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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:09,240 Oops, missed one. 2 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:16,059 You know, the first time I chopped a head off, I was eight years old. 3 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:20,180 It was a rabbit. He'd been breaking all the rabbit rules. 4 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,400 Everyone knows rabbits hop and eat carrots. 5 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:29,180 But this rabbit walked and ate coconuts. So I chopped its head off. 6 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:38,120 I knew my mom wouldn't understand, so I hid his head in my favorite lunchbox and 7 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,280 tossed it into the water. 8 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,400 That was my first time being a hero. 9 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:44,700 Good talk. 10 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:46,400 Now, bye. 11 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,280 Hey, 12 00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:58,820 life vest on. 13 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,880 You know the rules, kiddo. 14 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,930 Son? Where do you think you're going? 15 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:11,590 One day, the spoon of the fire, the cop, found the perfect act. 16 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:15,190 That was the day he became X -Cop. 17 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:17,510 I need a partner now. 18 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:22,650 So, yeah, try out. Hire a partner. My name is Fleet Cop. We have bad guys to 19 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:25,730 hypnotize. I will chop your heads off! 20 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,400 Cop, don't kill the messenger, bud. I got some bad news. Our gun bill was 21 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,560 through the roof last month. Holy cow. 22 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,000 If we want to buy more bullets, we're going to have to get second jobs. 23 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,620 Hello, I'm an orphan, but the orphanage closed. Please be my father. 24 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,040 Hey, flute cop. 25 00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:54,120 What's the kind of dad that gets paid to be a dad? 26 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,720 I think you're talking about a foster dad. Problem solved, flute cop. 27 00:01:58,140 --> 00:02:02,020 I will be your foster dad, and I'll use the money to buy bullets. 28 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,280 Or not. 29 00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:08,560 Axe Cop, as a dad, I have to say this. I just have to say it. Raising a child is 30 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,000 a huge responsibility. 31 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,259 I know. 32 00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:14,260 That's why I'm going to find him a mom to take care of him. 33 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:19,080 Oh, Axe Cop, last year, me and a couple buddies found out about this place out 34 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:23,080 in the deserts of Las Vegas, where for a small fee, they'll set you up with a 35 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,830 girl. How much does it cost? 36 00:02:25,450 --> 00:02:26,450 Fifteen dollars. 37 00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:29,410 You two stay here and babysit my foster son. 38 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:35,510 Gray Diamond and I are going to Las Vegas. They have a roller coaster on top 39 00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:36,448 a hotel. 40 00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:40,690 And the second best place is at Lucky Lucy's Saloon. It's great, but you gotta 41 00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:44,570 get there early because they run out of French toast fast. This is the place. 42 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:53,990 Hello, welcome to the perfect match machine in Wedding Chapel. 43 00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:57,690 Before we get started, we're going to need you to fill out this form. I don't 44 00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,030 fill out forms, Todd. 45 00:02:59,330 --> 00:02:59,929 Give me that! 46 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:00,930 I love paperwork. 47 00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:04,150 One time, me and my buddy filled out like ten forms at once. 48 00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:05,390 It was like, what? 49 00:03:05,530 --> 00:03:06,810 Now step into the machine. 50 00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:09,970 It will scan your brain and find your perfect match. 51 00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:16,590 What the heck? 52 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,900 In my 20 years of working here, I've never seen anything like this. 53 00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:23,840 You are the ultimate man. 54 00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,200 Tell me something I don't know, Todd. 55 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:32,000 There is literally not a single woman on this planet good enough for Axe Cop. 56 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,840 Let's get out of here, Gray Diamond. 57 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,980 Awesome! That gives us some time to hit the strip and try our luck on some games 58 00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:39,140 of chance. Wexter! 59 00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:47,050 I lost everything in the casinos of Las Vegas. 60 00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:52,370 Foster kid, I couldn't find you a mom in Las Vegas, so that leaves me with no 61 00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:54,410 choice. I can't be your dad. 62 00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:59,370 Axe cop, you just can't foster a child and then decide you don't want him. You 63 00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:00,630 need to take some responsibility. 64 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:05,790 Hmm. My tri -annual Learn Out for Kids is coming up this weekend. 65 00:04:06,050 --> 00:04:09,290 Oh, that's perfect. That would really give you two some father -foster -son 66 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:14,340 bonding time. And if I teach him how to be more like me, the ultimate man, He 67 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,600 could be the ultimate son! 68 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:25,280 Now, if you're here for Sockarang's Sock Attack 101, follow him to Cabin B. 69 00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:27,780 Who's ready to go nuts? 70 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,080 Sock Attack! 71 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:29,959 Sock Attack! 72 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,960 If you're here for Gray Diamond's Best Friend Seminar, raise your hand. 73 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:39,240 Now, the thing to consider when picking a best friend is who lives closest to 74 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,240 your house. 75 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,780 Dinosaurs, follow Wexter. 76 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:47,930 And if you're here for the axe learn -out, pick up your wooden axes and 77 00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:51,610 me. I said, dinosaurs follow Wexler. 78 00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:54,030 Right. 