All language subtitles for Les Tuche 3 (2018) French AC3 BluRay 1080p x264.GHT.en

Hello, everyone!
It's us Tuche!

I hope you didn't miss us too much.

- I have an idea.
I install the A/C in the garage

like that Nevada...
- Huh?

Will not be hot in the summer.

- It's happened in two years!

After our return from the Americas,
we have resumed our habits.

First, like every lunch, it's...

- Fries! Fries!

- FRENCH FRIES! FRENCH FRIES!

-Cathy, fries!

- FRENCH FRIES! FRENCH FRIES!

- That's it! Here you go

Get the utensils out of me.
-Finally!

Where's the samurai?

- And the ketchup?
-In front of you. You're blind, too?

- In addition to what?

Miss Malabar,
it works well

the muscu!

- Don't touch me, you!
- That's enough!

All right, Will got divorced. It was fatal.

He didn't make much effort
with her Mexican husband, Juan.

- Mira.

I can't help you, Tuche Daddy.

Look what you did.
- He was dirty.

I washed it with the cat machine. (French brand for washing clothes)

- You idiot!

- Porque?

My princess came back too,

after its eighth separation
with his footballer.

A real soap opera.

- We're missing something.
-What?

- Ben... a child!

- No, we've already talked about it.
I have a career.

I can't stop for nine months.

- But I'm gonna wear it.
The fruit of our love!

- There's fruit on the plane.

- Love! Love!
The exit is on the other side.

- Turkey stuffed... with French fries!

- It's not Christmas, the turkey?
- It's the log.

- It's in Thanksgiving.
-Say, Coin-Coin,

Take your earbuds off.
Somebody

Will you say something smart?

- That's not nice.

As for my Coin-Coin,
he is happy, blossomed.

He's just been accepted at Polytechnique.

- I don't go.

-Why?

- I'm tired of it.
I have a lump in my belly,

There's something wrong,
Something I can't evacuate.

-Fart a blow.

Laughs

- Hey, Will! Okay, Coin-Coin,

Listen to me.

Now, you're crossing the...

How do we say it again? Uh...
The “cuberté”. (puberty)

- Exactly.
- I'm explaining.

It's in your body.

You'll have... big climbs...
then great descents.

- It's like a roller coaster.
You go up, you go up and you go down.

You go up, you go down.
You can take a ride again.

- Yeah, you don't have to worry.

It's a passage.
-What passage?

I didn't have a childhood.
I enrolled Daddy in Job Pole.

- Exact.
-I negotiated loans

for grandma's debts
-Exact

- I played blind in front of the bailiff

so we don't get fired.
I lied to the Sécu.

- Exact. It's normal to help your family.

- I was 11 years old!

- Was I born?
- What it takes, my Coin-Coin,

is that you dip your biscuit.
That's it.

- What are you talking about biscuit?
- It has no connection

- There's no connection.

- That's it.
- He needs to put

the speculoos in the cafe.
- Coin-Coin!

He's studying too much, his brain's exploding.
I saw that in SpongeBob .

- Anyway, your brain is not at all.

Stephanie laughs.
- No, no.

The one that poses us
the most problems,

It's Grandma Suze. Yes, yes.

She's having her seizure.
We don't know what she's got.

*Heavy metal music

It's starting again.

- GRANDMA!

The music stops.

- Fucking!

(In vashniek)
I got tattooed on my buttocks

the singer of Metallica!

- As for my Jeff...

We're all proud of him.
He became mayor.

And it's a great day
for our village.

-Bouzolloises, Bouzollois,

It's a great day
for our village.

The TGV, it finally goes

stop at our beautiful train station
international.

Applause

Jeff, over here!

-... -

- Jeff!

-Our village is now

2h15 from the capital.

2h30 if you arrive a quarter of an hour
in advance at the station.

Long live the Bouzolles-Paris!

Long live the SNCF!

Careful...

Music!
Band Music

...

- I'm ready!

...

Train whistle
which passes very fast

- Weren't there a brass band? And a guy
with a tuft of orange hair?

- You okay, Thierry?

- Jeff! Hey, Jeff! Look.

“The TGV will pass through Bouzolles.”

He doesn't stop at Bouzolles.

- I'm ready!

*—You are with the Palace of the Elysée.

-2 hours I'm waiting for!

*—Don't leave.
- It doesn 't answer.

He's gonna hear me, the president!

- Let it go.
-No!

I won't let it go.

If you have the president, you have the camembert.

If you have the camembert, you have the cheese.
And so, you got dessert.

If you have the cheese and dessert,
you ate well,

And so, you drank well.
If you ate well and drank well,

You've got your belly skin tight.

If you're tense, you have a thong.
And so,

You're Brazilian.
If you're Brazilian, you go to the carnival.

At the carnival, you need to park.

If you have a train station, you have a high-speed train.
That's it, it's simple.

- President Papin has better things to do
than answer the phone.

- Imagine the number

of disgruntled who call?

*—Palace of the Elysée, I'm listening.

- Ben, there it is.
Yes, hello!

It's Jeff Tuche on the camera.

I want to speak to the president
About

from the TGV station to Bouzolles.

*—You are in communication
with the Elysée.

-Read that in the meantime.

*—You are in communication
with the Elysée. Don't leave.

*You are in communication
with the Elysée.

*Don't leave.
We'll answer you.

*You are in communication
with the Elysée.

*Don't leave.
We'll answer you.

*You are in communication
with the Elysée.

*Don't leave.
We'll answer you.

*You are in communication
with the Elysée.

*Don't leave.
We'll answer you.

*You are in communication
with the Elysée.

*Don't leave.
We'll answer you.

*Tone

*Palace of the Elysée, hello.

*Hello?

*What can I do for you? Hello?

He hangs up.

- The Tuche, I took

a big decision.

- You cut your hair?

-Why? It's good
with her foamy hair.

- I introduce myself
in the presidential election.

- It's a good decision
But you mow the lawn first.

- I gotta shave my armpits,
It stings!

- You know you don't have a chance?
- I know.

I just want us to talk

from my TGV station.
- Dad,

You speak like Francis Mitterrand.

- No, François.

- I'm talking about the president.
-Hello.

- Ah, my Donald,
You don't know the best.

-Dad runs for the presidential
to be

President.

Exactly. What do you think,
Coin-Coin?

-Ben, my Coin-Coin...

- It's the idea that your father presents himself
in the election that scares you?

I don't know if that's it, but...

I...

I got like a ball here,
that grows bigger.

- A ball of petanque?
-No...

A billiard ball.

- A billiard ball...

Mysterious whispers

We'll have the TGV, Monnier.

- And here we are gone
during the election campaign.

We had visited Monaco, America,
but never France. Too stupid!

It was an opportunity to discover
our beautiful country.

Coin-coin didn't want to come.

Pity,
It would have done her cuberté good.

Brass band

...

*—If you want a high-speed train...
*— Vote for the Tuche!

- Did you see my bastard banner?

How people know
that your father is Jeff Tuche?

- Well, they just have to ask me.
- You're gratined. Pfff!

*—If you want a high-speed train...
*— Vote for the Tuche!

*—If you want a high-speed train...
*— Vote for the Tuche!

*—If you want a high-speed train...

*—VOTE FOR THE TUCHE!

-My husband and I have always had
a great respect for the potato.

It's okay, it's cheap,
Everybody likes it.

-Hello. I have 10 left.

- Vote Tuche.
- I have 9 left.

- Vote Jeff Tuche.

- Jeff Tuche's project,

it's double ration of fries,
every lunch and for everyone!

Applause

- I have 8 left.
- Vote Tuche.

- I have seven left.

- Vote Jeff Tuche.
- I got enough left.

*—Facebook!
*—This case!

*—JEFF TUCHE PRESIDENT
*Screams of joy

*'-'

- Is it okay, Dad?

- That's good, my Will. It's eco-friendly.
Don't spoil paper.

-My father will have places built.
where you can leave your children.

- Cribs, what.

-Great idea!

We're gonna call it that.

- OKAY.

-Here, look,

It slams!
Look, it's better there, isn't it?

- It's serious how serious you are!

-Why?

-We go to meet
of this friendly candidate, Jeff Tuche.

