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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,010 --> 00:00:39,446 When Judy Benjamin was 8, she told her best friend her life's desire. 2 00:00:39,690 --> 00:00:42,329 ''All l want,'' Judy whispered, ''is a big house... 3 00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:46,245 ...nice clothes, a maid and a professional man for a husband. '' 4 00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:48,720 Today, all of Judy's dreams come true. 5 00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:52,282 With this ring be thou consecrated unto me as my wife. 6 00:00:52,570 --> 00:00:55,038 According to the law of Moses and faith of lsrael. 7 00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:57,964 According to the law of Moses and faith of lsrael. 8 00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:01,043 And you, Judy, say to Yale these words. 9 00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:02,643 Take the ring. 10 00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:08,362 This ring is a symbol that you are my husband. 11 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,885 This ring is a symbol that you are my husband. 12 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,200 And a sign of my love and devotion. 13 00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:15,247 And a sign of my love and devotion. 14 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:17,727 ln the presence of these witnesses... 15 00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:20,165 ...you spoke words and performed the rites... 16 00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:22,446 ...which unite your lives. 17 00:01:22,690 --> 00:01:25,079 l therefore declare you, Yale and Judy... 18 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:27,480 ...husband and wife. 19 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:30,204 Step on it. 20 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:33,960 Mazel tov ! 21 00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:48,602 PRlVATE BENJAMlN 22 00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:24,363 But I only have eyes 23 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,201 For you 24 00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:30,244 Judy Goodman 25 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:31,879 Do you have a date? 26 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:35,839 No, l told your Uncle Phil l'd meet him to look at his lease. 27 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:39,048 - You're not going to work now? - No, l'm not going to work. 28 00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:42,168 He thinks he's getting evicted. Let me just talk to him. 29 00:03:42,410 --> 00:03:43,638 Okay? 30 00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:47,208 - Thanks for marrying me. - You're welcome. 31 00:03:48,290 --> 00:03:50,042 Get me a Perrier with a twist? 32 00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:59,449 - Arnie! - So you did it, huh? 33 00:04:00,730 --> 00:04:03,085 l can't believe you married Goodman... 34 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,127 ...when you could've had me. 35 00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:07,680 l could have lived with you, Arnie. 36 00:04:07,970 --> 00:04:09,722 Big difference. 37 00:04:12,290 --> 00:04:13,359 Judy! 38 00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:18,359 Look who l found! Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer. 39 00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:22,683 l didn't recognize you without nails in your mouth. 40 00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:27,206 l brought a little something l think you're going to love. 41 00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:38,807 Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman! 42 00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:41,439 Yale will be thrilled. 43 00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:45,043 Wait a minute! ls this mushroom piping? 44 00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:48,043 Looks beige-y to me, Ma. This isn't the right color, is it? 45 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:49,359 Ben... 46 00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,407 ...what happened to the mushroom? 47 00:04:51,650 --> 00:04:55,086 That's as close as you're going to get to mushroom in Philadelphia. 48 00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:58,163 Mr. Waxman, we've been through this a zillion times. 49 00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:01,402 l told you l'm doing Yale's study in mushroom. 50 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:05,521 l'm sure you could've found a yard of mushroom fabric. 51 00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:09,165 You want it, l'll get it. 52 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,640 This is your night! 53 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:14,958 Wheels?! 54 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:17,644 Mr. Waxman, l wanted upholstered balls. 55 00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,481 Upholstered balls? 56 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:33,887 - Come on, Peanut. - Where're we going? 57 00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:36,007 - My feet hurt. - Your feet will be fine. 58 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:37,478 l just want to talk to you. 59 00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:47,960 What? Want a divorce already? 60 00:05:48,210 --> 00:05:50,246 Darling, l have a very bad headache. 61 00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:54,483 No wonder, you've danced all night. l'll get some Tylenol from Mom. 62 00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:55,646 Sweetheart... 63 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:57,926 ...it's not a Tylenol headache. 64 00:05:58,850 --> 00:06:00,488 - Honey! - Please? 65 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:03,728 - Honey, not here! - Please, why not? Come on! 66 00:06:03,970 --> 00:06:06,643 Why? Because everybody l know is ten feet away. 67 00:06:06,890 --> 00:06:09,962 - They're having a good time. Please? - No, l'll ruin my dress. 68 00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:13,725 - Your dress is fine. Come on! - Honey, please? l don't want to. 69 00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:19,122 Kiss me first. 70 00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:35,643 l love you so much. 71 00:06:35,890 --> 00:06:37,209 Hi, Yale. 72 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:41,608 Judy's always been a good girl. Always! 73 00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:44,279 She made a mistake with the first husband. 74 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:48,443 That's ancient history. The smartest thing she ever did was to marry you. 75 00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:49,520 That's nice, Teddy. 76 00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:52,000 lt's very important for a father to know... 77 00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:55,481 ...his daughter's going to be well taken care of. Don't laugh! 78 00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:58,842 You'll know what l mean when your daughter gets married. 79 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,887 Anyway, that's number one. 80 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,404 Number two! 81 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,362 We'll still have Sunday breakfasts? 82 00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:06,322 - Of course, Daddy. - Good. 83 00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:08,879 You can get the whitefish on your way over. 84 00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:13,289 l want to give you two a little something from mother and me... 85 00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:14,929 ...a little extra happiness. 86 00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:20,449 l guess it's not carpeting for the living room. 87 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:26,685 That's for the future, not Lord and Taylor, you little jerk! 88 00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:32,200 Teddy, you're amazing! 89 00:07:32,450 --> 00:07:35,522 lt's my pleasure. Just use it in good health. 90 00:07:35,770 --> 00:07:37,123 Thanks, Mom. 91 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,446 l'll show my mother, she'll go crazy! 92 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:41,848 l can't believe it! 93 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:45,682 Jude, get me a cigarette. 94 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:52,404 Coming back inside, Daddy? 95 00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:55,643 l just want to see the recap of tonight's game. 96 00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:58,162 Should l wait for you here? 97 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:03,924 Dad? 98 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,047 Get me a match, doll. 99 00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:23,485 Jerry, if you call her you'll screw it up. That's my job, all right? 100 00:08:23,730 --> 00:08:24,560 No, to call her. 101 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:28,769 How long you married? Anything more than 15 years, you lose the house. 102 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,769 lt's not my rule, that's just the way it is. 103 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,922 Keep the boat, it's a male item. 104 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:38,925 Prenups is the only way to get around this and it's too late. 105 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:42,000 Give her the microwave, it's a built-in! 106 00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,163 lt comes with the house. What'll you do with one oven? 107 00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:48,446 lt's late now. 6:30 a.m. Monday... 108 00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:52,319 ...we'll play racquetball. We'll figure it out then. Can you wait? 109 00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,800 We'll be in Jamaica 6:30 Monday. 110 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,642 l'll be on my honeymoon Monday. 111 00:08:56,890 --> 00:08:58,528 l'll call you from Jamaica. 112 00:08:58,770 --> 00:09:00,442 l don't know, from the hotel. 113 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:04,129 No, you'll be halved at worst. You're okay. 114 00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:06,049 Prenups, babe! 115 00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:11,758 - That'll never happen to us. - l know. 116 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:15,839 - Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous? - This ass is gorgeous. 117 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,523 Come here. 118 00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:21,766 - What? - Wait, honey. 119 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:23,843 Wait just one second. 120 00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:26,399 - Lift your back leg. - l don't have a back leg. 121 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:31,121 lt's our wedding night. lt's not real romantic making love in the sink. 122 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:34,601 - lt's romantic making love anywhere. - l know. l love you. 123 00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:39,002 - Let's go into the bedroom. - We're going into the bedroom next. 124 00:09:39,890 --> 00:09:42,006 Just here. Good, sweetie! 125 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:43,799 Honey, good! 126 00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:48,120 You're on my hair, get off my hair. 127 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:50,365 How's that? 128 00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:02,520 - Oh, honey! - What? 129 00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,481 - Oh, sweetie! - What? 130 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:09,639 l'm coming! 131 00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:23,726 Why don't we go and get in bed? 132 00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:43,882 Oh, God, full of compassion, thou who dwellest on high. 133 00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:47,999 Grant perfect rest unto the soul of Yale Goodman... 134 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,445 ...who has departed from this world. 135 00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:53,609 Lord of mercy, bring him into Thy presence... 136 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:58,605 ...and let his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. 137 00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:00,998 Amen. 138 00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:03,802 l can't try to console you... 139 00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:06,564 ...by saying there is any justice in this world. 140 00:11:06,810 --> 00:11:09,085 Just be thankful for the friendship... 141 00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:13,289 ...and tenderness you and Yale had the opportunity to share. 142 00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:19,565 My philosophy of life has gotten me through some very rough times. 143 00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:21,847 Let me share it with you. 144 00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:26,207 Que ser� ser�. 145 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:29,205 l got it from the song. 146 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:41,564 Judith? 147 00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:45,122 Just one thing. 148 00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,447 lf you can remember... 149 00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:51,445 ...what were Yale's last words? 150 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:55,887 ''l'm coming. '' 151 00:11:58,130 --> 00:12:00,007 l know you don't want to hear this... 152 00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:04,247 ...but you got to get right back into circulation. 153 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:08,119 When you fall off the horse, you got to climb right back on. 154 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:10,645 Aunt Kissy, please! 155 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:14,404 Could l be alone now? 156 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,489 l'm sorry. 157 00:12:22,970 --> 00:12:24,005 She wants to be alone. 158 00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,241 She wants to be alone. 159 00:12:26,890 --> 00:12:30,007 She doesn't want to live in their place. l can't blame her. 160 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:34,528 - Sell everything and buy her new. - Buy her new? She'll live with us. 161 00:12:34,810 --> 00:12:38,166 - What if she doesn't want to? - She doesn't know what she wants. 162 00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:41,641 And what's she going to do now? Be my secretary again? 163 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:46,367 The girl's 29 years old and trained to do nothing. 164 00:12:46,770 --> 00:12:48,442 l'm 28. 165 00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,481 Look what we got! 166 00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:37,120 I've never not belonged to somebody. 167 00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:38,405 Never. 168 00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:41,562 My first boyfriend was in nursery school. I was two... 169 00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:43,607 ...and he was three and since then... 170 00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:47,923 ...I've been pinned, lavaliered, engaged... 171 00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,281 ...married twice. 172 00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:53,800 The first time, l was twenty. 173 00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,849 See, l've been in this room eight days... 174 00:13:58,090 --> 00:14:02,641 ...and it's really the first eight days l've ever been alone in my life. 175 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,089 lf l'm not going to be married... 176 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:08,720 ...l don't know what l'm supposed to do with myself. 177 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:13,048 Did you happen to see that movie Unmarried Woman ? 178 00:14:14,410 --> 00:14:16,287 Well, l didn't get it. 179 00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:19,078 l would've been Mrs. Alan Bates so fast... 180 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:21,639 ...that guy wouldn't have known what hit him. 181 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,320 The thing is, and then l'll shut up... 182 00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:29,643 ...l haven't done anything wrong. 183 00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:32,882 And l feel like l'm being punished! 184 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:37,963 l thought l'd be filling up my freezer... 185 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:42,726 ...and be getting this new pine sideboard that l ordered and.... 186 00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,441 Jessica, I do hate... 187 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:55,648 ... to stop your free association, but our switchboard's flooded. 188 00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:59,680 So set your phone down and turn your radio up, okay? 189 00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,522 Hello, Night Owl, you're on the air. 190 00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:05,567 You lucked out. I read in the Enquirer this morning... 191 00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:07,323 ... that marriage causes cancer. 192 00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:09,765 Philadelphia Night Owl, you're on the air. 193 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:13,161 About that Palestinian homeland. In your Bible you'll see... 194 00:15:13,410 --> 00:15:16,083 ... that the Arabs had first dibs on the West Bank. 195 00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:17,445 Not tonight, Del, thanks. 196 00:15:17,690 --> 00:15:19,760 Line 4, have you got advice for Jessica? 197 00:15:20,010 --> 00:15:22,001 Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica. 198 00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:23,245 My name is Jim. 199 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,606 First let me say how terribly sorry I am... 200 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:27,846 ...about your misfortune. 201 00:15:28,090 --> 00:15:31,799 And nobody knows better than you that things can 't get much worse. 202 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:35,886 It's also pretty obvious that you need guidance, security... 203 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:39,918 ...good friends and a healthy dose of self-confidence, Jessica. 204 00:15:41,290 --> 00:15:45,078 What I'm saying is, I think I can help you find a new life. 205 00:16:07,890 --> 00:16:09,687 - Are you Jessica? - Jim? 206 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:11,124 Yeah, hi. 207 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,443 Am l late or you early? 208 00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,601 l'm just a few hours early. 209 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,044 Come on. 210 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,125 l should tell you, my name is really Judy. 211 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:27,680 l just didn't want anybody l knew to hear me on the radio. 