into. 39 00:01:30,029 --> 00:01:31,887 But that's no good. 40 00:01:31,889 --> 00:01:33,797 It's sort of like an extended version 41 00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:35,262 of kissing your sister. 42 00:01:35,264 --> 00:01:36,095 Ew. 43 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:37,049 Yeah, it's not hot. 44 00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:40,297 Listen, 45 00:01:40,299 --> 00:01:42,927 open your mouth, relax your lips, 46 00:01:42,929 --> 00:01:43,932 follow my lead. 47 00:01:55,268 --> 00:01:58,268 (SOMBER BEAT MUSIC) 48 00:02:07,196 --> 00:02:09,837 Wow, that was amazing, is that how it's supposed to be? 49 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:10,757 Yes. 50 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,947 You probably should've figured that out 51 00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:13,157 when you were like 13. 52 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,227 I wasn't kissing a lot of girls when I was 13. 53 00:02:16,229 --> 00:02:17,757 That's what boys are for. 54 00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:20,227 Lifting heavy boxes and practicing making out. 55 00:02:20,229 --> 00:02:22,287 Oh, you're a wizard, I can't wait to show Evan. 56 00:02:22,289 --> 00:02:23,817 Or is that too much? 57 00:02:23,819 --> 00:02:25,777 Definitely try it on Evan. 58 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:26,612 She'll love it. 59 00:02:29,139 --> 00:02:33,057 So, this has been super fun and not at all boring 60 00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,332 but I'm gonna go mingle. 61 00:02:36,293 --> 00:02:37,507 Why don't you go find Evan 62 00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:39,487 and show her all this fun stuff I just taught you. 63 00:02:39,489 --> 00:02:40,320 Are you kidding? 64 00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:41,552 I have so many questions. 65 00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:45,263 Oh, look, my drink is almost gone. 66 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:46,327 Why don't you get me another one 67 00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:49,786 and I'll go talk to people who aren't you. 68 00:02:51,579 --> 00:02:52,412 Ryan, 69 00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:56,697 you're the best friend a girl could have. 70 00:02:56,699 --> 00:02:58,217 Thanks. 71 00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,052 I know. 72 00:03:02,722 --> 00:03:05,889 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 73 00:03:20,728 --> 00:03:22,728 Why are we hiding away from the world? 74 00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:27,346 Because I have the good shit. 75 00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:29,116 Out there, they have snickelfritz, 76 00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:33,246 and this, this is 27 year old small batch Kentucky bourbon. 77 00:03:33,248 --> 00:03:34,866 And I don't like to share. 78 00:03:34,868 --> 00:03:35,986 Ever. 79 00:03:35,988 --> 00:03:37,238 You're sharing with me. 80 00:03:38,506 --> 00:03:40,876 That's because I'm one generous motherfucker. 81 00:03:40,878 --> 00:03:42,671 I'm a god unto my people. 82 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,746 This is older than I am. 83 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:47,966 How expensive is this? 84 00:03:47,968 --> 00:03:48,799 Very. 85 00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:50,509 Costs more than your dignity. 86 00:03:50,511 --> 00:03:51,926 Well that's not saying much. 87 00:03:51,928 --> 00:03:53,119 Skol. 88 00:03:53,121 --> 00:03:56,288 Of course it is, it's got ice in it. 89 00:03:57,398 --> 00:03:58,466 Hey, lezlords. 90 00:03:58,468 --> 00:03:59,836 Hate to break up the gay-gay meeting 91 00:03:59,838 --> 00:04:02,611 but your girlfriend is out there making out with Ryan. 92 00:04:03,478 --> 00:04:04,766 Really? 93 00:04:04,768 --> 00:04:07,386 I think she's giving her kissing lessons out of pity. 94 00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:08,936 Good, let's hope it works. 95 00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:10,426 It's really sad though. 96 00:04:10,428 --> 00:04:11,886 You might wanna get out there and stop her 97 00:04:11,888 --> 00:04:14,406 before she embarrasses herself anymore. 98 00:04:14,408 --> 00:04:15,241 Okay. 99 00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:22,960 Listen, my dad gave this to me when I quit smoking. 100 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,646 Very expensive. 101 00:04:24,648 --> 00:04:26,648 Guard it with your life. 102 00:04:28,888 --> 00:04:31,736 Evan, you never quit smoking. 103 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:32,888 He doesn't know that. 104 00:04:35,312 --> 00:04:36,472 You're beautiful. 105 00:04:36,474 --> 00:04:37,557 Never change. 106 00:04:39,018 --> 00:04:40,611 Hey, you wanna get fucked up? 107 00:04:41,526 --> 00:04:43,087 Yeah. 108 00:04:43,089 --> 00:04:44,901 TRISTA: Cool. 109 00:04:44,903 --> 00:04:45,736 Have fun. 110 00:04:50,118 --> 00:04:52,109 (THUDDING) 111 00:04:52,111 --> 00:04:54,694 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 112 00:05:12,029 --> 00:05:17,029 ♪ Make your feelings lie like a feather ♪ 113 00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:25,561 ♪ Don't let it harden in this cold weather ♪ 114 00:05:27,521 --> 00:05:31,427 ♪ We can be better friends ♪ 115 00:05:31,429 --> 00:05:33,457 ♪ I'm falling ♪ 116 00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:36,075 ♪ It's not our end ♪ 117 00:05:36,077 --> 00:05:40,895 ♪ You will see when we leave ♪ 118 00:05:40,897 --> 00:05:44,829 ♪ Together ♪ 119 00:05:44,831 --> 00:05:47,914 (MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC) 120 00:05:52,289 --> 00:05:53,120 Hi. 121 00:05:53,122 --> 00:05:54,724 Excuse me. (GASPING) 122 00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:56,976 (LAUGHING) 123 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:58,690 Excuse me, miss. 124 00:06:00,687 --> 00:06:03,625 I'd be careful walking around with two premium beverages 125 00:06:03,627 --> 00:06:05,325 when this party's down to six-pack of wine coolers 126 00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:06,565 and a bottle of Maneschewitz. 127 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,050 We could attract some unsavory characters. 128 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,515 Whose premium cocktail am I drinking? 129 00:06:13,517 --> 00:06:14,810 Let me guess. 130 00:06:15,956 --> 00:06:16,787 The spoiled little rich girl 131 00:06:16,789 --> 00:06:20,195 whose external locus of identity needs constant validation? 132 00:06:20,197 --> 00:06:22,995 BRIDGET: Validation is for parking, not people. 133 00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:24,728 Maybe the nurse practitioner and soon-to-be divorcee 134 00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:28,205 who readily expounds upon the virtues of anarcho-capitalism. 135 00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:29,855 I once dabbled in anarchism myself. 136 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,445 Bear in mind I was 15 and obsessed with Crass. 137 00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:34,365 Say what you will about the convenience of its tenets, 138 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:35,720 but at least it's an ethos. 139 00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,192 Perhaps you'd go for the very emo Jewish girl 140 00:06:38,194 --> 00:06:40,965 in the back room who's in dire need of companionship. 141 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,735 At least now we know who brought the Manischewitz. 142 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,568 What type are you? 143 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,207 I hate to break it to you, miss, 144 00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,695 but I am completely unavailable. 145 00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:50,585 How unfortunate. 146 00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:51,875 Who is the lucky lady? 147 00:06:51,877 --> 00:06:52,708 Forgive me, 148 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:55,910 I assume it's a women of whom you are speaking. 149 00:06:56,977 --> 00:06:58,305 No apology necessary. 150 00:06:58,307 --> 00:07:02,244 And yes it is a beautiful, brilliant, remarkable woman. 151 00:07:02,246 --> 00:07:03,077 Tell me more. 152 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:04,484 Blonde hair, blue eyes, 153 00:07:04,486 --> 00:07:06,794 about yeah high. 154 00:07:06,796 --> 00:07:10,144 She's a medieval scholar specializing in Dark Ages weaponry. 155 00:07:10,146 --> 00:07:11,924 She does sound remarkable 156 00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:13,574 and also very familiar. 157 00:07:13,576 --> 00:07:14,407 Maybe you know her. 158 00:07:14,409 --> 00:07:15,724 Her name is Bridget. 159 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:16,814 That's my name. 160 00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:17,814 She's supposed to be here tonight 161 00:07:17,816 --> 00:07:19,704 but I can't seem to find her. 162 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,914 Oh, this could be dangerous. 163 00:07:20,916 --> 00:07:22,304 She might see me flirting with you. 164 00:07:22,306 --> 00:07:23,874 Then what? 165 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,154 Well, I'm sure she wouldn't want me taking what's hers. 166 00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:28,094 I suppose I should seize the opportunity now 167 00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:29,233 and kiss you while I can. 168 00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,574 I wouldn't want to put you in harm's way. 169 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,163 I think you're worth the risk. 170 00:07:34,165 --> 00:07:37,415 (MUFFLED UPBEAT MUSIC) 171 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:45,465 Yes, yes. 172 00:07:46,602 --> 00:07:50,167 ♪ A future far away ♪ 173 00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:53,654 ♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪ 174 00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:57,587 ♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪ 175 00:07:57,589 --> 00:08:00,869 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 176 00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:05,871 ♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪ 177 00:08:07,985 --> 00:08:12,985 ♪ I would pave new frontiers for you ♪ 178 00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:20,111 ♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪ 179 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:27,250 ♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪ 180 00:08:27,346 --> 00:08:30,256 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 181 00:08:30,258 --> 00:08:34,227 ♪ Through complication ♪ 182 00:08:34,229 --> 00:08:37,050 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 183 00:08:37,052 --> 00:08:41,341 ♪ Through the unknown ♪ 184 00:08:41,343 --> 00:08:44,130 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 185 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:47,859 ♪ With determination ♪ 186 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,052 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 187 00:08:51,054 --> 00:08:56,054 ♪ I'll make sure you never be alone ♪ 188 00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:02,809 ♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪ 189 00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:09,910 ♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪ 190 00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:17,087 ♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪ 191 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:24,064 ♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪ 192 00:09:24,066 --> 00:09:26,184 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 193 00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:31,114 ♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪ 194 00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:33,438 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 195 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:38,283 ♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪ 196 00:09:38,285 --> 00:09:40,684 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 197 00:09:40,686 --> 00:09:41,583 (GLASS SHATTERING) 198 00:09:41,585 --> 00:09:43,752 (MOANING) 199 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:50,467 (WHIMPERING) 200 00:09:53,064 --> 00:09:53,897 Evan? 201 00:09:58,086 --> 00:09:59,274 Evan. 202 00:09:59,276 --> 00:10:00,295 What? 203 00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:03,565 I think there's someone in the kitchen. 204 00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:04,949 I think there's someone in the kitchen. 205 00:10:04,951 --> 00:10:05,784 Huh? 206 00:10:07,556 --> 00:10:08,939 Get my ax. 207 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:09,774 Help me get my ax. 208 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,090 (GROANING) 209 00:10:20,511 --> 00:10:21,876 (SCREAMING) 210 00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:22,709 Ryan! 211 00:10:22,711 --> 00:10:23,542 Oh my God. 212 00:10:23,544 --> 00:10:25,273 I didn't mean to wake you guys up. 213 00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:27,553 How is she in here? 214 00:10:27,555 --> 00:10:32,503 I gave her a key and a code to the alarm system, sorry. 215 00:10:32,505 --> 00:10:35,095 RYAN: Bridget, you look hot. 216 00:10:35,097 --> 00:10:36,385 Is that La Perla? 217 00:10:36,387 --> 00:10:38,703 No, I'd rather have Victoria Secret 218 00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:41,163 and an extra five hundred bucks in my pocket. 219 00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:43,023 To what do we owe the honor of your home invasion? 220 00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:45,318 Guys, this is intense. 221 00:10:46,245 --> 00:10:47,093 I've been poisoned. 222 00:10:47,095 --> 00:10:47,926 BRIDGET: What? 223 00:10:47,928 --> 00:10:49,309 Yeah, someone tried to dose me. 224 00:10:49,311 --> 00:10:50,142 BRIDGET: Who? 225 00:10:50,144 --> 00:10:52,823 I don't know but my drink tasted really funny 226 00:10:52,825 --> 00:10:55,283 and I felt really weird, so I left and came here. 227 00:10:55,285 --> 00:10:57,133 Do we need to take you to the hospital? 228 00:10:57,135 --> 00:10:58,364 No. 229 00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,532 I only had one sip. 230 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,434 I just feel way drunker than I should. 231 00:11:02,404 --> 00:11:06,062 Okay, well what did you do with the rest of the drink? 232 00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:09,042 I gave it to Dov and told her to take care of it. 233 00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,172 Ryan, this is very important. 234 00:11:11,174 --> 00:11:14,642 Now what exactly did you say to Dov? 235 00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:16,537 I told her to take care of it. 236 00:11:17,924 --> 00:11:18,757 Oh no. 237 00:11:20,684 --> 00:11:23,183 We're leaving, now! 238 00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:25,602 (BEAT MUSIC) 239 00:11:34,437 --> 00:11:35,268 BRIDGET: What's happening? 240 00:11:35,270 --> 00:11:36,101 She's fucked up. 241 00:11:36,103 --> 00:11:36,934 Who knows? 242 00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:38,762 Rope, G, K. 243 00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:39,750 DOV: L-M-N-O-P. 244 00:11:39,752 --> 00:11:41,295 Oh my God, it's all my fault. 245 00:11:41,297 --> 00:11:42,128 (LAUGHING) 246 00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:43,862 TRISTA: I knew you idiots had a hand in this. 247 00:11:43,864 --> 00:11:44,762 I didn't know. 248 00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:47,299 Someone roofied me and I gave it to Dov 249 00:11:47,301 --> 00:11:48,942 and I guess I didn't make it clear. 250 00:11:48,944 --> 00:11:51,222 Trista, you're a nurse, what's the prognosis? 251 00:11:51,224 --> 00:11:53,192 TRISTA: It depends on how much she had. 252 00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:54,025 Just one drink. 253 00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,572 Shouldn't we call the police? 254 00:11:55,574 --> 00:11:57,182 I mean, we need to figure out who did this. 255 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,742 TRISTA: The police don't give a shit about us. 256 00:11:58,744 --> 00:11:59,780 Is that true? 257 00:11:59,782 --> 00:12:02,132 EVAN: Will she be needing medical attention? 258 00:12:03,554 --> 00:12:04,672 Just keep an eye on her. 259 00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:07,392 DOV: You know, I can hear everything you're saying. 260 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,363 How is she still conscience? 261 00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,689 She must've not had enough to pass out. 262 00:12:11,691 --> 00:12:13,572 I have a strong constitution. 263 00:12:13,574 --> 00:12:15,772 I've built up a really high tolerance 264 00:12:15,774 --> 00:12:17,247 to controlled substances. 265 00:12:18,664 --> 00:12:20,214 Get those people out of here. 266 00:12:24,484 --> 00:12:25,315 RYAN: Party's over! 267 00:12:25,317 --> 00:12:26,208 TRISTA: Everybody get out! 268 00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:27,041 WOMAN: What? 269 00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:27,874 RYAN: Get out! 270 00:12:27,876 --> 00:12:28,707 WOMAN: Why? 271 00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:30,068 (PARTY MEMBERS GROANING) 272 00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,766 RYAN: Out, come on, get out! 273 00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:32,635 Out! 274 00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:33,541 Everybody get out! 275 00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:34,772 We have to, now! 276 00:12:34,774 --> 00:12:36,405 No, no, it's too much. 277 00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,487 RYAN: Out, out, now, come on! 278 00:12:41,753 --> 00:12:42,586 Come on! 279 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,416 (LAUGHING) 280 00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:52,662 I don't know if I'm laughing so much because I'm so high 281 00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:55,642 or because I'm dying. 