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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,110 --> 00:00:19,890 Previously on Heels. Violence sometimes suggests a deeper issue going on with a 2 00:00:19,890 --> 00:00:23,590 child. It's a miracle we got out of that meeting with them agreeing to let 3 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,590 Thomas back in school. 4 00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:28,550 They wanted us to acknowledge punching as wrong. Punching is always wrong. 5 00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:29,830 Mr. Jackson! 6 00:00:31,190 --> 00:00:34,330 I'm sorry to burden you with this. You're my friend, not a burden. 7 00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:36,150 You can stay here as long as you want. 8 00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:38,510 My name is Crystal Thomas! 9 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:49,460 Congrats again, superstar. 10 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:54,540 So why are you here? 11 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:58,280 Ace, suits from up north sent me to scout him. He's not going to leave what 12 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:58,959 we're building. 13 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,400 I've been calling Ace since last night. 14 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:01,619 He's gone. 15 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:06,060 I'd like the restroom key, please. Gotta buy something. I got cold, cherry cold. 16 00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:07,480 Stick them all up your ass, sir. 17 00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:08,860 Let me buy you a meal, partner. 18 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,200 Go find some other runaway to make s'mores with. 19 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:14,120 If you're hiking and camping Dover Springs, I hope you're all geared up. I 20 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:14,958 just going to wear these. 21 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,780 You're going to hike in soccer shoes? It's pretty rough terrain. 22 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:49,880 the shore find you to find the 23 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,680 peace the truth 24 00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:03,090 Stirrin' Jack had the girls come to dinner to maybe invest in Daddy's 25 00:03:03,090 --> 00:03:05,630 league. Cake is our way of saying please. 26 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,910 Please sounds better with cake. 27 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:10,630 I got a good feeling about this. 28 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:12,110 Great. 29 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:14,310 I hope the good feelings turn into money. 30 00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:20,530 You stole a piece of cake. 31 00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:25,810 No, I didn't. Don't be standing twice at once, stealing and lying. Move it. You 32 00:03:25,810 --> 00:03:29,170 said I could have a piece. After Eddie had his. Pants down. 33 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,470 I'm sorry, Mommy. Too late for sorry. Pants down. 34 00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:43,310 What the hell's going on? 35 00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:46,750 It's all a piece of cake, then, lad. I won't be mother to a liar. 36 00:03:47,070 --> 00:03:48,210 Daddy's doing his second, Carol. 37 00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:50,170 You're unreal. 38 00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:58,110 You got the sponsorship, Donald. This is going to be great for the whole town. 39 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,740 Something great, Eddie. Bye. Thank you. 40 00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:04,960 Eddie Earl's giving us some money. 41 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:06,620 Daddy is so happy. 42 00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:11,020 Now, Jack. 43 00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:14,520 Mommy's job is to show her son how to behave. 44 00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:18,899 Chasing thy son while there is hope and let not thy son spare for his crime. 45 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,420 Proverbs 19, 18. 46 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,740 You became a better person today. 47 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,960 I'll get some cream for your boo -boos. 48 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,720 Put my phone down. 49 00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,640 You're going to use the landline until we find Ace. 50 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,100 Ace don't want to be found. 51 00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:46,360 This is Dad's belt. 52 00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:50,760 And I wear it sometimes to remind me to not be you. 53 00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:53,580 I've been thinking a lot about you. 54 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,340 How you behaved. 55 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,600 Well, boo -hoo. 56 00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,380 Now give me my phone. 57 00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:04,420 Ace needs to be left alone. You don't know what Ace needs any more than I do. 58 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,640 Know this, though. 59 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,300 If me and Ace end up killing each other, you will have played a big part in why. 60 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,140 Fuck! One more. 61 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,480 I can't. 62 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,260 I disagree. Come on. 63 00:06:32,689 --> 00:06:34,010 Here we go. 64 00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:36,210 Push. Come on. 65 00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:39,550 Yes. 66 00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:41,450 Nice. Okay. 67 00:06:44,350 --> 00:06:46,070 You look great. 68 00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:47,970 Yeah, thanks for pushing me to dig deep. 69 00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:51,650 In that case, almost there. 70 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,880 Andre buying me this bag. 71 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,500 Too generous. 72 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:09,680 Oh, look, Pop, now that I'm the champ at Dystopia, I'll make this in a day. 73 00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:14,160 Yeah, I worry about you and that car crash wrestling they do at Dystopia. 74 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,840 You'd never catch Rocky Johnson using barbed wire to beat a man. 75 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,640 Do it with his bare hands. 76 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,500 Look, Pop, I got this. 77 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,900 Look, I'm going to go work out now. You text me if you invite a lady over here 78 00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:27,900 to break in your new bed. 79 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,560 I'm going to need their heads up. 80 00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:31,890 Okay. Okay. 81 00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,210 All right. All right. Now, listen, I know how loud you can get. 82 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:49,790 Let's rip this fart together. 83 00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:55,290 The time has finally come. 84 00:07:55,690 --> 00:07:58,410 He's one of the greatest to ever step between the ropes. 85 00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:03,690 Three -time world champion, six -time tag team champion, the only man to 86 00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:08,010 three different species and defeat two of them. It's the Wild Bill Hancock 87 00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:09,010 Podcast. 88 00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:12,470 Diego Carmouth here, your masked menace luchador producing. 89 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:17,470 Bill, you said you wanted to cover not just wrestling, but life. You want each 90 00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:20,010 episode to be wide -ranging and estranging. 91 00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:24,110 Diego, my goal is to use the truth to offend as many people as I can. 92 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,790 So, look, lots to discuss. 93 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,480 But your fans got tons of questions, and they're going to fast forward until 94 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,240 they get the answers. So let's talk DWL first. 95 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,539 Folks have had difficulty following all the swerves at the DWL lately. 