All language subtitles for Mike.Judges.Beavis.and.Butt-Head.S03E06.New.Couch.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:20,662 Well, back to the daily grind. 2 00:00:20,663 --> 00:00:22,330 Yep. 3 00:00:22,331 --> 00:00:24,199 Cash the unemployment check, 4 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,869 buy a beer, drink it, fall asleep on the couch. 5 00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:29,939 Still can't seem to get ahead. 6 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,474 Yep. 7 00:00:34,110 --> 00:00:36,577 Whoa. Check it out, Beavis. 8 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,180 It's a free couch. 9 00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:39,315 Whoa, that's cool. 10 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,684 Lucky day. 11 00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:43,618 Whoa. 12 00:00:43,619 --> 00:00:46,221 This is so much cooler than our couch. 13 00:00:46,222 --> 00:00:48,124 Yeah, it looks like nobody's ever fallen asleep 14 00:00:48,224 --> 00:00:49,191 and peed on it. 15 00:00:49,192 --> 00:00:50,326 Not even once! 16 00:00:50,427 --> 00:00:52,761 If we had this couch in our apartment, 17 00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:56,499 we could finally start inviting chicks over and stuff. 18 00:00:56,599 --> 00:00:58,233 And then they'll want to sit on our couch. 19 00:00:58,234 --> 00:01:00,935 Yeah. 20 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,405 And then sit on me. 21 00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:06,308 Yeah, cool. 22 00:01:06,309 --> 00:01:07,843 I'll take this end. 23 00:01:07,944 --> 00:01:09,645 OK. 24 00:01:09,646 --> 00:01:11,713 And you take that end. 25 00:01:11,714 --> 00:01:13,781 Uh, no. 26 00:01:15,084 --> 00:01:17,585 Oh. Really? 27 00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:19,120 That sucks. 28 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,995 Hurry up already, dumbass. 29 00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:27,495 Oh, God. 30 00:01:27,496 --> 00:01:33,135 Welcome to my micro cabin. 31 00:01:34,337 --> 00:01:37,707 It's where I keep my micro penis. 32 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,708 Wait a minute. That's his house? 33 00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:42,410 Oh, boy. 34 00:01:42,411 --> 00:01:45,947 He's like, I wanna feel like I'm living in my car, 35 00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:48,450 but not be able to actually go anywhere. 36 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:55,491 This mailbox is actually a kids' lunchbox from the 1960s. 37 00:01:55,492 --> 00:01:58,493 I was out cruising around looking for a mailbox. 38 00:01:58,494 --> 00:02:00,962 I was out cruising around, looking for a mailbox for it. 39 00:02:00,963 --> 00:02:02,531 And I saw a little kid going to school, 40 00:02:02,532 --> 00:02:06,601 and I said, uh, that lunchbox is mine now. 41 00:02:06,602 --> 00:02:08,303 Run along. 42 00:02:08,304 --> 00:02:10,305 You can find another lunchbox. 43 00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:12,640 I need this for the shipping crate I live in. 44 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,744 It'll double the size of my home. 45 00:02:15,745 --> 00:02:19,749 Yeah, in all seriousness, though, Butt-Head, 46 00:02:19,849 --> 00:02:21,583 I don't think he's ever gonna score. 47 00:02:21,684 --> 00:02:23,718 Yeah. 48 00:02:23,719 --> 00:02:25,420 Nope. 49 00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:28,122 Because of the added room because of the pop top. 50 00:02:28,123 --> 00:02:29,724 When he meets girls, he's like, 51 00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,460 come on back to my house, baby. 52 00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:35,131 You can stand all the way up. 53 00:02:35,231 --> 00:02:36,832 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:40,535 Chicks are probably like, uh, glasses-on-hat guy, 55 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:43,572 I wanna score with you back at your house. 56 00:02:43,573 --> 00:02:46,442 And he's like, hmm, well, 57 00:02:46,443 --> 00:02:48,743 I'm gonna have to measure you first. 58 00:02:50,747 --> 00:02:52,381 You can bang your head on the ceiling, 59 00:02:52,382 --> 00:02:54,149 and then you can bang me. 60 00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:57,953 Yeah, but hurry up, 61 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,455 because we only have 15 minutes of air. 62 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,593 There's probably not enough room for you, 63 00:03:03,693 --> 00:03:05,760 me, and my boner, so one of us 64 00:03:05,761 --> 00:03:07,195 is going to have to wait outside. 