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1
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:07,470
Come on, people.
2
00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:10,510
Let's go,
Presidente Whoever-you-are.
3
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:11,710
[bleep]. Damn it.
4
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:14,710
- I can't hold it.
- I can't hold it, either.
5
00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:17,080
[bleep]. Oh, [bleep].
6
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:20,080
One, two, three, four, five
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
7
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,520
- [bleep] it.
- Okay. Forget it.
8
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,550
[bleep]
I gotta go. I gotta go.
9
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:25,590
Oh, oh!
10
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,820
Oh, [bleep].
11
00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:31,060
Oh! Ah, that's good.
12
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,530
Oh, son of a...
13
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,530
Son of a bitch!
14
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,300
[bleep]
Son of a bitch!
15
00:00:38,370 --> 00:00:39,430
- Hey!
- Oh!
16
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:40,900
[bleep], man!
17
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:45,670
(male #1)
Come here!
18
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,680
Oh! Ah!
19
00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:54,650
Oh-ah! Oh!
20
00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:30,420
(Dangle)
'Anybody see "The Office"
last night?'
21
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,720
What's that?
22
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:33,490
(Wiegel)
'They talk like...'
23
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,390
"Hello, my name is Samuel."
24
00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:38,690
I don't know
their names on it
25
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,100
but they talk funny,
and they work in an office.
26
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,960
- They're really funny.
- It's very good.
27
00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:47,370
'Uh, and I guess
that's about it'
28
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,700
'unless, uh...'
29
00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:53,370
Anybody else has anything
they want to add...
30
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,310
'...of interest?'
31
00:01:57,380 --> 00:01:59,580
Why are you wearing
that thing on your head?
32
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:09,220
This "thing" on my head
is called a burka
33
00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:11,790
and I am exercising
34
00:02:11,860 --> 00:02:14,960
my religious freedom, alright?
35
00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:17,800
I stand before you,
Raineesha X
36
00:02:17,870 --> 00:02:19,830
all praise is due to Allah.
37
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:25,510
It's from the
homeland-security training.
38
00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:27,410
(Junior)
I'm sorry. I thought
she was gonna--
39
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,680
- No, no. She don't have a bomb.
- Good instinct.
40
00:02:29,740 --> 00:02:30,780
No, no, she didn't have a...
41
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,150
Things have changed
for me, because, see
42
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:38,320
my eyes were opened
to the truth.
43
00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:42,790
The truth that the white man
is the devil, huh?
44
00:02:43,990 --> 00:02:46,330
'In the Koran...'
45
00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:49,060
Okay, I'm not sure
everything it says
46
00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:51,300
'cause I just got it.
47
00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:54,570
But I know that it talks
about y'all being the devil.
48
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:59,740
Thanks to the nation
of Islam, I'm free.
49
00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:02,210
Is this gonna be a problem
doing your job
50
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,980
now that you're
nation of Muslim?
51
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:06,250
Don't be aggressive
with me, okay?
52
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:07,250
I wasn't being aggressive.
53
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,650
Don't hate me,
'cause I found the truth
54
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,020
and now that my eyes are open,
hah, you can't have me
55
00:03:13,090 --> 00:03:14,620
'cause, see, I was had.
56
00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:15,760
I was took.
57
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,290
I been hoodwinked,
bamboozled.
58
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,500
Y'all have run amok.
59
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,800
- Hornswoggled.
- Thank you, brother.
60
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,830
- And fandangled.
- Thank you.
61
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,000
[bleep] boozled.
62
00:03:27,570 --> 00:03:28,740
No.
63
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,840
Well, I support you, sister.
64
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:33,410
I'm not your sister,
cracker jack.
65
00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:34,580
Whatever.
66
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,310
So, are you quitting
because we're the devil?
67
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:40,150
You can't run me
out of here!
68
00:03:40,210 --> 00:03:42,550
'I'm gonna do
what I got to do!'
69
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:44,250
Deal with it, crackers!
70
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,960
There's a new sheriff in town.
Hah!
71
00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:49,060
Asalaam alaikum.
72
00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:53,190
It's alaikum salaam,
brother.
73
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,970
Okay. Where was I?
74
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,710
Ho, ho, ho!
75
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:10,580
Hey, hey.
76
00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:11,980
Afro-man, here we go.
77
00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:14,520
'Hey, hey!'
78
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:18,020
'People! People!'
79
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,390
Make some noise for J-Lo!
80
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,990
Wait a minute, we got some
new contestants, here we go.
81
00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:25,360
Here's gay cop...
82
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:28,030
'Gay cop! Gay cop!'
83
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,030
(all)
Gay cop! Gay cop! Gay cop!
84
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,200
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
85
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,800
Hold on.
86
00:04:32,870 --> 00:04:34,740
'Slut cop, ladies and gentlemen.
Slut cop!'
87
00:04:36,570 --> 00:04:38,840
(all)
Slut! Slut! Slut!
Slut! Slut! Slut!
88
00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:40,580
[whistles]
People!
89
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,650
Alright, you crazy drunks,
this is for the $500 prize.
90
00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:44,710
I'm in. I'm in.
91
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:47,450
- $500 cash?
- '$500 cash, big man.'
92
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,320
Here we go.
Who's gonna get it?
93
00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:52,690
Gay cop, show them what
you got, baby. 500 big ones.
94
00:04:55,160 --> 00:05:00,360
(all)
Gay cop! Gay cop! Gay cop!
Gay cop! Gay cop! Gay cop!
95
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,700
Gay cop! Gay cop!
Gay cop! Gay cop!
96
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,130
(male #2)
'That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.'
97
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,870
Let's give it up for
the crowd favorite, slut cop.
98
00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:12,070
(all)
Slut cop! Slut! Slut!
Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!
99
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:15,180
Slut! Slut! Slut!
Slut! Slut! Slut!
100
00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,790
'Party's over!
Gay cop says party's over.'
101
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:34,330
To me, it doesn't make sense
102
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,660
that you gotta pray
facing a certain way.
103
00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,370
If God's everywhere,
shouldn't you be able to
104
00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:42,200
you know, face any
which way when you pray?
105
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:44,570
Like, is his receiver
somewhere in the Middle East
106
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,580
and he's listening to
the receiver or something?
107
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,480
Yeah, that's like,
I have a plan with God
108
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:51,950
but it's like
a bad cell plan.
109
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:54,580
Doesn't work
in certain areas.
110
00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:57,120
- Five calls a day.
- 'That's right.'
111
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,950
Anytime, see, I got anytime
minutes with my God.
112
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:02,160
- Hallelujah.
- 24-7.
113
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,310
- All praise is due to Allah.
- 'Yeah.'
114
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:19,410
'Morning to you.'
115
00:06:19,470 --> 00:06:21,110
Just in time for lunch.
116
00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:24,180
You got that rug
at the swap meet
117
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,510
and I know it glows in the dark.
118
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,680
(Clementine)
'I'm gonna go get some bacon.'
119
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,590
I don't hear the devil
when the devil speaks.
120
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:31,750
- Wow.
- What?
121
00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:33,890
You are hot.
122
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,560
[laughs]
Look at this, this is
really working for you
123
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,360
and it's working
on me, huh?
124
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:42,300
Thank you. I mean, that wasn't
what it was all about.
125
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,500
- But thanks.
- I know.
126
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,370
But, what say you and me,
squad car, now?
127
00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:47,500
Let's go, huh?
128
00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:49,600
Oh, no,
I can't do that anymore.
129
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,840
I am a forbidden fruit.
130
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,610
Yeah, but I'm hungry,
so let's eat. Let's go.
131
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,880
No, no, no.
132
00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:58,310
I-I will let you
take me on a proper date.
133
00:06:58,380 --> 00:06:59,410
- Proper date?
- Yeah.
134
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,850
Alright, whatever it takes.
135
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,620
- Pick me up tomorrow.
- Okay.
136
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,890
You and me, proper date. Boom.
137
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,400
Oh, man.
This is too easy.
138
00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:19,400
- Let's get him.
- Hey, here we go. Come on.
139
00:07:19,470 --> 00:07:22,800
There you go. Another student
driver, here we go.
140
00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:25,010
It's like shooting fish
in a barrel.
141
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,210
- Hey.
- Hey, turn off your engine.
142
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,380
Let me see your driver's license
and registration.
143
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,810
I-I don't have
a driver's license.
144
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,480
(Garcia)
'You're driving
without a license, sir?'
145
00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:35,250
Well, I'm training to get...
146
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,190
(Jones)
'You don't have
a driver's license?'
147
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,220
Well, I have three more hours
on my driver's training.
148
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:41,020
Yeah, step out of the car.
149
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:43,360
Follow my hand, sir,
follow it.
150
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:44,990
- Are you following his hand?
- Close your eyes.
151
00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:47,060
Tip your head back.
Tip your head back.
152
00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,830
I took some cough medicine,
but I didn't think--
153
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:50,600
- You took what?
- What'd you take?
154
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,100
It was homeopathic,
there was no--
155
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,170
Why, why?
156
00:07:53,230 --> 00:07:55,170
Why are you taking
homo cough medicine?
157
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,270
Shut up and walk towards me.
158
00:07:58,340 --> 00:07:59,970
Okay, that's good enough.
You're in a lot of trouble.
159
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,610
Do you know what
you were doing here today?
160
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,740
You realize what
you could've been doing?
161
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,950
Look at my partner
when he's talking to you.
162
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:08,020
No, look at him.
I'm gonna talk to you.
163
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,380
Listen to him.
Look at me and listen to him.
164
00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:12,250
Look at him while
I'm talking to you, okay?
165
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,620
Step over here, sir.
166
00:08:13,690 --> 00:08:15,420
Step over here so we can
talk about you.
167
00:08:15,490 --> 00:08:16,690
We should just take him to jail.
168
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,160
No, I'm gonna take him in.
169
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:19,160
Okay!
170
00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:20,260
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
171
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:23,200
You're not stopping me
from getting my license!
172
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:24,270
Listen, sir.
173
00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:26,070
No, no,
you listen to me!
174
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,140
Yeah, look at me
and listen to me, right?
175
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,770
Look over there and listen
to that, how's that feel?
176
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,940
Okay, turn around
and listen, right?
177
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:35,480
I want you in first,
and I want you facing away
178
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,180
and I want you in second.
179
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,810
I don't want to hurt you guys.
I just want to make fun of you.
180
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,120
Oh, my God.
181
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,620
(Garcia)
'We're trapped
inside our car.'
182
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,750
'Residential street,
Murphy, three and half miles--'
183
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:46,050
Shut up!
I can hear you talking!
184
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,560
- 'Okay, okay!'
- 'I can't breathe.'
185
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,660
'Come on, now. [bleep]'
186
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:53,260
Sorry!
187
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:55,260
'We-we-we...'
188
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:03,670
Islam's for, I mean,
I don't want to be racist
189
00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:06,270
but it seems like
Islam's for black people.
190
00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:07,340
Oh, yeah.
191
00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:08,910
Oh, yeah. Well, there's two
kinds of Islam.
192
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:10,480
And I don't mean
that in a nice way.
193
00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:11,950
No, there's two kinds of Islam
194
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:15,120
there's the browny version
and the black version.
195
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,680
The thing is with Islam
196
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:21,860
it's a religion that involves
a sort of costume outfit
197
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,130
and you're not gonna get
a lot of white people
198
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:25,930
to join a religion
that involves a costume.
199
00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:27,700
No, I don't like
wearing this every day.
200
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:32,800
We had a rather
major bust this morning.
201
00:09:32,870 --> 00:09:36,600
A couple of Croatians were
making counterfeit $5 bills
202
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:39,570
out here in this
little workshop.
203
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,640
We have to count all of it
before we hand it over
204
00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,110
to the secret service,
who handle it from there.
205
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:48,450
Okay, I'm at $16,300 right here.
206
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,320
$16,305. $16,310.
207
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:54,020
Yeah, Jim and I have been
doing this for like
208
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:56,260
six hours or seven hours.
209
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,630
It feels like ten hours
210
00:09:57,690 --> 00:10:00,130
'cause when you're sitting
in a hot room like this
211
00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:01,830
it feels like...
212
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:06,900
You know, just one hour can feel
like five hours or ten hours.
213
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:08,770
I mean, it's only been,
realistically--
214
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,710
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
- 'What?'
215
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,310
Where was I?
216
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:15,480
Where was I what?
217
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,410
$16,340, $16,345.
218
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,380
'Jim, listen. It sounds
like my chair's farting.'
219
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:23,950
$16,350, $16,355.
220
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,750
Phew.
221
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,390
- Sixty, $16,365...
- Phew.
222
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:31,430
Oh, I shouldn't have had
that burrito at lunch, Jim.
223
00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:34,230
Oh, [bleep] it!
[bleep]. Damn it!
224
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,110
Hey. Look real good.
225
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,980
You look great.
226
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,080
Thank you.
227
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,750
I mean, you really look...
228
00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:57,450
I mean, when you said
you were down for anything
229
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,420
I didn't know you were,
you know.
230
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,660
We're gonna date, we're gonna
date right, right?
231
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,690
I went the internet
and I saw how they looked
232
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,230
and so I said,
"Hey, I'm gonna try it out."
233
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:12,500
- I like it.
- 'I like this.'
234
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:13,630
You look real nice.
235
00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,640
Look at this, looks good.
236
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,510
Okay, but don't
touch me, though.
237
00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:19,840
- Huh?
- You can't do that.
238
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:21,110
Hmm.
239
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,780
The nation is calling.
240
00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:30,480
Hello.
241
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:32,350
How you doing, sister?
242
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:36,320
'We just wanted to pass out
some information on the nation.'
243
00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:39,260
Alright, on the white devils.
244
00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:41,130
And what they're trying to do
245
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,460
to the black man
here in America.
246
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:44,800
(Jones)
'You look a little mixed'
247
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,930
'like you got some kind of
something in your family'
248
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,670
like a little, you know,
some negroid or something.
249
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,240
'Mm-hmm. Embrace it.'
250
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:55,280
Crucify the whiteness.
251
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,910
Embrace...
252
00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:58,780
- Your negroidness.
- There you go.
253
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:01,020
Yeah, 'cause the white devil
254
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:05,120
is infiltrating
your neighborhood.
255
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:07,020
Alright?
But the nation is here.
256
00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:08,120
Have no fear.
257
00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:09,820
The nation is here.
258
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:11,130
[laughs]
Yeah.
259
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:12,830
We gonna leave you that.
260
00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,400
'Thing long, you think wrong.'
261
00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:17,400
- Hah!
- Hey.
262
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,470
- See, you gotta call them out.
- You got to call them out.
263
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,070
Yeah, you just tell the truth.
264
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,140
- Okay, you tell what you know.
- Uh-huh.
265
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,270
That they are evil,
that white people are the devil.
266
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,380
Alright, they're straight
from the pit of hell.
267
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,340
And you just have
to call that stuff out.
268
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,250
And if they can't handle it,
that ain't your problem.
269
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,010
'Cause, see, you got
the truth on your, hey!
270
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,050
- Huh?
- No. no, no.
271
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:49,300
I don't even balance
my own checkbook at home.
272
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:50,760
I don't know
why we're bothering.
273
00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,700
'Twenty, twenty five, thirty.'
274
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:54,940
Do you know how much money
I have in my account at home?
275
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,200
Forty five, fifty, fifty five.
276
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:58,370
Forty two dollars.
277
00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,840
Sixty five, seventy.
278
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:02,240
But they don't let you
take out just $42.
279
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:04,750
You have to take out, like, $40.
280
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:06,450
But then you're left with $2
281
00:13:06,510 --> 00:13:08,120
and then they don't
let you take $2 out.
282
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:09,820
You have to take,
go to the guy and go
283
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,450
"Please, sir, could I please?
284
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,720
There's $2 in my bank account,
and it's my $2."
285
00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:16,490
Why don't you go
get some air for a second?
286
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,460
- Okay.
- How's that?
287
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,290
Would you like anything?
288
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,160
- I'm good.
- Okay.
289
00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:25,600
You sure don't want anything?
I could go to 7-eleven.
290
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:26,870
'Okay.'
291
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:36,040
I think this whole Islamic
religion, voodoo, hojo
292
00:13:36,110 --> 00:13:40,450
uh, weird crap is poisoning
the minds of all our foreigners
293
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:42,520
and dark-colored people
in this country.
294
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,790
And if they just
learn to be a regular
295
00:13:44,850 --> 00:13:46,950
white, Christian,
upstanding citizens.
296
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:49,090
'No, you can't
learn to be white.'
297
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,790
- Why, you can--
- You can't learn to be white.
298
00:13:50,860 --> 00:13:53,690
You can act a certain way that
this country was founded on.
299
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,300
Instead of throwing down carpets
300
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,500
on any empty space you see
301
00:13:58,570 --> 00:14:01,000
and refusing to eat pork.
302
00:14:01,070 --> 00:14:04,910
Okay, be nice, because
there's two kinds of Muslims.
303
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,110
There's nation of Islam,
black guys
304
00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:11,150
and regular Muslims,
and there's a difference.
305
00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:15,020
The nation of Islam Muslims want
to kill all the white people.
306
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,350
And the other Muslims
want to kill everyone else.
307
00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,150
- No, no.
- Right.
308
00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:22,820
Sir! Hey! Hey, man!
309
00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:25,530
(Williams)
'Can we holler
at you for a second?'
310
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:26,860
Alright?
311
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:31,530
Listen, buddy,
the nation is here, alright?
312
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,100
So better stay clear.
313
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,540
We're here.
314
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:40,980
And we're here
to tell you that...
315
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,610
We're calling you out, sir.
316
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,250
You have wronged
our people.
317
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:47,050
Your people have wronged
our people, alright?
318
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,650
We have been hoodwinked
319
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,880
bamboozled and run amok.
320
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:51,920
What?
321
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:54,620
'Do you know
any black people?'
322
00:14:54,690 --> 00:14:57,420
[chuckles]
No, you don't.
323
00:14:57,490 --> 00:14:58,460
He don't know black people.
324
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:00,290
Walk in the truth, sir.
325
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,860
Walk in the truth.
That's all we trying to do.
326
00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:05,770
'Also, we were
taking donations.'
327
00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:09,700
Donations for reparations,
my white brother.
328
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:16,480
Why, you put a little
anger in this time.
329
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,050
See, that took it over.
I liked it.
330
00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:19,580
'Well, I put a little bass
in my throat.'
331
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:22,550
Right. The anger worked well.
I liked that.
332
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:27,660
You were like, "Sir, sir!"
I was...
333
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,120
Yeah.
334
00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:32,330
Uh...
335
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,360
Jehovah l-loves you.
336
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:36,660
Jehovah loves you.
337
00:15:36,730 --> 00:15:37,670
Oh, God!
338
00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:40,500
Get 'em, Jonesy! Get 'em!
339
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,440
[instrumental music]
340
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:46,570
Oh, God, I'm so hot.
341
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:50,010
Oh.
342
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,010
Does that feel good?
343
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,950
- Yeah, it feels good.
- Yeah?
344
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,880
- Yeah, you blowing on me?
- Yeah.
345
00:15:54,950 --> 00:15:57,250
Whoo! Whoo!
346
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,450
Oh, God, that feels,
feels terrific.
347
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,520
Yeah?
348
00:16:00,590 --> 00:16:01,490
Let me blow on you.
349
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,160
Oh, thank you.
350
00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:06,390
Oh, oh. That feels good.
351
00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:08,530
Ooh, ooh.
352
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,200
Oh, that feels good.
353
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,940
- Do me again.
- Oh, do you.
354
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,400
- You do me.
- I'll do you.
355
00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:17,500
Oh.
356
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,720
Alright.
357
00:16:36,790 --> 00:16:37,760
What's going on, sir?
358
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,760
Inside, come on.
359
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,060
- Are there weapons, sir?
- No.
360
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:44,770
You want some stick time?
361
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:46,930
(female #1)
'No, leave her alone!'
362
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,100
'Leave her alone!'
363
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,170
Oh, look out!
364
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,140
Look out!
365
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:52,370
I got her this way!
366
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:58,880
Get 'em, girl.
Get 'em, girl! Get 'em.
367
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:00,310
T.T.!
368
00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:02,020
(Garcia)
'Can anybody tell me
what's going on here?'
369
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,750
(female #1)
'She told us that she had
fallen in love.'
370
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:07,590
We put this whole
wedding together.
371
00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:08,620
Calm down.
372
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:12,860
Everybody!
373
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,700
I got an announcement.
374
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,260
The groom is him.
375
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:19,370
Let the party begin.
Y'all come on.
376
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,440
(Garcia)
'Yeah, the groom is here, T.T.'
377
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,870
Hey, padre,
get over there and marry them.
378
00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:23,870
Just say, "I do."
379
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:25,970
Okay, no,
that's not gonna happen.
380
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,010
No, gimme that stick back.
381
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,340
You give me that, ho, ho!
382
00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:33,780
No. Hey, hey, hey.
Ho, ho, ho.
383
00:17:33,850 --> 00:17:34,780
Okay.
384
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,220
Get him off!
385
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:42,220
No, no, no!
386
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,060
Stop it!
387
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,730
We are all going to jail.
388
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:49,630
- Quit it!
- 'We are all going to jail.'
389
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,900
(Garcia)
'Alright.'
390
00:17:55,470 --> 00:17:57,200
I don't know about
this whole Williams business
391
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:59,970
of wearing a [bleep]
beekeeper's uniform
392
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,280
and claiming to pray to
some guy named "Mahalo"
393
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:04,850
or whatever it is.
394
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:08,620
I think it's just crazy talk
and an excuse to get attention.
395
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,250
I think she's trying
to get Jones all bothered
396
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,490
and I think it's a waste of time
and I think it's dangerous.
397
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,390
And I don't know how
she can get to her guns
398
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:19,130
or any of her weapons with
that big, long Batman cape on.
399
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:22,130
I guess she's not allowed
to touch men
400
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,800
but it's okay for her
to shoot them and mace them
401
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,430
which is a weird distinction
402
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,470
to make in any religion,
I think.
403
00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:30,840
Yeah.
404
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,140
Yes, you ought to be able
to touch somebody.
405
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:35,080
If you're gonna kill them, you
ought to be able to touch them.
406
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:35,910
I agree.
407
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,750
I'm getting used to this
whole look here.
408
00:18:42,820 --> 00:18:45,590
You look like
Mary in the passion play
409
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:47,620
if the color's a little futzy.
410
00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:51,020
Yeah, and the vertical hold
is off a little bit.
411
00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:53,630
(Jones)
'You need to enjoy
the fruits of my bounty.'
412
00:18:53,690 --> 00:18:55,260
Uh, Williams. Uh--
413
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:57,870
- Excuse me, "X."
- 'Right, right.'
414
00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:01,030
- Raineesha X.
- Right, I got it.
415
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:03,170
I got your request
here for paid leave
416
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,710
for the entire month of Ramadan
417
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:07,980
because apparently
you have to fast and pray
418
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,580
and you can't travel to work,
things like that.
419
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,180
- That's right.
- An entire month, yeah.
420
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,550
I've made it clear, didn't I?
421
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,180
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I got it. And I got it.
422
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:16,320
And stamped it approved
423
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:19,820
and then, to the mail
at the station today came
424
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:22,890
your reservations
at the Atlantis Resort Casino
425
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,190
for 28 days of fun in the sun
426
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:27,930
'and a all-you-can-eat buffet.'
427
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:28,930
See--
428
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,300
These aren't related, are they?
429
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,730
'Okay! Okay, wait. Hold on.'
430
00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:36,040
I...
431
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:40,010
- Okay, you know what?
- I'm listening.
432
00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:41,310
The white devil's listening.
433
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:43,380
Yes, they're related, okay?
434
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,050
I'm gonna go ahead,
and I'm gonna come clean.
435
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:47,310
I...
436
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,990
I was saying what I was saying
about the nation
437
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:55,190
'cause I wanted the whole month
off, so that's the truth.
438
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,420
I appreciate your honesty.
439
00:19:56,490 --> 00:19:59,160
I know you're probably not
gonna let me go now
440
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,790
because of that
441
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:05,030
and so my tickets are gonna
basically be wasted, but...
442
00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:09,100
No, I don't care if you go.
You can go.
443
00:20:09,170 --> 00:20:11,910
Just, just don't lie.
444
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:13,170
I can go?
445
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,280
Well, you got a lot of sick
leave, anyway, so...
446
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,380
- Thank you.
- Sure.
447
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,250
I appreciate that.
448
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:21,920
And sorry about
the "white devil" thing.
449
00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:23,980
- Hey, I get it all the time.
- I was just playing.
450
00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:26,050
I get it all the time,
and worse.
451
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,220
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
452
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:32,130
Key chains for everybody?
Hah!
453
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,890
Shot glass for you.
454
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,430
I collect things
made out of clams.
455
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,000
Nothing for you.
456
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,930
[instrumental music]
457
00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:49,380
to have the little,
wah-wah.
458
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,440
Which one are you getting?
459
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,910
'Cause you came
to me and you said
460
00:20:51,980 --> 00:20:53,380
you had two
procedures coming up.
461
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:56,220
One was a wah-wah,
and one was like a eaaahhh.
462
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,850
No, this is, the four-day
procedure is wah-wah.
463
00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,620
I thought the nrrrr
464
00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:05,730
where they go in
the other way was longer.
465
00:21:05,790 --> 00:21:08,330
'Which is the one where they're
gonna do a little camera?'
466
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,230
That's a scraping.
That's a four-day.
467
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:13,870
That's the four-day?
Which sound does it go with?
468
00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:14,870
And we all cross our legs.
31487
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