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Psychoanalysis was created
by Sigmund Freud,
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00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,957
a neurologist.
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00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,710
It is rooted in science.
6
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:47,798
Psychomagic was created
by Alejandro Jodorowsky,
7
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,759
a film and theatre director.
8
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,846
It is rooted in art.
9
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:58,017
Psychoanalysis
is a therapy through words.
10
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:03,480
Psychomagic
is a therapy through acts.
11
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:07,693
Psychoanalysis
prevents the therapist
12
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,903
from touching the patients.
13
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:13,407
Psychomagic invites the therapist
14
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,076
to touch the people who consult him.
15
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,581
This form of healing beyond words
16
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,333
was born to me fifty years ago
17
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:27,087
in the form of initiatory massages.
18
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:31,467
Here is the first
of my initiatory massages,
19
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:34,011
mother and father of psychomagic.
20
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:46,263
When I decided
to invent an art to heal,
21
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:50,309
I jumped out of my prison,
as if out of an ivory tower,
22
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,770
and entered the pain of the world.
23
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:59,443
I used a humble set of Tarot cards
as an instrument.
24
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,030
I did not read the future
25
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,073
but the present.
26
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,411
When I began to read
the present of people,
27
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,913
the problems of family fell onto me.
28
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:16,626
There are repetitions of problems
of two, three, four, five generations.
29
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:19,629
Cancers that come up again,
names,
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00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:24,259
rapes, divorces, etc.
31
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,637
All that fell onto me.
From those family issues,
32
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:31,767
I moved on to social issues
and to cultural issues.
33
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:37,397
When people in psychoanalysis
have a problem,
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00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,941
they are told with words,
35
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,696
"We are going to look for the trauma
that provoked this infirmity."
36
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:49,659
So this person looks, speaks,
for 6 months, 10 months, 8 years,
37
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:52,245
until they figure out,
38
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:55,582
I'm in love with my mum,
for instance.
39
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,878
The trauma has not been solved.
What can I do?
40
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,799
What can I do?
I know what I have, what can I do?
41
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,510
So I have been obliged to heal,
42
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:09,471
that is, to invent psychomagic.
43
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:15,102
Dali said he wanted
to bring dreams into reality.
44
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,438
I followed the anti-surrealistic way,
the opposite.
45
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,942
I said,
everything is in the unconscious.
46
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:26,738
One can't teach the unconscious
to speak the language of reality.
47
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,032
Reason needs to be taught
48
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,160
to speak the language of dreams.
49
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,210
What is happening?
50
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:45,298
Darkness is swallowing everything.
51
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,092
It's going to eat us up.
52
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:50,387
It will pass
53
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,533
Black...
54
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:16,371
Black... Black... Black...
55
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:38,310
Now you are like it
56
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:42,230
You are part of darkness
57
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:46,359
Darkness is your kingdom
58
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,239
You are a monster of the night
59
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,451
Are you hungry?
60
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,796
Black...
61
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,925
Black... Black...
62
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,802
Black...
63
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:21,645
My mother dissolved in darkness.
64
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:25,398
I've never been afraid
of the night ever again.
65
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:44,125
This year was...
66
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,879
the most difficult year
I've had to live in my whole life.
67
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:53,093
All my symptoms
moved towards the liver.
68
00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:56,096
My father is a very...
69
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,682
toxic person.
70
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:05,272
He feeds himself off the harm
and damages he does continuously
71
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,775
to his people and mostly his family.
72
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,610
And I am the eldest.
73
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:15,323
I feel it in the deepest part
of my being, the deepest.
74
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,076
Two months ago I used...
75
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,579
heroin
76
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,999
to get me out of this state.
77
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,334
I thought
of jumping out of the window.
78
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,337
Every day I thought of killing myself.
79
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,698
That's it!
80
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:06,559
I decided to give back to the earth
81
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,770
this body of pain.
82
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,939
I sacrificed my life,
83
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:13,942
my childhood,
84
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,821
to rescue my brothers and sisters
85
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,990
from the evil
86
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,120
of my sick father.
87
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:29,082
Today I yearn to die.
88
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,536
Enough!
89
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:09,998
Enough!
90
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,354
Here is your father.
91
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:19,108
Take it and set yourself free
from your father.
92
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,926
I have less suicidal impulses.
93
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:48,471
The Parisian lifestyle
is not right for me.
94
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,142
That is a revelation, I know that.
95
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:57,397
It's been a while since...
96
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,357
I have loved someone.
97
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,278
I miss it, loving someone.
98
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,947
And it being reciprocal.
99
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,409
Even if it doesn't last.
100
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:13,621
Anyway... nothing lasts.
101
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,499
Nothing lasts...
102
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,503
It's like life.
103
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,631
There are moments,
you have to seize them.
104
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,111
My mother...
105
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,448
never loved me.
106
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:56,581
Because she doesn't have any relation
to her mother, it's complicated.
107
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,374
Because...
108
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,337
her own mother
109
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:06,466
had a child with a man she didn't love,
110
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:08,134
and that is my mother.
111
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:09,928
And until today,
112
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:13,765
I haven't been able
to communicate with my mother.
113
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,436
Nor with my father.
114
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,647
He's very locked-in.
115
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,691
He doesn't care at all for...
116
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,612
It's just superficial in fact.
117
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,447
My mother...
118
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:35,161
has always made me feel guilty
119
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,914
of the fact that I don't love her.
120
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,751
I know it's not my fault.
121
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:45,838
But nobody can blame a child for that.
122
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,800
In her head, I became an adult,
123
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,344
but I was only 18-months-old.
124
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:53,888
And so...
125
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,058
I've always...
126
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,686
had to help,
127
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:02,105
be an adult in fact.
128
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,399
Since the beginning.
129
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:09,028
I've never had any connection to her.
130
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,824
Do you picture yourself as a mother?
131
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,951
I'm a bit scared.
132
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:19,414
I don't know if I can give birth.
133
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,791
Do you love yourself?
134
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:06,867
I feel happy.
135
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,787
I feel like I love myself more.
136
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:15,084
I don't feel any hatred or anger
against...
137
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,213
my "real parents”.
138
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:21,590
I feel super at peace.
139
00:22:21,716 --> 00:22:25,678
I know that today
my life is about to change.
140
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:26,929
I know it.
141
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:20,232
I mean that the couple...
142
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:24,737
If you want to talk about the couple,
the couple is...
143
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,700
It is shaken.
144
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:32,536
I wouldn't say threatened
or endangered,
145
00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:35,539
but the couple is shaken
in an awful way.
146
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:41,796
I am in such deep anger
147
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:46,967
that I erase my memories.
148
00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,304
I have been turned into an eraser.
149
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,141
Every time I erase memories.
150
00:23:57,061 --> 00:24:01,065
I feel that I was a child...
151
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:03,401
an unwanted child.
152
00:24:03,526 --> 00:24:08,656
Because the only sentence
I remember from my mother...
153
00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:10,908
She said,
154
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:13,911
"Fortunately...
155
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:17,206
"you were born at home, not in hospital.
156
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:20,543
"Otherwise I would have said
157
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:24,088
"there was a mistake in your identity."
158
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:29,468
Amongst eight children in the family,
I was rather the person...
159
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:31,720
the punching bag.
160
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:35,558
I was beaten up all the time.
161
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:38,269
Even for nothing.
162
00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:42,106
The night comes,
you are awaken to be beaten up.
163
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:46,026
To have your breasts touched,
your body touched.
164
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:54,243
Then I came to France
at the age of seventeen.
165
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:59,248
That's when I met my father.
166
00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:02,918
I didn't feel he was somebody
who protected me
167
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:05,629
or who was happy to see me.
168
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:10,426
I never heard him say the words
"my daughter” or "my child".
169
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,387
He was violent.
170
00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:18,225
I wished all the worst
on my mother because...
171
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:25,191
she never knew how to protect me.
172
00:25:32,990 --> 00:25:38,037
I'm with a man and I'm unable
to tell him that I love him.
173
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,878
I miss an achievement in this life.
174
00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:49,256
Something that would be done, laid down,
175
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:52,885
and also something
that would allow for life...
176
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:59,099
in this world.
Life in this world.
177
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:03,395
My father died when I was 9.
So before the age of 9,
178
00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:07,233
when I was little,
I was very playful and very lively.
179
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:09,527
So...
180
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,489
Obviously, I miss my father a lot.
181
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:16,867
I have a very precise image of him.
182
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:21,163
I have a memory
of him playing with me.
183
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:31,674
I think that I feel
like I miss something.
184
00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:35,344
I miss something, I miss a lot.
185
00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:40,391
How am I to carry on?
How can I...
186
00:26:40,516 --> 00:26:42,977
How will I be able to engage...
187
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,939
with the world which is complicated,
188
00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:51,902
which is not really simple.
189
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:54,780
You need a lot of resources.
190
00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:59,243
And I feel a bit like a child.
191
00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:02,162
When I look at adults around me...
192
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:09,920
It sometimes is strange to realise...
193
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:15,426
Well, I jump from one age to another
and I find myself in another age,
194
00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:18,929
but I don't feel I am of their age.
195
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:25,644
I just feel that there are parts
196
00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:28,314
of the child...
197
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,192
That child is still here in a way.
198
00:27:32,318 --> 00:27:33,861
He's still here.
199
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:28,851
Before I somehow looked
for conciliation with my parents.
200
00:29:28,976 --> 00:29:34,148
Now I don't feel the desire anymore
for justification
201
00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:38,360
or forgiveness, or an explanation.
202
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:41,321
I don't have that desire anymore.
203
00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:44,867
My relationship to the couple
is much more...
204
00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:49,079
tense.
205
00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:52,124
It's as if we were confronted
more closely,
206
00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:56,003
ever more closely to our problem.
207
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,839
Which in my mind
is not a negative thing.
208
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:02,760
I need action, I need change,
209
00:30:02,885 --> 00:30:06,346
I need something new to move on.
210
00:30:06,472 --> 00:30:11,477
I need
to be acknowledged as a woman
211
00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,270
in the couple.
212
00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:17,399
I don't know what to do for myself,
for us two, for the couple.
213
00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:19,318
So it is as if...
214
00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:24,239
There is pain from not
knowing what to bring.
215
00:30:24,364 --> 00:30:28,494
We can carry on together
or end the relationship.
216
00:30:28,619 --> 00:30:32,122
And I must admit
that in the last few days,
217
00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:35,834
it crossed my mind
to put an end to the relationship.
218
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:05,877
Shit family!
219
00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:10,799
Fuck you! Fuck you!
220
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:23,825
No problem.
221
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:40,342
I want to give you a present.
222
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:41,718
My sex.
223
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:45,388
But I'm on my period.
224
00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:46,806
Does it bother you?
225
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,435
Blood is holy.
226
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:15,335
Menstruation
has always been rejected by men.
227
00:38:16,419 --> 00:38:19,673
Since biblical times, when Moses said
228
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:23,260
that a woman on her period
can't enter the temple.
229
00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:25,553
Blood in the vagina
230
00:38:25,679 --> 00:38:28,181
is evil, it's a sin.
231
00:38:28,974 --> 00:38:30,558
An abomination.
232
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:33,603
So I advise women
233
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:38,525
to paint their self-portrait
with their period blood.
234
00:38:39,401 --> 00:38:42,028
They don't need to know how to draw.
235
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:45,865
They need to state the creativity
of their period.
236
00:38:45,991 --> 00:38:48,702
Once they have painted their portrait,
237
00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:52,539
they should varnish it,
put it in a silvered frame
238
00:38:52,664 --> 00:38:54,541
and exhibit it in a place
239
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:57,460
where those who want to see it
will be able to.
240
00:39:52,766 --> 00:39:55,310
The book that struck me most in my life
241
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,397
is The Dance of Reality.
242
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:05,987
And since life is magical,
243
00:40:07,781 --> 00:40:11,993
it has allowed me
to meet Alejandro Jodorowsky.
244
00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:19,709
I came to see him
245
00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:23,463
to tell him about an anguish
246
00:40:25,465 --> 00:40:27,467
related to my womanhood.
247
00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:43,983
He proposed to me an act
248
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:49,239
to add something womanly to my cello.
249
00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:56,663
I was to drop my period blood
on the back of my cello for 9 months.
250
00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:59,165
This act was very strong for me.
251
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,798
The first time I dropped the blood,
252
00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:11,261
a diffused heat
spread across my stomach.
253
00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:48,798
It was truly extraordinary,
extra-ordinary, out of the ordinary.
254
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:53,595
It was very localised,
I felt an intense heat at my stomach
255
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:57,640
in front of the traces of blood
which were here.
256
00:41:57,765 --> 00:42:01,853
After 9 months I was to,
at the first concert,
257
00:42:01,978 --> 00:42:05,440
speak to the audience
and clean the back of my cello.
258
00:42:08,151 --> 00:42:09,652
This act...
259
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:40,475
This act undoubtedly allowed me
to harmonise the manly and the womanly,
260
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,436
to get out of a projection
261
00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:48,316
too tight,
too narrow of this conception.