65 00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:10,398 And I'm thinking me. 66 00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:13,801 I have my kitchen area. 67 00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,138 Yeah, maybe I can set the mood 68 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,339 by heating up some canned food for you. 69 00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:19,107 Yeah. 70 00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:22,577 Maybe a little Chef Boyardee. 71 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:27,316 I put the D in Chef Boyardee. 72 00:03:27,317 --> 00:03:29,485 And magnets, oh, I got 'em, yeah. 73 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:41,129 Hey, baby. Check out what we're doing. 74 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:43,598 Are you moving? 75 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,834 Yeah, no one peed on this couch. 76 00:03:45,835 --> 00:03:47,135 You're finally leaving. 77 00:03:47,136 --> 00:03:49,038 Tonight, I am bringing friends over 78 00:03:49,139 --> 00:03:51,239 and we are having a party to celebrate. 79 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:53,042 This is fantastic. 80 00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:55,643 Whoa. Did you hear that? 81 00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:57,445 She's gonna come back with a bunch of chicks 82 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,180 and party with us. 83 00:03:59,181 --> 00:04:01,816 This couch is working even better than I thought. 84 00:04:03,052 --> 00:04:05,620 Yeah, we better get it up the stairs fast. 85 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:08,023 And then we'll get it up. 86 00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,491 That's right. 87 00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:12,194 Nothing to it but to do it. 88 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,967 Come on, Beavis. 89 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,068 You're making me do all the work. 90 00:04:21,771 --> 00:04:24,940 Um, Butt-Head, Butt-Head. 91 00:04:24,941 --> 00:04:27,376 Yeah? Uh, what? 92 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,177 Oh, this is really heavy. 93 00:04:29,178 --> 00:04:32,680 Like, can we take a rest for a second? 94 00:04:32,681 --> 00:04:34,550 Uh, sure. 95 00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,718 I've been resting for, like, five minutes. 96 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,621 Feels good to take a load off. 97 00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:40,923 Ah! No! 98 00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:51,032 Nice job, dumbass. 99 00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:55,437 You dropped it. 100 00:04:55,438 --> 00:04:57,273 OK, OK. Here's my idea. 101 00:04:57,373 --> 00:05:00,675 We pull the couch up with this string. 102 00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:03,578 Whoa. That's a good idea, asswipe. 103 00:05:03,579 --> 00:05:05,780 Yeah, make sure you tie it really tight. 104 00:05:05,781 --> 00:05:07,148 Like with a knot, you know? 105 00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:08,917 Shut up, Beavis. 106 00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:10,251 I know what I'm doing. 107 00:05:10,252 --> 00:05:13,321 Just take this here. 108 00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:15,657 Rabbit goes around the tree. 109 00:05:15,658 --> 00:05:17,892 Just tighten this. 110 00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:19,895 OK, is the string tied to the couch? 111 00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:23,331 Beavis, you dumbass, your dumb string doesn't work. 112 00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:26,034 It tied me up or something. 113 00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:27,369 I think if you unwrap it 114 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,871 from around your butt or something, and then, like-- 115 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:33,976 Beavis, get down here and untie your dumb string. 116 00:05:34,076 --> 00:05:35,243 OK. 117 00:05:35,244 --> 00:05:37,412 Um, give me a second. 118 00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:39,748 I think my head's caught in the railing. 119 00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:41,116 I can't get it out. 120 00:05:41,117 --> 00:05:42,517 I don't care. 121 00:05:42,518 --> 00:05:43,752 Nah, don't worry. 122 00:05:43,753 --> 00:05:45,287 This happened all the time when I was a kid. 123 00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:46,688 You just have to come up here 124 00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:48,489 and put peanut butter on my ears. 125 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:50,725 Damn it. I'm gonna come up there and kick your ass. 126 00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:53,963 Ah! Butt-Head, help! Ah! 127 00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,130 Ah! - Oh, no. 128 00:05:55,131 --> 00:05:56,564 Uh-- - Ah! 129 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,399 Butt-Head! Ah, no! 130 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,135 Damn it, Beavis. Look what you did. 131 00:06:03,606 --> 00:06:04,540 Oh. 132 00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:08,478 That's better. 133 00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,679 Are my ears still on? 134 00:06:10,779 --> 00:06:13,248 Beavis, I'm gonna kill you. 135 00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:21,991 We can't get the couch up the steps, Butt-Head. 136 00:06:22,092 --> 00:06:24,793 Uh, yeah, I know. 137 00:06:24,794 --> 00:06:26,762 Well, I guess some guys 138 00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:28,964 just aren't meant to have a cool couch and-- 139 00:06:29,064 --> 00:06:30,632 and to have chicks come sit on it 140 00:06:30,633 --> 00:06:34,336 and maybe sit on their schlongs. 141 00:06:34,337 --> 00:06:36,171 No, Beavis. 142 00:06:36,172 --> 00:06:38,540 Shut up. 143 00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:40,642 This is our one chance to score with Donna 144 00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:42,010 and her dumb friends. 145 00:06:43,512 --> 00:06:45,046 And that's only the beginning. 146 00:06:45,047 --> 00:06:46,848 After we score with them, 147 00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:49,384 we're gonna move up to chicks who are even hotter 148 00:06:49,385 --> 00:06:52,387 because chicks will, like, know we do it. 149 00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:58,059 Beavis, we are going to get that couch in our apartment. 150 00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:01,730 Yeah! Yeah, Butt-Head! Yeah, let's do it! 151 00:07:01,831 --> 00:07:03,032 Yeah! 152 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,900 That's right, Beavis. 153 00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:06,968 Let's do this. - Yeah! 154 00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:11,172 Yeah. 155 00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:15,276 We did it. OK, wait. 156 00:07:15,277 --> 00:07:16,878 Now, just gonna unlock the door. 157 00:07:18,014 --> 00:07:19,114 We can do it, Beavis. 158 00:07:19,115 --> 00:07:20,782 Yeah, let's go. 159 00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:26,621 Easy does it. 160 00:07:26,622 --> 00:07:28,690 Almost there. 161 00:07:30,393 --> 00:07:32,927 We did it! Yeah, we finally did it. 162 00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,932 Oh, boy. 163 00:07:40,069 --> 00:07:41,202 Um. 164 00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:43,372 Um, Butt-Head, um, 165 00:07:43,373 --> 00:07:45,607 I think we're in the wrong apartment. 166 00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:50,078 Uh--oh, yeah. 167 00:08:10,566 --> 00:08:12,267 We did it, Butt-Head. 168 00:08:12,268 --> 00:08:13,702 Now, we're finally gonna score. 169 00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:15,336 Yeah. 170 00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,571 Yep. 171 00:08:16,572 --> 00:08:18,440 All we gotta do is wait for the chicks. 172 00:08:19,809 --> 00:08:22,944 I am so happy those two losers moved out. 173 00:08:22,945 --> 00:08:25,114 You can't believe what a relief it is that 174 00:08:25,115 --> 00:08:27,215 they're finally-- 175 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,616 Goddamn it! 176 00:08:28,617 --> 00:08:30,451 What did they do to my apartment? 177 00:08:30,452 --> 00:08:32,320 Oh, damn it! 178 00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:35,023 Uh, we're not gonna score. 179 00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,160 Yep. 180 00:08:39,529 --> 00:08:41,696 These guys are unbelievable! 181 00:09:11,928 --> 00:09:12,962 Chirp. 12111

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