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Hey.
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What happened to the movers?I thought
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they were helping you. Easy, easy, easy,
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easy. Okay, okay, okayOh, are you kidding?
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I wouldn't let them touch my sculpture.
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Besides, they're afraid of it.
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Movers don't appreciate good art, Nick. I
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am really messing your place up here. Are
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you sure you don't mind me moving, Ed?I
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mean, it just feels kind of weird,
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imposing and all. Oh, come on! You're my
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little brother. It'll be good for both of
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us. You needed a place to stay and I
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needed... a big knick-knack for the
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kitchen. So, uh,
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Louie, what do you think, huh, bud?
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I think you need professional help, Nick.
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Hey, hey, hey, heyHow's school today, huh
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The usual. I was humiliated by the kids
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above me on the advertising return. Some
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of them guys. I got into two
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fights, my book guide was stolen, and Bob
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asked me how I'd feel if we spent a lot
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more time together. Oh, hey, hey, heyYou
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know, we had to get a lot like Bob when I
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went to school, too.
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Bob is Louis's teacher. We're dating.
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Oh, wait. You date my teacher?Are
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you sure you want Lewis to hang around
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that kind of element?Listen, can we
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talk about this later?Lewis, why don't
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you go study in your room?You're not
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going to talk about this later. We're
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going to talk about this now.
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Lewis has not had the best of experiences
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with the men in my life, largely because
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I have not had the best of experiences
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with the men in my life. It's going well
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between him, Bob, you know?Don't rock the
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boat. Keep it to myself, all right?
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A teacher?There's nothing wrong with
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teaching, Nick. It's a job.
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That's why you don't like it.
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Hey, you know, I've been given some very
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serious thought to getting a job. Really?
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That's great. Doing what?I'm talking
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part-time talk here while I worked on my
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art. Or maybe right here in the East
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Village. Maybe in a
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creative environment. Maybe in your
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bookstore. Impossible.
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You'd never get along with a partner with
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Rachel. Why not?She's an intellectual.
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She's from a wealthy family. She eats
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with utensils.
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Please. All right,
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I'll set up an interview. But I'm telling
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you, Rachel is very picky about who works
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in the bookstore. Believe me, she'll find
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some little reason why you don't fit in.
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Like what?You don't read.
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She is picky.
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Oh, my God. Rachel, you must feel
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terrible. Oh, no, noLet me tell him to
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come back later. Oh, no, no, no, noI'm
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all right. I'm not letting this get to
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me. I mean, uh, breaking up with Brad
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is... Just another experience, right?And
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you know me, I absolutely crave
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experience. I want to experience
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pleasure. I want to experience
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pain. But I want it to be
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Brad's pain.
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Anger is a natural reaction. No, No
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noAnger is a tempered response. A
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heavy, blunt object is a natural
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reaction. So, which one
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is next?Over there in the children's
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section?The one tying the laces in the
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Doomy book?
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Oh, my God, he's beautiful.
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See?What a
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cruel joke of nature.
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Hey, uh, Marlene, uh, you seen this new
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edition?Check it out. They had a Velcro.
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He still takes pleasure in the simplest
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things. That can work.
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Ah, Nick. This is Rachel
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Phillips. Rachel, this is Nick Moore.
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I'm pleased to meet you, Nick. Hey.
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Hey, Rachel.
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Hey, Rachel Phillips.
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Good.
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Ohh Listen, Rachel, while you're
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interviewing me, why don't I order the
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hors d'oeuvres for tomorrow's book sign?
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That is a great idea. Now, remember, it
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is a book on coping with depression, so
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don't get anything too sharp.
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Really, well, why don't
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we, uh, take a seat and talk about the
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job?Right
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here.
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Oh, Nick, do I understand that you're an
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artist?
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I don't know. Do
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you?It It doesn't really matter.
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Well, let's see. What I need to do is ask
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you a few questions, okay?Your
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age. Uh, 24.
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Is that good?Oh, yes, that's very good.
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Uh, college?Uh,
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no. How about a junior college?Uh,
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sorry. Alrighty,
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um, do you ever go to poetry readings?
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Do you ever go to plays other than Neil
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Simon?
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Um, French films?Italian films?
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Industrial films?
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How can two people have a relationship
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based on nothing but a physical
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attraction?Uh, can I have a
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minute on that?
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Oh. Oops.
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I am so sorry. I don't know
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why I just said that. It's totally
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unrelated.
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Well...
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Actually, I just did break up with
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someone today, and I guess it's sort of
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spelling over. I don't apologize. I
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understand. You know, that sort of
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thing's hard to go through. Yeah. You
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know, painful. Very sensitive. So
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why'd he dump you?You didn't
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dump me. I just keep getting into these
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relationships that are entirely
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cerebral. Have you ever done that?Of
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course not. Nick,
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listen. I would really
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love to hire you. But,
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um, you are the antithesis of a person
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who should work in a bookstore. You are
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the... The anti-clerk, so to speak.
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You are completely, totally, and
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unequivocally wrong for the job.
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So when can you start?
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Oh, Louise.
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What do you think, huhAm I a great
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babysitter or what?Well, I've
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never watched TV outside before. Oh,
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wait, you got to loosen up. This is life.
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You should enjoy being outside, communing
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with nature. Nick, we are outside in New
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York. We could be communing with snipers.
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Hey, what about time you started calling
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me Uncle Nick?I can't. Well, I mean,
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you're not really like an uncle. You're
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more like a stranger.
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Hey, look, wait. You know,
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I know I was gone for a long time, but I
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do what I could to keep in touch. I sent
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you postcards, right?Bet you didn't write
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anything on them.
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There were things that I had to do, you
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know?I had to grow up, I had to see the
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world. You can't hang around forever.
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Things change, you know?I don't like it
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when things change. I'll have them just
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the way they are. Me and my mom, and
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the TV in the living room.
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Hey, where is everybody?Uh, we're out
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here. Hi, guys.
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Uh-huhHi, Bob. Bob, this is
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my brother, Nick. Hey, Nick, nice to meet
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you. Same. Listen, why don't you take Bob
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inside and show him some of your artwork?
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There's something I need to talk to Louis
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about. Okay. So, you're a
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teacher, huhRight. Who do you want to be?
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Honey, Bob sprang
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something very unexpected on me tonight.
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A pop quiz?I hate it when he does that.
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No, sweetheart, more serious than a pop
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quiz. Bob's asked me to become
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engaged. He wants to marry me.
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Isn't that terrific?Hey, congratulations.
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That's great. Ooh, I knew you'd be
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happy. Listen, let's go inside and
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we'll tell Uncle Nick and then we'll
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celebrate. Hey, Nick!
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Look, I'm okay! Oh, hey,
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congratulations! Alrighty,
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congratulations! Hey, isn't this
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great?
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Do you mind if there are other depressed
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people here?
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Oh, eh, look at this growl. It's great.
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No, we're not. We're worthless.
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Did you get all the depressing books off
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the shelves?Uh, yeah, I think so. Uh,
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Hamlet, Head of the Salesman,
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Elephant Man. Bambi.
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Tears me apart. Of
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course. Uh, hey, uh, Rachel, uh,
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any good children's books?You know,
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something Louis would like?Well, we have
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Dr. Seuss. Uh, no.
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I don't think he's into medical stuff.
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Uh-huhWell, what kind of book did you
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have in mind, exactly?Uh, well, I was
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thinking maybe something off me, you
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know, kind of lift them up a little. You
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know what?Why don't you just take the
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whole thing, okay?
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OkayYou know, the poor little guy seems
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kind of down lately. Poor boy.
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Why?Uh, I'm
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not too sure. You know much about kids?
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No, all my friends are into wines.
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You know, it really seemed to start when
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Marlene announced the engagement. Yeah.
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And he started... Hold that thought.
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I remind books. Could you hold
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on just one second, please?Excuse me.
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Excuse me. I'm sorry, but if you're gonna
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climb the ladder, I'll have to take your
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tie.
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Hello?Yes, I'm sorry.
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No, I'm sorry. Marlene isn't here right
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now. Can I take a med...
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Oh, no. I'll tell her as soon as she
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gets back. Oh, no, no thank you.
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Louis is in trouble at school. They want
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Marlene to come down right away. You
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know, maybe you should go. Ohh No, no, no
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I don't think Marlene would want that. I
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mean, besides, Louis is a pretty good
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kid. How bad could the bubble be?They
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said he's chained to his desk.
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It's got potential. Look,
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Louis, look who's here. Did you say hello
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to your uncle?Louis is protesting
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the grade on his social studies exam. He
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was studying Gandhi.
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Louis, what was the grade?A D. And
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you're protesting?
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I want my mom.
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Lewis, has this got anything to do
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with your mom, Mary and Bob?
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Nick, can I see your man?
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Look, we have to tread very carefully.
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Lewis is an A student, and he's
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overreacting to a bad grade. Yeah, I did
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that once. Except I chained my teacher to
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the desk.
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We don't want to aggravate the situation.
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Just let me try. Nick, I'm a teacher. I
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have 17 years in the New York schools. If
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I can't get them to give me the key, how
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can you?Watch.
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Louie, where's the key?
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I'm not telling you. Hey. Hey, wait a
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minute. Wait a
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minute. What are you doing?Louis, you got
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00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,360
20 feet to the stairwell. Sure, buy it!
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00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,320
Louis, are you all right?What's going on
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00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,400
here?Why are you chained to a desk?So
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they got a deal. Isn't this a
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little severe?
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00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,640
I had nothing to do with it. If I asked
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00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,400
anybody, he did it to himself. Is this
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00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,760
true?Yes. Come
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00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,360
on. You're grounded. Forever. Hey,
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00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,400
hey, hey, heyIsn't that a little rough?I
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00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,880
mean, it's not like he hurt anybody.
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00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,600
That's not the point. Don't stick your
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00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,160
nose in this. Excuse me, can I say
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00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,960
something here?Maybe you three
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00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,920
should talk about this alone. I'll be the
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00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:19,280
other side.
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00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,440
Why did you do it?Hey, Hey what is the
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00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,000
big deal, huhSo he chained himself to the
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00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,080
desk. I did a lot of worse things, and
285
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,080
look how I turned out.
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00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000
I'm accusing Lewis, and the answer is
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00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,920
right in front of me. It's you, Nick.
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00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,560
You're a bad influence. I... I
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00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,040
was only trying to help. HelpLook
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00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,000
what happened. Lewis has never done
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00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,760
anything like this in his life before you
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00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,200
showed up. Why, you think it's my fault?
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00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,520
You give me a better explanation.
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00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:00,940
I can't.
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00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,000
You want a bedtime story?
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00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:16,720
Sit up, I'll
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00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,960
tell you one. This is, uh.. It'll
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00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,280
be one of them stories that don't mean
299
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,280
what you think it means, but it's got a
300
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,160
lesson. Oh, a feba lamor.
301
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:31,680
Okay.
302
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,920
Once upon a time, there was this kid
303
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,520
who had an uncle, but he wouldn't call
304
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,200
him his uncle. And the kid got into
305
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,600
trouble. And the uncle went down to the
306
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,200
school to bail him out, but when the
307
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,920
kid's mom came, the mom blamed the uncle.
308
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,600
And the kid just sat there and let the
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00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,560
uncle take the rap. How
310
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,000
did the story end?You tell me.
311
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,760
There's more to the story.
312
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,760
See, the uncle, you don't mind taking the
313
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,320
heat. As long as the kid's honest. If
314
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,280
you get ain't honest, that's the end of
315
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:12,720
the story.
316
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,920
Come on, baby. Why don't you do it?
317
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,680
Because I don't want my mom to get
318
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,240
married again. Why, you don't like Bob?
319
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,080
No, Bob's okay. At least he's better than
320
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,400
the last guy mom dated. He married a baby
321
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,560
gym. I'd like to see babies sweat. Yeah,
322
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,880
I didn't know babies could sweat. They do
323
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,160
want now less equipment.
324
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,720
I just don't think mom should get married
325
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,040
at all. Everything is fine when it's just
326
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,920
the two of us. Uh, no no no no noThen
327
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,160
you can go stay a latchkey kid.
328
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,240
I don't mind sharing her. Hey,
329
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,160
I know, but Louie, you gotta look at her
330
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,720
from her side. And she's gonna grow up,
331
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,320
move away. You know, she's gonna need
332
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,160
somebody. It's not fair. If
333
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,560
she gets married, nothing will be the
334
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,360
same. Look, Louie, I told you that.
335
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,840
Things change. But she's still gonna love
336
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,720
you. Hey, look, you
337
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,160
know, sometimes things change for the
338
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,680
better. You know, like you and me, I went
339
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,520
away, but now I'm back. I'm
340
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,400
here for you. You know, if you've got a
341
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,120
problem, we can talk.
342
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,200
If you feel alone, we'll hop on Uncle
343
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,040
Nick's bike and go for a ride and grab a
344
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:41,840
few beers.
345
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,920
Okay?Okay, Nick.
346
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,760
Lewis, it's
347
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:51,360
bedtime, honey.
348
00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,560
Hi. HiI was just telling him a
349
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,880
bedtime story, I swear. It's
350
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,760
okay, Nick. Let's go see.
351
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,160
Mom?You don't want to know the best
352
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,800
things about you?You're always
353
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,640
forgiving. What do you mean?
354
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:15,760
Watch.
355
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,560
I tear myself to the desk today because I
356
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,080
don't want you and Bob to get married.
357
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,840
What?It wasn't Nick's fault.
358
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,720
Lewis, I can't believe I'm hearing this.
359
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:35,520
I thought you liked Bob. I do.
360
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,240
But I was acting like an insecure kid.
361
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,840
Well, I am an insecure kid. But I
362
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,800
was acting like some other insecure kid.
363
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,200
Honey, there's no reason for you to be
364
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,120
insecure. I know. That's
365
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:52,800
what Nick told me.
366
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,520
Thanks, Nick. day.
367
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,520
I guess I owe you an apology.
368
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:07,680
Yeah?
369
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:21,440
I can't do it.
370
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,880
Even when we were kids, I could never
371
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,960
apologize to you, even when I was wrong
372
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,400
and you were right. I was never right.
373
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,040
That's why.
374
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,840
Okay, there's a first time foreverything.
375
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:42,800
I'm sorry.
376
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,320
Say goodnight to your friend and then
377
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:03,760
uh.. I'll spit.
378
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,000
Goodnight, Louise. Goodnight.
379
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:17,840
Uncle Nick.
380
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:29,180
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