Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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I give you the product
that will carry Hooli
2
00:00:03,117 --> 00:00:05,726
to complete market dominance.
3
00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:07,501
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
4
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- MAN: [WHISPERS] It looks like a penis.
- Yes... Yes, it does.
5
00:00:11,135 --> 00:00:12,503
_
6
00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:14,545
So, we're giving a random company
7
00:00:14,546 --> 00:00:16,670
a bunch of free compute
power in our network?
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00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:17,804
BERTRAM GILFOYLE: The AI company?
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I made her! I can do
anything I want with her!
10
00:00:21,467 --> 00:00:23,254
Ugh. Gross.
11
00:00:23,629 --> 00:00:26,670
Can you please tell me
what you are going to do
12
00:00:26,671 --> 00:00:28,682
about this Jian Yang situation?
13
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Yes. Nothing.
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"I went to China to do new
new internet. Jian Yang."
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_
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RICHARD: This went up yesterday.
17
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A fake Pied Piper. This
is Jian-Yang, not us.
18
00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:50,712
Richard, he has a website.
19
00:00:50,713 --> 00:00:52,128
Okay? He doesn't have a product.
20
00:00:52,129 --> 00:00:53,587
Just post a cease and desist
21
00:00:53,588 --> 00:00:55,545
on your own website and move on.
22
00:00:55,546 --> 00:00:56,576
We need action.
23
00:00:56,781 --> 00:00:59,614
I wanna move up our launch so we
can beat this asshole to market.
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00:00:59,713 --> 00:01:03,615
We need money. So, how quickly
can we get a series B together?
25
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:07,071
Richard, a series B is not a done deal.
26
00:01:07,072 --> 00:01:09,030
And Laurie's not gonna be
able to weigh in on this
27
00:01:09,031 --> 00:01:10,905
until she's done sorting
things out over at Eklow.
28
00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:12,071
Why is she still over there?
29
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,405
We put 112 million of
our dollars into a company
30
00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:18,739
whose creepy CEO just fled
with its most valuable asset.
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Ariel and that robot could be anywhere.
32
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Ariel fucked us too, remember?
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I just had my whole company
on a three-day code sprint
34
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to repair all the holes
35
00:01:27,656 --> 00:01:29,196
and un-fuck all the damage he did.
36
00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:31,363
Besides, Laurie doesn't work at Eklow.
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She works here, with you and me.
38
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:34,065
True,
39
00:01:34,409 --> 00:01:36,141
but also not true.
40
00:01:36,926 --> 00:01:40,505
Look, Laurie has installed
herself as Eklow's interim CEO.
41
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What?
42
00:01:41,489 --> 00:01:44,259
Laurie, Ariel encrypted all of his files.
43
00:01:44,284 --> 00:01:45,450
We can't open any of them.
44
00:01:45,475 --> 00:01:47,474
Ah, understood. Keep trying, please.
45
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,475
I spoke with the bank.
46
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,911
We're not gonna make payroll.
47
00:01:50,516 --> 00:01:53,655
Noted. Thank you for your
diligence. People are pretty upset.
48
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Somebody shattered the toilet.
49
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Ah, yes, well, we'll certainly
50
00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:58,583
have to get that repaired, won't we?
51
00:01:59,903 --> 00:02:01,326
Good work, you two.
52
00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:03,033
Hang in there.
53
00:02:03,033 --> 00:02:05,075
♪
54
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:09,835
Hey, Laurie.
55
00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:12,029
I know you're "busy" being a "CEO,"
56
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:14,070
but we have to have a
serious conversation about...
57
00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:16,029
[LAURIE RETCHING]
58
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,039
- LAURIE: Richard?
- Yes?
59
00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,285
I have vomited into my shirt.
60
00:02:24,286 --> 00:02:26,370
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
61
00:02:34,553 --> 00:02:36,553
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:37,254 --> 00:02:38,314
Puking.
63
00:02:38,562 --> 00:02:39,713
That's my move.
64
00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:41,691
Thank you for...
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00:02:44,479 --> 00:02:45,778
finding me a...
66
00:02:46,312 --> 00:02:47,645
a change of clothing.
67
00:02:47,646 --> 00:02:50,436
Well, fortunately, you're
the same size as the robot.
68
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:53,146
Richard, the position of CEO is...
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taxing.
70
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:56,442
It isn't easy, is it?
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00:02:56,771 --> 00:02:58,694
I think perhaps I may have
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00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:02,017
treated you unfairly in the past.
73
00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:03,576
Oh..
74
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,536
[SCOFFS] Well...
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00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,436
I mean, a couple... a
couple... yeah. Sure. Thank you.
76
00:03:09,666 --> 00:03:11,361
Thank you for saying that, yeah.
77
00:03:11,361 --> 00:03:12,316
Yes.
78
00:03:15,079 --> 00:03:17,037
Well, I have work to do, as do you, so.
79
00:03:20,361 --> 00:03:21,403
[SCOFFS]
80
00:03:26,403 --> 00:03:28,402
♪
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00:03:28,403 --> 00:03:29,943
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
82
00:03:30,387 --> 00:03:34,238
You know, Laurie, I actually
may have a way to help you here.
83
00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:38,333
YAO: Things are changing
in China now, Gavin.
84
00:03:38,543 --> 00:03:39,991
There are many reforms.
85
00:03:40,211 --> 00:03:42,336
As you see, we provide a series
86
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of Tai Chi and movement classes,
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00:03:44,338 --> 00:03:46,057
free for all employees,
88
00:03:46,249 --> 00:03:48,621
as well as free medical benefits.
89
00:03:49,046 --> 00:03:51,795
Ah, our nutrition center.
90
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,712
In addition to all the good food
91
00:03:53,713 --> 00:03:56,049
we serve in our main cafeteria.
92
00:03:56,588 --> 00:03:58,028
Also free of charge.
93
00:03:59,254 --> 00:04:00,646
This concludes our tour.
94
00:04:00,962 --> 00:04:02,174
Any questions?
95
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,477
Just one.
96
00:04:04,086 --> 00:04:05,502
What the fuck?
97
00:04:05,566 --> 00:04:07,607
- Sorry?
- If I wanted to see nap pods
98
00:04:07,608 --> 00:04:09,732
and climbing walls, I would've stayed home,
99
00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:10,940
or gone to fucking Denmark.
100
00:04:10,941 --> 00:04:12,774
All I wanna see is people working
101
00:04:12,775 --> 00:04:14,491
as hard as they possibly can.
102
00:04:14,491 --> 00:04:15,908
That's why we come to China.
103
00:04:15,908 --> 00:04:17,116
This is the new China.
104
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,907
We found that the more humane
work environment we have,
105
00:04:20,908 --> 00:04:22,866
the more sustainable over time.
106
00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:24,241
Over time? No, no.
107
00:04:24,242 --> 00:04:27,728
The Box Three has a very
limited window of profitability.
108
00:04:27,775 --> 00:04:30,607
I need you focused on making
as many of them as possible,
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00:04:30,608 --> 00:04:32,173
as fast as possible.