96 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,559 Crystal defeating both you and Jack Spade. 97 00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,520 Defeat's a dubious conclusion. 98 00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:45,240 Well, she has the belt. You do not. Is that not a defeat? 99 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,940 A setback is not a defeat. Uh -huh. 100 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:54,420 Now, Crystal, in her rise to DWL champ, had since had Ace Spade and Bobby Penn's 101 00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,420 valet. Correct. 102 00:08:56,090 --> 00:08:59,810 But she re -enlisted as your valet bunny bombshell. 103 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:01,870 I say that, Lassie, from the swamp. 104 00:09:02,350 --> 00:09:06,390 But the moment I was in need of the very services a valet renders, she forgot 105 00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:11,370 everything I'd done for her. The only reason she can hang with the big boys is 106 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:16,370 because I taught Crystal Tyler everything she knows. Now she's proven 107 00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:20,510 worthy to learn the rest of it in the opposing corner of the ring. I don't 108 00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,510 if you're a man, woman, or alien species. 109 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:26,730 You step through those ropes and cross the bill, you're going to get the horns. 110 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,370 Life is long. Yes, sir. 111 00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:32,530 Tell us what occurred at the State Fair with Charlie Guttier. My sense of honor 112 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,690 occurred. Gully crashed our event. I took umbrage. 113 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:40,590 Yeah, you claimed you had a bout of involuntary digestive distress. 114 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,030 I've stated facts. 115 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:46,610 God created the sphincter so that shitting by design would be voluntary. 116 00:09:46,610 --> 00:09:50,310 sphincter's a goddamn damper for the rectum. Acids don't leak unless they're 117 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:54,130 poisoned. Despite that, you swallowed your shame in pursuit of the belt. 118 00:09:54,330 --> 00:09:56,170 I'm a competitor first, gentleman second. 119 00:09:56,450 --> 00:10:01,150 Charlie Gully attempted to disrupt an athletic contest. Once I discovered I 120 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:06,290 some accidental excrement pooled in the seat of my pants, I made use of it. 121 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,210 You threw a clothesline? 122 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:10,170 And then I shit -stamped his face. 123 00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:14,950 It was as if fate herself proclaimed, here is a man you'd like to eat shit, 124 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:17,930 presenting his mouth as a fortuitous receptacle. 125 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,250 Boom! 126 00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:21,590 Lemons into lemonade, kids. 127 00:10:21,810 --> 00:10:22,810 Woo! 128 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,250 Hey, 129 00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,930 I'm going to grab some Egg McMuffins. You want one? 130 00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:36,450 No. How about for Jack? 131 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,110 Jack's out of town. To when? 132 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:42,390 We got to promote the next show. Did he give you a script? Nope, just said I was 133 00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:44,090 in charge. Holy shit. 134 00:10:44,530 --> 00:10:45,530 Was he stoned? 135 00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:47,110 Wait, you're in charge? 136 00:10:47,390 --> 00:10:48,390 Yay! 137 00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:49,590 Group power! 138 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:50,810 I've got to focus. 139 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:52,910 I'm a griddle and sausage. 140 00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:54,190 Go. 141 00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,640 I sprained my ankle. You got another line you could toss down? 142 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,500 Janice! What? 143 00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:23,860 There's a guy down here. 144 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,680 Says he might have broke his ankle. 145 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:29,900 I'll call in a rescue chopper. No, no, I sprained it. Just a sprain. 146 00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:31,760 A sprain can be worse than a break. 147 00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,960 Can you just let me try to climb up, please? 148 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:39,420 All right, Janice, no chopper this time. Just drop down another harness. Let's 149 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,440 help this guy out. 150 00:11:41,820 --> 00:11:44,360 So, I was thinking we'd do a backstage interview. 151 00:11:44,730 --> 00:11:48,350 A medical update on Wild Bill after Crystal kicked him into oblivion. Bill 152 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,070 the promo, shifts the blame to the crowd. 153 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,229 I love it. 154 00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,630 We should make Bobby our backstage robin reporter. 155 00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:57,130 His leg's still healing, but he's so stiff and robotic. 156 00:11:58,090 --> 00:12:01,750 Done. So Bobby gets Bill's reaction to all that went down last week. 157 00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:07,790 Crystal won is what went down. Yes, she did. So Bill tells the crowd how tough 158 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:10,350 you are, but then he calls you a piece of shit. 159 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,700 so that he can bring it all back around later saying, all that nice stuff I said 160 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,600 about you before, it's just going to make beating your ass all the more 161 00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:19,520 Perfect. You don't need to give me my due. 162 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:20,860 I took it. 163 00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:21,980 It's going in. 164 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:28,060 Hey, Willie, is Ace doing all right? 165 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,660 Right now, Ace is just a blinking dot on his mother's phone somewhere not here. 166 00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,620 Could be two towns over, could be Tallahassee. 167 00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:37,880 The only thing that Jack suggested was that we start off with your championship 168 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,280 celebration. So I'm thinking you come out on the mic, you know, pound for 169 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:45,500 I'm the best wrestler there is in the DWL, and I'm on top because you all 170 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,660 believed in me. You really make the crowd feel part of it. 171 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:53,900 Y 'all have taken me this far, and it's going to be one hell of a ride seeing 172 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:56,020 where we go from here together. 173 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,840 Exactly. You're the antithesis of Bill, but we don't want to see the two of you 174 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,240 mixing it up again until we string the story out further. 175 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:07,640 So instead, we have the dad interrupting on the mic. You know, sort of surrogate 176 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:12,380 for Bill, complaining about a woman holding a man's title, blah, blah. Wait, 177 00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:15,540 dad? He's so nice. Dad's a douche. 178 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,720 Really? I didn't know that. In the story. Keep up, kid. 179 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,320 You said it so emphatically. 180 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:24,160 I've got no idea what he's like in real life. I should probably find out if he's 181 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,160 even a real dad. 182 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,720 Okay, maybe the dad says some shit like... 183 00:13:29,949 --> 00:13:33,310 You're welcome to become the stepmom and do my laundry. 184 00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:36,890 Shit, now I hate the dad. Now I want to see you beat his ass. Why don't I just 185 00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:38,970 whoop his ass right then and there? Why wait? 186 00:13:39,310 --> 00:13:43,550 Roses for Crystal, the new champ left outside. 