For a few weeks he has been crisscrossing

the roads of France, passing from village
in the village on board his bus

with his family.
And it's a great adventure.

*—What is your program?

*—My program? Broad question.

* I hesitate between Koh-Lanta
and The Voice.

*Should mix them. Blackmail
in a swimsuit of hungry people.

*—No, your presidential program.
*—Ah, okay!

I didn't understand. It's simple.
It's simple.

*A TGV in Bouzolles.

*And by ricochet, a TGV
in every village in France.

We'll have seen everything, Bichon.

- That would be the ideal opponent
for your re-election, Mr. President.

-Too bad he'll never have
its 500 signatures.

- No, there's no, there's no.
No signature, no gratin.

You don't know me, do you?

- Vote for my mother's husband.
- Vote Tuche.

-Why?
- That's my name.

-They're hurting France,
the French.

It's painful for them.

It's simple,
i do not hesitate to say that.

I'm in favour of national preference.

The real Frenchmen first.

The others, outside!

- I can see the idea.
Just, I have a question.

What were we?
before being French?

- Gauls.

- And before?

- We were Celtic.

- No, we've never been seven.

Historical error.
We were at least 200.

That wants to become president!
Well, this case, what!

Anyway, what were we before?

- I don't know!

-Tadpoles! We were tadpoles.

We all lived in the same pond.
You think we were thinking:

“The Cameroonian tadpole, you get out.”

“Malagasy, you get the hell out.”

-What?

Will imitates the toad.
-What?

He's rapping.
Master toad on his perched tree

Held in his beak a cheese
Thug life

- Me, I say:

Vote Jeff Tuche!

Journalists Brouhaha

It's okay. It's good!

-... -

- Unknown a month ago,
it is the candidate who comes up.

*—Tuche won 2 points again
this week.

*—It's not a TGV
in every village...

*—The polls speak for themselves.

-Donald, I wanted to ask you

to draw me your family
on the first sheet.

And on the next one, whatever you want.

-Jeff Tuche, the candidate that no one
was waiting, is at 7% in polls.

*—How far will this candidate go

*whose program is
to have the TGV stop in Bouzolles.

- I'm soon at 2 grams,
We have to go!

- In an interview, you'll say
that I'm not your sister?

- I'll say you're a chipolata.

-7%!
I hear it's a lot.

- It's huge!
Out of seven Frenchmen, 100 vote for you.

*—Jeff Tuche,
the surprise of this campaign.

Skidding

-Watch out, Grandma!
- In France, we drive to the right.

- Already you don't have the license.
-Where are the airbags stored?

- Nor God! Neither master!

- Good.

So this is the big one, is your father?

- No, it's me.

And underneath,

it's my family.

Okay.

And what is this?

- Well, it's a flower.

Lively music

...

-Stephanie Stéphanie Stephanie Tuche
voted.

Charlotte Sylvie Mignonette
Tuche voted.

...

- Magic!

-Wilfried Jacquou

Bruce Lee Tuche voted.

Donald Albert Rainier Tuche
has fucked.

-Excuse me?

...

-Catherine Marie Josée Mireille Sylviane
Odile Simone...

- Not all of them.

Well, Cathy Tuche voted.

- You okay, José?

- It's okay.

...

Jeff Jacquou Zizou

Tuche voted.

- Zizou Tuche?

I'm mayor, I've arranged
with the civil status. Come on.

Brouhaha from the bar

-... -

- Monnier, I told you.
that someone would talk about me at the Elysée.

You don't think you win?
- Yes, I'm gonna win.

Not the election, but you'll see,
TGV station, we're gonna get it.

Bouzolles, Bouzolles,
Two minutes stop!

- Yeah, it's not Jeff president,
It's Jeff Station Manager, isn't it?

*—3, 2,1 .
- Shut up, it's the results.

It's 8:00. Here are the results
of the first round of the election.

*Michel Papin, 28% of the votes

*and Laurent Dupuis, 24% of the votes
will face each other in the second round.

*In 3rd position,
the far-right candidate,

*Jean-Jacques Pétadier, 18%.

*4e, the ecologist candidate,

*Antoine Lebiot, 12%.

*59 and it's a huge surprise,
Jeff Tuche

*with 11%.

Screams of Joy

-... -

- It's not true!

- We'll have the TGV
YES TO BOUZOLLES

We're gonna have the TGV
YES TO BOUZOLLES

...

*—... qualified for the second round,
is out of race.

-Wait! Wait! Wait!

Listen!
*—Laurent Dupuis has just been arrested.

*He is accused of drug trafficking,
trafficking in organs,

*robbery, procuring

*and fictitious employment of his wife
as Parliamentary Attaché.

*The first images
of his arrest.

- I understand that my actions
may have shocked.

I'll draw the consequences.

I apologize especially for the fictitious job
of my wife. I shouldn't have.

*—So it's the candidate
of the Outer Party,

*Jean-Jacques Pétadier, 3rd with 18%

*which will be opposed
to President Michel Papin.

Excuse me,
i am discovering that information.

*—Jean-Jacques Pétadier
has just been removed.

*following a video
loop over the Internet.

*"Dansay”
(D. Lynch-Shyllon)

*. —

*—Good well... Live priority.

*We join Campaign HQ
of Pétadier.

Hooes

*—Yes, I like the cut-offbeat.

*We can be a good Frenchman and...

*—So this is the ecological candidate,
Antoine Lebiot

* that we find in the second round.

*Wait...

*—A shocking cliché

*has just reached us.
We see Antoine Lebiot

*pose proudly next to adead panda.

*—It is therefore, to the general surprise,
Jeff Tuche

*which will be opposed
to President Michel Papin.

*They will meet next Monday
for the debate on the second round.

*—Chamallow is in the elevator.
Dragibus arrives gate C.

- Over here, Mr. Tuche.

*—A journalist is requested
in the newsroom. I repeat...

- Only Mr. Tuche

can walk through that door.

Dramatic music

...

We don't know what can happen.
So, Cathy,

If I don't get out of it...

Don't talk like that, Jeff.

It's important...

You're giving Nevada to Will.

Okay, Jeff.

- I hid a box
in the garden.

Inside, you'll find
the address of our bank.

...

- Thank you, Jeff.

- We gotta go, Mr. Tuche.

...

- I love you.

...

-We, too.

- We love you too.

...

-Courage, Dad!

...

*—Antenna in 3... 2... 1...

Broadcast Credits

...

-Good evening, Michel Papin.

-Good evening.

- Good evening, Jeff Tuche.
-Good evening.

- Good evening, Daniel.

- Good evening, Isabelle. Good evening to all.

*Welcome to this debate
of the intertwins.

- Look, that candidate.
looks like Dad!

- But it's him.
- I know that, but he looks like him.

- It's gonna bea good night!
* —... equal speaking time.

-Mr. Tuche, the draw

has appointed you to begin with.

-How would you make a better

President than Mr. Papin?

- I don't want to be president.

I just want a TGV in Bouzolles.

Mr. Papin, he's fine
as head of France.

-Well!

I think he did well.
- He lost?

- It's crazy.
as he looks like him.

- That was my second round debate.
the shortest.

I wish Mr. Tuche a good return
in his village of Brizoule.

Bouzolles in the Limais.

In any case, Mr. President,

it is an honour to meet you.

*And think about my TGV station.

*Huh?
*—Yes, of course. Call me.

- Already done. It's impossible to have you.

- I rarely answer

myself. It's not that simple.

- If it's simple.
It's ringing, you pick up.

- No, it's not that simple.

- Yes.

-No.

- Yes.

-No.

- Yes.

-No.

- Yes.

*—No.

*—Yes.
- Then we're not in bed.

- I never lose at that game.

You know, Mr. Tuche,

exercise of power
involves a workload

and a gift of self

who sometimes invites you...

- Oh, it's too long!

-Excuse me?
-Too long!

I did this, I did this.

Me, Jeff. You, Michel.

Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.

There, the French,
they put themselves in pajamas and they zap

on The Experts in Miami.

- Don't speak on their behalf.
- I know them.

I'm unemployed, just like them.

-An unemployed person who won

$100 million to the lottery.

- Right. 100 million!

And an unemployed man who also worked.

