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- ♪ MTV ♪
2
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[chuckling]
3
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,812
[bluesy rock music]
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:17,517
♪ ♪
5
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,992
- [humming]
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00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,028
- Took you long
enough, dumbass.
7
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,531
Where's our nachos?
[chuckles]
8
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- I didn't get nachos,
Butt-Head.
9
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,734
[chuckles]
10
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I got this instead.
11
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Yeah, see?
12
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,238
[chuckles]
Check it out.
13
00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:40,707
- What did you do
that for, butthole?
14
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,910
I wanted nachos.
- I don't know.
15
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I just saw these, and, um,
I've never had them before,
16
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,714
you know,
and they looked pretty good.
17
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:48,982
[chuckles]
18
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- Damn it, Beavis.
19
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,153
Well, let me try them,
and I'll deal with you later.
20
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,556
[chuckles]
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00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,560
- That's what I'm
talking about, mm-hmm.
22
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,928
Good stuff, yeah.
23
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:01,895
[chuckles]
Excellent.
24
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,297
[chuckles]
25
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,231
- God damn it, Beavis.
26
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:08,068
[chuckles]
These things are terrible.
27
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,570
They're like vegetables
or something.
28
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,639
[chuckles]
29
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:12,873
- No, no, no,
they're really good.
30
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,408
Yeah, mmm.
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Yeah, it's great how they, um,
kind of make your lips tingle.
32
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,313
You know what I'm saying?
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See?
[chuckles]
34
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,650
- Uh, no, they don't.
35
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,985
[chuckles]
- Yeah, they do.
36
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,755
[chuckles] I can barely
feel my lips at all.
37
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,457
[chuckles]
Yeah, delicious.
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00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,958
[chuckles]
39
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:33,560
- Uh, Beavis?
40
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,295
[chuckles]
- Yeah?
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00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:36,329
What?
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00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,932
[chuckles]
Mmm, so good.
43
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,267
[chuckles]
44
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,770
- Uh, you, like,
got ugly or something.
45
00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:46,806
[chuckles] I mean, you were
always pretty ugly, though, so,
46
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,875
never mind, I guess.
47
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- Butt-Head, can you help me
get these nuts out of here?
48
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,715
My hands don't fit in the
can anymore for some reason.
49
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,549
[sighs]
Oh, well.
50
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,052
I guess I'll just
pour them in there.
51
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,955
[chuckles]
Mm-hmm.
52
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,592
Tastes so good,
my tongue's getting big.
53
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,961
[coughs] It's just filling
up my entire...
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00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,531
[coughing]
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00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,932
my entire throat.
56
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:15,302
- It's filling
your entire what?
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Beavis, you ugly
son of a bitch.
58
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,705
How am I supposed to know
what you're talking about
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00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,073
if I can't understand
a word you're saying?
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00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,074
- Mmm.
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[coughs] So good.
62
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[gags]
63
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,013
- Uh-- oh, well.
64
00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,416
Now I'll never know what
his tongue was filling up.
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00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,986
[chuckles]
I'm gonna go get some nachos.
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00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,588
[chuckles]
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00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,256
-♪ I met a guy in the summer ♪
68
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,724
♪ And I left him
in the spring ♪
69
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,360
♪ He argued with me
about everything ♪
70
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:43,631
♪ He had an ego and a
temper and a wandering eye ♪
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00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,931
♪ He said he's 6 foot 2 ♪
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00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,567
- Huh.
73
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:49,503
Some of these girls look like
Olivia Rodrigo, you know?
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00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,371
Like that one.
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00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,007
See, and that one.
76
00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:54,441
See what I'm saying?
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00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,178
- Uh, they're all
Olivia Rodrigo, dumbass.
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00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,180
[chuckles]
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00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,581
- Whoa, really?
80
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,349
Now, see, her putting
herself in this video
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00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,051
over and over again
like that, it's
82
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,988
like taking jobs away from,
like, 20 other hot chicks.
83
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,990
It's not fair.
84
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,058
- Yeah, really.
85
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,960
[chuckles] It's messed up.
86
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,929
- You know, it's hard enough
for hot chicks to get jobs.
87
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,465
I mean, just look around.
88
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,600
They never seem to be working.
89
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,701
[chuckles]
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00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,136
- That's right.
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00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,505
[chuckles] Because hot
chicks have a "smegma"
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00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,173
attached to them or something.
93
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,140
[chuckles]
94
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,575
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
95
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:33,146
Because society has
"smegmatized" them.
96
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,483
And then they have to, like,
be a hot chick for, like,
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00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,885
50 years just to
afford a house.
98
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:39,887
[chuckles]
99
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,254
- That's right, Beavis.
100
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,924
And hot chicks take the
jobs that most Americans
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aren't willing to do.
102
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,260
[chuckles]
103
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,294
- Yeah, yeah, exactly.
104
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,295
[chuckles]
105
00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,263
- [chuckles]
Job.
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00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:55,569
[both chuckling]
107
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,840
- You know-- you know, in
all seriousness, you know,
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00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:03,077
if I, like, had a
clone, I'm pretty
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00:04:03,144 --> 00:04:04,678
sure I could kick his ass.
110
00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,246
Yeah.
[chuckles]
111
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:09,483
- [chuckles] The only thing
you'd beat is your meat.
112
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,151
[chuckles]
113
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,419
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
114
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,820
Yeah.
115
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,389
Wait a second.
116
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,957
Wait a second.
117
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,792
I just thought of
something else.
118
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:23,264
So like, if I had a clone and
then the clone sat on his hand
119
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:27,434
until it was numb, and
then he spanked my monkey,
120
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,470
then it would feel like
someone else, yeah.
121
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:30,570
[chuckles]
122
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,373
- Damn it, Beavis.
123
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,674
You're a genius.
124
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,611
[chuckles]
We got to get cloned.
125
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:38,646
- Yeah, yeah.
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00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,280
Yeah, as soon as possible.
127
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,716
[chuckles]
128
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,417
[distant siren wailing]
129
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,353
- Now, you went into what's
called anaphylactic shock.
130
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,989
You're lucky it only took an
hour for someone to find you
131
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,057
and call 911.
132
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,091
- Yeah, that's cool, yeah.
133
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,693
[chuckles]
134
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,463
- I think you may have had
an adverse reaction to nuts.
135
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,499
- [chuckles] Yeah, nut.
136
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,267
Yeah, I like to nut, you know.
137
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,870
[chuckles]
It's one of my passions.
138
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,904
You know what I'm saying?
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00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,406
[chuckles]
Nut.
140
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:10,010
- Now, did you have
any nuts today?
141
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,312
- As a matter of fact, I did.
142
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:14,515
[chuckles]
It was in the shower.
143
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,717
You know, I kind of use
the shower curtain
144
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,051
and some conditioner,
you know.
145
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,453
[chuckles]
146
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,521
- Huh.
147
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,588
How often are you having nuts?
148
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,256
- Oh, I don't know.
149
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,326
Sometimes, like, four or
five nuts a day or something.
150
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,761
[chuckles]
151
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,231
- And when you have
a nut, how do you feel?
152
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,499
- Oh, I mean, you know, good.
153
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,833
That's why I do it.
Yeah.
154
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:33,801
[chuckles]
155
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,968
- Interesting.
156
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,303
- These questions are weird.
157
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,571
[chuckles]
158
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,106
- I'm afraid what's
happening here
159
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,809
is you're allergic to nuts.
160
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,843
- What?
161
00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:44,344
[chuckles]
162
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,846
- It appears to be a
very serious nut allergy.
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00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,950
And I'm going to need you
to cut out nuts altogether.
164
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,051
- No way.
165
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,286
Are you serious?
166
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,620
- Very.
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00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,955
If you have another
nut, you could die.
168
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:55,889
- No!
169
00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:57,324
No!
170
00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,293
- You're going to be
OK as long as you are
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00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,329
very careful to avoid nuts.
172
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,632
- OK, can I have a nut
if it's with a chick?
173
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,132
- Absolutely not.
174
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:07,767
- This sucks!
175
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,404
What if I nut on accident
'cause-- 'cause Megan Pisarchik
176
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,906
bends over or something?
177
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,573
- Look, you just have
to be very careful.