187 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:45,090 Secret admirer. 188 00:13:46,690 --> 00:13:47,690 What? 189 00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:49,810 First flowers for me ever. 190 00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:54,670 Just know that secret admirer might also be a secret serial killer. 191 00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,350 Oh, uh, Jack left Willie in charge. I know. 192 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:00,630 So great, right? 193 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:01,790 Girl power. 194 00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:03,910 Girl power. Please stop saying that. Girl power. 195 00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:09,630 Here comes the new El Jefe in the house. Hey, La Jefa Amina. 196 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:14,270 Hello. Jack's just taking some days off. Bill, did you just call Willie a 197 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,970 heifer? La Jefa is the boss in Spanish, Debbie. 198 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,550 Crystal, you got to check the gram. You're getting marriage proposals. 199 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,010 Roses, too. 200 00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:26,390 Secret admirer. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Will, two sacks. Got to send a 201 00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:27,390 text. 202 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:32,920 I don't care, Paula, whether it's cash, comma, Bitcoin, comma, or doubloons, 203 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,080 comma, get me paid. 204 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:39,480 And send. Thank you. Carry on. Okay. So we're going to kick it off with a 205 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,620 celebration of Crystal's championship. Really? Sorry. 206 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:46,430 What is a doubloon? Ancient Spanish currency. How ancient? Like back when 207 00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:47,430 bankrolled Columbus? 208 00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:51,870 Guy. Columbus was a genocidal assassin hired by racist Spaniards. They're 209 00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:55,670 conquistadors, and they learned that from the Romans. So, Bill's backstage. 210 00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:59,630 Bobby, now you're a reporter. Cool, yeah, use me how you need me. Ooh, 211 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:00,830 free -use guy, folks. 212 00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,290 Hey, hey, I got a surprise. 213 00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:04,909 Follow me. 214 00:15:04,910 --> 00:15:07,970 If it's just dick and a hot dog bun, I'm grabbing and not letting go. 215 00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:19,990 This is my buddy. How you doing? 216 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,470 Where'd you go, Dad? 217 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,430 I've just been at home. 218 00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:26,890 I miss you. Can you come get me? 219 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:32,210 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I just got to do a little something first. Won't be long, 220 00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:34,630 though. Could you put your mother on the phone for a second? 221 00:15:35,190 --> 00:15:36,190 She's on a run. 222 00:15:36,210 --> 00:15:37,710 Dad, when can I come back to school? 223 00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:42,270 We met with the school. You're no longer suspended. 224 00:15:42,930 --> 00:15:44,310 Mommy said they hadn't decided yet. 225 00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:49,070 I will call your mom to clarify. 226 00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,830 We'll fix it. Okay, Dad. Thanks. 227 00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:53,090 I love you. 228 00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:54,930 Love you too, buddy. You stay positive. 229 00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:05,650 Surprise! 230 00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:14,670 I kept the secret. 231 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,340 Mario Kart. I call Toad. Oh, I call Diddy Kong, so... Diddy Kong hasn't been 232 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:24,780 Mario Kart since the week. Yeah, I did not know that. Too generous, Eddie. 233 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:28,820 Well, yeah, you can watch vignettes, backstage stuff, interviews. 234 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,160 Totally. Okay. 235 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,800 Okay, back to work, folks. We can also have movie nights. 236 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:36,520 Oh, yeah, we got action. No, why don't we set that tutorial for later? 237 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,780 Oh, no, no, you're going to love it. 238 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,080 You're going to want to see what happens. 239 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,980 Everyone, please, shut up! 240 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,700 Sorry, Annie, it's just... 241 00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:46,430 We should have called first. I am so sorry. 242 00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:48,330 Jack left Willie in charge. 243 00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:51,070 Oh, well, isn't that just wonderful? 244 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:54,250 Well, everything is great. Just, you know, as usual, there's a lot to do. So 245 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,250 thank you for this. 246 00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:57,050 We'll put it to good use. We're so grateful. 247 00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:58,430 Everyone start warming up. 248 00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:00,690 Bill, may I speak to you privately for a minute? 249 00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:06,030 Jack is gone. Ace is gone. I need you to be ring general out there, not number 250 00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:07,770 one jackass on the jackass most wanted list. 251 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:11,630 Help me keep the group focused. Coach him up, keep him disciplined. Got it? 252 00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:12,589 aye, commandant. 253 00:17:12,589 --> 00:17:14,510 Give a jangle if you need a sounding board. 254 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,170 Okay. 255 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,930 Good and generous, Earl family. 256 00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:26,869 You must excuse us. We've got to whip this unit into a shape worthy enough to 257 00:17:26,869 --> 00:17:27,869 on your big screen TV. 258 00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:30,150 It's actually a video wall. 259 00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:33,870 Jim, it appears your life philosophy is to wait until someone says something, 260 00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,870 then make them feel stupid for saying it. 261 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,480 I'm just trying to tell the truth, even if it offends someone. 262 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,100 Come on, bro, listen to our podcast. 263 00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,360 All right, well, we'll let you all get to work, kids. 264 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:49,760 Okay, how about a round of applause for Eddie and Amy? 265 00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:53,020 Okay, 266 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:58,500 Crystal and Jim the Giant Jesuit, you're up first. Into the ring. 267 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,680 Let's get that call because I won't tell anybody. 268 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,650 Bro. 46 people, including Big Jim, have already streamed the podcast. 269 00:18:05,870 --> 00:18:08,230 That's so cool, man. You deserve it. Thanks, man. 270 00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:11,310 I'm telling you, man, they've got to start listening to my ideas around here. 271 00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:15,030 I'm going to get some graphics templates for this video wall, help our game. I 272 00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:16,770 can help bring this place to a whole new level. 273 00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:20,290 I hope they listen to you, man. Your genius is untapped. 274 00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:21,950 Yes, it is. 275 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:26,490 Don't worry, you've got two of them. 276 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:29,990 Hey, when Crystal... 