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Things are really starting
2
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to heat up on "The Guest Book," bruh.
3
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,536
That stripper fell for some dude
4
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,828
who was staying at the
cabin, but he bailed on her.
5
00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:08,133
So now, she all pissed.
6
00:00:08,135 --> 00:00:09,799
And the doctor who lives next door,
7
00:00:09,805 --> 00:00:12,171
his wife brought a date
with her to his house.
8
00:00:12,173 --> 00:00:14,039
So things aren't looking
great for that marriage.
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00:00:14,041 --> 00:00:15,989
And the people the stripper
rented the cabin to
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00:00:15,995 --> 00:00:17,843
broke the shitter, so
the old dude is worried
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00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:20,273
his wife might find out
what he's been up to.
12
00:00:20,279 --> 00:00:21,545
Is there nudity?
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00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:22,920
Partial.
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- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
15
00:00:50,645 --> 00:00:52,556
What a cool place!
16
00:00:52,681 --> 00:00:54,612
You have 63 VHS tapes,
17
00:00:54,659 --> 00:00:56,431
12 spoons, 11 forks.
18
00:00:56,437 --> 00:00:59,238
The kitchen has 21 cabinet
doors and 2 curtains.
19
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,673
There's 16 chairs in
the house and 2 stools.
20
00:01:01,675 --> 00:01:04,410
The deer antlers on the
chandelier have 32 points.
21
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:07,279
There are three peanut M&Ms
under the couch cushions.
22
00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:10,048
I would have thrown them away,
but I'm allergic to peanuts.
23
00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,252
There are 13 lamps, 71 frog figurines.
24
00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:16,189
There are 21 pieces of plastic
food in the bowl in the kitchen.
25
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My name is Adam, and I love to count.
26
00:01:20,422 --> 00:01:23,056
7 hours, 23 minutes, and 18 seconds ago,
27
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I drove 84.6 miles to the mountains
28
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to stay in your lovely
781-square-foot cabin.
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Heel, two, heel.
30
00:01:38,606 --> 00:01:39,998
Mount Trace Rentals.
31
00:01:40,127 --> 00:01:42,927
Did you rent Froggy
Cottage last weekend?
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00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,207
Uh, no.
33
00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:46,488
Why?
34
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:49,257
I think somebody busted
in and broke the toilet.
35
00:01:49,259 --> 00:01:51,509
- I'm a call the police.
- No, no, no.
36
00:01:51,515 --> 00:01:53,182
Hello?
37
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:58,467
Hi. My name is Adam.
38
00:01:58,469 --> 00:02:00,926
I'm here to get the
keys to Froggy Cottage.
39
00:02:00,932 --> 00:02:02,650
There might be a little delay with that.
40
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,222
- The toilet's broken.
- No problem.
41
00:02:04,264 --> 00:02:07,215
As long as it's ready by 8.
I planned a surprise date.
42
00:02:07,907 --> 00:02:08,985
Ooh.
43
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,378
Mints.
44
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,632
May I?
45
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- Knock yourself out.
- Yeah?
46
00:02:18,248 --> 00:02:19,581
Did you say...
47
00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:21,153
A surprise date?
48
00:02:21,159 --> 00:02:22,358
I sure did.
49
00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:23,848
With a woman from work.
50
00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,183
Gillian.
51
00:02:25,185 --> 00:02:27,318
We both work at a sewing machine factory
52
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,909
in the accounts receivable department.
53
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,086
Gillian has worked there
for 134 and one-third days.
54
00:02:32,092 --> 00:02:34,626
She went home early
one day with the flu.
55
00:02:39,399 --> 00:02:41,214
I hope there's no caffeine in that.
56
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:43,081
I'm kidding, of course.
57
00:02:43,087 --> 00:02:45,655
What kind of coffee doesn't
have caffeine in it?
58
00:02:45,661 --> 00:02:46,969
Decaf?
59
00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:49,631
Yeah, but the decaf
60
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,655
pot has the orange handle, so...
61
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,928
Stupid, stupid.
62
00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,834
You know where they
keep the extra creamer?
63
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,155
All out, huh?
64
00:03:00,161 --> 00:03:03,346
That's strange. There were 18
packets in that bowl this morning.
65
00:03:03,352 --> 00:03:04,819
Maybe try the supply closet.