178
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,209
I would avoid even
touching a nut.
179
00:06:15,276 --> 00:06:16,509
- I don't want to do that.
180
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:17,611
That's disgusting!
181
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,946
[chuckles]
182
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,514
- If it makes you
feel any better,
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00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,149
I'm allergic to nuts myself.
184
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,652
And I haven't had a
nut for over 20 years.
185
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,319
- Why would that
make me feel better?
186
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,621
That you're a wuss?
187
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,189
God damn it!
188
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,559
- It drives my wife crazy
because she loves nuts but
189
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,226
can't have them in the house.
190
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,129
- This is the worst
day of my life!
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00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,296
Damn it!
192
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,769
Butt-Head,
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00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,305
I can never spank
my monkey again.
194
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,642
And I can never score
or I will die.
195
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,110
[chuckles]
196
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,946
- Uh, really?
197
00:06:52,046 --> 00:06:53,914
- Yes, it's true.
198
00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:55,215
[chuckles]
199
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,517
- Uh, then I guess
your nads are only
200
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,286
good for one thing, Beavis.
201
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,155
[chuckles]
- What's that?
202
00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:02,555
- [grunts]
203
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,792
- Ahh!
Why do they still have to hurt?
204
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,532
[somber operatic music]
205
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,770
[girls giggling]
206
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,138
- I wish we could wear
our skirts shorter.
207
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:22,943
- Don't even look, Beavis,
unless you want to die.
208
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:28,248
♪ ♪
209
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,818
Just keep walking.
210
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,387
It's the only way to survive.
211
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:40,460
♪ ♪
212
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:51,338
♪ ♪
213
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,774
- Hey, are you OK?
214
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,709
Your name is Baxter, right?
215
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,778
- Eh, it doesn't matter.
216
00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,313
[chuckles]
217
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,048
- I just joined the Highland
Teen Outreach Program,
218
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,451
and you look like you
might be depressed.
219
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,751
- Yeah.
220
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,821
The doctor gave me
some very bad news.
221
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,088
Very bad.
222
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,956
[chuckles]
223
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,492
- Oh, no.
224
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,927
The same thing happened to
my aunt because she smoked.
225
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,296
- Your aunt can't
spank her monkey?
226
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:20,534
- Baxter, I just want you
to know if you need support,
227
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,103
Teen Outreach is here for you.
228
00:08:23,204 --> 00:08:24,671
- Boi-oi-oi.
No!
229
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,206
No! Help! Help!
230
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,775
I don't want to die!
No, no!
231
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:28,976
I'm sorry I got a boner.
232
00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,377
No!
233
00:08:30,411 --> 00:08:31,879
Help!
[chuckles]
234
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:36,416
- Well, Beavis, you almost
died five times today.
235
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,451
[chuckles]
236
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,452
- Oh, boy.
237
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,786
[chuckles]
238
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,589
- Every day for the
rest of your life
239
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,056
is going to be like this.
240
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,626
[chuckles]
You have nothing to live for.
241
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,261
- No way, Butt-Head!
242
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,765
There's still, like,
things I can enjoy.
243
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,299
Like, mixed nuts are good.
244
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,733
[chuckles]
- Yeah, yeah.
245
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,835
They never
hurt anybody, you know?
246
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:55,903
- Oh, yeah.
247
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,671
Those weren't so bad after all.
248
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:01,075
- [coughing]
249
00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:03,543
[yelling, coughing]
250
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,979
Tasty.
251
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,481
- Uh-- oh, well.
252
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:08,782
More for me.
253
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:09,817
[chuckles]
254
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,820
- [choking] Pretty good.
255
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,856
[whimsical militaristic music]
256
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:22,329
♪ ♪
257
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,231
- War is hell.
258
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:26,233
That's what they tell you.
259
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,603
But sometimes,
even in the middle of a war,
260
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:34,608
there can blossom the tender
flower they call love.
261
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,810
[light orchestral music]
262
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:40,447
I was in the hospital after
being injured while doing
263
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,817
routine maintenance on
a Jeep during the Battle
264
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,419
of Bloody Ridge.
265
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,554
♪ ♪
266
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,822
Nurse?
267
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:49,924
Nurse?