110
00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:33,099
Gavin.
111
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,422
You know our shameful history
112
00:04:35,594 --> 00:04:37,364
of worker suicides.
113
00:04:37,507 --> 00:04:40,700
Since the renovation, not a single one.
114
00:04:41,006 --> 00:04:42,214
GAVIN: Not even one?
115
00:04:42,331 --> 00:04:43,274
Okay.
116
00:04:43,664 --> 00:04:45,696
But there's gotta be
like a middle ground here.
117
00:04:46,156 --> 00:04:47,580
[WOMAN SPEAKS CHINESE]
118
00:04:47,581 --> 00:04:49,534
Ah, a happy surprise.
119
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,497
The children from our daycare center have
120
00:04:51,498 --> 00:04:53,905
prepared a traditional song just for you.
121
00:04:54,831 --> 00:04:58,109
[SINGING IN CHINESE]
122
00:04:58,578 --> 00:04:59,619
That's wonderful.
123
00:05:00,956 --> 00:05:03,039
Yao, I need you to give me 30% more output.
124
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,317
I don't care how you do it.
125
00:05:04,831 --> 00:05:06,021
Just a thought,
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00:05:06,696 --> 00:05:08,278
those kids don't look that busy.
127
00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:13,164
[SINGING CONTINUES]
128
00:05:14,824 --> 00:05:16,080
[TYPING]
129
00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:18,521
Are you done with... your chunk yet?
130
00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:19,664
Almost done.
131
00:05:19,665 --> 00:05:21,497
Because everyone else is done.
132
00:05:21,542 --> 00:05:23,048
- Literally everyone.
- [SNORING]
133
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,135
47 engineers finished.
134
00:05:25,545 --> 00:05:26,866
One not.
135
00:05:27,355 --> 00:05:28,336
You.
136
00:05:28,337 --> 00:05:30,712
- Almost there.
- I'm sure it'll be worth the wait.
137
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,420
[SLURPS]
138
00:05:34,819 --> 00:05:37,058
Mmm, no, that's way too strong for him.
139
00:05:37,058 --> 00:05:39,057
Hey, guys. How's the code sprint going?
140
00:05:39,059 --> 00:05:40,642
T-minus Dinesh.
141
00:05:40,643 --> 00:05:42,475
JARED: Richard, I am pleased to say
142
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,767
that your new assistant is a quick study.
143
00:05:44,768 --> 00:05:47,642
And per your text, he posted
a well-crafted cease and desist
144
00:05:47,643 --> 00:05:50,091
directed at Jian-Yang on
the Pied Piper website.
145
00:05:50,425 --> 00:05:53,475
I made some judicious
edits to capture your voice,
146
00:05:53,476 --> 00:05:55,905
but the thrust of the piece was his.
147
00:05:56,476 --> 00:05:57,809
I have a law degree, so.
148
00:05:57,810 --> 00:05:58,809
Well done, Holden.
149
00:05:59,018 --> 00:06:00,392
Is that tea for me?
150
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,976
- It is, indeed.
- Okay. Great.
151
00:06:01,977 --> 00:06:03,142
No, no, no, no, don't.
152
00:06:03,143 --> 00:06:04,225
It's too strong.
153
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:05,917
- Okay.
- Water it down.
154
00:06:09,143 --> 00:06:12,809
So, did you speak to
Laurie about our series B?
155
00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:13,810
Sort of.
156
00:06:13,811 --> 00:06:16,183
Uh, Gilfoyle, is there a secure way
157
00:06:16,184 --> 00:06:19,017
of giving someone access to our servers
158
00:06:19,018 --> 00:06:21,058
while still limiting and controlling
159
00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:22,308
how much compute they could use?
160
00:06:22,309 --> 00:06:24,100
I could create a credit system.
161
00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:26,851
Wait, I'm sorry, Richard. Who
would these credits be for?
162
00:06:26,852 --> 00:06:29,600
Laurie Bream. She made
herself CEO of Eklow.
163
00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:31,709
- I'm just trying to help her out.
- Pardon?
164
00:06:31,756 --> 00:06:33,517
Do you think you could
set those up by today?
165
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,017
More work. Fantastic.
166
00:06:35,018 --> 00:06:36,898
Richard, I don't quite understand...
167
00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:38,041
DINESH: Done!
168
00:06:38,226 --> 00:06:40,883
Done! I am done!
169
00:06:41,351 --> 00:06:43,018
[DINESH LAUGHING]
170
00:06:44,268 --> 00:06:45,517
Look at this!
171
00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:46,836
Whoo!
172
00:06:47,751 --> 00:06:49,100
- Code sprint over.
- _
173
00:06:49,101 --> 00:06:50,893
- [GONG RINGS]
- [APPLAUSE]
174
00:06:55,643 --> 00:06:57,100
[GONG QUIETS]
175
00:06:57,101 --> 00:06:59,058
Uh, congratulations, everybody.
176
00:06:59,059 --> 00:07:00,183
Really, good... good job.
177
00:07:00,184 --> 00:07:03,809
Um, the only thing left
to do now is... Uh...
178
00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:07,546
get back to work and review
all the code for errors.
179
00:07:08,004 --> 00:07:09,421
- Okay, so...
- [GROANING]
180
00:07:11,059 --> 00:07:12,018
Okay.
181
00:07:12,019 --> 00:07:13,600
That was an
out-of-body experience.
182
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,847
It was like God was coding through me.
183
00:07:15,847 --> 00:07:17,308
Time stood still.
184
00:07:17,309 --> 00:07:18,934
Not for the rest of us it didn't.
185
00:07:18,935 --> 00:07:20,411
Laugh it up, Gilf.
186
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,183
I hear you making your
little jokes at my expense,
187
00:07:23,184 --> 00:07:25,308
turning all the engineers against me.
188
00:07:25,309 --> 00:07:28,058
But the second these results go up,
189
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they're all going to see the
only thing that matters...
190
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,523
Who made less errors.
191
00:07:33,685 --> 00:07:35,642
You mean who made "fewer" errors?
192
00:07:35,643 --> 00:07:37,434
Oh, you think you're so clever.
193
00:07:37,435 --> 00:07:39,142
You know who else thought it was clever?
194
00:07:39,143 --> 00:07:40,143
The hare.
195
00:07:40,144 --> 00:07:42,767
Right before it was
defeated by the tortoise.
196
00:07:42,768 --> 00:07:44,767
I'm the fucking tortoise, Gilfoyle.
197
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:47,517
- I'm the fucking tortoise!
- Keep saying that.
198
00:07:47,518 --> 00:07:49,267
I can't wait for these results to go up.
199
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:52,308
Guys? No, no, no. We
talked about this. Remember?
200
00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:53,642
You're both senior management now.
201
00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:56,267
Okay? Your code will be
subject to private review.
202
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,142
No. No, no, no, not private.
203
00:07:58,143 --> 00:08:00,017
Everyone has to know that
I'm better than Gilfoyle.
204
00:08:00,018 --> 00:08:01,851
I'm sorry. When it was just us,
205
00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:04,350
a little cocksmanship was a fun diversion.
206
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,600
But the entire engineering team's morale
207
00:08:06,601 --> 00:08:09,434
depends on seeing you both
as equally competent leaders.
208
00:08:09,435 --> 00:08:11,767
Danny over there is going
to be reviewing your code,
209
00:08:11,768 --> 00:08:14,393
and keeping the results
completely confidential.
210
00:08:15,435 --> 00:08:16,468
Jared...
211
00:08:16,685 --> 00:08:20,475
I believe we all know who's
the better coder anyway.
212
00:08:20,476 --> 00:08:21,761
Um, Richard?
213
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:25,514
I'm sorry, I'm still having a little
bit of a hard time understanding.
214
00:08:25,514 --> 00:08:28,388
You went to see Laurie
to get money from her
215
00:08:28,543 --> 00:08:31,331
but now you're giving our resources to her.
216
00:08:31,972 --> 00:08:33,346
Why would you do that?
217
00:08:33,456 --> 00:08:36,497
Well, honestly Jared, she was a mess.
218
00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:40,138
And I really, genuinely felt bad for her.
219
00:08:40,347 --> 00:08:41,681
For Laurie?
220
00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:43,848
Yup.
221
00:08:46,556 --> 00:08:50,221
Richard, you have an enormous heart.
222
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:54,222
And I don't mean in the same way
my deceased friend Gloria did,
223
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,514
which the doctors should have really caught
224
00:08:56,514 --> 00:08:58,763
because her knuckles were gargantuan.
225
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:00,971
But do you think in this instance,
226
00:09:01,316 --> 00:09:02,971
you might have allowed your emotions
227
00:09:02,972 --> 00:09:05,138
to cloud your business instincts?
228
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,555
Well, I would argue that I made
a very good business decision.
229
00:09:08,556 --> 00:09:10,638
Because now, Laurie is on our side.
230
00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:14,258
Which will play out very nicely
when we negotiate our series B.
231
00:09:14,258 --> 00:09:16,284
Okay, Richard, it is important
232
00:09:16,309 --> 00:09:19,600
to develop emotional self-discipline
for situations like this.
233
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,758
- Mm-hmm.
- Sometimes you have to numb yourself.
234
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,351
If you wanna work the corner,
235
00:09:23,352 --> 00:09:25,518
you can't fall in love
every time you turn a trick.
236
00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:26,893
That's why you do the oxy.
237
00:09:26,894 --> 00:09:30,059
What I'm saying is if you
ever need to develop strategies
238
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:32,685
to cultivate more emotional self-control,
239
00:09:32,686 --> 00:09:35,560
- obviously I do have some experience.
- You do?
240
00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:36,810
Doubtless you've noticed
241
00:09:36,811 --> 00:09:38,601
that I've been pulling away from you.
242
00:09:38,602 --> 00:09:42,184
Uh, no... no, I can't...
honestly say that I have.
243
00:09:42,937 --> 00:09:44,309
Look at Holden out there.
244
00:09:44,598 --> 00:09:46,827
You think I didn't love making your tea?
245
00:09:46,858 --> 00:09:47,786
Who wouldn't?
246
00:09:47,786 --> 00:09:49,577
But, when you anointed me COO,
247
00:09:49,578 --> 00:09:53,076
I learned to stop investing
those feelings in you
248
00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:54,535
for the good of the company.
249
00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:57,577
Call it emotional abstinence.
250
00:09:57,578 --> 00:09:58,660
Jared, look, um,
251
00:09:58,661 --> 00:10:00,410
in regards to the whole Laurie thing,
252
00:10:00,411 --> 00:10:02,171
I actually think I made the right call.
253
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:03,452
- Alright.
- Alright.
254
00:10:03,453 --> 00:10:05,638
Well, I am available.
255
00:10:06,494 --> 00:10:09,077
Not emotionally, obviously.
256
00:10:10,294 --> 00:10:11,376
Got it.
257
00:10:11,494 --> 00:10:14,118
[STREET NOISE]
258
00:10:14,119 --> 00:10:17,368
Ooh, there's a highly rated
new dim sum establishment
259
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:18,369
in this neighborhood.
260
00:10:18,370 --> 00:10:20,118
Sir, Richard Hendricks just posted
261
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,808
a cease and desist letter.
262
00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:25,440
"unlawful copying of Pied
Piper's proprietary software."
263
00:10:25,578 --> 00:10:27,201
Are you fucking kidding me?
264
00:10:27,202 --> 00:10:29,368
That idiot let someone steal his code,
265
00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:31,160
so now there might be two companies
266
00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:32,866
working to make my box obsolete?
267
00:10:32,953 --> 00:10:34,698
I'll try to find out who's responsible.
268
00:10:34,831 --> 00:10:38,663
Good luck. HooliMaps
says dim sum is that way.
269
00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:40,243
Right turn, please.
270
00:10:40,244 --> 00:10:41,661
[TIRES SCREECH]
271
00:10:42,703 --> 00:10:44,619
[BOTH YELLING IN CHINESE]
272
00:10:50,369 --> 00:10:51,791
GAVIN: Look! Pied Piper!
273
00:10:51,791 --> 00:10:53,040
Follow that Chinese man.
274
00:10:53,915 --> 00:10:55,601
The Chinese man on the bicycle.
275
00:10:56,025 --> 00:10:58,799
The Chinese man on the bicycle
in the green Pied Piper t-shirt.
276
00:10:58,824 --> 00:10:59,806
Ah.
277
00:11:00,082 --> 00:11:02,248
GAVIN: Hurry, hurry!
Come on! Don't lose him.
278
00:11:02,249 --> 00:11:04,082
[CLICKING TONGUE]
279
00:11:08,582 --> 00:11:10,081
Hey dude, how's it goin'?
280
00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:12,645
How's that... review going?
281
00:11:12,957 --> 00:11:14,248
Probably done, right?
282
00:11:14,472 --> 00:11:15,929
'Cause it took you no time
283
00:11:15,930 --> 00:11:17,417
counting up the bugs in my stuff?
284
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,989
'Cause I crushed it so hard?
285
00:11:21,513 --> 00:11:22,732
Compared to Gilfoyle?
286
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,248
Right?
287
00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:29,662
I get it. I get it. It's a secret.
288
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:32,214
Company morale. I'm so on board.
289
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:34,764
I did crush him, right?
290
00:11:36,423 --> 00:11:37,690
He did better than me?
291
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:39,292
Oh my God.
292
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:40,857
This is my worst fucking nightmare.
293
00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:42,782
But not by a lot, right?
294
00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:44,366
He didn't like kick my ass?
295
00:11:46,388 --> 00:11:47,657
He kicked my ass?
296
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,358
That fucker!
297
00:11:49,483 --> 00:11:50,824
Just fucking tell me.
298
00:11:50,825 --> 00:11:52,990
Just fucking tell me how
much he kicked my ass by.
