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1
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For Hundreds of years in Japan
there has lived a clan...
2
00:00:53,599 --> 00:00:57,519
...who have dedicated themselves to
to a secret art of self-defence
3
00:00:57,779 --> 00:00:59,569
...and survival.
4
00:01:01,239 --> 00:01:05,979
The art is so lethal that
it has made the clan invincible.
5
00:01:06,239 --> 00:01:09,239
To this day, we are known as...
6
00:01:09,449 --> 00:01:11,079
...ninjas.
7
00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:13,989
Twenty-five years ago...
8
00:01:14,209 --> 00:01:17,619
...an ancient legend
of this sacred art came alive.
9
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:22,329
It spoke of a foreign child
who would come among us...
10
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:26,709
...and become a ninja master
like none other.
11
00:01:35,479 --> 00:01:37,849
How he arrived on our shores...
12
00:01:38,059 --> 00:01:40,819
...will forever remain a mystery.
13
00:02:02,549 --> 00:02:04,999
We ninjas thought that this child...
14
00:02:05,219 --> 00:02:09,169
...would be the Great White Ninja
of the legend.
15
00:02:14,059 --> 00:02:15,519
We were wrong.
16
00:02:20,769 --> 00:02:23,229
We were very wrong.
17
00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:31,689
Haru!
18
00:03:58,369 --> 00:03:59,399
Haru.
19
00:04:25,019 --> 00:04:26,389
Gobei.
20
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,519
I need your honest opinion
about something.
21
00:04:29,729 --> 00:04:30,639
Yes, sensei.
22
00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:32,769
What do you think of Haru?
23
00:04:33,779 --> 00:04:36,269
I love my brother.
His heart's like a flower.
24
00:04:36,529 --> 00:04:38,319
His determination's like a tiger.
25
00:04:39,449 --> 00:04:42,859
He's fat, a fool
and an embarrassment to ninjas.
26
00:04:46,789 --> 00:04:50,919
Today, I am proud to be your sensei.
27
00:04:51,289 --> 00:04:54,129
This is that special time
when I can say to you...
28
00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:56,539
...you are a ninja.
29
00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:59,249
You can communicate with
other ninjas...
30
00:04:59,469 --> 00:05:03,929
...by projecting yourself
onto the Plane of Enlightenment.
31
00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:14,339
Remember...
32
00:05:15,359 --> 00:05:16,639
...on this plane...
33
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:20,109
...which can be shared by
no other mortal...
34
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:24,529
...we can always contact each other
wherever we may be.
35
00:05:24,779 --> 00:05:26,109
As a ninja...
36
00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:29,659
...you are one with the universe.
37
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,799
All of you
who are graduating today...
38
00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:50,379
...will receive the medallion
of the Tengu Warrior.
39
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:55,189
However, I give the golden medallion
to my finest student.
40
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,809
Gobei.
41
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:04,649
Forged in the fires
of confidence and discipline.
42
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:08,029
Carry it with you always.
43
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,269
Sorry, Haru.
44
00:06:38,609 --> 00:06:41,059
Congratulations, big brother.
45
00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:50,409
Wait! Sensei, wait for me!
46
00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:52,819
Sensei, I am so excited about tonight.
47
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:55,909
I have been waiting
for such a long time!
48
00:06:57,169 --> 00:07:00,619
Tonight's exercise
is for the ninjas only.
49
00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:02,499
But your job is an important one.
50
00:07:02,749 --> 00:07:05,209
You are to remain here
to protect the village...
51
00:07:05,419 --> 00:07:07,579
...and guard the dojo.
52
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:09,179
I shall do as you say.
53
00:07:09,389 --> 00:07:11,879
I shall protect the village
and guard the dojo.
54
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:14,889
And I shall water the plants.
55
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,809
Good luck. Good luck.
56
00:07:19,019 --> 00:07:21,429
Stay low so as not to be detected.
57
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,229
Good luck, my brother.
58
00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:55,459
Do not try it.
59
00:08:05,309 --> 00:08:06,939
Are you communicating with me?
60
00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:10,769
Are you communicating with me?
61
00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:20,439
Hello?
62
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:26,659
Excuse me.
Is this the Takagure dojo?
63
00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:32,749
I'm sorry.
This must be the wrong place.
64
00:08:32,969 --> 00:08:35,369
No! Please do not go.
I mean...
65
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:39,349
Yes, this is the Takagure dojo.
66
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,049
Oh, thank goodness.
67
00:08:41,269 --> 00:08:42,459
Let me take your...
68
00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:43,799
...shoes.
69
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:47,859
Thank you.
70
00:08:50,189 --> 00:08:52,519
I was told that
I could find a ninja here.
71
00:08:52,739 --> 00:08:53,899
Really?
72
00:08:54,489 --> 00:08:55,819
Please, sit.
73
00:09:00,119 --> 00:09:01,229
Wait!
74
00:09:04,039 --> 00:09:05,199
Thank you.
75
00:09:07,169 --> 00:09:08,909
That's very impressive.
76
00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:11,369
So are you a ninja?
77
00:09:14,169 --> 00:09:15,999
Yes, I am.
78
00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:17,289
But you're white.
79
00:09:17,839 --> 00:09:20,299
You're observant,
as well as beautiful.
80
00:09:20,889 --> 00:09:23,679
I didn't expect
to find a white ninja.
81
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:26,219
Do not be fooled by my skin colour.
82
00:09:26,439 --> 00:09:31,859
Have you heard of the white child who
will be the greatest ninja master?
83
00:09:32,109 --> 00:09:34,979
- Is that you?
- Some say it is so.
84
00:09:35,189 --> 00:09:37,649
You see, it is written
in this holy writ.
85
00:09:40,119 --> 00:09:42,109
This holds the teachings
of all ninjutsu...
86
00:09:42,369 --> 00:09:45,869
...that have been passed down
over five centuries.
87
00:09:46,079 --> 00:09:49,529
In this is a legend
about a Great White Ninja?
88
00:09:50,209 --> 00:09:51,489
You see here:
89
00:09:51,829 --> 00:09:55,699
"In the 16th century
there came to pass..."
90
00:09:56,169 --> 00:09:57,799
It's the wrong writ.
91
00:09:58,049 --> 00:10:02,549
This is about the sensei and twin
geishas. Also a good legend...
92
00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:06,209
...but not the one
we were looking for.
93
00:10:07,059 --> 00:10:08,599
Here is my legend.
94
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,379
"It's told that
a foreign child will come...
95
00:10:11,599 --> 00:10:14,599
...and become a ninja master
like no other."
96
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:15,929
It's burning.
97
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,389
The words are seared
into my soul.
98
00:10:18,649 --> 00:10:21,489
- It's really on fire!
- Yes, I can tell...
99
00:10:36,799 --> 00:10:39,709
They may have a second copy.
100
00:10:39,919 --> 00:10:44,829
Please tell me why you
have come to my dojo.
101
00:10:45,049 --> 00:10:48,969
I warn you that what I'm asking
might be dangerous.
102
00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:51,639
Danger is my companion.
103
00:10:52,229 --> 00:10:53,089
Miss...?
104
00:10:53,309 --> 00:10:55,269
Sally. Sally Jones.
105
00:10:55,479 --> 00:10:58,429
I am Haru.
Do not worry about Haru.
106
00:10:58,649 --> 00:11:00,269
This ninja knows no fear.
107
00:11:00,479 --> 00:11:04,899
You see, I'm a trained master
in all the weapons of battle.
108
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:15,369
That rack was not built by ninjas.
109
00:11:18,169 --> 00:11:21,369
This, however, was.
110
00:11:34,019 --> 00:11:35,479
Luck is with me...
111
00:11:35,689 --> 00:11:38,389
...for this sacred shrine
holds the ashes...
112
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:42,429
...of our fallen ninja warriors.
113
00:11:47,199 --> 00:11:49,149
Sensei is going to kill me!
114
00:11:51,329 --> 00:11:52,869
Takure.
115
00:11:54,789 --> 00:11:56,359
Master Go.
116
00:11:59,459 --> 00:12:00,699
Tampo?
117
00:12:02,709 --> 00:12:03,989
Kai?
118
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:07,419
I think they worked as a team.
119
00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:10,789
Tell me why you are
in need of a ninja.
120
00:12:11,009 --> 00:12:14,179
Ninjas can get into places
without being seen.
121
00:12:14,469 --> 00:12:17,839
What I need requires great stealth.
122
00:12:18,809 --> 00:12:22,479
You are in luck.
My highest grades were in stealth.
123
00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:27,149
Here's an example. Close your eyes,
turn around and count to nine.