277 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,280 Kissed me at the fair? What do you think that meant? 278 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,760 Did it see it? 279 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:35,860 She tongue you? 280 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,840 No. Did she suck on your lip? Like, you know, kind of clamping down for a 281 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:43,060 second, then pulling back and making a very faint popping sound? 282 00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:47,180 No. Did she lean onto your thigh and kind of, you know, linger there, 283 00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:50,760 her entire body weight onto you, centering it with her crotch? 284 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,780 No, it did not happen in the way that you just described. 285 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,280 Based on all that, no clue. 286 00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:58,060 Ask her what the kiss meant. 287 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,880 How in the heck am I supposed to ask a question like that? Well, you just asked 288 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,060 me a question like that. Ask her the same question. 289 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,520 Bro, she's getting marriage proposals and flowers and she's hot as shit. 290 00:19:08,740 --> 00:19:10,320 And also very, very cool. 291 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,000 It's a miracle she's single. 292 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,320 Make your move. 293 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,240 Her lips have at least touched yours. 294 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,780 It was a kiss on the lips, right? Don't be fucking telling me it was on your 295 00:19:18,780 --> 00:19:21,320 forehead or on your cheek. No, no, no. Lips were involved. 296 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:22,720 Hers and mine. 297 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:25,020 Make your intentions known. 298 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,840 If you whiff, on to the next. 299 00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:29,140 Good. 300 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:32,900 Knee. 301 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,240 So I can't believe you survived. 302 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,480 I know how to fall. 303 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000 I was a wrestler. 304 00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:15,860 Professional wrestler. 305 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,840 Ice every 15 minutes. And next hike, leave the soccer shoes behind. 306 00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:23,780 Get yourself some nails. I got 52 million styles. 307 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,900 But don't get cute and bother Claude. 308 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:27,860 Claude's only good for getting the mail. 309 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:30,960 Hey. 310 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,760 Stay a little longer. 311 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,040 We can get high. 312 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:37,720 Fool around. 313 00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:40,050 All of us? 314 00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:41,710 He must be concussed. 315 00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,950 I thought you were being nice because you wanted to hook up. 316 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,149 Come on, buddy. 317 00:20:46,150 --> 00:20:47,109 Read the room. 318 00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:50,390 Pal, if you interpret being nice as an invitation to fuck, you don't know what 319 00:20:50,390 --> 00:20:51,390 being nice looks like. 320 00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:55,910 I misinterpreted the situation. 321 00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:57,490 Yes, you did. 322 00:20:58,210 --> 00:20:59,330 Damn. Be better. 323 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,620 Well, he attempted to disrupt an athletic contest. Once I discovered I 324 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:15,300 accidental excrement pooled in the seat of my pants, I made use of it. 325 00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:19,400 You threw a clothesline? And then I shit -stamped his face. 326 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,000 It was as if fate hurt him. 327 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:22,700 One second, pal. 328 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,380 Hey, it's Charlie. We have a message. 329 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,160 Golly, it's Rooster. 330 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:33,700 We need to meet up. 331 00:21:34,110 --> 00:21:36,090 Someone is talking shit about you. 332 00:22:27,950 --> 00:22:30,110 Anytime you want to switch beds, love, just let me know. 333 00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:31,610 I like the air kind. 334 00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:36,010 Dad called while you were running. He said I could go back to school. 335 00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:38,290 Oh. 336 00:22:38,530 --> 00:22:40,290 Maybe the school finished their paperwork. 337 00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:42,190 He said he was home all this time. 338 00:22:42,650 --> 00:22:43,850 You said he was on a trip. 339 00:22:44,290 --> 00:22:45,790 Well, he must have come back early. 340 00:22:47,870 --> 00:22:49,250 Are you and Dad getting divorced? 341 00:22:51,890 --> 00:22:52,890 I want to be home. 342 00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:54,450 It's okay, love. 343 00:22:55,030 --> 00:22:55,869 It's not. 344 00:22:55,870 --> 00:22:57,050 You said he was on a trip. 345 00:22:57,390 --> 00:22:58,249 You lied. 346 00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:00,150 You're not a good mommy to keep me away from him. 347 00:23:00,890 --> 00:23:03,750 Hey, mister, sit yourself up right now. 348 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:08,450 You will not say that to mommy. You have no idea what it is to be a mommy. You 349 00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:10,810 can't just say those words and not have them hurt me. 350 00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:13,990 And you can't say them thinking they will hurt me and expect me to just sit 351 00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:14,990 and take it. You understand? 352 00:23:15,610 --> 00:23:16,610 I'm sorry, mommy. 353 00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:18,890 I don't want to be mean. I'm just sad. 354 00:23:19,250 --> 00:23:20,250 I miss daddy. 355 00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:21,770 I miss him so much. 356 00:23:33,930 --> 00:23:34,930 Hey, y 'all. 357 00:23:35,610 --> 00:23:36,610 Everything okay? 358 00:23:59,110 --> 00:24:02,010 You did a good job at this script. 359 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,240 It's all over the place. It's real good. 360 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:05,960 Can't be great in the first draft. 361 00:24:06,620 --> 00:24:10,240 Jack left you in charge because he trusts you won't completely fuck it up 362 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,360 might. Don't shit on it or I'll have to tackle you. 363 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:13,600 Would that be a bad thing? 364 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:16,680 I know. I got to focus. 365 00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:18,960 So the dad ragdolls Crystal through the table. 366 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,680 She'll sell it well, like it. 367 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,600 We can't just book some bullshit where she gets to glow up without getting her 368 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:24,579 ass kicked sometimes. 369 00:24:24,580 --> 00:24:27,500 Jack and I thought the same thing. Keep her down on the farm so she's got 370 00:24:27,500 --> 00:24:29,800 adversity to overcome. That's what they're paying to see. 371 00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:33,700 My narrative lies when women conquer a man's world, men don't exactly roll 372 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:34,980 No, they go back hard. 373 00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:37,340 But that's what she wanted, right? To win the belt? 374 00:24:38,230 --> 00:24:41,650 Man had the belt, so to win the belt, she had to fight men. Whether she 375 00:24:41,650 --> 00:24:43,870 or not, she's got to get her face pushed in a few times. What do you mean, 376 00:24:43,910 --> 00:24:45,230 whether she deserves it or not? 377 00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:48,510 I can't say she deserves to get her face pushed in. If you get in a boxing ring, 378 00:24:48,650 --> 00:24:51,550 do you deserve or not deserve to get punched? 