268
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,894
♪ ♪
269
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,397
Are you my nurse?
270
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,698
- Mm-hmm.
271
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,265
- Well, I just
wanted to tell you,
272
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,336
somebody didn't set
up this IV right.
273
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,639
See, an IV depends
on gravity to push
274
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,508
the fluid through the tubing.
275
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,744
So you have to hang your fluid
supply at least three feet
276
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,514
above the patient's heart or
you won't have enough pressure
277
00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:16,584
for the fluid to fully
infuse into the vein.
278
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,953
Now, somebody probably
told you to get more flow,
279
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,222
all you need to do
is loosen that clamp.
280
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,359
And sure, that'll raise your
drip rate up to a point,
281
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,395
but at the end of the day,
what's going to get it done
282
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:32,399
is gravitational pressure.
283
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,135
And what happened
to that nurse?
284
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:38,205
Well, I made her my wife.
285
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,506
- Mm-hmm.
286
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,408
- But that's a tale
for the next "
287
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,143
"Tom Anderson's War Stories."
288
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,444
[chuckles]
289
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,314
[whimsical militaristic music]
290
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,852
[chuckling]
291
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,822
[bluesy rock music]
292
00:10:54,888 --> 00:11:00,160
♪ ♪
293
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:11,438
- [grunting]
294
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,941
[sighs]
Magnet fishing kicks ass.
295
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:14,942
Yeah.
296
00:11:15,009 --> 00:11:16,343
[chuckles]
297
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,446
- Now, pull up something
good this time, dumbass,
298
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:23,050
like a rusty gun
or, like, gold.
299
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,117
- Whoa!
300
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,085
Whoa, Butt-Head.
301
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,153
I got something big.
302
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,621
[grunting]
303
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,057
[both grunting]
304
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:33,026
- Ahh!
305
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,061
Augh!
306
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:37,798
Butt-Head,
it's crushing my--
307
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,266
my ribs.
308
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:42,703
- Stop fooling around
with the magnet, dumbass.
309
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,339
We're trying to make
some money here.
310
00:11:45,406 --> 00:11:46,373
Guh!
311
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,508
Uh! Uh!
312
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:49,777
It's stuck to my pacemaker.
313
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:50,944
[groans]
314
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,214
- Whoa, cool.
315
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,650
- I don't feel so good.
316
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:59,353
- What's a pacemaker
even do anyway?
317
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,422
- Where am I?
318
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,023
All I can see is a dot.
319
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:04,157
Ugh.
320
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,192
- Come on.
321
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,327
Quit hogging the magnet.
322
00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:09,696
[grunting]
323
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,631
[water splashes]
324
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,899
- [groaning]
325
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,134
- Whoa.
326
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,503
Whoa, I got something
good, Butt-Head.
327
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:17,871
Whoa!
328
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,340
[chuckles] Whoa,
check it out, Butt-Head.
329
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,543
This is my bike from
when I was a kid!
330
00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:24,611
It was a present from
my mom's new boyfriend
331
00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:26,913
so I wouldn't tell her
about his other family.
332
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,515
Yeah.
333
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,183
[chuckles] Here's where I
scratched my name on the paint.
334
00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:31,251
See?
335
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,954
[chuckles] Beavis.
336
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,822
You liked it too, remember?
337
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,290
[dreamy harp music]
338
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,292
- It sucks.
339
00:12:38,359 --> 00:12:40,227
[chuckles]
340
00:12:40,294 --> 00:12:42,396
- You're just jealous
because I got a present.
341
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:43,664
[chuckles]
342
00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,031
- No, I'm not.
343
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,900
I'm, like, happy for
you or something.
344
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:47,868
- [grunts]
345
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,202
♪ ♪
346
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,106
- And then one day,
someone stole it.
347
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,907
♪ ♪
348
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,009
- [grunts]
349
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,412
[chuckles]
350
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,081
♪ ♪
351
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,616
- Someday I'm going to
find out who it was.
352
00:13:02,683 --> 00:13:04,618
And I'm going to dedicate
the rest of my life
353
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,319
to kicking their ass.
354
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,354
Yeah.
355
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:08,856
[chuckles]
356
00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:12,193
- Beavis, I have
something I need to tell you.
