Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:20,662
Well,
back to the daily grind.
2
00:00:20,663 --> 00:00:22,330
Yep.
3
00:00:22,331 --> 00:00:24,199
Cash the unemployment check,
4
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,869
buy a beer, drink it,
fall asleep on the couch.
5
00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:29,939
Still can't seem to get ahead.
6
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,474
Yep.
7
00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:36,577
Whoa.
Check it out, Beavis.
8
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,180
It's a free couch.
9
00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:39,315
Whoa, that's cool.
10
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,684
Lucky day.
11
00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:43,618
Whoa.
12
00:00:43,619 --> 00:00:46,221
This is so much cooler
than our couch.
13
00:00:46,222 --> 00:00:48,124
Yeah, it looks like
nobody's ever fallen asleep
14
00:00:48,224 --> 00:00:49,191
and peed on it.
15
00:00:49,192 --> 00:00:50,326
Not even once!
16
00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:52,761
If we had this couch
in our apartment,
17
00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:56,499
we could finally start
inviting chicks over and stuff.
18
00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,233
And then they'll want
to sit on our couch.
19
00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,935
Yeah.
20
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,405
And then sit on me.
21
00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:06,308
Yeah, cool.
22
00:01:06,309 --> 00:01:07,843
I'll take this end.
23
00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:09,645
OK.
24
00:01:09,646 --> 00:01:11,713
And you take that end.
25
00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:13,781
Uh, no.
26
00:01:15,084 --> 00:01:17,585
Oh.
Really?
27
00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:19,120
That sucks.
28
00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,995
Hurry up already, dumbass.
29
00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:27,495
Oh, God.
30
00:01:27,496 --> 00:01:33,135
Welcome to my micro cabin.
31
00:01:34,337 --> 00:01:37,707
It's where I keep
my micro penis.
32
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,708
Wait a minute.
That's his house?
33
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:42,410
Oh, boy.
34
00:01:42,411 --> 00:01:45,947
He's like, I wanna feel
like I'm living in my car,
35
00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:48,450
but not be able
to actually go anywhere.
36
00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:55,491
This mailbox is actually a
kids' lunchbox from the 1960s.
37
00:01:55,492 --> 00:01:58,493
I was out cruising around
looking for a mailbox.
38
00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,962
I was out cruising around,
looking for a mailbox for it.
39
00:02:00,963 --> 00:02:02,531
And I saw a little
kid going to school,
40
00:02:02,532 --> 00:02:06,601
and I said, uh,
that lunchbox is mine now.
41
00:02:06,602 --> 00:02:08,303
Run along.
42
00:02:08,304 --> 00:02:10,305
You can find another lunchbox.
43
00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:12,640
I need this for the
shipping crate I live in.
44
00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,744
It'll double the size
of my home.
45
00:02:15,745 --> 00:02:19,749
Yeah, in all
seriousness, though, Butt-Head,
46
00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,583
I don't think
he's ever gonna score.
47
00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,718
Yeah.
48
00:02:23,719 --> 00:02:25,420
Nope.
49
00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:28,122
Because of the added room
because of the pop top.
50
00:02:28,123 --> 00:02:29,724
When he meets girls,
he's like,
51
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,460
come on back to my house,
baby.
52
00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:35,131
You can stand all the way up.
53
00:02:35,231 --> 00:02:36,832
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
54
00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:40,535
Chicks are probably
like, uh, glasses-on-hat guy,
55
00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:43,572
I wanna score with you
back at your house.
56
00:02:43,573 --> 00:02:46,442
And he's like, hmm, well,
57
00:02:46,443 --> 00:02:48,743
I'm gonna have
to measure you first.
58
00:02:50,747 --> 00:02:52,381
You can bang your head
on the ceiling,
59
00:02:52,382 --> 00:02:54,149
and then you can bang me.
60
00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:57,953
Yeah, but hurry up,
61
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,455
because we only have
15 minutes of air.
62
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,593
There's probably not enough
room for you,
63
00:03:03,693 --> 00:03:05,760
me, and my boner,
so one of us
64
00:03:05,761 --> 00:03:07,195
is going to have
to wait outside.
65
00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:10,398
And I'm thinking me.
66
00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:13,801
I have my kitchen area.
67
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,138
Yeah, maybe
I can set the mood
68
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,339
by heating up
some canned food for you.
69
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,107
Yeah.
70
00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:22,577
Maybe a little Chef Boyardee.
71
00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:27,316
I put the D in Chef Boyardee.
72
00:03:27,317 --> 00:03:29,485
And magnets, oh,
I got 'em, yeah.
73
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:41,129
Hey, baby.
Check out what we're doing.
74
00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:43,598
Are you moving?
75
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,834
Yeah, no one peed
on this couch.
76
00:03:45,835 --> 00:03:47,135
You're finally leaving.
77
00:03:47,136 --> 00:03:49,038
Tonight,
I am bringing friends over
78
00:03:49,139 --> 00:03:51,239
and we are having a party
to celebrate.
79
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,042
This is fantastic.
80
00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:55,643
Whoa.
Did you hear that?
81
00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:57,445
She's gonna come back
with a bunch of chicks
82
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,180
and party with us.
83
00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:01,816
This couch is working
even better than I thought.
84
00:04:03,052 --> 00:04:05,620
Yeah, we better
get it up the stairs fast.
85
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,023
And then we'll get it up.
86
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,491
That's right.
87
00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:12,194
Nothing to it but to do it.
88
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,967
Come on, Beavis.
89
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,068
You're making me
do all the work.
90
00:04:21,771 --> 00:04:24,940
Um, Butt-Head, Butt-Head.
91
00:04:24,941 --> 00:04:27,376
Yeah?
Uh, what?
92
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,177
Oh, this is really heavy.