262
00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:53,446
In the orchestra in which I play,
I have no anguish anymore
263
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:56,866
related to the fact that being a bass
264
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:58,826
is associated with the manly
265
00:42:58,952 --> 00:43:01,996
and doesn't allow me to express
my womanliness.
266
00:43:02,121 --> 00:43:04,666
I have set myself free from this anguish.
267
00:43:12,382 --> 00:43:14,509
What is the meaning of life?
268
00:43:14,634 --> 00:43:16,302
Life!
269
00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:18,763
The brain asks questions,
270
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:21,391
the heart gives answers.
271
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:25,186
Life has no meaning,
you have to live it.
272
00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:26,521
Live!
273
00:43:26,646 --> 00:43:27,981
Live!
274
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:29,482
Live!
275
00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:33,528
I was engaged to a man.
276
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:36,155
We were going to get married
8 years ago.
277
00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:39,242
But he died suddenly.
278
00:43:39,367 --> 00:43:41,035
We were at his place.
279
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:45,164
All of a sudden,
he jumped out of the window.
280
00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:47,792
I was only able to touch his foot.
281
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:50,628
I was like that, my back to it.
282
00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:53,798
I reacted and caught a part of his leg,
283
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:56,217
but then it slipped out of my hands.
284
00:43:56,342 --> 00:43:58,344
He practiced parachuting.
285
00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:01,931
He was used to throwing himself
out of a plane.
286
00:44:02,599 --> 00:44:04,392
Every time, before jumping,
287
00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:09,188
while he was up on the plane,
ready to jump, he would tell me,
288
00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:11,774
"Eveline, I love you." And he jumped.
289
00:44:11,899 --> 00:44:15,111
When he jumped out of the window,
he did the same.
290
00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:17,655
He said "I love you" and he jumped.
291
00:44:17,780 --> 00:44:21,034
Then I ran outside to find where he was.
292
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:24,579
As I could not find him,
I asked for help.
293
00:44:24,704 --> 00:44:27,373
The neighbours started to ring
294
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:30,293
in the building
which had many apartments.
295
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:33,338
The police came, the firemen, everyone.
296
00:44:33,463 --> 00:44:35,506
But he was nowhere to be seen.
297
00:44:35,632 --> 00:44:41,679
He was on the balcony
of one of the apartments of a lower floor.
298
00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:46,017
After a certain time,
they told me he was dead.
299
00:44:50,438 --> 00:44:54,776
I felt completely desperate,
I didn't know what was going on.
300
00:44:54,901 --> 00:44:59,947
And when I found out he was dead,
I panicked.
301
00:45:00,073 --> 00:45:03,284
It was a very intense pain.
302
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:07,038
Despair from...
303
00:45:08,581 --> 00:45:12,293
not knowing what had happened
or why he had done that.
304
00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:15,588
Then I started to feel guilty,
305
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:19,801
thinking that it was my fault
if he had made that decision.
306
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:27,600
The only thing I felt was a lot of pain.
I was lost.
307
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:42,323
We were very much in love.
We had plans for our life together.
308
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:46,536
We were to spend...
At the beginning, we were to live here.
309
00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:48,705
He wanted us to live in Mexico.
310
00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:53,126
We had plans to have children together.
311
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:57,422
We had plans
to do things for the future.
312
00:45:57,547 --> 00:46:01,342
And all of that suddenly vanished.
313
00:46:05,138 --> 00:46:07,682
The last hours were awful for me.
314
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:10,184
I felt really bad, I was very sad.
315
00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:14,313
I had all these feelings
316
00:46:15,356 --> 00:46:19,569
and I've always avoided
to return until...
317
00:46:20,570 --> 00:46:23,114
this opportunity presented itself.
318
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,033
- How long did you stay abroad?
- 8 years.
319
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:29,495
He died in 2010.
320
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:33,166
I didn't come back for 8 years.
321
00:46:54,103 --> 00:46:59,150
It must have been around here.
The apartment was one of those.
322
00:46:59,275 --> 00:47:01,569
With the windows open.
323
00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:04,489
It was just like that.
324
00:47:05,406 --> 00:47:09,744
When I went out, I looked for him here.
Where was he?
325
00:47:09,869 --> 00:47:13,039
I couldn't find him.
I thought it was here.
326
00:47:13,539 --> 00:47:18,336
I didn't remember the place well.
Everything was blurred in my head.
327
00:47:28,638 --> 00:47:31,557
I spent the most awful
moments of my life here.
328
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:23,831
I'm free!
329
00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:26,417
Finally, I did it.
330
00:51:32,131 --> 00:51:33,591
Let's go.
331
00:51:36,177 --> 00:51:37,845
Yes, OK.
332
00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:46,479
I felt that it was the step
I needed to make.
333
00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:47,980
Literally.
334
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:51,442
The jump I needed to take
in order to set myself free.
335
00:51:52,443 --> 00:51:57,364
It's not that I forget,
I will always remember that
336
00:51:57,490 --> 00:52:00,117
and the way things happened.
337
00:52:00,242 --> 00:52:05,706
But I don't feel
like I am carrying it as guilt,
338
00:52:05,831 --> 00:52:09,585
and something I was missing
for not having said goodbye.
339
00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:13,506
I now believe I can find something
340
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:16,884
that would really fill my spirit
and my soul
341
00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:19,762
to carry on and to...
342
00:52:20,596 --> 00:52:22,223
to be happy.
343
00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:30,648
What is your art, Alejandro?
344
00:52:30,773 --> 00:52:32,024
I write poems.
345
00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:35,027
- Do you know one by heart?
- No.
346
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:37,279
But you are a poet. Improvise!
347
00:52:42,326 --> 00:52:44,328
The being that inhabits me
348
00:52:44,453 --> 00:52:45,955
Consumes itself
349
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:48,541
Throwing flames from the dream
350
00:52:49,375 --> 00:52:51,877
I'm 46 years old.
351
00:52:52,002 --> 00:52:54,213
Since the age of 6
352
00:52:56,048 --> 00:52:58,676
I've been stuttering.
353
00:53:01,137 --> 00:53:04,306
During my teenage years,
354
00:53:04,431 --> 00:53:06,976
it was a really serious problem.
355
00:53:08,060 --> 00:53:11,772
I could not communicate with...
356
00:53:11,897 --> 00:53:13,941
with people.
357
00:53:15,109 --> 00:53:17,194
My reaction was to...
358
00:53:19,738 --> 00:53:21,282
isolate myself.
359
00:53:24,326 --> 00:53:25,911
There are days...