79 00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:55,810 Right. Right. 80 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,450 Wrong! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 81 00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:01,630 Axe cop, can I have a quick word with you? 82 00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:06,110 You gotta lighten up on that kid. How about instead of yelling at him, you 83 00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,110 him how to improve? 84 00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:09,130 But he's terrible at everything. 85 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,950 There's no way he could be my foster son. 86 00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:14,010 The kid just needs some encouragement. 87 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,490 I know you can do it, Axe Cop. 88 00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,050 Kid, 89 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:25,850 you asleep? 90 00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:30,030 I want to tell you something about me that you probably don't know. 91 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:32,180 I have three world records. 92 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,540 The first is for the most axe blades. 93 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:38,720 I just pushed a button on my axe and 1 ,000 blades came out. 94 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:45,620 The second is for being the world's fastest chopper. I pushed a button on my 95 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:50,400 chest and a robotic arm came out and fed me an axe stock energy drink. 96 00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:54,380 I ran past 1 ,000 bad guys super fast. 97 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:58,620 But it was so fast, my axe was invisible. 98 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:00,349 Wait, what? 99 00:06:00,350 --> 00:06:03,110 My third world record was the hardest to get. 100 00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:06,890 I went to jump school, which was taught by Jumpman. 101 00:06:07,430 --> 00:06:10,030 He could jump just a little bit into space. 102 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,770 Being the best jumper is the only thing that gives me joy! 103 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:21,950 But I made my parents let me keep going to jump school every year. I was going 104 00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:24,510 to go until I could beat Jumpman. 105 00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:27,450 And one day, I did it. 106 00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:29,940 I jumped all the way into outer space. 107 00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:33,980 That's how I got the world record for highest jumper. 108 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:42,080 No. The point is, I have three world records when most everyone has none. But 109 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,140 had to work hard to get them. 110 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:46,580 At least I had to work hard to get one of them. 111 00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,120 Good night, foster son. 112 00:06:57,590 --> 00:07:03,150 Not bad, but you are still kicking a little too high. Try it again, but 113 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,230 I think you're ready for something more advanced. 114 00:07:07,610 --> 00:07:08,610 Axe face kick! 115 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,050 Posing tiger kick! 116 00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:14,550 Spinning tornado! 117 00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:24,310 I saw a lot of losers turn to winners this weekend. But there was only one 118 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,470 winner who learned all the kicks. 119 00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,690 Even the flaming falcon kick? 120 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,230 Mm -hmm. Even the upside -down face kick? 121 00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:33,730 Yep. Even the spinning tornado kick? 122 00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:36,730 With a plumb. Wow, good job, little guy. 123 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:39,610 Here's your very own real axe. 124 00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:43,270 I'm proud of you. You're not just my foster son. 125 00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:44,990 You're my ultimate son. 126 00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:50,030 Now follow me. It's time for you to become a hero, like your ultimate dad. 127 00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:53,570 See that hole? 128 00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:56,530 It's filled with a lot of good rabbits. 129 00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:59,710 But there's always one who breaks all the rules. 130 00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:06,250 So, when he strolls out here casually eating a coconut, that's when I want you 131 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,550 to chop his head off. 132 00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,430 It's time. Do it now. 133 00:08:26,170 --> 00:08:29,150 Ultimate Son, what has gotten into you? 134 00:08:29,490 --> 00:08:31,770 I'm not your ultimate son. 135 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,929 I'm your ultimate enemy. 136 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,850 The soul of your first kill. 137 00:08:37,110 --> 00:08:40,450 And now, I'm back to kill you. 138 00:08:41,090 --> 00:08:43,750 You're the soul of the rabbit that broke all the rules? 139 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,490 I'll chop your head off again! 140 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:58,950 You can't defeat me. You taught me all your kicks, dummy. 141 00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:04,610 Wrong. There's one kick I didn't teach you because it didn't exist until now. 142 00:09:05,150 --> 00:09:06,670 X -Cop Soul Kick! 143 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:21,380 to do was walk around and eat coconuts. 144 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,000 Then you shouldn't have been born a rabbit. 145 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,520 Where am I? 146 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,460 There goes all that foster dad money. 147 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:36,620 I guess I was wrong, buddy. I'm sorry I told you to take that kid under your 148 00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:40,000 wing, but I still think spending time with him taught you a very valuable 149 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,120 lesson. Right? 150 00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:42,340 No? 151 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,420 Yeah, right? Yes, it did. 152 00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:48,800 I learned that if you're going to kill something, you have to make sure you 153 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:49,820 its soul, too. 154 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,260 Yeah, that sounds about right. 155 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,360 You were my foster son. 156 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,920 But I never gave you a name. 157 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:57,560 Now I can. 158 00:09:58,540 --> 00:09:59,740 Last name Rabbit. 159 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,780 First name... Dead. 160 00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:15,470 Hold on. 161 00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:25,270 I don't know, but it sounds wrong. It's like off -tune, right? What is that? 12316