379 00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:55,230 Are we saying Crystal was unaware of the pitfalls of her pursuits? 380 00:24:56,730 --> 00:25:00,320 Okay. So the dad ragdolls crystals through the table. She's out cold. It's 381 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:04,440 brutal. But then she stirs. She needs to sell the pain to the crowd. Hit all the 382 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,500 ises. Let them empathize and realize and crystallize her pain. 383 00:25:09,060 --> 00:25:10,060 Okay. 384 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,640 Hey, I'm working on the next card. 385 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:15,480 Wow, you're working late, huh? 386 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,160 How long do you think you'll be? I don't know. Jack left me in charge. I've got 387 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,220 to figure it all out. The card, the stories, all of it. Jack's letting you 388 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:23,099 matches now? 389 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,100 Believe me, I know. 390 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,840 Well, Robin needs help writing an essay. 391 00:25:27,210 --> 00:25:28,210 I guess you're the helper. 392 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:32,270 Ted, if it makes you feel better, Willie's hooking up probably one of the 393 00:25:32,270 --> 00:25:33,270 shows we've ever done. 394 00:25:33,610 --> 00:25:34,529 Hello, Bill. 395 00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:36,870 She's working us all into overtime, Tedly. 396 00:25:37,330 --> 00:25:40,070 But when the material's good, you don't mind. 397 00:25:40,770 --> 00:25:41,770 Uh -huh. 398 00:25:42,010 --> 00:25:43,790 Well, I'll let you two go. 399 00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:51,950 But then she stirs. 400 00:26:02,990 --> 00:26:03,990 Come home, please. 401 00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:06,770 How the fuck you find me? 402 00:26:08,130 --> 00:26:10,730 Find my phone app on Mom's phone. 403 00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:12,550 Mom's tracking me? 404 00:26:13,430 --> 00:26:14,530 You share locations. 405 00:26:17,190 --> 00:26:18,450 You're still in the family plan. 406 00:26:19,510 --> 00:26:23,150 When I die and go to hell, first thing I'm gonna do is find Steve Jobs and beat 407 00:26:23,150 --> 00:26:24,230 the fuck out of him. 408 00:26:24,450 --> 00:26:29,790 I hope that's not true for you or Steve Jobs. Unless he was... Unless he was 409 00:26:29,790 --> 00:26:31,090 mean to his cats or something. 410 00:26:38,190 --> 00:26:41,470 You look kind of banged up. You're looking kind of fuck you. 411 00:26:43,630 --> 00:26:44,630 Never again. 412 00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:51,130 Stopped at our family sharing to fuck off. 413 00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:55,930 I was hoping I was going to have you come home. 414 00:26:56,250 --> 00:26:58,430 Fuck off's just the tip of the icicle, Dick Jack. 415 00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:01,250 Fuck you with a massive icicle, Dick. 416 00:27:05,310 --> 00:27:08,100 She called. housekeeper. You should fuck off. With an icicle deck. 417 00:27:08,380 --> 00:27:09,380 I heard you. 418 00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:14,680 Was the room this trash when you checked in? 419 00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:15,900 Nope. Had a bash. 420 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,020 Been meeting some great people across the U .S. today. 421 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,880 Cool. 422 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,020 I got some cash on hand for my last gate receipt. 423 00:27:26,220 --> 00:27:28,520 Figured that if you were going to be gone for good, you'd need it. 424 00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:31,040 Stealing from the DWL bank now, huh? 425 00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:32,630 It's hard to steal from what's ours. 426 00:27:32,850 --> 00:27:33,649 Don't say ours. 427 00:27:33,650 --> 00:27:37,950 You made me think it was ours. It's yours. Dad bequeathed the DWL to you. 428 00:27:38,170 --> 00:27:39,390 Because he wanted me cursed. 429 00:27:39,610 --> 00:27:41,530 Oh, curse my ass. I've seen the buzz building with Crystal. 430 00:27:41,930 --> 00:27:42,930 Without me. 431 00:27:43,910 --> 00:27:46,910 DWL's taking off like you always dreamt. Yet my brother's in the Mississippi 432 00:27:46,910 --> 00:27:50,550 motel room and my wife's near left me. Maybe you should ask yourself why. What 433 00:27:50,550 --> 00:27:53,090 the fuck do you think led me here? Mom's phone. 434 00:27:56,730 --> 00:27:57,730 I'm here. 435 00:27:58,510 --> 00:27:59,510 Hat in hand. 436 00:27:59,770 --> 00:28:02,330 Because I have been thinking about it. About how to get sympathy. 437 00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:03,550 About my brother. 438 00:28:04,170 --> 00:28:09,730 About how my actions have affected you and Stacy and Thomas. 439 00:28:10,070 --> 00:28:11,650 Dear old brother Ace. 440 00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:14,130 Blah. Wife and son. 441 00:28:14,810 --> 00:28:15,810 Blah. 442 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:18,010 Heard it all before, Jack. 443 00:28:19,310 --> 00:28:20,850 This is not going how I expected. 444 00:28:21,110 --> 00:28:22,150 Because you're not scripting it. 445 00:28:22,550 --> 00:28:26,050 I'm not just going to say what you want me to. I know all that. 446 00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:27,630 I need to say something. 447 00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:30,870 And then I will leave. 448 00:28:35,490 --> 00:28:36,530 May I sit? 449 00:28:50,010 --> 00:28:56,450 When Bill came to you with that big -time contract offer, I was stunned. 450 00:28:56,770 --> 00:28:57,770 I wasn't. 451 00:29:00,199 --> 00:29:05,100 Not because I don't realize how great you are, but because I've come to rely 452 00:29:05,100 --> 00:29:07,100 your talent, your persona. 453 00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:09,980 It was dynamic. 454 00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:12,420 DWL was working. 455 00:29:13,140 --> 00:29:14,960 I could see our shared future together. 456 00:29:15,260 --> 00:29:19,540 And then Bill showed up with a golden picket just for you. 457 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,620 I was not prepared for that. 458 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,040 You were going to take your talents elsewhere. 459 00:29:30,030 --> 00:29:31,390 Just like LeBron, motherfucker. 460 00:29:34,370 --> 00:29:36,710 When that happened, that threw me. 461 00:29:39,910 --> 00:29:44,930 I guess it kind of... I don't guess. 462 00:29:46,150 --> 00:29:47,510 It knocked me down. 463 00:29:48,990 --> 00:29:50,230 I was gutted. 464 00:29:53,950 --> 00:29:56,230 Then I was embarrassed that I... 465 00:29:57,390 --> 00:29:59,590 that I wasn't offering up congratulations to you. 466 00:30:03,930 --> 00:30:10,910 And whether that was desperation or envy, both, what I am sure of is that 467 00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:11,910 Humiliated me. 468 00:30:16,470 --> 00:30:18,770 I used what I knew as your brother. 469 00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,450 Things only brothers know. 470 00:30:24,630 --> 00:30:25,830 To push your buttons. 471 00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:28,660 That you did. 472 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:34,140 Then instead of owning up to that like a decent person, 473 00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:40,540 I told myself it was for your own good. 474 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,900 Dad killing himself fucked me up. 475 00:30:51,660 --> 00:30:52,980 More than I care to admit. 476 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:04,920 I loved him so much. 477 00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:08,700 I hated him so much. 478 00:31:10,740 --> 00:31:13,700 And I glossed over all that because I couldn't change it. 479 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,580 The love, the hate. 480 00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:21,360 The way he was, the way he wasn't. 481 00:31:24,260 --> 00:31:25,420 The way he went out. 482 00:31:28,820 --> 00:31:31,320 You and me are trying to survive. 483 00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:35,730 After finding out the spade men aren't supposed to survive. 484 00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:45,350 We're supposed to come home and blow our heads off on the back porch and 485 00:31:45,350 --> 00:31:48,030 let our sons clean us out. 486 00:31:48,570 --> 00:31:49,570 My God. 487 00:31:52,930 --> 00:31:59,710 That's terrible, Jack. That's... I am 488 00:31:59,710 --> 00:32:00,710 truly sorry. 489 00:32:02,540 --> 00:32:03,860 for the way that I've treated you. 490 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:11,780 Please come home. 491 00:32:16,460 --> 00:32:18,680 Give me a chance to be a great brother to you. 492 00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:25,420 You were never a bad big brother. 493 00:32:27,100 --> 00:32:28,100 Only lately. 494 00:32:31,310 --> 00:32:33,550 I'm not a good guy who deserves a great brother anyway. 