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1
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:19,252
- Hello, there!
- Hi.
2
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,488
Welcome aboard
The Cruise of Love.
3
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:23,590
I'm, Julie,
your cruise director.
4
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,191
Hi, Julie, I'm Martin Payne.
5
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:26,893
Well, Mr. Payne,
are you traveling alone?
6
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:30,897
Because we have a great singles
luau in the Borneo room.
7
00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:33,166
Oh, no. No, I got mine.
8
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,567
My, my wife.
She's in the gift shop.
9
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:36,603
Ooh, super,
now, if there's anything
10
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,038
I can do for you,
you let me know.
11
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,506
- I sure will.
- Okay.
12
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,408
You, you know, as a matter
of fact, you can.
13
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:45,345
Can you send some champagne and
some whipped cream to Room 222?
14
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:49,883
Oh, I get it. You're planning to
get your freak on, aren't you?
15
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,123
'Will, all visitors
please go ashore.'
16
00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:00,293
'The ship will be sailing
in five minutes.'
17
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,296
Wow, you know, I wish we were
sailing right now.
18
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,964
I'm expecting someone
unwanted company.
19
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:09,135
- Oh, who would that be?
- My wife's friend, Pam.
20
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,471
As a matter of fact,
I think I see her right now.
21
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,773
- Where?
- Right there.
22
00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:15,809
- Third sea lion from the left.
- Oh!
23
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,311
I-I know those whiskers
anywhere.
24
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,480
I heard that, reded shrimpy.
25
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,982
Oh, why don't I just leave you
with your company?
26
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,151
Always got to run your mouth.
27
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,821
Pam. What're you doin here?
28
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,889
W-what's the matter,
y-y-you couldn't find nobody
29
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,959
to go on a Valentine's Day
cruise with ya?
30
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:36,663
- Shut up.
- Ship ahoy, dawg!
31
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,665
Oh, nah!
32
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,834
Break! Nah, break!
33
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,136
- Nah!
- What is wrong with you?
34
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,604
Tommy, please, man.
35
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,740
Tell me you didn't hook back up
with the little fur maid.
36
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,944
Tommy, I can't believe
you're back with Pam.
37
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:29,782
I thought I told you to let
sleeping dogs lie, man.
38
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:31,384
Very funny, Tiger Lee.
39
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,520
But Tommy knows it's not
that kind of party.
40
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,455
That's right,
Pam had an extra ticket
41
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:36,656
and invited me to come along.
42
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,025
- Eh, as a friend.
- As a friend.
43
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:42,061
But you know what Pam,
I was, I was thinking
44
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,730
since we gonna be
sharin' a room
45
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,998
you know maybe you and I can--
46
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:46,733
See, that's where
I gotta stop you.
47
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,801
No, that's where
I gotta stop you.
48
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,571
The only lay that you goin' to
get is the one around your neck.
49
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,740
- You got that, boy?
- Understood.
50
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,342
- Martin, we just friends, man.
- Just friends?
51
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:59,879
Okay, good, 'cause that does
my heart just fine.
52
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:01,414
I'm still tryin' to get
the ticks off you
53
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,416
from the last time
you hooked up.
54
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,652
I'm just sayin'
this is what's going on.
55
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,422
We moving y'all.
56
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,990
- This is it. Yes!
- Hey, yo.
57
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:13,760
- Martin, where's Gina?
- Gina is in the gift shop.
58
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,361
- Hey, Tommy.
- Huh-huh.
59
00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,197
Gina is probably picking up
some new underwear
60
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,865
to go with them pumps she pack.
61
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:21,167
- Oh, is it like that now?
- Oh, it's like that.
62
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:23,603
You know what I mean. She got
them in every color, man.
63
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,873
Red, uh, black
and "Who's your daddy."
64
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,947
Hi, there. Julie again. You guys
finding everything okay?
65
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,616
Uh, no, Julie, um
66
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:40,453
could you show Pam
where the live stock is?
67
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,955
- Oh.
- Shut up, boy.
68
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,623
You are funny, Mr. Payne.
69
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,391
You should sign up
for the Amateur Night
70
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,227
in the Bermuda Triangle room.
71
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:50,863
Amateur Night? No, I don't get
down with Amateur Night.
72
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:54,901
Oh, and don't miss the Bertha
Butt Bookie Bump contest.
73
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,903
Well, ciao for now!
74
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,941
What is Julie so happy about?
75
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,477
You know what guys?
We're gonna have a fun trip.
76
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,113
- Yes, we are.
- Too bad Cole couldn't make it.
77
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,454
Hey, whassup, boys!
78
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,489
- Help me out of here, boys.
- Here you go.
79
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:20,827
- Cole!
- What's up?
80
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,328
What the hell
are you doing here, man?
81
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:24,464
What, y'all thought
y'all was going on a trip
82
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,499
with out ol' Coley-Cole?
You can forget that.
83
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,434
Wait, wait, wait. How could you
afford a trip like this?
84
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,570
I thought you were broke.
85
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,438
Stowaways don't need
no money, Pam.
86
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:33,840
- Oh.
- Duh.
87
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,508
Dude, did you know
how much trouble you can get in
88
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:36,676
for sneaking on this ship?
89
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:37,977
Really!
90
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:39,912
I'm not worried
about that, Tommy.
91
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,782
All I need is a place
to crash. Shoo.
92
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,184
No. No, no. You can't stay
with me and Gina.
93
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,253
We using every inch
of our room.
94
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,857
So, you can't stay with us,
Moby Thick.
95
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,859
Don't even think about my room.
96
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,294
Yeah.
97
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:57,864
Hold up, I mean, come on,
y'all can't expect me
98
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,300
to sleep in this big ass tuba.
99
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:01,701
You should've
thought about that
100
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,204
before you left the island,
Gilligan.
101
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,640
Oh, what? Oh, y'all gonna
play me like that?
102
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,543
Whatever, man.
Coley-Cole gonna be a'ight.
103
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,383
Oh, look!
104
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:21,387
Everybody ashore
is waving goodbye. Bye!
105
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:26,059
Bon voyage!
We goin' and you not.
106
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,628
Hey, l-look. See that big head
girl over there.
107
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,730
- She looks just like Gina.
- She does.
108
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,366
Look like Gina?
That is, that is Gina.
109
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,068
- What?
- Gina, kick off the pumps.
110
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,904
- Oh, Gina.
- Baby.. Stop the boat!
111
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,906
- Gina! Gina!
- Stop the boat!
112
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,575
- Stop. Stop!
- Gina!
113
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,744
Watch out!
114
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,914
What do you mean, you can't turn
this boat around, man?
115
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,149
You got to understand,
Mr. Payne.
116
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:53,186
There are 2600 people
aboard this ship.
117
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:56,422
No. No. Make that 2599.
118
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,491
'Cause my wife ain't on it, man.
119
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,860
Alright, Popeye?
120
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,429
Actually, Mr. Payne,
my name is Loafer.
121
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,166
Why ain't I surprised?
122
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,736
Mr. Payne, if you would
just calm down.
123
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,504
- Julie, I'm calm.
- Believe me, Julie.
124
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,206
He is calm,
'cause when he's mad
125
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:15,441
you know his ears
get to flapping a lot more.
126
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,944
Sometimes, he even takes flight.
127
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:22,582
Now ain't the time
leave it to weaver. It's not.
128
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,885
Look, guys, it's Valentine's Day
and come on
129
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,787
there's got to be something
you can do.
130
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,789
Yeah, yeah. Work it out.
131
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,023
What're you talking about?
132
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:32,592
You the one that got
my friend out there
133
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:34,460
lookin for some damn drawers.
134
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,795
Hey, how was I supposed to know
135
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,797
the gift shop was across
the street?
136
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,132
You know what?
137
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,734
There is a way to get
the two of you together.
138
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:44,804
That's what I'm talking about,
Loafer. What's up?
139
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,606
Well, just have Mrs. Payne
meet you
140
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:47,807
when we dock in St. Thomas.
141
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,809
- When is that, Loafer?
- In three days.
142
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,979
No, no. Three days, man?
That's half the trip.
143
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,647
But, don't worry, Mr. Payne.
144
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,649
We have so many activities
onboard.
145
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,385
You won't even know
your wife is missing.
146
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:01,387
O, no. I..I'll know
she's missing.
147
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:05,124
'Cause the activity I want,
y'all ain't got.
148
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,063
'We can't help
what happened to you, okay?'
149
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,598
Pam and I are about
to go take a swim now.
150
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:14,000
- You care to join us?
- Nah, man.
151
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,835
Y'all go ahead.
I got things to do.
152
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,938
What, you scared you lil' butt
might get sucked down the drain?
153
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,342
You know that's funny, Pam.
154
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,078
But I thought bears
only go near water to fish.
155
00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,416
I'm going to change my clothes.
156
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,018
Alright. We'll see you
in a minute, dawg.
157
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,654
- No. No. No, where you going?.
- What?
158
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:36,923
No, I said, I'm going
to change my clothes.
159
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,124
No, I gotta change, too.
160
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,461
You can change later. Buh-bye.
161
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:44,497
- But, Pam, how will I..