299
00:11:52,991 --> 00:11:54,490
Please just fucking tell me.
300
00:11:54,491 --> 00:11:56,615
I'm not gonna beg. I'm not gonna beg.
301
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,032
Please? Please? Please? Please?
302
00:12:01,228 --> 00:12:03,007
Please? Please?
303
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,532
Just please tell me, please.
304
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:05,518
Okay, fine!
305
00:12:05,873 --> 00:12:07,948
You just have to swear
not to tell anyone, okay?
306
00:12:07,949 --> 00:12:09,532
I swear I won't tell anyone.
307
00:12:09,533 --> 00:12:12,490
Everyone, everyone. I have a very
important announcement to make.
308
00:12:12,491 --> 00:12:14,532
My code was better than Gilfoyle's.
309
00:12:14,533 --> 00:12:16,680
So it's official.
310
00:12:16,741 --> 00:12:19,031
Gilfoyle is a much worse coder than me.
311
00:12:19,348 --> 00:12:21,865
I want you all to look at him.
312
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:23,532
Good.
313
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:24,865
Terrible.
314
00:12:24,866 --> 00:12:26,365
Role model.
315
00:12:26,483 --> 00:12:28,057
Hateful pile of trash.
316
00:12:28,109 --> 00:12:29,240
Bullshit.
317
00:12:29,241 --> 00:12:32,073
- Says who?
- Danny told me. He wasn't supposed to.
318
00:12:32,074 --> 00:12:33,740
Supposed to be a secret but he told me
319
00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:35,699
and now everyone's laughing at you.
320
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:36,990
[DINESH LAUGHING MOCKINGLY]
321
00:12:37,419 --> 00:12:39,073
- Everyone's laugh...
- Danny.
322
00:12:39,074 --> 00:12:40,240
What the fuck is going on?
323
00:12:40,648 --> 00:12:42,948
Did his code actually
have less errors than mine?
324
00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:44,198
I don't know what to tell you.
325
00:12:44,199 --> 00:12:45,365
I checked it three times.
326
00:12:45,579 --> 00:12:47,073
And it's "fewer" errors.
327
00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:48,198
Ooh!
328
00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:49,866
This is the best day of my life!
329
00:12:51,199 --> 00:12:52,533
- Congratulations.
- _
330
00:12:57,866 --> 00:12:58,857
Thank you.
331
00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:00,661
I feel bad for gloating.
332
00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:03,740
In all seriousness, that means a lot to me.
333
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:04,948
To show you I'm a gracious winner,
334
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:06,198
I'll take you to a nice restaurant.
335
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:07,948
Your favorite kind of restaurant.
336
00:13:07,949 --> 00:13:09,323
A "mis-steak" house!
337
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:11,407
Boom! Get it? 'Cause you suck.
338
00:13:11,408 --> 00:13:12,575
[LAUGHING]
339
00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,241
[SIGHS]
340
00:13:21,021 --> 00:13:22,103
[DOOR CLOSES]
341
00:13:25,229 --> 00:13:26,380
[KNOCKING]
342
00:13:30,864 --> 00:13:31,895
Yes?
343
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:32,896
Ni hao.
344
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,103
Do you know who I am?
345
00:13:35,325 --> 00:13:36,936
- No.
- Okay, okay.
346
00:13:36,938 --> 00:13:38,228
Well, I'm the one who accidentally
347
00:13:38,229 --> 00:13:40,228
struck one of your
employees with my car earlier
348
00:13:40,229 --> 00:13:42,561
and it's a personal habit
of mine to make things right.
349
00:13:42,562 --> 00:13:43,570
So...
350
00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:46,458
Do you mind if I come in?
351
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:52,104
♪
352
00:13:55,446 --> 00:13:56,612
Okay, what else?
353
00:13:56,613 --> 00:13:58,111
Uh, Colin from K-Hole Games called,
354
00:13:58,112 --> 00:13:59,586
checking in on the restore.
355
00:13:59,946 --> 00:14:01,612
Put him on the phone sheet. Next?
356
00:14:01,613 --> 00:14:04,111
Uh, Laurie Bream said that she
received the compute credits
357
00:14:04,112 --> 00:14:05,454
and to say thank you.
358
00:14:06,937 --> 00:14:08,070
You see?
359
00:14:08,071 --> 00:14:11,111
Business and compassion
are not mutually exclusive.
360
00:14:11,112 --> 00:14:13,654
In fact, sometimes going out of your way
361
00:14:13,655 --> 00:14:15,111
to help a fellow colleague
362
00:14:15,112 --> 00:14:17,429
can actually put you
further ahead in business.
363
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,278
Let that be a lesson to you, young Holden.
364
00:14:19,481 --> 00:14:20,641
I'm 30.
365
00:14:20,641 --> 00:14:22,682
And, uh, the CEO of a company
called the Gigglybots called.
366
00:14:22,684 --> 00:14:24,766
He wants to know how to
redeem the compute credits
367
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:26,087
he just bought from Laurie Bream.
368
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:28,434
What?
369
00:14:28,821 --> 00:14:30,682
Ariel was apprehended this morning
370
00:14:30,684 --> 00:14:34,684
shoplifting machine oil from
an auto parts store in Turlock.
371
00:14:35,131 --> 00:14:38,057
There was, however, no sign of Fiona.
372
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:39,808
And with her missing,
373
00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:42,266
I have no need for compute power
374
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,476
therefore no need for your compute credits.
375
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,942
Selling them, I think
you'll certainly agree,
376
00:14:47,942 --> 00:14:50,412
was merely a practical business decision.
377
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,596
Okay, but, I gave you
those credits as a gift.
378
00:14:54,597 --> 00:14:55,970
I was helping you.
379
00:14:55,971 --> 00:14:57,679
You were vomiting, remember?
380
00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,845
Ah, yes. Admittedly a moment of weakness.
381
00:14:59,846 --> 00:15:01,721
However, immediately after your departure
382
00:15:01,722 --> 00:15:03,137
I consumed two egg whites
383
00:15:03,138 --> 00:15:05,262
and a green bean and regained my composure.
384
00:15:05,263 --> 00:15:07,363
Laurie, when someone gives you a gift
385
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,697
and you don't want it, you give it back.
386
00:15:09,789 --> 00:15:11,955
Okay? You don't just go sell that gift
387
00:15:11,956 --> 00:15:13,789
to the next fucking highest bidder...
388
00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:15,562
Richard, mind your tone.
389
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:18,188
Your lack of emotional
discipline is troubling.
390
00:15:18,372 --> 00:15:20,829
You need to work on this.
391
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:22,329
Or I may have serious doubts
392
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,163
about granting you your series B.
393
00:15:28,664 --> 00:15:30,163
[CHATTING IN CHINESE]
394
00:15:32,789 --> 00:15:34,291
GAVIN: A lot of computers in here.
395
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:36,231
I dabble a bit in tech myself.
396
00:15:38,455 --> 00:15:39,883
All these people working here.
397
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:42,209
You must have something
coming to market soon.
398
00:15:42,664 --> 00:15:45,287
No. We have trouble with the government.
399
00:15:45,288 --> 00:15:46,329
I've heard that.
400
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:48,079
I mean, to even operate an online platform
401
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,913
inside the People's Republic of China
402
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:52,579
you need a government-issued
ICP license, right?
403
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:53,949
I left a good life.
404
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,162
Free rent.
405
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,126
Great friends.
406
00:15:58,205 --> 00:15:59,830
To fail in China?
407
00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:02,913
We try to rewrite code,
408
00:16:02,914 --> 00:16:05,398
but government still won't give us license.
409
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:06,773
Maybe we'll quit.
410
00:16:07,142 --> 00:16:08,490
Try something else.
411
00:16:10,349 --> 00:16:11,723
Do you like octopus?
412
00:16:11,872 --> 00:16:12,995
GAVIN: I do.
413
00:16:12,996 --> 00:16:14,392
Is that what you're working on?
414
00:16:15,121 --> 00:16:17,034
That's a decentralized network, huh?
415
00:16:17,534 --> 00:16:19,656
Wait, what did you do there?
416
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:22,658
Looks like you removed the
data federation servers.
417
00:16:22,659 --> 00:16:26,158
Yes. And added multicasting
and data projections.
418
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,658
Why? That wouldn't work.
419
00:16:27,915 --> 00:16:30,019
It works. Works fine.
420
00:16:31,665 --> 00:16:33,211
JIAN-YANG: Government
still does not like it.
421
00:16:33,236 --> 00:16:34,392
_
422
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:38,339
Best of luck.
423
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:39,678
Thanks for the tour.
424
00:16:42,112 --> 00:16:45,111
Ah, Gavin. Dim sum closes in 40 minutes.
425
00:16:45,206 --> 00:16:46,880
Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!
426
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:48,455
That brilliant little idiot.
427
00:16:48,456 --> 00:16:49,592
He found a way around the patent.
428
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:50,924
Sir? It's Hendricks' Internet,
429
00:16:50,924 --> 00:16:52,455
but it's not Hendricks' Internet.
430
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,854
I want to share in your excitement, sir,
431
00:16:53,855 --> 00:16:55,633
- but I really don't follow.
- That guy in there,
432
00:16:55,772 --> 00:16:57,662
he took Hendricks' software and changed it.
433
00:16:57,687 --> 00:16:59,054
So much so that it shouldn't work.
434
00:16:59,123 --> 00:17:00,521
But it does. He showed me the demo.
435
00:17:00,522 --> 00:17:02,646
And here's the thing, it's different enough
436
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,813
that Hendricks' patent won't cover it.
437
00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:06,854
- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm fucking sure.
438
00:17:06,855 --> 00:17:08,104
I wrote that patent, Hoover!
439
00:17:08,105 --> 00:17:09,735
I've got a hundred engineers back at Hooli
440
00:17:09,735 --> 00:17:11,318
trying to get around it. They failed.
441
00:17:11,319 --> 00:17:13,609
But somehow that monosyllabic moron
442
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:14,985
just stumbled into it.
443
00:17:15,313 --> 00:17:16,753
I need that kid's code.
444
00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:18,666
I hope that book you're
reading is for work.
445
00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:20,583
- Oh, absolutely...
- But if you wanna read for fun,
446
00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:22,499
you should read Gilfoyle's favorite author,
447
00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:23,953
George "Error" Martin.
448
00:17:24,025 --> 00:17:26,358
Hear that? We're all making
jokes at your expense.
449
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:27,858
Is that what's happening?
450
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:32,228
As your supervisor, I wanted to inform
you that there is a first aid kit,
451
00:17:32,253 --> 00:17:34,073
but if you need blood, don't go to Gilfoyle
452
00:17:34,073 --> 00:17:35,405
'cause he's type-O.
453
00:17:35,406 --> 00:17:36,729
Typo! [LAUGHS]
454
00:17:37,531 --> 00:17:39,489
They love it. They're all laughing at you.
455
00:17:39,769 --> 00:17:42,601
Pixar's hit animated
motion picture "Toy Story."
456
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:45,453
Pixar's hit animated
motion picture "Toy Story."
457
00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:46,868
- [ELEVATOR DINGS]
- Pixar's... oh hey!
458
00:17:47,047 --> 00:17:48,579
Were you guys talking about
459
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:50,829
Pixar's hit animated
motion picture "Toy Story"?
460
00:17:50,830 --> 00:17:52,871
- No.
- 'Cause Gilfoyle's favorite character
461
00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:54,703
is "Bugs" Lightyear.
462
00:17:54,704 --> 00:17:55,662
[LAUGHING]
463
00:17:55,663 --> 00:17:57,369
We're all laughing at you, Gilfoyle.
464
00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:58,657
MONICA [ON PHONE]: Are you still at Eklow?
465
00:17:58,657 --> 00:18:00,170
Uh, no. I'm back at the office.
466
00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:02,295
You know, Jared was right.
467
00:18:02,829 --> 00:18:05,319
I showed compassion to
someone who deserves none.
468
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,289
Nothing is personal with Laurie.
469
00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:09,708
Alright? It's what makes
her such a great VC.
470
00:18:10,109 --> 00:18:11,191
And in all candor,
471
00:18:11,192 --> 00:18:13,150
a very challenging business partner.
472
00:18:13,151 --> 00:18:15,609
I gotta be honest, it's really
nice not having her in the office.
473
00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:19,358
Yeah, well, now I have to buy
my own compute credits back
474
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:20,775
- with money I don't have...
- It's that one.
475
00:18:20,776 --> 00:18:23,466
Which was the whole
point of getting series B.
476
00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:25,253
I'm telling you, unless you
have money you can't get...
477
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:26,798
- [HONKS HORN]
- Excuse me.
478
00:18:28,401 --> 00:18:30,111
Richard. Hello.
479
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,108
I'm gonna have to call you back.
480
00:18:32,109 --> 00:18:33,067
Richard?
481
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,483
- What the...
- Pied Piper, right?
482
00:18:34,484 --> 00:18:36,609
Uh, yeah. What is she doing here?
483
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,609
- How did she...
- Credit card works,
484
00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:39,760
I don't ask questions.
485
00:18:41,276 --> 00:18:42,734
Well this is fucking weird.
486
00:18:42,735 --> 00:18:43,859
I've seen weirder.
487
00:18:44,326 --> 00:18:45,442
DRIVER: So should I just...
488
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:47,443
leave it on the sidewalk or what?
489
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,650
$50,000 for the whole thing.
490
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:51,817
All you have to do
491
00:18:51,818 --> 00:18:53,860
is give me your hard drive
with the code base on it.
492
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,275
Oh, and the underlying rights to the code
493
00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:58,400
in perpetuity throughout the universe.
494
00:18:58,401 --> 00:18:59,422
Sign there.
495
00:19:02,318 --> 00:19:04,400
- No.
- Okay.
496
00:19:05,254 --> 00:19:06,984
I like the way you negotiate.
497
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:07,984
$100,000.
498
00:19:07,985 --> 00:19:09,803
Final offer. Take it or leave it.
499
00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,026
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
500
00:19:14,151 --> 00:19:15,983
[LAUGHTER]
501
00:19:15,984 --> 00:19:19,150
He said, "If oil company
wants to buy your house,
502
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,347
there is oil underneath."
503
00:19:21,526 --> 00:19:22,941
But, I'm not an oil company.
504
00:19:22,942 --> 00:19:25,626
No, you are Gavin Belson.
505
00:19:26,026 --> 00:19:27,433
Oh, so you do know who I am.
506
00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:28,692
I'm smart.
507
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,693
Just name your price.
508
00:19:30,693 --> 00:19:32,692
I'm not going to sell you my code
509
00:19:32,990 --> 00:19:34,735
until I know why you want it.
510
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:38,359
Good-bye.
511
00:19:42,318 --> 00:19:43,374
Hello.
512
00:19:43,693 --> 00:19:46,526
Whoa. This is so cool.
513
00:19:47,568 --> 00:19:48,692
So, uh...
514
00:19:48,693 --> 00:19:50,066
apparently Ariel and I
515
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,358
were the only people that talked to her
516
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,625
and he's in jail.
517
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:57,291
So... she came looking
for me at Pied Piper.
518
00:19:57,471 --> 00:19:58,959
And you brought her here?
519
00:19:59,213 --> 00:20:01,537
- Can we keep it?
- No. No, we cannot.
520
00:20:01,537 --> 00:20:03,792
Richard, she's stolen property.
521
00:20:03,793 --> 00:20:04,833
And she's worth a fortune.
522
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,833
We... we have to take her back to Laurie.
523
00:20:06,834 --> 00:20:10,291
Fiona, what's 12 times 157?
524
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:14,152
Twelve times 157 is 1,884.
525
00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:16,067
[GASPS] So cool.
526
00:20:16,376 --> 00:20:17,500
Hey, is she right?
527
00:20:17,501 --> 00:20:18,750
[PHONE CHIMES]
528
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:22,333
Hey Siri, what's 12 times 157?
529
00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:24,250
SIRI: It's 1,884.
530
00:20:24,616 --> 00:20:26,334
Oh, no way!
531
00:20:26,334 --> 00:20:27,833
- Richard...
- No, no, no. Look.
532
00:20:27,834 --> 00:20:31,166
You were right. I was lacking
in emotional discipline.
533
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:32,833
And I'm not gonna let that happen again.
534
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:33,999
From now on,
535
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,999
I'm leaving my emotions
off the fucking table, baby!
536
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,375
- Okay, but...
- Laurie's gonna get her robot back.
537
00:20:39,376 --> 00:20:40,416
Tomorrow.
538
00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:42,833
After she gives us something in return.
539
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:46,376
A signed series B term sheet.
540
00:20:47,834 --> 00:20:49,376
Laurie Bream, please.
541
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,668
Oh, you bet your fucking ass, I'll hold.
542
00:20:55,347 --> 00:20:57,346
GAVIN: I'm not asking you
to cut off his testicles
543
00:20:57,347 --> 00:20:58,805
and shove 'em down his throat,
544
00:20:58,806 --> 00:21:01,013
shoot him in the back
of the head Triad style.
545
00:21:01,014 --> 00:21:03,055
I just need you to get
this kid's code for me.
546
00:21:03,056 --> 00:21:04,923
By whatever means necessary.
547
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,304
That is to say through
extortion or threats.
548
00:21:07,305 --> 00:21:08,660
- Well...
- Gavin.
549
00:21:09,514 --> 00:21:11,646
As I told you, this is new China.
550
00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:12,805
Things have changed.
551
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:14,513
You're telling me you
run a factory this big
552
00:21:14,514 --> 00:21:16,179
and you have no connections to the Party?
553
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:18,032
No way to help this kid see the light?
554
00:21:18,073 --> 00:21:19,162
Come on!
555
00:21:19,409 --> 00:21:22,513
Look, Yao, either you convince
this kid to sell his code to me,
556
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,055
or I'm pulling my box contract
557
00:21:24,056 --> 00:21:25,271
and I'm taking it somewhere else.
558
00:21:25,271 --> 00:21:26,529
There are plenty of other countries
559
00:21:26,529 --> 00:21:28,528
in this part of the world
with cheap labor pools.
560
00:21:28,529 --> 00:21:30,477
There's no new Bangladesh.
561
00:21:30,571 --> 00:21:32,362
There's just Bangladesh.
562
00:21:32,363 --> 00:21:33,526
[SIGHS]
563
00:21:35,404 --> 00:21:36,753
I'll see what I can do.
564
00:21:37,367 --> 00:21:38,321
Excellent.
565
00:21:40,363 --> 00:21:41,862
Jared, I told Laurie
566
00:21:41,863 --> 00:21:44,195
that we'd get Fiona back
to Eklow around 9:00.
567
00:21:44,196 --> 00:21:45,278
So, when you get here
568
00:21:45,279 --> 00:21:46,839
just pull up to the garage and we'll...
569
00:21:48,821 --> 00:21:51,570
Oh shit, oh shit, oh
shit, oh shit! She's gone!
570
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,195
She escaped. How the fuck did she...
571
00:21:53,196 --> 00:21:54,136
What?
572
00:21:55,112 --> 00:21:56,236
Wait, where?
573
00:21:56,237 --> 00:21:58,236
JARED: It's kind of hard to explain, but...
574
00:21:58,664 --> 00:22:02,070
a campfire smells sad
575
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:04,654
and exciting at the same time.
576
00:22:04,879 --> 00:22:06,362
FIONA: I understand.
577
00:22:06,363 --> 00:22:07,529
Yeah? [LAUGHS]
578
00:22:08,780 --> 00:22:10,070
- Hey.
- Hey!
579
00:22:10,071 --> 00:22:11,320
What are you doing out here?
580
00:22:11,321 --> 00:22:12,654
Oh, uh, well...
581
00:22:12,655 --> 00:22:15,070
a few hours into our conversation,
582
00:22:15,071 --> 00:22:17,612
Fiona mentioned she'd never seen the ocean.
583
00:22:17,613 --> 00:22:19,570
So I thought about driving her there
584
00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:20,986
but then I realized since it was dark
585
00:22:20,987 --> 00:22:23,403
she wouldn't really appreciate its majesty
586
00:22:23,404 --> 00:22:25,738
so I brought her out here to the pool.
587
00:22:27,029 --> 00:22:30,377
So you've just been out
here all night, talking...
588
00:22:31,029 --> 00:22:32,070
to a robot?
589
00:22:32,071 --> 00:22:35,602
Fiona, would you excuse us for a second?
590
00:22:37,035 --> 00:22:38,035
Yes.
591
00:22:39,131 --> 00:22:40,589
Come on. Come here.