495 00:32:34,290 --> 00:32:35,850 I'm a shit heap all on my own. 496 00:32:36,650 --> 00:32:37,650 No, you're not. 497 00:32:38,850 --> 00:32:40,230 And you don't know me very well. 498 00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:42,410 I know the heart of you. 499 00:32:45,510 --> 00:32:46,510 Good uncle. 500 00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:49,510 Teammate, friend. 501 00:32:50,830 --> 00:32:52,150 Jack, I'm not a good guy. 502 00:32:53,990 --> 00:32:54,990 Farthest thing from it. 503 00:32:56,290 --> 00:32:58,310 These people loved you before I turned you heel. 504 00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:02,510 Let me help make it right. 505 00:33:06,690 --> 00:33:08,570 Jack, you know what I realized on this trip? 506 00:33:12,650 --> 00:33:17,570 After several disturbing interactions, 507 00:33:17,950 --> 00:33:24,510 I'm not good at making new friends. 508 00:33:26,950 --> 00:33:28,390 I haven't made a new friend in years. 509 00:33:29,990 --> 00:33:33,170 Making friends was never hard because I was always part of a team. I had, like, 510 00:33:33,210 --> 00:33:35,230 Insta friends, guys I met through sports. 511 00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:37,950 Everyone kind of had to be my friend. 512 00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:39,250 That's not true. 513 00:33:39,290 --> 00:33:40,290 Don't tell me that. 514 00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:41,430 I do bad shit. 515 00:33:42,110 --> 00:33:45,030 I say dumb things. I do dumb things. I broke Bobby's leg. 516 00:33:46,170 --> 00:33:49,850 I left the DWL because no one really likes me. I'm gone because any other 517 00:33:49,850 --> 00:33:52,270 promotion would have run me out of town. We're not any other promotion. 518 00:33:52,590 --> 00:33:58,370 But the worst thing I've done, the worst thing I've done, is I told you you were 519 00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,370 going to stay in Duffy. 520 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,020 And kill yourself like Dad. 521 00:34:06,260 --> 00:34:07,260 He's forgotten. 522 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,060 I'm reminding you. 523 00:34:09,980 --> 00:34:11,100 I'm that guy. 524 00:34:12,340 --> 00:34:14,360 I'm the guy who said that. 525 00:34:15,980 --> 00:34:17,739 What kind of guy says that to his brother? 526 00:34:18,420 --> 00:34:19,420 Me. 527 00:34:19,699 --> 00:34:20,699 It's in the past. 528 00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:21,900 Don't matter. 529 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:27,600 Everything that came to me after that statement, I said in motion. 530 00:34:27,900 --> 00:34:28,900 That's not true. 531 00:34:29,310 --> 00:34:30,310 Yes, it is. 532 00:34:32,350 --> 00:34:37,050 And yeah, yeah, you were kind of dickish about the belt. 533 00:34:39,010 --> 00:34:40,230 I didn't have to say that. 534 00:34:42,050 --> 00:34:43,050 And yet I did. 535 00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:50,370 And I did it because I'm a selfish fuck who was praised his whole life for 536 00:34:50,370 --> 00:34:54,370 sports. And now that sports are over, I don't know what the fuck to do when I 537 00:34:54,370 --> 00:34:55,370 don't get it. 538 00:35:08,850 --> 00:35:09,870 Not coming home, Jack. 539 00:35:39,630 --> 00:35:41,090 Lord, please help me. 540 00:35:45,270 --> 00:35:46,270 Please. 541 00:35:48,690 --> 00:35:49,690 Help me. 542 00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,170 I need help, Lord. 543 00:36:03,530 --> 00:36:05,070 You know where you're going next? 544 00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:10,830 Some... Wonderful unknown place called... Not Duffy. 545 00:36:13,710 --> 00:36:14,710 Do West. 546 00:36:15,770 --> 00:36:16,870 That's what they say, right? 547 00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:20,050 Go West, young man. 548 00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:22,030 You're not getting any younger. 549 00:36:28,030 --> 00:36:31,170 Sometimes I think about Dad. 550 00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:36,770 And if he's happier... Dead. 551 00:36:40,430 --> 00:36:45,790 You ever wonder if it's, like, worse, what comes after this life? 552 00:36:47,950 --> 00:36:49,450 I haven't spoke something this life. 553 00:36:53,910 --> 00:36:59,930 I think the thing that made Dad a sad man is that he 554 00:36:59,930 --> 00:37:02,670 wanted something he never got. 555 00:37:05,190 --> 00:37:08,330 And that made him sad and mean. 556 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:17,380 I don't want something so much like being famous that I become sad and mean. 557 00:37:21,300 --> 00:37:25,800 The only thing that keeps me going is not that I think that this life's going 558 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:30,880 be better, but that what comes after we die might be worse. 559 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:36,260 I may laugh hard on you. 560 00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,340 I shouldn't have. 561 00:37:45,450 --> 00:37:46,450 I'm really sorry. 562 00:37:51,250 --> 00:37:53,270 Thanks for coming all the way out here, Jack, really. 563 00:37:55,250 --> 00:38:02,110 If you ever feel bad about how things went down, just let it go. 564 00:38:03,910 --> 00:38:04,910 It's forgiven. 565 00:38:05,310 --> 00:38:06,310 For reals. 566 00:38:08,390 --> 00:38:11,490 I care about you so very much. 567 00:38:13,970 --> 00:38:14,970 See that? 568 00:38:32,430 --> 00:38:33,430 The gas money. 569 00:38:34,470 --> 00:38:35,610 And the room damage. 570 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,140 Really, I've been working on my reporter voice. Which sucks. 571 00:39:24,580 --> 00:39:27,240 Diego, tell me why you're doing a move unscripted for the dad. 572 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,960 I told y 'all. I just thought me ragdolling Crystal might be more 573 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:32,098 For who? 574 00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:35,740 Me? Because I was up till two working on that shit. I just thought you'd maybe 575 00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:39,160 like this better. It's totally my fault. It wasn't totally your fault. The fault 576 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,380 is all of yours for not doing what I wrote. Would you do this to Jack? Huh? 577 00:39:42,660 --> 00:39:46,420 I don't think so. Hey, y 'all gotta watch this. No, Debbie, not now. You're 578 00:39:46,420 --> 00:39:47,420 really gonna mean it. 579 00:39:48,710 --> 00:39:53,190 Just joining us, shocking video has surfaced of NFL linebacker Chris DiLeo 580 00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:54,330 assaulting his wife. 581 00:40:00,610 --> 00:40:06,490 The football star rag -dolling his wife follows a disturbing trend of athletes 582 00:40:06,490 --> 00:40:11,150 and domestic violence, including All -Star shortstop Joe Kwiatkowski, who 583 00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:13,010 punched his girlfriend at a Las Vegas casino. 584 00:40:13,490 --> 00:40:17,070 White House Press Secretary Millicent Burgin had this comment moments ago. 585 00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:21,660 The president condemns the current wave of violence as highlighted by the rash 586 00:40:21,660 --> 00:40:26,060 of pro athletes caught on camera pummeling women. This Saturday, he and 587 00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:30,500 First Lady will lead a call to action march on the National Mall in an effort 588 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:35,020 wipe out this national scourge. Informal protests have begun to form outside the 589 00:40:35,020 --> 00:40:41,380 headquarters of the NFL and MLB. When we come back, red wine, superfood, or 590 00:40:41,380 --> 00:40:42,380 super poison? 591 00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:47,740 I'll take the rest of the day. 592 00:40:49,340 --> 00:40:50,520 Turn that shit off. 593 00:40:54,980 --> 00:40:55,980 Oh, 594 00:40:56,340 --> 00:41:00,640 they fucking with you, Charlie. 595 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,020 And they fucking with your business. 596 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,700 Well, Bill has a lot of things. 597 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,120 Yeah, they're having a nice laugh. 598 00:41:09,140 --> 00:41:10,240 They're funny guys. 599 00:41:10,580 --> 00:41:11,600 Yeah, I can be funny. 600 00:41:12,240 --> 00:41:14,600 Larry, I could be funny too. 601 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,580 is by far the greatest moment in my life. 602 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,760 A life that hasn't been too full of them. 603 00:41:28,780 --> 00:41:34,760 When I won that strap, I was on top of the world, and y 'all helped put me 604 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:35,760 there. 605 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,160 Wow. 606 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,040 Hey, you. 607 00:41:40,140 --> 00:41:41,140 Hey. 608 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,080 We're supposed to take the rest of the day off. 609 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:47,340 I was just thinking about how things might go and Willie and Jack talk. 610 00:41:47,740 --> 00:41:49,560 Just wanted to walk through some stuff I was thinking. 