66
00:03:04,825 --> 00:03:06,024
Okay.
67
00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:07,329
Thanks, Adam.
68
00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:11,829
She knows my name.
69
00:03:16,971 --> 00:03:19,073
She's too young for you.
70
00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:21,842
Oh, how would you like if I said that
71
00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:23,788
about you and Adam Lambert?
72
00:03:24,224 --> 00:03:26,508
- I'd be hurt.
- And don't forget,
73
00:03:26,514 --> 00:03:28,509
I do things to help keep me young.
74
00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:29,639
Like I...
75
00:03:29,645 --> 00:03:32,065
I watch reruns of
"How I Met Your Mother,"
76
00:03:32,071 --> 00:03:34,338
and I listen to popular
music on the radio.
77
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:35,743
Do you know what the fox says?
78
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,491
I do. I know what the fox says.
79
00:03:37,497 --> 00:03:38,826
So, grow a sac
80
00:03:38,832 --> 00:03:40,758
- and ask her out already.
- No.
81
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,285
I'm too scared.
82
00:03:42,983 --> 00:03:44,789
I need to figure out a way
83
00:03:44,795 --> 00:03:47,003
to force myself to do it.
84
00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:49,534
Okay, here's the deal.
85
00:03:49,536 --> 00:03:51,432
The next time she wears her
86
00:03:51,471 --> 00:03:53,814
blue sweater with her gray pants,
87
00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:56,036
I'll ask her out. And if I don't...
88
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,317
If I don't, then I have to pull out
89
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,491
all the hairs on both my legs
90
00:04:01,497 --> 00:04:02,889
from the knee down.
91
00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:04,509
And we all know how much it hurts
92
00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:06,987
if you accidentally pull
off just one leg hair.
93
00:04:06,993 --> 00:04:09,326
So, if that's not an incentive
to get something done,
94
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,186
- I don't know what is.
- Listen, I really gotta get going.
95
00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:14,249
Why don't you explore
the town for a few hours
96
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,383
- till the place gets ready?
- Okay.
97
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,229
So I went to a place called Chubbys.
98
00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:19,964
37 light bulbs.
99
00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:21,566
But back to Gillian.
100
00:04:21,568 --> 00:04:23,167
All I had to do was wait for her
101
00:04:23,169 --> 00:04:25,903
to wear the right outfit so I
was forced to ask her out.
102
00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,427
Over the next few months,
103
00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:30,375
Gillian wore her blue
sweater eight times,
104
00:04:30,377 --> 00:04:32,915
but always with red pants or a skirt.
105
00:04:36,431 --> 00:04:37,797
She wore the gray pants a lot,
106
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,599
but never with the blue sweater.
107
00:04:39,601 --> 00:04:41,861
It was almost like she knew.
108
00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:45,237
Then, exactly 189 days
109
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,334
after I made the bet with myself...
110
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,973
- Excuse me.
- It happened.
111
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,683
Blue sweater, gray pants.
Blue sweater, gray pants!
112
00:05:06,495 --> 00:05:08,795
Go get your Adam Lambert.
113
00:05:09,254 --> 00:05:11,087
But as I rounded the corner,
114
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,560
you could have knocked me
over with a mouse fart.
115
00:05:16,822 --> 00:05:18,962
Well, what happened to your sweater?
116
00:05:19,074 --> 00:05:20,866
Oh, hi. What?
117
00:05:20,964 --> 00:05:23,364
You were wearing a blue sweater earlier.
118
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,491
Oh. I spilled juice on it.
119
00:05:30,232 --> 00:05:32,404
So...
120
00:05:33,298 --> 00:05:34,565
I'm sorry.
121
00:05:34,677 --> 00:05:35,943
I was...
122
00:05:36,286 --> 00:05:37,478
W-wondering...
123
00:05:38,389 --> 00:05:40,413
If I could borrow your stapler.
124
00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,705
Mine got wet.
125
00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,629
Are you gonna start
plucking that leg hair,
126
00:05:55,635 --> 00:05:57,833
- or do you need me to do it?
- Oh, she wasn't wearing
127
00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,797
the sweater when I went over there.
128
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,093
Was the deal that I made with myself
129
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,256
to ask her out after she wore it
130
00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:06,262
or while she was wearing it?
131
00:06:06,268 --> 00:06:09,502
I guess you weren't
real clear about that.