- 'Get out of here!'
162
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,366
You know, man.
It's a damn shame, man.
163
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,369
- What?
- All the fish in the sea.
164
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,705
And you are in love
with a sea lion?
165
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:57,210
- Move on, man. Move on!
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm movin'.
166
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,778
I'mma go call Gina,
make sure she bring
167
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,481
them pumps to St. Thomas.
168
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:07,787
What's up, stowaway, I thought
you'll be locked up by now.
169
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:12,391
While your laughing, I just had
a champagne brunch, okay?
170
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,893
And I'm on my way to get myself
171
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,796
one of them, uh,
Swedish messages.
172
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,866
Uh, C-Cole..
173
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,569
That, that, that's a, uh,
Swedish massage, fool!
174
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,905
That's what I said, fool.
175
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,340
- Good afternoon.
- Hey.
176
00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:28,708
You need any help
finding your state rooms?
177
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,710
No, no, no, man. We cool.
178
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,579
- This my room right here.
- Yeah, yeah, mine over there.
179
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,883
- Hey, yo, what's up, dawg--
- And, you, sir?
180
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,684
Uh, I'm sorry.
181
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:43,923
I'm, uh..
182
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,926
...I'm on the, uh,
Olympic track team.
183
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:50,897
Peace.
184
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,366
But, we have no
Olympic track team!
185
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:09,615
- Oh-oh, Tommy.
- What?
186
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:13,853
- You've been working out, huh?
- Uh, yeah, a little bit.
187
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,022
- It shows.
- Thanks, Pam.
188
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,524
Um, you missed a spot.
189
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,693
Oh, yes. I didn't see it.
190
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,305
What's up? Pam, Pam.
191
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,873
T-T-Tommy.
192
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:37,143
Cole. Where the hell
you've been, man?
193
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,379
Was, was hi-hi-hiding out
in the freezer.
194
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,717
- Want fish stick?
- Boy, take that out of my face!
195
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,719
Look, you gonna have to chill,
alright.
196
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,654
I am chillin', Tommy.
197
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,223
Okay, then, Cole, defrost.
198
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:56,829
Okay, uh, I'm gonna be
in t-the boiler room.
199
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,965
I-If y-you l-looking f-for m-me.
200
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,167
Please.
201
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,569
Anyway, um..
202
00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,438
You need some help?
203
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:07,640
No, I got it.
204
00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,408
Yes, you do.
205
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,912
- Dawggonnit.
- What's the matter?
206
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:14,914
- I'm all out of sunblock.
- Oh, oh.
207
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,183
I-I'll get you
some more. You want some more?
208
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:21,420
- Wait, what kind? I'll get it.
- Thanks, babe.
209
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:33,165
- Hey.
- Hey.
210
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,807
Can I ask you something?
211
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:45,811
Mm, sure. Yeah. Ask.
212
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:48,047
Could you do me from the back?
213
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,550
Oh, yeah, yeah. Be my pleasure.
214
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,388
Alrighty.
215
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,791
Just turn around there.
Here we go.
216
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:01,861
- Alright..
- Whoo.
217
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:05,564
- You've got nice strong hands.
- Thanks, ma'am.
218
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,567
See y-you need strong hands
in my line of work, you know.
219
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,537
Oh, and what kind of work
do you do?
220
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:13,472
Uh, it's complicated.
221
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:15,875
It'll take me all day
to explain.
222
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,711
Well, I've got all day.
223
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:22,415
What do you say, um, we continue
this, uh, in the jacuzzi?
224
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,888
- Cool! Oh, I'm Tommy.
- I'm Brenda.
225
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,823
Think I got the right ones..
226
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,066
No, he didn't play me like that!
227
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,403
Ain't this about a...
228
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,840
- Pss, pss..Pam.
- What?
229
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,876
The, uh, t-t-the b-boiler room
was locked.
230
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,612
D-do you got electric blanket
i-in your, your room?
231
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,715
I don't believe this.
232
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,783
Tommy's getting his mack on.
233
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,585
Gina missed the boat.
234
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:02,421
Martin's still short.
235
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:05,291
And I'm stuck with
Frosty, the slowman!
236
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:26,112
How you doin?
237
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,480
Alright.
238
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:31,484
It's a beautiful night, huh?
239
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:34,286
It's a'ight.
240
00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,792
Excuse me, but you look
familiar.
241
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,328
Did I..
242
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:46,332
Did I meet you in a club
or something?
243
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,001
I don't think so.
I don't go to clubs.
244
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,669
Oh, I see.
245
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:56,275
Oh, uh..got a light?
246
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,844
- No, I-I don't smoke.
- Oh.
247
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,449
Well, these things
kill you any way.
248
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:11,357
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, lady,
lady, lady! What're you doing?
249
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,125
What am I doing?
I'm jumping!
250
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:15,594
No, no, lady.
Lady, lady, watch that, lady.
251
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:16,796
Let me go! Let me go!
252
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,931
Whatever it is,
talk about it, lady!
253
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,267
No, let me go!
254
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,669
Lady, don't do this!
255
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:25,437
Lady, look, I'll get you
a match, lady.
256
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:27,540
Let me go! Just let me go!
257
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,175
- Lady, just..
- Oh.
258
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,876
Look, I can't let you
go out like this, lady.
259
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,212
- I can't let you go out like--
- No, but you don't understand.
260
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,881
My boyfriend left me and I don't
have anything to live for.
261
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,216
Lady, your boyfriend leaving
262
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:38,684
ain't no reason
to check this out, lady.
263
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:41,153
But he left me for my mother!
264
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,022
Oh! Oh, damn!
265
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,492
Y-you know that's straight out
of "Ricki Lake"
266
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,561
- I'mma you.
- Oh, you saw that show?
267
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,297
No, lady, listen, listen. It's
not that serious, okay. Listen.
268
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:54,066
- I-it is Valentine's Day, hey.
- Yes, I know.
269
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,068
My baby ain't here, either.
270
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,838
- You're here by yourself too.
- Yeah.
271
00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:01,240
Y-y-you know, I'm here
by myself, but, hey.
272
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,575
You don't see me
trying to check out.
273
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,876
- That's right.
- You know what I mean?
274
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:05,411
- That's right.
- So, look, look.
275
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,313
Let me just get you a drink,
you know
276
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,748
calm you down,
you know, get you some soup.
277
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,151
- Oh, that sounds good.
- Maybe a straight jacket.
278
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,486
No. No, I'm just joking, huh.
279
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,689
I thought I could do a little
jokey joke to
280
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:19,058
...kind of get you off that
rail.
281
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:21,093
Oh!
282
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:28,534
- Feeling better?
- Mm-mm.
283
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,270
- I'm okay. Yeah.
- Alright.
284
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,906
- Look here, uh, Ellen.
- Mm-mm.
285
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,108
Y-you've got a lot to live for.
286
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,043
You know, you, you're
a good looking woman.
287
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,678
You could get any man you want.
288
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,014
- You think so?
- Oh, hell, yeah.
289
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,549
You, you don't believe me,
do you?
290
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:47,253
- Hey, fellas! Oh, my god!
- Ain't she fine, man?
291
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,188
Ain't she a good looking woman?
292
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,064
Martin, you are so crazy!
293
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,799
No, no, you the one!
294
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,203
No, no, no. That's just
a little jokey joke.
295
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,971
- Oh.
- That's a joke, joke.
296
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,573
- Oh, okay.
- Whoo.
297
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,609
You know, I'm probably just
feeling this way
298
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:13,545
because it's Valentine's Day
and I'm all alone.
299
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:16,148
Ah, true that, true that,
I can see your point.
300
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:20,653
Yeah. You know, what I did up
there, I mean, is terrible.
301
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,821
It was almost a terrible
mistake I made
302
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,156
and Martin, I want to thank you
303
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,391
from the bottom of my heart,
really.
304
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,160
Oh. Well, look.
It's all good, you know.
305
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,996
I, uh, you know what, y-you just
need a man that appreciate
306
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,498
what you got to offer.
307
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:35,134
Now, that's what I'm seeing
and that's what I feel.
308
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:41,507
You know, I just think
that I need to lighten up
309
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,911
because I know that my dream man
must be around here somewhere.
310
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,446
- I do.
- You know what?
311
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,014
I'll do you one better.
312
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,350
You'll be surprised
what you can find
313
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,820
if you just open your eyes.
314
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,488
I think you're right.
315
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:05,364
- Hey, Tommy.
- Hey, Pam, how you doin'?
316
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:09,034
Ah, I'm alright.
I'm a little stiff.
317
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,870
I could use a lil' massage.
318
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,040
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
319
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,042
I'll call and make you
an appointment.
320
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,346
No, thanks. You know, Tommy.
321
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:23,382
Um, I was just thinking
this whole cruise thing
322
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,451
was a really good idea.
323
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,821
- Pam, I totally agree.
- You do?
324
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:30,389
Yes. Look. There's something
I wanna tell you.
325
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,024
Okay.
326
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:35,227
I want to thank you
for inviting me.
327
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,895
- Oh, that's no problem.
- No, I'm serious, Pam.
328
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,630
'Cause, if you hadn't invited me
I never would've had
329
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,200
the opportunity to meet Brenda.
330
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,571
- Brenda?
- Oh, yeah.
331
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:49,174
I mean, Brenda is the flyest
sister I have ever met.
332
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:51,643
- Is that right?
- Yes. Oh, you know what else?
333
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,712
You were absolutely right
about you and I being friends
334
00:16:53,812 --> 00:16:55,914
because, Pam, I don't know,
I just feel like I can
335
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,550
I can talk to you
about anything.
336
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:02,688
Hey, Pam.
You my dawg, girl.
337
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:06,592
- Yeah, we're dogs.
- For sure.
338
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,242
- Cole. Come here, baby.
- Mm.
339
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:25,444
Come here.
340
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,247
Why the hell are you dressed
like Mr. Bojangles?
341
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,017
Oh, you're liking this, man,
huh?
342
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,019
You digging it.
343
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:36,188
Borrowed it from
the laundry room.
344
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,597
Damn!
345
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:48,534
'Tommy's slopping that girl up
like a biscuit.'
346
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,904
I ain't trying to hear that!
347
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:55,240
- What they doing now?
- Uh, lea-leaving.
348
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,144
Man, this, this whole
Valentine's cruise thing
349
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,746
i-is whack.
350
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,548
Yeah, I got to agree with you
on that one, Pam.
351
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,084
Ever since I snuck on this ship,
I've been runnin' around here
352
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,152
like Michael Johnson.
353
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,821
Well, if I'm to be
stuck here with you
354
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:12,224
you best believe
I'mma get my drink on.
355
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,127
True, true, if I'mma be
stuck here with myself
356
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,496
you best believe
I'mma get my drink on.
357
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,398
Urgh! Bartender!
358
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:22,801
Hi! I'm Issac.
359
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:30,109
And what can I get for you
on this lovely evening?
360
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:34,613
What is everybody so damn happy
about on this cruise?
361
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,815
Oh, you all don't know!
362
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:40,519
I've been on this ship
for 20 years.
363
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,155
And this is the first time
I seen black folks on it.
364
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,092
Issac a little out of touch.
365
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:50,963
Tell me, has the Afro
gone out of style yet?
366
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:54,867
Ooh, um.. I guess not.
367
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:59,304
Issac, 'cause you're still
sporting one.
368
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,206
Um, I tell you what.
369
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,108
You catch me up on the times
370
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:07,012
and I'll treat you to all
the Bahamas Mamas you want.
371
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:08,514
Did you say Bahamas Mamas?
372
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,482
- Yeah.
- Alright. I'm on it.
373
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,818
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
374
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:15,387
H-hey, listen, um..
375
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,157
...is "Good Times" still on?
376
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:20,692
I mean, Jimmie Walker is..
377
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:23,362
...dynamite!
378
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:26,398
Yeah. I-I think you'd better
give me the Bahamas Mamas now.
379
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,167
- Okay.
- Yeah. On the double.
380
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,906
Yeah, and then..
381
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,409
...Thelma married
a football player.
382
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,578
Ooh. Ooh. Guess what?
383
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:44,816
- James died.
- James Evans died?
384
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:48,187
Yeah, he did. He did.
385
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:52,324
Damn, damn, damn!
386
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,393
I'm, I, I was devastated.
387
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,595
But, but, but, now,
how are they goin to be
388
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,864
keepin' their heads above water?
389
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,933
- Oh.
- Oh, man.
390
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,902
Could you please,
some more Mama my Bahama?
391
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,271
Oh, wait, I want Mama too.
392
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,279
Ooh, ooh..
393
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,049
Ow, my head.
394
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:29,628
- Good morning, babe.
- Good morning, Cole.
395
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,138
- Cole?
- Hmm.
396
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,645
Who is it?
397
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,647
'Room Service.'
398
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,551
I ain't order no room service.
399
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:54,820
Damn!
400
00:20:56,154 --> 00:20:58,590
Ain't nobody order
no room service.
401
00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:00,492
But a brother hungry
in the morning.
402
00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:02,160
So, I'll take it.
403
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,296
I'm Julie, your cruise director.
404
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:38,664
Hi, Julie. I'm Martin.
405
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,999
Mr. Payne. Oh, but I don't know
your name is Payne.
406
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:43,035
'Cause you just told me
you were Martin.
407
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,136
I'm sorry.
408
00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:45,871
You got to understand,
Mr. Payne.
409
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,840
There are 2600 people
aboard this ship.
410
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:59,051
Tell me you did not hook back up
with the little fur maid?
411
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,186
- Shut up.
- I'm jumpin' man!
412
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,055
No, d-d-don't!
30516
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