360
00:53:29,582 --> 00:53:30,875
when I can't...
361
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:33,210
I can't speak.
362
00:53:33,335 --> 00:53:35,921
So I don't.
363
00:53:42,970 --> 00:53:47,683
There are people
who have cast me aside.
364
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:52,563
They have pushed me aside because...
365
00:53:55,316 --> 00:53:58,110
they think it's a handicap.
366
00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:01,488
When I am
367
00:54:01,614 --> 00:54:05,117
under high pressure...
368
00:54:06,327 --> 00:54:07,870
Generally,
369
00:54:08,954 --> 00:54:11,248
I feel like I don't want to be here.
370
00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:15,419
My stomach hurts.
371
00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:20,132
Words don't come out. I can't...
372
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,261
breathe.
373
00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:32,311
I would like
374
00:54:33,312 --> 00:54:37,191
to speak with more fluidity,
375
00:54:37,316 --> 00:54:38,817
even when I am...
376
00:54:40,069 --> 00:54:41,403
under pressure.
377
00:54:42,821 --> 00:54:44,156
High pressure.
378
00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:45,699
Great pressure.
379
00:55:05,135 --> 00:55:06,971
Put your hand on your heart.
380
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:09,265
How old are you?
381
00:55:09,390 --> 00:55:12,476
Don't tell me 47,
tell me how old you are inside.
382
00:55:13,852 --> 00:55:14,937
I'm a 12-year-old.
383
00:55:15,062 --> 00:55:17,314
You have the feeling of being 12.
384
00:55:17,439 --> 00:55:19,817
We already have some truth here.
385
00:55:19,942 --> 00:55:23,028
Emotionally, you are a 12-year-old.
386
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,738
Your penis,
387
00:55:25,572 --> 00:55:28,117
is it small, medium-sized, or large?
388
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:30,953
I think it is medium-sized.
389
00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:33,580
Do you have
a strong sexual experience?
390
00:55:33,706 --> 00:55:35,791
I think that...
391
00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:40,004
I have never been someone
392
00:55:40,129 --> 00:55:43,215
who had a full sexual life.
393
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,009
Because you are a child.
394
00:55:46,552 --> 00:55:47,928
I think
395
00:55:49,096 --> 00:55:50,306
that...
396
00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:54,310
the world, for you,
397
00:55:56,145 --> 00:56:01,483
when you were small,
seemed a thing inimical of sorts.
398
00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:05,070
When I entered middle school,
399
00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:09,283
that is when I began to stutter.
400
00:56:09,408 --> 00:56:13,787
Your stuttering is a nest
in which you feel protected.
401
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,206
Remember what I am telling you now.
402
00:56:17,499 --> 00:56:19,501
I will explain to you why.
403
00:56:20,085 --> 00:56:22,421
When your father cheated on her,
404
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:25,215
your mother thought of her father.
405
00:56:25,341 --> 00:56:28,344
He loved her, protected her
and didn't despise her.
406
00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:32,639
So for your mother,
sex is no good thing.
407
00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:35,809
And you are forbidden to be a man.
408
00:56:36,935 --> 00:56:39,605
So you begin to stutter
409
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:44,568
because you want to take the place
of your stuttering grandfather.
410
00:56:44,693 --> 00:56:48,072
And immediately
your mother prefers you.
411
00:56:48,197 --> 00:56:51,950
I'm always treated as if I were...
412
00:56:52,076 --> 00:56:53,994
A child. You are a child.
413
00:56:54,953 --> 00:56:59,291
They see you as unintelligent,
as having the intelligence of a child.
414
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:02,086
They give you a complex
415
00:57:02,211 --> 00:57:04,338
that nobody loves you
416
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:07,299
for what you really are.
417
00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:11,762
The man you are is ignored.
418
00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:15,557
Many things you say have a...
419
00:57:15,682 --> 00:57:18,852
That is to say I can see them.
420
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:20,687
I can see them.
421
00:57:20,813 --> 00:57:23,023
That is to say that I...
422
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:34,368
I feel them when you say them.
423
00:57:34,493 --> 00:57:35,994
I can see them.
424
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:40,707
Yes.
425
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:43,669
And not so long ago,
426
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:46,046
it was as if I saw
427
00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:48,132
how others see me.
428
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:54,012
I feel that it has always been
with a kind of...
429
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:56,056
kind of pity.
430
00:57:59,017 --> 00:58:02,855
People are thinking
that I am either fragile
431
00:58:04,022 --> 00:58:05,649
or defenceless.
432
00:59:47,042 --> 00:59:50,045
Yesterday you set the child free.
433
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:51,922
You lived through him fully.
434
00:59:52,548 --> 00:59:55,551
You allowed the child everything.
435
00:59:56,426 --> 00:59:59,930
Now you need
to allow the adult everything.
436
01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:02,891
Set your legs apart a bit.
437
01:00:04,685 --> 01:00:06,562
I will pass along to you,
438
01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:10,691
in this spiritual center,
439
01:00:10,816 --> 01:00:12,234
in this holy center...
440
01:00:13,569 --> 01:00:16,280
I will pass manly energy along to you.
441
01:00:17,114 --> 01:00:19,575
Because I am a fatherly archetype
442
01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:24,580
who stands for the many generations
443
01:00:25,581 --> 01:00:28,625
of men from which you come.
444
01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:30,168
Yes?
445
01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:33,255
So I'm going to grab your testicles.
446
01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:45,058
That's the energy.
447
01:00:45,183 --> 01:00:47,394
Let it come.
448
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,771
That's the strength
449
01:00:49,896 --> 01:00:52,441
which centuries give you.
450
01:00:52,566 --> 01:00:54,985
That's pure energy,
451
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:56,737
strong energy,
452
01:00:56,862 --> 01:00:58,530
energy that fills you.
453
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:03,285
Put your male strength onto your face.
454
01:01:05,829 --> 01:01:08,290
Put your male strength into your mouth.
455
01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:13,003
Speak!
456
01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:18,342
Say a sentence you know by heart.
457
01:01:18,467 --> 01:01:20,552
Here I am!
458
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,179
Yes, sir.
459
01:01:27,225 --> 01:01:29,353
I accept to be an adult.
460
01:01:31,813 --> 01:01:33,815
I am a 47-year-old.
461
01:01:36,109 --> 01:01:37,944
I can speak very well!
462
01:01:41,823 --> 01:01:43,075
Very well!
463
01:01:50,415 --> 01:01:53,460
Recite the two times table.
Two times two is four...
464
01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:56,254
Two times one is two,
two times two is four...
