Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,363 --> 00:00:04,600
"The Floating Anniversary"
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,335
This was supposed
to be my anniversary.
3
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,100
That's me in the car.
4
00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:11,838
Don't wait up,
5
00:00:11,873 --> 00:00:13,610
'cause I don't know
when I'll be home!
6
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,520
As much fun
as this looks,
7
00:00:15,650 --> 00:00:18,860
a couple of days ago,
we had a different plan in mind.
8
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,210
Happy anniversary.
9
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:24,961
Oh, honey!
10
00:00:25,071 --> 00:00:26,765
I don't have anything
for you.
11
00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:30,350
I had long ago learned
not to get Mike presents.
12
00:00:30,385 --> 00:00:31,319
What the hell is this?
13
00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:34,152
What did you get me
this for?
14
00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:36,640
I mean,
thanks, but...
15
00:00:36,810 --> 00:00:38,180
Seriously
what did you spend on this?
16
00:00:38,181 --> 00:00:39,242
You kept the receipt, right?
17
00:00:39,730 --> 00:00:43,007
This was actually our
16th and 17th anniversary.
18
00:00:43,230 --> 00:00:45,073
We kept postponing
the 16th
19
00:00:45,108 --> 00:00:47,289
until it floated
right into number 17.
20
00:00:47,324 --> 00:00:48,550
I know how busy
you've been,
21
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,047
and you saying how badly
you want to get away, so...
22
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:55,109
A trip to
the carpet remnants store.
23
00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:58,489
I love it! Oh!
24
00:00:59,020 --> 00:00:59,763
I know.
25
00:00:59,821 --> 00:01:01,514
It's a little pathetic
to get so excited
26
00:01:01,549 --> 00:01:02,650
about a carpet remnant,
27
00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:06,179
but the rug in our bedroom
had some serious mileage on it.
28
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,039
I told you.
I wasn't kidding.
29
00:01:09,530 --> 00:01:12,451
On Friday, I'm taking you
to French Lick.
30
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:15,150
We'll stay overnight at
the Route 33 motor lodge,
31
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,556
then we'll pick out
our remnant on Saturday
32
00:01:17,591 --> 00:01:18,350
and head back home.
33
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:21,039
Oh! I love it.
34
00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:23,501
Except for
the heading home part.
35
00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:26,880
Nobody wants to see that.
36
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,031
I think old people
kissing is sweet.
37
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,747
All right,
I think we're done here.
38
00:01:30,930 --> 00:01:32,909
Brick! Packed your lunch!
Let's go!
39
00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:34,957
Hey, could I drive
to school today?
40
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:35,910
No, not today.
41
00:01:35,945 --> 00:01:36,990
Your mom and I
have a lot to do,
42
00:01:37,025 --> 00:01:38,054
plus we don't want to die.
43
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,120
If I don't get to practice driving,
I'm never gonna get my license.
44
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:42,365
That's why
we taught you to walk.
45
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,080
Tell you what--if you stop
by the lot after school,
46
00:01:45,210 --> 00:01:47,410
I'll try to sneak you in
for a test-drive, okay?
47
00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:49,040
- Okay.
- Come on, guys. Get going.
48
00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:50,037
You don't want
to miss the bus.
49
00:01:50,072 --> 00:01:50,917
- Let's go.
- Good-bye, Mom.
50
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:54,399
All right. Have a good day.
See you guys.
51
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:55,740
Hey--oh.
52
00:01:55,775 --> 00:01:57,650
Mom, I don't feel good.
53
00:01:57,810 --> 00:01:58,851
Uh-oh.
54
00:01:58,931 --> 00:02:00,101
One sick kid could lead
55
00:02:00,142 --> 00:02:01,980
to a whole house
full of sick by Friday,
56
00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:03,845
and there
goes the anniversary.
57
00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:06,220
You're fine. You're not sick.
Positive attitude.
58
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,648
A bus ride
will make you feel better.
59
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,607
I really don't feel good.