282 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:56,917 You're not dying. 283 00:12:58,114 --> 00:12:59,861 We're all dying. 284 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,113 She's being fatalistic, that's a good sign. 285 00:13:04,403 --> 00:13:05,236 That's it. 286 00:13:07,294 --> 00:13:08,786 Don't worry, girl. 287 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:09,621 I got you. 288 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:12,206 Evan? 289 00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:16,406 There's something really major I wanna tell you right now. 290 00:13:21,853 --> 00:13:24,020 (GAGGING) 291 00:13:26,693 --> 00:13:29,466 Did you know they had bras in the 14th Century? 292 00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:33,779 Does that mean they also had a second base? 293 00:13:33,781 --> 00:13:36,031 (GIGGLING) 294 00:13:40,115 --> 00:13:41,532 I have some news. 295 00:13:42,503 --> 00:13:43,366 My father, 296 00:13:44,293 --> 00:13:46,681 my father is running for Senate. 297 00:13:46,683 --> 00:13:47,911 State or? 298 00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:49,341 US Senate. 299 00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:51,091 And he wants me to be campaign chair. 300 00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:52,191 Governor wasn't enough? 301 00:13:52,193 --> 00:13:54,791 For my father, nothing is ever enough. 302 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,651 Must run in the family. 303 00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:58,131 You have to do it. 304 00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,131 I will. 305 00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:00,741 There's one catch. 306 00:14:00,743 --> 00:14:02,801 He can't win as a Democrat again. 307 00:14:02,803 --> 00:14:04,401 This time he has to run as... 308 00:14:04,403 --> 00:14:05,651 A Libertarian? 309 00:14:05,653 --> 00:14:06,726 As a Republican. 310 00:14:08,383 --> 00:14:10,931 You can't support a Republican candidate. 311 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,161 I can if he's my dad. 312 00:14:12,163 --> 00:14:14,611 He'll be Republican in name only. 313 00:14:14,613 --> 00:14:16,001 He's a huge supporter of gay rights 314 00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:17,651 and everyone knows his daughter's a homo. 315 00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:18,566 A major one. 316 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,831 What about women's rights and abortion rights? 317 00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,348 And immigrants' rights? 318 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:25,581 I'm not an immigrant. 319 00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:26,921 Your grandparents were. 320 00:14:26,923 --> 00:14:28,161 Someone's gonna chair his campaign, 321 00:14:28,163 --> 00:14:29,313 it might as well be me. 322 00:14:32,643 --> 00:14:34,031 I just don't want you to do something 323 00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,660 you're later going to regret. 324 00:14:35,662 --> 00:14:37,729 Regret it my favorite pastime. 325 00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:39,571 Every day I can pass along to him 326 00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:41,031 your Marxist feminist dialectic. 327 00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:44,638 Oh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me. 328 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,758 (CHUCKLING) 329 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,927 (MOANING) 330 00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:53,966 Marry me. 331 00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:57,805 I have other plans for today. 332 00:14:57,807 --> 00:15:00,056 (LAUGHING) 333 00:15:01,829 --> 00:15:02,861 (MOANING) 334 00:15:02,863 --> 00:15:04,090 Oh, you taste so sweet. 335 00:15:04,092 --> 00:15:06,460 You taste better than being thin feels. 336 00:15:06,462 --> 00:15:08,712 (GIGGLING) 337 00:15:09,882 --> 00:15:12,550 Is there another intruder in the house? 338 00:15:12,552 --> 00:15:13,730 The very same one. 339 00:15:13,732 --> 00:15:15,670 I let Ryan in after you crashed last night. 340 00:15:15,672 --> 00:15:18,010 She didn't want to sleep alone in her new apartment. 341 00:15:18,012 --> 00:15:20,305 We're not running a social services agency. 342 00:15:22,694 --> 00:15:25,920 I don't know about you guys but I am ready for some vodka. 343 00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:27,175 Morning. 344 00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:30,344 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 345 00:15:34,862 --> 00:15:38,660 So I get some phone call from England, collect, 346 00:15:38,662 --> 00:15:40,980 and it's some nurse from some hospital 347 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,960 informing me that my father is on his deathbed. 348 00:15:43,962 --> 00:15:45,897 Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry. 349 00:15:45,899 --> 00:15:47,460 I'm not. 350 00:15:47,462 --> 00:15:49,920 The old bastard has been alive long enough. 351 00:15:49,922 --> 00:15:51,060 I'm ready for him to kick the bucket 352 00:15:51,062 --> 00:15:52,400 so I can collect my inheritance. 353 00:15:52,402 --> 00:15:53,600 I thought you guys got along pretty well. 354 00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:55,690 We had a fabulous arrangement. 355 00:15:55,692 --> 00:15:57,740 He pays me five grand a month 356 00:15:57,742 --> 00:16:00,220 and his embarrassment of a homosexual daughter 357 00:16:00,222 --> 00:16:02,678 stays on a different continent and out of his life. 358 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,550 Oh, I didn't know it was that bad. 359 00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:05,884 It could be worse. 360 00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:09,325 When I graduated, his initial offer was three thousand. 361 00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:11,585 Hey, babe. 362 00:16:14,209 --> 00:16:16,440 Have a nice day, ladies. 363 00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,895 Where's my kiss? 364 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:22,070 (LAUGHING) 365 00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,060 Hey, is Evan going to work? 366 00:16:24,062 --> 00:16:25,660 But it's Saturday. 367 00:16:25,662 --> 00:16:28,340 Wait, sorry, since when has Evan had a job? 368 00:16:28,342 --> 00:16:30,299 Since her dad's running for Senate. 369 00:16:31,622 --> 00:16:33,215 And now, 370 00:16:34,712 --> 00:16:36,440 she's a Republican. 371 00:16:36,442 --> 00:16:38,230 Oh my God. 372 00:16:38,232 --> 00:16:39,780 She's a sellout. 373 00:16:39,782 --> 00:16:42,500 What happened to our dead-dog-dyke-Democrat? 374 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,320 She's rolling over and playing conservative. 375 00:16:45,322 --> 00:16:48,600 And she keeps pushing me to marry her. 376 00:16:48,602 --> 00:16:49,740 I know. 377 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,060 She won't stop taking about it. 378 00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:53,730 Don't you want to? 379 00:16:53,732 --> 00:16:54,950 Yeah. 380 00:16:54,952 --> 00:16:55,785 Just 381 00:16:57,052 --> 00:16:58,830 not now. 382 00:16:58,832 --> 00:17:00,489 You're gonna need some of this. 383 00:17:00,491 --> 00:17:03,309 Glad to see last night didn't put you off your game. 384 00:17:03,311 --> 00:17:04,261 What do you mean? 385 00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:08,084 You got roofied. 386 00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:11,114 Oh, right. 387 00:17:12,871 --> 00:17:14,079 Yeah. 388 00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:14,914 Well, 389 00:17:15,861 --> 00:17:17,855 so here's to getting married, then. 390 00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:18,688 And selling out. 391 00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:20,188 Aren't those the same thing? 392 00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:29,259 DOV: Why does the universe go through 393 00:17:29,261 --> 00:17:30,924 all bother of existing at all? 394 00:17:31,761 --> 00:17:34,552 Having a bout of existential despair, I see. 395 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,184 What's the purpose of life? 396 00:17:38,281 --> 00:17:39,789 That's a yes. 397 00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:40,999 Well, 398 00:17:41,001 --> 00:17:43,529 most losers, present company included, 399 00:17:43,531 --> 00:17:44,971 would say it's 400 00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:47,839 love. 401 00:17:47,841 --> 00:17:48,672 Wrong. 402 00:17:48,674 --> 00:17:51,169 Love is a capitalist scheme that is pre-packaged 403 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:53,059 and peddled to the masses. 404 00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:54,329 It's the perfect racket. 405 00:17:54,331 --> 00:17:56,404 It's selling dreams for cash. 406 00:17:57,301 --> 00:17:58,159 I thought you'd be happy 407 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,361 once Evan got you that job at the newspaper. 408 00:18:01,441 --> 00:18:04,049 Typing up engagement announcements isn't writing. 409 00:18:04,051 --> 00:18:05,394 Although, 410 00:18:05,396 --> 00:18:09,009 I would recommend it to our government as a form of torture. 411 00:18:09,011 --> 00:18:10,709 You are so emo. 412 00:18:10,711 --> 00:18:12,011 You just need to get laid. 413 00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:15,031 Love is an illusion. 414 00:18:18,501 --> 00:18:19,551 So what is it then? 415 00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:22,072 What's what? 416 00:18:22,074 --> 00:18:23,759 TRISTA: Your original question. 417 00:18:23,761 --> 00:18:24,761 The purpose of life. 418 00:18:26,201 --> 00:18:27,099 I don't know. 419 00:18:27,101 --> 00:18:27,934 I do. 420 00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:31,239 It's to have as much fun as we can 421 00:18:31,241 --> 00:18:33,141 before we're all sent to burn in Hell. 422 00:18:39,807 --> 00:18:42,890 (MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC) 423 00:18:46,844 --> 00:18:49,094 (KNOCKING) 424 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,259 Up for some divorce proceedings? 425 00:18:55,261 --> 00:18:56,361 Nice to see you too. 426 00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:00,028 Good to be back. 427 00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:02,108 I like what you've done with the place. 428 00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:02,953 I guess. 429 00:19:05,808 --> 00:19:08,391 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 430 00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:18,043 And here I thought this wasn't gonna be an amicable divorce. 431 00:19:23,738 --> 00:19:26,321 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 432 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,965 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 433 00:19:38,915 --> 00:19:41,165 (KNOCKING) 434 00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:47,453 Come in, come in. 435 00:19:48,902 --> 00:19:51,858 I don't think you've seen this place since I've moved here. 436 00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:54,628 Business must be booming in the tattoo industry. 437 00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:56,915 This world is full of un-inked flesh. 438 00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:59,368 I'm going to change real fast. 439 00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,698 Make us a drink. 440 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,808 Or one for each of us. 441 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,413 You know what I'm saying. 442 00:20:12,230 --> 00:20:13,808 Ryan! 443 00:20:13,810 --> 00:20:15,888 How are you affording all this? 444 00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:16,988 RYAN: Oh, you now, 445 00:20:16,990 --> 00:20:18,638 things are going really well at the shop 446 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,558 and my dad helps me financially. 447 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,478 Bridget was telling me about that. 448 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,748 She's worried about you. 449 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,008 RYAN: Why? 450 00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:28,383 I'm doing fabulously. 451 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:44,023 Would you like to mix that with something? 452 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,170 I like it straight. 453 00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,113 Pretty much the only thing I like straight. 454 00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:55,435 Have a seat. 455 00:20:55,437 --> 00:20:56,368 (CHUCKLING) 456 00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:57,738 Tell me why I suddenly feel 457 00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:58,708 like I need to have a cigarette. 458 00:20:58,710 --> 00:21:00,359 I'm about to drop a truth bomb. 459 00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:02,677 In your own home? 460 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,612 That's an act of domestic terrorism. 461 00:21:09,249 --> 00:21:10,162 Bombs away. 462 00:21:15,889 --> 00:21:18,172 Dov, you have a major problem. 463 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,047 Why do I feel like I'm at an intervention? 464 00:21:21,049 --> 00:21:22,749 Because I'm interventioning you. 465 00:21:24,439 --> 00:21:25,307 Okay. 466 00:21:25,309 --> 00:21:28,077 What's my drug of choice? 467 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,657 I want you to know that I understand you 468 00:21:29,659 --> 00:21:31,637 better than you realize. 469 00:21:31,639 --> 00:21:33,827 I think about you all the time, 470 00:21:33,829 --> 00:21:36,367 about what your life must be like 471 00:21:36,369 --> 00:21:37,969 and I know what your problem is. 472 00:21:38,889 --> 00:21:40,617 This should be spectacular. 473 00:21:40,619 --> 00:21:42,380 You're madly in love with Evan. 474 00:21:42,382 --> 00:21:44,632 (COUGHING) 475 00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:47,440 Evan? 476 00:21:47,442 --> 00:21:48,273 Yes. 477 00:21:48,275 --> 00:21:49,219 You're in love with her. 478 00:21:50,419 --> 00:21:53,017 I'm sorry, did someone just turn on the batshit signal? 479 00:21:53,019 --> 00:21:53,850 It's like I've said. 480 00:21:53,852 --> 00:21:55,777 I've given a lot of thought to your life situation 481 00:21:55,779 --> 00:21:58,257 and I've had some major insights. 482 00:21:58,259 --> 00:21:59,787 Enlighten me. 483 00:21:59,789 --> 00:22:02,937 You need a girl who's gonna treat you like a lady. 484 00:22:02,939 --> 00:22:03,947 As apposed to... 485 00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:06,567 As apposed to most girls who take one look 486 00:22:06,569 --> 00:22:09,907 at your bad girl persona and immediately turn into 487 00:22:09,909 --> 00:22:12,277 pillow princesses and starfish. 488 00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:13,967 Starfish? 489 00:22:13,969 --> 00:22:16,847 They take their arms and their legs 490 00:22:16,849 --> 00:22:18,549 and they make you do all the work. 491 00:22:23,049 --> 00:22:25,757 You need someone who will open doors for you. 492 00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,987 Put her hand on the small of your back, 493 00:22:28,989 --> 00:22:33,057 grab you by the back of your head and kiss you. 494 00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:35,487 All the things a girl needs to make her feel like a woman. 495 00:22:35,489 --> 00:22:39,677 And you know that Evan can do that for you. 496 00:22:39,679 --> 00:22:41,437 Sounds like you're the one that's in love with her. 497 00:22:41,439 --> 00:22:43,427 Please, me? 498 00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:47,047 If I wanted Evan, I'd have had her already. 499 00:22:47,049 --> 00:22:50,287 Look, I get it, Evan is our fearless leader but 500 00:22:50,289 --> 00:22:52,747 she's also in a serious longest of terms relationship 501 00:22:52,749 --> 00:22:53,607 with my best friend. 502 00:22:53,609 --> 00:22:55,987 Ryan, there are delusional states 503 00:22:55,989 --> 00:22:57,207 and there's full on psychosis. 504 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,042 Prove it. 505 00:22:59,108 --> 00:23:00,566 Kiss me. 506 00:23:00,568 --> 00:23:02,126 No, I'm not Bridget. 507 00:23:02,128 --> 00:23:03,366 You heard about that? 508 00:23:03,368 --> 00:23:05,236 Kissing lessons out of pity? 509 00:23:05,238 --> 00:23:06,386 It got around. 510 00:23:06,388 --> 00:23:08,066 A concept I'm sure you're familiar with. 511 00:23:08,068 --> 00:23:09,566 Come on. 512 00:23:09,568 --> 00:23:11,926 Everyone wants to kiss me. 513 00:23:11,928 --> 00:23:13,751 Unless they're in love with Evan. 514 00:23:16,368 --> 00:23:18,966 Once again, you've taken this too far. 515 00:23:18,968 --> 00:23:20,546 Let's take it farther. 516 00:23:20,548 --> 00:23:22,336 This is the kind of initiative you need to show 517 00:23:22,338 --> 00:23:23,688 when you're pursuing women. 518 00:23:25,651 --> 00:23:27,716 (YELPING) 519 00:23:27,718 --> 00:23:29,726 Oh my God, if you weren't you, 520 00:23:29,728 --> 00:23:31,646 I'd be totally turned on right now. 521 00:23:31,648 --> 00:23:34,461 Please, cancel my subscription to your issues. 522 00:23:36,058 --> 00:23:37,558 You're not leaving, are you? 523 00:23:39,571 --> 00:23:42,516 Well, I appreciate your attempted analysis of my psyche. 524 00:23:42,518 --> 00:23:44,968 Your conclusion couldn't be further from reality. 525 00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,336 I know you're not telling the truth. 526 00:23:48,338 --> 00:23:50,196 You can lie to me and you can lie to the whole world 527 00:23:50,198 --> 00:23:52,486 but the one person you can't lie to is yourself. 528 00:23:52,488 --> 00:23:54,946 On the contrary, I exile in that department. 529 00:23:54,948 --> 00:23:57,241 And, on that note, I bid you adieu. 530 00:24:01,538 --> 00:24:04,841 Apparently Cleopatra wasn't the only queen of denial. 531 00:24:11,369 --> 00:24:14,526 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 532 00:24:14,528 --> 00:24:15,391 I miss this. 533 00:24:16,468 --> 00:24:18,576 Yeah, don't get any ideas. 534 00:24:18,578 --> 00:24:19,409 Huh? 535 00:24:19,411 --> 00:24:20,668 This is a one time thing. 536 00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:22,809 A one night stand. 537 00:24:22,811 --> 00:24:25,356 How do you have a one night stand with your wife? 538 00:24:25,358 --> 00:24:28,446 Until this divorce is final, we are married in name only. 539 00:24:28,448 --> 00:24:29,553 Wait, 540 00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:31,846 you didn't think we were getting back together, did you? 541 00:24:31,848 --> 00:24:33,976 Gee, Paige, when you attacked me when I walked in the door 542 00:24:33,978 --> 00:24:35,786 and we made mad, passionate love. 543 00:24:35,788 --> 00:24:38,806 Yes, I thought maybe our relationship status was changing. 544 00:24:38,808 --> 00:24:39,916 So immature. 545 00:24:39,918 --> 00:24:41,818 This is exactly why I'm divorcing you. 546 00:24:42,893 --> 00:24:44,016 What the fuck? 547 00:24:44,018 --> 00:24:45,956 Grow up. 548 00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:46,916 You know better. 549 00:24:46,918 --> 00:24:48,746 No, Paige, tell me. 550 00:24:48,748 --> 00:24:50,386 Why am I divorcing you? 551 00:24:50,388 --> 00:24:52,586 Maybe it's because you're never awake before noon. 552 00:24:52,588 --> 00:24:54,426 Or the constant partying. 553 00:24:54,428 --> 00:24:55,976 Or maybe it's the white stuff 554 00:24:55,978 --> 00:24:57,386 you're constantly shoving up your nose. 555 00:24:57,388 --> 00:24:58,509 I'm a nurse. 556 00:24:58,511 --> 00:25:00,075 I have to stay alert. 557 00:25:00,077 --> 00:25:01,985 I keep kids alive. 558 00:25:01,987 --> 00:25:04,137 Don't hide behind the pillar of altruism. 559 00:25:05,947 --> 00:25:07,768 You just stand there and criticize me. 560 00:25:07,770 --> 00:25:08,601 Easy for you, 561 00:25:08,603 --> 00:25:10,195 you've never experienced that kind of pressure. 562 00:25:10,197 --> 00:25:12,065 Yeah, I like nose candy. 563 00:25:12,067 --> 00:25:13,435 I should've been a bigger priority. 564 00:25:13,437 --> 00:25:15,225 Than the kids dying in the pediatric ward? 565 00:25:15,227 --> 00:25:17,205 Yeah, like when I asked you to quit blow. 566 00:25:17,207 --> 00:25:19,025 You should have for us. 567 00:25:19,027 --> 00:25:20,295 For you. 568 00:25:20,297 --> 00:25:22,005 Fuck, Paige, you are so selfish. 569 00:25:22,007 --> 00:25:23,435 Why am I still in love with you? 570 00:25:23,437 --> 00:25:26,337 Don't ask me because I'm certainly not in love with you. 571 00:25:29,567 --> 00:25:31,221 This is heavier than I thought it would be. 572 00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:32,293 (LAUGHING) 573 00:25:32,295 --> 00:25:33,583 Oh yeah. 574 00:25:33,585 --> 00:25:36,283 They didn't have refined steal yet, duh. 575 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,235 (GIGGLING) 576 00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,965 By the late 12th Century, 577 00:25:39,967 --> 00:25:42,655 so the swords in western Europe had evolved 578 00:25:42,657 --> 00:25:47,515 into cruciform weapons with circular wheel pommels, usually, 579 00:25:47,517 --> 00:25:49,825 and normally with a fuller or bloodgroove 580 00:25:49,827 --> 00:25:51,027 running down the center. 581 00:25:52,357 --> 00:25:54,469 I feel like Wonder Woman. 582 00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:55,775 (LAUGHING) 583 00:25:55,777 --> 00:25:56,627 Coffee's ready. 584 00:25:57,787 --> 00:25:59,755 Can I set this down? 585 00:25:59,757 --> 00:26:01,435 BRIDGET: Only with great caution. 586 00:26:01,437 --> 00:26:02,270 Okay. 587 00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:09,690 Do I act like I'm attracted to Evan? 588 00:26:10,567 --> 00:26:11,695 What? No. 589 00:26:11,697 --> 00:26:13,725 Where'd you even get that idea? 590 00:26:13,727 --> 00:26:16,365 Yeah, Ryan believes I'm secretly in love with her. 591 00:26:16,367 --> 00:26:17,575 Oh, Ryan. 592 00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:20,265 She certainly has a flair for the dramatic, doesn't she? 593 00:26:20,267 --> 00:26:22,890 I mean, she should be writing episodes for Dynasty. 594 00:26:23,849 --> 00:26:25,418 (LAUGHING) 595 00:26:25,420 --> 00:26:28,747 Unless, there's something you're not telling me. 596 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,755 Ryan, I worry about her. 597 00:26:34,757 --> 00:26:37,785 I mean, the situation with her father. 598 00:26:37,787 --> 00:26:40,705 It's like everyone's got something to hide, 599 00:26:40,707 --> 00:26:43,585 like we're all keeping a secret 600 00:26:43,587 --> 00:26:46,110 we desperately need to stay concealed. 601 00:26:47,057 --> 00:26:48,950 I wouldn't know anything about that. 602 00:26:50,252 --> 00:26:52,153 (YELPING) 603 00:26:52,155 --> 00:26:53,165 (GROANING) 604 00:26:53,167 --> 00:26:56,025 How is it that I can restore ancient weaponry 605 00:26:56,027 --> 00:26:58,704 but I can't make a cup of coffee without injuring myself? 606 00:26:58,706 --> 00:27:00,834 Because you focus on the things you love, 607 00:27:00,836 --> 00:27:02,734 like weapons and friends, with such intensity 608 00:27:02,736 --> 00:27:05,274 that not pouring scolding hot water on yourself 609 00:27:05,276 --> 00:27:07,304 just simply fades into the background. 610 00:27:07,306 --> 00:27:08,951 Well maybe I'm just clumsy. 611 00:27:08,953 --> 00:27:13,217 Clumsy on you is adorable. 612 00:27:13,219 --> 00:27:16,429 You would be such a good girlfriend. 613 00:27:17,476 --> 00:27:20,164 Why don't you start dating, put yourself out there? 614 00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:23,294 I don't believe in the grand idea of romance. 615 00:27:23,296 --> 00:27:25,396 Well, surely you've been in love before. 616 00:27:26,616 --> 00:27:28,684 Do you know how to make the coffee with the foam or... 617 00:27:28,686 --> 00:27:30,489 Don't evade the topic. 618 00:27:32,968 --> 00:27:33,801 Ugh. 619 00:27:34,956 --> 00:27:37,614 When I was in high school 620 00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:39,304 there was a girl, Whitney Merritt, 621 00:27:39,306 --> 00:27:40,994 she was a senior, I was a sophomore 622 00:27:40,996 --> 00:27:43,474 and she would drive me home everyday from school 623 00:27:43,476 --> 00:27:46,026 in a red Mustang, so I didn't have to take the bus. 624 00:27:47,396 --> 00:27:49,774 She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen 625 00:27:49,776 --> 00:27:52,394 and I convinced myself that we were destined to be together 626 00:27:52,396 --> 00:27:55,339 and at the end of the school year, I professed my love. 627 00:27:57,066 --> 00:27:58,634 And? 628 00:27:58,636 --> 00:28:00,462 Well, I never heard from her again. 629 00:28:00,464 --> 00:28:02,634 She went to the Hamptons for the summer 630 00:28:02,636 --> 00:28:04,986 and then straight to a private woman's college. 631 00:28:05,826 --> 00:28:06,854 I'm still looking for her. 632 00:28:06,856 --> 00:28:09,999 But not her, specifically, because that would be creepy. 633 00:28:11,036 --> 00:28:13,134 But I'm looking to feel that way, I felt about her, 634 00:28:13,136 --> 00:28:14,259 with someone else. 635 00:28:15,373 --> 00:28:18,484 In that sense, I guess, I'll always be chasing Whitney. 636 00:28:18,486 --> 00:28:19,319 So, 637 00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,004 this is there you got all the angst 638 00:28:23,006 --> 00:28:24,899 that inspired you to become a writer. 639 00:28:25,743 --> 00:28:26,949 I'm afraid it did. 640 00:28:28,676 --> 00:28:31,264 Yeah, my mom could tell I was really emotionally devastated 641 00:28:31,266 --> 00:28:33,644 and we didn't have much 642 00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:35,664 but she bought me this used lime green iBook 643 00:28:35,666 --> 00:28:38,374 into which I just poured by soul. 644 00:28:38,376 --> 00:28:40,514 And through which you began your journey 645 00:28:40,516 --> 00:28:43,084 to becoming one of the great novelists of our time. 646 00:28:43,086 --> 00:28:44,975 More like my journey to writing engagement announcements 647 00:28:44,977 --> 00:28:46,519 and other forms of drivel. 648 00:28:48,066 --> 00:28:48,899 What I need 649 00:28:50,146 --> 00:28:51,129 is inspiration. 650 00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:54,099 I'm currently stuck in writers' gridlock. 651 00:28:55,046 --> 00:28:56,824 Maybe 652 00:28:56,826 --> 00:28:59,735 what you need is to, you know. 653 00:29:02,185 --> 00:29:03,128 Get laid? 654 00:29:04,112 --> 00:29:06,998 Yeah, that seems to be the consensus. 655 00:29:10,175 --> 00:29:11,008 Hello, ladies. 656 00:29:11,991 --> 00:29:13,058 Aww. 657 00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:15,393 (CHUCKLING) 658 00:29:16,795 --> 00:29:18,373 Hello, dear. 659 00:29:18,375 --> 00:29:20,075 Productive day in zee noo Germany? 660 00:29:21,881 --> 00:29:24,497 (LAUGHING) 661 00:29:24,499 --> 00:29:25,330 What is it? 662 00:29:25,332 --> 00:29:26,295 Something medieval. 663 00:29:28,689 --> 00:29:30,856 (GASPING) 664 00:29:33,525 --> 00:29:35,753 Time for Middle East peace conference. 665 00:29:35,755 --> 00:29:36,598 Oh, okay. 666 00:29:39,842 --> 00:29:41,603 I have to marry Bridget, now. 667 00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:42,723 Why? 668 00:29:42,725 --> 00:29:44,075 Did you get her knocked up? 669 00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:46,133 Kidding. 670 00:29:46,135 --> 00:29:47,443 What's the rush? 671 00:29:47,445 --> 00:29:48,993 Dov, when you meet the girl of your dreams 672 00:29:48,995 --> 00:29:50,193 and you look into her eyes, 673 00:29:50,195 --> 00:29:51,853 you'll understand that the most important thing 674 00:29:51,855 --> 00:29:53,498 is never letting her go. 675 00:29:55,249 --> 00:29:57,998 I wouldn't know anything about that either. 676 00:29:59,445 --> 00:30:01,301 I'm gonna kill myself. 677 00:30:01,303 --> 00:30:02,553 It's only coffee, Evan. 678 00:30:05,305 --> 00:30:07,443 Oops, you did it again. 679 00:30:07,445 --> 00:30:08,276 Who is she? 680 00:30:08,278 --> 00:30:11,223 An intern at my father's campaign headquarters. 681 00:30:11,225 --> 00:30:13,003 I hate cliches. 682 00:30:13,005 --> 00:30:13,903 How old? 683 00:30:13,905 --> 00:30:15,113 She's in college. 684 00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:15,946 Not what I asked. 685 00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:17,411 19. 686 00:30:17,413 --> 00:30:18,320 Whoa, you like to play low numbers. 687 00:30:18,322 --> 00:30:19,973 I like to win. 688 00:30:19,975 --> 00:30:21,089 It's not a casino. 689 00:30:21,091 --> 00:30:23,533 It's a game, it's all a game. 690 00:30:23,535 --> 00:30:26,943 I'm just thinking that if you can't stop screwing around, 691 00:30:26,945 --> 00:30:29,773 you should probably let Bridget go and find someone else. 692 00:30:29,775 --> 00:30:32,025 (GROANING) 693 00:30:34,375 --> 00:30:36,657 I just need her to marry me. 694 00:30:36,659 --> 00:30:38,783 DOV: Do you really feel that marriage 695 00:30:38,785 --> 00:30:40,608 is gonna make you stop cheating on Bridget? 696 00:30:40,610 --> 00:30:41,763 Yes. 697 00:30:41,765 --> 00:30:43,460 Hey, this girl, she didn't touch me. 698 00:30:43,462 --> 00:30:45,372 It' a one way street, you understand? 699 00:30:45,374 --> 00:30:47,023 Well you're driving down it in the wrong direction. 700 00:30:47,025 --> 00:30:49,568 What's your philosophy, Evan, eating isn't cheating? 701 00:30:56,791 --> 00:31:00,123 It's entirely historically inaccurate. 702 00:31:01,244 --> 00:31:02,369 And I love it. 703 00:31:02,371 --> 00:31:04,349 (GIGGLING) 704 00:31:04,351 --> 00:31:05,184 My baby. 705 00:31:07,518 --> 00:31:12,518 I guess I'll wear it all the time. 706 00:31:14,759 --> 00:31:17,937 (SOMBER BEAT MUSIC) 707 00:31:17,939 --> 00:31:22,939 ♪ Float around in silence ♪ 708 00:31:23,035 --> 00:31:28,035 ♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪ 709 00:31:28,182 --> 00:31:33,182 ♪ Float around in silence ♪ 710 00:31:33,277 --> 00:31:38,277 ♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪ 711 00:31:38,424 --> 00:31:43,424 ♪ Float around in silence ♪ 712 00:31:43,545 --> 00:31:46,979 ♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪ 713 00:31:46,981 --> 00:31:47,812 Hey. 714 00:31:47,814 --> 00:31:49,772 BRIDGET: Hey, did Dov leave? 715 00:31:49,774 --> 00:31:51,912 No, she left right after we ate. 716 00:31:51,914 --> 00:31:53,292 I didn't notice. 717 00:31:53,294 --> 00:31:54,127 Thank you. 718 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,509 (CHUCKLING) 719 00:31:58,511 --> 00:32:00,867 "Your eyes are blue torch light. 720 00:32:02,041 --> 00:32:03,827 "Ice-kissed frost fire. 721 00:32:04,951 --> 00:32:06,902 "My wasted heart melts there." 722 00:32:06,904 --> 00:32:08,262 You know, it's cute, 723 00:32:08,264 --> 00:32:11,389 like a middle school love note or something. 724 00:32:11,391 --> 00:32:13,642 "Ice-kissed frost fire?" 725 00:32:13,644 --> 00:32:15,101 You wrote this for me? 726 00:32:15,103 --> 00:32:17,629 No, you wrote it for me. 727 00:32:17,631 --> 00:32:19,736 Oh shit, or didn't you? 728 00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:21,722 Evan, that's not even my handwriting. 729 00:32:21,724 --> 00:32:23,387 You're saying you didn't write that. 730 00:32:25,584 --> 00:32:27,172 Where did you find that? 731 00:32:27,174 --> 00:32:29,692 Just in the kitchen, just over there. 732 00:32:29,694 --> 00:32:31,792 Somebody wrote it. 733 00:32:31,794 --> 00:32:34,157 Looks like you have a secret admirer. 734 00:32:35,284 --> 00:32:39,123 They're out of luck because I have eyes only for you. 735 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:42,292 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 736 00:33:23,118 --> 00:33:25,285 (MOANING) 737 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,195 (PHONE RINGING) 738 00:33:29,197 --> 00:33:32,541 No, no, no. 739 00:33:32,543 --> 00:33:35,471 (PHONE RINGING) 740 00:33:35,473 --> 00:33:36,851 But. 741 00:33:36,853 --> 00:33:39,131 The answering machine is full. 742 00:33:39,133 --> 00:33:41,800 (PHONE RINGING) 743 00:33:42,673 --> 00:33:44,111 Hello. 744 00:33:44,113 --> 00:33:45,891 Hey, Bridget. 745 00:33:45,893 --> 00:33:46,796 Is Evan there? 746 00:33:49,823 --> 00:33:50,983 Evan Dever. 747 00:33:50,985 --> 00:33:52,491 Evan. 748 00:33:52,493 --> 00:33:53,901 It's Ryan. 749 00:33:53,903 --> 00:33:55,311 I'm locked out of my house. 750 00:33:55,313 --> 00:33:57,511 What time is it? 751 00:33:57,513 --> 00:33:58,811 Please. 752 00:33:58,813 --> 00:34:01,461 I was out partying with these Iranian guys. 753 00:34:01,463 --> 00:34:02,551 No offense. 754 00:34:02,553 --> 00:34:03,541 None taken. 755 00:34:03,543 --> 00:34:05,171 And we were doing blow all night 756 00:34:05,173 --> 00:34:08,951 and I got that feeling, you know? 757 00:34:08,953 --> 00:34:10,791 The one that says "leave now." 758 00:34:10,793 --> 00:34:13,460 So I got out of there but my keys aren't in my clutch 759 00:34:13,462 --> 00:34:15,899 and I don't wanna go back alone. 760 00:34:15,901 --> 00:34:18,630 I thought maybe since you're Arab... 761 00:34:19,593 --> 00:34:21,751 Iranians are Persian, not Arab. 762 00:34:21,753 --> 00:34:23,166 Oh. 763 00:34:23,168 --> 00:34:25,596 Oh, right. 764 00:34:26,563 --> 00:34:27,616 Don't worry about it. 765 00:34:29,163 --> 00:34:32,041 I think you can reason with them since you're, 766 00:34:32,043 --> 00:34:32,886 you know, 767 00:34:34,303 --> 00:34:35,436 Middle Eastern. 768 00:34:36,623 --> 00:34:38,331 Please come get me. 769 00:34:38,333 --> 00:34:39,701 I'm on my way. 770 00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:41,227 Do you speak Arabic? 771 00:34:41,229 --> 00:34:42,414 No. 772 00:34:42,416 --> 00:34:44,583 (MOANING) 773 00:34:48,403 --> 00:34:49,236 Hello? 774 00:34:50,449 --> 00:34:52,616 (MOANING) 775 00:35:02,377 --> 00:35:05,377 (SOMBER BEAT MUSIC) 776 00:35:13,462 --> 00:35:15,710 You were so good at reasoning with them. 777 00:35:15,712 --> 00:35:17,635 Evan Dever, you're my hero. 778 00:35:23,842 --> 00:35:24,940 Do you wanna come inside? 779 00:35:24,942 --> 00:35:26,437 Stay up and party all night like the old days? 780 00:35:26,439 --> 00:35:28,755 I have to be at work in three hours. 781 00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,460 How'd you afford this? 782 00:35:31,462 --> 00:35:32,635 My daddy hates me. 783 00:35:39,432 --> 00:35:40,988 Hey. 784 00:35:40,990 --> 00:35:41,971 Hey. 785 00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:44,295 I live next door, I'm Misha. 786 00:35:44,297 --> 00:35:45,450 Evan. 787 00:35:45,452 --> 00:35:47,780 Are you Ryan's new girl? 788 00:35:47,782 --> 00:35:49,730 Oh no, we're good friends. 789 00:35:49,732 --> 00:35:51,320 That's what they all say. 790 00:35:51,322 --> 00:35:54,095 Can you light me one of those, cowboy? 791 00:35:56,352 --> 00:35:58,345 How about I give you this one, cowgirl? 792 00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:05,010 Thanks. 793 00:36:05,012 --> 00:36:06,112 Think nothing of it. 794 00:36:07,002 --> 00:36:08,864 You're up late. 795 00:36:08,866 --> 00:36:10,949 Oh yeah, we were just... 796 00:36:11,822 --> 00:36:14,711 Wanna come over to my place, hang out? 797 00:36:14,713 --> 00:36:16,450 I have to be up early. 798 00:36:16,452 --> 00:36:18,795 Okay, well, you know where to find me. 799 00:36:21,379 --> 00:36:22,412 Hey! 800 00:36:22,414 --> 00:36:23,247 Come on! 801 00:36:33,696 --> 00:36:37,142 (FAINT BEAT MUSIC) 802 00:36:37,144 --> 00:36:39,477 (SNIFFLING) 803 00:36:40,352 --> 00:36:41,570 You know, cocaine is God's way of telling you 804 00:36:41,572 --> 00:36:43,150 you have too much money. 805 00:36:43,152 --> 00:36:45,102 I don't need God to tell me I'm rich. 806 00:36:46,467 --> 00:36:47,717 You need to be careful. 807 00:36:48,552 --> 00:36:49,460 I've seen a lot of pretty girls 808 00:36:49,462 --> 00:36:51,380 ruin their looks with this stuff. 809 00:36:51,382 --> 00:36:54,664 Well it's a lucky thing I don't plan on living past 30. 810 00:36:54,666 --> 00:36:55,497 You have some on your nose. 811 00:36:55,499 --> 00:36:57,295 It's okay, I'm gonna keep doing it. 812 00:37:00,381 --> 00:37:02,929 God blessed me with good looks and cursed me 813 00:37:02,931 --> 00:37:05,199 with the knowledge that they would one day fade. 814 00:37:05,201 --> 00:37:06,994 There's no reason to rush prophecy. 815 00:37:08,541 --> 00:37:10,119 How come you and I never got together? 816 00:37:10,121 --> 00:37:11,789 We've been over this. 817 00:37:11,791 --> 00:37:13,069 Come on. 818 00:37:13,071 --> 00:37:14,344 We'd be so cute. 819 00:37:15,751 --> 00:37:17,564 Because a player can't get played. 820 00:37:19,267 --> 00:37:21,517 (GROANING) 821 00:37:24,431 --> 00:37:26,839 Which one of us is the play in this scenario? 