93
00:04:29,178 --> 00:04:32,680
Like, can we take a rest
for a second?
94
00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:34,550
Uh, sure.
95
00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,718
I've been resting for,
like, five minutes.
96
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,621
Feels good to take a load off.
97
00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:40,923
Ah!
No!
98
00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:51,032
Nice job, dumbass.
99
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:55,437
You dropped it.
100
00:04:55,438 --> 00:04:57,273
OK, OK.
Here's my idea.
101
00:04:57,373 --> 00:05:00,675
We pull the couch up
with this string.
102
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:03,578
Whoa.
That's a good idea, asswipe.
103
00:05:03,579 --> 00:05:05,780
Yeah, make sure
you tie it really tight.
104
00:05:05,781 --> 00:05:07,148
Like with a knot, you know?
105
00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:08,917
Shut up, Beavis.
106
00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:10,251
I know what I'm doing.
107
00:05:10,252 --> 00:05:13,321
Just take this here.
108
00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:15,657
Rabbit goes around the tree.
109
00:05:15,658 --> 00:05:17,892
Just tighten this.
110
00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:19,895
OK, is the string tied
to the couch?
111
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:23,331
Beavis, you dumbass,
your dumb string doesn't work.
112
00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:26,034
It tied me up or something.
113
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:27,369
I think if you unwrap it
114
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,871
from around your butt or
something, and then, like--
115
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:33,976
Beavis, get down here
and untie your dumb string.
116
00:05:34,076 --> 00:05:35,243
OK.
117
00:05:35,244 --> 00:05:37,412
Um, give me a second.
118
00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:39,748
I think my head's caught
in the railing.
119
00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:41,116
I can't get it out.
120
00:05:41,117 --> 00:05:42,517
I don't care.
121
00:05:42,518 --> 00:05:43,752
Nah, don't worry.
122
00:05:43,753 --> 00:05:45,287
This happened all the time
when I was a kid.
123
00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:46,688
You just have to come up here
124
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:48,489
and put peanut butter
on my ears.
125
00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:50,725
Damn it. I'm gonna come
up there and kick your ass.
126
00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:53,963
Ah! Butt-Head, help!
Ah!
127
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,130
Ah!
- Oh, no.
128
00:05:55,131 --> 00:05:56,564
Uh--
- Ah!
129
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,399
Butt-Head!
Ah, no!
130
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,135
Damn it, Beavis.
Look what you did.
131
00:06:03,606 --> 00:06:04,540
Oh.
132
00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:08,478
That's better.
133
00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,679
Are my ears still on?
134
00:06:10,779 --> 00:06:13,248
Beavis, I'm gonna kill you.
135
00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:21,991
We can't get the
couch up the steps, Butt-Head.
136
00:06:22,092 --> 00:06:24,793
Uh, yeah, I know.
137
00:06:24,794 --> 00:06:26,762
Well, I guess some guys
138
00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:28,964
just aren't meant to have a
cool couch and--
139
00:06:29,064 --> 00:06:30,632
and to have chicks
come sit on it
140
00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:34,336
and maybe sit
on their schlongs.
141
00:06:34,337 --> 00:06:36,171
No, Beavis.
142
00:06:36,172 --> 00:06:38,540
Shut up.
143
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:40,642
This is our one chance
to score with Donna
144
00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:42,010
and her dumb friends.
145
00:06:43,512 --> 00:06:45,046
And that's only the beginning.
146
00:06:45,047 --> 00:06:46,848
After we score with them,
147
00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:49,384
we're gonna move up
to chicks who are even hotter
148
00:06:49,385 --> 00:06:52,387
because chicks will, like,
know we do it.
149
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:58,059
Beavis, we are going to get
that couch in our apartment.
150
00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:01,730
Yeah! Yeah, Butt-Head!
Yeah, let's do it!
151
00:07:01,831 --> 00:07:03,032
Yeah!
152
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,900
That's right, Beavis.
153
00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:06,968
Let's do this.
- Yeah!
154
00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:11,172
Yeah.
155
00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:15,276
We did it.
OK, wait.
156
00:07:15,277 --> 00:07:16,878
Now, just gonna
unlock the door.
157
00:07:18,014 --> 00:07:19,114
We can do it, Beavis.
158
00:07:19,115 --> 00:07:20,782
Yeah, let's go.
159
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:26,621
Easy does it.
160
00:07:26,622 --> 00:07:28,690
Almost there.
161
00:07:30,393 --> 00:07:32,927
We did it!
Yeah, we finally did it.
162
00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,932
Oh, boy.
163
00:07:40,069 --> 00:07:41,202
Um.
164
00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:43,372
Um, Butt-Head, um,
165
00:07:43,373 --> 00:07:45,607
I think we're
in the wrong apartment.
166
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:50,078
Uh--oh, yeah.
167
00:08:10,566 --> 00:08:12,267
We did it, Butt-Head.
168
00:08:12,268 --> 00:08:13,702
Now, we're finally gonna score.
169
00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:15,336
Yeah.
170
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,571
Yep.
171
00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:18,440
All we gotta do
is wait for the chicks.
172
00:08:19,809 --> 00:08:22,944
I am so happy
those two losers moved out.
173
00:08:22,945 --> 00:08:25,114
You can't believe what
a relief it is that
174
00:08:25,115 --> 00:08:27,215
they're finally--
175
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,616
Goddamn it!
176
00:08:28,617 --> 00:08:30,451
What did they do
to my apartment?
177
00:08:30,452 --> 00:08:32,320
Oh, damn it!
178
00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:35,023
Uh, we're not gonna score.
179
00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,160
Yep.
180
00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:41,696
These guys are unbelievable!
181
00:09:11,928 --> 00:09:12,962
Chirp.
12111
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof