All language subtitles for Reno 911! - S02E14 - Junior Gets Married (1080p x265 EDGE2020)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:07,270 (Travis) 'Well, we're testing the new bulletproof vests they sent us.' 2 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:10,340 It's supposed to stand up to a .357 magnum, .50-caliber 3 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:14,280 so Officer Johnson's got a .357 magnum, .50-caliber. 4 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,640 Alright. Freeze, scumbag! 5 00:00:26,350 --> 00:00:27,920 - This can't be good, can it? - 'No.' 6 00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,090 That can't be good. 7 00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:31,930 - Whoop! - 'Come here.' 8 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,700 Oh. Uh. Ah! 9 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,140 Hey! Hey! Oh! 10 00:01:13,870 --> 00:01:15,900 (Dangle) 'Well, it has finally happened.' 11 00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:18,270 After dozens and dozens of complaints 12 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:20,780 from citizens and your fellow deputies 13 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,380 the Department of Internal Affairs 14 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,910 is sending a disciplinary auditor 15 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:26,450 to spend the next two weeks with us. 16 00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:29,250 He'll be with us on the job, in the cars, in the break room. 17 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,220 He'll be looking for incidents of racism 18 00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:34,720 sexual harassment, insensitivity to the differently abled. 19 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,330 Please, mind your P's and Q's 20 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:40,530 and obey the Sheriff's Department code of conduct. 21 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,760 'Please, people.' 22 00:01:41,830 --> 00:01:43,800 - Aah! - Oh, [bleep] 23 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:46,940 Nice one, Dangle. 24 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,940 Who did this? Come on. 25 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,870 'Who did-- Did you do that? Did you do that?' 26 00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:55,080 Hey! 27 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,680 Suspended. Suspended. Suspended. Suspended. 28 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:01,880 Suspended! 29 00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:12,890 (Dangle) 'Welcome back.' 30 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,130 How was palm springs? 31 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,760 Uh, not like it used to be. 32 00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:19,330 Oh, so, tonight, we're running that sting operation 33 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,140 cutting down on the, uh, illegal sex-slave trade. 34 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,140 'Do you know where she's coming in from? Do we know?' 35 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,770 'Did they give you any hints on the internet?' 36 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,680 - "Made in China," all it says. - 'Do you think?' 37 00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:31,680 Great. Dress warm if you're coming on the sex-slave sting. 38 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,250 'It's supposed to be a crisp night.' 39 00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:40,890 Looks perfectly plausible out there. 40 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,460 ♪ Mama I was gonna marry... ♪♪ 41 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,290 'Looks like a lonely fella' 42 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,290 'hankering for a mail-order bride.' 43 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,760 (Johnson) 'Check out this bio, here.' 44 00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:50,200 'It says he's an occasional drinker.' 45 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,070 She's actually gonna get her freedom back tonight. 46 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,340 Thanks to the Reno Sheriff's Department. So... 47 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,600 - 'Here we go.' - 'Ho! Ho! Ho! Bingo.' 48 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,340 - 'Relax it, here.' - 'Here she is. Oh--' 49 00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:00,110 (Junior) 'Oh, look at that thing.' 50 00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:04,180 'She's just a... scared little puppy.' 51 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,580 How you doing? How are you? 52 00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:14,060 Looks like he's signing some sort of bill of lading. 53 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,390 - 'Cashier's check.' - 'That's it!' 54 00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:18,060 - Sheriff's Department! - 'Sheriff's Department!' 55 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,630 - Freeze! - 'Freeze! Hey!' 56 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:21,430 Up against the vehicle. Right now. Right now-- 57 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,330 You have the right to remain silent! 58 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,430 You have a right to an attorney during questioning. 59 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,240 Do you understand, the rights is obvious. 60 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,340 Go home. 61 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,410 - 'Travis.' - 'Yes, sir?' 62 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,780 This is an actual marriage license here. 63 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,810 If that was notarized, you'd be married. 64 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,480 They are married, legally. 65 00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,180 - You're a notary? - Notary? 66 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,980 We're legally married? 67 00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:46,120 - Yep. - Congratulations. 68 00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:50,990 We're married. Me, you... married, married. 69 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,600 'No, no [bleep] we're married.' 70 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,970 No [bleep] no. 71 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,070 ...together. 72 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,310 Opa! 73 00:04:06,570 --> 00:04:07,510 'Okay.' 74 00:04:12,310 --> 00:04:15,020 (male#1) 'Well, sir, your friend says you shot him with an arrow.' 75 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,490 No, my friend opened a booby-trapped chest 76 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,590 that had a magic missile booby trap set by goblin sappers 77 00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:22,690 that is what hit him. 78 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,890 The booby trap which was you. 79 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,690 No, he was trying to show me 80 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,230 that he could duck out of the way 81 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,230 of an arrow-of an arrow 82 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:32,900 and I had to show him that a longbow at close range 83 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,370 with a magic missile, uh, enchantment on it. 84 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,770 There's no way to duck out of the way in. 85 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,610 So, you rolled an 18, and then what happened? 86 00:04:38,670 --> 00:04:41,040 I rolled an 18, he failed his saving throw 87 00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,140 and the arrow got him between where the greave-- 88 00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:45,610 Oh, where there's only the three points of protection. 89 00:04:46,610 --> 00:04:48,520 Travis...come on. 90 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,980 I got about ten points 91 00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:51,820 of "I want to beat you with a stick" left, okay. 92 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,120 I got about ten points of that. 93 00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:55,220 You don't know anything about Dungeons & Dragons. 94 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,460 I live in a world of cold steel 95 00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:00,230 and dungeons and mighty foes. 96 00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:02,130 I live in a world o-of dungeons, too. 97 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,300 The dungeon where we're taking you 98 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,730 is called the Reno County Jail. 99 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,330 How's that dungeon? You're gonna like that dungeon. 100 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,240 There's a dragon there named Nick, the grip 101 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:12,140 and he's been feeling people up in their sleep all week. So... 102 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:16,780 In our, um...no. No, no, no, no because-- 103 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:17,880 Sure you don't want to tell us 104 00:05:17,950 --> 00:05:20,010 why you shot the fellow with the arrow? 105 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,750 I'm wearing boots of escaping! I'm wearing boots... 106 00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:25,750 Ow! Ow! Ow! 107 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:29,220 I will call down a mighty reckoning on you! 108 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:32,160 I am a Demon God of Conquest. 109 00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:35,100 Well, I hope you got a magic potion for hot lead. 110 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:39,530 You're a very, very short Demon God of Conquest. 111 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,400 And you're exactly Nick, the grip's type. 112 00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:50,710 - Hey. - Oh, Lord. 113 00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:53,880 'Look at this guy. Oh, man.' 114 00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:56,720 What is it, 1,000 degrees today? Whoo. 115 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,790 - Wow. Yeah. - 'Man.' 116 00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:03,860 Hey, you dumb son of a bitch 117 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,430 fries come with that shake? 118 00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:09,730 Hey, my man, four years of college 119 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,900 and this is where you're at, huh? 120 00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,140 Screw you, you stupid [bleep]hole! 121 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:22,940 Hey! Hey, you son of a bitch! Hey, you come back here! 122 00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:24,550 - 'We got a runner.' - We got a runner. 123 00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,280 Hey, son of a bitch! 124 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,720 Being married is everything I thought it would be 125 00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:36,260 only maybe a little bit better. 126 00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:06,850 ...Reno, Nevada. 127 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,360 Hey! Reno, Nevada. 128 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,390 ♪ Let's go Reno Wo-wo-wo ♪♪ 129 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:13,690 Right. Hey, you're learning. You're learning. 130 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,760 'Like a little doll I won at the [bleep] carnival.' 131 00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:23,970 Focus on the Mythic Tarot 132 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,640 the cards will tell you what you want to know. 133 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,650 'And we've got the death card.' 134 00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:36,020 'Ending our reading with the death card.' 135 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:40,620 Yeah. That-that isn't a bad thing, necessarily, okay? 136 00:07:40,690 --> 00:07:42,220 'We'll do something else.' 137 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,230 Horoscope. W-when's your birthday? 138 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:47,500 When's your birthday? 139 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,360 - June 28th. - June 28th. 140 00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:53,330 Which is Cancer, Cancer, the crab. 141 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,040 Are you crabby 'cause you got cancer? 142 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:59,140 Who's crabby 'cause they've got cancer, huh? 143 00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:07,050 Alright. 144 00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:08,580 He's got an automatic shotgun. 145 00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:10,280 Scared the hell out of the poor bartender. 146 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:11,450 Up against the wall over there. 147 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,690 Okay, on my count. Ready? Three, two, go. 148 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,720 Drop your weapon! 149 00:08:20,390 --> 00:08:23,030 - What's the occasion? - 'Drop your weapon, sir!' 150 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,830 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 151 00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:27,200 I'll put it down. I'll put it down. 152 00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:28,270 (Dangle) 'Put the gun down, not the drink.' 153 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,770 I'll put the drink down. 154 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,470 (Wiegel) 'Put the gun down.' 155 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:33,510 Make up your mind! 156 00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:36,940 We did. You can pick the drink back up. Put the gun down. 157 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,310 - I'll put the drink back up. - 'Drink's okay.' 158 00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:41,050 Now, put the gun down. 159 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,990 I have a demand. I have a demand. 160 00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:45,690 (Wiegel) 'Okay. What are your demands?' 161 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,120 I want a girlfriend. 162 00:08:48,190 --> 00:08:49,620 (Wiegel) 'I'll be your girlfriend, sir.' 163 00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:51,030 Done. 164 00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:52,790 (male#2) 'Hell of a catch- hell of a catch, sir.' 165 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:56,300 And I want-I want lots of candy. 166 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,470 - 'I have tons of candy.' - Lots of candy. 167 00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:00,400 - We got some bar mints. - 'Bar mints.' 168 00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:03,170 - 'Bar mints.' - 'Bar mints.' 169 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,170 - 'They taste like mints.' - 'Gun down now.' 170 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,910 (Dangle) 'Alright, now, put the gun down.' 171 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:10,240 My gun for your gun. 172 00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,750 Alright. Alright. We'll make a swap. We'll make a swap. 173 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:15,550 - 'Fair, a gun swap is-is...' - 'Alright. Alright.' 174 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:18,750 Just be careful with it there. No, no, no. 175 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,020 Alright. There you go. There you go. 176 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,690 (Dangle) 'Now, put that gun down, okay?' 177 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,090 This is a toy. This ain't the real, uh... 178 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,790 (Dangle) 'Oh, [bleep].' 179 00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:28,460 - Down! Down! - 'Aah!' 180 00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:30,600 'Get out! [bleep]' 181 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:32,230 Oh, where's my drink? 182 00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:35,240 You took my drink! You took my drink! 183 00:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,240 (man on radio) 'Tower, this is SB-2.' 184 00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,610 'We've got a positive I.D. On that milk shake.' 185 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,950 'Garcia and jones are in pursuit.' 186 00:09:47,010 --> 00:09:49,650 - 'Hey, ho!' - 'Slow down!' 187 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:50,650 - No! - 'Freeze!' 188 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,650 - No! - 'Freeze!' 189 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,820 Oh, [bleep]. 190 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:55,520 - 'Oh, dear.' - Aah! 191 00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:57,190 - 'Oh, my God!' - Stop! 192 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,530 - No! Get up, sir! - 'Get up, sir! Run!' 193 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:02,400 Run! Oh, they're killing him in there. I got to call an EMT. 194 00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,030 - No. - I gotta call EMT. 195 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,030 Let's just let nature take its course. 196 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,840 Oh, man. Sweet Lord. 197 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,870 He's disfigured. He's got to be disfigured. 198 00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:11,870 Holy, me. Hey. 199 00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:13,840 Ho! Ho! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 200 00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:15,140 Hey, you, son of a bitch! 201 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:16,910 - Freeze! - Hey, freeze, sir! 202 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,120 Hey! 203 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:29,590 - Hey! - Congratulations. 204 00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:30,830 Can I shove this down here, maybe? 205 00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:33,860 Mm-hmm. Ouch. Ouch. 206 00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:38,170 Parking brake! Parking brake! 207 00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,530 (Dangle) 'I got it. I got it. I got it.' 208 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,940 We're in park, and we're good. 209 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,870 - 'Hey. Does she know karate?' - Does she know? 210 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:45,640 Oh, hell, yeah, she does. Watch this. 211 00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,510 (Wiegel) 'Break the table with your face.' 212 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,180 A little kiss for the bride... 213 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,240 - 'Oh!' - 'Oh!' 214 00:10:53,550 --> 00:10:54,920 [laughs] Yeah! 215 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,380 - 'Yeah.' - 'Whoo!' 216 00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:58,890 - Yeah. It's pretty good, right? - Yeah. 217 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,790 Alright, I'm-I'm gonna sit down, alright? 218 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,290 - 'How about presents--' - 'Why don't we do?' 219 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,230 - 'That's a good idea.' - Do some presents. 220 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:08,730 I got you something, the two lovebirds. 221 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,630 - From them. Oh. - 'Oh.' 222 00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:15,100 (Wiegel) 'I made it. I made that.' 223 00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:19,970 It's the-- The macaroni's still wet there. 224 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,340 You cooked this macaroni? 225 00:11:21,410 --> 00:11:23,640 Yeah, well, you can't have it raw. 226 00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:26,010 - It'll kill you. - 'Alright, another gift.' 227 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,980 - 'Let's keep the party moving.' - 'Whoo!' 228 00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:31,690 Huh? A nail kit, huh? 229 00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:35,120 So when everybody leaves, you can hook me up and do my nails. 230 00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:37,020 You're Chinese. 231 00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:39,460 - 'Yeah, y'all do nails.' - Yeah. 232 00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:41,330 They make these in Korea... 233 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,370 'Don't throw it.' 234 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,510 It sounds, when they talk, it sounds like they're mad, like... 235 00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:57,980 (Travis) 'She knows English, too.' 236 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,650 'She's smart as a whip, right?' 237 00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:02,450 What's your pet name for me in English? 238 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,520 [bleep]sucker. 239 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,650 [bleep]sucker. Yeah. 240 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,260 'That's a good- good thing to learn.' 241 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,060 'It's d-different there.' 242 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,690 Cocks are like, they're like 243 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,130 two below monkey on the magic scale. 244 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,800 - Dragon, dog, monkey, cock. - Yeah. 245 00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:21,370 (Wiegel) 'And the king is the man who sucks the [bleep].' 246 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:26,310 So the [bleep]sucker is like the king of all [bleep]suckers. 247 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,740 Yeah, I think. 248 00:12:27,810 --> 00:12:29,310 - 'Well, that's you, Junior.' - 'Right.' 249 00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,210 - 'Yeah.' - You are [bleep]. 250 00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,180 Son of a bitch! 251 00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,590 Whoa! Oh, okay, Carl Lewis! 252 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:42,920 - Freeze! - Okay. 253 00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:45,160 Oh, you want to go, huh? 254 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,760 - Oh! Freeze! - Ah! [bleep]. 255 00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:49,460 - 'Son of a bitch!' - 'No!' 256 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:52,370 Hey, freeze! No, no! 257 00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:55,270 Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch. 258 00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:57,340 Hey, hey! Hey! 259 00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,140 Who is this guy? 260 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,610 - Unh! - What-what the [bleep]. 261 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:08,020 Holy [bleep]. Holy [bleep] 262 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,920 'Hey, hey! hey!' 263 00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,790 Oh, you think you're cool, huh? 264 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,820 Let's go! Come on! 265 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,160 - Freeze! - Where are you at? 266 00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:26,770 How you doing today, sir? 267 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,740 Hey, th-thank God you're here. 268 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:29,940 Thank the good Lord, you came. 269 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,410 One of my fal- my prize falcon flew away. 270 00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:34,780 I can't find him. And maybe-- Had you found him? 271 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,610 Did you find the falcon? 272 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:39,210 Hm. Well, not yet. 273 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,850 As you know, the falcon is like, uh-- 274 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,350 They're like a flying dog. 275 00:13:43,420 --> 00:13:45,090 Oh, wait. Let me just ask you a question. 276 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:47,190 The falcon leaves here 277 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:50,790 it goes and fetches and then brings something 278 00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:52,130 whatever it fetches back? 279 00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:54,230 Back-back here, back to the pad. 280 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,160 Okay, has he brought an eyeball back to the pad? 281 00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:58,900 A what? An eyeball? 282 00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:02,570 - No? - I don't think so. 283 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,640 You know, it's just that we have a homeless person 284 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:08,010 in ICU right now, missing an eyeball. 285 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,180 What makes you think a falcon did it? 286 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,110 Uh, 'cause he screamed, "a falcon took my eyeball! 287 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,520 A falcon took my eyeball!" 288 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:17,380 Do you know, what he needs to do is to talk to me 289 00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:20,420 and I can have him go through falcon trauma. 290 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:22,560 Uh, you know, of people who go through 291 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,160 trauma caused by falcons. 292 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,190 He probably is in a state of mind 293 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:28,100 that's not conducive to health. 294 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,400 Well, I would say so. He don't have an eyeball. 295 00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:33,800 How about we finish talking to you down at the station? 296 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:37,170 Okay, so, do I have my choice of seats or what? 297 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,370 - The back. - There's one choice. 298 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:39,370 Only in the back. 299 00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:49,180 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay 300 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,150 - 'Come on.' - I give up. 301 00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:53,790 - 'Alright.' - Please. 302 00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,690 (Jones) 'You give? [bleep]' 303 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,690 - Alright, truce. Truce. - 'Truce, man.' 304 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,660 - 'Thank you.' - Thank God. 305 00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:04,230 Whoa! [bleep] man, you're [bleep] taking a pounding. 306 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,930 Those thing's like a huge shock absorber. 307 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,840 I don't feel a thing. Absolutely nothing, yeah. 308 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:11,040 - You don't feel that? - 'No, nothing.' 309 00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,370 I mean, hit me, hit me like I just 310 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,670 you know, insulted your mother or something. 311 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,240 - Like, really hit me. - I'm really gonna hit you. 312 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:16,980 Yeah! Yeah, go for it. 313 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,050 Yeah! I-I didn't feel any of that. 314 00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:21,520 Nothing. I don't feel any of that. 315 00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,450 - Yeah! - Yeah! 316 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,490 No, I didn't feel any of that. 317 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,030 - 'Oh, man.' - That's cool. 318 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:32,890 - 'Yeah, that's cool.' - That was awesome, man. 319 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,630 - You need a ride? - Oh, no, no. 320 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,530 You know, I just live right behind me. 321 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,470 - You live right over here? - Yeah. Right over there. 322 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:41,200 Alright. Alright, little buddy. 323 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:42,600 - Well, take care, buddy. - Alright. 324 00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:45,270 Hey, be good, alright? Oh! 325 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,210 [laughing] Alright. 326 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,840 Hey, guys. Hey, I think I might need that lift home. 327 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:52,550 I think I pulled my hamstring. 328 00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:55,050 You need a ride? You want a-- 329 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,680 'Oh, my God!' 330 00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:58,020 Oh, [bleep] Holy Lord! 331 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,820 [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] 332 00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:02,690 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 333 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:03,960 [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] 334 00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:05,190 - Go, go, go! - Go, go! 335 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,860 I just look forward to my retirement years 336 00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:13,970 here at the Old Homestead and a bunch of little, uh 337 00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:16,400 little babies crawling around 338 00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:19,710 and learning to eat barbecue with chopsticks. 339 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,440 And it'll just be like home on the range. 340 00:16:22,510 --> 00:16:26,180 And I'll be on little Qua Junior here like white on rice. 341 00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:49,440 ♪ Caribbean Queen ♪ 342 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:53,570 ♪ Now we're sharing the same dream ♪ 343 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:57,410 ♪ Two hearts will beat as one ♪ 344 00:16:58,910 --> 00:17:02,150 ♪ No more love on the run ♪♪ 345 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,620 I got nothing. How about you? 346 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,150 (man on radio) 'Yeah, we got an APB' 347 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:08,860 'for a '72 Ford Wintergreen Winnebago Coachman' 348 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:13,960 'license Nevada-Bravo- 4738-Victory-Bravo-Charlie.' 349 00:17:14,030 --> 00:17:15,700 Oh, [bleep] that's me. 350 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,400 Oh, [bleep]. 351 00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:18,770 Go, go, go! 352 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,300 (man on radio) 'Officers, proceed with caution.' 353 00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:22,200 'There is one angry tiny Asian ' 354 00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:24,070 'behind the wheel of that coachman.' 355 00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,810 M-maybe-- She's not angry. That's just the way they talk. 356 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:28,540 'That's just the way the voice sounds.' 357 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,950 - No. Yep, there she is. - 'Yeah.' 358 00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,250 (Travis) 'Home, sweet home.' 359 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,820 Wintergreen Winnebago coachman, we're in pursuit. 360 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,890 'Oh, look at that. Nice piece of denim.' 361 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,930 (Travis) 'Don't do that. Those-those are my new--' 362 00:17:45,990 --> 00:17:47,730 (Dangle) 'That's a really nice boot back there.' 363 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,400 Oh, man. I still got the other one. 364 00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:53,800 Oh, baby. Now, come on, baby. Let's talk it out. 365 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,940 [bleep]sucker! 366 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,910 (Travis) 'Oh, there goes the porn. There goes the porn.' 367 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,240 - God. Baby-- - 'That's all porno?' 368 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,840 Yeah, some of that was my dad's. That stuff's irreplaceable. 369 00:18:02,910 --> 00:18:06,010 [bleep] Pull over. I'm gonna take care of business. 370 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,880 (Dangle) 'Oh, [bleep] be careful!' 371 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,420 He's going into a skylight. 372 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:13,890 Go around! 373 00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,820 (Dangle) 'I don't know if your homeowner's insurance' 374 00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:18,660 'covers you for this!' 375 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:20,430 He's in. He's in. He's in. He's in. 376 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:22,530 He's in. Okay. We're good. This will be good. 377 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,470 'You know, they're both reasonable people.' 378 00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:26,570 Aah! 379 00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:32,770 I'm backing up. I'm backing up. I'm backing up. 380 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,880 [bleep] Travis! Travis! 381 00:18:38,350 --> 00:18:40,280 Oh, Travis! 382 00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:42,680 Are you alive? [bleep] 383 00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,590 Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. 384 00:18:44,650 --> 00:18:49,190 If you love something...you just got to let it go sometimes. 385 00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,260 Yeah. 386 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,990 - You love that Winnebago. - Yeah. 387 00:18:54,060 --> 00:18:57,330 Tell you, you could pull yourself up by your bootstraps 388 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,870 and...you and me could go 389 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:05,710 and...get some jeans and porno off of this road here. 390 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,070 What do you say, huh? 391 00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,410 Sounds good. 392 00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,080 Alright. 393 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:15,980 (Wiegel) 'So, I never saw that special.' 394 00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:19,150 'Did Geraldo find the guy in the tomb, or didn't he?' 395 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:20,120 No. 396 00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:23,690 Hey, Junior, what is that, a letter from Qua? 397 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,460 What does it say? 398 00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:29,060 How the [bleep] should I know? 399 00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:31,930 You should probably take this 400 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,870 to that Restaurant Wok Around The Clock. 401 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,700 Somebody there could read that. 402 00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:39,870 No, I-I don't want to be eating any Chinese anytime soon. 403 00:19:39,940 --> 00:19:43,240 Hey, Junior, hey, now, Pirnt was a good woman. 404 00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:45,010 (all) Qua. 405 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,510 And she was not a good woman. 406 00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:48,720 She was a horrible woman. 407 00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:50,950 Life goes on. Check-check. 408 00:19:51,020 --> 00:19:52,020 'Greener pastures.' 409 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:54,920 Guys, guys. TV, you guys, TV. 410 00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:57,190 (woman on TV) Devastation the community is feeling. 411 00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:58,660 A candlelight vigil is being held 412 00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:00,890 for 31-year-old Andy Freeman 413 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,300 an aspiring magician who took a part-time job to pay rent 414 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,230 dressing as a delicious milk shake. 415 00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:09,100 A delicious, now dead, milk shake. 416 00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,540 Horrifying allegations have shocked Washoe County 417 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,770 today after the following homemade video footage 418 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,040 was released to the media. 419 00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:18,780 This video contains acts of terrifying police brutality. 420 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,120 - 'Oh!' - Oh! 421 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:33,130 (woman on TV) 'The identity of the deputies' 422 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,530 'responsible for these acts is still unknown.' 423 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,700 There is no doubt that those responsible 424 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,700 will have to pay for their acts. 425 00:20:39,770 --> 00:20:41,170 'Reporting from Route 395' 426 00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:44,370 'This is Maria Storm, Channel 10 "News at 10:00."' 427 00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:05,490 and Wa Shing Qua Junior 428 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:06,630 that you all made it down. 429 00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:08,860 'Thank you. I very-- Very appreciate it.' 430 00:21:08,930 --> 00:21:10,860 Can you say your name again for us? 431 00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,000 You're nine? 30054

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