357
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,193
- Yeah?
358
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,095
What is it?
359
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,131
- It was Stewart.
360
00:13:17,198 --> 00:13:20,701
[chuckles]
361
00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:21,635
- Stewart.
362
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,904
[ominous music]
363
00:13:23,938 --> 00:13:28,709
- ♪ Can we go back
to how it was ♪
364
00:13:28,776 --> 00:13:30,644
♪ Before my pride got ♪
365
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,912
- What's going on
with this girl?
366
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,013
She looks kind of weird.
367
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,281
[chuckles]
368
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,316
- Uh, that's not a girl.
369
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,684
It's Kid Laroi.
370
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:38,685
[chuckles]
371
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:39,754
- No, I mean the other girl.
372
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,388
The blonde one, you know?
373
00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:44,224
[chuckles] Something's,
uh-- something's going on.
374
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:48,462
- Uh, I think,
like, this is LA.
375
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:51,665
And they say, like, people
in LA are all plastic.
376
00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:54,868
They get their faces
shot full of brobloxin.
377
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:59,440
[chuckles] It works, though,
because I bet she's, like, 50.
378
00:13:59,507 --> 00:14:00,574
[chuckles]
379
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,942
- Whoa.
380
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,510
[chuckles] I think
she's, like, not real.
381
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:04,644
[chuckles]
382
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,547
- Uh-- oh, yeah.
383
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,649
She's, like, a love doll.
384
00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:10,317
[chuckles]
385
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,318
- Oh, really?
386
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,686
What do you mean?
387
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:15,322
- Yeah, she's just,
like, a life-sized doll.
388
00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,624
And you can do whatever
you want to her.
389
00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:18,592
[chuckles]
390
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,127
- Whoa.
391
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,962
Whoa.
392
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,164
Whoa.
393
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,865
So you can do
whatever you want?
394
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,368
[chuckles]
- Yep.
395
00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:29,069
[chuckles]
- Wait, wait.
396
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,404
This is against the law, right?
397
00:14:30,471 --> 00:14:31,305
[chuckles]
398
00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:32,806
- No, I don't think so.
399
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,241
[chuckles]
400
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,909
- And how much does one
of those things cost?
401
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,110
[chuckles]
402
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,113
- Uh, I don't know.
403
00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:40,447
I think they're expensive.
404
00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:41,681
[chuckles]
405
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,316
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
406
00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:44,318
Yep.
407
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,852
[chuckles] Wait a minute.
408
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,521
Maybe I could, like, make one.
409
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,423
What are these things made of?
410
00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:50,991
- Uh, I don't know--
411
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,126
plastic or something?
412
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,626
[chuckles]
- Yeah, yeah!
413
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,964
We could, like, get a bunch of
plastic and melt it all down
414
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,832
and make one of those things.
415
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,434
It can't be that hard.
416
00:15:00,501 --> 00:15:02,435
- Uh, it seems pretty hard.
417
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,672
[chuckles] You've gotta,
like, mold a bunch of plastic
418
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,674
into something that
looks like a chick.
419
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,176
[chuckles]
420
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,844
- It doesn't need to look
that much like a chick.
421
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,746
In fact, for what
I have in mind,
422
00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:15,215
it doesn't need to look
like a chick at all.
423
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,950
All we got to do is, uh--
424
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,685
well, let me see.
425
00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:20,887
All it really
needs is one thing.
426
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:24,324
[chuckles] Get this here.
427
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,759
OK.
428
00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:27,595
Yeah, see, we got all
these plastic bottles.
429
00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:30,430
[chuckles] I knew there was
a reason we didn't recycle.
430
00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:32,900
Yeah.
[chuckles]
431
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:34,801
[bottles clattering]
432
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,503
Where'd you put the
scissors, Butt-Head?
433
00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:38,238
- Uh, I don't know.
434
00:15:38,339 --> 00:15:39,406
[bottles clattering]
435
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:40,441
- Get these.
436
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:41,709
A drill maybe.
437
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,743
[drill whirring]
438
00:15:43,844 --> 00:15:45,345
Drill.
[chuckles]
439
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,981
- Beavis, if you're going
to put a hole in this couch,
440
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,449
I'm kicking your ass.
441
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,483
- Oh.
442
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,453
[chuckles] Oh, OK.
443
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,021
Yeah, I'll think
of something else.
444
00:15:54,088 --> 00:15:55,823
[chuckles] Oh, I know.
445
00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:56,857
I know.
446
00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:58,058
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
the microwave.
447
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,127
Yeah, check this out.
448
00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:02,229
[microwave keypad beeping]
449
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,798
[microwave whirring]
450
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:05,833
- Uh, Beavis?
451
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,034
- [coughs]
452
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,769
- It smells like
plastic's burning.
453
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,804
- [coughing] Yeah, yeah.
454
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:11,771
Yeah, it is.
455
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:12,772
It's melting.
456
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:13,807
Check it out.
457
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,443
[coughs]
Fire! Fire!
458
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:20,814
[coughs]
I'm just gonna take this.
459
00:16:20,881 --> 00:16:22,716
Just set this here.
460
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:24,651
Let me get my pants.
461
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:29,623
Now, just, uh-- just shape
it to my schlong, see?
462
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:30,623
Come to papa.
463
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:31,959
Ahh!
464
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:35,529
- [chuckles]
Dumbass.
465
00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:36,530
- Ow.
466
00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:37,597
Ah!
467
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,267
God damn it.
468
00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,601
There's Stewart's house.
469
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,137
Goddamn dirty butthole.
470
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,274
[doorbell rings]
Stupid son of a bitch.
471
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,442
Stole my bike.
472
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,442
- That's right.
473
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,878
He sure did.
474
00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:53,781
When he opens this door,
you should kick his ass.
475
00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:56,616
[chuckles]
476
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,451
- Beavis and Butt-Head?
477
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,888
You finally came over to visit.
478
00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:02,289
- Damn you, Stewart!
479
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,924
I'm going to kick your
ass because you stole--
480
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,793
- You want to come
in for a beer?
481
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,261
- A beer?
Yeah, OK.
482
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,863
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that sounds pretty good.
483
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:09,864
Sure, yeah.
484
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,565
Beer would hit the spot, yeah.
485
00:17:11,665 --> 00:17:12,966
[chuckles]
486
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,301
- This is what it's
all about, right?
487
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:15,803
- Mmm.
488
00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:18,172
- Beers with your best
friends from high school.
489
00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:21,642
I mean, I'm not a big
drinker, but Kaitlyn made some
490
00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:23,243
of her famous cucumber water.
491
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,312
- Are there any more beers?
492
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,913
- No, uh, sorry, guys.
493
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:27,982
I think that's it.
494
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,416
- That's enough, Stewart!
495
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,651
There's a time in a
man's life when he's
496
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:32,152
not going to take it anymore!
497
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,622
So today, I'm going
to kick your fat ass--
498
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,123
- This is just like old times.
499
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:37,524
Let's get some pizza.
500
00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:38,892
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
pizza sounds cool.
501
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,394
Yeah.
OK, yeah.
502
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,396
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Buy us some pizza.
503
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:43,497
[chuckles]
504
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,566
- Man, we had some good times.
505
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,434
Hey, remember when you
locked me in the closet
506
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,503
and forgot I was in there?
507
00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:51,972
You guys, always giving
me the business--
508
00:17:52,006 --> 00:17:53,373
- Shut up, butthole!
509
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,774
It's finally time
to kick your ass--
510
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,811
- Oh, Kaitlyn's
home from the pool.
511
00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:58,512
- OK, yeah, let's check
out what your wife looks
512
00:17:58,612 --> 00:17:59,846
like in a bathing suit.
513
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:00,915
That'd be cool. Yeah.
514
00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:02,116
- Ooh, good idea.
515
00:18:02,183 --> 00:18:03,784
[chuckles]
516
00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:06,353
- Kaitlyn, honey, look who
finally came over to visit me.
517
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,256
- Oh, you must be Beavis and
Butt-Head, Stewart's friends.
518
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,693
Stewart's told me so much about
how you were the three amigos.
519
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,928
You know he talks
about you constantly?
520
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,663
So, what brings you by?
521
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:20,367
- Um, wait, why would
we ever come here?
522
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,601
Oh, yeah.
523
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,904
Yeah, Stewart,
you stole my bike.
524
00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,072
- This bike?
525
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,507
- That's right, butthole.
526
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,541
- Yeah.
527
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,675
Kick his ass.
528
00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:29,843
[chuckles]
529
00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,578
- Oh, no, you're
misremembering.
530
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:32,879
That's not what happened.
531
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,981
[dreamy harp music]
532
00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:35,716
- Check out Beavis's bike.
533
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,618
I'm going to throw
it in the river.
534
00:18:37,685 --> 00:18:39,619
[chuckles]
535
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,721
♪ ♪
536
00:18:40,754 --> 00:18:42,189
- But that's friendship, huh?
537
00:18:42,256 --> 00:18:43,690
People giving you the business.
538
00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:44,692
- Damn it!
539
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,760
I'm gonna kill you, Butt-Head.
540
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,262
[lamp shattering]
541
00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:49,863
- [chuckles]
- Ahh!
542
00:18:49,930 --> 00:18:51,265
- Damn it, Beavis,
I'm gonna stick that
543
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,599
up your butt sideways.
544
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:53,867
- [yelling]
545
00:18:53,934 --> 00:18:56,803
- You like that,
damn son of a bitch?
546
00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,539
[both shouting]
547
00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,374
- I've hated you for 30 years!
548
00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:02,610
I'm gonna kill you! Ahh!
549
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:05,979
- Damn it, Beavis.
- Ahh!
550
00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:07,147
- Don't worry, Kaitlyn.
551
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,114
I'll kick--
552
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,417
[grunting]
553
00:19:10,484 --> 00:19:13,453
- Guys, do you want
some mini quiches?
554
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,788
Kaitlyn made them
for her book club,
555
00:19:14,855 --> 00:19:16,690
but you can have
them if you want.
556
00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:18,425
- What?
Huh?
557
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:19,460
Oh, no, no.
558
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,094
No, I'm stuffed.
559
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,462
We ate a bunch of those little
cheese pies in the fridge.
560
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,464
Yeah.
561
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,598
- They sucked.
562
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:25,632
[grunts]
563
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:26,733
- Ahh!
- Ugh!
564
00:19:30,571 --> 00:19:33,040
[both grunting]
- Guys?
565
00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:34,708
Hey, guys.
566
00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:35,742
Honey, I'm trying.
567
00:19:35,776 --> 00:19:36,743
- Damn it.
568
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,245
[both grunting]
569
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:42,315
[both sighing]
570
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,754
- Uh, sorry about that.
571
00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:49,222
[chuckles]
572
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,658
- Do you have any more beer?
573
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,025
[chuckles]
574
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,865
- Is it OK if I sit in
the back with Beavis and--
575
00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:01,801
- No.
576
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:05,605
- Thank you, Stewart's wife.
577
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,374
Drive through.
578
00:20:07,441 --> 00:20:10,711
- Listen, Kaitlyn and I are
really upset about the--
579
00:20:10,778 --> 00:20:12,880
mostly great hang, guys.
580
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:14,682
Maybe next time at your place.
581
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:16,550
- Uh, no.
582
00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:17,618
[chuckles]
583
00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:18,719
- Classic.
584
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,587
You guys.
585
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,323
[tires squealing]
586
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:26,393
- [chuckles]
Stewart sucks.
587
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:27,628
[chuckles]
588
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:28,862
- Yeah, really.
589
00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,730
[chuckles]
Hey, Butt-Head, I think
590
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,099
we got enough coins out of the
river to get the bike fixed.
591
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,603
- Uh, that means it's enough
money to buy beer
592
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,272
with, dumbass.
593
00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:39,706
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
594
00:20:39,773 --> 00:20:41,942
Yeah, beer rules.
595
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,644
[grunts]
596
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,712
You're a good friend,
Butt-Head.
597
00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:46,913
[chuckles]
598
00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:48,349
- You're damn right.
599
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,717
[rock music]
600
00:20:54,388 --> 00:20:57,191
[bluesy rock music]
601
00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:04,397
♪ ♪
602
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,313
- Chirp.
38976
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