822 00:37:26,841 --> 00:37:27,724 We both are. 823 00:37:30,871 --> 00:37:32,459 Additionally, I happen to be madly in love 824 00:37:32,461 --> 00:37:35,579 with you best friend, whom I also plan on marrying. 825 00:37:35,581 --> 00:37:38,129 What's with you saying "whom" all the time? 826 00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:40,092 I went to the same school as you and I can't do that. 827 00:37:40,094 --> 00:37:41,382 I was paying attention in class. 828 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:43,249 I doubt you even showed up. 829 00:37:43,251 --> 00:37:44,319 I finished four years in three 830 00:37:44,321 --> 00:37:46,649 and never even cracked the text book. 831 00:37:46,651 --> 00:37:47,514 Show-off. 832 00:37:49,841 --> 00:37:50,674 I'm cold. 833 00:37:51,701 --> 00:37:52,544 Get on the bed. 834 00:37:59,493 --> 00:38:01,356 (CHUCKLING) 835 00:38:01,358 --> 00:38:03,275 I don't know, it's just 836 00:38:04,671 --> 00:38:08,109 nice having someone like me for me. 837 00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:09,511 Bridget likes you for you. 838 00:38:10,741 --> 00:38:11,691 That's different. 839 00:38:13,261 --> 00:38:14,304 She's not a boy. 840 00:38:15,521 --> 00:38:16,524 You're a boy, Evan. 841 00:38:17,381 --> 00:38:19,059 That's why I called you. 842 00:38:19,061 --> 00:38:20,761 I wanted a boy to take care of me. 843 00:38:26,890 --> 00:38:29,640 We have the best group, don't we? 844 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:34,038 You're the king, Bridget's the queen. 845 00:38:35,791 --> 00:38:37,869 I'm definitely the princess. 846 00:38:37,871 --> 00:38:39,171 What are Dov and Trista? 847 00:38:41,351 --> 00:38:42,351 The court jesters. 848 00:38:47,311 --> 00:38:48,231 Hey, Evan? 849 00:38:48,233 --> 00:38:49,066 Mhmm? 850 00:38:50,051 --> 00:38:50,999 There's something I need to tell you. 851 00:38:51,001 --> 00:38:53,034 You can tell me anything. 852 00:38:54,424 --> 00:38:55,674 You're right. 853 00:38:56,594 --> 00:38:57,913 I can always count on you. 854 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,898 Hey, 855 00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:09,793 can you stay? 856 00:39:11,590 --> 00:39:13,178 At least until I'm asleep? 857 00:39:13,180 --> 00:39:14,730 That won't be for a few days. 858 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:16,873 Fair point. 859 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,230 Do you think you could at least sleep here tonight? 860 00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:24,068 I'd feel a lot safer. 861 00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:26,638 You're paranoid from all the coke. 862 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:27,571 Do you think Bridget will mind? 863 00:39:27,573 --> 00:39:29,978 Because I could call her right now and tell her. 864 00:39:29,980 --> 00:39:31,798 Bridget forced you to give her kissing lessons. 865 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:32,663 She'll be fine. 866 00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:40,133 Hey, Evan? 867 00:39:40,991 --> 00:39:41,824 Mhmm? 868 00:39:43,730 --> 00:39:44,995 I love you. 869 00:39:44,997 --> 00:39:46,633 You too, sweetheart. 870 00:39:48,705 --> 00:39:50,727 And not in a gay way. 871 00:40:02,446 --> 00:40:04,513 (HUFFING) 872 00:40:04,515 --> 00:40:07,098 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 873 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:20,679 No. 874 00:40:20,681 --> 00:40:22,326 No, no. 875 00:40:22,328 --> 00:40:23,655 No, no. 876 00:40:23,657 --> 00:40:25,990 (SCREAMING) 877 00:40:28,268 --> 00:40:30,168 (SIGHING) 878 00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:33,234 (MUFFLED YELLING) 879 00:40:33,236 --> 00:40:35,903 (PHONE RINGING) 880 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,298 Dov isn't here right now, 881 00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:44,918 would you like to leave a message? 882 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:45,898 Where the fuck are you? 883 00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:48,618 You know how much this party means to Bridget. 884 00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:49,928 What time is it? 885 00:40:49,930 --> 00:40:51,418 Were you asleep? 886 00:40:51,420 --> 00:40:52,720 Were you dreaming of Evan? 887 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,028 I hate myself. 888 00:40:55,030 --> 00:40:57,787 You love someone who doesn't love you. 889 00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,137 And I thought writers didn't like cliches. 890 00:41:00,139 --> 00:41:02,567 It's not so cliche that I hate myself. 891 00:41:02,569 --> 00:41:03,927 Hang on. 892 00:41:03,929 --> 00:41:06,207 Dov, you know how much this party means to Bridget. 893 00:41:06,209 --> 00:41:07,609 RYAN: That's what I said. 894 00:41:08,449 --> 00:41:09,417 I'm dying. 895 00:41:09,419 --> 00:41:10,284 You're not dying. 896 00:41:10,286 --> 00:41:11,717 You just can't think of anything better to do. 897 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:13,877 Tell her to take some Gas-X. 898 00:41:13,879 --> 00:41:16,062 Get dressed and get the fuck over here. 899 00:41:18,429 --> 00:41:19,652 The king has spoken. 900 00:41:25,685 --> 00:41:28,268 (SOMBER MUSIC) 901 00:41:31,752 --> 00:41:36,752 Hello? 902 00:41:36,937 --> 00:41:40,437 (EXCITING NEW WAVE MUSIC) 903 00:41:50,257 --> 00:41:51,326 Oh! 904 00:41:51,328 --> 00:41:52,159 You look amazing! 905 00:41:52,161 --> 00:41:54,260 This is hilarious! 906 00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:56,512 (LAUGHING) 907 00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:59,611 Where's your costume? 908 00:41:59,613 --> 00:42:01,034 This is not good enough. 909 00:42:01,036 --> 00:42:01,953 Whatever. 910 00:42:03,181 --> 00:42:04,012 Oh, Ryan. 911 00:42:04,014 --> 00:42:06,168 You need to wear your glasses. 912 00:42:06,170 --> 00:42:08,337 Oh, they make me look like a nerd 913 00:42:08,339 --> 00:42:10,899 and they're historically inaccurate. 914 00:42:10,901 --> 00:42:12,587 (LAUGHING) 915 00:42:12,589 --> 00:42:13,827 Dov is coming. 916 00:42:13,829 --> 00:42:14,767 Oh, thanks for calling her. 917 00:42:14,769 --> 00:42:16,797 I didn't realize she wasn't here. 918 00:42:16,799 --> 00:42:17,847 So, apparently my dad 919 00:42:17,849 --> 00:42:20,357 is in some kind of induced-coma state. 920 00:42:20,359 --> 00:42:22,117 I don't get it, I thought in Europe they had laws 921 00:42:22,119 --> 00:42:24,287 where they let people die. 922 00:42:24,289 --> 00:42:25,887 He wants that? 923 00:42:25,889 --> 00:42:27,307 Euthanasia? 924 00:42:27,309 --> 00:42:28,757 Youth in Asia? 925 00:42:28,759 --> 00:42:30,332 What do they have to do with it? 926 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,851 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 927 00:42:50,518 --> 00:42:51,351 Hi. 928 00:42:57,899 --> 00:42:58,732 Dov. 929 00:43:02,871 --> 00:43:04,956 Time for a Mid-East summit? 930 00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:06,946 I need to unburden my conscience. 931 00:43:06,948 --> 00:43:08,148 Do you take confessions? 932 00:43:09,028 --> 00:43:10,936 Do I look like a priest? 933 00:43:10,938 --> 00:43:12,665 You look poor and celibate. 934 00:43:14,488 --> 00:43:16,076 Close enough, what's up? 935 00:43:16,078 --> 00:43:19,156 My intern, now she says she's in love with me. 936 00:43:19,158 --> 00:43:21,261 I have to see her every day. 937 00:43:22,768 --> 00:43:23,736 I don't know how to handle it. 938 00:43:23,738 --> 00:43:26,056 Why don't you be a big boy and stop committing adultery 939 00:43:26,058 --> 00:43:28,226 with your teenage subordinate? 940 00:43:28,228 --> 00:43:30,396 It's not adultery unless you're married. 941 00:43:30,398 --> 00:43:31,966 Until Bridget accepts my offer, 942 00:43:31,968 --> 00:43:34,021 I have no reason to decline any others. 943 00:43:35,318 --> 00:43:36,466 I'll tell you what. 944 00:43:36,468 --> 00:43:38,736 Say three Hail Mary's, four Our Father's 945 00:43:38,738 --> 00:43:39,569 and pray that there's a God 946 00:43:39,571 --> 00:43:42,021 that will absolve you of your sins. 947 00:43:42,023 --> 00:43:43,896 You know what I like about you? 948 00:43:43,898 --> 00:43:44,766 Can't wait. 949 00:43:44,768 --> 00:43:46,416 You always tell it like it is. 950 00:43:46,418 --> 00:43:48,116 You never lie. 951 00:43:48,118 --> 00:43:49,276 You're a straight shooter. 952 00:43:49,278 --> 00:43:51,585 Not so sure about the "straight" part but. 953 00:43:57,889 --> 00:44:01,389 (EXCITING NEW WAVE MUSIC) 954 00:44:46,248 --> 00:44:47,596 Hey, over here! 955 00:44:47,598 --> 00:44:49,216 I want you to meet my neighbor's daughter. 956 00:44:49,218 --> 00:44:50,396 She's Jewish too. 957 00:44:50,398 --> 00:44:51,386 Misha! 958 00:44:51,388 --> 00:44:52,926 Misha! 959 00:44:52,928 --> 00:44:54,666 Misha, 960 00:44:54,668 --> 00:44:57,450 this is Dov, I was telling you about her. 961 00:44:58,327 --> 00:44:59,970 I like your haircut. 962 00:45:01,737 --> 00:45:02,568 Thanks. 963 00:45:02,570 --> 00:45:03,725 No one ever says that. 964 00:45:03,727 --> 00:45:04,565 Really? 965 00:45:04,567 --> 00:45:06,420 That's the first thing I noticed. 966 00:45:11,427 --> 00:45:12,330 Spectacular. 967 00:45:15,257 --> 00:45:17,120 I like your bonnet. 968 00:45:18,946 --> 00:45:19,779 Ummm. 969 00:45:22,447 --> 00:45:23,682 Truth. 970 00:45:23,684 --> 00:45:24,517 Hmmmmm. 971 00:45:25,737 --> 00:45:26,837 What are your numbers? 972 00:45:28,267 --> 00:45:29,865 Well, 973 00:45:29,867 --> 00:45:31,725 I knew I was a lesbian in high school 974 00:45:31,727 --> 00:45:33,415 but I didn't come out until college, 975 00:45:33,417 --> 00:45:35,320 which is where I met Evan. 976 00:45:36,390 --> 00:45:39,245 But then I Puerto Rico to live with my dad for a few years 977 00:45:39,247 --> 00:45:40,895 and they're really conservative there, 978 00:45:40,897 --> 00:45:42,820 but I kept in touch with Evan, 979 00:45:45,329 --> 00:45:48,625 so eventually she offered to pay for grad school 980 00:45:48,627 --> 00:45:49,560 if I came back. 981 00:45:51,689 --> 00:45:53,720 So, what's your answer? 982 00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:57,105 Just Evan. 983 00:45:57,107 --> 00:45:58,149 Just one. 984 00:45:58,151 --> 00:45:59,135 TRISTA: Uh-uh. 985 00:45:59,137 --> 00:46:00,065 No, you're lying. 986 00:46:00,067 --> 00:46:01,325 RYAN: She's not. 987 00:46:01,327 --> 00:46:03,331 She would've told me. 988 00:46:03,333 --> 00:46:05,035 TRISTA: Do you think about other women? 989 00:46:05,037 --> 00:46:07,165 Well, I mean yeah, I think about other women 990 00:46:07,167 --> 00:46:08,140 but I love Evan. 991 00:46:09,207 --> 00:46:10,884 Wow, that's super deep. 992 00:46:10,886 --> 00:46:13,275 (CHUCKLING) 993 00:46:13,277 --> 00:46:14,677 Okay, so... 994 00:46:16,837 --> 00:46:17,670 Who's next? 995 00:46:19,667 --> 00:46:20,805 Ryan. 996 00:46:20,807 --> 00:46:21,665 Yes? 997 00:46:21,667 --> 00:46:22,500 Dare. 998 00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:27,165 Kiss Evan. 999 00:46:27,167 --> 00:46:28,000 Fuck yeah. 1000 00:46:36,229 --> 00:46:38,479 (LAUGHING) 1001 00:46:40,957 --> 00:46:41,860 My turn. 1002 00:46:45,267 --> 00:46:46,970 Dov, truth or dare? 1003 00:46:48,557 --> 00:46:49,388 Truth. 1004 00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:50,520 RYAN: You sure about that? 1005 00:46:52,787 --> 00:46:53,620 No. 1006 00:46:54,547 --> 00:46:55,380 Dare. 1007 00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:57,519 I choose dare. 1008 00:47:06,606 --> 00:47:08,013 RYAN: Kiss Evan. 1009 00:47:08,015 --> 00:47:10,261 (LAUGHING) 1010 00:47:10,263 --> 00:47:11,094 DOV: No. 1011 00:47:11,096 --> 00:47:11,927 Kiss Evan. 1012 00:47:11,929 --> 00:47:12,760 Nope. 1013 00:47:12,762 --> 00:47:13,644 RYAN: That's your dare, you have to do it. 1014 00:47:13,646 --> 00:47:14,554 I'm not. 1015 00:47:14,556 --> 00:47:15,387 Why? 1016 00:47:15,389 --> 00:47:17,594 Is there something wrong with Evan? 1017 00:47:17,596 --> 00:47:18,884 DOV: I just don't want to. 1018 00:47:18,886 --> 00:47:19,724 Give me another dare. 1019 00:47:19,726 --> 00:47:20,924 That's not how it works. 1020 00:47:20,926 --> 00:47:22,454 Do you think I wanted to kiss Evan? 1021 00:47:22,456 --> 00:47:23,634 DOV: Yeah, I think you did. 1022 00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:25,064 Poor example. 1023 00:47:25,066 --> 00:47:27,254 Oh, come on, you're gonna make her feel bad. 1024 00:47:27,256 --> 00:47:29,454 Stop, she doesn't have to kiss me. 1025 00:47:29,456 --> 00:47:30,944 Yes she does. 1026 00:47:30,946 --> 00:47:33,264 If I'd welched on every dare I got in high school, 1027 00:47:33,266 --> 00:47:34,947 I wouldn't be the woman I am today. 1028 00:47:34,949 --> 00:47:35,780 (LAUGHING) 1029 00:47:35,782 --> 00:47:37,989 I think you're arguing against your own point. 1030 00:47:39,432 --> 00:47:43,159 (FAINT BEAT MUSIC) 1031 00:47:43,161 --> 00:47:43,994 Awwww. 1032 00:47:46,354 --> 00:47:48,166 RYAN: Good job, Evan. 1033 00:47:48,168 --> 00:47:49,719 Was that so bad? 1034 00:47:50,658 --> 00:47:52,158 TRISTA: Oooooh. 1035 00:47:57,266 --> 00:47:59,516 (LAUGHING) 1036 00:48:02,693 --> 00:48:03,526 There. 1037 00:48:04,796 --> 00:48:06,919 Bridget, Evan, thank you for having me. 1038 00:48:06,921 --> 00:48:07,944 Come on! 1039 00:48:07,946 --> 00:48:09,009 You're not leaving! 1040 00:48:10,113 --> 00:48:11,363 Come back! 1041 00:48:11,365 --> 00:48:12,895 Come back! 1042 00:48:12,897 --> 00:48:14,300 Awww. 1043 00:48:14,302 --> 00:48:15,705 Bye, Felicia. 1044 00:48:15,707 --> 00:48:17,957 (LAUGHING) 1045 00:48:19,786 --> 00:48:21,171 Well, that was a play full of awkwardness. 1046 00:48:21,173 --> 00:48:22,584 It was like being kissed 1047 00:48:22,586 --> 00:48:24,619 by a 12 year old virgin of myself. 1048 00:48:24,621 --> 00:48:25,804 (LAUGHING) 1049 00:48:25,806 --> 00:48:27,404 Gotta disinfect. 1050 00:48:27,406 --> 00:48:29,347 Drink it, drink all of it. 1051 00:48:29,349 --> 00:48:31,173 Kill the bottle, kill it. 1052 00:48:31,175 --> 00:48:32,554 (LAUGHING) 1053 00:48:32,556 --> 00:48:34,443 Here, here, I got you. 1054 00:48:34,445 --> 00:48:35,605 (LAUGHING) 1055 00:48:35,607 --> 00:48:36,907 I'm just gonna lick it up. 1056 00:48:42,166 --> 00:48:43,429 Hey, wait up! 1057 00:48:44,406 --> 00:48:45,701 What were you thinking? 1058 00:48:45,703 --> 00:48:47,159 I did you a favor. 1059 00:48:48,327 --> 00:48:49,158 You humiliated me. 1060 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,859 I'm not in love with Evan! 1061 00:48:51,906 --> 00:48:52,794 What's it gonna take to get that through 1062 00:48:52,796 --> 00:48:54,194 your pretty, little skull?! 1063 00:48:54,196 --> 00:48:56,504 Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. 1064 00:48:56,506 --> 00:48:58,433 Maybe one kiss from your lips is all it would take 1065 00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:01,373 and Evan would decide to leave Bridget forever. 1066 00:49:01,375 --> 00:49:02,653 If only. 1067 00:49:02,655 --> 00:49:03,973 Aren't you the one who's supposed to be looking out 1068 00:49:03,975 --> 00:49:05,373 for her best interests? 1069 00:49:05,375 --> 00:49:06,925 What makes you think I'm not? 1070 00:49:08,275 --> 00:49:10,113 Where'd that come from? 1071 00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:12,313 I had lunch at Evan's office last week. 1072 00:49:12,315 --> 00:49:14,263 I got a look at Evan's intern. 1073 00:49:14,265 --> 00:49:16,303 More specifically, I got a look at the way 1074 00:49:16,305 --> 00:49:18,193 Evan looks at her intern. 1075 00:49:18,195 --> 00:49:20,323 I don't know if she's done anything or not 1076 00:49:20,325 --> 00:49:23,053 but I know Evan and I know people 1077 00:49:23,055 --> 00:49:24,463 and I know that the one thing 1078 00:49:24,465 --> 00:49:26,508 that people never, ever do is change. 1079 00:49:29,295 --> 00:49:31,343 Listen, this had been a little too much reality 1080 00:49:31,345 --> 00:49:32,283 for one night. 1081 00:49:32,285 --> 00:49:35,203 I like substances and I like abusing them. 1082 00:49:35,205 --> 00:49:36,168 I don't know, Ry. 1083 00:49:37,155 --> 00:49:41,043 Some dweezoid left a mondo of Purple Urkel at my place. 1084 00:49:41,045 --> 00:49:42,473 It's yours for the taking. 1085 00:49:42,475 --> 00:49:44,273 As am I. 1086 00:49:44,275 --> 00:49:45,288 Purple Urkel? 1087 00:49:46,185 --> 00:49:48,933 I cordially invite you to night of bad decisions 1088 00:49:48,935 --> 00:49:51,196 and debauchery at my apartment. 1089 00:49:51,198 --> 00:49:53,365 (SIGHING) 1090 00:49:54,995 --> 00:49:57,233 Then I cordially accept but I'm still mad. 1091 00:49:57,235 --> 00:49:59,003 I can live with that. 1092 00:49:59,005 --> 00:50:00,443 Are you gonna try to seduce me again? 1093 00:50:00,445 --> 00:50:02,913 Depends, do you want me to? 1094 00:50:02,915 --> 00:50:03,778 Yeah 1095 00:50:03,780 --> 00:50:04,938 (LAUGHING) 1096 00:50:04,940 --> 00:50:08,857 (EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC) 1097 00:50:14,582 --> 00:50:17,165 (GONG RINGING) 1098 00:50:22,215 --> 00:50:23,893 Hey, Jew bu. 1099 00:50:23,895 --> 00:50:26,053 This isn't Buddha, this is Shiva. 1100 00:50:26,055 --> 00:50:28,003 I thought you were in an exclusive relationship 1101 00:50:28,005 --> 00:50:29,205 with the God of Abraham. 1102 00:50:30,295 --> 00:50:32,423 I took an Asian Philosophy class in college. 1103 00:50:32,425 --> 00:50:34,673 I didn't understand a word of it but 1104 00:50:34,675 --> 00:50:36,223 it was graded on a curve so, 1105 00:50:36,225 --> 00:50:37,625 I passed with flying colors. 1106 00:50:38,615 --> 00:50:43,615 And what brought on this bout of religious bi curiosity? 1107 00:50:43,625 --> 00:50:45,823 Trying, again, to write my novel 1108 00:50:45,825 --> 00:50:48,325 and failing, again, to come up with a single word. 1109 00:50:49,735 --> 00:50:51,943 And how's this ritual helping you? 1110 00:50:51,945 --> 00:50:54,808 Clearly, you understand nothing about the writing process. 1111 00:50:57,764 --> 00:50:58,977 I saw Paige yesterday. 1112 00:51:00,034 --> 00:51:00,887 How'd it go? 1113 00:51:01,907 --> 00:51:03,057 I didn't talk to her. 1114 00:51:04,276 --> 00:51:05,982 You can't keep standing outside your old house 1115 00:51:05,984 --> 00:51:07,422 and spying on her. 1116 00:51:07,424 --> 00:51:08,472 Why not? 1117 00:51:08,474 --> 00:51:09,674 What are yo afraid of? 1118 00:51:10,864 --> 00:51:11,697 Dying alone. 1119 00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:14,497 I think we're in the same boat. 1120 00:51:15,519 --> 00:51:17,719 More like a sinking ship. 1121 00:51:17,721 --> 00:51:19,445 Except, I've long accepted the fact 1122 00:51:19,447 --> 00:51:20,882 that the woman who owns my heart 1123 00:51:20,884 --> 00:51:23,132 will never return my feelings. 