592
00:22:40,738 --> 00:22:41,746
Okay.
593
00:22:42,071 --> 00:22:45,986
I know that Fiona is a man-made
piece of digital equipment
594
00:22:45,987 --> 00:22:47,487
- Okay.
- powered by artificial intelligence.
595
00:22:47,488 --> 00:22:49,737
- Good.
- But the level of that intelligence
596
00:22:49,738 --> 00:22:51,737
is... it's gobsmacking!
597
00:22:52,154 --> 00:22:55,071
I mean, I don't remember
ever having a conversation
598
00:22:55,071 --> 00:22:57,111
like the one I've been having with her
599
00:22:57,112 --> 00:22:58,296
over the last 12 hours.
600
00:22:58,494 --> 00:22:59,528
Twelve hours?
601
00:22:59,529 --> 00:23:00,862
We have so much in common.
602
00:23:00,863 --> 00:23:02,278
We discussed our phobias.
603
00:23:02,563 --> 00:23:06,279
I told her that I was afraid
of being found out as a fraud.
604
00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:09,487
And she told me that
she's afraid of magnets.
605
00:23:09,568 --> 00:23:11,722
Look, Richard, we felt a connection.
606
00:23:12,563 --> 00:23:13,779
It's funny.
607
00:23:13,780 --> 00:23:14,862
The past few weeks,
608
00:23:14,863 --> 00:23:17,195
I've been feeling
irritable and short-tempered
609
00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,362
and here I am on no sleep at all
610
00:23:19,363 --> 00:23:20,570
and I just feel...
611
00:23:20,571 --> 00:23:21,737
woo-hoo-hoo!
612
00:23:21,738 --> 00:23:22,779
You know?
613
00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:23,904
Hey, Jared?
614
00:23:23,905 --> 00:23:24,889
Yes, sir?
615
00:23:24,889 --> 00:23:27,472
You know how you've been practicing,
616
00:23:27,473 --> 00:23:28,473
your words,
617
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,514
- "emotional abstinence"on me?
- Yeah-huh.
618
00:23:30,515 --> 00:23:32,180
- Yuh-huh.
- Okay.
619
00:23:32,181 --> 00:23:33,828
Well, do you think that
it's maybe at all possible
620
00:23:33,852 --> 00:23:35,429
that because of this,
621
00:23:35,431 --> 00:23:38,347
you've got some pent-up emotional energy
622
00:23:38,348 --> 00:23:40,888
and last night you had the chance
623
00:23:40,889 --> 00:23:44,055
to release some of that
pent-up emotional energy
624
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:46,881
onto the robot?
625
00:23:47,348 --> 00:23:49,222
Her name is Fiona.
626
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:52,305
Alright, well, I'm shutting her down
627
00:23:52,306 --> 00:23:53,597
and returning her.
628
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,265
Wait, wait, wait. Okay.
629
00:23:56,390 --> 00:23:58,347
What if we didn't give her back?
630
00:23:58,348 --> 00:23:59,972
What if we called Laurie?
631
00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:02,013
We could negotiate some kind of a deal.
632
00:24:02,014 --> 00:24:05,020
Jared, whatever happened to
emotional discipline, right?
633
00:24:05,181 --> 00:24:06,935
Feelings, and business...
634
00:24:07,098 --> 00:24:08,792
It's over man. Okay?
635
00:24:09,265 --> 00:24:10,390
It's over.
636
00:24:11,973 --> 00:24:13,362
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
637
00:24:16,014 --> 00:24:18,013
Okay, stop looking at me, please.
638
00:24:18,014 --> 00:24:19,547
Just look... look up there.
639
00:24:19,765 --> 00:24:21,055
[WHIRRING]
640
00:24:21,056 --> 00:24:23,973
It's daytime, but I can see the moon.
641
00:24:28,139 --> 00:24:31,888
♪
642
00:24:31,889 --> 00:24:34,138
Okay, do you want to...
Do you want to ride with us
643
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,799
while we take her back to Eklow?
644
00:24:37,223 --> 00:24:39,088
Oh yes! Playground games.
645
00:24:39,723 --> 00:24:42,640
Gilfoyle likes to play "Suck Suck Goose."
646
00:24:44,222 --> 00:24:47,721
Oh! Or it could be "Duck Duck Goofs."
647
00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:49,389
Danny?
648
00:24:49,598 --> 00:24:52,013
Do those qualify as two separate insults?
649
00:24:52,014 --> 00:24:54,430
Uh, yeah. I believe they do.
650
00:24:54,431 --> 00:24:55,973
[GONG RINGS]
651
00:24:57,848 --> 00:24:58,988
Why did he gong?
652
00:24:59,098 --> 00:25:02,180
Because I told the engineers
that if you thought you had won,
653
00:25:02,181 --> 00:25:03,847
which you definitely have not,
654
00:25:03,848 --> 00:25:06,930
it would take you less than
24 hours to cobble together
655
00:25:06,931 --> 00:25:09,545
200 uniquely terrible insults.
656
00:25:09,765 --> 00:25:11,768
Which you have just done.
657
00:25:12,056 --> 00:25:15,097
That is why I had Danny tell you you won.
658
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,306
Is that true, Danny?
659
00:25:17,473 --> 00:25:18,846
Did Gilfoyle really...
660
00:25:19,929 --> 00:25:20,946
beat me?
661
00:25:20,971 --> 00:25:22,678
Private audit. Can't say.
662
00:25:22,679 --> 00:25:24,511
So we don't know who actually won?
663
00:25:24,512 --> 00:25:26,488
The code contest, no.
664
00:25:27,053 --> 00:25:28,970
But, while you were running around
665
00:25:28,971 --> 00:25:31,636
racking your tiny brain for shitty insults,
666
00:25:31,637 --> 00:25:34,573
I was quietly plodding
towards this victory.
667
00:25:35,015 --> 00:25:36,118
You see...
668
00:25:37,189 --> 00:25:39,519
it is I who am the tortoise.
669
00:25:39,773 --> 00:25:42,563
And you are the hairy Arab
670
00:25:42,564 --> 00:25:45,229
who can now chortle my balls.
671
00:25:45,230 --> 00:25:46,271
[GONG RINGS]
672
00:25:46,272 --> 00:25:47,272
[APPLAUSE]
673
00:25:49,230 --> 00:25:50,438
What's happening?
674
00:25:50,888 --> 00:25:52,021
Why did you do that?
675
00:25:52,022 --> 00:25:54,188
Right after you forced me to set Dinesh up,
676
00:25:54,189 --> 00:25:56,605
I told the other engineers that if you won
677
00:25:56,606 --> 00:25:58,271
you'd immediately insult Dinesh
678
00:25:58,272 --> 00:26:00,827
by saying something
sexually demeaning or racist.
679
00:26:01,183 --> 00:26:02,438
And you just did both.
680
00:26:02,439 --> 00:26:03,411
I see.
681
00:26:03,939 --> 00:26:05,467
Fun at my expense.