-Mr. Tuche?

- I confess. I made the mistake

to work.
And I would like to address

to all young people... Where? There.

The young people who look at us,

don't fall into work.

Even if someone
approaches you on the street

and offers you an internship.

Run away! Run away!

That's what I'm doing
in my village,

a campaign of “pretentiousness”.

-The town hall of Birzolle,

it's good,
but that is 66 million people.

The world's fifth military power!

About this, do you know

at least how many
of nuclear submarines

we own?

- What's he got involved in?
- I think I'm on a bad trip.

- I'd say 100 too, Grandma.

*—Can I take the 50-50?

Laughs

- It's nice to make a fart,
but here,

it is national defence.

- But I don't know.
And I don't care, I'm seasickness.

And I don't know how many stars there are
on the flag.

And you know how many unemployed there are,
Right, Papin?

- If we could avoid

to tute each other.
- I mean, “you,”

But you're all alone, so I say “you.”
Right, Papin?

-Mr. Papin, answer.

How many unemployed are there?

- We listen to you. Right, Papin?
- That's enough now!

There are more than 3 million unemployed
in France.

Are you happy?
- Good answer. One point for Papin!

How many do you know by name?

I know a lot of them. Yes,
I know a lot of them. You got Durand Thierry,

*Cathy's cousin in Saint-Crécelle.

You got Monnier, my neighbor, a jerk
but an unemployed person, his only quality.

*— You're inaudible.

This debate is sterile. I'm not listening anymore.

- What are they for you,
your ears?

Right, Papin? Daddy!

- That's enough with my ears!

They're normal!

Maybe slightly

taken off but no more than average.
No?

Intriguing music

Frankly?

Let us go back to the unemployed,
if you will.

-Don't give a damn about the unemployed.

-Excuse me?

- I don't care.

Do you understand? Can't you hear me?

You... You all disgust me!

*Postal workers, computer scientists,
teachers,

*hairdressers, peagists.
*—We understand, Mr. Papin.

*—I'm not finished!
Secretaries, florists, garage owners,

*veterinarians, beauticians,
electricians,

*garbage collectors, plumbers, dentists, bartenders,

*gardeners, cooks,
farmers, intermittent,

*doctors, bus drivers,

'Journalists, architects..
-Oh, my God!

*—The lighthouse keepers,
housewives, market gardeners,

notaries,...

The Tuche!

-Oh!
- What a bastard!

Mr. Tuche...

Anything to add?

- No, I have nothing to say.

He did it again!

He did it again! Have you seen it?

He did it again! Duck, go!

You bastards!

- No, Bouzolles.

It's 8:00.

It's 8:00.

*This is the face of the new president
of the French Republic,

*Jeff Tuche, elected with 57% of the vote.

*—The President's Renault 21 Nevada
rolls towards the Elysée.

*The future president
drives his own car.

*A sign of breaking with tradition.
*Mermaids

*—Beware my Jeff,
There's the police in front. We're surrounded.

*We don't drive fast,
he has more than one point.

*—Cathy,
Don't tell us about our lives, either.

*—We see the president's daughter

*and the mother.
*—I'll make myself the whole cellar of the Elysée!

*—A priori, she says she's happy
for his son.

*—Excuse me,
Is the Elysée still far away?

*Because I don't have a lot of gas.

*—Where would there be a pump?

*Here, here! Stop here.

*—A few more meters
and President Papin

*will welcome his successor
in the courtyard of the Elysée Palace,

* to the sound of the Republican Guard.

*—Keep it to you!

Present weapon!

-Hello!

Hello.

- Mr. President.
-Hello.

Be careful,
the second one cracks a little.

Music of the Republican Guard

Come on!
Wait for me. Wait for me.

...

-Hello.

Hello! Look how beautiful it is!

Hello! Hello!

Look, it's the president,

with his wife.

...

-HELLO!

- This is my wife, Cathy,
my mother,

two of my children.

The third is not here,
He's got a fire in his underwear.

Anyway, no hard feelings, Mr. President.
I voted for you.

- Come on, Monique, let's go. Sorry.

-Good...
- Not very kind.

-He's in trouble?
- He can say thank you.

Journalists Brouhaha
who call Mr. Papin

- You don't make a transfer?

A statement, Mr. Papin.
- Good courage.

- To the president?

- No, to the French.

-... -

- Papin!

- Stop it!

- It's okay. If we can't laugh anymore!

- We can laugh.
but the ears are intimate.

- Mr. President,
I'm Bernard Bichon.

Hello.
- Secretary General.

I worked for President Papin.

So, I would understand,
of course,

that I'm not... let's say...
renewed in my duties.

- Are you like the trustee's guy?

- You show us a tour, then.

- With pleasure.

- We're going.

-Over here.
- Magnificent!

Isn't that beautiful?
- It's beautiful, isn't it?

-The great staircase of the Elysée.
Okay.

Hello!

Bichon, he looks like Saturnin Gigot,
the garage owner.

- The one with a nose
to dig up strawberries? You're right.

- It's beautiful! Is there an elevator?

- This is the golden living room.

Your office, Mr. President.
- I won't be here often.

-Direct lines
of Presidents Trump and Putin.

Okay.

-Here is a magnificent view of the park.

- That's a lot to mow, isn't it?
-I love it!

- No, Miss Stephanie!
Please, it's a Ming

that the Emperor of Japan
offered to Pompidou. Rest him.

It's priceless.
- It's just a vase.

-No! He's a Louis Suze, Grandma XVI.

A Louis XVI, Grandma Suze. It's fragile.

- Bernard! For us, it will be lino.

Carpets take the dust.

- Mrs. First Lady,
you can change.

- It's okay then.
- Bichon! There's a lot of play in the handle.

Note it on the state of play.

I want my bail.

All right, Tuche, should we take it?

-YES!

-How much is it?

You won't have rent or bail,
it is the Republic that lodges you.

- We pay for the heating
otherwise we won't feel at home.

-Put this phone down
Hello, Trump?

Hello, Putin? Hello, Trump?
*—Hello?

- We're all at the Élysée
YES WE TUCHE

WE ARE ALL AT THE Élysée
YES WE TUCHE

- Here are the kitchens of the Elysée.

- The bastard kitchen!
- Absolutely.

Intriguing music

-Wow!

I've rarely seen such a beautiful kitchen
of my life.

Is that at least a Mobalpa?

-Hello!
-Hello!

-Hi, little ass.
-Hello!

- This is our leader.
Hello.

- Enchanted.
- Mrs. Tuche.

Mr. President. Eric Jouteux.

- Playful!

Stephanie laughs.

- The chef of the Elysée.

- You're gonna catch me
of potatoes

and make fries.
- Potatoes.

- No, “from the earth.”
Where do the potatoes come from?

- Of the earth?

- Yes, not from the sky.

We're not there.
-And plan the samurai sauce.

-Samurai?
-Mayonnaise

who stings! She stings so hard
that your eyes sting. Samurai!

Jeff laughs.

- Playful!
She laughs.

- It's big here.

You gotta buy bicycles.

- It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.

The Napoleon Lounge.

President Chirac's favorite place.

And then here, on your left...

-Oh!

-The famous beer library!

-Wow!

- Your attention, please.

General Exclamation of Admiration

Applause

No! Stop it! Stop it!

Sizzling

That's it. It's gone.

French fries, French fries at the Élysée

FRIES, FRIES
Élysée Fries

-My father is elected president.
It's a nightmare!

- I can't believe it.

Donald, it's absolutely necessary
get away from this family.

We're going to go to therapy in the wild,

far from all this tumult.

Tell your mother
so she doesn't worry.

Pass me the yugourt.

- No, Dad, we say “yogurt.”

- No, a yayurt.

- That's enough.
Give your father a yagurt.

-Ah of the visit! Are you okay? Coffee?

- Mr. President,
we come

introduce you to the nuclear suitcase.

-It's good!

Welcome, Captain Flame.

So, you're a good guy.

-A Samsonite!

- The nuclear suitcase is still

in the hands of your aide-de-camp.

- I'm running. Put your bowls

in the dishwasher. Presidential but...
- YES, YES.

Mr. President, listen carefully,
that is important.

- All I do is listen.