132
00:06:09,687 --> 00:06:12,821
Maybe you should just pull
out the hair on one leg.
133
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,973
Sounds fair.
134
00:06:22,203 --> 00:06:24,395
Oh. Your daughter's gonna love that.
135
00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:26,743
Ooh.
136
00:06:27,245 --> 00:06:28,745
Oh, I like it.
137
00:06:28,747 --> 00:06:30,246
It's really smooth.
138
00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,816
Like the inside of a baby's nose.
139
00:06:33,818 --> 00:06:35,718
Thanks. I like it, too.
140
00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:38,005
If I shut my eyes and cross my legs,
141
00:06:38,011 --> 00:06:40,408
it feels like I'm laying next to a girl.
142
00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:44,280
You're wasting your time
with that love bullshit.
143
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,056
Belie' that.
144
00:06:46,314 --> 00:06:48,360
You give 'em your heart.
145
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,674
You juggle their balls a
little in the bathroom stall,
146
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,829
help them escape police custody,
147
00:06:53,962 --> 00:06:56,367
only to have them take their
148
00:06:56,373 --> 00:06:58,184
substantially wide pecker
149
00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,013
to Mexico without you.
150
00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:04,020
Don't mind her. She's down in the dumps.
151
00:07:04,082 --> 00:07:05,615
I still believe in love.
152
00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:06,883
Me, too.
153
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,596
I also believe in Jesus and ghosts.
154
00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:11,869
I used to believe in myself.
155
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:14,350
Well, you're wasting your time
156
00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:17,260
with that love bullshit, belie' that.
157
00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:19,609
You give 'em your heart,
158
00:07:19,781 --> 00:07:21,820
you juggle their balls...
159
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,129
Wait.
160
00:07:23,248 --> 00:07:25,915
Did I already say this,
or did I think it?
161
00:07:26,137 --> 00:07:28,438
I'm... gonna go see if my cabin's ready.
162
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,966
Anyway, after I chickened
out with Gillian,
163
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,864
I started to worry that she
might find someone else
164
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,285
to be her boyfriend.
Theo from accounts payable
165
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:38,089
cut her a really nice corner
of his birthday cake last week,
166
00:07:38,095 --> 00:07:40,496
and something told me
it wasn't an accident.
167
00:07:40,498 --> 00:07:43,449
I hope this cake doesn't
have any sugar in it.
168
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,227
I'm... I'm kidding, of course.
169
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,002
What kind of cake doesn't have sugar?
170
00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:53,480
I knew I needed to make a move,
171
00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:55,737
and it had to be something big.
172
00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,726
A surprise party for two?
173
00:08:00,732 --> 00:08:03,232
It's a grand romantic gesture.
174
00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:05,290
I'll rent one of these
cabins up in the mountains,
175
00:08:05,296 --> 00:08:07,749
and I'll see Gillian an Evite
for a "party" I'm having.
176
00:08:07,751 --> 00:08:09,917
I wrote down a bunch of made up e-mails,
177
00:08:09,919 --> 00:08:12,497
and I'll send them all Evites as well.
178
00:08:12,538 --> 00:08:16,007
SnickerdoodleLover4326389?
179
00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:18,615
Yeah, I just made a list of
things I know about my mom,
180
00:08:18,621 --> 00:08:22,180
followed by some of my favorite
numbers, like RedHair68253
181
00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:24,124
or NotAliveAnymore81309.
182
00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,730
Anyway, when Gillian gets the Evite,
she'll think it's a real party,
183
00:08:26,736 --> 00:08:28,744
but when she gets up there...
184
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,216
Surprise!
185
00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:32,044
It's our first date.
186
00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:35,343
So, that's pretty much the plan.
187
00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:38,004
I'm gonna make the cabin look
really romantic with candles.
188
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,476
I'm also gonna make her dinner.
189
00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:42,026
I brought a dessert.
I read on the Facebook
190
00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:44,046
that her favorite food
is Chinese and Italian.
191
00:08:44,052 --> 00:08:46,859
I brought a frozen pizza because
I refuse to eat Chinese food.
192
00:08:46,865 --> 00:08:48,889
I don't like how it's
all mixed together.
193
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,749
How am I supposed to know
how many peas I'm eating?
194
00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:52,529
At least pizza has the decency
195
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:55,064
to put the pepperonis on
top so you can count them.
196
00:08:55,066 --> 00:08:57,580
There's no sign of forced entry.
197
00:08:57,586 --> 00:08:59,988
Are you guys sure you didn't
give the keys to anyone?
198
00:08:59,994 --> 00:09:01,193
I know I didn't.
199
00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:02,864
Well, I certainly haven't.
200
00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:06,263
- Who would I give the keys to?
- Hey, Wilfrid. Can I check in yet?
201
00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:08,069
I want to take a shower
before the big date.
202
00:09:08,071 --> 00:09:10,901
Yeah, as long as you don't mind
that one of the toilets is broken.
203
00:09:10,907 --> 00:09:12,840
I don't mind. Wish me luck.
204
00:09:12,842 --> 00:09:15,078
On the Evite, she was a "maybe," so,
205
00:09:15,274 --> 00:09:16,633
fingers crossed.
206
00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:20,448
Hey. How did things go
with your wife visiting?
207
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:21,916
Oh, yeah.
208
00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:23,096
Not good.
209
00:09:23,174 --> 00:09:24,515
She brought a date.
210
00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:26,654
- So sorry to hear that.
- Yeah.
211
00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:33,314
So, anyway, thanks for
letting me use your cabin.
212
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,854
Hopefully, Gillian and I will
be returning once a year
213
00:09:35,856 --> 00:09:38,382
to celebrate the anniversary
of our first date.
214
00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:40,260
In love, Adam.
215
00:09:44,797 --> 00:09:45,951
P.S. ...
216
00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:49,591
You'll never guess what happened
when I opened the door.
217
00:09:50,702 --> 00:09:52,235
So there I was,
218
00:09:52,241 --> 00:09:54,636
all ready to surprise
Gillian with our date.
219
00:09:58,187 --> 00:09:59,257
Hey.
220
00:09:59,452 --> 00:10:00,641
Hey.
221
00:10:01,319 --> 00:10:03,319
Oh, you know Theo, right?
222
00:10:03,321 --> 00:10:04,920
Of course.
223
00:10:04,922 --> 00:10:06,451
Accounts payable.
224
00:10:06,457 --> 00:10:09,441
- You had a birthday the other day.
- Yep, and a cake...
225
00:10:09,447 --> 00:10:12,318
With sugar. Actually, maybe too much.
226
00:10:12,324 --> 00:10:14,403
I went back for seconds,
and it was all gone.
227
00:10:14,409 --> 00:10:17,500
Maybe if you didn't cut such
big slices for some people.
228
00:10:17,506 --> 00:10:19,769
So, a-a-are you guys dating?
229
00:10:19,771 --> 00:10:21,170
- Oh, no.
- No.
230
00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:22,371
We're just friends.
231
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:23,972
Yeah, it was such a long ride.
232
00:10:23,978 --> 00:10:26,332
So I figured I'd ask Theo to join me.
233
00:10:26,338 --> 00:10:28,739
That's great to hear...
234
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,934
That you're... you're being so smart
235
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,712
about the long ride.
236
00:10:32,731 --> 00:10:34,813
Way to use the old noodle.
237
00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:36,411
When it's just me in the house,
238
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,333
I try not to waste electricity.
239
00:10:38,339 --> 00:10:40,341
- I wasn't...
- expecting...
240
00:10:40,347 --> 00:10:42,485
people... This early.
241
00:10:42,491 --> 00:10:44,593
I'm sorry. The Evite said 8.
242
00:10:44,595 --> 00:10:46,662
Yeah. I just kind of...
243
00:10:46,664 --> 00:10:48,729
- put that on there.
- The truth is...
244
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,410
the crew I usually hang with...
245
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,202
- doesn't get started...
- until much later.
246
00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:57,556
Well, as long as we're here,
do you need help setting up?
247
00:10:57,562 --> 00:11:00,387
No, that's okay. I was just heading out
248
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,225
to get ready to go buy some beer.
249
00:11:02,231 --> 00:11:03,389
You guys just, uh,
250
00:11:03,514 --> 00:11:05,163
make yourself at home.
251
00:11:06,252 --> 00:11:07,451
Guys!
252
00:11:07,453 --> 00:11:09,119
Guys, she brought someone with her.
253
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,587
I have to throw a real party.
254
00:11:10,589 --> 00:11:12,222
Do you know this guy?
255
00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:14,280
Ish. I know him -ish.
256
00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:16,025
Can you please come over?
257
00:11:16,031 --> 00:11:18,225
I have to make it look like
I'm throwing a real party.
258
00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:20,100
Uh... I guess so.
259
00:11:20,102 --> 00:11:22,193
I gotta call my son first,
wish him good night.
260
00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:24,865
Perfect. I'm gonna go
get alcoholic beer.
261
00:11:24,871 --> 00:11:27,656
And then head into town to try to
round up some more party guests.
262
00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:30,119
Say, hey... do... do you
want to go to a party?
263
00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:32,638
- I'm working.
- Well, what if I order a bunch of food?
264
00:11:32,644 --> 00:11:35,480
Will you just stick around
a-a-and act like we're friends?
265
00:11:36,753 --> 00:11:38,987
I'm not comfortable with
saying we're friends.
266
00:11:39,006 --> 00:11:41,439
But you could tell people
I used to date your sister,
267
00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:43,689
and I'm still hung up on her,
so I'm hanging out with you
268
00:11:43,695 --> 00:11:46,156
as a way to try to get
her to take me back.
269
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,246
Deal.
270
00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:50,915
Hey, just curious...
271
00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:53,585
Wh-why couldn't we just be friends?
272
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,020
I just don't see it.
273
00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:57,334
Okay.
274
00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,868
Anyway, it's Froggy Cottage, and
it should be a really fun party.
275
00:12:01,874 --> 00:12:03,907
I invited a bunch of
people I met in town,
276
00:12:03,909 --> 00:12:06,043
and the guy next door might show up.
277
00:12:06,045 --> 00:12:07,343
Dr. Brown?
278
00:12:07,349 --> 00:12:09,876
- I don't know his profession.
- Tall, really handsome,
279
00:12:09,882 --> 00:12:11,682
looks like he could lift
you onto a dresser?
280
00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:13,283
Yeah, that's him.
281
00:12:13,285 --> 00:12:15,332
Maybe I'll stop by after my shift.
282
00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:18,575
- Slow down, okay?
- Will do.
283
00:12:18,581 --> 00:12:21,482
I'm sorry. Sometimes I count
the numbers on the speedometer
284
00:12:21,484 --> 00:12:24,740
when they're going up, and
I don't want them to stop.
285
00:12:28,653 --> 00:12:30,019
Oh, hey.
286
00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:32,517
I hope you don't mind,
we cooked the pizza.
287
00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,542
No. Not at all.
288
00:12:34,548 --> 00:12:36,180
That's what it's there for.
289
00:12:36,186 --> 00:12:38,347
Although save some room for Chinese.
290
00:12:38,353 --> 00:12:39,981
Do you like Chinese food?
291
00:12:39,987 --> 00:12:42,193
- Are you kidding? I love it!
- Huh.
292
00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:43,675
Me, too.
293
00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,082
Twinsies.
294
00:12:47,813 --> 00:12:49,346
As it turns out,
295
00:12:49,348 --> 00:12:51,413
this little mountain
town is super friendly.
296
00:12:51,419 --> 00:12:53,571
And once they heard I needed
help, they were more than happy
297
00:12:53,577 --> 00:12:55,054
to come to my fake party.
298
00:12:55,056 --> 00:12:57,153
Hey, I hope it's okay that
we brought a few friends.
299
00:12:57,159 --> 00:12:59,038
- They heard there'd be free beer.
- Oh, yeah.
300
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:02,059
The more, the merrier.
There's 149 beers left.
301
00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:03,956
Hey.
302
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,894
Hey, look... that old dude
we're blackmailing is here.
303
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,528
He's with his wife, all right.
304
00:13:13,534 --> 00:13:15,434
- Maybe we should leave?
- Hey.
305
00:13:15,536 --> 00:13:16,929
Let's have some fun.
306
00:13:18,785 --> 00:13:21,096
Hey, look, it's my
sister's ex-boyfriend.
307
00:13:21,102 --> 00:13:22,941
He brought food.
308
00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:24,989
Before I knew it, I was
throwing a real party.
309
00:13:24,991 --> 00:13:27,525
♪ Seal goes ow, ow, ow ♪
310
00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:29,026
♪ But there's a sound ♪
311
00:13:29,028 --> 00:13:31,534
♪ That no one knows ♪
312
00:13:32,732 --> 00:13:34,342
♪ What does the fox say ♪
313
00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,367
♪ Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding ♪
314
00:13:36,369 --> 00:13:38,136
♪ Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding ♪
315
00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:40,204
♪ Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding ♪
316
00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,006
♪ What the fox say ♪
317
00:13:42,008 --> 00:13:44,008
♪ Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪
318
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:45,710
♪ Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪
319
00:13:45,712 --> 00:13:47,845
♪ Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪
320
00:13:47,847 --> 00:13:49,379
♪ What the fox say ♪
321
00:13:49,385 --> 00:13:51,178
♪ Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho ♪
322
00:13:51,184 --> 00:13:53,050
♪ Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho ♪
323
00:13:53,052 --> 00:13:55,019
♪ Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho ♪
324
00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:56,854
♪ What the fox say ♪
325
00:13:56,856 --> 00:13:58,890
♪ Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo tchoff ♪
326
00:13:58,892 --> 00:14:00,825
♪ Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo tchoff ♪
327
00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:02,794
♪ Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo ♪
328
00:14:02,796 --> 00:14:04,762
♪ What the fox say ♪
329
00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:12,968
Hey, Adam.
330
00:14:12,974 --> 00:14:15,469
This is a really cool place.
331
00:14:16,075 --> 00:14:18,382
- What happened to your food?
- I spilled it.
332
00:14:18,655 --> 00:14:21,422
And then I was cleaning it up, and,
333
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,863
wow, I didn't even realize I
was putting it into these piles.
334
00:14:25,518 --> 00:14:28,319
I guess you could take the
accountant out of the office,
335
00:14:28,321 --> 00:14:30,341
but you can't take the counting
out of the accountant.
336
00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,806
Do you like Kung Pao chicken?
337
00:14:33,812 --> 00:14:35,718
I love it. If it's Chinese, I love it.
338
00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:37,191
I love Chinese food.
339
00:14:37,197 --> 00:14:39,597
You know, you... you and I,
we share that in common.
340
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,300
We were sharing chopsticks.
341
00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:45,051
That's like one step away from kissing.
342
00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:48,147
If she has a mouth disease,
now we both have it.
343
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,020
So good.
344
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:57,079
There aren't any peanuts in
there, are... are there?
345
00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:59,089
Oh.
346
00:14:59,185 --> 00:15:00,718
Oh, you're kidding, right?
347
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,004
Okay... what kind of Kung
Pao doesn't have peanuts?
348
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,731
I'm beginning to get your humor, Adam.
349
00:15:06,737 --> 00:15:08,693
Yeah, well, you know,
my mother always said,
350
00:15:08,695 --> 00:15:11,791
"Adam, humor is the bedrock
of any relationship."
351
00:15:11,797 --> 00:15:13,330
Ha.
352
00:15:13,785 --> 00:15:16,780
And stay away from peanuts,
because you're allergic.
353
00:15:21,702 --> 00:15:23,715
Hey. Do you have recycling...
354
00:15:24,438 --> 00:15:26,271
Holy shit, what happened to your face?
355
00:15:26,277 --> 00:15:27,944
Peanuts. I ate peanuts,
356
00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,908
- and I'm allergic.
- All right, we need
357
00:15:29,914 --> 00:15:31,177
to get you to the hospital, pronto.
358
00:15:31,183 --> 00:15:32,352
No, no, no, no, don't say anything.
359
00:15:32,358 --> 00:15:33,903
It will ruin everything with Gillian.
360
00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,924
Okay, I'm breathing okay, and...
361
00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,792
the... the itching is
getting better, okay?
362
00:15:38,794 --> 00:15:40,494
I'm fine. Please, don't say anything.
363
00:15:40,496 --> 00:15:42,828
This may be my only
chance at love, please.
364
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:45,706
Okay. Okay, settle down.
Maybe you're not anaphylactic,
365
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,101
but I'd feel better if we could get
an epinephrine injection in you.
366
00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:49,837
- I'm gonna run to the hospital.
- Okay.
367
00:15:49,839 --> 00:15:52,039
If you start to have trouble
breathing, you call 9-1-1.
368
00:15:52,041 --> 00:15:53,955
- Okay, I'm fine.
- Okay?
369
00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:56,232
I'm fine.
370
00:15:57,852 --> 00:16:00,247
Hey, would you mind giving me
a ride somewhere real quick?