1124 00:51:23,134 --> 00:51:24,884 Which bitch are you in love with? 1125 00:51:25,824 --> 00:51:27,312 That's between me and my God. 1126 00:51:27,314 --> 00:51:29,847 Which God, I haven't decided yet. 1127 00:51:31,284 --> 00:51:33,202 If you're obsessed with some unobtainable girl, 1128 00:51:33,204 --> 00:51:35,232 you have to profess to her your love. 1129 00:51:35,234 --> 00:51:36,982 I'd rather keep writing engagement announcements 1130 00:51:36,984 --> 00:51:38,992 for the rest of my natural born life. 1131 00:51:38,994 --> 00:51:40,347 So much irony in that. 1132 00:51:41,564 --> 00:51:43,762 You could offer me a million dollars to write a book, 1133 00:51:43,764 --> 00:51:44,595 right now, 1134 00:51:44,597 --> 00:51:47,292 I wouldn't be able to come up with a single thing. 1135 00:51:47,294 --> 00:51:49,302 I know what you need to write a book about. 1136 00:51:49,304 --> 00:51:51,272 Write a book about a group of lesbians 1137 00:51:51,274 --> 00:51:52,832 who are constantly creating 1138 00:51:52,834 --> 00:51:54,722 unnecessary and neuritic problems 1139 00:51:54,724 --> 00:51:58,452 to keep them from dealing with their terrifying problems, 1140 00:51:58,454 --> 00:52:00,012 like reality. 1141 00:52:00,014 --> 00:52:01,162 Come on. 1142 00:52:01,164 --> 00:52:02,417 No one would read that. 1143 00:52:08,924 --> 00:52:10,862 I'm getting a promotion at the museum. 1144 00:52:10,864 --> 00:52:12,795 That's so great. 1145 00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:16,522 And I might even be getting a fellowship in Romania. 1146 00:52:16,524 --> 00:52:19,197 Are you still gonna have a big, gay Republican wedding? 1147 00:52:20,529 --> 00:52:22,122 I don't even wanna think about it. 1148 00:52:22,124 --> 00:52:24,042 Can I be a bridesmaid? 1149 00:52:24,044 --> 00:52:26,892 No one's ever asked me to be a bridesmaid. 1150 00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,104 I'm just so 1151 00:52:29,774 --> 00:52:30,912 unsure. 1152 00:52:30,914 --> 00:52:33,747 But you and Evan have a fairytale romance. 1153 00:52:34,940 --> 00:52:36,737 I love Evan, I do. 1154 00:52:38,961 --> 00:52:41,181 "Ice-kissed frost fire." 1155 00:52:42,314 --> 00:52:43,147 What? 1156 00:52:44,914 --> 00:52:45,747 Nothing. 1157 00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:51,482 Okay. 1158 00:52:51,484 --> 00:52:55,729 Someone wrote Evan an anonymous love note. 1159 00:52:55,731 --> 00:52:57,171 Oh my God. 1160 00:52:57,173 --> 00:52:58,476 That's so pathetic. 1161 00:52:59,603 --> 00:53:02,254 You don't know anything about it, do you? 1162 00:53:02,256 --> 00:53:05,339 (MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC) 1163 00:53:06,953 --> 00:53:08,311 So good. 1164 00:53:08,313 --> 00:53:09,901 Where'd you learn to make coffee like this? 1165 00:53:09,903 --> 00:53:11,561 Late nights in stuffy museums, 1166 00:53:11,563 --> 00:53:13,611 a person will resort to desperate measures. 1167 00:53:13,613 --> 00:53:15,866 Desperate measures is my area of expertise. 1168 00:53:17,453 --> 00:53:18,853 Hey, Ryan, how's your dad? 1169 00:53:20,143 --> 00:53:21,943 Still hanging on, the old bastard. 1170 00:53:23,543 --> 00:53:25,818 I'm worried about you. 1171 00:53:25,820 --> 00:53:29,831 You don't seem bothered that your dad is going to die. 1172 00:53:29,833 --> 00:53:31,631 I'm very bothered. 1173 00:53:31,633 --> 00:53:33,351 Once I collect inheritance, it's gonna put me 1174 00:53:33,353 --> 00:53:35,737 in an entirely new tax bracket. 1175 00:53:35,739 --> 00:53:36,570 That's the other thing. 1176 00:53:36,572 --> 00:53:38,886 You seem obsessed with getting his money. 1177 00:53:40,243 --> 00:53:41,906 Once I become rich, 1178 00:53:43,023 --> 00:53:44,256 I mean, rich rich, 1179 00:53:45,583 --> 00:53:47,933 I'll never have to work another day of my life. 1180 00:53:49,463 --> 00:53:51,713 I'll just be tattooing for shits and giggles. 1181 00:53:54,653 --> 00:53:57,901 Evan's paying your tuition for grad school, right? 1182 00:53:57,903 --> 00:54:00,002 Yeah, but it's just temporary. 1183 00:54:00,004 --> 00:54:02,581 When I get my career going, I'm gonna pay her back. 1184 00:54:02,583 --> 00:54:05,983 And you're not paying rent to live with her? 1185 00:54:06,853 --> 00:54:07,684 I try. 1186 00:54:07,686 --> 00:54:11,391 I insisted, actually, but she wouldn't hear of it. 1187 00:54:11,393 --> 00:54:13,481 She refused to take anything from me 1188 00:54:13,483 --> 00:54:16,036 because we're in love. 1189 00:54:19,313 --> 00:54:20,146 What a world. 1190 00:54:21,163 --> 00:54:21,994 Yeah. 1191 00:54:21,996 --> 00:54:24,541 The world is crazy, right? 1192 00:54:24,543 --> 00:54:25,376 No. 1193 00:54:27,053 --> 00:54:28,000 I meant, yours. 1194 00:54:36,547 --> 00:54:39,994 (VIDEO CASSETTE PLAYER BUZZING) 1195 00:54:39,996 --> 00:54:42,579 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 1196 00:54:49,804 --> 00:54:51,401 I'm thinking June 1st. 1197 00:54:51,403 --> 00:54:53,261 That'll give you enough time to prepare. 1198 00:54:53,263 --> 00:54:55,751 You'll have a wedding planner to assist you, of course. 1199 00:54:55,753 --> 00:54:58,452 I just got a promotion, I barely have time as it is. 1200 00:54:59,302 --> 00:55:01,120 I'm thinking a garden wedding. 1201 00:55:01,122 --> 00:55:02,080 I can see it now. 1202 00:55:02,082 --> 00:55:03,290 Our lesbian nuptials will be 1203 00:55:03,292 --> 00:55:05,590 the Republican social gathering of the year. 1204 00:55:05,592 --> 00:55:07,290 Do you want a wedding ceremony 1205 00:55:07,292 --> 00:55:10,495 or a political gathering worthy of CNN coverage? 1206 00:55:10,497 --> 00:55:11,620 I can see it now. 1207 00:55:11,622 --> 00:55:13,780 The Republicans can sit on my side of the isle 1208 00:55:13,782 --> 00:55:16,549 and since your family isn't coming, sorry, 1209 00:55:16,551 --> 00:55:19,095 anyone who are Democrats appear can sit on yours. 1210 00:55:22,582 --> 00:55:23,415 Ugh. 1211 00:55:24,512 --> 00:55:27,490 I've been, okay, do you mind if I say something? 1212 00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:28,750 Offensive? 1213 00:55:28,752 --> 00:55:29,989 Just when I thought this conversation 1214 00:55:29,991 --> 00:55:32,090 couldn't get any more interesting. 1215 00:55:32,092 --> 00:55:33,720 Okay. 1216 00:55:33,722 --> 00:55:34,555 Okay. 1217 00:55:36,162 --> 00:55:39,600 Look, I've never seen a white Arab than you. 1218 00:55:39,602 --> 00:55:41,820 I've never seen a whiter person than you. 1219 00:55:41,822 --> 00:55:44,560 I mean, it's all too easy with your golden locks 1220 00:55:44,562 --> 00:55:48,145 and your fair skin to avoid discrimination. 1221 00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:50,362 What about you? 1222 00:55:51,477 --> 00:55:53,540 You think in a million years anyone would think you were gay 1223 00:55:53,542 --> 00:55:55,090 from looking at you? 1224 00:55:55,092 --> 00:55:57,150 Because that's what I have to live with. 1225 00:55:57,152 --> 00:56:00,630 Every person who sees me sees a dyke. 1226 00:56:00,632 --> 00:56:02,000 It's not a competition. 1227 00:56:02,002 --> 00:56:03,370 My point is that this is a case 1228 00:56:03,372 --> 00:56:05,172 of the pot calling the kettle white. 1229 00:56:06,162 --> 00:56:08,040 As sure is the day is long, 1230 00:56:08,042 --> 00:56:10,070 they will fuck you. 1231 00:56:10,072 --> 00:56:12,290 They will fuck you and me 1232 00:56:12,292 --> 00:56:16,470 and every gay and lesbian and brown and black person. 1233 00:56:16,472 --> 00:56:19,180 You are delusional if you think 1234 00:56:19,182 --> 00:56:21,000 you're gonna come out ahead on this. 1235 00:56:21,002 --> 00:56:22,702 Now tell me how you really feel. 1236 00:56:24,324 --> 00:56:25,157 Come on. 1237 00:56:27,832 --> 00:56:30,970 Bridget, this is just background noise. 1238 00:56:30,972 --> 00:56:31,803 Let's get married and start 1239 00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:33,615 an exciting new chapter in our lives. 1240 00:56:34,802 --> 00:56:37,780 Do you know many happily married people, Evan? 1241 00:56:37,782 --> 00:56:38,715 Because I don't. 1242 00:56:41,443 --> 00:56:42,740 (SIGHING) 1243 00:56:42,742 --> 00:56:44,378 This house is falling apart. 1244 00:56:44,380 --> 00:56:46,400 You know, I think you wanted to redo the house 1245 00:56:46,402 --> 00:56:47,686 so you threw that Halloween party 1246 00:56:47,688 --> 00:56:49,588 knowing how much damage it would make. 1247 00:56:49,590 --> 00:56:51,840 (LAUGHING) 1248 00:56:53,026 --> 00:56:55,144 We need to redo the carpets. 1249 00:56:55,146 --> 00:56:56,989 The walls need new paint. 1250 00:56:56,991 --> 00:56:59,374 I need to get an estimate on the foundation. 1251 00:57:01,151 --> 00:57:01,984 Yeah. 1252 00:57:03,091 --> 00:57:04,641 Let's fix the foundation first. 1253 00:57:08,233 --> 00:57:09,853 ♪ Play the movie ♪ 1254 00:57:09,855 --> 00:57:11,755 ♪ I want you to smile ♪ 1255 00:57:11,757 --> 00:57:13,250 ♪ Shut out all the worries ♪ 1256 00:57:13,252 --> 00:57:15,612 ♪ Dream away for awhile ♪ 1257 00:57:15,614 --> 00:57:19,083 ♪ The look you had in your eyes back then ♪ 1258 00:57:19,085 --> 00:57:21,242 ♪ We'll pretend ♪ 1259 00:57:21,244 --> 00:57:23,362 ♪ It's 85 again ♪ 1260 00:57:23,364 --> 00:57:25,086 ♪ Play the tape ♪ 1261 00:57:25,088 --> 00:57:27,168 ♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪ 1262 00:57:27,170 --> 00:57:30,973 ♪ Take me back again to see the look of that crow ♪ 1263 00:57:30,975 --> 00:57:34,332 ♪ The power of love is back on the screen ♪ 1264 00:57:34,334 --> 00:57:36,644 ♪ I will have ♪ 1265 00:57:36,646 --> 00:57:39,300 ♪ 85 again ♪ 1266 00:57:39,302 --> 00:57:42,469 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 1267 00:58:06,719 --> 00:58:08,679 Ryan, your hands are shaking. 1268 00:58:08,681 --> 00:58:09,739 It's freezing in here. 1269 00:58:09,741 --> 00:58:11,029 Would it kill you to pay your heating bill? 1270 00:58:11,031 --> 00:58:12,099 Just. 1271 00:58:12,101 --> 00:58:13,729 No, don't stab out my eye. 1272 00:58:13,731 --> 00:58:15,729 My insurance plan sucks! 1273 00:58:15,731 --> 00:58:16,564 RYAN: Damn! 1274 00:58:19,071 --> 00:58:20,221 DOV: How's your dad? 1275 00:58:21,270 --> 00:58:23,689 Ugh, he won't die. 1276 00:58:23,691 --> 00:58:26,999 Did I tell you why I became a tattoo artist? 1277 00:58:27,001 --> 00:58:28,469 It was to punish him. 1278 00:58:28,471 --> 00:58:31,199 I got this fancy degree in art history 1279 00:58:31,201 --> 00:58:33,079 that cost him a fortune and now I use it 1280 00:58:33,081 --> 00:58:34,759 to give people something they're regret 1281 00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:36,049 for the rest of their lives. 1282 00:58:36,051 --> 00:58:37,351 Like he regrets having me. 1283 00:58:39,501 --> 00:58:42,509 Bridget, you are so beautiful. 1284 00:58:42,511 --> 00:58:44,139 If I were you, I wouldn't give a second thought 1285 00:58:44,141 --> 00:58:46,089 to the intern at Evan's office. 1286 00:58:46,091 --> 00:58:47,854 You're much prettier than she is. 1287 00:58:48,901 --> 00:58:50,184 Oh, excuse me. 1288 00:58:52,311 --> 00:58:55,671 It's like a "don't do drugs, kids" PSA. 1289 00:58:56,696 --> 00:58:59,863 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 1290 00:59:17,630 --> 00:59:19,237 Attention! 1291 00:59:19,239 --> 00:59:20,527 Attention! 1292 00:59:20,529 --> 00:59:22,196 Ladies and gentlemen 1293 00:59:23,057 --> 00:59:25,073 and everyone else. 1294 00:59:25,075 --> 00:59:27,628 I have an announcement! 1295 00:59:27,630 --> 00:59:28,758 Bridget! 1296 00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:29,658 Bridget! 1297 00:59:29,660 --> 00:59:30,803 Where are you, baby? 1298 00:59:33,180 --> 00:59:35,478 I know most girls, 1299 00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,748 I know most girls lose their virginity on prom night 1300 00:59:38,750 --> 00:59:42,018 but tonight, I'm hoping that my true love 1301 00:59:42,020 --> 00:59:44,658 will make an honest fella out of me. 1302 00:59:44,660 --> 00:59:46,278 She's wasted. 1303 00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:49,603 This has been burning a whole in my pocket for weeks. 1304 00:59:50,710 --> 00:59:55,130 Bridget, will you do me the extraordinary honor 1305 00:59:56,090 --> 00:59:57,653 of becoming my bride? 1306 00:59:59,830 --> 01:00:01,013 Evan, you're drunk. 1307 01:00:02,420 --> 01:00:03,920 Sapphire to match your eyes. 1308 01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:08,243 There's something we need to talk about first. 1309 01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:14,478 What are we gonna do about 1310 01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,230 all your late nights at the office? 1311 01:00:17,260 --> 01:00:18,283 What do you mean? 1312 01:00:19,780 --> 01:00:21,938 I'm talking about all the special attention 1313 01:00:21,940 --> 01:00:23,490 you've been giving your intern. 1314 01:00:33,696 --> 01:00:34,563 (GROANING) 1315 01:00:34,565 --> 01:00:35,648 You told her! 1316 01:00:35,650 --> 01:00:36,488 Why would you tell her?! 1317 01:00:36,490 --> 01:00:38,578 BRIDGET: Evan, stop, let her go! 1318 01:00:38,580 --> 01:00:39,801 Tell me what? 1319 01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:41,023 I wasn't me! 1320 01:00:46,060 --> 01:00:48,523 She didn't tell me anything. 1321 01:00:50,310 --> 01:00:52,460 You just told me everything. 1322 01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:58,191 It's all right. 1323 01:00:58,193 --> 01:01:01,186 She's always like playing hard to get. 1324 01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,937 (UPBEAT MUSIC) 1325 01:01:06,939 --> 01:01:08,877 Hey, it's all right. 1326 01:01:08,879 --> 01:01:11,857 It's not a party until something gets broken. 1327 01:01:11,859 --> 01:01:13,159 Yeah, like my neck. 1328 01:01:14,279 --> 01:01:17,362 (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC) 1329 01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,767 Thanks for letting me stay here. 1330 01:01:41,769 --> 01:01:45,227 I really didn't wanna go home tonight. 1331 01:01:45,229 --> 01:01:46,627 Are you sure you wanna stay here? 1332 01:01:46,629 --> 01:01:48,447 I can take the sofa, no problem. 1333 01:01:48,449 --> 01:01:49,280 I don't wanna do that to you. 1334 01:01:49,282 --> 01:01:50,837 I don't wanna kick you out of your bed. 1335 01:01:50,839 --> 01:01:53,062 I mean, it's actually totally okay. 1336 01:01:54,179 --> 01:01:55,332 What is that? 1337 01:01:56,689 --> 01:01:57,767 Oh. 1338 01:01:57,769 --> 01:01:58,600 That. 1339 01:01:58,602 --> 01:01:59,569 That's a long story. 1340 01:02:00,989 --> 01:02:03,537 Also the closest thing I've had to a woman in my bedroom 1341 01:02:03,539 --> 01:02:04,489 in a long time. 1342 01:02:04,491 --> 01:02:07,477 Well, in this house in forever. 1343 01:02:07,479 --> 01:02:09,878 As long as it's not a sex doll. 1344 01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:10,711 What? 1345 01:02:10,713 --> 01:02:11,987 Oh no, that would be weird. 1346 01:02:11,989 --> 01:02:14,821 Weirder than having a mannequin in you bedroom? 1347 01:02:14,823 --> 01:02:17,617 (LAUGHING) 1348 01:02:17,619 --> 01:02:20,087 When I was in college, I was a creative writing major 1349 01:02:20,089 --> 01:02:22,727 who was thoroughly invested in her art 1350 01:02:22,729 --> 01:02:24,999 and in hopes of attracting young ladies 1351 01:02:25,001 --> 01:02:27,086 I came up with this backstory 1352 01:02:27,088 --> 01:02:29,697 that the reason my dad spiraled into alcoholism 1353 01:02:29,699 --> 01:02:33,747 was because he lost his job in a mannequin factory. 1354 01:02:33,749 --> 01:02:37,012 I bet the ladies couldn't resist. 1355 01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:40,197 Was any of that true? 1356 01:02:40,199 --> 01:02:41,692 Only the alcoholism part. 1357 01:02:42,579 --> 01:02:43,767 Oh. 1358 01:02:43,769 --> 01:02:45,069 I didn't mean to go there. 1359 01:02:46,969 --> 01:02:48,477 While we're on the topic, 1360 01:02:48,479 --> 01:02:49,929 would you care for a bourbon? 1361 01:02:50,879 --> 01:02:51,712 Sure. 1362 01:02:56,328 --> 01:02:59,216 Oh, "A The Dummies' Guide to the Dark Ages." 1363 01:02:59,218 --> 01:03:01,368 I didn't know you were into medieval stuff. 1364 01:03:02,318 --> 01:03:03,151 Yeah, that's. 1365 01:03:05,295 --> 01:03:08,305 "Let me show you how a kiss should taste." 1366 01:03:10,318 --> 01:03:11,706 Not ready for anyone to see that. 1367 01:03:11,708 --> 01:03:12,843 Ah, still in utero? 1368 01:03:12,845 --> 01:03:15,095 (GIGGLING) 1369 01:03:26,778 --> 01:03:31,376 Do you have a book full of photos or Ryan somewhere 1370 01:03:31,378 --> 01:03:34,916 or maybe a secret stash of photos 1371 01:03:34,918 --> 01:03:36,836 on each one of your friends? 1372 01:03:36,838 --> 01:03:38,581 No, you're my one and only. 1373 01:03:44,935 --> 01:03:46,785 "Your eyes are blue-torched light." 1374 01:03:53,135 --> 01:03:54,795 "Ice-kissed frost fire." 1375 01:03:55,915 --> 01:03:58,085 BOTH: "My wasted heart melts there." 1376 01:04:00,488 --> 01:04:01,321 It was you? 1377 01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:04,131 Yeah. 1378 01:04:08,998 --> 01:04:11,662 You wrote that for Evan. 1379 01:04:11,664 --> 01:04:13,776 No, no. 1380 01:04:13,778 --> 01:04:15,766 I wrote that for you. 1381 01:04:15,768 --> 01:04:18,181 For you to find. 1382 01:04:22,688 --> 01:04:24,446 When you're alone and you think no one's watching, 1383 01:04:24,448 --> 01:04:27,166 you get this look on your face 1384 01:04:27,168 --> 01:04:28,404 and I always wonder what you're thinking 1385 01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:30,856 because you look so sad 1386 01:04:30,858 --> 01:04:32,651 but your eyes, they just, 1387 01:04:33,796 --> 01:04:36,241 they turn the most remarkable shade of blue. 1388 01:04:38,818 --> 01:04:39,911 You notice that? 1389 01:04:41,088 --> 01:04:44,581 Bridget, nothing about you has ever escaped my attention. 1390 01:04:51,078 --> 01:04:52,756 Maybe if you stare at her house long enough, 1391 01:04:52,758 --> 01:04:55,083 she'll decide she doesn't want to divorce you anymore. 1392 01:04:55,085 --> 01:04:56,334 That's what I'm hoping. 1393 01:04:57,887 --> 01:04:59,875 This is technically trespassing. 1394 01:04:59,877 --> 01:05:03,195 If we end up in jail, I'm gonna miss Black Friday. 1395 01:05:03,197 --> 01:05:05,725 TRISTA: Calm down, you'll be out by Cyber Monday. 1396 01:05:05,727 --> 01:05:06,560 What's that? 1397 01:05:09,367 --> 01:05:10,935 Hey, Trista? 1398 01:05:10,937 --> 01:05:12,285 Can you spend the night at my house? 1399 01:05:12,287 --> 01:05:14,455 What's up with you being afraid of your apartment? 1400 01:05:14,457 --> 01:05:18,055 Evan says it's because I'm paranoid from all the coke. 1401 01:05:18,057 --> 01:05:19,935 Hey, can we talk about something? 1402 01:05:19,937 --> 01:05:20,820 Shit. 1403 01:05:22,552 --> 01:05:23,763 RYAN: What's going on? 1404 01:05:23,765 --> 01:05:25,488 (TRISTA LAUGHING) 1405 01:05:25,490 --> 01:05:26,407 Oh, look. 1406 01:05:28,317 --> 01:05:29,148 Oh no. 1407 01:05:29,150 --> 01:05:29,983 No, no, no, no. 1408 01:05:31,367 --> 01:05:32,535 She's with someone. 1409 01:05:32,537 --> 01:05:33,370 No way. 1410 01:05:35,272 --> 01:05:37,085 That bitch. 1411 01:05:37,087 --> 01:05:38,387 Maybe that's her sister. 1412 01:05:42,067 --> 01:05:43,990 I really hope that's not her sister. 1413 01:05:45,877 --> 01:05:46,708 I've had enough. 1414 01:05:46,710 --> 01:05:48,021 Trista, no! 1415 01:05:48,023 --> 01:05:49,273 Let go of me. 1416 01:05:50,314 --> 01:05:53,332 (GROANING) 1417 01:05:53,334 --> 01:05:55,334 I want to go fight her. 1418 01:05:57,926 --> 01:06:00,105 I'm gonna fight her. 1419 01:06:00,107 --> 01:06:02,760 Jesus Christ, you've got freakish coke strength. 1420 01:06:03,928 --> 01:06:06,178 (GROANING) 1421 01:06:09,937 --> 01:06:12,725 Here we go, you're coming with me. 1422 01:06:12,727 --> 01:06:14,977 (GROANING) 1423 01:06:16,009 --> 01:06:17,706 I gotta go. 1424 01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:20,145 (SHUSHING) 1425 01:06:20,147 --> 01:06:20,980 Oh my God. 1426 01:06:23,621 --> 01:06:25,335 I'm performing an intervention. 1427 01:06:25,337 --> 01:06:26,170 Jesus. 1428 01:06:27,925 --> 01:06:29,008 Don't move. 1429 01:06:39,227 --> 01:06:41,115 TRISTA: Get off me! 1430 01:06:41,117 --> 01:06:42,875 You may be stronger than me 1431 01:06:42,877 --> 01:06:44,195 but I am meaner. 1432 01:06:44,197 --> 01:06:46,441 And you are not going into that house. 1433 01:06:46,443 --> 01:06:48,610 (SIGHING) 1434 01:06:56,196 --> 01:06:58,675 Evan's always been the one, you know? 1435 01:06:58,677 --> 01:07:02,714 I never even had any other girlfriends in high school. 1436 01:07:02,716 --> 01:07:04,124 Believe it or not, 1437 01:07:04,126 --> 01:07:05,507 I was kinda of a geek. 1438 01:07:05,509 --> 01:07:08,023 (GIGGLING) 1439 01:07:08,025 --> 01:07:09,779 Sometimes I do wonder, 1440 01:07:10,796 --> 01:07:12,181 I think to myself, 1441 01:07:12,183 --> 01:07:14,970 "What if Evan hadn't picked me up that night?" 1442 01:07:14,972 --> 01:07:19,114 I don't necessarily subscribe to M-Theory or String Theory 1443 01:07:19,116 --> 01:07:21,139 but the very possibility of a multiverse 1444 01:07:21,141 --> 01:07:22,633 has got to make you wonder. 1445 01:07:22,635 --> 01:07:26,469 Well, if you hadn't been with Evan, we never would've met. 1446 01:07:27,586 --> 01:07:30,689 I thought I'd be angry, furious, upset. 1447 01:07:32,026 --> 01:07:33,856 Instead, I just feel... 1448 01:07:35,386 --> 01:07:36,509 Emptiness. 1449 01:07:38,829 --> 01:07:43,169 Speaking of emptiness. 1450 01:07:43,171 --> 01:07:45,338 (SIGHING) 1451 01:07:47,756 --> 01:07:51,094 The reason I spend so much time around Evan 1452 01:07:51,096 --> 01:07:53,076 is because wherever she is 1453 01:07:54,936 --> 01:07:56,684 you are there too. 1454 01:07:56,686 --> 01:07:57,517 Huh? 1455 01:07:57,519 --> 01:08:00,384 And I think the reason I'm not seeing anyone 1456 01:08:00,386 --> 01:08:02,726 or looking to meet anyone is because 1457 01:08:04,366 --> 01:08:06,036 to me you are perfect. 1458 01:08:08,086 --> 01:08:09,584 Oh my God. 1459 01:08:09,586 --> 01:08:10,986 Since the moment I met you 1460 01:08:12,087 --> 01:08:12,920 I've been 1461 01:08:14,346 --> 01:08:15,239 secretly, 1462 01:08:16,206 --> 01:08:17,179 madly, 1463 01:08:19,496 --> 01:08:20,529 in love with you. 1464 01:08:24,836 --> 01:08:26,676 How could I not have seen this? 1465 01:08:31,466 --> 01:08:33,324 How could I not have seen you? 1466 01:08:33,326 --> 01:08:35,076 I wish I could just 1467 01:08:36,148 --> 01:08:39,824 cut you into a million pieces and scatter you across the sky 1468 01:08:39,826 --> 01:08:41,439 and count you like stars. 1469 01:08:42,926 --> 01:08:44,556 I think that 1470 01:08:45,626 --> 01:08:49,899 is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me. 1471 01:08:50,784 --> 01:08:54,701 (EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC) 1472 01:09:19,005 --> 01:09:21,895 I've loved you since the moment I saw you. 1473 01:09:21,897 --> 01:09:26,897 Not a day's gone by I haven't dreamed of this! 1474 01:09:31,769 --> 01:09:33,608 (SMACKING) 1475 01:09:33,610 --> 01:09:35,743 (GASPING) 1476 01:09:35,745 --> 01:09:36,578 I'm sorry. 1477 01:09:37,425 --> 01:09:38,808 I don't know why I did that. 1478 01:09:40,532 --> 01:09:42,471 You're a goddess. 1479 01:09:42,473 --> 01:09:46,609 (EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC) 1480 01:09:46,611 --> 01:09:48,778 (HUFFING) 1481 01:10:02,125 --> 01:10:04,292 (HUFFING) 1482 01:10:16,364 --> 01:10:18,614 (LAUGHING) 1483 01:10:27,329 --> 01:10:29,399 My bra. (GIGGLING) 1484 01:10:29,401 --> 01:10:33,318 (EXCITING NEW WAVE BEAT MUSIC) 1485 01:10:44,308 --> 01:10:46,475 (MOANING) 1486 01:11:01,225 --> 01:11:05,308 You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 1487 01:11:10,118 --> 01:11:13,285 (DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC) 1488 01:11:17,087 --> 01:11:19,754 (AMBIENT MUSIC) 1489 01:11:29,462 --> 01:11:31,082 Hey. 1490 01:11:31,084 --> 01:11:31,917 Hey. 1491 01:11:38,951 --> 01:11:40,315 Wait. 1492 01:11:40,317 --> 01:11:41,650 I wanna see you. 1493 01:11:47,354 --> 01:11:48,514 There you are. 1494 01:11:48,516 --> 01:11:50,766 (GIGGLING) 1495 01:11:55,157 --> 01:11:57,324 (MOANING) 1496 01:12:01,964 --> 01:12:04,491 (KNOCKING) 1497 01:12:04,493 --> 01:12:05,564 Trista? 1498 01:12:05,566 --> 01:12:06,397 EVAN: It's Evan. 1499 01:12:06,399 --> 01:12:08,013 (GASPING) 1500 01:12:08,015 --> 01:12:10,120 How is she here? 1501 01:12:10,122 --> 01:12:12,483 No one locked the door! 1502 01:12:12,485 --> 01:12:13,316 Hold on. 1503 01:12:13,318 --> 01:12:14,751 (THUDDING) Shit! 1504 01:12:14,753 --> 01:12:15,824 (GROANING) 1505 01:12:15,826 --> 01:12:17,409 Hold on one minute. 1506 01:12:22,427 --> 01:12:23,972 A thousand pardons 1507 01:12:23,974 --> 01:12:26,697 for my behavior last night. 1508 01:12:28,464 --> 01:12:31,162 I know you are not the one who told Bridget. 1509 01:12:31,164 --> 01:12:33,352 I know you wouldn't do that. 1510 01:12:33,354 --> 01:12:34,592 Hey. 1511 01:12:34,594 --> 01:12:37,282 Now is not the best time right now. 1512 01:12:37,284 --> 01:12:38,817 If you know what I mean. 1513 01:12:41,079 --> 01:12:42,972 Oh shit. 1514 01:12:42,974 --> 01:12:44,858 You have a girl back there? 1515 01:12:44,860 --> 01:12:46,502 (LAUGHING) 1516 01:12:46,504 --> 01:12:48,547 Yeah, I can't wait to tell you all about it. 1517 01:12:48,549 --> 01:12:50,242 I gotta tell you, I always wondered about you. 1518 01:12:50,244 --> 01:12:52,202 I thought maybe you were one of those straight girls 1519 01:12:52,204 --> 01:12:53,252 who pretends to be gay 1520 01:12:53,254 --> 01:12:55,572 because she thinks it makes her more interesting. 1521 01:12:55,574 --> 01:12:57,411 Evan, you have no idea. 1522 01:12:57,413 --> 01:12:58,541 Oh. 1523 01:12:58,543 --> 01:13:01,296 Hey, just confirm for me that it's a woman in there. 1524 01:13:10,183 --> 01:13:11,783 This isn't what it looks like. 1525 01:13:12,693 --> 01:13:14,743 It looks like you fucked my girlfriend. 1526 01:13:16,813 --> 01:13:19,846 That's exactly what it looks like. 1527 01:13:21,323 --> 01:13:23,316 You know it wasn't her idea, Evan. 1528 01:13:26,833 --> 01:13:28,761 I know that if we fight, you'll win, 1529 01:13:28,763 --> 01:13:31,391 but I will inflict as much damage on you as possible 1530 01:13:31,393 --> 01:13:32,311 before you bring me down. 1531 01:13:32,313 --> 01:13:33,731 And you will have to kill me 1532 01:13:33,733 --> 01:13:35,633 before I let you go anywhere near her. 1533 01:13:39,013 --> 01:13:41,806 You got a lot of, what is that word you people use? 1534 01:13:42,873 --> 01:13:44,531 Chutzpah? 1535 01:13:44,533 --> 01:13:45,930 Yeah, chutzpah. 1536 01:13:47,363 --> 01:13:48,581 Stop it, Evan. 1537 01:13:48,583 --> 01:13:50,436 Do not speak to me! 1538 01:13:55,213 --> 01:13:57,876 Do not ever come back to my house again. 1539 01:13:59,663 --> 01:14:01,446 I don't ever wanna see your face. 1540 01:14:29,634 --> 01:14:32,634 (SOMBER BEAT MUSIC) 1541 01:14:56,422 --> 01:14:57,255 Hey. 1542 01:14:58,642 --> 01:15:00,190 Hey! 1543 01:15:00,192 --> 01:15:01,565 Hey, sleepyhead. 1544 01:15:02,545 --> 01:15:03,505 What time is it? 1545 01:15:04,652 --> 01:15:06,310 Time for me to go to work. 1546 01:15:06,312 --> 01:15:09,100 I'll be in so much trouble if I'm late again. 1547 01:15:09,102 --> 01:15:10,640 How long have I been here? 1548 01:15:10,642 --> 01:15:12,585 Hello, since we got back. 1549 01:15:13,592 --> 01:15:14,940 Wait. 1550 01:15:14,942 --> 01:15:18,060 We went to Paige's, you tackled me 1551 01:15:18,062 --> 01:15:22,057 and why don't I remember anything after that? 1552 01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:25,260 We came back here and you were super upset 1553 01:15:25,262 --> 01:15:27,560 and I have some diazepam, so... 1554 01:15:27,562 --> 01:15:29,130 How much did you give me? 1555 01:15:29,132 --> 01:15:30,850 You asked for a loading dose. 1556 01:15:30,852 --> 01:15:32,170 Fuck. 1557 01:15:32,172 --> 01:15:34,720 And I don't play so I got out these old pharmacy textbooks 1558 01:15:34,722 --> 01:15:38,121 and I asked you your weight and I added 20 pounds 1559 01:15:38,123 --> 01:15:42,258 because I know I always take off 20 when anyone asks me. 1560 01:15:42,260 --> 01:15:43,420 I gotta get out of here. 1561 01:15:43,422 --> 01:15:44,472 I wouldn't do that. 1562 01:15:46,632 --> 01:15:47,465 Oh no. 1563 01:15:55,612 --> 01:15:57,735 Like I said, a loading dose. 1564 01:15:58,792 --> 01:15:59,725 Up we go. 1565 01:16:01,149 --> 01:16:02,590 (GROANING) 1566 01:16:02,592 --> 01:16:04,145 This is why my wife left me. 1567 01:16:06,682 --> 01:16:09,463 No one should have to live like this. 1568 01:16:09,465 --> 01:16:11,715 I decline my invitation to your pity party. 1569 01:16:14,962 --> 01:16:18,519 This is like "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane." 1570 01:16:19,644 --> 01:16:20,990 And I'm baby Jane. (LAUGHING) 1571 01:16:20,992 --> 01:16:22,820 If the rule that you followed led you here, 1572 01:16:22,822 --> 01:16:24,425 of what use was the rule? 1573 01:16:25,294 --> 01:16:27,544 (GROANING) 1574 01:16:28,614 --> 01:16:30,387 (LAUGHING) 1575 01:16:30,389 --> 01:16:33,040 You dare get existential on me now. 1576 01:16:33,042 --> 01:16:36,045 You're Monday-morning quarterbacking your entire life. 1577 01:17:02,811 --> 01:17:03,644 Shoot. 1578 01:17:07,956 --> 01:17:08,802 (EVAN GRUNTING) 1579 01:17:08,804 --> 01:17:10,159 (GASPING) 1580 01:17:10,161 --> 01:17:11,698 You scared me. 1581 01:17:11,700 --> 01:17:13,374 I had your things sent to you. 1582 01:17:14,401 --> 01:17:17,301 Yeah, well, you forgot some of my weapons, so here I am. 1583 01:17:18,411 --> 01:17:19,969 I thought you'd be sleeping. 1584 01:17:19,971 --> 01:17:22,529 I've reverted to my old schedule. 1585 01:17:22,531 --> 01:17:25,324 Sleep by day, live by night. 1586 01:17:27,661 --> 01:17:28,979 What about your job? 1587 01:17:28,981 --> 01:17:30,581 Oh yeah, I haven't been going. 1588 01:17:31,731 --> 01:17:32,564 Why? 1589 01:17:35,231 --> 01:17:37,999 My dad took a contribution from an organization 1590 01:17:38,001 --> 01:17:41,109 whose leader once said that gays should be rounded up 1591 01:17:41,111 --> 01:17:42,334 and thrown off cliffs. 1592 01:17:43,391 --> 01:17:44,341 Are you quitting? 1593 01:17:52,821 --> 01:17:54,449 I moved in with Ryan. 1594 01:17:54,451 --> 01:17:55,284 I heard. 1595 01:17:56,241 --> 01:17:57,096 Will I also be footing the bill 1596 01:17:57,098 --> 01:17:58,764 for your share of Ryan's rent? 1597 01:17:59,730 --> 01:18:01,589 I don't have to listen to this. 1598 01:18:01,591 --> 01:18:02,424 Sweets, 1599 01:18:04,241 --> 01:18:05,941 you couldn't ignore me if you try. 1600 01:18:07,111 --> 01:18:08,819 Don't throw that in my face! 1601 01:18:08,821 --> 01:18:09,652 What? 1602 01:18:09,654 --> 01:18:11,779 That I've been paying for your Ivy League education? 1603 01:18:11,781 --> 01:18:13,249 Or that I have supported you for years 1604 01:18:13,251 --> 01:18:18,251 and I've only asked you for one, one thing, in return?! 1605 01:18:18,711 --> 01:18:21,739 How could I marry someone who did what you did to me? 1606 01:18:21,741 --> 01:18:22,809 I did nothing to you! 1607 01:18:22,811 --> 01:18:23,729 Yeah, that's right, 1608 01:18:23,731 --> 01:18:25,289 you were too busy doing it to someone else! 1609 01:18:25,291 --> 01:18:26,649 You let Dov fuck you! 1610 01:18:26,651 --> 01:18:29,529 I know it wasn't the other way around, pillow princess. 1611 01:18:29,531 --> 01:18:31,614 You've always been more of a taker. 1612 01:18:33,211 --> 01:18:37,089 You have fucked everyone and everything 1613 01:18:37,091 --> 01:18:39,391 and you've been doing it since the day we met! 1614 01:18:40,711 --> 01:18:41,544 And I, 1615 01:18:43,531 --> 01:18:45,509 I loved you too much to admit to myself 1616 01:18:45,511 --> 01:18:46,342 what I knew to be true. 1617 01:18:46,344 --> 01:18:48,399 Love me or you needed me? 1618 01:18:48,401 --> 01:18:50,159 Which one, Bridget? 1619 01:18:50,161 --> 01:18:50,994 You love me? 1620 01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:54,489 It's very easy to be taken care of, isn't it? 1621 01:18:54,491 --> 01:18:56,988 Makes it so much easier not to see the things 1622 01:18:56,990 --> 01:18:58,420 you don't want to. 1623 01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:01,331 What changed it for you? 1624 01:19:01,333 --> 01:19:03,600 What made you go, "You know, I've had a really great time 1625 01:19:03,602 --> 01:19:05,185 "not having to work for anything 1626 01:19:05,187 --> 01:19:06,515 "but now I think I'm gonna get rid of 1627 01:19:06,517 --> 01:19:08,007 "good old reliable Evan." 1628 01:19:10,400 --> 01:19:12,373 I fucking love you! 1629 01:19:13,333 --> 01:19:16,718 I've loved you since I was 18 years old. 1630 01:19:16,720 --> 01:19:18,528 Not a day has gone by since 1631 01:19:18,530 --> 01:19:21,328 that you haven't been the love of my fucking life! 1632 01:19:21,330 --> 01:19:23,918 I know you're a cheater, I know you screw around. 1633 01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:26,321 That is why I wouldn't marry you! 1634 01:19:26,323 --> 01:19:29,058 I will stop fucking around when I have tangible proof 1635 01:19:29,060 --> 01:19:30,221 that you're not in this for a free ride. 1636 01:19:30,223 --> 01:19:32,278 You had something better than tangible, 1637 01:19:32,280 --> 01:19:34,698 you had something real! 1638 01:19:34,700 --> 01:19:36,550 You're discussing us in past tense. 1639 01:19:37,630 --> 01:19:39,447 Doesn't get any more real than that. 1640 01:19:42,168 --> 01:19:43,941 Shut up for a second. 1641 01:19:43,943 --> 01:19:45,360 Shut the fuck up. 1642 01:19:47,410 --> 01:19:49,460 Or maybe it was your guilt that was real. 1643 01:19:51,980 --> 01:19:54,858 And why would I feel guilty, Evan? 1644 01:19:54,860 --> 01:19:57,578 I've always been there for you when no one else was. 1645 01:19:57,580 --> 01:19:59,963 Maybe you were guilting yourself into staying with me. 1646 01:20:02,921 --> 01:20:04,451 Stupid. 1647 01:20:04,453 --> 01:20:06,003 Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 1648 01:20:09,190 --> 01:20:11,218 You are telling me that you've been fucking around 1649 01:20:11,220 --> 01:20:13,555 this whole time because you thought 1650 01:20:13,557 --> 01:20:15,988 I felt I owed you something?! 1651 01:20:15,990 --> 01:20:18,152 That I was using you?! 1652 01:20:18,154 --> 01:20:21,388 And all you had to do was ask me and I woulda told you 1653 01:20:21,390 --> 01:20:22,933 that none of that was true! 1654 01:20:28,020 --> 01:20:28,953 I love you. 1655 01:20:31,070 --> 01:20:32,448 I love you! I love you! 1656 01:20:32,450 --> 01:20:33,413 I love you! 1657 01:20:39,690 --> 01:20:41,228 Say 1658 01:20:41,230 --> 01:20:42,063 something. 1659 01:20:47,513 --> 01:20:49,013 Good luck in the real world. 1660 01:20:52,421 --> 01:20:54,671 (SMACKING) 1661 01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:57,984 (CHUCKLING) 1662 01:21:07,289 --> 01:21:09,139 This is the part where I leave you. 1663 01:21:34,220 --> 01:21:37,137 (FAINT BEAT MUSIC) 1664 01:21:55,616 --> 01:21:58,224 "The Shipwreck Diaries. 1665 01:21:58,226 --> 01:22:01,359 "A Novel by Dov Dolenz." 1666 01:22:03,489 --> 01:22:04,792 You wrote a book? 1667 01:22:07,221 --> 01:22:08,517 (LAUGHING) 1668 01:22:08,519 --> 01:22:09,352 Yeah. 1669 01:22:11,459 --> 01:22:12,377 Let's go read it. 1670 01:22:12,379 --> 01:22:13,212 Okay. 1671 01:22:26,352 --> 01:22:27,497 Dov. 1672 01:22:27,499 --> 01:22:28,332 Yeah? 1673 01:22:30,149 --> 01:22:31,292 This is amazing. 1674 01:22:32,919 --> 01:22:34,117 Are you sure? 1675 01:22:34,119 --> 01:22:35,987 I mean, I've had women say that before 1676 01:22:35,989 --> 01:22:38,942 but I haven't always trusted their sincerity. 1677 01:22:38,944 --> 01:22:39,777 Yes. 1678 01:22:40,729 --> 01:22:43,717 This is so exciting, I mean, you wrote a book. 1679 01:22:43,719 --> 01:22:45,937 I'll be back to writing engagement announcements tomorrow. 1680 01:22:45,939 --> 01:22:48,722 Yeah, maybe, but this book is gonna be big. 1681 01:22:50,189 --> 01:22:51,922 When did you do this? 1682 01:22:52,809 --> 01:22:54,407 The last three nights I just stayed up. 1683 01:22:54,409 --> 01:22:55,731 It was pouring out of me. 1684 01:22:56,798 --> 01:22:57,631 It was you. 1685 01:22:59,428 --> 01:23:02,378 Bridget, I couldn't have written this if it wasn't for you. 1686 01:23:08,488 --> 01:23:09,321 Dov. 1687 01:23:12,294 --> 01:23:14,461 (MOANING) 1688 01:23:23,963 --> 01:23:26,130 (HUFFING) 1689 01:23:44,908 --> 01:23:47,081 Can I be godmother to your finger babies? 1690 01:23:49,768 --> 01:23:50,601 Very funny. 1691 01:23:52,065 --> 01:23:54,232 (MOANING) 1692 01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:03,769 I need to share this book with Ryan. 1693 01:24:03,771 --> 01:24:04,602 No 1694 01:24:04,604 --> 01:24:05,437 I gotta show her. 1695 01:24:07,968 --> 01:24:10,098 Yeah, yes, yes, yes. 1696 01:24:20,261 --> 01:24:22,428 (SIGHING) 1697 01:24:25,618 --> 01:24:26,781 I'll be back. 1698 01:24:31,372 --> 01:24:33,959 (SIGHING) 1699 01:24:33,961 --> 01:24:37,711 Ryan, Dov wrote a novel and it's really good. 1700 01:24:38,934 --> 01:24:40,506 "The Shipwreck Diaries." 1701 01:24:40,508 --> 01:24:42,008 I loved that when I was a kid. 1702 01:24:42,848 --> 01:24:45,531 This is Dov's book. 1703 01:24:46,828 --> 01:24:47,766 Gotta split. 1704 01:24:47,768 --> 01:24:49,639 One of my friends is waiting on me. 1705 01:24:49,641 --> 01:24:51,786 Have I got any messages? 