60
00:02:19,070 --> 00:02:20,091
Okay.
61
00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:23,655
If you have to throw up,
do it on Mommy's carpet.
62
00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:29,780
The problem is,
I had to work that day.
63
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:32,361
But when you're a workin' mom,
you gotta get creative.
64
00:02:32,396 --> 00:02:34,495
Okay, there's ginger ale
in the cupholder.
65
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,420
If you need anything,
honk twice.
66
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,991
I wish I could stay home
and watch TV
67
00:02:42,026 --> 00:02:42,940
and have you make me soup.
68
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,662
Oh, sorry, honey.
Wrong family.
69
00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:48,520
Is it against the rules
for me to be here?
70
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:49,758
Of course not.
71
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,378
Just keep your head
below the window.
72
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,610
Meanwhile, third period
at Sue's school was set aside
73
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:59,242
so kids could do whatever
clubs they had gotten into.
74
00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:01,720
Since Sue didn't get
into any clubs,
75
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:04,455
she was sent to the front office
to make student I.Ds--
76
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:07,635
A job she referred to
as the lamination club.
77
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:09,560
I'm Brendan Nichols.
This is my first day.
78
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,041
Is this where
I get my I.D. made?
79
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,126
Are you okay?
80
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,870
I'm about done
being Mr. Nice Guy.
81
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,201
The month's almost over,
and sales are...
82
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,350
What in the name of
good God Almighty is that?
83
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,352
It's a houseplant.
84
00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:31,771
A houseplant?
85
00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,280
This is not your house.
86
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,480
How many times
have I told you?
87
00:03:36,620 --> 00:03:38,778
No bringing
personal items into work!
88
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,684
The only thing
any of you
89
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:43,113
need to be worrying about
taking care of is me.
90
00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:44,890
You don't need
a houseplant
91
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,734
stealing your focus from
what you should be working on--
92
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,221
selling cars!
93
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,331
I'm sorry, sir,
I'm not thinking clearly.
94
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,625
I gave blood this morning.
95
00:03:53,350 --> 00:03:54,643
Well, don't do it again.
96
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,181
It was very selfish
of me, sir.
97
00:03:58,510 --> 00:03:59,911
Did they give you
a cookie?
98
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:17,993
Thanks.
99
00:04:34,450 --> 00:04:38,090
Lou, did you see the red sedan
that was parked here?
100
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:48,234
Hear that engine?
This baby's got 260 horses.
101
00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:51,335
Can we play
the radio?
102
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,148
Radio!
103
00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:58,690
How could this
have happened?
104
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,720
I purposely put Brick
in the ugliest car
105
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,440
on the whole lot
and marked it up by 25%.
106
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,245
Frankie,
the, uh, "package"
107
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,160
that you left in the back
of the red sedan
108
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:11,170
has been placed
in the green hatchback,
109
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,721
and Pete says
it needs a Kleenex.
110
00:05:14,921 --> 00:05:17,710
Frances, what the hell
is your son doing here?
111
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,927
Mr. Ehlert, I am so sorry.
It's just been the worst day.
112
00:05:22,090 --> 00:05:22,562
Hey, Mom.
113
00:05:24,270 --> 00:05:26,599
Oh. You're talking
about Axl...
114
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,060
who is here because
he got his learner's permit,
115
00:05:31,210 --> 00:05:33,770
and we are thinking
of buying him a car.
116
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,832
All right! Well,
show him that yellow car.
117
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,326
It's got a tape deck.
118
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:41,431
You're buying me a car?
119
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:42,970
Wrong family.
120
00:05:43,005 --> 00:05:43,603
Listen, honey,
121
00:05:43,694 --> 00:05:45,169
this isn't the best day
for driving practice.
122
00:05:45,228 --> 00:05:46,270
I have to find
your brother.
123
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:47,520
I'll take him out for you.
124
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:48,848
Are you sure?
125
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:49,702
Thank you, Bob.
126
00:05:49,772 --> 00:05:51,890
He's really pretty good,
unless he has to turn.
127
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,541
Turn!
128
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:01,218
So, Ax,
I hear you play football?
129
00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,131
Yeah.
130
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,038
I used to play
a little ball myself
131
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:05,932
when I was your age.
132
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,152
Those days,
they called it foosball.
133
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,435
Wrist used to swell up
something awful.
134
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:15,245
Seems like yesterday
I was right where you are now.
135
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:16,624
I tell you, though,
136
00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:20,289
driver's license changes
the whole deal.
137
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:25,181
Once you're out of
that house, whoo, boy!
138
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:26,502
No family for me.
139
00:06:26,613 --> 00:06:28,709
It's all Bob, all the time.
140
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,410
If I want to go
to the arcade again tonight
141
00:06:31,573 --> 00:06:33,122
until it closes, I do it.
142
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,257
No family
wondering where I am.
143
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,850
I'm a bag in the wind.
144
00:06:45,675 --> 00:06:46,808
Dude, are you crying?
145
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,280
Eyes on the road.
146
00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:54,300
Hiding Brick all day
had worn me out.
147
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:56,776
I needed French Lick
now more than ever.
148
00:06:56,870 --> 00:06:57,950
Mom, can I talk to you?
149
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,020
Yeah, sure.
150
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,470
I saw this boy today
at school...
151
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,987
Now I know I should have
been thrilled by this.
152
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:06,340
My daughter was telling me
about her first big crush.
153
00:07:06,490 --> 00:07:07,721
But I was so tired,
154
00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:09,691
all I could do was
pretend to listen.
155
00:07:09,726 --> 00:07:10,860
When I tried
talking to him...
156
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,782
And then I saw
something amazing,
157
00:07:12,872 --> 00:07:14,087
something I was
beginning to think
158
00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:16,003
I'd never see
in my lifetime.
159
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:19,277
Brick was making
a sandwich.
160
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,920
Just this morning
he was sick,
161
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:23,192
and now an actual sandwich.
162
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,195
It was like that guy
who got hit by lightning
163
00:07:25,255 --> 00:07:27,087
and suddenly knew
how to play the piano.
164
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:28,381
So what do you think?
165
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,187
Is it a good plan?
166
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:33,167
Uh, sure, honey.
That's a great plan.
167
00:07:33,630 --> 00:07:34,341
Yay!
168
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,324
Brick, did you make
your own lunch?
169
00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:42,254
Did it all by myself.
170
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:43,160
Hey!
171
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,760
And suddenly,
everything seemed hopeful.
172
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,113
There was one less thing
I would have to do tomorrow
173
00:07:48,154 --> 00:07:49,500
and for the rest
of my life.
174
00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:52,760
Brick would make sandwiches,
Axl would learn to drive,
175
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,921
and soon there would
be time for a trip
176
00:07:54,961 --> 00:07:57,504
to the carpet remnants store
whenever I wanted...
177
00:07:58,140 --> 00:07:59,571
Or so I thought.
178
00:07:59,930 --> 00:08:01,704
- Hello?
- Frankie!
179
00:08:01,820 --> 00:08:03,258
Oh, hi, Aunt Edie.
180
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:07,422
Uh-huh. Okay.
Be right over.
181
00:08:08,450 --> 00:08:11,220
My aunts Ginny and Edie
had been smoking and coughing
182
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,640
for almost 70 years
without ever considering
183
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,880
there might be a connection
between the two.
184
00:08:15,915 --> 00:08:17,029
Damn arthritis.
185
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:20,157
I'm sorry to bother you,
but here it is 6:00,
186
00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,230
and we can't
open our medicine.
187
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:25,411
Oh, and another thing--
I failed my driving test today,
188
00:08:25,446 --> 00:08:27,749
so you're going to have
to help get us around.
189
00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:30,970
- What?
- I have a foot appoiment Tuesday,
190
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:34,170
and she has to get her wheelchair
tuned up on Thursday.
191
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:37,150
And while it's there,
you'll have to carry her around.
192
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:39,630
But don't worry.
She's not that heavy anymore.
193
00:08:39,950 --> 00:08:41,496
Okay. Hold on.
194
00:08:41,531 --> 00:08:42,700
I'm gonna have
to write this down.
195
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:43,533
And, dear,
196
00:08:44,145 --> 00:08:45,682
could you make me
a sandwich?
197
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,705
I should have figured
198
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,341
this was the way
the world worked.
199
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,730
Soon as the kids gain
a shred of independence...
200
00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:54,419
the old folks
spring a leak.
201
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:58,636
Lost another one.
202
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,688
Lost another one.
203
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:20,530
Shuttling everyone around
all week had made me nuts,
204
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:23,510
but at least I had
one thing to look forward to.
205
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:26,890
Okay, Mike.
I'm all packed for tonight.
206
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,870
Oh, but I need you
to swing by the mall at 5:00
207
00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:30,770
and pick up Aunt Ginny
at the eyeglass place.
208
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,858
But we should be on
the road by 8:00, 8:30 tops.
209
00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:36,183
Sounds like
somebody wants to get
210
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,440
to the Route 33
motor lodge.
211
00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:39,917
Mike!
212
00:09:41,419 --> 00:09:43,140
Do you two even know
what you look like?
213
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,575
Okay, listen, Axl,
214
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:45,281
you're in charge,
215
00:09:45,322 --> 00:09:46,970
and I want you to know
we trust you.
216
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,208
Then I should have
the car keys
217
00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:50,003
in case there's,
you know, an emergency.
218
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:52,572
I trust you with the kids,
not the car.
219
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:54,309
Blah.
220
00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:59,140
Sue, what is that
you're wearing?
221
00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:01,835
It's my idea for telling
Brendan that I like him.
222
00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:05,747
R-remember?
You said it was a great plan.
223
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,001
Honey...
224
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:10,614
Hello?
225
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:12,580
We just heard
from the doctor.
226
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:16,000
It's emphysema.
Oh, Frankie!
227
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:18,720
I don't know how
I'm gonna live without her.
228
00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,382
Calm down.
Just calm down.
229
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:21,203
I'll be right there.
230
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:25,590
Sue, just please
change the shirt.
231
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,280
We'll talk more later.
232
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:38,110
Aunt Ginny,
I am so sorry. I...
233
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:41,661
It's the dog?
234
00:10:41,913 --> 00:10:43,996
The dog has emphysema?
235
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:46,283
Poor Doris.
236
00:10:47,290 --> 00:10:49,234
How could this
have happened?
237
00:10:58,420 --> 00:10:59,455
You're kidding, right?
238
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:00,849
Hey, the vet says
239
00:11:00,884 --> 00:11:02,530
she has to be in
a smoke-free environment
240
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,345
until she regenerates
lung tissue.
241
00:11:04,392 --> 00:11:05,575
What could I say?
242
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:07,804
So what,
now we're not going?
243
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:10,520
I-I don't know. I mean,
the kids can't watch her.
244
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,300
You can't leave her alone
for more than 15 minutes,
245
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,263
or she chokes
on her own saliva.
246
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,130
And someone has to change
the nicotine patch,
247
00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:17,861
because she's going
through withdrawal.
248
00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:19,440
Perfect.
249
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,691
Look, I want to go
on the trip, Mike.
250
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,990
Believe me,
I need this trip, okay?
251
00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:26,590
I eat standing up
at the counter.
252
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:27,907
I've been reading
the same one article
253
00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:29,190
in "People" magazine
for a month.
254
00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:31,122
No one wants to get away
more than me.
255
00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:34,061
Your problem is,
you're letting these people
256
00:11:34,091 --> 00:11:36,500
control your whole life.
Aunt Ginny has a son.
257
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,532
Well, you know
Travis is in prison.
258
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,880
And Aunt Edie's kid
fried his brain huffing paint.