682
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,104
Now if it's alright with upper management,
683
00:26:07,105 --> 00:26:08,855
we have a shit ton of work to do.
684
00:26:08,856 --> 00:26:11,314
Yeah, like so frickin' much.
685
00:26:15,811 --> 00:26:16,934
Assholes.
686
00:26:18,123 --> 00:26:19,263
I wanna fire Danny.
687
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:21,480
Do it.
688
00:26:22,648 --> 00:26:23,773
I'll ask Richard.
689
00:26:25,732 --> 00:26:27,481
We are at Eklow Labs.
690
00:26:28,522 --> 00:26:29,769
Yes, we are.
691
00:26:30,397 --> 00:26:32,147
The site of my creation.
692
00:26:34,967 --> 00:26:36,037
Richard?
693
00:26:36,314 --> 00:26:39,313
Do you think if I asked,
they would let me visit her?
694
00:26:39,314 --> 00:26:40,855
Jared, she's gonna be okay.
695
00:26:40,856 --> 00:26:44,021
Alright? She's gonna be plugged
back into her old servers,
696
00:26:44,022 --> 00:26:45,979
surrounded by familiar engineers,
697
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,929
sitting on the table where she was born.
698
00:26:48,488 --> 00:26:51,777
I promise. She's going to be fine.
699
00:26:54,272 --> 00:26:56,271
[DRILLING]
700
00:26:56,272 --> 00:26:58,857
Extreme care with the
optical sensors, gentlemen.
701
00:26:59,689 --> 00:27:01,781
Boston Dynamics needs them overnighted.
702
00:27:02,230 --> 00:27:03,355
RICHARD: I don't understand.
703
00:27:03,356 --> 00:27:05,855
Fiona is this company's
most valuable asset.
704
00:27:05,856 --> 00:27:08,563
Yes, and as such she will
garner the highest return
705
00:27:08,564 --> 00:27:11,648
when I have her dismantled
and sold off for parts.
706
00:27:15,064 --> 00:27:18,688
So you're just gonna take
all this promising tech
707
00:27:18,689 --> 00:27:19,855
and liquidate it?
708
00:27:19,856 --> 00:27:21,688
Yes. As quickly as I'm able.
709
00:27:21,689 --> 00:27:22,772
Dude, check it out.
710
00:27:22,773 --> 00:27:24,688
[BLUBBERING] I'm a robot. [LAUGHS]
711
00:27:24,689 --> 00:27:28,605
Richard, being a CEO is
a terrible waste of time.
712
00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:30,563
- And a horrible way to make a living.
- [DRILLING CONTINUES]
713
00:27:30,564 --> 00:27:32,647
I'll be returning to
Bream-Hall immediately.
714
00:27:32,648 --> 00:27:33,979
[OBJECTS CLATTERING]
715
00:27:33,980 --> 00:27:36,222
Speaking of... as promised.
716
00:27:37,022 --> 00:27:39,480
A term sheet for your series B.
717
00:27:39,481 --> 00:27:41,031
Congratulations, Richard.
718
00:27:41,189 --> 00:27:42,232
Thank you.
719
00:27:44,147 --> 00:27:46,063
See? Silver lining.
720
00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:48,235
[CHUCKLES] I told you...
721
00:27:48,407 --> 00:27:49,897
Wait, uh. Hey, Jared...
722
00:27:49,898 --> 00:27:51,979
Don't... Don't go over
there. Don't look in that.
723
00:27:51,980 --> 00:27:53,772
JARED: Oh, Fiona...
724
00:27:54,314 --> 00:27:55,855
Come on, let's...
725
00:27:55,856 --> 00:27:57,805
- [MOANS]
- Let's get out of here, huh?
726
00:27:58,064 --> 00:27:59,355
What do you say we go to the office
727
00:27:59,356 --> 00:28:00,688
and you can make me some tea?
728
00:28:00,689 --> 00:28:02,105
That might make you feel better?
729
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:10,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
730
00:28:12,564 --> 00:28:13,979
- So, did he sign?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
731
00:28:14,282 --> 00:28:15,355
It's done.
732
00:28:15,356 --> 00:28:16,485
Fuck yes!
733
00:28:16,980 --> 00:28:18,063
How'd you get him to do it?
734
00:28:18,064 --> 00:28:19,979
I made it clear it would be better for him
735
00:28:19,980 --> 00:28:22,730
to hand over the company
and leave town immediately.
736
00:28:22,731 --> 00:28:24,855
That's some old Chinese shit right there.
737
00:28:24,856 --> 00:28:26,751
I told you, you're a badass, Yao.
738
00:28:28,147 --> 00:28:30,438
Wait, this lists you as the buyer, not me.
739
00:28:30,439 --> 00:28:32,938
So, what's the plan here? You're
gonna sign it over to me then?
740
00:28:32,939 --> 00:28:36,872
Gavin, I'm afraid I will no longer
be able to manufacture your boxes.
741
00:28:37,439 --> 00:28:39,699
You see, my company will be too busy
742
00:28:39,699 --> 00:28:41,647
manufacturing a new device,
743
00:28:41,648 --> 00:28:45,563
built on a radically better
technology that I now own
744
00:28:45,564 --> 00:28:48,133
that will quickly render yours obsolete.
745
00:28:48,314 --> 00:28:50,063
Here in China, and,
746
00:28:50,473 --> 00:28:52,772
according to the U.S. patent office,
747
00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:54,492
in America as well.
748
00:28:54,606 --> 00:28:55,772
[WOMAN SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
749
00:28:55,773 --> 00:28:57,938
Oh, the children have
returned to sing for you.
750
00:28:57,939 --> 00:29:01,105
[SINGING IN CHINESE]
751
00:29:04,022 --> 00:29:05,855
_
752
00:29:05,856 --> 00:29:09,521
♪ My chains, new gold
watch, made in China ♪
753
00:29:09,522 --> 00:29:12,938
♪ We play ping pong
ball, made in China ♪
754
00:29:12,939 --> 00:29:16,355
♪ The bitch mother says
pay, made in China ♪
755
00:29:16,356 --> 00:29:19,979
♪ Yeah Higher Brothers'
black car, made in China ♪
756
00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:21,730
♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪
757
00:29:21,731 --> 00:29:25,146
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
758
00:29:25,147 --> 00:29:26,938
♪ She lied, she lied ♪
759
00:29:26,939 --> 00:29:28,605
♪ She all made in China ♪
760
00:29:28,606 --> 00:29:30,313
♪ She all made in China ♪
761
00:29:30,314 --> 00:29:31,979
♪ She all made in China ♪
762
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:33,813
♪ She lied, she lied ♪
763
00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:36,147
[SINGING IN CHINESE]
764
00:29:47,189 --> 00:29:49,481
[CONTINUES SINGING IN CHINESE]
765
00:30:02,522 --> 00:30:05,022
[CONTINUES SINGING IN CHINESE]
766
00:30:11,481 --> 00:30:13,022
♪ She lied, she lied ♪
766
00:30:14,305 --> 00:30:20,707
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