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Every night, I have the same dream.
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It's the night I got arrested.
3
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The night of the final episode
4
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,684
of "American Idol," season one.
5
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♪ Go Justin, go Justin ♪
6
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♪ My main man, my main man ♪
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Oh, yeah
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Oh!
9
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Look at my man, cooking food.
10
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- Get it, boy.
- You know that.
11
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Yes!
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I love cooking for my boo.
13
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And I love you for that shit.
14
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Thank you, baby.
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00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:50,427
I just want your booty to get
as big as humanly possible.
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Boy, you crazy. You dumb as hell.
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No, I'm serious.
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00:00:54,132 --> 00:00:56,533
I want it to look like one
of them cartoon centaurs.
19
00:00:56,568 --> 00:00:57,901
You know, half man, half horse.
20
00:00:58,133 --> 00:01:00,200
So you want some of that magical booty.
21
00:01:00,530 --> 00:01:02,395
Some of that mythological ass.
22
00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:04,894
You been reading Greek mythology, boy?
23
00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:07,630
Yes, yes, yes. You got me.
24
00:01:07,666 --> 00:01:10,291
Ooh, the show about to
start. Shut up, shut up.
25
00:01:10,669 --> 00:01:13,695
I'm calling it right now, Justin gonna win.
26
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Boy, please. Kelly is way more talented.
27
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Unh-unh, that boy got pure talent.
28
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Look at him. Look at him.
29
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His voice is butter.
30
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You're so silly.
31
00:01:28,084 --> 00:01:29,550
I love you, Shay.
32
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Mm. I love you, too.
33
00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:37,011
Tray. Hmm?
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- We need to talk.
- About what?
35
00:01:39,329 --> 00:01:40,855
I got...
36
00:01:41,097 --> 00:01:42,951
Let me get up.
37
00:01:43,214 --> 00:01:44,133
What?
38
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Tray, don't!
39
00:01:48,438 --> 00:01:50,671
Shay, just Tivo that for
me. I'll be right back.
40
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Tray, you promised me.
41
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I'm gonna go get a blunt and a candy bar.
42
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I'll be right back.
43
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Are you serious, Tray?
44
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Wait for me!
45
00:02:03,653 --> 00:02:04,719
You got me?
46
00:02:04,754 --> 00:02:06,316
Come on, you know I got you, son.
47
00:02:07,144 --> 00:02:09,340
Bobby, who was badder, Michael or Vito?
48
00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,716
- In "Godfather," man.
- Vito.
49
00:02:12,162 --> 00:02:14,595
Wrong. I'm gonna give you
another shot on the way back.
50
00:02:14,631 --> 00:02:15,737
Think about it.
51
00:02:16,232 --> 00:02:17,965
Yo, why you embarrassing me right now?
52
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You embarrassing me.
53
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,890
Yo, I told you to watch it three times.
54
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- Papa!
- Yeah, my friend?
55
00:02:32,215 --> 00:02:34,145
- Give me the usual.
- Mm.
56
00:02:35,185 --> 00:02:36,884
Guarini's gonna win tonight.
57
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,286
No, no, no, you're wrong.
58
00:02:38,321 --> 00:02:40,788
Watch, his curls is looking kind of tight.
59
00:02:40,824 --> 00:02:42,083
Too tight, huh?
60
00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:44,225
Yeah, well, just make sure
you where you're supposed
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00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:46,452
to be at is all I'm saying. All right.
62
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,333
What's up, Wavy?
63
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Dinner's ready.
64
00:02:53,636 --> 00:02:55,127
Five girls, five boys.
65
00:02:56,334 --> 00:02:58,238
Give me 20 minutes. Watch this, baby.
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00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:00,975
Don't get cocky, nigga.
67
00:03:05,748 --> 00:03:07,816
Yo, Tivo that for me, Shay!
68
00:03:11,765 --> 00:03:14,056
Yo, Tray! Michael!
69
00:03:14,424 --> 00:03:15,604
Michael's badder.
70
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:16,891
Why?
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00:03:16,926 --> 00:03:19,651
Uh, 'cause he's not Vito.
72
00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:21,596
Keep trying!
73
00:03:25,641 --> 00:03:27,947
Uh, the kid is bugged out.
74
00:03:28,138 --> 00:03:29,537
Hey, what's up?
75
00:03:29,572 --> 00:03:30,571
Boy, girl?
76
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:33,274
Aww, shit!
77
00:03:33,309 --> 00:03:34,809
- Your hands in the air!
- Aw!
78
00:03:34,844 --> 00:03:35,810
Hands up, man! Come on!
79
00:03:35,845 --> 00:03:37,278
NYPD! Put 'em up!
80
00:03:37,313 --> 00:03:39,814
- Hands up!
- Keep 'em up! Keep 'em up!
81
00:03:39,849 --> 00:03:41,272
Keep them up!
82
00:03:42,252 --> 00:03:44,206
You have the right to remain silent.
83
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,284
Ca caw!
84
00:04:01,104 --> 00:04:02,837
Do you understand
your rights at this time?
85
00:04:02,872 --> 00:04:04,697
I didn't do nothing!
86
00:04:11,281 --> 00:04:13,648
Sha-a-a-a-a-y!
87
00:04:13,877 --> 00:04:16,440
_
88
00:04:20,087 --> 00:04:21,901
That was 15 years ago.
89
00:04:22,806 --> 00:04:24,644
I haven't seen my girl since.
90
00:04:25,121 --> 00:04:27,031
Prison will change a man.
91
00:04:27,503 --> 00:04:28,829
I'm wiser now.
92
00:04:28,865 --> 00:04:30,516
But still, I remain humble.
93
00:04:31,449 --> 00:04:34,384
I also might be the best
chef the world has ever known.
94
00:04:34,419 --> 00:04:36,853
You gonna give up that
recipe before you go?
95
00:04:37,187 --> 00:04:39,989
If you give a man a fish, he eats dinner.
96
00:04:40,025 --> 00:04:41,324
But if you teach a man to fish...
97
00:04:41,359 --> 00:04:42,959
Yo, yo, there's fish in it?
98
00:04:42,994 --> 00:04:44,794
I'm doing a proverb [BLEEP]
99
00:04:50,235 --> 00:04:51,601
Prison pad Thai.
100
00:04:51,636 --> 00:04:53,303
Don't go overboard on the peanut butter.
101
00:04:53,338 --> 00:04:54,739
Two packets are too much.
102
00:05:00,312 --> 00:05:02,278
Now it's time for me to go out to the world
103
00:05:02,314 --> 00:05:04,824
and make it a better
place with my sage advice.
104
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,649
Barker, you ready?
105
00:05:06,685 --> 00:05:09,018
Ready as your mother was
after I sucked her titties
106
00:05:09,054 --> 00:05:10,553
last night, Wilson.
107
00:05:14,526 --> 00:05:16,492
Don't let us see you back here, Tray.
108
00:05:16,528 --> 00:05:18,328
Man, I just want to
take a shower by myself.
109
00:05:18,363 --> 00:05:20,630
I never want to see
another penis in my life,
110
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:21,798
not even my own.
111
00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:24,734
Tray! We gonna miss that food, Tray!
112
00:05:24,769 --> 00:05:27,737
Y'all don't deserve my food,
you honey bunny eating [BLEEP]
113
00:05:27,772 --> 00:05:29,973
Hey, T-Money
leaving the building, y'all!
114
00:05:30,008 --> 00:05:31,307
Hey, give it up!
115
00:05:36,715 --> 00:05:39,549
Second chances are a beautiful thing.
116
00:05:39,584 --> 00:05:41,718
When I went away, my
neighborhood was hanging on
117
00:05:41,753 --> 00:05:43,987
by a thread thanks to dealers like me.
118
00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:47,156
This time, I'm gonna be a
force for positive change.
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00:05:47,192 --> 00:05:49,617
This time, I'ma do it right.
120
00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:53,701
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
121
00:06:16,939 --> 00:06:19,139
- Watch it!
- I'm sorry, my bad.
122
00:06:19,174 --> 00:06:20,774
It's not Michelin-starred,
it's Michelin-rated.
123
00:06:20,809 --> 00:06:22,309
It's a huge difference.
124
00:06:22,344 --> 00:06:24,781
Honey, have some seaweed. Open up.
125
00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:26,658
Seaweed is alkalizing.
126
00:06:26,698 --> 00:06:28,129
Yes, it's good for digestion.
127
00:06:28,217 --> 00:06:30,090
[BLEEP] happened to Brooklyn?!
128
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:31,476
Brooklyn!
129
00:06:35,882 --> 00:06:36,847
Damn.
130
00:06:36,872 --> 00:06:38,358
Papi's is gone, too.
131
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,542
Y'all little nigga slingin', huh?
132
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,877
Chasing that paper?
133
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,965
Huh? Get that money, huh?
134
00:06:53,396 --> 00:06:55,812
Then what, huh?
135
00:06:56,104 --> 00:06:57,337
You see me?
136
00:06:57,371 --> 00:06:59,598
I used to be just like
y'all little niggas, man.
137
00:06:59,598 --> 00:07:01,131
Just like y'all.
138
00:07:01,165 --> 00:07:03,365
Boom, plot twist.
139
00:07:03,401 --> 00:07:05,467
I got locked up for 15 years.
140
00:07:05,503 --> 00:07:06,969
15 years!
141
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:10,350
Y'all little niggas need to
check your own potential, man.
142
00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:12,888
- Y'all little niggas need...
- Actually, sorry to interrupt.
143
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,448
We're just waiting for our friend.
144
00:07:14,473 --> 00:07:17,328
Aah! Let's go to brunch, bitches!
145
00:07:17,427 --> 00:07:19,091
Aah! Come on, bitch!
146
00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:22,998
Oh, my God, that guy was
just acting so weird just now.
147
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,230
Wow.
148
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:31,303
Shay done pulled a George Jefferson
149
00:07:31,339 --> 00:07:32,497
and moved on up.
150
00:07:40,548 --> 00:07:43,182
Damn, there she is. Looking beautiful.
151
00:07:45,119 --> 00:07:46,979
- Josh?
- Coffee?
152
00:07:48,096 --> 00:07:49,628
Oh, she got a roommate.
153
00:07:49,665 --> 00:07:51,131
- There you go.
- Thank you.
154
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,466
Mwah.
155
00:07:58,140 --> 00:08:00,479
A white dude?!
156
00:08:00,504 --> 00:08:01,689
Aah!
157
00:08:11,159 --> 00:08:12,325
Dicklicker?
158
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,073
Tray Barker. I'm new. I'm
coming in from Southfield.
159
00:08:15,397 --> 00:08:17,196
Come on in, Dicklicker.
160
00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:22,389
So check this out. So I
catch up to him, right?
161
00:08:22,389 --> 00:08:24,489
And then I grab him by the back of his head
162
00:08:24,525 --> 00:08:26,458
and tear out three of
them grey-ass dreadlocks.
163
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:28,093
And I say, "Hey, brother."
164
00:08:28,128 --> 00:08:30,062
Look like you outta locks."
165
00:08:32,399 --> 00:08:33,832
You get it? Out of locks.
166
00:08:33,867 --> 00:08:35,667
And that's right off the head.
167
00:08:35,703 --> 00:08:36,968
That's... that's the improv class.
168
00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:38,336
Yo, money grip. This the halfway house
169
00:08:38,372 --> 00:08:40,405
or open mic for fat, black dudes?
170
00:08:40,441 --> 00:08:41,635
Who in here is Mullins?
171
00:08:42,409 --> 00:08:43,875
I'm Mullins, Dicklicker.
172
00:08:43,996 --> 00:08:45,628
I just did 15 years in prison,
173
00:08:45,653 --> 00:08:47,019
and I ain't licked a dick once.
174
00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,654
And I ain't gonna start with you, Al Roker.
175
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:55,085
Orientation in my office now.
176
00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:58,289
See this place?
177
00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:00,191
This is my castle.
178
00:09:00,226 --> 00:09:01,793
A'ight? I'm the king.
179
00:09:01,828 --> 00:09:03,928
Yeah, well, your castle smell
like a group of Jamaicans
180
00:09:03,964 --> 00:09:05,430
in an elevator, slap-boxing.
181
00:09:05,465 --> 00:09:07,565
I like... I like that. I like wittiness.
182
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:09,467
I like the fact that you think you funny,
183
00:09:09,502 --> 00:09:12,117
but you ain't funny as me,
so don't you worry about that.
184
00:09:12,142 --> 00:09:13,753
What you have to understand
185
00:09:13,778 --> 00:09:16,488
is that this well-oiled facility,
186
00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:18,042
I oversee all this.
187
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:22,663
Don't worry about that.
188
00:09:22,843 --> 00:09:23,890
I'll get that later.
189
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:27,208
All you need to know are the rules.
190
00:09:27,374 --> 00:09:28,555
Rule number one
191
00:09:28,899 --> 00:09:31,808
is all common areas need to stay clean.
192
00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:33,781
Two, make up your bed.
193
00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:36,450
Three, never find yourself in trouble.
194
00:09:36,485 --> 00:09:39,125
Four, no playing with your plantain.
195
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:41,755
Five, no fornicating after 4:00.
196
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:45,860
And Six, always make your
curfew, otherwise, you out.
197
00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:48,896
I just found out the woman that
I love is with a white dude.
198
00:09:48,931 --> 00:09:50,931
Look like a Duke lacrosse player.
199
00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,099
What, you surprised?
200
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:54,001
You thought she was
just gonna wait for you?
201
00:09:55,342 --> 00:09:56,904
Shit, man.
202
00:09:56,939 --> 00:09:59,874
I'm gonna say this to you, and this is not
203
00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:02,777
a sexist comment at all, but all women
204
00:10:03,021 --> 00:10:04,454
are petty as [BLEEP]
205
00:10:04,489 --> 00:10:05,922
Hell no, not Shay!
206
00:10:06,175 --> 00:10:07,899
Okay? She's my queen.
207
00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:10,109
She just got lost.
208
00:10:10,145 --> 00:10:13,512
Yeah, she got lost on another
man's bouncy house.
209
00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:15,908
Why everything with
you gotta be about dick?
210
00:10:15,943 --> 00:10:18,711
What?! The phallus is the number one piece
211
00:10:18,746 --> 00:10:20,947
of universal comedy gold.
212
00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:22,893
Everybody love a good dick joke.
213
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,783
You know it's like Tom, Dick, and Harry.
214
00:10:24,819 --> 00:10:25,985
You heard about that, right?
215
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:27,286
Nobody gives a shit about Harry.
216
00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:28,387
Everybody want to know who Dick is.
217
00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:30,589
I'm not here to laugh, okay?
218
00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:31,807
I'm here to inspire.
219
00:10:32,526 --> 00:10:34,193
I'm hear to teach young, at-risk kids
220
00:10:34,228 --> 00:10:36,729
on the verge of
making the same mistake...
221
00:10:36,764 --> 00:10:38,130
as you did. Ah, come on, man.
222
00:10:38,165 --> 00:10:39,965
You don't think I
haven't heard this before?
223
00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:42,075
You just another dusty-ass street prophet.
224
00:10:42,703 --> 00:10:45,638
Every fool-ass convict
come through that door
225
00:10:45,673 --> 00:10:47,940
think that they Laurence Fishburne
226
00:10:47,975 --> 00:10:49,275
in "Boyz N the Hood."
227
00:10:49,385 --> 00:10:51,443
Then they find out the 'hood gone.
228
00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:53,412
Man, the neighborhood's been gentrified.
229
00:10:53,447 --> 00:10:55,376
What you need to be concerned with
230
00:10:55,516 --> 00:10:58,183
is getting caught in some recidivism.
231
00:10:58,219 --> 00:10:59,184
Some what?
232
00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:00,741
Re-cid-ivism.
233
00:11:00,741 --> 00:11:02,121
Recidivism.
234
00:11:03,013 --> 00:11:04,360
That's what I said.
235
00:11:05,826 --> 00:11:07,889
Fine. Come on, let's take a walk, man.
236
00:11:08,562 --> 00:11:11,163
Ah, don't you put your
hand in [BLEEP] candy corn.
237
00:11:11,198 --> 00:11:12,498
Don't touch my shit.
238
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:14,934
At the same time, we need
to, spiritually speaking...
239
00:11:14,969 --> 00:11:16,502
- Okay.
- ...focus on how we contribute
240
00:11:16,537 --> 00:11:17,770
- two cents...
- Here they go.
241
00:11:17,805 --> 00:11:19,305
Here they go right here. This is exactly
242
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:20,606
what I'm talking about, Barker.
243
00:11:20,641 --> 00:11:22,374
Too many mentors. Not enough mentees.
244
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:23,976
Jaybird, Felony, meet Tray.
245
00:11:24,011 --> 00:11:24,977
- 'Sup?
- 'Sup?
246
00:11:25,012 --> 00:11:26,679
'Sup? I look forward to guiding y'all
247
00:11:26,714 --> 00:11:28,113
on your personal journeys.
248
00:11:28,149 --> 00:11:29,815
You can guide me, but
you can walk with me...
249
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:31,517
But what is a journey but a
beginning, middle, and end...
250
00:11:31,552 --> 00:11:32,885
Shut the [BLEEP] up. Come on.
251
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,221
This is the barracks.
You're bunk number five.
252
00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:39,391
Name's Erwin, but everybody
call me Big Country.
253
00:11:39,427 --> 00:11:40,592
Big Country?
254
00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:41,961
Well, we gonna have to swap bunks, man.
255
00:11:41,996 --> 00:11:43,429
I'm not trying to die tonight.
256
00:11:43,464 --> 00:11:45,230
You're funny, man.
257
00:11:45,266 --> 00:11:47,900
Funny? What the hell? You
want to hear some funny?
258
00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:49,735
All right, I got a good
one for you right here.
259
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:52,821
What's the difference between
a hard-on and a Bugatti?
260
00:11:54,175 --> 00:11:55,808
I don't have a Bugatti.
261
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:01,947
You mean to tell me you
got an erection right now?
262
00:12:01,983 --> 00:12:03,582
No. You know what?
263
00:12:03,617 --> 00:12:05,851
You got one week to find a
job, otherwise, you outta here.
264
00:12:05,886 --> 00:12:07,252
I ain't got no damn erection.
265
00:12:07,288 --> 00:12:08,854
Ask me about no erection.
266
00:12:08,889 --> 00:12:11,357
If that thing lasts more than
four hours, call a doctor.
267
00:12:11,392 --> 00:12:13,748
What up, Big Country?
268
00:12:13,773 --> 00:12:15,095
What's up, Tray?
269
00:12:24,171 --> 00:12:25,235
I love you.
270
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,629
I love you, baby.
271
00:12:28,376 --> 00:12:30,024
Can I make love to her?
272
00:12:30,211 --> 00:12:31,443
No, man!
273
00:12:31,683 --> 00:12:33,115
Get out my face, man.
274
00:12:33,151 --> 00:12:35,603
Get your nuts out my face, please.
275
00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:37,187
Gustavo.
276
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,190
Yeah, thank you, Gustavo. Please leave.
277
00:12:42,215 --> 00:12:43,224
Now!
278
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:44,982
Okay, okay.
279
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:55,464
Damn, Clyde.
280
00:12:56,696 --> 00:12:58,396
When I heard you got murdered, man,
281
00:12:58,431 --> 00:13:00,601
I cried for days in my cell, man.
282
00:13:02,943 --> 00:13:04,221
I should have been there.
283
00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:06,971
Now it seem like the whole
world done moved on, man.
284
00:13:07,526 --> 00:13:09,740
I feel like Rip Van Winkle in this [BLEEP]
285
00:13:09,776 --> 00:13:11,578
and I don't even know who he is!
286
00:13:12,489 --> 00:13:14,597
But I know if you was here,
287
00:13:15,851 --> 00:13:17,584
you'd probably say some shit like...
288
00:13:17,619 --> 00:13:18,846
Yo, Tray!
289
00:13:19,721 --> 00:13:20,854
Clyde?!
290
00:13:20,889 --> 00:13:22,261
Yo, behind you!
291
00:13:24,359 --> 00:13:25,458
Clyde?!
292
00:13:25,494 --> 00:13:27,273
Nah, man, it's me, Bobby.
293
00:13:27,662 --> 00:13:28,826
Clyde's little brother.
294
00:13:28,826 --> 00:13:30,276
Oh, that's what's up.
295
00:13:33,828 --> 00:13:34,953
Tray?
296
00:13:36,863 --> 00:13:38,033
Fredo!
297
00:13:39,728 --> 00:13:40,822
What's that?
298
00:13:40,847 --> 00:13:42,313
Michael killed Fredo, his own brother.
299
00:13:42,725 --> 00:13:44,791
That's what made him badder,
you know what I'm saying?
300
00:13:44,827 --> 00:13:47,569
You remember asking me who
was badder in "Godfather,"
301
00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:48,707
Michael or Vito.
302
00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:50,867
- I remember.
- Yeah.
303
00:13:51,807 --> 00:13:53,274
That's when he became a villain.
304
00:13:54,177 --> 00:13:56,743
You never sacrifice
your family for the life.
305
00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:58,756
Yeah, that's real right there, son.
306
00:14:00,335 --> 00:14:02,750
The last time I saw you, you were...
307
00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:04,155
Like 14, 15.
308
00:14:04,254 --> 00:14:05,920
Yeah, now look at you, man.
309
00:14:05,955 --> 00:14:08,489
Looking like a broke-ass
Tupac... One-pac.
310
00:14:08,525 --> 00:14:10,057
Oh, oh, okay.
311
00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:12,527
All right, well, um, you the
one out here looking elderly.
312
00:14:12,562 --> 00:14:13,961
- No.
- Looking like
313
00:14:13,997 --> 00:14:15,830
you passing out from calcium deficiency.
314
00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:17,665
You looking like Sgt. Slaughter's
315
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:18,866
illegitimate son.
316
00:14:18,902 --> 00:14:21,328
You look like, uh, Chicken George
317
00:14:21,604 --> 00:14:23,638
at the end of "Roots."
318
00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:25,406
You got one arm longer than the other,
319
00:14:25,441 --> 00:14:26,741
and you clap like this.
320
00:14:26,776 --> 00:14:29,143
Oh, okay. So, is that you?
321
00:14:29,179 --> 00:14:31,371
- 'Cause you smell so bad...
- Shut up, man!
322
00:14:31,428 --> 00:14:32,808
I got a gland problem.
323
00:14:34,384 --> 00:14:35,550
My... My bad.
324
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,752
I thought you outgrow that type of stuff.
325
00:14:37,787 --> 00:14:39,620
I ain't... I ain't...
326
00:14:39,656 --> 00:14:40,741
What you been doing?
327
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:42,789
Well, you know, I'm
doing the same old same.
328
00:14:42,823 --> 00:14:45,205
You know, business been
slow, weed game is kind of...
329
00:14:45,434 --> 00:14:47,051
- It's been tight, man.
- Still slingin'?
330
00:14:47,903 --> 00:14:49,269
You gonna end up in prison, Bobby.
331
00:14:49,304 --> 00:14:51,204
Look, ain't nobody scared of jail.
332
00:14:51,239 --> 00:14:53,273
Look, I know mad people in there.
333
00:14:53,308 --> 00:14:55,208
Plus, all they do is rap and work out.
334
00:14:55,373 --> 00:14:59,014
In prison, as pretty as you
are, you would be a perfect 10.
335
00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:01,481
Thank you, man.
336
00:15:01,516 --> 00:15:03,832
That's... that's not good, Bobby.
337
00:15:04,086 --> 00:15:07,454
They will turn your butthole
into a parking garage.
338
00:15:07,606 --> 00:15:10,056
Start putting all kind
of cars in there, man.
339
00:15:10,092 --> 00:15:13,409
Buicks, Cutlass Sierras, Oldsmobiles.
340
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:15,628
Somebody gonna put a Hummer in there.
341
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,397
You don't want nobody
parking no Hummer in there.
342
00:15:17,432 --> 00:15:19,299
- I don't want no Hummer.
- No, man.
343
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:21,468
You don't want your rectum turned into
344
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:22,635
a parking garage, man.
345
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:23,931
That's not what you want.
346
00:15:24,797 --> 00:15:27,184
You don't want nobody parking
no Hummer in there, man.
347
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:29,517
This is my neighborhood, man.
348
00:15:29,911 --> 00:15:31,097
Things done changed.
349
00:15:31,749 --> 00:15:33,541
Just like "Planet of the Apes," man.
350
00:15:34,579 --> 00:15:35,722
Weird.
351
00:15:36,181 --> 00:15:39,551
Like when Zira was talking
to Dr. Zaius, and she said,
352
00:15:39,641 --> 00:15:41,853
"What do you think they'll
find out there, Doctor?"
353
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:44,020
And he said, "Their destiny."
354
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:47,891
The worst part is with Shay, man.
355
00:15:47,926 --> 00:15:49,696
She done moved on and got a new man.
356
00:15:49,721 --> 00:15:51,228
Hey, what is you talking about?
357
00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:53,935
What happened to the dude
that I knew, that I idolized?
358
00:15:54,266 --> 00:15:56,232
You Big Tray Diesel, man.
359
00:15:56,232 --> 00:15:57,824
Go get your girl, Tray.
360
00:15:59,234 --> 00:16:00,833
I wouldn't even know where to begin.
361
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:02,136
Look, we do it like everybody else.
362
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:03,837
We start from the beginning.
363
00:16:03,873 --> 00:16:04,838
With God.
364
00:16:04,874 --> 00:16:05,778
No.
365
00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:07,818
The Internet.
366
00:16:30,071 --> 00:16:31,432
Shay Shay.
367
00:16:32,134 --> 00:16:34,855
Welcome, everyone, and thank
you so much for being here.
368
00:16:35,602 --> 00:16:37,360
I'm gonna bring it down for a sec.
369
00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:40,302
The U.S. has over
370
00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:42,748
600,000 homeless.
371
00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:44,684
These are our friends.
372
00:16:45,082 --> 00:16:46,752
Our family members.
373
00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:47,787
Our...
374
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,125
Ex-convicts.
375
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,993
Doing time in the house!
376
00:16:54,028 --> 00:16:55,404
They are us.
377
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:57,396
That is why I am so very proud
378
00:16:57,432 --> 00:16:59,932
to be a part of the Rest Easy Initiative.
379
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:01,579
You tell 'em, Shay!
380
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:05,121
We've already raised enough money to buy
381
00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:07,089
over 2,000 brand-new beds.
382
00:17:07,124 --> 00:17:08,390
Yes, yes, y'all!
383
00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:10,683
But there is so much more that we can do.
384
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:11,694
I heard that.
385
00:17:11,729 --> 00:17:14,934
We will eradicate homelessness.
386
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:15,974
Damn right.
387
00:17:15,974 --> 00:17:17,807
One bed at a time.
388
00:17:17,842 --> 00:17:19,209
Thank you.
389
00:17:19,244 --> 00:17:20,743
You're welcome.
390
00:17:20,779 --> 00:17:22,259
Thank you so much.
391
00:17:27,085 --> 00:17:28,942
That was quite the speech, Shannon.
392
00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:30,354
So articulate.
393
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:32,551
You should think about politics.
394
00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:33,819
- Excuse me.
- You have a gift.
395
00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:35,587
I'll let you guys finish
in just two seconds.
396
00:17:35,623 --> 00:17:37,656
Shay, I just want to say it's me, Tray.
397
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,458
I'm back. And I just want to say,
398
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:40,974
you know, even though
you didn't come visit me,
399
00:17:41,073 --> 00:17:42,857
15 years I was incarcerated,
400
00:17:43,508 --> 00:17:44,693
all is forgiven.
401
00:17:45,403 --> 00:17:46,610
Come here and give me some love.
402
00:17:50,371 --> 00:17:53,569
Tray, you are quite the funny man.
403
00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:55,892
You know, he's one of our former homeless.
404
00:17:56,252 --> 00:17:58,394
Can you excuse us for just a second?
405
00:17:58,429 --> 00:17:59,643
Indeed.
406
00:17:59,797 --> 00:18:01,430
- Come on, Shay, come on.
- Shh!
407
00:18:01,466 --> 00:18:04,055
This is velour, man. This is velour!
408
00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:07,003
You all pink champagne'd up now, huh?
409
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,225
Nigga,
410
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:11,351
you got some nerve thinking
you can crash my event.
411
00:18:11,709 --> 00:18:12,882
How dare you!
412
00:18:12,999 --> 00:18:14,605
Damn, hello to you, too.
413
00:18:15,413 --> 00:18:18,349
- Shannon?
- I tried to stop him, Shannon.
414
00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:20,783
Everything good? You okay?
415
00:18:20,987 --> 00:18:23,121
She all right, home boy. I'm
gonna send her to you soon.
416
00:18:23,156 --> 00:18:25,123
I'm sorry, are we gonna
have to tussle, hombre?
417
00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:28,093
Tussle? Hombre? What the [BLEEP]
is this, "West Side Story"?
418
00:18:28,128 --> 00:18:29,333
- Josh.
- Yeah?
419
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,600
Sweetie bear, please wait for me inside.
420
00:18:31,634 --> 00:18:33,434
Yeah, go on in and have
some of that pink stuff.
421
00:18:33,469 --> 00:18:34,702
It looked delicious.
422
00:18:34,737 --> 00:18:36,537
- I got this.
- Hey, I'm watching you.
423
00:18:36,572 --> 00:18:38,286
I'm watching you, too, mangina.
424
00:18:38,574 --> 00:18:40,165
I am not a mangina.
425
00:18:40,476 --> 00:18:42,010
I'm just a regular man.
426
00:18:46,382 --> 00:18:48,189
At last by ourselves.
427
00:18:50,142 --> 00:18:51,485
15 years you been outta my life,
428
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,686
you think you're just gonna be able
429
00:18:52,722 --> 00:18:54,321
to walk right back in it, huh?
430
00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:55,322
Hell no!
431
00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:56,457
There's the old Shay.
432
00:18:56,492 --> 00:18:58,726
I got by Shannon now, not Shay.
433
00:18:58,761 --> 00:19:00,761
You calling yourself by
your government name now?
434
00:19:00,796 --> 00:19:04,331
Bitch, do you know how hard I had to work
435
00:19:04,367 --> 00:19:05,766
to pull myself up out the gutter?
436
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:07,368
How long did it take for you to marry
437
00:19:07,403 --> 00:19:08,369
that white man in there?
438
00:19:08,404 --> 00:19:09,882
Josh is a good man.
439
00:19:10,673 --> 00:19:12,473
He writes voiceovers for Anthony Bourdain.
440
00:19:12,508 --> 00:19:13,774
Yeah, but do you love him, though?
441
00:19:13,809 --> 00:19:15,015
Yes, I do.
442
00:19:21,415 --> 00:19:22,435
Mom!
443
00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:24,572
Amira's trying to poison me with peanuts.
444
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,318
I am not. Yes, you are!
445
00:19:26,354 --> 00:19:29,388
Amira, Shahzad, go inside
with your father now.
446
00:19:29,718 --> 00:19:31,184
Are you okay? I'm fine.
447
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:33,305
Go inside right now.
448
00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,526
Tray, I know what you want to say.
449
00:19:39,561 --> 00:19:40,942
How old are they?
450
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,462
- 15.
- Twins?
451
00:19:42,668 --> 00:19:44,798
- Tray...
- Scientifically speaking,
452
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,501
how did you and a
Caucasian man make two kids
453
00:19:47,536 --> 00:19:49,770
whose last name could be Wesley and Snipes?
454
00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:52,109
Good night, Shannon!
455
00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:54,441
Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Washington.
456
00:19:54,476 --> 00:19:55,976
Your support is appreciated.
457
00:19:56,011 --> 00:19:59,546
When I get home, I'm going to
write you a very large check!
458
00:19:59,581 --> 00:20:01,381
Oh, you are so kind.
459
00:20:02,776 --> 00:20:04,242
Listen to me, Tray.
460
00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:06,181
Those kids didn't grow
up the way that we did.
461
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,688
They got nice friends.
They go to a nice school.
462
00:20:08,713 --> 00:20:10,729
If those are my kids, I deserve to know.
463
00:20:11,117 --> 00:20:12,584
Two, three, four...
464
00:20:14,287 --> 00:20:16,120
- Not now, Bobby!
- Say what?!
465
00:20:16,156 --> 00:20:18,223
- Not right now!
- This the loudest it go!
466
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,701
Look, I told you not to leave.
467
00:20:20,927 --> 00:20:22,727
I told you not to go out
there and sell that rock,
468
00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:24,105
but you went, anyway.
469
00:20:24,373 --> 00:20:25,639
You could have gave them Wavy.
470
00:20:25,674 --> 00:20:26,710
I don't snitch.
471
00:20:26,710 --> 00:20:28,944
And that's why I didn't tell
you about the kids, Tray.
472
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,412
Because wherever you go, you bring chaos!
473
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:32,656
I don't bring chaos!
474
00:20:32,656 --> 00:20:33,647
Yes, you do!
475
00:20:33,683 --> 00:20:35,416
- Huh?!
- Not now, Bobby!
476
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:36,575
Oh, oh, okay.
477
00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:45,154
- Oh! Oh!
- What happened?
478
00:20:45,189 --> 00:20:48,824
Oh, look, my bad, Tray!
479
00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:50,526
You look gorgeous, Shay!
480
00:20:50,561 --> 00:20:52,895
Um, oh, you all right, man.
481
00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:54,797
Oh, yeah, you go ahead,
walk this off, baby.
482
00:20:54,832 --> 00:20:56,350
You gonna be just fine.
483
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,733
God damn it, Tray!
484
00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,582
You ain't changed a bit!
485
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,384
- He's fine!
- Oh!
486
00:21:01,419 --> 00:21:04,600
Come on, come on, come on, inside.
487
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:13,296
I'm a father.
488
00:21:14,766 --> 00:21:16,143
Harold!
489
00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:18,504
I'm a father.
490
00:21:20,909 --> 00:21:23,392
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www.addic7ed.com
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