259
00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:43,550
He's literally the village
idiot of Terre Haute.
260
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:44,360
What about your mom?
261
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,390
Mom's in Des Moines
taking care of Grandma.
262
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,647
How the hell long do
people live in your family?
263
00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:50,480
You do for family, Mike.
264
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,640
That's all there is to it.
265
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,020
Maybe if you did
a little less for family,
266
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,053
they'd start dying off,
267
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,598
and we could have
a damn vacation.
268
00:11:57,610 --> 00:11:59,081
Oh! Hello?
269
00:12:00,510 --> 00:12:01,360
What?
270
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,400
No, no,
I've been at work all day.
271
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:04,409
Mike was supposed to...
272
00:12:05,650 --> 00:12:07,341
Okay, just stay put.
273
00:12:07,481 --> 00:12:08,937
I-I'll be right there.
274
00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:12,796
You forgot
to pick up Aunt Ginny.
275
00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:14,054
You forgot
to remind me.
276
00:12:14,055 --> 00:12:16,081
How many times
do I have to remind you?
277
00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:18,785
Do you want me to pin a note
to your shirt like a child?
278
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,199
No, you should have
stuck it on my thermos,
279
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:21,343
like you always do.
280
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:23,653
I'm gonna go pick up
Aunt Ginny.
281
00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:27,023
Could you please remember
to take the dog outside
282
00:12:27,058 --> 00:12:28,393
so it can do
its business?
283
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:32,160
- The dog's in a diaper.
- It doesn't know it's in a diaper!
284
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,850
It'll only go if it's outside!
God.
285
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,148
And so that's
how Mike and I
286
00:12:41,179 --> 00:12:42,810
had a big, ol' nasty fight
287
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,892
on what should have been
the loving celebration
288
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,666
of our 16th and
17th anniversaries.
289
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,510
And don't wait up,
290
00:12:48,582 --> 00:12:50,304
'cause I don't know
when I'll be home!
291
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,571
Diapering a damn dog.
292
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,116
Where's Mom?
293
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,292
Driving the old-mobile.
294
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:01,194
Well, can I ask you
a question about a boy?
295
00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:03,012
I'd rather you not.
296
00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:08,302
Okay, okay.
No, it's okay.
297
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,624
Well, his name is
Brendan.
298
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:13,531
I'm trying
to get his attention.
299
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:17,000
Well, don't do anything sexual.
Boys hate that.
300
00:13:17,035 --> 00:13:17,968
Well, what did Mom do
301
00:13:18,029 --> 00:13:19,358
when she wanted you
to notice her?
302
00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:21,920
Well, with your mother,
it was the other way.
303
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,115
She didn't know
I was alive.
304
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,026
I had to make a grand gesture,
so I went to a friend's barn...
305
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:30,000
"Lisa"?
306
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,990
Well, your mom didn't like me
very much when we first met,
307
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,608
so she told me
her name was Lisa.
308
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:36,265
But hey, it got me here,
didn't it?
309
00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:39,166
Wow.
A grand gesture, huh?
310
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:41,113
Thanks, Dad.
311
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,303
Yep. It got me here.
312
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,018
So how was
the big weekend?
313
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:52,514
Didn't happen.
314
00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:54,240
Mike and I
got in this big fight.
315
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,853
I mean, he says
I try to take on too much
316
00:13:55,888 --> 00:13:56,988
with the kids
and my aunts,
317
00:13:57,039 --> 00:13:58,350
but what am I
supposed to do?
318
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:00,286
Everybody needs
something from me.
319
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,143
That must be hard...
320
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,039
Being needed.
321
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,124
I could tell you
about my life,
322
00:14:08,204 --> 00:14:09,569
but I don't want
to make you jealous...
323
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,609
Ever mention how
I'm a bag in the wind?
324
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,195
I'm just so tired,
and now Mike's mad at me.
325
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,534
Hey, before you can take care
of your relationship,
326
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:20,202
you need
to take care of you.