465
01:01:56,380 --> 01:01:57,422
Louder.
466
01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,257
Two times one is two...
467
01:02:17,693 --> 01:02:19,277
You are healed.
468
01:05:16,872 --> 01:05:19,374
One life is not enough.
469
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:22,878
And it's necessary to know all lives.
470
01:05:23,003 --> 01:05:26,506
I like bread, I bite into it.
471
01:05:26,631 --> 01:05:29,134
And then I see the wheat.
472
01:05:29,885 --> 01:05:32,387
The precocious wheat fields.
473
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:35,056
The green form of spring.
474
01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:37,767
I walk, I swim.
475
01:05:37,893 --> 01:05:39,644
I sail up until I find it.
476
01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:43,231
You live, you go and go
from one side to the other.
477
01:05:43,356 --> 01:05:46,902
Even if you don't know, I do know.
478
01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:51,448
And here is the word.
479
01:05:51,573 --> 01:05:53,283
Don't suffer.
480
01:05:53,867 --> 01:05:58,079
The lines have hidden with colour
the thread of the fabric.
481
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:02,542
I erase the colours and look
until I find the deepest fabric.
482
01:06:02,667 --> 01:06:05,587
When everything is set, I write.
483
01:06:05,712 --> 01:06:07,714
With your life and with mine.
484
01:06:07,839 --> 01:06:10,926
So that you know who I am
and how much I make.
485
01:06:13,553 --> 01:06:15,013
Let me embrace you.
486
01:06:17,557 --> 01:06:20,268
I am a 47-year-old
487
01:06:20,393 --> 01:06:22,062
and I am a man.
488
01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:24,397
Thank you so much.
489
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,120
I missed many possibilities,
490
01:06:39,245 --> 01:06:43,124
things to do for me and for others.
491
01:06:44,084 --> 01:06:46,252
Well... things are that way.
492
01:06:46,378 --> 01:06:49,214
But I can't come to terms with it.
493
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:52,092
It makes me angry
494
01:06:52,217 --> 01:06:55,929
to reach my age and say "I failed".
495
01:06:57,222 --> 01:07:00,308
I always have the option
of taking pills,
496
01:07:00,433 --> 01:07:01,893
super-dosed.
497
01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:05,313
At that point I sleep
and there are no more problems.
498
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:08,858
That's what I am most afraid of.
499
01:07:08,984 --> 01:07:13,363
Not being resistant enough not to do it.
500
01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:15,031
I failed...
501
01:07:17,909 --> 01:07:23,707
I failed my union with my husband
whom I didn't love.
502
01:07:23,832 --> 01:07:27,293
But instead I married him anyhow.
503
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:29,754
He was not the right one.
504
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:33,258
But since he was leaving for Africa,
505
01:07:34,259 --> 01:07:38,805
I married him so that I could leave.
506
01:07:38,930 --> 01:07:42,267
I told myself if I stay here,
507
01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:44,519
my life is all lined-up.
508
01:07:44,644 --> 01:07:48,398
I will be introduced to a good boy,
509
01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:51,776
I'm going to get married,
have children,
510
01:07:51,901 --> 01:07:54,404
and that will be it.
511
01:07:54,529 --> 01:07:58,450
So I disappoint myself.
512
01:07:59,659 --> 01:08:02,037
My life was...
513
01:08:02,162 --> 01:08:07,208
In the evening, hosting a party.
I mean having friends around.
514
01:08:07,333 --> 01:08:11,838
In the afternoon, going to the beach
and playing volleyball,
515
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,882
and bathing in the Wouri,
516
01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:16,926
which is a large river across Cameroon.
517
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,679
And then...
518
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:22,891
that's all.
519
01:08:23,016 --> 01:08:26,144
That's not much because...
520
01:08:27,145 --> 01:08:29,022
I dreamt of having
521
01:08:30,023 --> 01:08:32,067
an interesting life.
522
01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:36,196
From the outside, it seems interesting.
523
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:38,490
When I would come back to France,
524
01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:42,202
I would see that my friends
had not moved on.
525
01:08:42,327 --> 01:08:46,372
They had one more child,
but they had not moved.
526
01:08:47,415 --> 01:08:49,918
At least I have suffered.
527
01:08:50,043 --> 01:08:52,087
I moved a bit.
528
01:08:53,004 --> 01:08:56,758
But I don't even know
if that's the right thing to say.
529
01:08:56,883 --> 01:09:03,765
So I have to content myself
with having a beautiful apartment...
530
01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:08,645
with doing things
and reading good books, but...
531
01:09:10,313 --> 01:09:11,856
That's not fair!
532
01:09:12,607 --> 01:09:14,984
That's not fair!
533
01:09:15,110 --> 01:09:18,321
I don't care about the world,
about the migrants.
534
01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:20,824
I don't care about those people.
535
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:24,077
I couldn't care less.
536
01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:28,248
Let them die!
They'd be better staying home.
537
01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:32,127
You see all the awful words
that come to my mind?
538
01:09:36,131 --> 01:09:38,133
I'm tired.
539
01:09:38,258 --> 01:09:40,844
Alejandro, I'm tired.
540
01:09:40,969 --> 01:09:45,890
I'm tired of living
and being like that, while...
541
01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:50,812
If you look at my life,
everything's great.
542
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:55,984
My children love me very much,
they are very nice.
543
01:09:59,028 --> 01:10:01,156
But that's not it.
544
01:10:01,990 --> 01:10:06,035
I would need to be able
to do something really bad, you see?
545
01:10:07,996 --> 01:10:13,168
That's what I need, to kill someone
or do something like that.
546
01:10:13,293 --> 01:10:15,211
Because then...
547
01:10:15,336 --> 01:10:17,672
I would see that I exist.
548
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:23,178
You see how I am performing?
549
01:10:23,303 --> 01:10:26,222
I may cry a bit like that,
550
01:10:27,140 --> 01:10:29,517
but I am still performing.
551
01:10:29,642 --> 01:10:31,978
I'm not that unhappy.
552
01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:33,938
Not at all.
553
01:10:38,776 --> 01:10:41,321
Put your ear to my heart.
554
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:44,115
Put it, come, come...
555
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:47,994
Here we are.
556
01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:49,787
Breathe quietly.
557
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,875
Don't feel lonely.
558
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:58,630
You deserve companionship
559
01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:02,425
and to be taken away
from this depression.
560
01:11:04,302 --> 01:11:05,887
Barbara...
561
01:11:07,430 --> 01:11:12,435
You said you had a little girl
of 4 or 5 years in you, yes?
562
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,813
Let her come, let your little girl come.