Mr. President, here is

the nuclear suitcase.

-Juan had the same one.

His panty suitcase.

I miss him.

Alarms

-No! Don't touch anything!
- Grandma! That's not possible!

- General Grandpierre

keep the first key
and here is the second one.

I'll give it to you. Don't ever lose her.

- All this cinema!

Look what I'm doing.

I tie it around my neck.

And when I sleep,

I'll put it in my mouth.

- Mr. President,

could we have a conversation?

in your office?
- Of course.

If I want to attack,

I'll call you.

I don't have to lose her.
One time, I lost 15 cards.

We can lose a card,
but not 15!

But yes, we can.
- It's interesting.

Mr. President of the Republic!

- It's not possible
to scream like that! You're crazy.

You want me to do
vascular arrest?

He's crazy! Do you know him?

- It's the bailiff charged
to announce to you.

It's time to build
your government.

- Oh, yeah, you told me.

I'll call.

Don't move.

-Hello, Dede? It's Jeff.
-Oh, hi!

- You okay?
- Good and you?

- Yes, quiet. Are you at the bar?

- Yes, it's 10 o'clock,
It's the aperitif.

- Are they here, buddies?
- Obviously.

- Put me on speaker.
- It's Jeff.

- You okay, guys?
-Yes. And you, how's it going?

- Quiet. Say,
Would you like to be a minister?

-BAH...

- Why not if it can help you.

-Super
- Must see.

- Is that where to go?
- In Paris.

They laugh.

Clamor of disapproval
Yes, I understand.

I understand. Come on, see you later.

They don't want to, huh.

I don't know what to do.

Maybe I have another idea. Come on.

- And what is this?
- THE VITELOTTE.

- And?

- THE BINJE!

- The binje! The potato,

that was created...

for the fries.

Good...

Chief, his binje, what does he do with it?

- We're peeling it.

-Yes.

- We wash it.

-No! Fatal error!

The binje can't be washed.

And why can't the binje wash?

Who knows?

Yes, kid?
- It removes the starch.

- Good! Oh no, there's no, there's no.
We're not there.

- That's it. Here.

Drop it in the bakeries.
I found Nevada like this.

-"Urgent.
Seeking minister to lead France,

“Monday to Friday.”

- Exactly.

*—Classifieds
deposited in bakeries

*are a real success.

*These are on average 200 French
per day

*who apply
for the post of prime minister.

- He doesn't suspect anything?
- No, Mr. President.

He doesn't know
that I work for you.

- Okay, first,

arrange
to be appointed Prime Minister.

Surround yourself with trusted people.

And let him act.

In two months, he resigns.

How do you find my ears,
Bichon?

- Uh... small and glued, sir.

You can barely see them.

I'll leave you.

I'm going back to the Elysée.

-May-son...

- Mr. President...

Engine

-... -

Jeff sings.

-Oh, my God!

- And I tend to the Elysée
I'm Jeff Tuche.

...

- Mr. President!
- Bichon, come on, I'm not finished.

-You are expected at the bottom of the park
for the official photo.

Jeff, don't you forget to come and help me.
to fold the sheets.

- I can't hear, I'm president.

Hang on! Fast and Furious.

- Madam President.
-Yes?

Ooh! Sophisticated! Wow!

Rose-shaped fries?

It's not a flower, the potato,
it is a fruit.

So here... Even better there.

The fries spring? Huh?

Why not bolted tomatoes?

And what did you cook them in?

- Ben, in the oil.
-Ben, no!

It's in beef white!
We need fat!

Yo not, ya not we're not there

But we'll be there.
- We're going, Cyril.

You're not crying right now?

Eric!
He's crying.

- Jacky! Hey, Jacky!

My Jacky! Look, it's Jacky!

I'm glad to see you.
How are you, Jacky?

- You realize?

The official photo of the Elysée!
It's...

This is the happiest day of my life.

- I understand. How do we do it?
I have an idea.

I'm on the tractor.

-The official photo
asks for a little outfit.

- Of course, you're right.
I'll put on the jacket.

What do you think, Jacky?

Huh? Hey, Jacky?

Am I elegant now?

-Ah, yes!

- Go on, Jacky, I'm ready.

Be careful.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Calm down. Breathe.

Take your time. It'll be fine.

Jacky Clic-clac!
He's sensitive, Jacky.

Like the film.

That's what makes her talent.
Do you understand that, Bichon?

-Yes.
- Go ahead, Jacky.

- With me. Over here.

- I'm here.

No, Jacky...
Shit, I don't see anything.

-Change your eye.

-Excuse me.

She's good...

- Hi, Bichon, are you okay?

Hello, Mr. Will.

- Have you seen Nestor, my bodyguard?
-No.

- He's strong in hiding.

- Bichon, mutate me. Wherever you want.
- Nestor!

-Saint Pierre and Miquelon,
the Kerguelen, the Grande Motte.

I can't stay here.
I don't just have to do that, Nestor.

- Nestor! Oh, damn I see you!
Oh, no, it's not you.

Nestor!

- It's beautiful, our president!

- When's your parade?
- In three weeks. I'm broken.

Yesterday, I worked from 11:00 to 3:00.
I don't have a life. I'm disgusted.

-This pouffe Alliénor Veront
got the Goncourt.

- I liked his book
but yes, it's a puffer.

And she smokes menthol.
-His book

on gender equality,
It's bullshit !

- No, it's trendy.
My Pants

without a fly have cardboard.

- Remember Guitry:

“I would agree that women

“we are superior

“if it discouraged them
to claim to be our equals.”

Excuse me.
I was listening unintentionally and...

It's really super beautiful
what you're saying!

Barna Bé. Enchanted. Marc, a friend.

-Marc Olage, creator and...
Barnabas! I love it!

-My name is Barna.
and my name, Bé.

- Me, it's Stephanie.

-Excuse me...

I'm troubled...

I thought the love at first sight

was a view of the mind
but I got caught.

- I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, but...

I'm all... all swollen.

-How?

Barna Bé...

- Mr. President...
- Bichon, take the wipe

and help me.

- Mr. President,

we received 745 people.

And I'm afraid among them,

there is no
of potential prime minister.

-A Prime Minister,
he's a captain.

I thought about Coin-Coin,

But he's got the underwear on fire.
So who?

- Maybe someone
who knows the workings well

of the Republic
and who would already have

worked in several governments.

- I don't see.

Plastics,

it's the hardest to make it shine.

The secret is it...

Why don't you do it?

He touches the horn.

-Me?

- Who else? We're only two.
I'm already president.

- Yes, I'm stupid.

I hadn't thought about it.

-Tope here, my Bichon!

- Mr. President,
as Prime Minister,

I have prepared a list
of competent people.

- Let's see.

You don't have a replacement.

What if you have a slap?

- Uh...

Thierry the hermitte?

He laughs.
- It's a namesake.

- Homonym? No!

Thierry L'hermitte, he loves women.

Be careful what you say.

It's not good to throw rumors.

Say sorry.

-Excuse me.
-Good.

Take whoever you want. Go on!

I have my rims to finish.

Thierry L'hermitte, namesake...

( —I am Prime Minister)

Brass band ringtone of the phone

-Yes?

- Mr. President,
he named me Prime Minister.

You want to eat gingerbread?

-No. I'm Prime Minister.

- I can't hear anything right now.

- I'm prime minister, damn it!

- Ah, no!

“ Bichon?
-No. No. No!

I hate vulgarity.

Next time,
I'll wash the margoulette with soap.

Apologize.
Excuse me, Mrs. First Lady.

- Mrs. First Lady, my ass.
- First lady, my ass.

- I just told you,
I hate vulgarity.

Did you find my mini market?

- Right, you really want
do your groceries?

- I've always done this.
I have my Bouzolles trolley.

Unstoppable. I've had it for 20 years.

-So,
there's a small Netto supermarket,

right across the street, fine.

- I bring you something?

From the Dec?
- No, thank you.

Are you going now?
- Yeah, or what are we eating tonight?

*—Yes?
Operation Cart.

Repeat, Operation Caddie.

*—Is that good? Do you see her?

I don't see her anymore. I don't see her anymore.

*—She's coming to Philip's radius.

Excuse me...

Excuse me.

*Wherever it is the milking radius,
for the butter?

The... Butter...

-Cool radius, first aisle on the right
4th shelf,

*next to frozen foods.
-Fresh radius,

First aisle on the right,
4th shelf,

next to the frozen foods.
-Ah, yes.

Say it, it's accurate.

- I beg you,
Madam President...

- So, 25...

He's changing his voice.
25 euros 80.

Yes. By card.
*—The kilo of potatoes in promotion

*in your supermarket at 1 euro 50.
- Very good.

Thank you very much.
*—I repeat...

-Goodbye!
-Bye, ma'am.

-So? We're not good like this,
in the middle of nature?

Come and see, Donald.

Those ladybugs,
they get to know each other.

Patience...

An example of me

and overme.

Solemn music

...

Tell me...

You wouldn't have a sister.
who works at the convenience store?

- Negative, Madam President.

...

- Good day!

...

Tick the clock

-... -

- The president will not be long.

He must... be in the train
to prepare its files.

Mr. President of the Republic!

- It's not possible to scream like that.

Sit! Sit!

Already, more Council of Ministers,
in the morning.

Laughs

No, don't laugh, I'm serious.

-The word
is to the Minister of the Economy,

Mr. Thierry The Hermitte.

- Mr. President,

the key to success

of your quinquennium
will be to revive growth

of the country.
Give me the confiot.

Thank you, my friend.

Tick the clock

-... -

Tartine!

Click the toaster

- Impressive!

- I know the time
of all the toasters.

-And in order to achieve this goal,
I advocate...

-Great. Great.
Who is the Minister of Sport?

- It's me, Mr. President.

Guy Stephane Hervé.

- Three names! Your mother
wanted triplets, she was disappointed.

Is that it?
He laughs.

You better win the World Cup.

That's what the French are waiting for.

If you win, everyone gets fishing.

And if we have fishing,

We got the potato.
If you got the potato, you got the fries.

If you got the fries, you got the ketchup.

If you got the ketchup, you got the mayo.

If you have the mayo and ketchup,
You got the American sauce.

If you have the American sauce,

You're a cowboy.

And so you got cows.
So you got milk.

And you got cheese.

And who's the cheese country?
France.

That's how we'll straighten the country.

- Of course, Mr. President.

What a great idea!
- Stay seated.

What do you have to wash?
I'm throwing a detergent.

- Yes, me. Here, here.

Take this. Smells like sheep.

Jeff laughs.
- While I think about it, right now...

Can you get rid of your stuff?

I don't have eight arms. I'm not an octopus.

Thank you!

- How's he doing, Gerard Jugnot?

-Well...

Brouhaha

-... -

Hello, girls!

HELLO, MADAM TUCHE!

- You answer all of you?
- No, there's too many calls.

-No,
we answer all the French.

It's a promise from my husband.

I'll show you.

Where are we picking up?
- Here, Madam President.

Okay. Listen.

Palace of the Elysée, hello.

Cathy Tuche on the camera.

Yes, herself.

-An indispensable meeting
for the reconstruction...

-Sit down, sit down.

Where's he Jeff?
He told us:

“I have to go to the wa-wa”?

- There's a good hour!

Whoever it is

the minister of math? From school?

- National Education.

-No, the minister

from school, it has nothing to do with it.

- Uh... it's me...

- Can you come with me?

-Yes.

- It won't be long.

but it's urgent. Thank you.

Brouhaha
Did you read the statement correctly?

Read it again if you can't.

No, no! I'm always with you,
madam... Leroux.

The Minister of the School
is doing your daughter's duty.

It's not gonna be long.

Huh?
-No...

It's... It's not obvious.
-If you can't,

how do you
that the kids get out of it?

There's a program problem!

Yes, yes, yes, Mrs. Leroux.

- You'll see...

She's very nice.

-Hello!

-Donald...

This is Vanessa
which also has problems

connection between her self,
his that and his superego.

-Hello!

Hello.

-So...
You're going to pick up each

a shell that looks like you.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, hop! Come on, we're looking.
We're looking.

Ouch!

Ouch!

*Electro music

* .. —

*—This collection I wanted it...

*Transparent...

*Li... li... li... liquid.

*Liquid.. amniotic...

Water... ter... amniotic.

*I worked on the merger

*water, metal and fire.

*Fire.

*I want the body
expresses what he is.

*Lib... lib. Liberty.

* Freedom.

*The body is a freedom.

* .. —

“ Oh, my God!

I've never seen a fishmonger
as great!

-His inspiration,
It's Medieval Japan and Le Vésinet.

A genius. Look.

We're somewhere else.
-Fashion, I know.

I was Miss Bouzolles.

The hammerhead shark eats nails.

Catfish,
He's eating kibbles.

- I'd like to meet your parents.

Screams of joy

- Ben... come home.

Do we say Monday in eight?

* .. —

- Uh... Monday is the 7th.

* .. —

- So we say Monday in 7.

-Great!

-Great.

- Sardines?
- I don't know.

-They eat oil.

* .. —

- Where's Grandma?

* .. —

There...

* .. —

Cheers

.*:.. -

Cry

- Bichon, it's President Papin.
Can you hear me now?

Then we have to do this fast.

*It must absolutely
meet the press.

*” will be ridiculous.
-Yes. I'll take care of it right away.

We knock.
-Who's that?

- Mr. President...
-Go home, Bichon! Shh! There!

*—Joanna, it's up to you.
*—Five letters.

*—Mathieu?
*—No better.

- Tarin.

*T—A-R-I-N
- Tarin.

*Yes. It's well done.

*Tarin: synonym of nose.

*Employee when the employee is large,
of an unusual or unsightly form.

- Mr. President...

You must meet...

Look, it's my mother!
*Heavy metalmusic

* .. —

*—You perfume...

You're drunk.

* .. —

*—Water of Suze.

By Marc Olage.

- Did you see how good she is?

- She's perfect.
Mr. President,

you need to meet the press

to mark
the beginning of your quinquennium

and present your ideas.

-My id... My ideas, of course.

Of course, my ideas.

Of course, my ideas...

I have lots of ideas.

I think of things...

It's bumping in my head.

- Mr. President...
-You're strong, Bichon.

Did you see that when I don't know,
i pretend to think.

People are embarrassed and are leaving.

But it doesn't work with you.
-No.

-You're a smart man, my Bichon.
You're cunning like a toucan.

Go ahead, call the press.

- I summon her here?

-No. I have a better idea.

Ladies and gentlemen, we can
begin questions to the president.

I would ask you not to ask

only one question at a time.
-Yes.

Bernard Mechelen, Challenge.

Why Crotaise Hill?

-Ah! Good already,

a few numbers.

Fly flying,
We're 5 km from Bouzolles. Right there.

Well... We're 12 yards away.
above sea level.

You don't care, there's no sea.

But such figures,
It gives the turn.

Third digit...

The eight!

This is where I had a vision.

I was 8 years old.

I saw a flying saucer.
And at his window,

There were some...

How do we say it again? Some...

Daniel Verieux, West France.
Curtains?

- No, not curtains!
I know the curtains.

Finally! You see, some...

Flat pieces of wood

above the others.
Careful, they're not glued.

How are... vasistas?

Lightning? Sunshades?

-Jean-Michel Hervé, from the Figaro.

Linds?

- Linds!
Bravo Le Figaro !

Good... I don't know, what was I saying?

- The flying saucer with a window.

- That's it! The flying saucer...

the blinds rise
And who do I see?

Michel Drucker...

with his dog...

He sangLittle Santa Claus in Breton.

Well, I had a hell of a baked one.

I was stuffed.
-At 8?

-Other questions?
- JDD.

Where are your big ideas
for France?

-You'll get them,
Don't worry.

I think all the time
to France.

Except when I sleep, I think about breathing
otherwise I choke.

But not to forget,

because often,
I have flashes of genius,

I have this.

As soon as I have an idea, I write it
and I put it in my banana.

My idea banana!

The banana!

The banana...

Look, it's the banana.
Flashes crackling

-... -

The banana with ideas.

It's the banana that's gonna give back
banana to France.

If you have the banana, you have the cherry.

So you got the cake.
So you got the cream. So, you don't

of sunburn.
If you don't have the sun,

you're cold
and you got frost on your car.

Then you get a squeegee.

If you got a raclette, you got the cheese.

And who's the cheese country?
France.

Applause

-... -

Soft music

...

- I'm scared.

Miss Stephanie Tuche and her friend!

-Sorry. He can't do anything else.
This case, you!

- Dad, Mom, this is...

Barna Bé.

- Enchanted, Barnabé.

- No, Berne Bé.
- That's what I said,

Barnabas.
Why are you silencing in the middle?

-So, Barna?

-Bé.

-What are you doing in life?

He speaks French very well.

He invents words, like...

Wait, uh...

Paradox or nihilistic.

- I'm a playwright.

-That word, too,

He invented it.
- I write plays.

-AH!

-So there,
you fall into the right family!

-Ah yes?
- We love the theater.

- We love it. It's fine.

-What was the room called
we would have seen

in Barjoule?
Brouhaha

The title?
-Wait... uh...

Knock knock. Who's that?

Laughs

-... -

- That joke!

-... -

Do you know her?

-No.
-No? Oh!

-Tell it. Tell it.
- I'm telling you.

It was a guy's story.

He lived in a large apartment.

With servants and everything.

- Yes, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people.

- And then in the afternoon,

forgive the expression, he was bothering.

Laughs

And so, he sees his mistress,
secretly, like that.

And every time they went for...

Laughs

For the thing...

Finally... You understand.

Someone knocks on the door.

-Yes.
And he said:

“Who is it?”

Right, isn't that it?

-Yes.
- So it was knock knock...

-Who's that?

- It's me.
Knock knock.

-Who's that?
- It's me.

Knock knock.

- It's me.
- I didn't say.

Laughs
- I was wrong.

-... -

- We have to wait, “Who's it?”

Otherwise it doesn't work.
-But yes.

- It's not easy.

- I signed up on Tinder.

I have a date tomorrow with a firefighter!

-... -

- Mouth splitting.

We laugh, we laugh.

- It's that kind of piece
that you write?

- Yes and no.

Pretty no. My last play

is a conversation between a dancer

of the Bolshoi and Stalin.
He laughs.

So it's not...

- You think she's coming.

Play Bouzolles, your play?

- I don't know. I hope.
-We have a very beautiful

theatre-skating-snack.

-Snack.
- At first,

It was just a karaoke snack.

It's hard to say karaoke and snack.

-Snack.
-At the beginning of the meal,

it's okay, but at the end of the meal,
not sure to get there.

Go and see.
-Karaoke snack.

- Grandma knows how to say it.

-Karaoke snack.

- Snack! She said it, Grandma!

Unpayable!

So at first...
- Dad, Mom...

- Yes, I'm sorry.
-Barna...

-... would like

ask you...
- No, not now.

Okay, not now.

- Well, yes. All right, I'm going.

I'd like to write a book
on your daughter.

- Do you realize?

He's gonna write my memoirs!

- Chewbacca, you told Barnabas

when I woke you up

by farting?

Hop there, Matrix

-Good. Barnabas!
-How?

Knock knock!
-WHO IS IT?

- It's me.
-YES!

Laughs

-... -

Knock knock!

- It's me!

- You lost!

Shahut
- You didn't say who.

She explains to him.
Knock knock.

-WHO IS IT?

- It's me!

Shahut

That is.

-Where's the title.

-So? How did you find them?

- Listen, uh...
very very... friendly.

-They loved you. I know them.
Especially Grandma.

- Yeah, she gave me a finger
before you leave.

She laughs.

When you won the lottery,
It must've changed everything, right?

- You, that's it, you start
your book about my memoirs.

We can't hide anything from you.

Did money change your life?

- Well, not really.
We've always been rich, you know.

- I don't understand.
Rich in love.

We love each other very much in my family.
Do you understand?

- Don't tell me you preferred
your life before?

- It's true that it was awkward.

I can tell you something,
But it stays between us?

- You can count on me.

- For the semi-final of Miss Bouzolles,

my parents couldn't
pay me wax

to depilate me.

And...

I had legs
like doormats, you know?

- Yes, yes, more or less.

-Like hedgehog skin leggings.

Like... a chicken neck...

- Yes, I see. And?

- Anyway. My mother,
She finished me with caramel.

I juggled.

But I won.

Are we going to your house or to my house?

She laughs.
- I don't know.

Soft music

- Do we shoot a battery or a face?

- OKAY. Me, I take face. And you?

- Ben... right.

- I'll take it like you.

...

Face...

Oh, no!

...

We both lost.

Well, hey.

...

Tick the clock

-... -

Mr. President of the Republic!

You didn't hear me.
I got to no wolf.

Here, you'll be happy,
all my ideas. I did a good job.

-So...

A banana...

-Yes.

What's she in?

- In a banana.
Jeff laughs.

-... -

- Did you get it?
Laughs

-... -

We laugh, we laugh!

-What's that?
-The double

of the key to the nuclear suitcase.

I had it done at Key Minute.

They kept the original.
We can do it

as long as we want.

- Ha!

Ideas.

“Shit to the one who reads.”

- I'm not the one who says it,
it's the paper.

Jeff's laughing.

-... -

-"Diplomacy:

“do everything to ensure that the Abba group
is reforming.”

- With Cathy, we love Abba.

It's the only band
where the name you can say

on or upside down: Abba. Abba.

Abba... Abba.

- Good, good. Very good, very good.

With such ideas,
in six months, he resigns.

-Beware,
it is stronger than we think.

-He's strong. He's very strong.

But... look.

I know how to defeat him.

I've listed everything, classified, analyzed.

Now, I'm sure...
Intriguing music

Everything brings us back to...

savannah.

The land of Dumbo.

-It's Heritage Day.

The opportunity for the French

to discover
some jewels of the Republic,

to begin with the Palais de l'Élysée.

Ladies and gentlemen,
you go back here

in private apartments
of the President,

who agreed to open it to the public...

What's going on?

- Sorry, Mr. President.

It's Heritage Day.

- The day of the fatherland and the monks.

We didn't hear the alarm clock.

Excuse me, Father.

- I'm gonna take my shower.

Settle in. You set them up.

We have coffee together. I'm coming.

- The word “Elysée”
comes from Greek mythology.

It was a region of the Underworld
where stayed after their death...

-OH!
-... heroes and men...

virtuous
-Bo... oun

She's screaming.
Hello, kids.

Are you okay? Didn't you see Nestor?
It's my bodyguard.

- No... no.
-Mooais...

I'm going over there,
but the other way.

Propulsion.

- Children, gentlemen, ladies,
We're going to... We're going to continue.

This room
is the one where Ms. de Gaulle

loved to share...
She's screaming.

The kids are screaming.

-... -

- You're here to admire
the gold of the...

Mr. President of the Republic!

- Quies balls. I can't hear anything.

Stay seated. So Bichon,
Do you have a visit to Marmiton too?

- Yes, I have a lot of visits
in Matignon.

-I imagine
that you don't want fries.

- No, thank you.

Me, I will.
I'll take care of it.

- I invite you all to the game tonight.
Big nose will take care of it.

Can I talk to you?
- Of course.

Serve yourself, there's coffee, go ahead.

What's my Bichon?

You won't be able to attend
in France-Germany at the Stade de France.

- What are you talking about?

Jeff Tuche missing a game
from France?

But it's never happened since, uh...

It never happened.

Yes, maybe once
before I was born.

- Tonight, you're on an official visit
at Angela Merkel.

- I can't see her
A day when I'm not here?

We had to cancel three times already.

-Three times?

- The first time,
you didn't wake up.

I was asleep.
- The second time, neither.

And the third one, you gave me
a medical certificate,

which I suppose written with your hand.

- Anything.
But I'll give you one again, if you want.

-Germany is our first
economic partner.

And you need to talk to the chancellor
of our Rafale fighter aircraft.

They're hard to sell.

It's very important.

- Does she have TV, Angela?

*"Frida oum daddy”
(Annie Cordy)

* .. —

-Ah...

Annie Cordy...
What a beautiful song!

Cuckoo clock
That's France. It's culture,

music, painting,

cinema, theater.

- Ja. The theater.

Last year,
we laughed so much.

“ Ja.

- What she was called
this play already?

-"Knock knock. Who is it?”

- It's history.

of a beer brewer

which has a large castle.
When his wife

is not here, he receives his mistress.

- But he's still

disturbed by the postman.

Knock knock.

Who's that?
- It's me.

Knock knock. Who's that?

- It's me.
They laugh.

-... -

Well...

My ambition, Mr. Tuche,
is to strengthen the couple

Franco-German.
- What couple?

- I don't know. I'm not listening.
-Mr. Tuche,

Are you with me?

-Excuse me. He's with me.
And for 32 years, by the way.

(In German, bitte)
-Excuse me?

“Cock”? Smells like the thin part.

I'm telling you, it'll be without me.
- Good.

It's time to talk

of European policy.
Okay, Angela.

We'll talk about what you want.

But first, I want to see the game.
“What game?

- The France-Germany match.
You don't know about it?

- If you want Jeff, we'll watch.

But the results of the matches
France-Germany,

we already know them.

She laughs.

-Ah, okay! You want to play.

I'm offering you a bet.
How many are you in Germany?

- 80 million.

- If you win the game,

I offer a bottle of Champagne
to every German.

And if you lose, you buy me 10 Rush.

Anyway,
nobody wants it.

So, Angela, are you following me?

Music of Suspense

- Contract concluded!

Get your bottles ready, Jeff.
The Mannschaft

won't lose this game.

- That's what we'll see.

*—Sch weinsteiger
pass the French defense!

*And goal!
-No! No!

It's the disaster!
- Bravo Jeff Tuche.

Thanks to you, the French
will drink sparkling for 10 years.

- So Jeff,
Do we have a little tactical problem?

- Yeah, well, huh...
French champagne!

We are the ones who offer it.
- Me, I'm not mixing.

Where are you going ?
*—Disappointment reads on the faces.

*—Didier Deschamps, Mr. President.
Players listen to you.

-All right, guys,
listen carefully to what i have to say.

This isn't Jeff Tuche the president.
who is talking to you.

It's Jeff. Supporter.

the lover of the beautiful game.

Now, I can tell you that Jeff,

He's not happy.

He's got his little heart bleeding.

I even saw children crying,
in the stands.

I saw dogs screaming to death.

If it's to play like that,

I agree,
better stay on the bus.

Like you,
I quit school in third grade.

But I won
the presidential election.

If I did,
you can do it too!

But for that, you're going to have to
Wet this beautiful blue jersey.

At the end of the game,
he feels so loud

that when you send it
in the stands, we send him back to you.

We give everything!

We're going to the end!

At the end of his dreams!

Where reason ends.

At the end of his dreams!
Is that understood?

Epic Music
*—YES!

- I can't hear.
*—YES!

*—They're super motivated,
Mr. President.

- I can't hear!
*—YES!

Snoring

Opening a zipper

Snoring

-... -

Soft music

...

- I'm from Bouzolles!
Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes!

Jeff screams with joy.

-... -

Four-three!

Victory!
It sounds the fog horn.

The Rafales, I'll have them delivered to you
Wednesday. Will someone be there?

- Ja, ja.

-Come on, kiss my big one.
Congratulations on the sauerkraut.

Joachim, see you next.
-Goodbye.

Goodbye.

The car's starting.

These Frenchmen are smart.

- And as they say...

They screwed us well.

- I heard you, Angela.

Next time, it's home.

They have nice mugs,
Germans, huh?

Why are you looking at me like that?
- You know very well.

-What?
- I saw well

how you looked at her, the Merkel.

What are you talking about?
I was watching the game.

- Yes, yes.
She laughs.

It's beautiful
The Franco-German couple, here!

She reminds you of the Beatrice.

-What? Again? Beatrice again?

Are you blocked?
I swear, you have a problem.

The 45 laps, it doesn't stop. He's spinning.

- You took her to the firemen ball.

-In '86, I took her.

When did I take her?
In '86.

There's a lapse.

- It doesn't pass, me.

I got it there!
Here, I got it again!

You made him the same eyes
fried whiting.

She does small-scale business.
-Well, yes. Angela,

she is a very beautiful woman.

- You confess.
- One of the most beautiful women in the world.

My Cathy... You know it's you.
as a first lady.

It's not the Merkel.
It's never gonna be the Merkel.

I love you, my chicory.

Soft music
You know that well.

...

And then there,
we're going to do the third half.

Laughs
- In the limo? There are the...

- Wait, look.

The Berlin Wall.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Are you good?
-Wait. Watch out for my prosthesis

hip.
- Don't worry, my chicory.

- I can't do the sideways anymore.

A fly buzzes.

-... -

Blow

- Do you have flies in Matignon?

- Mr. President,
what I have to say to you

is not very pleasant to hear.

But...
The door opens.

- Hello!

-Coin-Coin, my kid!
You're back!

Finally! Come on

in my arms.

I missed you!

- Daddy,

I say thank you. You were right.

- On what?
- About everything.

I don't have my ball anymore. It's gone.

-No? Did you soak your noodle?

Hey, Bichon! He soaked it!

-Oh, my God!
- I wouldn't say it like that

but yes...
- I told your mother.

When he slips the rat, he'll be fine.

Come on, they're here. Come on.

He's blowing.

Cathy! Grandma! Kids!

Coin-Coin has emptied his saddlebags!

- I'll play in Game of Thrones !

- Grandma's right, my Donald.

The first time it has to be done

in a romantic way.

- It's beautiful a naked man.

- I was with a girl.

- My God!
-My Coin-Coin,

That's it, you're a man.

Congratulations, Donald.

-Careful! Atomic Bomb

for my brother!

Screams

It's a 2000 bullet computer.

-And chlorine stains
are hard to review.

- Yes, but this is the opportunity.

-Come. Tell me how it went.
- You're not okay?

It's personal.
- All these books, I've read none.

Come sit down

next to me.

This is Bichon,

the Prime Minister.

He always has stuff to say
-Enchanted

- Enchanted. Good...

The sale of the Rafale is good,
Mr. Jeff. But the situation

economic has not changed.
The crates are empty,

wages do not increase

and purchasing power is at half-mast.

- Well, what can I do?

- So I don't know.
but it's not good at all.

- You don't have a solution?

- If... there's one.

- I'd be delighted to...
to have your point of view.

- It's simple,
it is enough to tax the ACC 40.

- What's this?

-1, 2. 1, 2.
Tuche Daddy. London. Tokyo. Beijing.

Echo in the room

Who is Tuche Daddy mimics?

Is that you, Nestor?

-Five years!

Five years!
He sighs.

- Hey, the one who repeats,
He's a big jerk!

Echo in the room

He laughs.

Echo of laughter
Who's talking?

- I was expecting more people.
What are they? 40?

- That's normal, Mr. Jeff.
It's CAC 40, there are 40.

- It can't be me

- So what about the G20?

He laughs.

- So who is it?

-... -

- There are 20 of them.
- So who is it?

- And Optic 2000, they're 2000.

Jeff's laughing.

(It's okay, don't worry.)

Whispers

Will rapps.
*—Yo yo yo!

*President, President

Will improvises.

...

He stops the music.

- Good. Well, already,

hello, what...

I'm glad to see you. So...

That's it, dad,
Your speech for the Couac.

Gentlemen the great bosses of the Couac

I had an idea for France.

You will pay 3% of your profits
to your employees.

I did it in Bouzolles,
everyone was happy.

Laughter in the room

I swear, huh,

Everyone was happy, happy!
Laughs

-... -

-Make the head,
Will it change something?

No, but what were you expecting
with the Cuac guys?

You thought they'd say:
“Oh yes, that's a good idea!

“We'll give you our money.

“How much do you need?
A billion? Two '?”

-They laughed.
-Yes. Does that remind you nothing?

What did the bosses do
at Billasse? Huh?

When you asked
4 hours break at noon and the jacuzzi,

What did they do?

-They laughed.
-Ben, yes.

And what did my Jeff do?

Well, yes.
-Yes.

*—This is the first time
that a president goes on strike.

*It's historical. Did you
approach the president?

(In English)

Cheers

- One for Tuche, Tuche for one! Yeah!

Festive atmosphere

*If France is crammed,
It's because of the Couac!

IF FRANCE IS CRAMMED,
IT'S BECAUSE OF THE COUAC!

*—And one! And two! And three percent!

- AND ONE! AND TWO! AND THREE PERCENT!

- Go ahead, Cathy.
*—Yes, because...

*If we go that way...

- IF WE GO THAT WAY! IF WE GO THAT WAY!

IF WE GO THAT WAY!

IF WE GO THAT WAY!
- To you, Grandma.

Inaudible

Inaudible

They repeat phonetically
what Grandma said.

Brouhaha

“ President! President!”

-A cone of fries,

please, chief.

Music of Suspense
So...

Clock ticking

The music is intensifying.
The ticking is intensifying.

-... -

Here we are!

Explosion of Joy

-... -

*—French, French,
the country is no longer governed.

Institutions are in danger.
The Republic is under threat.

I draw the conclusions
by resigning from the Tuche government

and requesting
to President Papa... Daddy

to come back immediately.

President Papin, give your ear...

Hear our call and come back.

Long live the Republic! Long live France!

*—The President's Strike

*is supported
by more than 75% of the French.

*Pressure rises for bosses.
Jeff Tuche is determined.

- With what the French sent me

in beer, merguez and potatoes,
I'm holding three years.

The Couac, I have all my time.
I'm quiet.

Peinard.

I'm waiting for you.

Brouhaha of conversations
Soft music

-Thanks to the strike, we were able to
knowledge with all staff.

It was no different from the strikes
that my Jeff was organizing at Billasse.

We've had great nights!

We told each other our lives.

And in the absence of rebuilding the world,
we remade France.

We all wanted the same thing...

That the French and the French...
Sorry.

That the French and the French

live better and work less.

...

And then finally...

*—After 7 weeks of conflict,

*we learn that the bosses of the CAC 40
have agreed to meet

*the president—
*—... in order to negotiate exit

*of this unprecedented strike in France.

- My Jeff won.

So all the French started
to discover his banana with ideas.

All villages would have their TGV.
Of course, it started with Bouzolles.

- I told you
that there was a brass band.

Brass band

-At school, Jeff had imposed

a new material.

We're approaching the room.

And we scratch in the right place.
Careful! We don't overflow, otherwise...

- NO ONE IF DISCOVERED.

- Very good.

- We thought about the tourists.

Now when they go up
on the Eiffel Tower,

They see the Eiffel Tower.

Gendarmerie checks
have been modified.

It's not bad.

-Hello sir, National Gendarmerie
-Hello.

Did I do something wrong?

- No, it's just
a check of how it's going.

- How's it going?

- Good.

Thank you.

- Of course, Jeff thought, too.

to Renault Nevada lovers.

Grandma Suze gave him that idea.

Before, in retirement homes,
it was like that.

Squeaking of the armchairs

And now, with my Jeff,
It's like that!

*Disco Music

* .. —

All good ideas, he got my Jeff.
Right, Jean-Pierre?

*—Novelty

*in the organization
on public holidays.

*The Spot Law will allow you
to benefit from a public holiday

*wind on the public holiday,
to prepare you.

*And from apublic holiday, after the public holiday,
to recover from it.

*It was enough to think about it.

-Hello.
-Good evening.

- The T Family, is it the Tuche?

- Everyone sees what he wants to see there.
It's a novel

quite simply. Is it for?
- Anne.

-"For Anne. With all my friendship
and my number

“cell phone.”

Shh!

-Thank you.

- I have great news.

There? Right now?

I don't understand.

- I'm pregnant!

She laughs.

You're not saying anything?

- You apologize.

It's not in my projects at all!

-Coward!

- OKAY. Quiet, everybody!
Three, two, one...

Generic!

*The Marseillaise

* .. —

- Guess who is it?

It's me.

French, French,
the strike is over. We won.

The Couac will give you money.

You know that the Prime Minister
left the ship. Good riddess.

I always got it in the pif.

I wanted to tell you, with Cathy,
mom and kids,

*that we have lots of ideas
to put in the banana.

*The banana with ideas.

Stephanie's Howling

Stephanie's sobbing.

What is it, sweetheart?

- Mommy...

- What am I doing, Greg?
*—Zoom in on thegirl.

Glue me a piano on this.

*Sad music on the piano
- I 'm pregnant!

- That's good. Good news.

- But no. Barna,

He doesn't want a child.
He manipulated me, that bastard!

I'm screwed.

It's not even on me
that he wrote his memoirs.

-"Is an average Frenchman,
even very medium,

” can govern France?

*"I infiltrated the Tuche family
for many weeks.

*"Between bad taste and inculture, this book

*” will make you laugh or cry.
It's up to you to judge.”

*—How am I going to do it, Mom?

*—Stephanie, my darling,
Your dad's gonna come up with an idea.

*—I don't want this kid,
he is born without a father.

*—Don't worry, Stephanie.

It'll be us, her father.

- It's cut, Mr. President.

*— You just heard
the President of the Republic,

*Jeff Tuche, address the French...
Excuse me.

Barna Bé! Wait! Wait!

- You okay, Barnabé?
Laughs

- No, Barna... further... Bé.

I...

It hurts...

7 months later

-No! No! No, it's niet.

Don't insist, I won't sell it to you.
my Nevada.

It's the mirabelle of my eyes.

He's mumbling.

Besides, she's not armored.
Come on, I'll call you back.

Oh! He's sticky, this Putin!
- Change your phone.

- Take a toll-free number, like me.

-You're right.
Practical

Do you realize?

In a week,
We'll be grandparents.

- It's a blow.
-Yes.

The phone vibrates.

What does my princess want?

I can't zoom because of the fries.
- Give it.

- My fingers are too greasy.
- Let's see.

-Wait...

“It's now”? She...
“It's now”?

- It's now!

- It's now! Gotta go!

Adventure Music

...

A baby cries softly.

-... -

Soft music

...

We knock.
-WHO IS IT?

- It's me.

- Yes, Georges Diouf!

They met once or twice.

Well, once is enough, huh.

And it's him she loves
has always been.

We know it well.

Today,
she has a second man in her life.

He was born on a holiday.

No doubt,

It's a Tuche!

...

And we're grandparents,

great-grandmother and let's try happy.

...

Welcome to you, little Tuche.

...

*—Mr. President!
He's coming. He's coming. Two minutes.

*Brouhaha of journalists
*He's coming.

- What if we watch a cartoon?
- Good idea.

- Dumbo or Pinocchio ?

- There's a lot of people!
- You look anxious.

- It's just going to talk to Bouzolles.
- Stop it.

- No. At school,
Kids are tough on each other.

- If you're different,
we let you know.

- It's like that. We have to get used to it.

Our grandson is Parisian. Point.

We don't care about people.

Are we Tuche or not?

- Yeah, we take him the way he is.

Come on! Come on. Come on.

Is it good? Didn't you forget it?
He's stinking.

It's okay.
Cathy! Cathy! Let's go.

- I'm scared.

- So, I present to you

Jeff Junior Jacquou Diouf Tuche.
Journalists Brouhaha

Take a good look at him,
he's my grandson. A Tuche.

With a T
like “you're here or you're not here.”

He's here. A Tuche from the year 2000.

- Dad, it's over the year 2000.
- Already? It goes, it goes.

- The Tuche! With me.

We're getting together.

Jacky, the other eye!
-Ah, yes.

-Say a fruit.

Watermelon!
Brouhaha

“Mista President”
(The Souljazz Orchestra)

...

-Wait. Wait. Shave yourself.

After all these emotions,
Jeff took us to Italy.

What is it beautiful, Italy!

The Tower of Pisa, the Colosseum,

the palace of the doges

and St. Peter's Square!

St. Peter's Square...

We should never have gone.
The bells are ringing.

*—Habemus Papam!

Cheers

-... -

-... -

-Come.

Come on, I tell you.
The bells are ringing.

That's not possible!

*Hello.

*This is my wife,
Cathy.

Cheers from the crowd

We're gonna have to work on Sundays.

Even more.

“Mista President”
(The Souljazz Orchestra)

...

Soft music

...

...

Sharp music

...

...

...

Subtitling: Piratium