327
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:21,926
You're exhausted,
328
00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:23,644
and you need to take
a little break, all right?
329
00:14:23,810 --> 00:14:25,102
- Right now.
- I can't!
330
00:14:25,137 --> 00:14:26,980
Of course you can.
You deserve it.
331
00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:28,270
The world's
not gonna stop turning
332
00:14:28,305 --> 00:14:29,280
if you take 15 minutes.
333
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,800
Ehlert will be all over me
'cause I didn't make the coffee.
334
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,150
I'll do it, all right?
335
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:35,300
That's my anniversary gift
to you, all right?
336
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:37,478
Go. Enjoy.
337
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:48,270
Bob was right.
I did need 15 minutes.
338
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,973
I mean, it wasn't French Lick,
but it was something.
339
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:37,949
When it was over...
340
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:41,491
I knew that had been the most
worthwhile 15 minutes of my life.
341
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,754
Sometimes you don't know
how badly
342
00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:45,100
you need
something until--
343
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:45,939
What the--
344
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,319
Who in the hell
made the coffee?
345
00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:56,707
Mom, where are you?
346
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,944
Mom, Mom!
347
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,859
Mom,
I am so, so sorry.
348
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:04,240
Are you all right?
349
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,786
All right, all right.
Hold on. One at a time.
350
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,223
It is the most
humiliating thing
351
00:16:11,258 --> 00:16:13,381
that has ever happened
to anyone.
352
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,326
Honey, I'm sure
it's not as bad as that.
353
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:17,770
It was.
354
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:20,586
Bit by bit, I was able to piece
together what had happened.
355
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,672
It seems the phrase
"grand gesture"
356
00:16:22,743 --> 00:16:25,244
had stayed with Sue
after her talk with Mike.
357
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,968
Um, this is Sue Heck
358
00:16:30,058 --> 00:16:33,388
with a special message
for Brendan Nichols.
359
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:36,846
# Why do birds #
360
00:16:37,026 --> 00:16:40,128
# suddenly appear #
361
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,015
# Every time #
362
00:16:42,504 --> 00:16:44,891
# you are near? #
363
00:16:45,677 --> 00:16:50,224
# Just like me,
they long to be #
364
00:16:50,455 --> 00:16:54,282
# Close to you #
365
00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:06,420
It was a girl's
worst nightmare.
366
00:17:06,455 --> 00:17:08,005
Everyone in the school
was laughing
367
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,710
about that ridiculous
Sue Heck.
368
00:17:09,740 --> 00:17:12,715
The only bright spot was
no one knew who Sue Heck was.
369
00:17:13,919 --> 00:17:15,746
Meanwhile,
Axl was offered
370
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:17,835
a rare chance
to practice his driving.
371
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:21,730
Hey, Mom. Uh, Aunt Edie asked
me to drive her to the mall,
372
00:17:21,731 --> 00:17:24,672
so if you don't call me back
and say no in 60 seconds,
373
00:17:24,707 --> 00:17:26,110
I'll assume
you're okay with it.
374
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:30,368
While at the same time,
375
00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:32,450
Brick had decided
to take the dog for a pull
376
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,478
to show off
the many sights of Orson.
377
00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:36,625
This is my favorite place.
378
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:38,900
You're the first person--or dog--
379
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:40,303
that I've ever brought here.
380
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,323
Apparently,
Brick's favorite place
381
00:17:44,414 --> 00:17:46,544
was also Sue's
favorite place to cry.
382
00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:48,301
Sue?
383
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:52,978
Oh, no. Doris!
384
00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:02,980
Uh, Aunt Edie,
I don't think that's okay.
385
00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:05,316
It's all right.
It's my driving beer.
386
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:09,712
Isn't that Doris?
387
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,247
Ma'am, I already spoke
to your aunt,
388
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:25,912
but I need to clear up
a few things with you.
389
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,473
I understand your children
390
00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:28,490
were trying to get
in touch with you?
391
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:29,847
I am so sorry.