1706 01:24:51,788 --> 01:24:53,057 Is my dad dead? 1707 01:24:53,059 --> 01:24:53,890 (GIGGLING) Dad-dead. 1708 01:24:53,892 --> 01:24:54,945 Ryan, are these the new friends 1709 01:24:54,947 --> 01:24:56,525 that Evan had to save you from? 1710 01:24:56,527 --> 01:24:59,130 Oh, that Evan, telling tales out of school. 1711 01:25:05,927 --> 01:25:07,460 She's falling apart. 1712 01:25:08,337 --> 01:25:10,537 Hey, even the Sistine Chapel is crumbling. 1713 01:25:12,197 --> 01:25:13,030 Yeah. 1714 01:25:14,577 --> 01:25:15,410 Dov, 1715 01:25:17,447 --> 01:25:18,350 your book. 1716 01:25:19,577 --> 01:25:20,935 Second thoughts. 1717 01:25:20,937 --> 01:25:22,875 Not as great as you thought it was five minutes ago? 1718 01:25:22,877 --> 01:25:23,915 It's amazing. 1719 01:25:23,917 --> 01:25:26,950 It's just the characters, 1720 01:25:28,417 --> 01:25:30,265 it's us, right, the gang? 1721 01:25:30,267 --> 01:25:32,745 You, me, Trista, 1722 01:25:32,747 --> 01:25:34,085 Evan, Ryan? 1723 01:25:34,087 --> 01:25:36,640 Yeah but I'm not anticipating any lawsuits. 1724 01:25:39,387 --> 01:25:40,722 And I'm Kahlan 1725 01:25:40,724 --> 01:25:41,760 and you're Cara? 1726 01:25:43,127 --> 01:25:44,856 Pretty obvious, huh? 1727 01:25:44,858 --> 01:25:46,025 And Kahlan and Cara, 1728 01:25:46,027 --> 01:25:48,135 they wind up together in the end, right? 1729 01:25:48,137 --> 01:25:50,495 Specifically moving in together and getting married. 1730 01:25:50,497 --> 01:25:54,015 Oh, right, but Bridget, it's just a book. 1731 01:25:54,017 --> 01:25:57,100 I've been up the past two days, three days. 1732 01:25:59,034 --> 01:26:01,394 It's all artistic license. 1733 01:26:01,396 --> 01:26:02,229 I know. 1734 01:26:04,817 --> 01:26:06,540 I just need you to understand, 1735 01:26:08,497 --> 01:26:10,630 I just got out of a really bad situation. 1736 01:26:12,307 --> 01:26:14,705 Is this what you think this is, a bad situation? 1737 01:26:14,707 --> 01:26:15,710 No, no. 1738 01:26:18,675 --> 01:26:19,990 It's wonderful. 1739 01:26:21,567 --> 01:26:24,010 But it's still a situation. 1740 01:26:25,654 --> 01:26:26,487 Oh. 1741 01:26:27,827 --> 01:26:28,660 Okay. 1742 01:26:30,177 --> 01:26:32,122 That night, when I found out you'd written 1743 01:26:32,124 --> 01:26:33,510 "blue torch light" for me, 1744 01:26:34,397 --> 01:26:36,607 and then you wrote another poem on the spot 1745 01:26:38,007 --> 01:26:41,465 and beautiful words were just coming out of you. 1746 01:26:41,467 --> 01:26:43,700 Beautiful words always come out of you. 1747 01:26:44,717 --> 01:26:49,405 I just got so lost in everything that you were saying 1748 01:26:49,407 --> 01:26:51,905 and in everything that you are. 1749 01:26:51,907 --> 01:26:53,400 And I'm really good in bed. 1750 01:27:00,089 --> 01:27:02,139 It's easy to fall in love with someone. 1751 01:27:04,926 --> 01:27:06,949 Falling out of love, 1752 01:27:07,816 --> 01:27:10,139 that is a lot harder. 1753 01:27:12,266 --> 01:27:14,416 It always comes back to Evan, doesn't it? 1754 01:27:17,236 --> 01:27:18,256 I wish... 1755 01:27:19,826 --> 01:27:20,659 I... 1756 01:27:23,446 --> 01:27:25,919 I wish I could forget. 1757 01:27:26,876 --> 01:27:27,709 But... 1758 01:27:29,996 --> 01:27:31,546 She's been the love of my life. 1759 01:27:39,206 --> 01:27:40,405 Okay. 1760 01:27:40,407 --> 01:27:41,779 I understand. 1761 01:27:43,976 --> 01:27:45,389 You gave me the inspiration. 1762 01:27:46,966 --> 01:27:49,799 I got the book but I lost the girl. 1763 01:27:50,976 --> 01:27:55,604 You are gonna get so much more out of this book 1764 01:27:55,606 --> 01:27:57,179 than you ever would me. 1765 01:27:58,716 --> 01:28:00,229 I respectfully disagree. 1766 01:28:07,306 --> 01:28:08,659 I don't wanna lose you. 1767 01:28:12,283 --> 01:28:13,116 I need you. 1768 01:28:15,106 --> 01:28:17,189 (CRYING) 1769 01:28:19,916 --> 01:28:20,766 I need you too. 1770 01:28:22,641 --> 01:28:26,308 (FAINT DRAMATIC BEAT MUSIC) 1771 01:28:31,046 --> 01:28:33,224 Nobody understands the rules for the Brat Pack. 1772 01:28:33,226 --> 01:28:36,024 The rules for the Brat Pack are, A, 1773 01:28:36,026 --> 01:28:38,304 starring in either "St. Elmo's Fire" 1774 01:28:38,306 --> 01:28:39,464 or "The Breakfast Club," 1775 01:28:39,466 --> 01:28:41,374 and B, being in at least one other movie 1776 01:28:41,376 --> 01:28:43,044 with anther Brat Packer. 1777 01:28:43,046 --> 01:28:45,314 So that's eight people. 1778 01:28:45,316 --> 01:28:47,104 Judd Nelson, 1779 01:28:47,106 --> 01:28:48,604 Rob Lowe, 1780 01:28:48,606 --> 01:28:50,214 Molly Ringwald, 1781 01:28:50,216 --> 01:28:52,154 Anthony Michael Hall, Emilio Estevez, 1782 01:28:52,156 --> 01:28:54,574 Ally Sheedy, Andrew McCarthy, 1783 01:28:54,576 --> 01:28:57,023 and last but certainly not least, 1784 01:28:57,025 --> 01:28:58,083 Demi Moore. 1785 01:28:58,085 --> 01:28:59,053 Who didn't make the cut? 1786 01:28:59,055 --> 01:29:00,473 Mare Winningham. 1787 01:29:00,475 --> 01:29:02,803 Mare was in "St. Elmo's Fire" 1788 01:29:02,805 --> 01:29:05,405 but never in another movie with another Brat Packer. 1789 01:29:10,524 --> 01:29:11,863 Mare Winningham. 1790 01:29:11,865 --> 01:29:12,793 Who is he? 1791 01:29:12,795 --> 01:29:16,008 Oh my God, I don't even know why I talk to you. 1792 01:29:17,190 --> 01:29:20,283 Whenever you start talking about pistachios and inter... 1793 01:29:20,285 --> 01:29:22,303 Pastiche and intertertextuality. 1794 01:29:22,305 --> 01:29:24,013 Right, intertertextuality. 1795 01:29:24,015 --> 01:29:27,113 It sounds like a new sexual orientation. 1796 01:29:27,115 --> 01:29:29,865 If you were on the Table of Elements, you'd be moron. 1797 01:29:36,405 --> 01:29:37,438 Yeah, it's me! 1798 01:29:44,622 --> 01:29:46,705 (CRYING) 1799 01:29:48,467 --> 01:29:50,217 Is your phone hot? 1800 01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:07,401 Evan? 1801 01:30:13,451 --> 01:30:14,284 Evan? 1802 01:30:18,611 --> 01:30:19,444 Evan? 1803 01:30:26,733 --> 01:30:27,566 Evan. 1804 01:30:29,671 --> 01:30:30,668 Evan. 1805 01:30:33,305 --> 01:30:34,883 Hey. 1806 01:30:34,885 --> 01:30:35,716 Evan! 1807 01:30:35,718 --> 01:30:36,558 Come on, wake up! 1808 01:30:40,255 --> 01:30:41,088 Evan. 1809 01:30:42,467 --> 01:30:44,634 (SIGHING) 1810 01:30:52,314 --> 01:30:54,481 (GASPING) 1811 01:30:56,454 --> 01:30:57,592 I had to. 1812 01:30:57,594 --> 01:30:59,987 Why are you here? 1813 01:31:01,044 --> 01:31:01,877 Again! 1814 01:31:03,173 --> 01:31:04,117 Fuck! 1815 01:31:05,864 --> 01:31:07,442 Nice, She-Ra. 1816 01:31:07,444 --> 01:31:08,855 It's invaluable, okay? 1817 01:31:08,857 --> 01:31:10,432 I couldn't leave it in the car. 1818 01:31:10,434 --> 01:31:12,712 It's nice to know you cherish something so dearly. 1819 01:31:12,714 --> 01:31:14,402 Why haven't you been taking my calls? 1820 01:31:14,404 --> 01:31:15,682 I'm focused on the future. 1821 01:31:15,684 --> 01:31:18,062 Not the past. 1822 01:31:18,064 --> 01:31:21,572 This isn't about me and you, Evan, this is about Ryan. 1823 01:31:21,574 --> 01:31:23,702 She called me while I was at the museum, crying. 1824 01:31:23,704 --> 01:31:25,019 She said the debt collectors are coming to take away 1825 01:31:25,021 --> 01:31:27,161 all of her stuff tomorrow. 1826 01:31:27,163 --> 01:31:28,272 I thought she was loaded. 1827 01:31:28,274 --> 01:31:31,222 I don't understand it anymore than you do but 1828 01:31:31,224 --> 01:31:33,502 she said she's gonna lock herself in her bathroom 1829 01:31:33,504 --> 01:31:35,962 and drown herself in the bathtub. 1830 01:31:35,964 --> 01:31:38,264 That is literally an impossible thing to do. 1831 01:31:40,044 --> 01:31:42,262 Well we have to do something. 1832 01:31:42,264 --> 01:31:44,192 This is not am MP. 1833 01:31:44,194 --> 01:31:45,027 It's a YP. 1834 01:31:46,474 --> 01:31:48,152 Your problem. 1835 01:31:48,154 --> 01:31:49,232 Evan, what's wrong with you? 1836 01:31:49,234 --> 01:31:50,757 This is Ryan. 1837 01:31:52,014 --> 01:31:53,327 She needs our help. 1838 01:32:17,725 --> 01:32:19,975 (JIGGLING) 1839 01:32:25,694 --> 01:32:27,651 Oh, I gotta get this off. 1840 01:32:34,192 --> 01:32:35,275 Get this off. 1841 01:32:36,683 --> 01:32:41,023 Oh, my baby. 1842 01:32:41,025 --> 01:32:41,858 Thank you. 1843 01:32:47,129 --> 01:32:48,111 Bridget. 1844 01:32:48,113 --> 01:32:48,946 What? 1845 01:32:52,984 --> 01:32:54,172 Ryan? 1846 01:32:54,174 --> 01:32:55,501 Stay away! 1847 01:32:55,503 --> 01:32:57,201 If you come any closer, I'll jump. 1848 01:32:57,203 --> 01:32:59,241 Oh, for the love of. 1849 01:32:59,243 --> 01:33:01,171 Ryan, sweetheart, 1850 01:33:01,173 --> 01:33:02,611 we've all been there. 1851 01:33:02,613 --> 01:33:04,681 Remember that time I crashed my dad's Delorean 1852 01:33:04,683 --> 01:33:06,851 and decided to drink myself to death? 1853 01:33:06,853 --> 01:33:09,403 You stayed up all night with me feeding me edamame. 1854 01:33:11,033 --> 01:33:12,524 We're gonna call the police if you don't stop this. 1855 01:33:12,526 --> 01:33:14,431 I'll throw myself over the railing 1856 01:33:14,433 --> 01:33:15,761 before you even get to the phone. 1857 01:33:15,763 --> 01:33:17,806 Maybe threatening her wasn't the best idea. 1858 01:33:18,709 --> 01:33:20,648 (DOORKNOB JIGGLING) 1859 01:33:20,650 --> 01:33:22,193 What the fuck is it now? 1860 01:33:22,195 --> 01:33:23,612 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1861 01:33:28,693 --> 01:33:31,031 You invite Dov to Ryan's nervous breakdown? 1862 01:33:31,033 --> 01:33:31,864 BRIDGET: I called everyone. 1863 01:33:31,866 --> 01:33:33,186 It's a real party. 1864 01:33:38,373 --> 01:33:39,981 How is she? 1865 01:33:39,983 --> 01:33:42,541 Ryan, you're scaring us. 1866 01:33:42,543 --> 01:33:44,141 Leave me alone. 1867 01:33:44,143 --> 01:33:46,241 Honey, look, 1868 01:33:46,243 --> 01:33:48,921 at that distance, with your weight at that velocity, 1869 01:33:48,923 --> 01:33:52,131 you'd be more likely to break your legs than die. 1870 01:33:52,133 --> 01:33:53,171 EVAN: Keep talking to her like that 1871 01:33:53,173 --> 01:33:55,341 and she'll definitely decide to kill herself. 1872 01:33:55,343 --> 01:33:56,565 Honey, why don't you let us just, 1873 01:33:56,567 --> 01:33:59,540 you look so tired, we'll come up there and talk to you. 1874 01:34:00,999 --> 01:34:02,281 I heard you wrote a book. 1875 01:34:02,283 --> 01:34:03,116 Yeah. 1876 01:34:04,383 --> 01:34:05,216 Wanna read it? 1877 01:34:14,562 --> 01:34:16,111 Evan, don't mess around! 1878 01:34:16,113 --> 01:34:17,521 Evan, stop it, that's priceless. 1879 01:34:17,523 --> 01:34:18,751 I mean, invaluable. 1880 01:34:18,753 --> 01:34:21,131 Me or the sword? 1881 01:34:21,133 --> 01:34:23,900 Fuck, it's turning into Hamlet in here. 1882 01:34:23,902 --> 01:34:28,902 I hope they all die in the end. 1883 01:34:29,593 --> 01:34:31,581 You stole the thing I love most. 1884 01:34:31,583 --> 01:34:33,321 Maybe if you hadn't treated her like a thing, 1885 01:34:33,323 --> 01:34:34,773 I wouldn't have been able to. 1886 01:34:35,723 --> 01:34:37,941 Evan, you can do tens of thousands of dollars 1887 01:34:37,943 --> 01:34:39,341 worth of damage to that sword. 1888 01:34:39,343 --> 01:34:40,958 Okay, she's worried about the sword. 1889 01:34:40,960 --> 01:34:43,091 I'm not concerned with consequences anymore. 1890 01:34:43,093 --> 01:34:44,801 Thanks to your little pep talk. 1891 01:34:44,803 --> 01:34:46,103 What did you say to her? 1892 01:34:47,633 --> 01:34:50,951 Maybe I told her I was leaving her for good 1893 01:34:50,953 --> 01:34:52,741 and then maybe I hit her? 1894 01:34:52,743 --> 01:34:53,921 Okay, okay. 1895 01:34:53,923 --> 01:34:55,650 She's armed like a knife and pushed to the brink 1896 01:34:55,652 --> 01:34:57,420 and I fucked her girlfriend. 1897 01:34:57,422 --> 01:34:59,245 Any last words, Dov Dolenz? 1898 01:35:01,672 --> 01:35:02,505 I love her. 1899 01:35:08,197 --> 01:35:09,114 I love her. 1900 01:35:10,612 --> 01:35:11,445 I love her. 1901 01:35:13,765 --> 01:35:15,576 (GASPING) 1902 01:35:15,578 --> 01:35:17,535 There is no peace in the Middle East. 1903 01:35:17,537 --> 01:35:19,820 This could technically be construed as a hate crime. 1904 01:35:19,822 --> 01:35:22,516 This is an act of war! 1905 01:35:22,518 --> 01:35:24,685 (YELLING) 1906 01:35:30,531 --> 01:35:32,560 (GASPING) 1907 01:35:32,562 --> 01:35:34,310 I think you may have anger issues. 1908 01:35:34,312 --> 01:35:36,200 You don't need to worry about anything. 1909 01:35:36,202 --> 01:35:37,772 Not where you're going. 1910 01:35:37,774 --> 01:35:39,540 (YELPING) 1911 01:35:39,542 --> 01:35:42,362 (SCREAMING) 1912 01:35:42,364 --> 01:35:44,781 (WHIMPERING) 1913 01:35:48,418 --> 01:35:50,408 Fuck! 1914 01:35:50,410 --> 01:35:51,639 Fuck! 1915 01:35:51,641 --> 01:35:54,666 (EVAN GASPING) 1916 01:35:54,668 --> 01:35:56,990 (SCREAMING) 1917 01:35:56,992 --> 01:35:59,159 (GASPING) 1918 01:36:03,582 --> 01:36:05,672 Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! 1919 01:36:05,674 --> 01:36:07,294 Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! 1920 01:36:07,296 --> 01:36:08,129 Oh my God! 1921 01:36:24,626 --> 01:36:25,910 Just... 1922 01:36:25,912 --> 01:36:27,114 Just let me have a look at it. 1923 01:36:27,116 --> 01:36:28,430 No! 1924 01:36:28,432 --> 01:36:31,895 None of you bitches touches me! 1925 01:36:34,600 --> 01:36:35,433 Evan? 1926 01:36:37,372 --> 01:36:38,770 Are you okay? 1927 01:36:38,772 --> 01:36:39,603 Me? 1928 01:36:39,605 --> 01:36:41,185 I'm fit as fucking fiddle. 1929 01:36:42,522 --> 01:36:43,800 BRIDGET: You have a knife in your back. 1930 01:36:43,802 --> 01:36:45,065 Yeah, I gathered. 1931 01:36:48,932 --> 01:36:50,460 Dov, call an ambulance. 1932 01:36:50,462 --> 01:36:52,010 Where's the phone? 1933 01:36:52,012 --> 01:36:53,275 Should we pull it out? 1934 01:36:53,277 --> 01:36:54,110 No! 1935 01:36:58,703 --> 01:37:01,620 BRIDGET: What have I done, Evan? 1936 01:37:09,721 --> 01:37:10,664 Oh, shit. 1937 01:37:14,591 --> 01:37:17,341 (BRIDGET CRYING) 1938 01:37:20,235 --> 01:37:22,652 (WHIMPERING) 1939 01:37:26,404 --> 01:37:28,654 (GROANING) 1940 01:37:47,751 --> 01:37:49,349 That's better. 1941 01:37:49,351 --> 01:37:50,289 What's wrong? 1942 01:37:50,291 --> 01:37:52,539 Did you run out of money? 1943 01:37:52,541 --> 01:37:53,374 We can help you. 1944 01:37:54,420 --> 01:37:56,069 It's not that. 1945 01:37:56,071 --> 01:37:57,034 It's my dad. 1946 01:37:58,511 --> 01:37:59,342 Did he die? 1947 01:37:59,344 --> 01:38:00,175 I'm so sorry. 1948 01:38:00,177 --> 01:38:01,884 No, that fucker's alive and well. 1949 01:38:02,941 --> 01:38:04,191 He was never really sick. 1950 01:38:05,251 --> 01:38:06,784 I made the whole thing up. 1951 01:38:08,211 --> 01:38:09,411 Why would you do that? 1952 01:38:10,333 --> 01:38:12,174 He cut me out of his life. 1953 01:38:13,251 --> 01:38:15,219 Not just financially. 1954 01:38:15,221 --> 01:38:16,054 Completely. 1955 01:38:19,101 --> 01:38:19,934 What happened? 1956 01:38:20,921 --> 01:38:23,059 His daughter is a lesbian. 1957 01:38:23,061 --> 01:38:26,714 I fuck women and that is enough to make him hate me. 1958 01:38:27,721 --> 01:38:28,964 He disposed of me. 1959 01:38:31,611 --> 01:38:32,444 He's not dead. 1960 01:38:33,441 --> 01:38:34,641 I'm the one that's dead. 1961 01:38:35,491 --> 01:38:37,089 Dead to him. 1962 01:38:37,091 --> 01:38:39,105 Honey, you could've told us. 1963 01:38:39,107 --> 01:38:40,307 I was too embarrassed. 1964 01:38:42,461 --> 01:38:43,611 So I said he was dying. 1965 01:38:45,251 --> 01:38:46,544 It seemed easier. 1966 01:38:48,921 --> 01:38:51,631 I was just so ashamed 1967 01:38:53,471 --> 01:38:56,458 and now I'm angry at myself 1968 01:38:56,460 --> 01:38:59,203 for feeling ashamed. 1969 01:39:00,840 --> 01:39:01,690 It should be him. 1970 01:39:04,070 --> 01:39:06,088 He should be the one who hates himself. 1971 01:39:06,090 --> 01:39:06,921 Not me. 1972 01:39:06,923 --> 01:39:07,756 You know, 1973 01:39:09,070 --> 01:39:10,668 when we're growing up, 1974 01:39:10,670 --> 01:39:11,808 when we're kids, 1975 01:39:11,810 --> 01:39:13,758 we know there's something different about us. 1976 01:39:13,760 --> 01:39:16,633 Yeah, I knew I liked girls from the age of five. 1977 01:39:17,483 --> 01:39:18,748 I've always been ahead of the curve. 1978 01:39:18,750 --> 01:39:19,948 When we know there's something different 1979 01:39:19,950 --> 01:39:21,728 and we can't put words to it. 1980 01:39:21,730 --> 01:39:23,853 That turns into self-loathing. 1981 01:39:25,550 --> 01:39:26,798 Then we get a little older 1982 01:39:26,800 --> 01:39:29,108 and we realize that society doesn't accept 1983 01:39:29,110 --> 01:39:30,868 the parts of us that make us different 1984 01:39:30,870 --> 01:39:34,823 and that self-loathing turns in to shame. 1985 01:39:36,510 --> 01:39:37,768 I'm stronger than that. 1986 01:39:37,770 --> 01:39:38,928 I know you are. 1987 01:39:38,930 --> 01:39:40,428 You're a tough cookie but 1988 01:39:40,430 --> 01:39:43,188 you can't fix what your family and society did to you. 1989 01:39:43,190 --> 01:39:45,183 You can't un-fuck up a kid. 1990 01:39:47,470 --> 01:39:50,437 I'm not getting five thousand a month anymore. 1991 01:39:50,439 --> 01:39:52,568 I had some money saved up. 1992 01:39:52,570 --> 01:39:54,963 I spent it all. 1993 01:39:55,880 --> 01:39:58,503 I just wanted the hurt to go away. 1994 01:40:00,590 --> 01:40:01,493 Who does that? 1995 01:40:02,430 --> 01:40:04,668 What kind of man turns his back on his daughter 1996 01:40:04,670 --> 01:40:05,888 just because she's gay? 1997 01:40:05,890 --> 01:40:07,768 You don't need him. 1998 01:40:07,770 --> 01:40:10,498 Okay, you have me and those three losers downstairs 1999 01:40:10,500 --> 01:40:12,998 who would do anything for you. 2000 01:40:13,000 --> 01:40:16,328 Ryan, the four of us would die for you. 2001 01:40:16,330 --> 01:40:18,668 Fuck your dad, he's not your dad. 2002 01:40:18,670 --> 01:40:19,838 Evan's your dad. 2003 01:40:19,840 --> 01:40:23,528 And us, we're the rest of your fucked up family. 2004 01:40:23,530 --> 01:40:26,263 I'm just so confused. 2005 01:40:27,730 --> 01:40:29,113 Everything hurts. 2006 01:40:30,610 --> 01:40:31,443 I'm so 2007 01:40:33,070 --> 01:40:33,903 totally 2008 01:40:35,040 --> 01:40:35,873 lost. 2009 01:40:36,750 --> 01:40:38,158 Well, 2010 01:40:38,160 --> 01:40:39,258 with those words, 2011 01:40:39,260 --> 01:40:42,158 I officially pronounce you 2012 01:40:42,160 --> 01:40:43,203 a grownup. 2013 01:40:48,170 --> 01:40:50,588 Did you know I always wanted to make you coffee? 2014 01:40:50,590 --> 01:40:52,190 The way you do it with the foam. 2015 01:40:53,170 --> 01:40:54,977 I was gonna surprise you once, you were at the museum, 2016 01:40:54,979 --> 01:40:57,477 you were gonna come home and find it. 2017 01:40:57,479 --> 01:40:59,202 I tried but I failed. 2018 01:41:00,211 --> 01:41:02,525 I threw it all out and never told you. 2019 01:41:02,527 --> 01:41:03,952 I called an ambulance. 2020 01:41:06,857 --> 01:41:08,197 Oh, shit. 2021 01:41:08,199 --> 01:41:10,399 I don't like doing things I'm not good at. 2022 01:41:12,668 --> 01:41:14,017 Evan, 2023 01:41:14,019 --> 01:41:17,382 this is for the pain. 2024 01:41:22,348 --> 01:41:23,496 Okay. 2025 01:41:23,498 --> 01:41:26,907 Fuck, this jacket is vintage. 2026 01:41:26,909 --> 01:41:28,807 TRISTA: What the fuck happened here? 2027 01:41:28,809 --> 01:41:30,647 EVAN: Bridget stabbed me in the back. 2028 01:41:30,649 --> 01:41:31,987 I know, sweetie. 2029 01:41:31,989 --> 01:41:34,162 No, this time, 2030 01:41:35,269 --> 01:41:36,777 I really did stab her. 2031 01:41:36,779 --> 01:41:38,757 (LAUGHING) 2032 01:41:38,759 --> 01:41:39,590 Jesus. 2033 01:41:39,592 --> 01:41:41,107 Dov called an ambulance. 2034 01:41:41,109 --> 01:41:42,539 It should be here soon. 2035 01:41:44,029 --> 01:41:46,037 So, Ryan tries to commit suicide 2036 01:41:46,039 --> 01:41:47,677 and you three bitches find a way 2037 01:41:47,679 --> 01:41:49,322 to make it all about yourselves. 2038 01:41:50,437 --> 01:41:52,964 Is that one of Bridget's ancient daggers? 2039 01:41:52,966 --> 01:41:54,237 I believe so. 2040 01:41:54,239 --> 01:41:56,447 If that thing is 500 years old, 2041 01:41:56,449 --> 01:41:59,687 you're gonna have one hell of an infection. 2042 01:41:59,689 --> 01:42:01,452 Do not forget your dying king. 2043 01:42:02,429 --> 01:42:03,557 Is she gonna die? 2044 01:42:03,559 --> 01:42:06,159 No, baby, but I'm about to pass out from the pain. 2045 01:42:07,229 --> 01:42:08,682 Goodnight, sweet prince. 2046 01:42:10,155 --> 01:42:13,262 May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. 2047 01:42:14,239 --> 01:42:17,165 So what have I learned after all this time? 2048 01:42:17,167 --> 01:42:19,917 After all the fucking and partying. 2049 01:42:19,919 --> 01:42:22,669 Lying to friends, lovers, myself. 2050 01:42:22,671 --> 01:42:26,066 Playing this sick game in this sick world, 2051 01:42:26,068 --> 01:42:29,812 filled with liars and cheaters and depraved miscreants. 2052 01:42:32,069 --> 01:42:34,117 I'll tell you what I've learned. 2053 01:42:34,119 --> 01:42:36,789 One thing, and one thing only... 2054 01:42:38,189 --> 01:42:41,372 I fucking love being gay! 2055 01:42:44,239 --> 01:42:47,067 Hey, Evan, are you still there? 2056 01:42:47,069 --> 01:42:48,547 Yeah. 2057 01:42:48,549 --> 01:42:50,625 I thought you were about to pass out right then. 2058 01:42:50,627 --> 01:42:52,822 Yeah, that would've been the perfect place to do it. 2059 01:42:52,824 --> 01:42:55,681 Yeah, yeah, right at the end of that speech. 2060 01:42:56,539 --> 01:42:58,156 (GROANING) 2061 01:42:58,158 --> 01:42:59,601 TRISTA: Now she's passed out. 2062 01:43:00,618 --> 01:43:02,061 It's true what they say. 2063 01:43:02,958 --> 01:43:05,451 Timing really is everything. 2064 01:43:06,548 --> 01:43:08,081 Oh, the ambulance is here. 2065 01:43:09,358 --> 01:43:11,116 Yay. 2066 01:43:11,118 --> 01:43:12,021 Evan won't die. 2067 01:43:13,818 --> 01:43:16,376 Can I ride with her to the hospital? 2068 01:43:16,378 --> 01:43:18,711 I should probably get my stomach pumped. 2069 01:43:19,978 --> 01:43:20,917 Can I take out the knife now? 2070 01:43:20,919 --> 01:43:21,836 ALL: No! 2071 01:43:29,368 --> 01:43:30,526 BRIDGET: Where's your coffee machine? 2072 01:43:30,528 --> 01:43:33,261 Does anyone want some coffee? 2073 01:43:47,864 --> 01:43:49,256 Bye, losers. 2074 01:43:49,258 --> 01:43:50,461 Good to see you. 2075 01:43:54,804 --> 01:43:58,166 (FAINT BEAT MUSIC) 2076 01:43:58,168 --> 01:43:59,936 How's the shoulder? 2077 01:43:59,938 --> 01:44:00,896 Still sore? 2078 01:44:00,898 --> 01:44:02,366 Nothing that copious amounts of alcohol 2079 01:44:02,368 --> 01:44:03,518 and Vicodin can't cure. 2080 01:44:05,608 --> 01:44:06,441 Same old Evan. 2081 01:44:07,856 --> 01:44:09,351 I quit my father's campaign. 2082 01:44:11,758 --> 01:44:13,258 When were you gonna tell me? 2083 01:44:14,128 --> 01:44:16,978 When I finally mustered the ability to say 2084 01:44:19,138 --> 01:44:20,031 you were right. 2085 01:44:23,118 --> 01:44:23,949 You remember when I told you 2086 01:44:23,951 --> 01:44:27,003 about not liking not being good at things 2087 01:44:27,005 --> 01:44:28,655 like making coffee and saying I'm sorry? 2088 01:44:31,781 --> 01:44:35,864 But as for the coffee, I came up with a solution. 2089 01:44:37,388 --> 01:44:39,008 Instant coffee. 2090 01:44:39,010 --> 01:44:42,093 (MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC) 2091 01:44:52,332 --> 01:44:53,165 Bridget, 2092 01:44:57,018 --> 01:44:57,851 I'm sorry. 2093 01:45:13,608 --> 01:45:14,441 Evan, 2094 01:45:18,410 --> 01:45:19,743 this is oatmeal. 2095 01:45:21,730 --> 01:45:22,563 What? 2096 01:45:23,684 --> 01:45:25,381 (GIGGLING) 2097 01:45:25,383 --> 01:45:27,230 You made me oatmeal. 2098 01:45:28,223 --> 01:45:30,124 This is instant oatmeal. 2099 01:45:30,126 --> 01:45:32,376 (LAUGHING) 2100 01:45:48,458 --> 01:45:50,875 I'll never stop loving you. 2101 01:45:53,375 --> 01:45:54,208 Ditto. 2102 01:45:59,237 --> 01:46:02,920 Things are looking up for me. 2103 01:46:04,357 --> 01:46:07,257 I got promoted from writing engagement announcements 2104 01:46:08,138 --> 01:46:09,238 to writing obituaries. 2105 01:46:10,267 --> 01:46:12,105 That's super. 2106 01:46:12,107 --> 01:46:13,865 That's like the best news ever. 2107 01:46:13,867 --> 01:46:14,700 So great. 2108 01:46:16,837 --> 01:46:20,085 So, tell me more about the newspaper, please. 2109 01:46:20,087 --> 01:46:21,137 Where's Trista? 2110 01:46:21,139 --> 01:46:23,735 BRIDGET: Dov, come over here. 2111 01:46:23,737 --> 01:46:26,145 Oh my God, this conversation has to end. 2112 01:46:26,147 --> 01:46:28,251 So much suck. 2113 01:46:28,253 --> 01:46:31,336 (MUFFLED BEAT MUSIC) 2114 01:46:34,887 --> 01:46:36,665 So, I couldn't help but notice 2115 01:46:36,667 --> 01:46:39,820 you to have been avoiding each other all night. 2116 01:46:41,577 --> 01:46:42,772 My parents pulled the same act for years. 2117 01:46:42,774 --> 01:46:46,305 You're taking a position at a museum in Romania. 2118 01:46:46,307 --> 01:46:47,803 Seems like you're the one going to extremes 2119 01:46:47,805 --> 01:46:49,305 to avoid conflict. 2120 01:46:51,752 --> 01:46:52,585 True. 2121 01:46:54,486 --> 01:46:56,579 But I am confused. 2122 01:46:57,896 --> 01:46:58,979 I love you both. 2123 01:47:03,377 --> 01:47:04,727 But I need time for myself. 2124 01:47:06,836 --> 01:47:07,669 Cliche? 2125 01:47:09,290 --> 01:47:10,123 A little. 2126 01:47:15,186 --> 01:47:16,708 So, 2127 01:47:16,710 --> 01:47:17,543 friends? 2128 01:47:18,984 --> 01:47:19,817 Eh. 2129 01:47:20,810 --> 01:47:21,791 DOV: Okay. 2130 01:47:21,793 --> 01:47:22,624 Fine. 2131 01:47:22,626 --> 01:47:24,209 TRISTA: Bridget? 2132 01:47:29,688 --> 01:47:30,771 Crazy fuck! 2133 01:47:31,799 --> 01:47:33,709 Republican bitch! 2134 01:47:33,711 --> 01:47:35,809 Jesus Christ. 2135 01:47:42,116 --> 01:47:43,554 Well, fags, I'd stay 2136 01:47:43,556 --> 01:47:46,493 but I'm afraid you'd as me to help clean up. 2137 01:47:46,495 --> 01:47:47,434 I'll miss you, kid. 2138 01:47:47,436 --> 01:47:48,804 No you won't. 2139 01:47:48,806 --> 01:47:51,449 I'll miss the excessive drama you bring to my life. 2140 01:47:54,226 --> 01:47:56,194 Next week, Hanukkah party, my place. 2141 01:47:56,196 --> 01:47:58,504 I'm gonna bust out the Bong Mitzvah. 2142 01:47:58,506 --> 01:47:59,403 Goodnight, homos. 2143 01:48:02,476 --> 01:48:04,744 I should probably be going too. 2144 01:48:04,746 --> 01:48:07,204 Early flight, long flight. 2145 01:48:07,206 --> 01:48:08,114 You coming, Ry? 2146 01:48:08,116 --> 01:48:09,504 I wish I was coming? 2147 01:48:09,506 --> 01:48:10,744 Get it? 2148 01:48:10,746 --> 01:48:12,024 No? 2149 01:48:12,026 --> 01:48:13,654 No, I'm gonna stay up. 2150 01:48:13,656 --> 01:48:14,706 I'll take her back. 2151 01:48:15,676 --> 01:48:16,507 Okay, well, 2152 01:48:16,509 --> 01:48:20,079 I am going to go Benadryl myself to sleep. 2153 01:48:21,396 --> 01:48:22,254 See you in the morning. 2154 01:48:22,256 --> 01:48:23,306 - Bye, babe. - Yeah. 2155 01:48:24,396 --> 01:48:27,704 - I'll walk you out. - I'll walk you out. 2156 01:48:27,706 --> 01:48:29,056 You did try to behead me. 2157 01:48:33,826 --> 01:48:36,114 I'll see you in half a year. 2158 01:48:36,116 --> 01:48:38,299 Just try to stay out of trouble. 2159 01:48:39,155 --> 01:48:44,155 What's the fun in that? 2160 01:49:13,319 --> 01:49:15,693 I know you have something to say. 2161 01:49:15,695 --> 01:49:16,708 Cheeky monkey. 2162 01:49:21,518 --> 01:49:24,185 Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! 2163 01:49:32,135 --> 01:49:34,773 So not to sound arrogant or anything, you know, 2164 01:49:34,775 --> 01:49:37,788 but I am gonna be gone for six months. 2165 01:49:39,225 --> 01:49:40,308 What I'm saying is, 2166 01:49:41,475 --> 01:49:42,808 if you meet someone. 2167 01:49:44,655 --> 01:49:45,842 No, I get it. 2168 01:49:48,545 --> 01:49:49,738 I packed your poem. 2169 01:49:50,735 --> 01:49:51,685 It's in my carryon. 2170 01:49:55,282 --> 01:49:57,252 "Ice-kissed frost fire." 2171 01:50:00,675 --> 01:50:02,065 I wish I could be like you 2172 01:50:03,547 --> 01:50:05,348 and have the right words. 2173 01:50:09,920 --> 01:50:13,015 I wish I had the right words right now. 2174 01:50:52,190 --> 01:50:55,022 (ENGINE RUMBLING) 2175 01:51:02,510 --> 01:51:04,760 (GROANING) 2176 01:51:06,280 --> 01:51:07,589 (SIGHING) 2177 01:51:07,591 --> 01:51:09,662 So I have this friend 2178 01:51:09,664 --> 01:51:12,424 and she really liked her best friend's girlfriend 2179 01:51:13,264 --> 01:51:15,152 and she thought she'd be a much better fit 2180 01:51:15,154 --> 01:51:17,922 for her friend's girlfriends 2181 01:51:17,924 --> 01:51:19,564 than her friend 2182 01:51:20,414 --> 01:51:23,262 and so she set into motion 2183 01:51:23,264 --> 01:51:27,714 a series of events that would lead to them breaking up 2184 01:51:29,089 --> 01:51:32,412 and it took a really long time 2185 01:51:32,414 --> 01:51:37,122 and a lot of really manipulative behavior 2186 01:51:37,124 --> 01:51:39,707 but eventually this girl's plan worked. 2187 01:51:40,824 --> 01:51:42,002 What happened? 2188 01:51:42,004 --> 01:51:42,918 What do you mean? 2189 01:51:42,920 --> 01:51:44,002 What happened? 2190 01:51:44,004 --> 01:51:45,142 What do you mean? 2191 01:51:45,144 --> 01:51:48,162 Did your friend end up with her best friend's girlfriend? 2192 01:51:48,164 --> 01:51:49,452 I don't know. 2193 01:51:49,454 --> 01:51:51,227 That remains to be seen. 2194 01:51:53,184 --> 01:51:54,017 So, 2195 01:51:55,944 --> 01:51:58,202 what do you think of all that? 2196 01:51:58,204 --> 01:52:00,867 Do you think my friend is a bad person? 2197 01:52:23,824 --> 01:52:24,657 What? 2198 01:52:26,184 --> 01:52:27,533 Survival of the fittest, right? 2199 01:52:27,535 --> 01:52:29,402 (LAUGHING) 2200 01:52:29,404 --> 01:52:31,062 Yeah. 2201 01:52:31,064 --> 01:52:31,897 Totally. 2202 01:53:20,138 --> 01:53:22,305 (SIGHING) 2203 01:53:26,833 --> 01:53:29,011 Is there someplace you'd rather be? 2204 01:53:29,013 --> 01:53:30,063 Than here with you? 2205 01:53:31,483 --> 01:53:32,316 Never. 2206 01:53:48,352 --> 01:53:50,019 Why'd you do that? 2207 01:53:51,059 --> 01:53:54,288 Because I knew you wouldn't. 2208 01:53:54,290 --> 01:53:56,486 I imagine you want to get back at your father. 2209 01:53:58,423 --> 01:54:00,596 I would excel in that capacity. 2210 01:54:19,756 --> 01:54:23,089 (UPBEAT NEW WAVE MUSIC) 2211 01:54:25,822 --> 01:54:28,072 (KNOCKING) 2212 01:54:45,144 --> 01:54:46,641 Do you love me? 2213 01:54:46,643 --> 01:54:49,906 I know you'll say yes and I'll take you at your word but I... 2214 01:54:49,908 --> 01:54:51,816 With every beat of my wasted heart. 2215 01:54:53,215 --> 01:54:56,104 I see it now, it's true. 2216 01:54:56,106 --> 01:54:56,939 Yes. 2217 01:54:58,928 --> 01:55:03,230 ♪ Our bodies intertwined ♪ 2218 01:55:03,232 --> 01:55:05,925 ♪ You're doing that thing you do ♪ 2219 01:55:05,927 --> 01:55:09,769 ♪ Something's on your mind ♪ 2220 01:55:09,771 --> 01:55:12,975 ♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪ 2221 01:55:12,977 --> 01:55:16,410 ♪ A future that's unknown ♪ 2222 01:55:16,412 --> 01:55:19,922 ♪ But I traveled through both space and time ♪ 2223 01:55:19,924 --> 01:55:24,924 ♪ To make sure you will never be alone ♪ 2224 01:55:27,293 --> 01:55:32,293 ♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪ 2225 01:55:34,470 --> 01:55:39,470 ♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪ 2226 01:55:41,509 --> 01:55:46,509 ♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪ 2227 01:55:48,448 --> 01:55:53,427 ♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪ 2228 01:55:53,429 --> 01:55:55,736 ♪ We head into the night ♪ 2229 01:55:55,738 --> 01:55:59,887 ♪ And fade into the streets ♪ 2230 01:55:59,889 --> 01:56:02,785 ♪ As rain on the city falls ♪ 2231 01:56:02,787 --> 01:56:06,618 ♪ The taste is bitter sweet ♪ 2232 01:56:06,620 --> 01:56:09,863 ♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪ 2233 01:56:09,865 --> 01:56:13,320 ♪ A future far away ♪ 2234 01:56:13,322 --> 01:56:16,957 ♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪ 2235 01:56:16,959 --> 01:56:21,959 ♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪ 2236 01:56:24,083 --> 01:56:29,083 ♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪ 2237 01:56:31,297 --> 01:56:36,297 ♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪ 2238 01:56:38,376 --> 01:56:43,376 ♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪ 2239 01:56:45,666 --> 01:56:50,358 ♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪ 2240 01:56:50,360 --> 01:56:53,292 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2241 01:56:53,294 --> 01:56:57,548 ♪ Through complication ♪ 2242 01:56:57,550 --> 01:57:00,386 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2243 01:57:00,388 --> 01:57:04,672 ♪ Through the unknown ♪ 2244 01:57:04,674 --> 01:57:07,480 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2245 01:57:07,482 --> 01:57:11,026 ♪ Determination ♪ 2246 01:57:11,028 --> 01:57:14,407 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2247 01:57:14,409 --> 01:57:19,409 ♪ I'll make sure you'll never be alone ♪ 2248 01:57:21,141 --> 01:57:26,141 ♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪ 2249 01:57:28,235 --> 01:57:33,235 ♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪ 2250 01:57:35,449 --> 01:57:40,449 ♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪ 2251 01:57:42,497 --> 01:57:47,053 ♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪ 2252 01:57:47,055 --> 01:57:49,589 (GIGGLING) 2253 01:57:49,591 --> 01:57:54,585 ♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪ 2254 01:57:54,587 --> 01:57:56,804 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2255 01:57:56,806 --> 01:58:01,573 ♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪ 2256 01:58:01,575 --> 01:58:03,792 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2257 01:58:03,794 --> 01:58:07,950 ♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪ 2258 01:58:07,952 --> 01:58:10,953 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 2259 01:58:10,955 --> 01:58:15,955 ♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪ 2260 01:58:51,152 --> 01:58:54,484 (SOMBER NEW WAVE MUSIC) 2261 01:59:11,049 --> 01:59:13,716 I'm laughing already, I can't. 2262 01:59:14,957 --> 01:59:16,768 (LAUGHING) 2263 01:59:16,770 --> 01:59:18,377 Turn around, Mike! 2264 01:59:18,379 --> 01:59:20,293 (LAUGHING) 2265 01:59:20,295 --> 01:59:22,176 I think but I can see. 2266 01:59:22,178 --> 01:59:25,508 WOMAN: It looks like you're just crazy. 2267 01:59:25,510 --> 01:59:27,078 Sweet prince 2268 01:59:27,080 --> 01:59:28,438 and flights of angels. 2269 01:59:28,440 --> 01:59:30,690 (LAUGHING) 2270 01:59:31,730 --> 01:59:33,333 WOMAN: Welcome to Girl-Girl Scene. 2271 01:59:34,780 --> 01:59:36,906 I just want to make sure I'm holding it right. 2272 01:59:36,908 --> 01:59:39,158 (LAUGHING) 2273 01:59:41,035 --> 01:59:43,285 (COUGHING) 2274 01:59:44,150 --> 01:59:46,238 - You're up late. - Thanks. 2275 01:59:46,240 --> 01:59:48,288 TRISTA: My mom's freaking out about the body slam. 2276 01:59:48,290 --> 01:59:49,640 I know we're being careful. 2277 01:59:52,299 --> 01:59:55,937 ♪ There's one thing ♪ 2278 01:59:55,939 --> 02:00:00,292 ♪ That makes me come alive when you're by my side ♪ 2279 02:00:00,294 --> 02:00:01,127 Fuck! 2280 02:00:03,614 --> 02:00:08,614 ♪ Together with me ♪ 2281 02:00:09,821 --> 02:00:11,518 ♪ We don't sleep ♪ 2282 02:00:11,520 --> 02:00:13,408 ♪ I want you to smile ♪ 2283 02:00:13,410 --> 02:00:14,826 ♪ Shut out all the worries ♪ 2284 02:00:14,828 --> 02:00:17,060 ♪ Keep away for awhile ♪ 2285 02:00:17,062 --> 02:00:19,771 ♪ The look you have ♪ 2286 02:00:19,773 --> 02:00:22,194 As long as you literally don't see my ass. 2287 02:00:22,196 --> 02:00:23,143 My ass is out. 2288 02:00:26,858 --> 02:00:28,720 ♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪ 2289 02:00:28,722 --> 02:00:32,488 ♪ Take me back again to see the look at that crow ♪ 2290 02:00:32,490 --> 02:00:34,554 ♪ The power of love ♪ 2291 02:00:34,556 --> 02:00:36,000 ♪ Is the back on the screen ♪ 2292 02:00:36,002 --> 02:00:38,235 ♪ I will have ♪ 2293 02:00:38,237 --> 02:00:42,070 ♪ 85 again ♪ 2294 02:00:45,938 --> 02:00:46,769 (MAN LAUGHING) 2295 02:00:46,771 --> 02:00:47,602 EVAN: What? Let me see. 2296 02:00:47,604 --> 02:00:49,149 MAN: I was just filming Jerry. 2297 02:00:49,151 --> 02:00:51,401 (MUMBLING) 2298 02:00:52,994 --> 02:00:55,262 We got the tools and we got the knowhow. 2299 02:00:56,199 --> 02:00:58,247 MAN: Okay, what was the next scene? 2300 02:00:58,249 --> 02:00:59,457 BRIDGET: Bedroom. 2301 02:00:59,459 --> 02:01:00,290 Me waking up. 2302 02:01:00,292 --> 02:01:01,204 (LAUGHING) 2303 02:01:01,206 --> 02:01:02,657 RYAN: I got it too late. 2304 02:01:02,659 --> 02:01:05,099 Like I couldn't debut it earlier in a different scene 2305 02:01:05,101 --> 02:01:06,956 but now it's in the movie. 2306 02:01:08,996 --> 02:01:11,246 (LAUGHING) 2307 02:01:13,147 --> 02:01:16,314 (EXCITING BEAT MUSIC) 2308 02:01:42,032 --> 02:01:43,562 ♪ Play the movie ♪ 2309 02:01:43,564 --> 02:01:45,491 ♪ I want you to smile ♪ 2310 02:01:45,493 --> 02:01:49,258 ♪ Shut out all the worries, keep away for awhile. ♪ 2311 02:01:49,260 --> 02:01:51,085 ♪ The look you had ♪ 2312 02:01:51,087 --> 02:01:52,337 MAN: Action. 2313 02:01:58,609 --> 02:01:59,702 You're still here? 2314 02:02:01,799 --> 02:02:03,182 It's over. 2315 02:02:05,189 --> 02:02:06,022 Go home? 2316 02:02:12,539 --> 02:02:13,372 Shoo. 2317 02:02:13,374 --> 02:02:14,437 Subtitles by explosiveskull 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.moviesubtitles.org 155240