563
01:11:16,522 --> 01:11:19,025
You're a little girl, aren't you?
564
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:22,862
That's it, I didn't grow up,
I remained a little girl.
565
01:11:22,987 --> 01:11:24,155
Yes, accept it.
566
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:25,823
It's ridiculous.
567
01:11:25,949 --> 01:11:29,410
No, it's not ridiculous, it's human.
568
01:11:29,535 --> 01:11:32,747
Nothing that is human is ridiculous.
569
01:11:32,872 --> 01:11:35,250
Come here, come.
570
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:38,044
Here you are, come here with me.
571
01:11:41,089 --> 01:11:44,842
It's rather, Alejandro,
that I don't feel like...
572
01:11:44,968 --> 01:11:48,471
I don't feel like making any effort.
573
01:11:48,596 --> 01:11:53,184
It's not an effort.
What you're doing now is not an effort.
574
01:11:53,309 --> 01:11:56,521
No one is asking you
to make an effort.
575
01:11:57,146 --> 01:11:58,189
Listen...
576
01:11:58,314 --> 01:12:01,192
It's I who ask myself to make efforts.
577
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,778
But you know you aren't on your own.
578
01:12:03,903 --> 01:12:07,407
If you suffer, I suffer.
579
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:11,703
If you are sick, I am sick.
580
01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:15,623
If you are depressed, I am depressed.
581
01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:20,461
Because every human being
is a part of the other human beings.
582
01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:23,172
- Do you understand?
- Yes, I hear you.
583
01:12:23,298 --> 01:12:24,924
You belong to humankind.
584
01:12:25,049 --> 01:12:28,344
I'm going to tell you
that I don't care about others!
585
01:12:30,054 --> 01:12:32,682
I couldn't care less about others.
586
01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:36,019
Who are the others?
587
01:12:36,144 --> 01:12:41,316
Because it's the will of the galaxy.
It's not the human race.
588
01:12:41,441 --> 01:12:44,694
What is the human race? It's a will.
589
01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:49,490
A will of the universe
that consciousness exists.
590
01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:52,660
And you are a priestess
of consciousness.
591
01:12:52,785 --> 01:12:57,081
You are creating consciousness
in all the persons you have treated.
592
01:12:57,832 --> 01:13:01,210
- That's what you are.
- I'm not sure of that.
593
01:13:01,336 --> 01:13:04,589
You are going to have
to gain self-assurance back.
594
01:13:06,591 --> 01:13:09,761
I'm going to give you
an act of psychomagic.
595
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:14,557
It won't address your consciousness
but your unconscious.
596
01:13:14,682 --> 01:13:16,601
Yes, Alejandro.
597
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:18,728
- You want tap water?
- Yes.
598
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:21,814
Don't drink it, it's to be given away.
599
01:13:21,939 --> 01:13:25,943
- Go and fill it. I'm waiting here.
- Okay.
600
01:13:26,069 --> 01:13:27,528
Here we are.
601
01:13:40,875 --> 01:13:43,795
I don't remember why we're doing this.
602
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,838
I'm going to explain it to you.
603
01:13:47,507 --> 01:13:51,094
In order to get out of
the condition you're in
604
01:13:51,219 --> 01:13:55,014
and in order to be the master you are,
because that's what you are,
605
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:58,476
you're going to have to start giving.
606
01:13:58,601 --> 01:14:03,272
But what are you going to give
if you don't have an ally?
607
01:14:03,398 --> 01:14:05,149
A powerful ally.
608
01:14:05,274 --> 01:14:07,652
So I'm going to give you your ally.
609
01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:11,114
I don't know
whether it's a man or a woman.
610
01:14:11,239 --> 01:14:13,491
But it's here, waiting for you.
611
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:18,121
The date has been set
at the Jardin des Plantes.
612
01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:21,249
- One street away from here.
- I go there often.
613
01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:26,045
We're going to walk slowly
and bring this as an offering.
614
01:14:26,170 --> 01:14:27,213
Okay.
615
01:14:27,338 --> 01:14:32,593
And every day, you will repeat
your offering for 21 days.
616
01:14:32,718 --> 01:14:35,138
And every day you'll get better.
617
01:14:37,974 --> 01:14:40,935
You are going to help humankind.
618
01:14:41,769 --> 01:14:44,397
Even if you don't care about it now.
619
01:14:44,522 --> 01:14:48,526
- Then you will understand everything.
- I don't understand.
620
01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:51,362
So let your unconscious understand.
621
01:14:51,487 --> 01:14:54,532
I'm not giving
a philosophical speech.
622
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:58,703
I'm to perform an act of psychomagic
to speak to the unconscious.
623
01:14:58,828 --> 01:15:00,455
Not with words.
624
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:04,459
Psychoanalysis uses words.
625
01:15:04,584 --> 01:15:06,878
Psychomagic uses acts.
626
01:15:07,003 --> 01:15:09,255
We're going to perform
a psychomagic act.
627
01:15:09,380 --> 01:15:10,882
Let's go.
628
01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:29,108
Alejandro...
629
01:15:30,860 --> 01:15:32,653
I doubt.
630
01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:35,531
I doubt that what we're doing is right.
631
01:16:06,437 --> 01:16:07,605
Look at this.
632
01:16:10,358 --> 01:16:12,527
It's at least 300-years-old.
633
01:16:15,947 --> 01:16:17,615
Look at the roots.
634
01:16:18,241 --> 01:16:19,909
Come and see.
635
01:16:29,627 --> 01:16:33,965
At first I'm afraid,
I'm afraid of your big roots.
636
01:16:34,090 --> 01:16:37,343
I'm afraid that you... that you...
637
01:16:38,844 --> 01:16:40,930
that you hold me too tightly.
638
01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:43,432
I'm afraid.
639
01:16:43,558 --> 01:16:47,979
But when I look up, it's fine.
I see how beautiful you are.
640
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:51,816
I have resisted for centuries,
you can resist.
641
01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:58,614
Look high above, this is your friend.
642
01:17:00,408 --> 01:17:01,867
Carry on.
643
01:17:18,134 --> 01:17:19,885
You gave. You know...
644
01:17:20,761 --> 01:17:23,431
This tree is centuries old.
645
01:17:23,556 --> 01:17:27,059
And you are a part of the tree
because you fed it.
646
01:17:27,184 --> 01:17:29,937
Even a minimum, even almost nothing.
647
01:17:30,062 --> 01:17:33,190
Even a small bottle of water.
You feed it.
648
01:17:33,316 --> 01:17:35,151
Therefore now,
649
01:17:35,276 --> 01:17:38,571
it's a part of you.
Look at how powerful you are.
650
01:17:38,696 --> 01:17:41,198
Every day you come to give it water.
651
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:43,743
It's your protector.
652
01:17:43,868 --> 01:17:46,287
And it's a part of you.
653
01:17:48,456 --> 01:17:49,915
Let's go.
654
01:18:49,392 --> 01:18:51,185
My father...
655
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,229
by giving me nothing
656
01:18:53,354 --> 01:18:55,147
you gave me everything.
657
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:56,607
By not loving me,
658
01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:59,735
you taught me
the absolute necessity of love.
659
01:19:27,805 --> 01:19:32,893
I really felt that I had
identified very strongly
660
01:19:33,018 --> 01:19:35,271
with my mother.
661
01:19:35,396 --> 01:19:38,858
And with the sadness of my mother.
662
01:19:40,443 --> 01:19:43,779
The disappointment she felt
663
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:47,324
in her love story with my father.
664
01:19:47,450 --> 01:19:49,702
She loved my father a lot.
665
01:19:49,827 --> 01:19:53,748
My father was the image of something
666
01:19:53,873 --> 01:19:57,418
of a great inventiveness...
667
01:19:57,543 --> 01:20:00,004
of life.
668
01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:06,635
Of laughing, making life truly poetic,
of making life truly lively.
669
01:20:06,761 --> 01:20:11,056
So she adored him but at the same time,
he was very immature.
670
01:20:11,182 --> 01:20:14,769
And it was stronger than him,
he couldn't help
671
01:20:14,894 --> 01:20:17,772
but cheat on her a lot.
672
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:21,609
Even though he was mad at himself.
673
01:20:21,734 --> 01:20:23,402
He deeply loved my mother
674
01:20:23,527 --> 01:20:27,615
but he couldn't help going everywhere
to see what there was to do.
675
01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:30,117
And so...
676
01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:44,048
So I told myself
677
01:20:45,132 --> 01:20:48,886
I don't want to be like him,
I want to be faithful to my mother.
678
01:20:50,387 --> 01:20:53,724
And being too faithful to my mother,
679
01:20:53,849 --> 01:20:57,812
I cut myself off from a part of me.
680
01:20:57,937 --> 01:21:00,606
I censored myself.
681
01:21:03,943 --> 01:21:07,404
I went to my father, I proposed a song.
682
01:21:07,530 --> 01:21:10,366
At the beginning, it was really bad.
683
01:21:10,491 --> 01:21:12,493
At the beginning, we were...
684
01:21:12,618 --> 01:21:14,662
"What is this music?"
685
01:21:14,787 --> 01:21:18,457
I was so hurt by what he said...
686
01:21:20,417 --> 01:21:24,797
I yelled at him like crazy
for a very long time.
687
01:21:24,922 --> 01:21:29,510
And my father had
the magnificent courage
688
01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:34,223
to take in
all his son's anger like this...
689
01:21:35,558 --> 01:21:37,726
to accept it, to absorb it.
690
01:21:40,145 --> 01:21:43,899
Then I wrote another song
to sing with him.
691
01:21:45,109 --> 01:21:49,280
And this song really changed
everything between us.
692
01:21:50,990 --> 01:21:54,577
In the song I tell him
that he can go wherever he wants
693
01:21:54,702 --> 01:21:57,830
and that we will get together anyhow.
694
01:21:59,498 --> 01:22:05,754
In fact I need...
My father was full of light.
695
01:22:05,880 --> 01:22:10,050
He was flamboyant, like Gérard Philipe.
He had panache.
696
01:22:12,553 --> 01:22:15,222
So I would like to put on this costume.
697
01:22:19,101 --> 01:22:21,186
For me, it symbolises him.
698
01:22:21,312 --> 01:22:23,856
It's golden and beautiful.
699
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:35,534
Look how [ am
700
01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,331
Look how [ live
701
01:22:41,874 --> 01:22:44,835
See my children
702
01:22:46,378 --> 01:22:49,340
Laugh and run
703
01:22:55,471 --> 01:22:58,223
I've travelled so much
704
01:23:00,434 --> 01:23:03,062
Enjoyed losing myself
705
01:23:04,188 --> 01:23:07,107
Seen so many countries
706
01:23:08,484 --> 01:23:11,737
So many women too
707
01:23:18,202 --> 01:23:20,704
Go wherever you want
708
01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:26,835
I'm not waiting for you
709
01:23:32,591 --> 01:23:35,886
People who love each other
710
01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:40,015
Often part ways
711
01:23:41,266 --> 01:23:44,144
You need time
712
01:23:45,104 --> 01:23:48,649
To get together again
713
01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:10,587
Take care of yourself
714
01:24:11,797 --> 01:24:14,842
I am always here
715
01:24:16,552 --> 01:24:19,763
The journey is short
716
01:24:21,807 --> 01:24:24,810
Go as far
717
01:24:26,145 --> 01:24:29,440
As far as you can
718
01:24:31,775 --> 01:24:33,819
Such is the destiny
719
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:37,656
Of the traveller
720
01:24:41,660 --> 01:24:44,830
My door is open to you
721
01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:48,959
The night is so cold
722
01:24:53,088 --> 01:24:55,799
Come close to me
723
01:24:56,633 --> 01:24:59,261
Come to peace
724
01:24:59,386 --> 01:25:02,639
I am looking for the light
725
01:25:02,765 --> 01:25:06,060
I like its heat
726
01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:12,441
Thank you, my boy
727
01:25:12,566 --> 01:25:15,569
But I already feel
728
01:25:15,694 --> 01:25:18,655
That the road is calling me
729
01:25:19,573 --> 01:25:22,743
Such is the destiny of the traveller
730
01:25:35,130 --> 01:25:38,634
Such is the destiny of the traveller
731
01:25:42,054 --> 01:25:45,182
Go wherever you want
732
01:25:45,307 --> 01:25:48,769
I am not waiting for you
733
01:25:53,524 --> 01:25:56,527
People who love each other
734
01:25:56,652 --> 01:25:59,488
Often part ways
735
01:26:00,197 --> 01:26:02,991
You need time
736
01:26:03,117 --> 01:26:06,620
To get together again
737
01:29:25,152 --> 01:29:28,238
I like fools
738
01:29:28,363 --> 01:29:31,325
I like hats
739
01:29:31,950 --> 01:29:34,328
I like boxers
740
01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:37,956
I like heat
741
01:29:38,081 --> 01:29:39,916
I like
742
01:29:41,335 --> 01:29:43,003
I like
743
01:29:44,796 --> 01:29:47,799
I like cars
744
01:29:47,924 --> 01:29:50,302
I like Arthurs
745
01:29:51,428 --> 01:29:54,097
I like tall women
746
01:29:54,598 --> 01:29:57,309
I like airports
747
01:30:04,274 --> 01:30:07,402
I like your colours
748
01:30:07,527 --> 01:30:10,781
I like your pale skin
749
01:30:10,906 --> 01:30:14,326
I like misty mornings
750
01:30:14,451 --> 01:30:16,828
The Sun and the Moon
751
01:30:23,752 --> 01:30:26,838
I like an icy patch
752
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:30,175
I like irises
753
01:30:30,300 --> 01:30:33,136
I like highways
754
01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:51,988
I feel...
755
01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:56,368
It's really...
756
01:30:56,493 --> 01:30:59,579
something very very old that got out.
757
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:05,043
And I feel light.
758
01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:09,923
I feel very light, I'm a new man.
759
01:31:18,223 --> 01:31:20,809
Oh, yeah.
760
01:31:39,411 --> 01:31:43,707
Let's see if all of us, together,
we can heal someone.
761
01:31:45,125 --> 01:31:47,919
We're going to try,
without promising anything,
762
01:31:48,044 --> 01:31:50,422
we're going to try to heal that person.
763
01:32:03,518 --> 01:32:05,979
This year, in April,
764
01:32:06,104 --> 01:32:09,649
I had surgery for a tumour in the larynx.
765
01:32:09,774 --> 01:32:12,152
But this cancer
766
01:32:12,277 --> 01:32:16,114
started when my daughter
was ten months old.
767
01:32:16,239 --> 01:32:19,659
Today she's twenty years old.
768
01:32:21,203 --> 01:32:23,246
It was a thyroid cancer.
769
01:32:23,371 --> 01:32:24,498
Then...
770
01:32:24,623 --> 01:32:27,083
a thorax sarcoma.
771
01:32:28,084 --> 01:32:30,253
Remember that it never ends.
772
01:32:30,378 --> 01:32:33,089
We're going to try to cure this person.
773
01:32:33,215 --> 01:32:35,759
We're going to open our arms.
774
01:32:35,884 --> 01:32:39,471
You, as healers, you are going to put
775
01:32:39,596 --> 01:32:42,098
all your energy
776
01:32:42,224 --> 01:32:44,935
towards her throat to heal her.
777
01:32:45,769 --> 01:32:48,730
She's going to feel
she's taken care of.
778
01:33:56,339 --> 01:33:59,009
The experience at Caupolican Theatre...
779
01:34:02,429 --> 01:34:04,431
was very important.
780
01:34:07,058 --> 01:34:08,810
It opened a door
781
01:34:10,186 --> 01:34:12,105
towards my healing.
782
01:34:12,230 --> 01:34:17,235
I was coming out of a very long,
very aggressive treatment.
783
01:34:19,654 --> 01:34:24,242
But when I found myself on stage
with Don Alejandro
784
01:34:26,119 --> 01:34:28,997
and felt that all the people,
785
01:34:29,789 --> 01:34:32,876
with their hands held toward me,
786
01:34:33,001 --> 01:34:35,045
were giving me energy,
787
01:34:36,129 --> 01:34:40,508
it was very powerful, very strong,
very healing.
788
01:34:41,885 --> 01:34:43,928
As time went by,
789
01:34:45,055 --> 01:34:46,973
I felt...
790
01:34:47,098 --> 01:34:49,267
After the theatre,
791
01:34:49,392 --> 01:34:51,186
during the following days,
792
01:34:51,311 --> 01:34:53,897
I felt a lot of energy in me.
793
01:34:56,149 --> 01:34:57,859
I felt joyful.
794
01:34:59,486 --> 01:35:01,279
I laughed about everything.
795
01:35:01,404 --> 01:35:05,617
Something I had lost, the urge to laugh,
796
01:35:05,742 --> 01:35:09,287
with such aggressive treatments.
797
01:35:09,746 --> 01:35:13,500
An immense door opened
798
01:35:14,250 --> 01:35:15,835
towards a healing
799
01:35:15,960 --> 01:35:18,963
which goes beyond what doctors say.
800
01:35:19,506 --> 01:35:23,009
I understood that healing exists,
801
01:35:23,134 --> 01:35:26,346
and I understood that healing comes
802
01:35:26,471 --> 01:35:28,181
from inside.
803
01:38:42,792 --> 01:38:45,670
You are in the country of the North
804
01:38:45,795 --> 01:38:48,298
Sanctified be your new order
805
01:38:51,092 --> 01:38:54,679
Psychomagic against violence!
806
01:39:25,919 --> 01:39:30,006
I don't know
what's happening with the flowers
807
01:39:30,131 --> 01:39:31,591
Mourner
808
01:39:31,716 --> 01:39:33,301
The flowers
809
01:39:33,426 --> 01:39:35,845
Of the cemetery
810
01:39:37,347 --> 01:39:41,100
I don't know
what's happening with the flowers
811
01:39:41,225 --> 01:39:42,644
Mourner
812
01:39:42,769 --> 01:39:44,270
The flowers
813
01:39:44,771 --> 01:39:47,357
Of the cemetery
814
01:39:48,274 --> 01:39:51,861
For when the wind cradles them
815
01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:53,154
Mourner
816
01:39:53,821 --> 01:39:57,575
They look like they are mourning
817
01:39:59,202 --> 01:40:02,747
For when the wind cradles them
818
01:40:02,872 --> 01:40:04,290
Mourner
819
01:40:04,415 --> 01:40:08,294
They look like they are mourning
820
01:40:09,963 --> 01:40:13,591
Poor me, Mourner
821
01:40:14,968 --> 01:40:19,847
Mourner, you are my little girl
822
01:40:21,849 --> 01:40:24,811
Poor me, Mourner
823
01:40:25,478 --> 01:40:29,148
Mourner, you are my little girl
824
01:40:29,899 --> 01:40:32,068
They are not black sheep.
825
01:40:32,193 --> 01:40:36,864
We must have pity for these souls gone.
826
01:40:36,990 --> 01:40:40,159
We shall sing this song
with much sadness,
827
01:40:40,284 --> 01:40:43,830
as if we were the mothers
of these people.
828
01:41:19,490 --> 01:41:21,284
Long live Mexico!
829
01:41:22,452 --> 01:41:25,121
Long live the change of consciousness!
830
01:41:26,122 --> 01:41:28,041
Long live life!
831
01:41:28,833 --> 01:41:29,959
Joy!
55044