392
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,180
I just turned off my phone
for 15 minutes.
393
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,380
You turned off
your phone
394
00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:35,100
but you're a mom.
395
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:36,626
I just needed a break.
396
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,833
From what?
Being a mom?
397
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,362
No. Well, yes.
398
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,963
Okay. I just have
one question for you.
399
00:18:44,964 --> 00:18:47,522
Why didn't a single one of you
think to call your father?
400
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,431
Dad hates it
when we call him at work.
401
00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:56,322
And so I decided
to stop fighting it.
402
00:18:56,550 --> 00:19:00,185
Maybe Queen Elizabeth
or Julia Roberts
403
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:02,018
could take 15 minutes
in the bathroom
404
00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:03,780
with maxi pads
on their eyes
405
00:19:03,930 --> 00:19:06,011
or plan a trip to
the carpet remnants store,
406
00:19:06,156 --> 00:19:07,038
but not me.
407
00:19:07,073 --> 00:19:08,800
I had flown too close
to the sun,
408
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,429
and I had paid the price.
409
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,076
Frankie, I've got to show you
someting in the car.
410
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,410
What, now?
411
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,447
So what did you
wanna show me?
412
00:19:23,999 --> 00:19:24,652
Buckle up!
413
00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:28,244
What, Mike?
Wait, what are you doing?
414
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,084
It's our
almost-18th anniversary,
415
00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:33,190
I'm taking you to French Lick
and buying you a carpet remnant.
416
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,867
Mike, okay, look.
Stop!
417
00:19:34,927 --> 00:19:36,698
Look, you can't just do this.
418
00:19:36,738 --> 00:19:38,172
This is crazy!
419
00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,710
I don't even have
my phone.
420
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:41,100
What about the kids?
421
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:43,300
And--and Aunt Ginny
and Aunt Edie?
422
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,810
Took care of it.
423
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:53,920
Turns out,
after all these years,
424
00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:55,196
Mike's a genius.
425
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,392
Okay!
Time to turn off the TV.
426
00:19:58,427 --> 00:20:01,080
And have a little
family conversation.
427
00:20:03,191 --> 00:20:04,988
So who watched
last week's Wife Swap?
428
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,360
Alright, I'll tell you
all about it.
429
00:20:06,662 --> 00:20:07,633
So there's this couple,
right--
430
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:09,145
Mike was able to get
Bob to give up
431
00:20:09,194 --> 00:20:11,431
his free-wheeling
bag-in-the-wind lifestyle
432
00:20:11,466 --> 00:20:13,080
and have a family
for one night.
433
00:20:13,115 --> 00:20:14,787
Again, I'm not trying
to hurt you.
434
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,573
I'm just trying to tell you
about the best episode.
435
00:20:16,574 --> 00:20:18,690
- I loved it!
- And as for Mike and I,
436
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,230
Happy?
437
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:21,377
Yeah.
438
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:24,583
- Route 33 motor lodge?
- Never disappoints.
439
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:25,496
And the remnants?
440
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,426
So beautiful.
441
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,058
No natural fibers.
442
00:20:30,190 --> 00:20:31,840
It's a shame
we have to take it home
443
00:20:31,910 --> 00:20:33,355
and let it get
all covered with...
444
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:35,255
life.
445
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,264
You're right.
446
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,529
I think we need
to take 15 minutes.
447
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,130
This isn't
the easiest phase of life.
448
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:51,252
You've got young people
and old people
449
00:20:51,287 --> 00:20:53,405
pulling at you
from both directions.
450
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,603
But it's not so bad
451
00:20:54,673 --> 00:20:56,750
as long as you've got
somebody in there with you.
452
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,440
And that's something you gotta
remember to celebrate.
453
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:03,852
Transcript: SFile.YDY.com
Sync: YTET-Vicky8800 [YDY.com]
454
00:21:03,853 --> 00:21:06,510
Final Edits: VeRdiKT
[Subscene.com / Addic7ed.com]
33497
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof