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1
00:00:00,848 --> 00:00:02,936
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:24,353 --> 00:00:25,565
[mysterious music playing]
3
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,823
[bell ringing]
4
00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,033
All right, all right!
5
00:00:31,117 --> 00:00:33,079
Settle down
for your pop quiz now.
6
00:00:34,749 --> 00:00:37,505
-Uh, what is that?
-[Simian] Budget cuts.
7
00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:40,135
We also can't afford
the full alphabet anymore.
8
00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:42,724
So try and avoid
the letters G and T.
9
00:00:45,521 --> 00:00:47,232
Man, this school is ridiculous.
10
00:00:47,316 --> 00:00:50,071
How am I supposed to do math
after you sold our calculators?
11
00:00:50,155 --> 00:00:52,117
Ridgewood High's students
got laptops, you know.
12
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,332
[sighs] I'm well aware
the school needs laptops,
13
00:00:55,415 --> 00:00:56,668
but we decided that the money
14
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,547
would be better spent
on toilet paper.
15
00:00:58,631 --> 00:01:01,177
So I suggest you use
your immaculate hands
16
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:03,097
to count, Watterson.
17
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:05,853
Well, I hope
the answer is eight.
18
00:01:05,937 --> 00:01:07,397
How about your brain?
19
00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:10,153
I'm sure it would like
to feel useful once in a while.
20
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,240
Uh, just use your phone.
21
00:01:15,665 --> 00:01:17,627
No! Watterson,
do you want to grow up
22
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:20,131
into a meaningless parasite
that begs for free stuff
23
00:01:20,215 --> 00:01:22,929
because he has no skill
or knowledge to offer society?
24
00:01:23,012 --> 00:01:25,100
Because this is how
you become an influencer.
25
00:01:25,183 --> 00:01:26,937
[both exclaiming]
26
00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:29,526
Huh-uh.
27
00:01:29,776 --> 00:01:31,070
Ah, man.
28
00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:34,911
-[bell rings]
-All right!
29
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,165
See you all after lunch.
30
00:01:37,249 --> 00:01:38,418
Wait, my phone!
31
00:01:38,502 --> 00:01:39,420
Wait! Ms. Simian!
32
00:01:41,465 --> 00:01:43,094
Hey! Miss Simian!
33
00:01:44,806 --> 00:01:47,185
[dramatic music playing]
34
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,324
Ohhh!
35
00:01:54,408 --> 00:01:55,452
She's stealing.
36
00:01:55,536 --> 00:01:57,164
This is why the school
is even more broke
37
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,458
than the vending machine.
38
00:01:58,542 --> 00:02:00,546
Hey, this machine
swallowed my change
39
00:02:00,629 --> 00:02:01,965
and didn't give me my--
40
00:02:02,049 --> 00:02:03,217
Ohh.
41
00:02:03,301 --> 00:02:04,763
[gasps] Wait. My phone.
42
00:02:04,846 --> 00:02:06,307
She stole my phone too!
43
00:02:09,313 --> 00:02:10,315
Hey!
44
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,486
-Out the way!
-Wait a minute!
45
00:02:22,047 --> 00:02:23,091
[gasps]
46
00:02:24,009 --> 00:02:26,347
What were you trying
to do, Watterson?
47
00:02:27,349 --> 00:02:29,144
I saw you...
48
00:02:30,648 --> 00:02:31,817
[whimpers]
49
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,995
I saw, uh... I saw everything
you do for us,
50
00:02:38,079 --> 00:02:40,584
and, and uh... it inspired me.
51
00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:43,131
I wanna be a teacher,
you know, easy work hours,
52
00:02:43,214 --> 00:02:44,551
long vacations... heh.
53
00:02:44,634 --> 00:02:49,393
[laughing maniacally] Ah!
54
00:02:49,476 --> 00:02:51,480
Well, I don't have time
to drive you back,
55
00:02:51,565 --> 00:02:52,482
so you're stuck with me
56
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:53,986
while I deal
with a couple of things.
57
00:02:54,069 --> 00:02:55,488
But it should give you an idea
58
00:02:55,573 --> 00:02:57,618
of the reality
of a teacher's life.
59
00:02:57,702 --> 00:03:00,331
You see, in truth,
what I do is take care of--
60
00:03:00,415 --> 00:03:02,712
That treacherous punk!
61
00:03:03,379 --> 00:03:06,385
[tires screeching]
62
00:03:09,349 --> 00:03:10,811
[groans]
63
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:13,901
Salvatore!
Where is my stuff?
64
00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:16,071
I don't know!
A guy stole it!
65
00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:18,952
-What guy?
-I don't know his name!
66
00:03:19,036 --> 00:03:20,623
-[beeps]
-[line rings]
67
00:03:20,706 --> 00:03:21,791
[Donut cop]
Elmore police.
68
00:03:21,875 --> 00:03:24,004
Uh, yeah. Police.
I need immediate assistance.
69
00:03:24,087 --> 00:03:26,050
I got like, uh,
10-48 or whatever.
70
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:27,762
[Donut cop]
You've got... worms?
71
00:03:27,845 --> 00:03:29,599
What the...
No, I'm held hostage
72
00:03:29,682 --> 00:03:30,893
by a dangerous individual
73
00:03:30,976 --> 00:03:32,939
and she's already committed
every crime in the book,
74
00:03:33,022 --> 00:03:34,525
you're gonna have to
come up with new ones!
75
00:03:34,609 --> 00:03:36,153
[Donut cop]
Roger that. Stay on the line.
76
00:03:36,237 --> 00:03:37,322
Can you describe the perp?
77
00:03:37,405 --> 00:03:41,080
Uh, female, long black beard,
long dress...
78
00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:43,167
the top of her head
kind of looks like Mount Fuji.
79
00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:46,423
Around five foot six...
Uh, I mean, five foot five.
80
00:03:46,508 --> 00:03:48,887
Wait. Five foot four...
Four foot five?
81
00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:51,433
Stay on the line,
we're tracking your phone.
82
00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:54,398
Huh? Oh.
83
00:03:55,859 --> 00:03:56,778
[grunts]
84
00:03:59,324 --> 00:04:01,663
[laughs nervously]
85
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,380
[sighs]
86
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:07,967
[gasps]
87
00:04:08,885 --> 00:04:10,514
You rip me off again,
Salvatore,
88
00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:11,725
and the next print you leave
89
00:04:11,808 --> 00:04:13,729
will be your obituary
in the papers.
90
00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:16,735
I told you! Some big, ugly guy
with a mullet stole it!
91
00:04:16,818 --> 00:04:19,156
Track suit, rough voice
built like a fridge...
92
00:04:19,239 --> 00:04:20,158
You know the type.
93
00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:21,410
What I know as a teacher
94
00:04:21,493 --> 00:04:23,039
is that the first report
you ever got
95
00:04:23,122 --> 00:04:24,751
was from the police
instead of the school.
96
00:04:24,917 --> 00:04:25,794
[groans]
97
00:04:25,878 --> 00:04:27,005
Okay, where were we?
98
00:04:27,088 --> 00:04:29,176
Ah, yes, a teacher's job
99
00:04:29,259 --> 00:04:32,140
is to take care of young minds
and change the world
100
00:04:32,223 --> 00:04:34,311
one child at a time.
101
00:04:35,856 --> 00:04:38,319
I'm going to the pawn shop
to check if this other guy
102
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,824
sold my stuff for a quick buck.
103
00:04:40,908 --> 00:04:43,747
But just in case
I need to sweeten the deal.
104
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:46,503
Watterson, you take good care
of our friend back there.
105
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:49,049
Hey! Let me out!
106
00:04:51,721 --> 00:04:54,519
[muffled shouting]
107
00:04:54,602 --> 00:04:56,438
Okay, uh, are you comfortable?
108
00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:58,150
Would you like
some music? Heh.
109
00:04:58,234 --> 00:05:00,321
Here, um,
let me take care of you.
110
00:05:00,405 --> 00:05:01,407
There you go.
111
00:05:01,490 --> 00:05:03,912
-Have a little mint maybe?
-What the...
112
00:05:03,995 --> 00:05:05,289
What are you doing, man?
113
00:05:05,373 --> 00:05:08,379
She said, take good care of you
and I'm more terrified of her!
114
00:05:08,462 --> 00:05:11,803
So can you please relax
and let me massage your feet?
115
00:05:11,886 --> 00:05:13,932
-Aggh! Get off!
-Yeah, thanks. Now relax...
116
00:05:14,015 --> 00:05:16,019
-and let me... Come on!
-Get... Get off me!
117
00:05:17,021 --> 00:05:18,817
[sighs] He didn't have it.
118
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:22,157
It's lunchtime and I get cranky
when I'm hungry, Sal.
119
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,706
I'm gonna have to use
less humane methods on you now.
120
00:05:25,789 --> 00:05:27,585
[grunts]
121
00:05:27,668 --> 00:05:30,047
[kids' song playing]
122
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:34,473
What's the matter with him?
123
00:05:34,557 --> 00:05:36,603
You'll understand
when you have kids.
124
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:41,278
-[song continues]
-[grunting]
125
00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:43,199
[pauses song] What?
126
00:05:43,282 --> 00:05:44,952
There! He's there!
127
00:05:45,036 --> 00:05:46,497
Where? Which car is it?
128
00:05:46,581 --> 00:05:49,002
I lost it, but it was
the same guy, I swear
129
00:05:49,085 --> 00:05:50,171
Aah!
130
00:05:50,254 --> 00:05:52,885
[tires screeching]
131
00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:56,726
Ha, Russo.
132
00:05:56,809 --> 00:05:58,229
I should have known.
133
00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:00,399
-Who?
-Ahh!
134
00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:01,694
She's a teacher at my school.
135
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,573
What did she teach? Nightmares?
136
00:06:03,657 --> 00:06:05,243
And pain.
But I think she was
137
00:06:05,326 --> 00:06:07,455
technically hired
as a gym teacher.
138
00:06:10,294 --> 00:06:11,714
Hey, Russo! Don't you know
139
00:06:11,798 --> 00:06:13,510
it's wrong to steal
school supplies?
140
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:16,014
We're not
on school ground, Lucy.
141
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:17,225
Sorry, but we all gotta do
142
00:06:17,308 --> 00:06:19,062
what we gotta do
to make ends meet!
143
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,776
[tires screeching]
144
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,822
Salvatore. Get the bag.
145
00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:27,580
That's gonna be
a no, thank you.
146
00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:31,588
[laughs]
147
00:06:31,671 --> 00:06:34,426
All right. Waterson,
you grab the bag.
148
00:06:34,510 --> 00:06:37,056
[laughing]
149
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,562
Get... the bag!
150
00:06:39,645 --> 00:06:41,356
Um... okay.
151
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,070
[tires screech]
152
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:46,325
Ah! Oh.
153
00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:51,836
-[horn blares]
-Huh?
154
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:54,215
Aaah!
155
00:07:00,394 --> 00:07:02,148
[crying]
156
00:07:12,878 --> 00:07:15,257
Well, at least
she stuck the landing.
157
00:07:15,341 --> 00:07:16,259
Yes!
158
00:07:18,347 --> 00:07:19,725
[laughs]
159
00:07:19,809 --> 00:07:20,811
We've gone this far.
160
00:07:20,894 --> 00:07:22,856
We might as well
go all the way.
161
00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:24,902
What do you say, Watterson?
162
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,198
[mumbling in fear]
163
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,450
No, it's okay.
164
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,870
The police are tracking us.
165
00:07:29,954 --> 00:07:33,210
She's going down
like a lead baboon.
166
00:07:33,293 --> 00:07:35,716
[chuckles]
But of course, let's go.
167
00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:37,051
I can't wait.
168
00:07:43,690 --> 00:07:45,276
[birds screeching]
169
00:07:57,091 --> 00:08:00,264
All right,
would you like to come inside?
170
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,228
[laughs] Yes, of course.
171
00:08:03,312 --> 00:08:04,648
Let's go inside.
172
00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:07,445
[birds screeching]
173
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,201
[beeping]
174
00:08:10,284 --> 00:08:11,996
The target
has stopped moving, sir.
175
00:08:12,079 --> 00:08:15,127
Okay. Okay. Everybody,
move, move, move, move.
176
00:08:15,211 --> 00:08:17,131
[chomping]
177
00:08:17,215 --> 00:08:19,720
[whimpering]
178
00:08:24,395 --> 00:08:26,651
Oh, man, I've gotta
do something. All right...
179
00:08:27,485 --> 00:08:30,157
-[grunting] Stop! Ow!
-You really thought
180
00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:32,161
it'd be that easy
to get rid of me, huh?
181
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,000
Let's drag the key witness
down into some dank
182
00:08:35,084 --> 00:08:37,714
troglodyte hole and push him
down a shaft or something. Huh?
183
00:08:37,798 --> 00:08:39,593
[gasps] Huh? What the...
184
00:08:41,263 --> 00:08:43,392
[suspenseful music playing]
185
00:08:43,475 --> 00:08:45,605
Okay, so, first of all,
this is my house.
186
00:08:45,689 --> 00:08:47,985
So can you put that twig
back on my bed, please?
187
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,322
And that's called a stalagmite
188
00:08:50,406 --> 00:08:52,034
just before you accuse me
of some sort of crime
189
00:08:52,159 --> 00:08:53,580
against hygiene as well.
190
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,293
I didn't bring you here
to end your life, Watterson.
191
00:08:56,376 --> 00:08:58,882
Well, what is that stuff
you stole for then?
192
00:08:58,965 --> 00:09:01,344
Oh, this? It's a primeval flute
that was given to me
193
00:09:01,428 --> 00:09:03,600
as a prize in 10th grade
for inventing fire.
194
00:09:03,683 --> 00:09:05,477
I tried selling it
at the pawn shop.
195
00:09:05,562 --> 00:09:06,522
[inhales deeply]
196
00:09:06,606 --> 00:09:11,239
[screeching]
197
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:14,037
I don't know why Larry
didn't think it wouldn't sell.
198
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,333
What the...
199
00:09:16,416 --> 00:09:17,878
What is going on here?
200
00:09:17,961 --> 00:09:20,132
The school funding
is shrinking every year,
201
00:09:20,215 --> 00:09:22,178
so teachers have to hustle.
202
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:23,430
I sold the calculators
203
00:09:23,514 --> 00:09:25,184
to buy charging cables
from Sal,
204
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,604
but then Russo stole them
205
00:09:26,687 --> 00:09:27,814
because her PE class
206
00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,110
desperately needed
skipping ropes and, uh...
207
00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,198
Oh, it doesn't matter
because...
208
00:09:32,950 --> 00:09:34,954
-Ta-da!
-[Gumball gasps]
209
00:09:35,037 --> 00:09:36,582
Wait, how'd you get those?
210
00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:39,003
I actually had to use
my own money to buy them.
211
00:09:39,672 --> 00:09:42,176
-Huh? Oh.
-[sobbing] Ms. Simian...
212
00:09:42,259 --> 00:09:44,598
So this is why
you live in a gross hole
213
00:09:44,682 --> 00:09:47,395
with fossilized doo-doo
on the floor... [sniffles]
214
00:09:47,478 --> 00:09:49,566
Wait. So where did all
the school money go then?
215
00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:52,321
[upbeat rock music playing]
216
00:09:53,073 --> 00:09:53,950
[growls]
217
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,057
All that matters to me is that
218
00:10:06,141 --> 00:10:08,270
no student of mine
will be left behind.
219
00:10:08,353 --> 00:10:09,940
And that is what the life
220
00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:12,153
of a teacher is all about,
Watterson.
221
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,157
Oh, no, no. The police!
222
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,492
They're coming for you!
223
00:10:15,577 --> 00:10:16,996
[panting]
224
00:10:17,079 --> 00:10:19,125
I called them on you
and hid the phone in your car
225
00:10:19,208 --> 00:10:20,127
so they could track us.
226
00:10:20,962 --> 00:10:22,674
Wait... it's not there?
227
00:10:22,758 --> 00:10:24,970
Ah, I wouldn't worry too much,
Watterson.
228
00:10:25,054 --> 00:10:27,642
I taught most
of the police force of Elmore.
229
00:10:27,726 --> 00:10:30,356
I taught Salvatore too,
you know. Knowing him,
230
00:10:30,439 --> 00:10:32,360
he's probably the one
who stole your phone.
231
00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:36,242
Wait. What is this? Hello?
232
00:10:36,326 --> 00:10:38,873
-[explosions]
-[screaming]
233
00:10:41,169 --> 00:10:42,254
[helicopters hovering]
234
00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:45,929
We're out of ammo, sir.
235
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,682
Then send the robot dogs!
236
00:10:47,766 --> 00:10:50,062
[upbeat rock music playing]
237
00:10:52,316 --> 00:10:54,863
[Donut cop] Wait... no,
I didn't mean, like, literally!
238
00:10:58,453 --> 00:10:59,706
[grunts]
239
00:11:02,086 --> 00:11:05,050
Huh? I guess that's where
all the school money went...
240
00:11:05,134 --> 00:11:06,637
up in smoke.
241
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:09,601
Most of those cops cheated
on their test too, you know.
242
00:11:09,685 --> 00:11:11,104
[chuckles nervously]
243
00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:13,693
I think you could make
a good teacher, Watterson.
244
00:11:13,776 --> 00:11:15,738
You'll get no respect,
no support,
245
00:11:15,822 --> 00:11:18,870
no money, no life,
and no love, but...
246
00:11:18,953 --> 00:11:20,540
Huh?
247
00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:21,667
Wait!
248
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:22,711
I was gonna talk about
249
00:11:22,794 --> 00:11:24,506
how it's the most beautiful job
in the world
250
00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:26,802
because you shape
the future and stuff.
251
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,472
[Gumball] No, thank you.
Bye!
252
00:11:32,856 --> 00:11:34,860
[closing theme music playing]
17501
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