611 00:41:49,820 --> 00:41:52,330 Makes sense. You think they're gonna... You know, maybe. 612 00:41:53,130 --> 00:41:54,170 Change things up? Yeah. 613 00:41:54,690 --> 00:41:55,690 Yeah. 614 00:41:56,010 --> 00:41:57,710 I get why. 615 00:41:58,330 --> 00:42:02,230 It's like, you know, when a big tornado devastates a town, no one wants to watch 616 00:42:02,230 --> 00:42:03,209 a tornado movie. 617 00:42:03,210 --> 00:42:04,210 Yeah. 618 00:42:04,910 --> 00:42:06,470 I just want to wrestle. 619 00:42:06,910 --> 00:42:11,030 I can't tell people what things can mean or should mean or how whatever they're 620 00:42:11,030 --> 00:42:12,030 watching means what it means. 621 00:42:15,730 --> 00:42:16,810 You want to get something to eat? 622 00:42:17,330 --> 00:42:18,330 Yeah, sure. 623 00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:20,010 Cool. 624 00:42:22,150 --> 00:42:23,430 Crystal, I've got to ask you something. 625 00:42:25,010 --> 00:42:27,190 Yes, I was afraid Diego was going to drop me. 626 00:42:28,030 --> 00:42:29,030 No. 627 00:42:29,830 --> 00:42:32,110 It didn't mean anything when you kissed me at the fair. 628 00:42:35,070 --> 00:42:36,070 Saying goodnight. 629 00:42:36,650 --> 00:42:41,270 I thought I felt certain... A certain something extra. 630 00:42:44,050 --> 00:42:46,910 Not really. 631 00:42:48,370 --> 00:42:49,370 No. 632 00:42:50,710 --> 00:42:51,710 Okay, then. 633 00:42:52,710 --> 00:42:55,210 Yeah, it's a... Sorry to have asked. 634 00:42:56,330 --> 00:42:59,210 I guess you can't really help it if you're naturally really good at it. 635 00:42:59,670 --> 00:43:00,710 When it means something, 636 00:43:01,530 --> 00:43:04,290 this is how I get it. 637 00:43:14,610 --> 00:43:15,610 Any other questions? 638 00:43:16,090 --> 00:43:17,090 Nope. 639 00:43:17,510 --> 00:43:21,330 Good. Now, if you don't mind, after dinner, 640 00:43:22,110 --> 00:43:23,610 We should probably just go to our neutral corners. 641 00:43:24,890 --> 00:43:25,890 Cool down. 642 00:43:26,910 --> 00:43:27,910 Focus. 643 00:43:28,470 --> 00:43:29,470 Sure. 644 00:43:31,170 --> 00:43:33,330 I'm just going to kiss you one more time first, though. Sounds good to me. 645 00:43:35,830 --> 00:43:36,830 Hey. 646 00:43:52,490 --> 00:43:53,490 Found him. 647 00:43:54,610 --> 00:43:55,610 I'll come back. 648 00:43:57,390 --> 00:43:58,390 Sorry, Jack. 649 00:43:58,810 --> 00:43:59,950 He's going west. 650 00:44:00,830 --> 00:44:02,570 Where? Not sure. 651 00:44:03,990 --> 00:44:04,990 Wow. 652 00:44:05,450 --> 00:44:06,450 Yeah. 653 00:44:09,390 --> 00:44:10,390 Yep. 654 00:44:10,810 --> 00:44:11,810 How's things here? 655 00:44:14,550 --> 00:44:15,790 You haven't seen the news? 656 00:44:16,650 --> 00:44:18,630 I've been calling you, texting you, nothing. 657 00:44:19,610 --> 00:44:21,630 All right, well. 658 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,460 We need a women's division. 659 00:44:25,820 --> 00:44:26,820 It's time. 660 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:31,540 Okay. Okay, so here's what I think we do. I think we bring in some stringers 661 00:44:31,540 --> 00:44:35,060 a while. Women, you know, we can't have Crystal getting beat on each week by 662 00:44:35,060 --> 00:44:36,140 every man on our roster. 663 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,480 And vice versa, she can't run through everyone. It's a nice little story. 664 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,340 pulled it off this far, but it's not sustainable for business. 665 00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:46,140 You all right? 666 00:44:48,340 --> 00:44:51,880 Look, there's a reason your dad didn't want Ace doing this. 667 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,020 He didn't think he was built for it. 668 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:56,580 He did think it was for you. 669 00:44:58,740 --> 00:45:00,520 The last couple days have been good for me, though. 670 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,180 You know, I think I really found some story areas that we can write toward, 671 00:45:04,180 --> 00:45:05,780 we can keep exploring. 672 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,900 I'm excited about where we can go. 673 00:45:08,380 --> 00:45:11,200 I'm just sorry we had to pivot a bit with Crystal. 674 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:12,600 She's really... 675 00:45:31,580 --> 00:45:32,580 See you later. 676 00:46:02,700 --> 00:46:04,360 How in the hell did you get in here? 677 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:06,680 Still got my key. 678 00:46:07,260 --> 00:46:11,280 You should really get a keypad, Jack. We had trouble working the spotlight at 679 00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:15,160 first, but luckily my cousin Paul spent a summer touring with Billy Squire. What 680 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,360 was Squire's hit song again, Paul? Stroking? 681 00:46:17,820 --> 00:46:20,220 Stroking. Get off my property. 682 00:46:20,620 --> 00:46:21,620 Now. 683 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,320 Turnabout's fair play, Jack. You came on my property. Now I'm on yours. I 684 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,400 thought about sticking one of those big red bows they put on new cars on myself, 685 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:32,580 but that seemed like overkill. 686 00:46:33,740 --> 00:46:35,720 Big boy, I'm here to give props. 687 00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:40,020 I thought you painted yourself into a corner at the state fair, but you booked 688 00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:44,840 your way right out of that. I mean, Crystal, wow. My hat is off, literally. 689 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,740 Very nice of you to drive all this way just to put me over. I want both of us 690 00:46:48,740 --> 00:46:50,200 get over. I got a big heart. 691 00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:53,100 It's time we did a cross promotion. 692 00:46:53,630 --> 00:46:55,910 Your guys against my guys. One ring. 693 00:46:56,130 --> 00:46:58,950 Red Rover, Red Rover. People go nuts. We get rich. 694 00:46:59,190 --> 00:47:00,190 No thank you. 695 00:47:01,270 --> 00:47:02,430 Leave your key on the way out. 696 00:47:02,630 --> 00:47:05,830 A smart man, a man with dreams and obligations, stops walking for a second 697 00:47:05,830 --> 00:47:06,830 hears me out. 698 00:47:07,110 --> 00:47:11,390 Will that get you on your way faster? Think about it. I got your expat rooster 699 00:47:11,390 --> 00:47:12,390 here on my payroll. 700 00:47:12,670 --> 00:47:16,030 You decided to fuck with me and punch me three times. That crime is the most 701 00:47:16,030 --> 00:47:18,210 viewed video on Dystopia's Instagram. 702 00:47:18,690 --> 00:47:22,550 Bill and his big hairy fuck buddy Diego started talking shit about me on their 703 00:47:22,550 --> 00:47:23,550 brand new podcast. 704 00:47:23,650 --> 00:47:27,590 Now I want to beat their brains in. All of this is free story, Jack. The most 705 00:47:27,590 --> 00:47:30,070 precious commodity in our business. 706 00:47:30,290 --> 00:47:36,930 Jack, you know I was the best on the DWL roster. You can get all of this back. 707 00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:39,390 At least for a couple of calls. 708 00:47:39,730 --> 00:47:40,950 Fuck you, DeAndre. 709 00:47:42,300 --> 00:47:43,259 Fuck you, Jack. 710 00:47:43,260 --> 00:47:46,600 You fucking with my money when you fucking with dystopia. Oh, listen. All 711 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:47,600 are fucking with me. 712 00:47:48,420 --> 00:47:50,000 I went down to Florida to get my brother. 713 00:47:50,620 --> 00:47:52,820 Come clean, Charlie. You were poaching Ace. 714 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:56,540 Poaching Ace just like you poached Rooster. Don't use the word poaching me 715 00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:57,540 I'm some fucking animal. 716 00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:58,920 Or an egg. 717 00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:01,780 Look, Jack, I just offered a couple guys a job. 718 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:06,160 Okay? Everyone is very tense with being fucked with. But here's the thing. We 719 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:07,400 live in an extraordinary time. 720 00:48:08,140 --> 00:48:10,120 The meaning of fuck with has changed. 721 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,630 The meaning of fuck with... Has evolved. 722 00:48:13,230 --> 00:48:17,190 How's it go again, Rooster? If I fuck with somebody, it used to be bad. 723 00:48:17,490 --> 00:48:21,830 Now it can be good. So if I fucks with you, then we good. 724 00:48:22,590 --> 00:48:28,450 So, I want to take the old definition, you fucked with me, bad, and turn it 725 00:48:28,450 --> 00:48:30,110 into, I fucks with you, good. 726 00:48:30,630 --> 00:48:31,750 Am I getting that right, Rooster? 727 00:48:32,010 --> 00:48:35,710 Oh, you're a quick learner, Gilly. Yeah, well, young people keep me young. Jack, 728 00:48:35,850 --> 00:48:40,550 there's money lying on the floor, and all we got to do is bend over and pick 729 00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:41,660 up. Not interested. 730 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,220 Jack, I'm here with an olive branch. 