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When I first came to America, I found a
land of opportunity where your greatest
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wish could come true if only you were
willing to fight for it.
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So what do you wish for?
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Danger?
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00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:08,180
Speed?
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00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:09,720
Brutality? Freedom?
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What if I said you can have all that and
more with...
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Twisted Metal.
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Twisted Metal is a 22 -episode reality
TV competition sending 16 combatants
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a high -stakes demolition derby. The
only rule?
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Survive.
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Okay. From the Middle Ages to March
Madness, tournaments have enthralled the
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masses, but we are spicing things up
with cars, guns, and celebrities.
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Wait, you got Wesley?
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Well, no, that's just an example. But
Carson is very into the concept.
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Yeah. In future seasons, we'll go
national, global.
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The world will be a battleground. Just
imagine, Hong Kong, Paris, cars driving
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00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:08,190
up the Eiffel Tower. I don't mean to
interrupt your pitch, Mr. Sparks, but
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seems very expensive.
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I mean, the cars alone.
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Which is why we will require drivers to
bring their own vehicles.
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Picture it. Jay Leno facing off against
Jerry Seinfeld as they drive classic
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cars from their own personal
collections.
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Yeah, no way of doing that. And what
exactly are they fighting for?
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I mean, these are people who have
everything.
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That's a great question. Just let me get
ahead.
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The winner of my tournament will get
their greatest wish granted.
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Uh, what if they want a billion dollars?
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We can't shoulder that cost.
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Well, you wouldn't have to.
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I mean, you know what they say.
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Be careful what you wish for.
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So no one wins?
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I'm not really sure how that will play
in primetime.
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Right. Uh, do you know why you can't
look away from a car accident?
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Instinct. It triggers something in your
brain. You have no choice but to look,
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to question your own mortality.
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That is what we will put on screen.
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America won't look away.
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And if you own the eyes of America, then
you own the world.
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NBC.
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Already owns the eyes of America.
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It's called friends.
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Well, thanks for coming in. We have
something new called BattleBots, which
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very similar to your idea. So right now,
we're a path.
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Path? Path?
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Path.
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I want my five minutes back.
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Very well.
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Short -sighted fools.
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Battle bots.
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Well, if the world isn't ready, then...
Well, then I'll just
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wait until it is.
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None of that shit matters now.
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You got me?
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Yeah, but, but, John, I mean, what do we
do?
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We keep fighting.
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Pop the hood, then get behind the wheel.
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I'm gonna suck.
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Clear!
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Come on!
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Wake up!
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Hello!
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John!
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What? Did we win?
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He's dead.
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Whoa, a bomb?
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Yeah. It was a massacre.
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00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,460
I don't feel so bad about losing,
knowing the tournament got cut short.
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00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,300
No, uh, someone did win.
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Stu. Stu?
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Are you fucking... Oh!
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Now I feel worse.
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Hey, look, I hate to cut this reunion
short, but seeing as we don't have
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unlimited gas, it would be really great
if someone told me where I was driving.
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I don't know.
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It's all up to me anywhere by now.
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Just head north.
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Finally, a map I can read.
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Now the real game begins.
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Well, well, well.
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If it isn't my champion.
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Congratulations to... Give me my wish.
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And what a wish it is.
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A real Whopper.
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Are you sure you want it?
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Because there's no going back.
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Buckle me up, Stu.
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Oh, man.
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What a fantastic toilet.
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00:07:48,580 --> 00:07:50,600
Hey, where'd that door come from?
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Wow. What service.
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00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,900
I wish to go somewhere safe.
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00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,300
Away from all of this.
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Just me and Mike.
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Give me my fucking wish.
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Thank you for playing twisted math
world.
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00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,920
No.
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We're here.
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00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:18,760
You coming?
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00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,560
You want to go in first?
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00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:36,160
No, you do the honors.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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This is your house. You go first.
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00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,360
Jeez. Is your grandpa David Crockett?
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00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,200
No fucking way.
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00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:46,800
Oh!
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00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:50,880
Ha! Suck it, losers. This bed is mine.
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Ha ha.
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Oh, holy shit. This is the life.
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That chair's just turned on.
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There must be a Jenny somewhere.
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Solar energy.
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00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,000
Sounds like gas from the future.
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00:12:24,740 --> 00:12:25,740
Cool.
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00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,580
Well, aren't you full of surprises?
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Hey, John.
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I hope you like your chicken soup
chunky.
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You calling dibs on this room?
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00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:48,780
No need to.
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It was mine.
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No way.
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It's a lot.
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Yeah.
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00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,740
I've never met somebody like this.
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Like a big black hole.
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00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,680
It sucks.
128
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,740
I think that's why I needed to win the
tournament.
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00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:23,580
Not just for the outsiders, but...
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But for her,
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I fucked it all up.
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00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,210
No, you didn't. Yeah, I did.
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00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,670
We lost. I lost.
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00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,230
You were just trying to make things
better.
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00:14:41,390 --> 00:14:43,450
Maybe in this world, that's just not
possible.
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00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:53,930
So... It's time we did something.
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For us.
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00:14:59,090 --> 00:15:00,130
It's our turn.
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00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:02,870
We can make our own life here.
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00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:08,550
No more cars.
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00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:11,410
No more violence.
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Just us.
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00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:43,790
So not just us.
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00:17:07,029 --> 00:17:13,970
The, the, the... When casting a line,
you have to
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be gentle.
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00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:18,510
Like with a clutch, right? Pull too
hard, you won't be able to get your car
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00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:22,869
gear. Now, in this scenario, the car is
the fish, the hook is the gear.
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00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,569
Or is that the other way around?
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00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:29,830
I'm fishing.
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00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,590
Listen to someone who's done this
before.
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00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:34,270
You can't shoot what you can't see.
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00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:40,530
It's a lucky shot. Meanwhile, Mayhem and
I are going to fish the right...
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00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:47,410
Fine, I guess we're wasting ammo
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today. Got one!
155
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,590
Oh, headshot.
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00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:59,070
Tonight, I've prepared trout.
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Execution style.
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00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,950
Ooh, damn, that looks good.
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00:18:14,449 --> 00:18:16,270
So, how's that training going?
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00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,130
Pretty good.
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00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:23,690
She's already nailing hands from 20
yards away.
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00:18:26,370 --> 00:18:28,950
God, this is so good. You're doing the
cooking from now on.
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00:18:29,170 --> 00:18:31,890
Yeah, well, quiet shouldn't really get
within 50 feet of the pot anyway.
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00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:34,190
Um, excuse me.
165
00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:37,770
I didn't hear you complaining when you
were scarfing down my squirrel souffle.
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00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:41,070
She was stuffing that shit in her
pockets and taking it to the trash.
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00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,610
what? You fucking narc!
168
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,920
It's okay. What?
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00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:48,820
Babe, we keep you around for your
personality and your act skills.
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00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,180
That's it.
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00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:02,700
Greetings to my loyal Twisted Metal
viewers.
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00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:08,200
I come to you with a heavy heart. Our
country is still reeling from the
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senseless act of violence committed at
my tournament.
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00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:17,580
Hundreds of innocent insiders were
brutally murdered. In response, the
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megacities have formed an alliance, the
United Treaty of Insiders.
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00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:27,400
We have conducted a thorough
investigation and discovered the
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bombers. It was two competitors,
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00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,380
John Doe and Quiet.
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00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,720
What?
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00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:37,840
I wish for all the walls to come down.
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In every city, everywhere.
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00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:44,140
It's time for the outsiders to get their
fair share.
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00:19:47,580 --> 00:19:48,860
Dudes, what the fuck?
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That's not us.
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00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,540
How'd they get my vest?
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Prom.
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These evil acts are a declaration of war
against all insiders everywhere.
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00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:04,660
We will not let this attack on our way
of life stand.
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00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:08,560
The tournament was meant to be an olive
branch to the outsiders.
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00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:12,020
Unfortunately... That branch was burned.
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00:20:12,260 --> 00:20:16,200
So now, we will burn you.
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The insiders are done hiding.
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We will take back our nation by any
means necessary.
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00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:33,320
And when the outsiders are gone, we will
finally be free. And there will be no
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more need for walls.
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00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:42,420
Anyone who supports... John and Quiet
will be regarded as hostile, and anyone
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that delivers them to us will be
celebrated as a hero.
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00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,820
Either way, we will have justice.
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00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,720
My viewers, keep your eyes on your
screens.
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Stay vigilant.
201
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,540
Stay safe.
202
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:05,400
And John and Quiet, if you're out there
watching, just know
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that there is nowhere to run.
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00:21:09,959 --> 00:21:12,860
The world will be a battleground.
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00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,500
How the hell did it find this?
206
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:37,500
Touch her again and I'll show you what
we do with fish around here.
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00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,530
Kristen. Okay, Kristen.
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00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:25,150
It's me, your brother.
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00:22:26,050 --> 00:22:27,090
Do you remember me?
210
00:22:30,590 --> 00:22:31,610
Guess that's a no.
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00:23:13,550 --> 00:23:15,030
May, we gotta get out of here.
212
00:23:16,410 --> 00:23:17,289
Where's Minion?
213
00:23:17,290 --> 00:23:21,230
It's Krista. What? Krista, what about
Minion? No, Krista is the Minion.
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00:23:21,630 --> 00:23:22,630
Krista! See?
215
00:23:23,650 --> 00:23:24,650
Oh, my God.
216
00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:29,330
Hey.
217
00:23:36,970 --> 00:23:38,830
Come with me if you don't want to die.
218
00:23:39,590 --> 00:23:40,590
You?
219
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:42,430
It's like 2 .0.
220
00:23:42,860 --> 00:23:44,440
Joe! I'll hold her off.
221
00:23:46,060 --> 00:23:47,060
Joe, I say!
222
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:50,220
Good night, baby.
223
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,540
I was up there in space, all alone, for
months.
224
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,040
But all that me time gave me time to
work on me.
225
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:29,420
Okay. My whole life has been Mike and
Stu, or Sweet Tooth and Stu.
226
00:25:29,740 --> 00:25:32,460
I was done being someone else's
sidekick, so I started working up.
227
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:37,800
Push -ups, biceps, I worked all the
major muscles.
228
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,520
I learned the mechanics of the pod,
timed the orbit to crash into the Great
229
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,540
Lakes, and then I started making my way
to the cabin.
230
00:25:43,860 --> 00:25:44,920
What did you know about the cabin?
231
00:25:45,450 --> 00:25:46,249
Are you kidding?
232
00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:49,030
You talked about it constantly. Everyone
knew about it. We turned it into a
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00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:50,070
drinking game. Oh, yeah.
234
00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:54,890
I drew a map of it from memory.
235
00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:56,630
That cat is actually a horse.
236
00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:58,330
But I'm bad at drawing horses.
237
00:26:00,050 --> 00:26:01,490
Un -fucking -believable.
238
00:26:12,670 --> 00:26:14,670
So, what's the plan?
239
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,040
The insiders declared war on the
outsiders.
240
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,040
We can join the fight.
241
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,200
No, fuck that. We should run.
242
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:23,200
Calypso blamed us for the bombing.
243
00:26:24,460 --> 00:26:25,740
There's a target on our backs.
244
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,160
There's nowhere safe to go.
245
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:31,880
Yeah.
246
00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:34,220
I'm not running anymore.
247
00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:36,300
Why are you smiling?
248
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,480
What? I always smile. Not like that.
That's a, I have a plan, but you're not
249
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:42,780
gonna like it kind of smile.
250
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,360
Look, this war between the outsiders and
the insiders, it's a game, and it's
251
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:51,980
rigged. The deck will always be stacked
against people like us, unless we take
252
00:26:51,980 --> 00:26:53,200
down the dealer.
253
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,180
Oh, my God, you're not serious.
254
00:26:56,780 --> 00:26:57,780
Oh, I'm serious.
255
00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:00,680
Wait, I'm not following.
256
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,040
Me neither.
257
00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:04,440
I'm going to kill Calypso.
258
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,020
He started this whole war, and he
changed my sister.
259
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:10,660
I don't think she's your sister anymore.
260
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,360
She's minion or it doesn't matter what
she calls herself or the fact she looks
261
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:21,240
at me like I'm a stranger She's still my
sister Crystal is in there
262
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:26,820
The way I see it we take out Calypso we
get our lives back
263
00:27:26,820 --> 00:27:33,700
We might get her back too So
264
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:40,230
you want to travel across a warzone and
265
00:27:40,230 --> 00:27:42,790
hunt down the most dangerous man alive.
266
00:27:44,910 --> 00:27:45,910
Yeah, I'm in.
267
00:27:47,530 --> 00:27:50,670
Uh, did you miss the part where Calypso
sent me to space?
268
00:27:51,050 --> 00:27:53,590
Oh. And fully reanimated your sister's
corpse?
269
00:27:54,430 --> 00:27:55,430
He's right.
270
00:27:59,610 --> 00:28:00,610
We're gonna need help.
271
00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:03,610
We don't need help.
272
00:28:05,650 --> 00:28:06,650
We need cars.
273
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:26,480
with a smile to cut you like you want me
to cut
274
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:32,740
that little child inside of me and touch
your heart
275
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:57,500
I gotta say, that was the best night's
sleep I've had in years.
276
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,420
What the fuck?
277
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,260
All right, fellas. Best untie me before
I hammer -throw your shitty little car
278
00:29:08,260 --> 00:29:09,440
into that river over there.
279
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,160
Hey, yeah. No can do, pal.
280
00:29:12,380 --> 00:29:14,600
We got strict orders to bring your ass
in chains.
281
00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:16,600
Oh, yeah? From who?
282
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,080
Your pops.
283
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,260
It's holy to saw you fight the
tournament.
284
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,560
He's, uh, real impressive what's become
of his legacy.
285
00:29:24,330 --> 00:29:25,330
Daddy?
19551
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