371
00:16:00,249 --> 00:16:02,650
- Like, with sirens and everything?
- I'd love to!
372
00:16:02,656 --> 00:16:04,322
If go real fast around the turns,
373
00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:06,449
you might have to hold
onto my thigh for safety.
374
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:09,323
It's called Chubbys Bikini Bar.
375
00:16:09,325 --> 00:16:11,274
Okay, I know that place.
376
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,675
I pass it on my way to dialysis.
377
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,281
What exactly goes on in there?
378
00:16:16,287 --> 00:16:18,008
You know, sometimes a pervert
379
00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:20,033
tries to lure us into the storage room,
380
00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:21,702
but mostly, we just dance.
381
00:16:21,704 --> 00:16:23,971
I just started dancing myself.
382
00:16:23,973 --> 00:16:25,711
My husband and I are practicing
383
00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:27,403
so we can go line dancing.
384
00:16:27,409 --> 00:16:29,076
That's my husband over there.
385
00:16:29,078 --> 00:16:30,978
Wilfrid, this is Vivian.
386
00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:33,853
Oh, hello. Nice to,
uh, meet you, Vivian.
387
00:16:35,313 --> 00:16:37,200
I'm so sorry about this.
388
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,342
Yeah. Yeah, whatever.
389
00:16:40,222 --> 00:16:42,022
Your shoelace is untied.
390
00:16:42,024 --> 00:16:45,150
So, why do they call it Chubbys?
391
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:47,553
A chubby is what some people call
392
00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:49,863
a fella's wiener when it's half hard.
393
00:16:49,865 --> 00:16:51,015
Really?
394
00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:53,794
Damn, they got a name
for everything, don't they?
395
00:16:54,106 --> 00:16:57,270
My granddaughter just
taught me what a queef was.
396
00:16:57,743 --> 00:16:59,126
What's a queef?
397
00:17:01,051 --> 00:17:02,392
Pussy fart.
398
00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:05,898
Thanks again for coming with me.
399
00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:07,960
I had no idea what to expect.
400
00:17:07,966 --> 00:17:11,162
Adam didn't strike me as the type
of guy to throw a crazy party.
401
00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:13,032
- He's kind of old.
- I know.
402
00:17:13,038 --> 00:17:15,654
He kind of reminds me of my
uncle Lou, always trying to act
403
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,234
- younger than he is.
- Yeah, well, I'm sure we'll be
404
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,830
the same way when we're his age.
405
00:17:19,836 --> 00:17:21,728
Plus, Adam is just super sweet.
406
00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:23,322
That's why I had to come.
407
00:17:23,328 --> 00:17:25,052
I'm just glad we're becoming friends.
408
00:17:25,058 --> 00:17:26,199
He's a good guy.
409
00:17:26,201 --> 00:17:29,067
Listen, I know earlier you
said this isn't a date,
410
00:17:29,073 --> 00:17:31,275
and I didn't think it was, either. But
411
00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:33,439
would you want to go out some time?
412
00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:36,409
I'd love to.
413
00:17:37,146 --> 00:17:39,713
You know, Adam is gonna
love it when he finds out
414
00:17:39,715 --> 00:17:42,694
that his party is the reason
that you and I got together.
415
00:17:58,601 --> 00:17:59,994
Oh, my God.
416
00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:01,715
Oh, Jeez!
417
00:18:01,802 --> 00:18:03,235
Adam!
418
00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:04,477
Oh!
419
00:18:13,498 --> 00:18:14,681
Hey, guys.
420
00:18:14,687 --> 00:18:16,086
- Hey.
- Hey.
421
00:18:16,092 --> 00:18:18,284
Hi. Hi.
422
00:18:18,396 --> 00:18:19,448
Thanks for coming.
423
00:18:19,454 --> 00:18:21,767
Before long, I was
breathing normally again.
424
00:18:21,773 --> 00:18:23,864
And after a few more hours of fun,
425
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:25,337
the party was over.
426
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:28,529
Thanks for coming, friends.
427
00:18:28,947 --> 00:18:31,588
I'll see you later, Eddie.
Good luck with my sister.
428
00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:34,002
Bye.
429
00:18:34,008 --> 00:18:35,627
- Thanks.
- Bye.
430
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,500
- Thanks, Adam.
- Bye, Theo.