731 00:48:44,460 --> 00:48:45,520 Shove it up your ass. 732 00:48:46,420 --> 00:48:47,660 That's not a nice thing to say. 733 00:48:49,020 --> 00:48:50,880 It's not a nice thing to do with an olive branch. 734 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:55,780 When someone presents you with the peace offering, especially a potentially 735 00:48:55,780 --> 00:48:59,480 lucrative one, you should treat it with some affection, not tell the guy he's 736 00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:00,480 just jamming up his bum. 737 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,960 Would you take my olive branch out of my bum, Jack? 738 00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,040 That way we can have peace. 739 00:49:07,660 --> 00:49:09,320 Profit. And by the way, we can have olives. 740 00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:10,940 You like olives, rooster? Yes. 741 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:13,200 Jack don't. 742 00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,100 So maybe we should just go on ahead and go home. 743 00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:17,319 That's a great idea. 744 00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,780 Get the fuck on your way. Okay, Jack, I guess the time for smoking the peace 745 00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:21,780 pipe is over. 746 00:49:22,980 --> 00:49:26,460 What in the hell is happening? How many people you got hiding around here? Jack, 747 00:49:26,700 --> 00:49:30,160 this fireplug of a man is my attorney, Sam Burfey. 748 00:49:30,590 --> 00:49:35,030 He practices in Florida and Georgia, but he especially enjoys Georgia because he 749 00:49:35,030 --> 00:49:37,090 says it's like fish in a barrel up here. 750 00:49:37,310 --> 00:49:38,288 Sick him, counselor. 751 00:49:38,290 --> 00:49:41,630 This is personal injury litigation pursuant to you trespassing onto 752 00:49:41,630 --> 00:49:44,470 property and punching petitioner in the face. Yeah, you can't do that, Jack. 753 00:49:44,550 --> 00:49:48,750 That's assault and battery, and that's against the law. My body is my body. I 754 00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:52,730 have a right to its safety. You violated it. I lost a crown, I lost a feeling in 755 00:49:52,730 --> 00:49:55,610 my jaw, and I also lost about $3 million worth of personal credibility. 756 00:49:57,190 --> 00:49:59,470 You've been served. I'm so good at that. 757 00:50:00,570 --> 00:50:01,570 Uh -uh, Jack. 758 00:50:02,590 --> 00:50:03,590 Balls were cool. 759 00:50:05,030 --> 00:50:07,310 Also an officer of the court is present. Me. 760 00:50:07,630 --> 00:50:11,490 So one punch under these circumstances will secure petitioner's victory and 761 00:50:11,490 --> 00:50:14,150 bring on a second lawsuit, which petitioner will also win. 762 00:50:15,610 --> 00:50:17,510 Let me stick my chin out there for you, Jack. 763 00:50:18,690 --> 00:50:19,690 Go ahead. 764 00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:22,610 No? All right, slugger. Very good. 765 00:50:24,290 --> 00:50:25,770 You seem to fancy yourself. 766 00:50:26,380 --> 00:50:30,100 A master storyteller will tell me a story about a man who thinks he can 767 00:50:30,100 --> 00:50:31,100 people without consequence. 768 00:50:33,820 --> 00:50:35,380 That story's not this story. 769 00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:40,580 But in the spirit of burying the hatchet, you get to decide what the 770 00:50:40,580 --> 00:50:41,359 will be. 771 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:45,920 You help me restore my honor in the ring with a cross -promotion between the DWL 772 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:50,100 and dystopia, or I hit you back and take everything you got. 773 00:50:54,180 --> 00:50:55,400 It is not for me. 774 00:50:55,820 --> 00:51:01,020 to ask you why the consequences of punching me never occurred to you. Maybe 775 00:51:01,020 --> 00:51:02,680 did, and you dismissed them. 776 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:04,320 Not smart. 777 00:51:05,660 --> 00:51:10,680 So you decide if you want to take the olive branch out of my bum and work 778 00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:16,400 together, or if you want to watch me take every goddamn dollar you make for 779 00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:17,640 rest of your goddamn life. 780 00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:22,980 I look forward to hearing from you. 781 00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:27,600 All right, everybody, back in the club. 782 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,140 Can't believe you found me. 783 00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:49,960 I care about you. 784 00:51:51,260 --> 00:51:52,300 You shared a lot. 785 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:00,600 How's that? 786 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:02,200 Tender? 787 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:03,760 Yeah, a little. 788 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:07,720 Thought about you today. 789 00:52:10,260 --> 00:52:11,360 You look different. 790 00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:14,500 How so? 791 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,500 You didn't have any clothes on. 792 00:52:19,060 --> 00:52:22,180 That was for Bobby, motherfucker! 793 00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:23,900 Payback time! 794 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,080 Get him! 795 00:52:25,740 --> 00:52:28,340 What the fuck are you doing? Fucking you up! 796 00:52:31,460 --> 00:52:33,180 Say it again, 797 00:52:34,340 --> 00:52:38,460 Mr. Spade. Hold it together, Ace. Oh, he said hold it together, Ace. 798 00:52:39,260 --> 00:52:42,260 My name's Royce because race is race, number one. 799 00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,020 I want you to don't give up the fight. 800 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,200 Compete! Compete! 801 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:16,720 It affects us that we can't have male wrestlers beating on female wrestlers 802 00:53:16,720 --> 00:53:20,780 because people get upset when they see real men beat real women. I mean, okay, 803 00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,400 fine, but how come they can't separate the two? 804 00:53:24,220 --> 00:53:30,040 I, me, the Debs, know Crystal getting punched in the face is to pretend for my 805 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:34,280 entertainment, just like when it happens to Jack or Diego or Bill. I said this 806 00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:37,140 exact thing to Bobby. Why can't people find it cool? 807 00:53:37,530 --> 00:53:41,230 that a man twice the size of Crystal is launching her across the room. She's a 808 00:53:41,230 --> 00:53:45,610 character. She's not dead, okay? She has the belt. We're going to make sure she 809 00:53:45,610 --> 00:53:50,430 wins. We just don't want to look implausible every second. She needs 810 00:53:50,430 --> 00:53:51,990 to fight against. You show me. 811 00:53:52,390 --> 00:53:55,230 A woman who doesn't have to fight against men who can't. 812 00:53:56,210 --> 00:53:57,210 So sad. 813 00:53:57,350 --> 00:54:01,610 And the heck with the women who can't handle watching it. I'm so sick of 814 00:54:01,610 --> 00:54:04,910 estrogen and fragile female anus. 815 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,720 or it's fertility or estrogen. It might just be people not want to think about 816 00:54:13,720 --> 00:54:15,160 bad stuff while they're being entertained. 817 00:54:15,900 --> 00:54:16,980 That might be it, too. 818 00:54:18,780 --> 00:54:19,780 What on? 819 00:55:13,710 --> 00:55:14,710 It's too late to say sorry. 820 00:55:18,830 --> 00:55:21,270 I'm sorry I put the DWL first. 821 00:55:23,110 --> 00:55:25,470 And I'm sorry that I haven't been the best of me. 822 00:55:26,210 --> 00:55:28,410 I'm sorry I kept your son from you. 823 00:55:29,970 --> 00:55:30,970 I'm sorry. 824 00:55:33,970 --> 00:55:35,070 I'm sorry too. 825 00:55:37,050 --> 00:55:38,670 I love you so much. 826 00:55:39,730 --> 00:55:40,730 I love you. 827 00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:43,860 He missed you. 828 00:56:12,270 --> 00:56:13,270 I'm almost baking. 829 00:56:13,490 --> 00:56:15,790 Yes. Thank you very much. 830 00:56:36,530 --> 00:56:39,790 Uh, Mom doesn't want me home. 831 00:56:42,350 --> 00:56:43,350 Did I say here? 832 00:56:43,950 --> 00:56:44,950 Uncle Ace! 833 00:56:48,370 --> 00:56:49,470 I missed you. 834 00:56:50,350 --> 00:56:51,350 Hey, dude. 835 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,700 A cross promotion to DWL and BLWD. 836 00:58:34,300 --> 00:58:35,300 It's a bad idea. 837 00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:37,640 I think it's a good idea. 838 00:58:38,020 --> 00:58:41,180 I'm going to Florida to scope out some professional wrestling promotion. 839 00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,260 He wants to discuss putting dystopia on TV. 840 00:58:44,340 --> 00:58:45,340 Can you smell? 841 00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:51,500 You're using me to buck up your fragile ego. We need, throughout Gully, Gully. 842 00:58:51,660 --> 00:58:53,000 You want to play fuck, fuck? 843 00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:54,520 Spin the wheel. 63407

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