124
00:12:27,359 --> 00:12:29,729
When you open them,
I will be gone.
125
00:12:33,239 --> 00:12:35,779
One, two...
126
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,529
...three, four...
127
00:12:39,369 --> 00:12:42,239
...five, six...
128
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,409
...seven, eight...
129
00:12:46,089 --> 00:12:47,079
...nine.
130
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:49,749
Hello?
131
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,419
Here I am.
132
00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:56,879
Sally Jones, I accept
your dangerous mission.
133
00:12:57,099 --> 00:12:59,299
Oh, that's great.
Thank you.
134
00:12:59,519 --> 00:13:01,969
Here's my problem.
I'm seeing this man.
135
00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:05,429
- You have a man friend.
- I'm suspicious of him.
136
00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:09,809
- He's seeing another woman.
- I think it's bigger than that.
137
00:13:10,029 --> 00:13:12,979
I've discovered he has
a meeting tomorrow.
138
00:13:13,199 --> 00:13:15,519
Excellent.
You too should be a ninja.
139
00:13:15,739 --> 00:13:19,519
Find out what he's up to.
His name's Martin Tanley...
140
00:13:19,739 --> 00:13:23,359
...and he has a limo
with this license plate number.
141
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:31,249
3-5-1-0-2.
Where shall I contact you?
142
00:13:31,509 --> 00:13:34,129
It's important that
you don't contact me.
143
00:13:34,339 --> 00:13:36,579
I'll contact you before I leave.
144
00:13:37,089 --> 00:13:40,629
Whatever you wish. I'll follow
your boyfriend, Sally.
145
00:13:40,849 --> 00:13:43,929
My eyes are like
the tentacles of a squid.
146
00:13:44,139 --> 00:13:45,389
Good.
147
00:13:45,939 --> 00:13:47,269
I guess.
148
00:13:47,479 --> 00:13:48,679
Thank you.
149
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,429
Yes! I got you.
150
00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:49,989
Good morning, Mr. Tanley.
151
00:14:50,209 --> 00:14:51,159
Nobu.
152
00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:53,619
It's all set.
They'll meet us here.
153
00:14:53,839 --> 00:14:55,539
Let's have a look at it.
154
00:14:56,249 --> 00:14:58,789
- Oh, yes.
- It's a perfect counterfeit.
155
00:14:59,009 --> 00:15:01,879
One we can duplicate
10 million times.
156
00:15:11,059 --> 00:15:13,899
Martin Tanley,
attack me with your front gate...
157
00:15:14,109 --> 00:15:16,599
...I come in the back door.
158
00:15:19,359 --> 00:15:21,439
Oh, yes. They are beautiful.
159
00:15:21,649 --> 00:15:24,609
- I have some bad news.
- What?
160
00:15:24,819 --> 00:15:27,909
The plates are for
only one side of the bill.
161
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:29,569
Excuse me?
162
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:33,959
- The plates are in Los Angeles.
- Why?
163
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:36,209
- I don't know.
- You're paid to know.
164
00:15:36,589 --> 00:15:39,499
I arranged to get this set of plates.
165
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:44,459
I just paid a million dollars for
one side of a 10,000 yen bill.
166
00:15:44,679 --> 00:15:48,009
- What good does that do me?
- No good.
167
00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:53,429
Here's some advice
for your next life:
168
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:55,809
Never take a job you
can't complete.
169
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:58,779
I'm sorry I posed as a ninja,
but this woman needed my help.
170
00:16:58,999 --> 00:17:00,739
It's you who needs help.
171
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:04,289
The police believe
a ninja committed a murder.
172
00:17:04,499 --> 00:17:06,909
Believe me, sensei,
I killed no one.
173
00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:11,129
I do believe you, Haru.
But I'm worried.
174
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:14,509
Don't worry about me.
The woman's in trouble.
175
00:17:14,719 --> 00:17:17,509
Is it likely
that this woman hired you...
176
00:17:17,729 --> 00:17:21,139
...so she could blame
someone for this murder?
177
00:17:21,349 --> 00:17:25,569
She's incapable of such things.
She is as lovely as a dove.
178
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:30,019
It sounds to me you are being
led around by your short sword.
179
00:17:30,779 --> 00:17:34,649
Gobei called her hotel.
There's no one named Sally Jones.
180
00:17:34,909 --> 00:17:39,239
A woman such as you described
had the name Alison Page.
181
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,359
Perhaps she gave a false name.
182
00:17:42,579 --> 00:17:44,819
Perhaps she gave you the false name.
183
00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:47,799
Believe me.
This woman's telling the truth.
184
00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:51,009
You are unable to tell
truth from untruth.
185
00:17:51,219 --> 00:17:54,379
Impossible.
My ninja intuition tells me this.
186
00:17:54,589 --> 00:17:58,809
You don't have ninja intuition,
or even normal intuition.
187
00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:01,719
My feelings tell me
Sally Jones is in trouble.
188
00:18:01,939 --> 00:18:04,179
I must protect her in America.
189
00:18:04,399 --> 00:18:08,009
What makes you think you can
find her in America?
190
00:18:10,069 --> 00:18:11,349
I have this.
191
00:18:15,279 --> 00:18:18,979
I must go to the hills of Beverly,
and save Sally Jones.
192
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:23,829
And prove, once and for all,
that I am the Great White Ninja.
193
00:18:26,919 --> 00:18:29,999
I will miss you.
Goodbye.
194
00:18:30,629 --> 00:18:31,579
Goodbye.
195
00:18:44,059 --> 00:18:48,189
Gobei, I've always looked up to you,
and you've always looked out for me.
196
00:18:48,399 --> 00:18:50,389
But now I'll look out for myself.
197
00:18:50,649 --> 00:18:54,729
Be careful in your travels.
The world is dangerous.
198
00:19:01,079 --> 00:19:02,739
Thank you, big brother.
199
00:19:07,669 --> 00:19:10,999
Though I think it is wrong for you
to make this journey...
200
00:19:11,919 --> 00:19:13,959
...I want you to take this.
201
00:19:14,799 --> 00:19:17,249
Use them only for necessities.
202
00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:22,129
Believe in yourself, my son.
203
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:24,219
I know you will succeed.
204
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:25,759
Thank you, sensei.
205
00:19:26,019 --> 00:19:29,049
There is no better father
that a boy could have had.
206
00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:30,469
Go, Haru.
207
00:19:34,819 --> 00:19:36,229
Wait! Wait up!
208
00:19:36,439 --> 00:19:38,689
Goodbye, everyone!
209
00:19:43,739 --> 00:19:46,199
I'm going to miss him.
210
00:19:46,409 --> 00:19:47,989
No, you will not.
211
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,329
Because you are going with him.
212
00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:52,279
No! Please!
Anything but that!
213
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,539
Goodbye, my family!
214
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,499
See you! Don't worry...
215
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:01,589
You'll be his shadow.
216
00:20:01,799 --> 00:20:04,509
No one can know
you are helping him...
217
00:20:04,759 --> 00:20:06,469
...especially Haru.
218
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:08,309
Goodbye, everyone!
219
00:20:11,849 --> 00:20:13,559
I'll take your bag.
220
00:20:20,899 --> 00:20:23,139
Empty your pockets, please.
221
00:20:53,599 --> 00:20:57,179
I am sure you'd like to know
who I am and what I do.
222
00:20:57,399 --> 00:21:00,269
But as part of my creed,
I cannot tell you.
223
00:21:00,479 --> 00:21:04,479
My identity must remain
mysterious and my mission secret.
224
00:21:04,699 --> 00:21:07,529
- I cannot reveal it to you.
- Why not?
225
00:21:08,449 --> 00:21:10,819
Because I would then
have to kill you.
226
00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:12,609
Daddy!
227
00:21:13,829 --> 00:21:16,399
Daddy, he said
he was going to kill me!
228
00:21:18,999 --> 00:21:20,329
What'd you say?
229
00:21:20,539 --> 00:21:23,249
I was relating to the child
the importance...
230
00:21:33,429 --> 00:21:35,509
That's it. Grab it.
231
00:22:28,149 --> 00:22:29,649
Thanks, asshole!
232
00:22:30,779 --> 00:22:32,189
You are welcome.
233
00:22:55,759 --> 00:22:56,789
What happened?
234
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,799
The plates were taken
by the gang, Kobudosai.
235
00:23:00,019 --> 00:23:02,339
I want them back.
236
00:23:02,559 --> 00:23:03,559
It's being arranged.
237
00:23:03,769 --> 00:23:06,309
But it's delicate,
not like in Japan.
238
00:23:06,519 --> 00:23:09,609
Nobu, this is Beverly Hills.
Everyone's delicate.
239
00:23:09,819 --> 00:23:12,569
That's why crooks like me
are respected.
240
00:23:12,819 --> 00:23:15,939
- My dear, how was your shopping?
- Good.
241
00:23:16,159 --> 00:23:17,319
Share some lunch?
242
00:23:32,459 --> 00:23:35,709
- May I take your bag?
- Thanks, asshole.
243
00:23:36,509 --> 00:23:37,969
You're welcome, sir.
244
00:23:57,739 --> 00:24:01,069
You see, sensei,
it is all coming together.
245
00:24:12,999 --> 00:24:17,419
Seventy-three minutes to deliver
two suitcases and a garment bag.
246
00:24:17,629 --> 00:24:19,209
Do you have an explanation?
247
00:24:19,429 --> 00:24:24,849
I seem to be coming down with a mild
case of tunnel carpal syndrome.
248
00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:28,559
I think it's from carrying
heavy garment bags.
249
00:24:28,769 --> 00:24:33,389
I don't want to go on disability
and sue the company for millions.
250
00:24:33,609 --> 00:24:36,059
So I figured
I would just pace myself.
251
00:24:36,279 --> 00:24:40,189
Mr. Washington, everything
you do irritates me.
252
00:24:40,819 --> 00:24:42,899
I'm gonna go soak my wrists.
253
00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:46,359
May I help you, sir?
254
00:24:46,579 --> 00:24:50,079
Yes. I am looking for
a Sally Jones.
255
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,749
I'm sorry. I don't see
that name in my computer.
256
00:24:54,959 --> 00:24:56,289
Now, if you'll excuse me.
257
00:24:56,499 --> 00:24:59,789
Is the cost of your lodgings great?
258
00:25:00,009 --> 00:25:03,259
Compared to what?
A hut in a rice paddy?
259
00:25:03,509 --> 00:25:08,339
We're a five-star hotel with 800
rooms booked six months in advance.
260
00:25:08,559 --> 00:25:10,549
- I have money.
- I'm sure you do.
261
00:25:11,429 --> 00:25:15,729
- Unfortunately, we don't take wampum.
- Do you take gold?
262
00:25:19,979 --> 00:25:21,149
Front!
263
00:25:22,069 --> 00:25:25,149
Perhaps I shall send
Dom Perignon to your room?
264
00:25:25,409 --> 00:25:27,029
I prefer to be alone tonight.
265
00:25:27,239 --> 00:25:29,779
Perhaps later I'll meet
your friend Don.
266
00:25:31,949 --> 00:25:33,779
1 -A.
267
00:25:34,619 --> 00:25:36,449
My wrists!
268
00:25:36,879 --> 00:25:38,699
What you got in here, car radios?
269
00:25:39,129 --> 00:25:40,289
Here you go, sir.
270
00:25:40,549 --> 00:25:43,379
Welcome to the Rodeo Plaza Hotel.
271
00:26:00,319 --> 00:26:02,519
What are you?
A spy or something?
272
00:26:02,729 --> 00:26:04,149
A spy?
273
00:26:04,779 --> 00:26:07,979
A spy is like a gnat
compared to a ninja.
274
00:26:08,449 --> 00:26:09,399
Ninja?
275
00:26:09,659 --> 00:26:12,359
You're a ninja? Get out of here!
You're a ninja!
276
00:26:12,579 --> 00:26:13,949
Yes, I am a ninja.
277
00:26:14,159 --> 00:26:17,579
I took karate lessons.
I'm not as advanced as you.
278
00:26:17,789 --> 00:26:21,119
I'm a tangerine belt, orange belt.
279
00:26:21,339 --> 00:26:24,419
I'm one of them citrus colours.
You know?
280
00:26:24,839 --> 00:26:28,339
Very admirable.
Then perhaps you'll know...
281
00:26:28,549 --> 00:26:30,379
...what these are.
282
00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:45,439
Man, that was dope!
283
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,309
Are you a third-degree black belt?
284
00:26:48,529 --> 00:26:51,729
My black belt
is like the inside of a coffin...
285
00:26:51,949 --> 00:26:53,859
...on a moonless night.
286
00:26:56,289 --> 00:26:59,069
- That's pretty black.
- It is a black art.
287
00:26:59,289 --> 00:27:01,959
And I, Haru, am the blackest
of the black.
288
00:27:02,169 --> 00:27:05,369
Or, actually,
the Great White, black art...
289
00:27:05,589 --> 00:27:07,159
...blackest master.
290
00:27:07,379 --> 00:27:08,629
Hey, man.
291
00:27:09,339 --> 00:27:11,419
Do you know what I do every day?
292
00:27:11,629 --> 00:27:13,429
- No. What?
- I'm running.
293
00:27:13,639 --> 00:27:16,469
I'm always running.
My neighbourhood's bad.
294
00:27:16,679 --> 00:27:19,769
I run to get cigarettes,
to take out the trash.
295
00:27:19,979 --> 00:27:22,599
You know why?
Whenever I leave my house...
296
00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:24,939
...somebody's waiting
to kick my ass.
297
00:27:25,149 --> 00:27:29,809
Show me a little of what you know.
A kick or a jab. Something.
298
00:27:30,069 --> 00:27:32,859
If I do, give me
your solemn promise...
299
00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:35,239
...not to question my authority.
300
00:27:35,449 --> 00:27:38,119
No problem, man.
I went to Catholic school.
301
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:42,699
All right then, Joey.
I'll do what I can.
302
00:27:45,579 --> 00:27:48,949
Lesson number one:
Always be on your guard.
303
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:52,169
Always be on my guard. All right.
You the ninja.
304
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:53,409
On my guard.
305
00:27:56,599 --> 00:27:58,419
Lesson number two:
306
00:27:58,639 --> 00:28:01,559
Your foe's back can
quickly become his front.
307
00:28:01,769 --> 00:28:05,599
Lesson 34: The technique
for ripping a man's head off...
308
00:28:05,809 --> 00:28:07,639
...is by using your bare hands.
309
00:28:07,859 --> 00:28:11,809
This requires discipline.
Years or decades to achieve.
310
00:28:12,029 --> 00:28:14,649
I suggest that
you practise on chickens.
311
00:28:15,029 --> 00:28:15,889
Chickens?
312
00:28:16,109 --> 00:28:18,599
Ninja secret. Chickens.
313
00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:22,739
Here is what I was looking for, Joey.
314
00:28:22,949 --> 00:28:25,709
A Beverly Hills disguise.
315
00:28:25,919 --> 00:28:30,289
Something simple and natural,
yet subtle and cunning.
316
00:28:30,499 --> 00:28:31,749
You wait here.
317
00:28:32,129 --> 00:28:33,619
I got your back.
318
00:28:42,969 --> 00:28:45,929
- You look like a pimp.
- Thank you.
319
00:28:46,349 --> 00:28:50,399
As a pimp, I'll blend into
the city like MSG into miso soup.
320
00:28:50,649 --> 00:28:54,019
- It's time for me to find my dove.
- How do we do that?
321
00:28:54,229 --> 00:28:56,519
She's rich, beautiful and blond.
322
00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:59,689
How many rich blonds
could there be?
323
00:28:59,909 --> 00:29:03,489
Natural blondes?
I'm in. Let's do it.
324
00:29:03,739 --> 00:29:05,819
We are entering
a dangerous phase.
325
00:29:06,039 --> 00:29:08,359
A mistake could
jeopardize Sally's life.
326
00:29:08,579 --> 00:29:11,329
So what are you saying?
I can't go?
327
00:29:12,669 --> 00:29:13,529
Sally?
328
00:29:13,749 --> 00:29:16,589
Oh, my gosh!
Get away from me, you creep!
329
00:29:18,169 --> 00:29:21,259
I thought we was homies.
You're my boy, my ninja.
330
00:29:21,509 --> 00:29:24,759
- We're like this.
- A ninja master knows best.
331
00:29:24,969 --> 00:29:28,179
You're questioning my authority.
332
00:29:28,389 --> 00:29:29,719
You're right.
333
00:29:29,939 --> 00:29:34,599
- lf you need me, I'll be at the hotel.
- Okay. Good work today.
334
00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:37,349
Sally?
335
00:29:45,579 --> 00:29:46,949
Sally Jones!
336
00:30:20,729 --> 00:30:22,889
I mistook you for a friend of mine.
337
00:30:23,149 --> 00:30:25,359
You look like her.
I mean, him.
338
00:30:25,569 --> 00:30:29,899
Up close, you don't look like either.
They are twins.
339
00:30:30,159 --> 00:30:33,079
And they...
This is nice.
340
00:30:33,459 --> 00:30:36,819
Excuse me, I have to be going.
Thank you.
341
00:30:56,139 --> 00:30:59,059
Sally! Sally Jones!
It is I, Haru!
342
00:30:59,269 --> 00:31:02,479
- Why are you here?
- You said you needed a ninja.
343
00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:07,319
I've come many miles
disguised as a pimp to help you.
344
00:31:12,619 --> 00:31:14,159
Just go away.
345
00:31:17,829 --> 00:31:19,109
I'll rescue you.
346
00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:21,869
I don't need to be rescued.
Just leave.
347
00:31:22,789 --> 00:31:25,329
I see. Very smart.
348
00:31:25,589 --> 00:31:29,339
It is better that you
not let them know I am here.
349
00:31:29,549 --> 00:31:31,669
Here, take this.
350
00:31:33,389 --> 00:31:38,099
I discovered your boyfriend is
a counterfeiter and a killer.
351
00:31:38,559 --> 00:31:41,809
You can be sure he's
cheating on you too.
352
00:31:42,019 --> 00:31:45,389
Do not despair.
I will be ever-vigilant.
353
00:31:45,609 --> 00:31:49,689
I'll be watching your every move.
Making sure that as the...
354
00:31:52,409 --> 00:31:55,109
Do not be afraid, my dove.
355
00:31:55,489 --> 00:31:57,319
I will be watching you.
356
00:31:58,119 --> 00:31:59,449
There you are.
357
00:32:07,629 --> 00:32:12,839
We'll see who is the hunter
and who is the prey, Martin Tanley.
358
00:32:23,809 --> 00:32:28,229
Martin Tanley, you have left a trail
a sloth could follow.
359
00:32:41,909 --> 00:32:44,119
Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Ozaru.
360
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:49,039
- It's best we resolve our differences.
- Perfect agreement.
361
00:32:49,249 --> 00:32:51,919
Cut the bullshit.
How much for your plates?
362
00:32:52,129 --> 00:32:53,709
You have it backwards.
363
00:32:53,929 --> 00:32:57,839
The Kobudosai will buy your plates.
364
00:32:58,049 --> 00:33:02,719
Do you think you can waltz in,
grab the plates and run the show?
365
00:33:02,929 --> 00:33:06,139
You don't have a choice,
Mr. Tanley.
366
00:33:10,439 --> 00:33:13,389
I will know. I will do.
367
00:33:14,109 --> 00:33:16,519
I am one with the universe.
368
00:33:25,249 --> 00:33:27,449
Holy Shinto!
369
00:33:29,079 --> 00:33:32,119
I am one with the universe.
370
00:33:39,929 --> 00:33:41,969
No, I am not...
371
00:33:42,309 --> 00:33:45,309
...one with the universe!
372
00:33:48,729 --> 00:33:49,839
Let's discuss...
373
00:33:50,059 --> 00:33:52,679
...how much we're going to give you...
374
00:33:53,019 --> 00:33:54,519
...for your plates.
375
00:34:53,539 --> 00:34:54,659
Get out!
376
00:35:14,229 --> 00:35:16,219
Holy Shinto!
377
00:35:16,439 --> 00:35:18,559
Help! Police!
378
00:35:18,859 --> 00:35:20,019
No! No!
379
00:35:20,279 --> 00:35:21,439
I did not do it!
380
00:35:31,039 --> 00:35:35,079
This is the site of a gangland
murder in Little Tokyo.
381
00:35:35,289 --> 00:35:38,489
Witnesses say the assailant
had tattoos...
382
00:35:38,709 --> 00:35:41,249
...and may be a ninja.
383
00:35:41,499 --> 00:35:46,929
He matches an Interpol description
of a man wanted in Japan for murder.
384
00:35:52,929 --> 00:35:54,389
Come to papa, baby!
385
00:35:55,729 --> 00:36:00,889
Keep practising, Joey, and some
day you will choke that chicken.
386
00:36:01,109 --> 00:36:02,479
For Pete's sake.
387
00:36:02,689 --> 00:36:06,019
Who is sloppy and messing up?
388
00:36:06,569 --> 00:36:09,139
Getting in the way all the time.
389
00:36:12,659 --> 00:36:13,989
Sensei.
390
00:36:14,199 --> 00:36:19,359
Meditate on me, Haru, and we'll
meet on the Plane of Enlightenment.
391
00:36:27,259 --> 00:36:30,289
Help!
I must concentrate!
392
00:36:30,509 --> 00:36:33,049
- I am one with the universe!
- Here, Haru!
393
00:36:33,299 --> 00:36:35,049
I am here.
394
00:36:35,469 --> 00:36:36,549
I hate this!
395
00:36:40,139 --> 00:36:41,339
Thank you, sensei.
396
00:36:45,109 --> 00:36:47,429
- Hello, my son
- Hello, sensei.
397
00:36:47,649 --> 00:36:51,399
- There's a problem you are facing.
- Not really.
398
00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:55,909
It's just that I have been accused
of another murder...
399
00:36:56,159 --> 00:36:57,359
...or two.
400
00:36:57,579 --> 00:37:00,609
- Come home, Haru.
- I cannot, sensei.
401
00:37:00,959 --> 00:37:03,579
I need your help
finding Sally Jones.
402
00:37:03,789 --> 00:37:06,279
I've considered several techniques.
403
00:37:06,499 --> 00:37:09,839
I could find the names of all
BMW sales...
404
00:37:10,049 --> 00:37:14,129
...checking on all the Joneses,
then visiting them. Or...
405
00:37:14,639 --> 00:37:16,509
You could try a phone book.
406
00:37:20,559 --> 00:37:22,269
A phone book.
407
00:37:22,479 --> 00:37:25,729
- Then resume your quest.
- I will, sensei.
408
00:38:11,149 --> 00:38:13,719
You thought, perhaps,
an experienced ninja...
409
00:38:13,939 --> 00:38:15,599
...would not be ready for you.
410
00:38:20,449 --> 00:38:24,489
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo.
Do not forget that.
411
00:38:25,119 --> 00:38:27,909
I am one with the universe!
412
00:38:58,529 --> 00:39:01,699
I am Haru of the Takagure...
413
00:39:11,329 --> 00:39:13,369
Alison.
414
00:39:17,129 --> 00:39:18,129
Hello, Alison.
415
00:39:18,549 --> 00:39:20,869
- Did Martin say when he'd be back?
- No.
416
00:39:21,129 --> 00:39:24,299
That's strange.
We have business to go over.
417
00:39:25,929 --> 00:39:31,349
It appears Sally's using her
false name with these people.
418
00:39:31,639 --> 00:39:36,389
Very clever, Sally.
You really should be a ninja.
419
00:39:44,659 --> 00:39:47,029
There's something's wrong here.
420
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,529
I am the only one
who is calling her Sally Jones.
421
00:39:53,329 --> 00:39:55,739
How could she do this to me?
422
00:41:44,559 --> 00:41:47,599
Do not move, Alison... Alison Page!
423
00:41:47,819 --> 00:41:50,979
The guards could kill us both.
424
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,069
You are a liar, Sally...
Sally Jones!
425
00:41:54,279 --> 00:41:57,239
I'm sorry that I gave you
a false name.
426
00:41:57,449 --> 00:42:00,739
I only did it so Tanley
wouldn't know I hired you.
427
00:42:01,659 --> 00:42:03,989
Your lies bounce
like Ping-Pong balls.
428
00:42:04,209 --> 00:42:06,619
I am not lying to you, Haru.
429
00:42:06,959 --> 00:42:11,499
In fact, you've helped me.
You found out what I needed to know.
430
00:42:12,049 --> 00:42:14,129
- I did?
- Yes.
431
00:42:14,549 --> 00:42:18,089
Look. My sister Carla
worked for Tanley.
432
00:42:18,349 --> 00:42:20,469
She died mysteriously.
433
00:42:20,679 --> 00:42:24,809
I suspected Tanley, but I couldn't
prove anything until you.
434
00:42:26,059 --> 00:42:28,769
But you're in love with Tanley.
435
00:42:29,109 --> 00:42:32,889
I got involved with him
to find out about Carla.
436
00:42:33,109 --> 00:42:35,649
He doesn't know I'm her sister!
437
00:42:35,859 --> 00:42:39,649
I cannot tell the truth
from the untruth.
438
00:42:43,789 --> 00:42:44,869
There's no time!
439
00:42:45,079 --> 00:42:48,499
If I find the plates, I'll
get him. Believe me!
440
00:42:48,789 --> 00:42:52,489
I do. I've never
stopped believing in you.
441
00:42:52,709 --> 00:42:56,129
You're not alone.
Great White Ninja's on your case.
442
00:42:56,429 --> 00:42:57,919
Thank you, Haru.
443
00:43:07,389 --> 00:43:09,189
Quick! Bedroom, bedroom!
444
00:43:09,649 --> 00:43:11,439
Go! Go!
445
00:43:15,489 --> 00:43:17,769
- What are you doing?
- Looking for you.
446
00:43:17,989 --> 00:43:21,109
I thought I'd make lunch for you.
447
00:43:21,329 --> 00:43:23,699
- I have a meeting.
- Wait!
448
00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:48,049
Let me take you to The Grill.
449
00:43:48,269 --> 00:43:51,769
I can't. Not today.
I'm in a bit of a hurry.
450
00:43:57,529 --> 00:43:59,399
Hopefully, I'll see you later.
451
00:43:59,819 --> 00:44:03,189
Call a friend.
Have a lovely afternoon.
452
00:44:03,409 --> 00:44:06,779
Since I can't go,
take them to lunch instead.
453
00:44:08,159 --> 00:44:10,529
Have a great meeting. Bye!
454
00:44:20,259 --> 00:44:21,249
Good job!
455
00:44:21,469 --> 00:44:22,459
Thank you.
456
00:44:22,679 --> 00:44:26,129
I don't know what to do.
I can't find those plates.
457
00:44:26,349 --> 00:44:30,129
Do not be disheartened.
I know Tanley's next move.
458
00:44:32,099 --> 00:44:34,429
I have discovered his schedule...
459
00:44:34,649 --> 00:44:36,139
...in this date book.
460
00:44:36,809 --> 00:44:38,189
That's great.
461
00:45:59,899 --> 00:46:01,559
Shrimp? Shrimp?
462
00:46:20,249 --> 00:46:21,789
I gotcha!
463
00:46:27,009 --> 00:46:28,169
Look at this!
464
00:46:30,339 --> 00:46:33,919
Word is out that
what happened could start a war.
465
00:46:34,139 --> 00:46:35,839
They can have a war.
466
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:39,389
Do not underestimate the Kobudosai.
467
00:46:39,599 --> 00:46:41,469
We're not exactly kittens.
468
00:47:07,749 --> 00:47:10,289
Have you met the ink specialist?
469
00:47:10,959 --> 00:47:13,999
Chet Walters.
I'm told he's the best.
470
00:47:14,219 --> 00:47:17,799
Good. He'll print
the front half of the bill tomorrow.
471
00:47:18,009 --> 00:47:19,589
No complications.
472
00:47:19,809 --> 00:47:24,599
What about this ninja
the police think killed Ozura?
473
00:47:24,849 --> 00:47:27,089
We're lucky there's a suspect.
474
00:47:27,309 --> 00:47:30,309
And a white ninja.
Who ever heard of that?
475
00:47:37,069 --> 00:47:39,819
Tanley's at the first table
on the right.
476
00:48:03,519 --> 00:48:04,629
Please don't!
477
00:48:13,019 --> 00:48:16,059
Do you know how long it took me
to do my hair?
478
00:48:48,639 --> 00:48:49,719
Hurry, my dove!
479
00:48:50,519 --> 00:48:52,179
What's she doing here?
480
00:49:03,949 --> 00:49:06,569
- I know how to get the plates.
- You do?
481
00:49:06,789 --> 00:49:08,159
That's great.
482
00:49:10,539 --> 00:49:11,699
They're coming.
483
00:49:11,919 --> 00:49:14,489
A ninja knows when he's in danger.
484
00:49:14,709 --> 00:49:16,249
Shoot them!
485
00:49:19,169 --> 00:49:22,169
Now we are in danger.
We are really in danger!
486
00:49:33,479 --> 00:49:35,099
I'm one with the chicken.
487
00:49:35,349 --> 00:49:37,229
Keep practising, Joey.
488
00:49:44,279 --> 00:49:45,359
Where...?
489
00:49:51,079 --> 00:49:53,489
Thank you for letting me
stay here.
490
00:49:53,709 --> 00:49:55,499
It is my pleasure, Alison.
491
00:49:55,919 --> 00:49:58,829
Besides, there is no place
for you to go.
492
00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:01,959
Stay here. Tanley will be
watching you.
493
00:50:02,919 --> 00:50:04,749
Especially your apartment.
494
00:50:06,429 --> 00:50:10,419
I'll protect you
with all of my being.
495
00:50:13,469 --> 00:50:15,629
I'm so lucky I found you.
496
00:50:16,139 --> 00:50:17,719
You really are courageous.
497
00:50:19,359 --> 00:50:22,519
If only I had caught Tanley in Japan.
498
00:50:22,779 --> 00:50:26,939
Today, you'd be basking in the
safety of our dojo...
499
00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:30,939
...where I'd bring you
soap and sweet-smelling oils...
500
00:50:31,159 --> 00:50:34,279
...that you could rub
all over your body.
501
00:50:34,499 --> 00:50:35,529
And then...
502
00:50:36,959 --> 00:50:40,159
I am sorry. I got carried away.
503
00:50:40,669 --> 00:50:42,209
It's okay.
504
00:50:42,459 --> 00:50:45,209
Your loyalty is most appreciated.
505
00:50:46,969 --> 00:50:49,879
Well, I guess it's time to turn in.
506
00:50:50,469 --> 00:50:54,719
- Do you want the bed or the couch?
- Which would you prefer?
507
00:50:55,389 --> 00:50:56,769
Couch is fine for me.
508
00:50:56,979 --> 00:50:58,969
That would be fine for me too.
509
00:51:07,359 --> 00:51:08,439
Good night.
510
00:51:08,819 --> 00:51:09,649
Good night.
511
00:51:29,669 --> 00:51:33,589
Don't worry, he's an ink specialist
and suspects nothing.
512
00:51:33,839 --> 00:51:35,799
As we talked about,
you'll distract him...
513
00:51:36,009 --> 00:51:38,389
...and I'll use the ninja sleephold...
514
00:51:38,889 --> 00:51:41,129
...to incapacitate him.
Are you ready?
515
00:51:41,349 --> 00:51:42,809
Yeah, let's go.
516
00:51:47,899 --> 00:51:50,599
Welcome to Beverly Hills Bank Note.
517
00:51:50,859 --> 00:51:54,529
I'm Chet Walters. Nice coat.
Who shot the couch?
518
00:51:56,159 --> 00:51:58,359
I'm kidding.
What can I do you for?
519
00:51:58,579 --> 00:52:01,829
Our car broke down.
Mind if I use your phone?
520
00:52:02,079 --> 00:52:04,449
Don't get me started
on car problems.
521
00:52:04,669 --> 00:52:06,369
I got a 1975 Fairmont.
522
00:52:06,629 --> 00:52:11,039
It's about as hard
to turn over as me on Laguna Beach.
523
00:52:14,219 --> 00:52:18,079
I'm just bugging with you.
Auto Club is 555-9300.
524
00:52:18,299 --> 00:52:19,419
Thank you.
525
00:52:21,219 --> 00:52:22,389
Yep, the AAA.
526
00:52:23,429 --> 00:52:27,429
I knew a guy who started off
in AAA, then ended up in AA.
527
00:52:27,649 --> 00:52:29,349
He got busted for DUI.
528
00:52:30,269 --> 00:52:32,229
Hello, is this the Auto Club?
529
00:52:32,779 --> 00:52:33,969
What are you doing?
530
00:52:34,189 --> 00:52:37,559
Are you not familiar with
shiatsu massage?
531
00:52:37,819 --> 00:52:41,689
Shiatsu? Watch your language.
A lady's present.
532
00:52:42,119 --> 00:52:44,159
When I played ball
in Wisconsin...
533
00:52:44,369 --> 00:52:47,409
...these cheerleaders
lathered me up like a whale...
534
00:52:48,959 --> 00:52:50,159
Get off me!
535
00:52:50,379 --> 00:52:53,329
I'm calling the cops.
Give me the phone!
536
00:52:58,629 --> 00:53:03,339
- Not a ninja technique, but effective.
- Put him in the back.
537
00:53:08,059 --> 00:53:09,139
What're you doing?
538
00:53:09,349 --> 00:53:13,349
Preparing a great ninja tool:
The laughing mushroom.
539
00:53:13,569 --> 00:53:17,649
One pinch and he'll
tell the truth about Tanley.
540
00:53:17,859 --> 00:53:19,059
Careful, Alison.
541
00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:22,809
The effects are profound.
Open his mouth.
542
00:53:34,339 --> 00:53:37,419
I'm involved in
counterfeiting some money!
543
00:53:38,089 --> 00:53:39,499
Big deal!
544
00:53:41,839 --> 00:53:43,629
If I get caught...
545
00:53:43,889 --> 00:53:45,929
...I could do 30 years.
546
00:53:50,939 --> 00:53:53,089
Tanley is a killer!
547
00:53:53,309 --> 00:53:55,189
He killed her sister.
548
00:53:56,609 --> 00:53:59,359
When he's done,
he'll probably kill you!
549
00:54:02,819 --> 00:54:06,319
- When are you to meet him?
- Ten minutes.
550
00:54:06,619 --> 00:54:10,829
If you're here when he gets here,
he'll kill us all!
551
00:54:35,019 --> 00:54:38,639
- I don't think we should.
- I'm sorry. I was...
552
00:54:39,069 --> 00:54:41,019
I wasn't trying to...
553
00:54:41,229 --> 00:54:46,189
I was merely trying to get close
to the temple, not inside.
554
00:54:47,529 --> 00:54:50,979
I just wanted to climb the steps...
555
00:54:51,739 --> 00:54:54,369
...and maybe peek at
the sacred object.
556
00:55:05,629 --> 00:55:09,499
Hey, how you doing?
Chet Walters. Mr. Tanley?
557
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:12,339
Nice jacket.
Who shot the couch?
558
00:55:12,559 --> 00:55:15,339
Very funny, Mr. Walters.
Ready to go?
559
00:55:15,559 --> 00:55:17,849
You bet! Your buggy or mine?
560
00:55:18,059 --> 00:55:19,769
Mine, I think.
561
00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:23,189
Gotta get the gear.
562
00:55:23,399 --> 00:55:26,239
Can't start an operation
without the gear.
563
00:55:26,439 --> 00:55:29,199
Here we are,
off to the wild blue yonder.
564
00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,899
You don't mind.
A small precaution.
565
00:55:32,119 --> 00:55:34,519
No, if you feel more comfortable.
566
00:55:34,739 --> 00:55:37,659
How will you drive with that on?
567
00:55:37,869 --> 00:55:39,909
- It's for you.
- Of course it is.
568
00:55:40,119 --> 00:55:44,199
Pin the Tail on the Donkey!
Who's got the piГ±ata?
569
00:55:44,459 --> 00:55:48,509
Hear about the lady who backed
into a fan? Dis-assed-her!
570
00:55:48,759 --> 00:55:50,499
- I don't care.
- You bet.
571
00:55:50,759 --> 00:55:54,509
Gotcha. You betcha.
Alrighty. Here we go!
572
00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:59,679
You pick up guys
and do this all the time?
573
00:56:03,769 --> 00:56:05,649
Who's driving this buggy?
574
00:56:05,859 --> 00:56:08,309
Let me guess. Don't tell me.
575
00:56:08,529 --> 00:56:10,239
Carol Channing.
576
00:56:14,529 --> 00:56:19,279
Mind if I borrow this next week?
I got a blind date. A blind date!
577
00:56:22,499 --> 00:56:25,869
Which way's he going?
Through the Grand Canyon?
578
00:56:27,209 --> 00:56:30,249
Where did he learn to drive?
Cooking school?
579
00:56:35,389 --> 00:56:37,299
Thank God we made it!
580
00:56:38,219 --> 00:56:40,589
Okay, let's take the blindfold off.
581
00:56:41,769 --> 00:56:44,799
That's what she said. She said!
582
00:56:46,559 --> 00:56:49,599
You think I ought to
work before you pay me?
583
00:56:49,819 --> 00:56:53,319
It's the real bill.
Print a proof copy today.
584
00:56:53,529 --> 00:56:55,189
Exactly like this.
585
00:56:55,449 --> 00:56:58,529
No problem.
Hold the phone a second.
586
00:57:00,579 --> 00:57:02,239
Old Faithful!
587
00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:10,949
Sure you don't want it sooner?
588
00:57:11,169 --> 00:57:13,839
They don't call me the best
for nothing.
589
00:57:25,189 --> 00:57:29,049
I'm in a thong Speedo,
hiking boots and a backpack.
590
00:57:29,479 --> 00:57:34,899
You get a ride on 83rd Avenue, dressed
like that in the middle of winter.
591
00:57:36,739 --> 00:57:38,229
What happened?
592
00:57:39,029 --> 00:57:40,859
A bug must've bit me.
593
00:57:42,409 --> 00:57:45,079
My brother's in pest control.
Bring him over...
594
00:57:45,289 --> 00:57:49,199
...he'll nuke every
cockroach and mosquito in this dump.
595
00:57:49,419 --> 00:57:52,119
Could we please get to work?
596
00:57:54,049 --> 00:57:58,959
I see you got the T-200
split-level Barber ink printing press.
597
00:57:59,339 --> 00:58:02,879
I printed leaflets
for the "Shave the Whale" campaign.
598
00:58:03,139 --> 00:58:06,469
- "Save the Whale."
- That's what you did with them?
599
00:58:06,679 --> 00:58:08,139
Nobu, keep an eye on him.
600
00:58:08,389 --> 00:58:11,729
Maybe it was "Starve the Whales"!
601
00:58:18,279 --> 00:58:21,279
Let's see what we got
baking in the oven.
602
00:58:29,079 --> 00:58:31,449
Not yet a match.
603
00:58:34,959 --> 00:58:38,709
It looks like we are
one degree Celsius off...
604
00:58:38,919 --> 00:58:41,209
...on that magenta colour.
605
00:58:41,429 --> 00:58:45,469
I'm gonna have to
quantify the 7-F reading on this...
606
00:58:45,679 --> 00:58:50,219
...and that'd run it through
with the surface-gravity viscosity.
607
00:58:50,929 --> 00:58:53,389
I can plug it into
the Marshall formula...
608
00:58:53,649 --> 00:58:57,309
...and that would give me
an accurate mix design.
609
00:58:57,519 --> 00:58:59,649
They're just a little bit off.
610
00:58:59,859 --> 00:59:02,979
What I could do on that is run
a Pap smear...
611
00:59:03,199 --> 00:59:05,819
...and then tone it down a little.
612
00:59:06,029 --> 00:59:09,449
- Hello, Mr. Tanley.
- What the hell is that?
613
00:59:10,699 --> 00:59:14,489
See what I'm up against?
I'll rethink my inks.
614
00:59:14,709 --> 00:59:16,329
So...
615
00:59:16,539 --> 00:59:20,749
...what I could do is,
I could swing back to my shop...
616
00:59:20,959 --> 00:59:23,289
...and be gone five minutes.
617
00:59:23,549 --> 00:59:26,999
You could blindfold me.
I liked that anyway.
618
00:59:30,509 --> 00:59:32,089
How'd that get in there?
619
00:59:32,309 --> 00:59:33,169
Who are you?
620
00:59:33,389 --> 00:59:35,219
Chet Walters, ink specialist.
621
00:59:39,399 --> 00:59:41,889
I am Haru of the Takagure dojo...
622
00:59:42,149 --> 00:59:44,939
...and if you value your life,
you will...
623
00:59:46,449 --> 00:59:47,729
Let's get him!
624
00:59:50,119 --> 00:59:51,689
Open this door!
625
00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:53,569
Let us out of here!
626
00:59:54,159 --> 00:59:58,029
Haru, you are truly
the Great White Ninja.
627
01:00:02,589 --> 01:00:05,539
Did I say ninja?
I meant ninny.
628
01:00:06,009 --> 01:00:08,579
"Haru, you are such a ninny."
629
01:00:45,419 --> 01:00:47,159
Where's Walters?
630
01:00:47,379 --> 01:00:50,799
Subject me to any torture
you can think of...
631
01:00:51,049 --> 01:00:53,379
...but a ninja does not talk.
632
01:00:53,599 --> 01:00:56,429
Ninja? You're a ninja?
633
01:00:56,889 --> 01:01:00,089
You're the fat ninja
everyone's talking about.
634
01:01:00,349 --> 01:01:02,059
Great White Ninja.
635
01:01:02,769 --> 01:01:05,889
The meeting with the Kobudosai
is arranged.
636
01:01:06,109 --> 01:01:08,809
Good. Tie him
and throw him in the van.
637
01:01:09,029 --> 01:01:10,689
Get rid of him later.
638
01:01:23,749 --> 01:01:26,699
Check your guns.
Kobudosai checked theirs.
639
01:01:50,149 --> 01:01:51,229
My dove!
640
01:01:52,819 --> 01:01:54,099
Are you all right?
641
01:01:54,359 --> 01:01:55,989
I am fine.
642
01:01:56,359 --> 01:01:58,519
Let me get this blindfold off.
643
01:02:01,869 --> 01:02:05,949
It is in the spirit of harmony
we meet here today.
644
01:02:06,209 --> 01:02:10,289
It is important to our community
an agreement be reached.
645
01:02:10,499 --> 01:02:12,829
Stop squirming!
I'm undoing these ropes.
646
01:02:13,089 --> 01:02:16,289
A ninja visualizes
the straightness of the rope.
647
01:02:16,509 --> 01:02:19,079
It will begin to untie itself.
648
01:02:20,009 --> 01:02:22,469
Or a knife is good.
649
01:02:23,429 --> 01:02:27,099
I suggest that you
make your plates our plates.
650
01:02:28,229 --> 01:02:29,469
Honoured elder?
651
01:02:29,689 --> 01:02:33,469
You know I have great respect
for you, Kumagi...
652
01:02:33,689 --> 01:02:36,529
...but I rule in favour of Mr. Tanley.
653
01:02:36,739 --> 01:02:40,819
- You won't get away with this!
- Yes, I will.
654
01:02:44,539 --> 01:02:47,739
These criminals will face
the justice system.
655
01:02:47,959 --> 01:02:48,989
Be careful.
656
01:03:07,559 --> 01:03:10,049
- Where's the ninja?
- I don't know.
657
01:03:10,349 --> 01:03:11,549
Never mind.
658
01:03:12,149 --> 01:03:14,389
That's right.
The Little Tokyo Temple.
659
01:03:15,019 --> 01:03:16,189
Stop the van.
660
01:03:16,399 --> 01:03:17,779
Stop the van!
661
01:03:21,699 --> 01:03:25,029
What a coincidence.
Can I give you a lift?
662
01:03:31,369 --> 01:03:33,279
Help me!
663
01:03:48,719 --> 01:03:50,379
Hands in the air!
664
01:03:50,889 --> 01:03:52,889
It's him! The white ninja!
665
01:03:53,099 --> 01:03:55,589
Do not shoot!
I am on your side.
666
01:03:59,069 --> 01:04:00,399
Let's get him!
667
01:04:03,609 --> 01:04:05,239
Come on over here.
668
01:04:07,779 --> 01:04:09,689
Get out of here!
669
01:04:09,909 --> 01:04:10,739
I got him!
670
01:04:14,459 --> 01:04:15,659
Open the door.
671
01:04:15,879 --> 01:04:17,579
Keep his head down.
672
01:04:55,869 --> 01:04:58,359
Alison, what have I done?
673
01:05:00,959 --> 01:05:03,999
He's an idiot!
I cannot do this anymore.
674
01:05:04,209 --> 01:05:07,079
I had to escape from jail!
I am coming home.
675
01:05:07,299 --> 01:05:09,669
- Do not be rash, Gobei.
- Rash?
676
01:05:09,889 --> 01:05:12,639
He's made every mistake
in the ninja book.
677
01:05:12,849 --> 01:05:16,259
He is coming.
Hide behind those clouds.
678
01:05:17,099 --> 01:05:19,089
I hate this!
679
01:05:23,819 --> 01:05:26,819
- Hello, Haru.
- Hello, sensei.
680
01:05:28,819 --> 01:05:30,309
How are you, my son?
681
01:05:30,569 --> 01:05:35,149
- I have tried, but I have failed.
- That is never true.
682
01:05:35,369 --> 01:05:39,619
I want so desperately to be
a great ninja like Gobei, but...
683
01:05:39,869 --> 01:05:42,709
Stop comparing
yourself to Gobei.
684
01:05:42,959 --> 01:05:46,539
Why, sensei?
He is the best ninja ever.
685
01:05:46,959 --> 01:05:52,249
I hope that he knows that I love him.
All I wanted was his respect.
686
01:05:52,469 --> 01:05:53,549
My son...
687
01:05:53,759 --> 01:05:57,299
...we would all be lucky
to have a heart as big as yours.
688
01:05:57,559 --> 01:05:59,679
In fact, Gobei will not become...
689
01:05:59,889 --> 01:06:03,639
...a great ninja,
until he learns that lesson.
690
01:06:03,849 --> 01:06:07,719
I tried to stop this mission
because I feared for you.
691
01:06:08,069 --> 01:06:09,729
But I was wrong.
692
01:06:09,939 --> 01:06:11,489
You must continue.
693
01:06:11,739 --> 01:06:13,559
- I must?
- Yes.
694
01:06:13,779 --> 01:06:18,409
Go. Save Alison.
It is your duty as a ninja.
695
01:06:20,199 --> 01:06:22,239
You just called me a ninja.
696
01:06:22,459 --> 01:06:24,609
Yes, I guess I did.
697
01:06:26,459 --> 01:06:27,659
Go now.
698
01:06:31,799 --> 01:06:33,079
I can do it.
699
01:07:16,429 --> 01:07:20,089
Patrice, my car.
Joey, come with me.
700
01:07:24,389 --> 01:07:26,629
Who is stealing my shoes?
701
01:07:27,439 --> 01:07:30,469
- There's no time to waste.
- I'm with you.
702
01:07:31,559 --> 01:07:33,939
- Thanks, asshole.
- My pleasure.
703
01:07:39,529 --> 01:07:42,819
- What are we doing?
- Using my ninja memory...
704
01:07:43,029 --> 01:07:46,489
...I will re-create the trip
to Tanley's warehouse.
705
01:07:47,369 --> 01:07:48,399
Drive, Joey.
706
01:07:48,619 --> 01:07:51,369
Phat! I get to drive?
All right. Come on.
707
01:07:51,579 --> 01:07:53,659
We going like Morgan Freeman.
708
01:07:54,339 --> 01:07:55,879
Now turn right.
709
01:07:58,669 --> 01:08:02,539
There was a bump. Good.
There was a right after a bump.
710
01:08:02,759 --> 01:08:04,419
Right after the bump.
711
01:08:06,639 --> 01:08:10,089
Take off the blindfold!
What's wrong with you?
712
01:08:10,309 --> 01:08:14,309
I know just where we are.
We're on the right track.
713
01:08:14,519 --> 01:08:16,759
We're on the track, all right!
714
01:08:25,329 --> 01:08:28,029
I do not remember hearing thunder.
715
01:08:29,999 --> 01:08:32,039
There's gotta be a turn somewhere!
716
01:08:32,249 --> 01:08:34,819
- Turn right, now!
- I'm turning!
717
01:08:37,999 --> 01:08:41,619
This is good. I hear water.
Now turn right.
718
01:08:44,389 --> 01:08:46,879
Now left, towards the water. Yes!
719
01:08:47,679 --> 01:08:49,719
I think we're too close to the water.
720
01:08:49,929 --> 01:08:51,719
I think we should go back.
721
01:08:51,929 --> 01:08:54,009
- You led us astray.
- I didn't!
722
01:08:54,399 --> 01:08:56,429
I cannot swim! Joey!
723
01:08:57,689 --> 01:09:00,529
We're drifting!
Something's touching my face!
724
01:09:01,319 --> 01:09:03,609
Joey, these sea creatures!
725
01:09:03,819 --> 01:09:04,899
Help me!
726
01:09:05,319 --> 01:09:08,359
- Head towards the mainland!
- Mainland?
727
01:09:08,579 --> 01:09:11,329
Yes, the mainland!
The sea is foamy.
728
01:09:11,619 --> 01:09:14,159
You have wandered way off-course!
729
01:09:17,329 --> 01:09:19,959
America's weather
fluctuates violently.
730
01:09:21,089 --> 01:09:23,459
Maybe we should go for cover.
731
01:09:24,009 --> 01:09:26,299
Joey, what is that smell?
732
01:09:27,179 --> 01:09:29,879
- PiГ±a colada.
- I like it.
733
01:09:30,299 --> 01:09:34,299
- Listen to my directions.
- I'm going where you said!
734
01:09:34,559 --> 01:09:36,799
If you cannot, I will have to drive.
735
01:09:37,769 --> 01:09:40,769
- You must listen at all times.
- I'm sorry.
736
01:09:42,979 --> 01:09:44,389
We must try again.
737
01:09:44,609 --> 01:09:48,229
And this time, you must
follow my directions exactly.
738
01:09:48,449 --> 01:09:50,239
Okay, no problem.
739
01:09:50,449 --> 01:09:52,939
- I'm ready.
- My entire family likes to drive...
740
01:09:53,199 --> 01:09:54,739
You may drive now.
741
01:09:57,249 --> 01:09:58,829
You may drive now.
742
01:10:03,169 --> 01:10:04,909
Consider yourself very lucky.
743
01:10:05,129 --> 01:10:08,329
You've lived longer than
anyone who's betrayed me.
744
01:10:08,549 --> 01:10:11,039
I brought you a present.
A little bang.
745
01:10:11,259 --> 01:10:14,049
You'll vaporize
before you feel a thing.
746
01:10:14,259 --> 01:10:16,589
I wish I'd killed you months ago.
747
01:10:16,809 --> 01:10:20,089
The feeling's mutual.
The difference is...
748
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:23,269
...I'm able to rectify my mistake.
749
01:10:27,189 --> 01:10:29,069
Somebody help me!
750
01:10:29,279 --> 01:10:33,439
Do not let up. We are
nowhere near our destination.
751
01:10:34,659 --> 01:10:37,069
Take a left. Joey!
752
01:10:37,289 --> 01:10:39,409
Why are we stopping here?
753
01:10:43,829 --> 01:10:47,249
So we have entered
the serpent's lair.
754
01:10:52,089 --> 01:10:54,049
You are a fragile boy.
755
01:11:53,859 --> 01:11:56,349
Thank God I have a short sword.
756
01:12:06,619 --> 01:12:07,739
Yeah!
757
01:12:28,139 --> 01:12:29,969
Yeah, you go, ninja boy!
758
01:12:37,109 --> 01:12:41,569
Yeah! Mr. Dojo Rising!
Go for it!
759
01:13:14,689 --> 01:13:16,099
I made it.
760
01:13:16,319 --> 01:13:18,849
If it isn't
the Great White Ninja.
761
01:13:19,069 --> 01:13:21,989
Welcome. Congratulations on
coming this far...
762
01:13:22,199 --> 01:13:25,279
...but this is where
your legend ends.
763
01:13:27,449 --> 01:13:31,779
Only when I have ceased to breathe
will I be dead.
764
01:13:32,919 --> 01:13:34,239
Get rid of him.
765
01:14:04,149 --> 01:14:06,989
- Why are you here?
- I come to help you.
766
01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:11,739
This is my dream.
Let us kick some yakuza ass!
767
01:14:39,559 --> 01:14:43,179
That's right. I can climb.
I can climb!
768
01:14:49,159 --> 01:14:50,569
So sorry, Gobei.
769
01:14:53,699 --> 01:14:55,739
You should go save Alison.
770
01:14:57,539 --> 01:15:00,789
- Can you manage without me?
- I will try.
771
01:15:13,259 --> 01:15:15,339
Somebody help me!
772
01:15:16,929 --> 01:15:18,889
Alison, is that you?
773
01:15:19,099 --> 01:15:20,979
Yes! Help me!
774
01:15:21,189 --> 01:15:22,219
All right!
775
01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:23,759
Hurry!
776
01:15:23,979 --> 01:15:25,519
Please hurry!
777
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:30,979
Stop!
778
01:15:37,489 --> 01:15:39,739
Can you come closer?
I'll untie you.
779
01:15:39,959 --> 01:15:43,069
There's no time.
There's a bomb in here.
780
01:15:43,629 --> 01:15:46,539
Have no fear.
I will defuse the bomb.
781
01:15:53,469 --> 01:15:54,839
I can see now.
782
01:15:55,799 --> 01:15:57,049
It is simple.
783
01:15:57,259 --> 01:16:01,759
- Do you know what you're doing?
- There, I have done it!
784
01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:04,719
Your call cannot be completed
as dialled.
785
01:16:04,939 --> 01:16:07,609
Please check the number
and dial again.
786
01:16:15,609 --> 01:16:17,409
Oh, great.
787
01:16:17,619 --> 01:16:20,449
- We've lost five minutes.
- Oops.
788
01:16:24,869 --> 01:16:25,989
Brother!
789
01:16:29,539 --> 01:16:31,169
My dove, hang on!
790
01:16:35,679 --> 01:16:37,469
How much time is left?
791
01:16:38,679 --> 01:16:39,839
Four minutes.
792
01:16:42,559 --> 01:16:44,299
Do not worry.
793
01:16:44,519 --> 01:16:46,059
I will return.
794
01:16:59,869 --> 01:17:03,319
I may not be the best ninja
or one with the universe.
795
01:17:03,539 --> 01:17:04,699
But I'll tell you this:
796
01:17:05,499 --> 01:17:08,369
No one messes with my brother!
797
01:17:28,849 --> 01:17:30,009
Go! Yeah!
798
01:17:33,519 --> 01:17:34,799
Look out!
799
01:17:39,949 --> 01:17:40,809
So sorry.
800
01:17:45,239 --> 01:17:47,149
Here I come!
801
01:17:50,539 --> 01:17:52,369
Are you all right, my brother?
802
01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:53,909
Yes, Haru.
803
01:18:14,059 --> 01:18:16,099
Nicely done, Joey.
804
01:18:49,179 --> 01:18:50,969
Hurry!
805
01:19:04,069 --> 01:19:05,809
Martin Tanley.
806
01:19:14,329 --> 01:19:15,609
I'm over here.
807
01:19:18,329 --> 01:19:20,289
Now you're out of bullets.
808
01:19:21,879 --> 01:19:23,419
Look out!
809
01:20:04,959 --> 01:20:06,369
Come on!
810
01:20:12,259 --> 01:20:13,209
Do not worry.
811
01:20:13,429 --> 01:20:15,879
Forty seconds.
812
01:20:26,189 --> 01:20:27,569
Get out of there!
813
01:20:30,239 --> 01:20:34,189
- Thirty seconds!
- Hang in there, my dove.
814
01:20:34,409 --> 01:20:37,189
In a moment, you'll be
as free as a bird.
815
01:21:25,749 --> 01:21:26,909
Are we dead?
816
01:21:28,709 --> 01:21:29,869
You did it.
817
01:21:30,289 --> 01:21:32,539
- I did?
- Yes.
818
01:21:32,799 --> 01:21:34,999
Thank you, Haru.
Thank you.
819
01:21:35,219 --> 01:21:37,459
I cannot say this has been
an easy mission.
820
01:21:39,349 --> 01:21:42,599
You are the greatest ninja
of all time.
821
01:21:42,809 --> 01:21:46,009
Believe it or not, I doubted myself.
822
01:21:49,479 --> 01:21:51,719
What a fool I was.
823
01:21:57,399 --> 01:21:59,529
Thanks, big brother.
It's all right.
824
01:21:59,739 --> 01:22:02,579
- You did good.
- Thank you, big brother.
825
01:22:02,779 --> 01:22:06,489
Sorry about your head.
I was going for Tanley.
826
01:22:06,709 --> 01:22:11,409
A group of ninjas foiled an
attempted counterfeiting operation.
827
01:22:11,629 --> 01:22:14,159
I am live with
one of those ninjas.
828
01:22:14,379 --> 01:22:18,379
This may be odd, but I
thought ninjas were Japanese...
829
01:22:18,589 --> 01:22:20,799
...and you seem to be black.
830
01:22:21,009 --> 01:22:25,139
Don't be fooled by my skin colour.
You're a TV reporter.
831
01:22:25,349 --> 01:22:28,219
You've heard of
the Great Black Ninja?
832
01:22:28,429 --> 01:22:32,509
- No. Is that you?
- Some say it is so.
833
01:22:38,529 --> 01:22:41,689
You have done well, Haru.
I am proud.
834
01:22:41,949 --> 01:22:47,019
Great White Ninja or not,
you made me believe in myself.
835
01:22:47,239 --> 01:22:52,669
Though it will sadden me to see you
leave, I am happy for you.
836
01:22:52,999 --> 01:22:57,459
I know I will be of better
use where there's no great ninjas.
837
01:22:57,669 --> 01:23:02,709
I'll go with my dove to the land
of opportunity, Beverly Hills.
838
01:23:08,059 --> 01:23:13,129
Whether you're the chosen one or not,
I'd fight alongside you.
839
01:23:14,689 --> 01:23:15,849
Here.
840
01:23:18,729 --> 01:23:20,309
Good luck, my brother.
841
01:23:23,199 --> 01:23:25,189
My arm!
It's okay.
842
01:23:29,409 --> 01:23:31,199
Alison and I must leave.
843
01:23:32,079 --> 01:23:33,819
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye!
844
01:23:38,749 --> 01:23:41,999
It's amazing.
I think he's really changed.
845
01:23:52,269 --> 01:23:53,379
Stop!
846
01:23:56,559 --> 01:23:59,349
Stop! Are you listening...?
Give me my medallion back!
847
01:24:04,439 --> 01:24:05,939
Hi, Gobei.
848
01:24:19,079 --> 01:24:21,789
I am sorry, big brother!
61777
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