431
00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:39,810
I'll see you guys at work in
432
00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:41,886
31 hours and 17 minutes.
433
00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:43,437
Okay.
434
00:18:53,753 --> 00:18:56,754
As far as my love life goes,
the night was a bust.
435
00:18:56,904 --> 00:18:59,772
But I did make some new
friends, and I'm alive.
436
00:18:59,774 --> 00:19:01,797
So, I guess it wasn't a total loss.
437
00:19:01,803 --> 00:19:03,269
Your tenant, Adam.
438
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:06,145
P.P.S. ... you've got a
serious insect problem
439
00:19:06,147 --> 00:19:08,844
inside your kitchen cupboard.
There were too many to count.
440
00:19:20,636 --> 00:19:22,202
Who is it?
441
00:19:22,707 --> 00:19:23,937
It's Abby.
442
00:19:23,939 --> 00:19:25,940
I'm here for the party.
443
00:19:26,609 --> 00:19:27,794
Hi.
444
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,142
I know I'm kind of late.
445
00:19:29,278 --> 00:19:31,345
I got an Evite about a week ago.
446
00:19:31,347 --> 00:19:32,680
I thought it might be a mistake,
447
00:19:32,682 --> 00:19:34,315
but my e-mail address is so strange,
448
00:19:34,317 --> 00:19:35,716
I don't know how that could happen.
449
00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:38,218
SnickerdoodleLover4326389.
450
00:19:38,368 --> 00:19:40,744
The number signifies how
many snickerdoodle cookies
451
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:43,238
I think it would take to ease
tensions in the Middle East.
452
00:19:43,406 --> 00:19:45,973
Anyway, I was sitting at
home tonight, doing nothing,
453
00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:48,109
as always, and I thought,
"What the heck?"
454
00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:49,977
"Maybe I should go to that party."
455
00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:52,847
But I just couldn't muster up
the nerve to walk to my car.
456
00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:55,650
So, I made a deal with myself
that if I saw a commercial
457
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,251
for that egg-shaped cheese grater thing
458
00:19:57,253 --> 00:19:59,286
that you use to get the
dead skin off your feet,
459
00:19:59,288 --> 00:20:02,174
that would be a sign I
should get in my car and go.
460
00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:04,792
And wouldn't you know, halfway
through "How I Met Your Mother,"
461
00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:06,065
there it was...
462
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:08,038
That silly foot egg.
463
00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:09,190
So...
464
00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:10,854
Here I am.
465
00:20:12,947 --> 00:20:14,380
Party's over.
466
00:20:17,623 --> 00:20:18,955
What a weirdo.
467
00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:21,373
♪ Show me the best that you got ♪
468
00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:23,987
♪ And I'll show you one better ♪
469
00:20:26,398 --> 00:20:28,532
♪ Tell me a dirty joke ♪
470
00:20:28,534 --> 00:20:31,505
♪ And I'll laugh it off lightly ♪
471
00:20:33,071 --> 00:20:35,739
♪ If I tell you a dirty joke ♪
472
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,614
♪ You might not like me ♪
473
00:20:40,846 --> 00:20:45,269
♪ Everyone gets to
make one big mistake ♪
474
00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:49,386
♪ And if you're waiting on me ♪
475
00:20:49,388 --> 00:20:52,989
♪ Well, I guess you gonna have to wait ♪
476
00:20:58,263 --> 00:20:59,751
Tommy!
477
00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:01,827
Oh, baby, look!
478
00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:03,842
Look at these cabins they got up here.
479
00:21:03,848 --> 00:21:05,314
Honey, we should rent one.
480
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,017
I don't want to sleep in the El Camino.
481
00:21:07,023 --> 00:21:09,070
I don't have a lot of cash.
482
00:21:09,076 --> 00:21:11,032
We don't need cash, baby.
483
00:21:11,038 --> 00:21:13,275
I still got all these
stolen credit cards, okay?
484
00:21:13,281 --> 00:21:16,249
You gotta do it, though, 'cause
they all got boys names on them.
485
00:21:16,255 --> 00:21:18,184
I'll meet you in the car, okay?
486
00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:20,461
Uh, but I already got two strikes.
487
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,033
Don't be a pussy.
488
00:21:23,541 --> 00:21:28,003
♪ Everyone gets to
make one big mistake ♪
489
00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:32,594
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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