212 00:16:27,930 --> 00:16:30,239 - Macht nichts. - What? 213 00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:33,210 lt means, ''lt makes no difference'' in German. 214 00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:35,720 l was stationed over there for 26 months. 215 00:16:35,970 --> 00:16:38,404 UNlTED STATES ARMY RECRUlTlNG STATlON 216 00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:40,888 What does that look like to you? 217 00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:42,723 What? Club Med? 218 00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:46,408 lt's the Fort Ord Army Base in Monterey, California. 219 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,882 Those look like condos. 220 00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:53,769 And every soldier gets his or her own private room. 221 00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:55,518 What are these, yachts? 222 00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:59,488 The Army is the best-kept secret in the world, Judy. 223 00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:02,563 Looks great, but you don't know me. 224 00:17:02,810 --> 00:17:04,687 l'm not the Army type. 225 00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:07,364 Forget that old brown boot image of the Army. 226 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:11,808 lt's the 80s Army, all the ladies love it. All 89,000 of them. 227 00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,485 Check out this list of jobs. 228 00:17:14,770 --> 00:17:19,002 There's over 300 jobs, and only a couple of them not offered to ladies. 229 00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:21,366 Trained killers, stuff like that. 230 00:17:22,130 --> 00:17:24,963 - How much do you earn per month now? - Now? 231 00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:26,840 Nothing. 232 00:17:27,090 --> 00:17:28,318 Nothing? 233 00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:33,804 Thanks. 234 00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:36,763 What are you thinking? 235 00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:41,687 l'm thinking about... 236 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,241 ...my family... 237 00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,561 ...and my house... 238 00:17:49,210 --> 00:17:51,770 ...and all the gifts l have to return. 239 00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:59,406 You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of responsibilities and decisions now. 240 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:04,565 l'm prepared to offer you $458 a month, train you in the job of your choice... 241 00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:07,729 ...pay for your food, your housing, all your medical... 242 00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:11,519 ...and give you a 30-day paid vacation. l'll tell you something... 243 00:18:11,770 --> 00:18:13,647 ...with your education and background... 244 00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:16,404 ...you could easily land an assignment in Europe. 245 00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:17,924 Europe? 246 00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:21,038 l do need to get away. 247 00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:24,760 l promise, you'll be in the best physical shape you've ever been in. 248 00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:28,324 lt will be like 3 years at La Costa. 249 00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,127 La Costa. That's good! 250 00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,920 What if l hate it once l get there? 251 00:18:37,170 --> 00:18:38,159 Quit. 252 00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:40,440 lt's a job, like anything else. 253 00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:49,520 l.... 254 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,039 State your full name. 255 00:18:52,490 --> 00:18:54,481 Do solemnly swear or affirm... 256 00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:57,847 ...l will support and defend... 257 00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:01,525 ...the Constitution of the United States... 258 00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:06,204 ...from all enemies, foreign and domestic. 259 00:19:07,930 --> 00:19:10,364 That l will bear true faith and allegiance... 260 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:12,760 ...to the same... 261 00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:15,887 ...and will obey the orders... 262 00:19:17,410 --> 00:19:19,605 ...of the President of the United States... 263 00:19:21,130 --> 00:19:23,690 ...and the orders of the officers over me... 264 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,648 ...according to regulations. 265 00:19:35,330 --> 00:19:36,558 All right. 266 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,360 My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross. 267 00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:44,523 And l'll be your drill sergeant for your 6 weeks basic training. 268 00:19:44,890 --> 00:19:47,723 My job is to turn you lovely ladies and gentlemen... 269 00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:49,961 ...into United States soldiers. 270 00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:53,886 The first thing we'll do is put you through your in-processing. 271 00:19:54,130 --> 00:19:58,726 While you are waiting in line for your processing, you will not, l repeat... 272 00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:02,326 ...you will not be flapping your lips. 273 00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:05,204 You'll be filling out these forms. 274 00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:10,119 l'm going to call out your names and l want you to line up behind me. 275 00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:14,560 Abbott. 276 00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:15,879 Barnett. 277 00:20:17,330 --> 00:20:18,524 Benjamin. 278 00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:20,799 Benjamin! 279 00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:22,244 - Sir. - Fall in, Benjamin. 280 00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:23,605 l'm Private Winter... 281 00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:27,559 ...but l think l can be of assistance in locating Private Benjamin. 282 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:29,365 Sir. 283 00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:42,760 - Are we at the fort? - Yes we are. 284 00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:45,046 Time to wake up now. 285 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,280 ln a sec. 286 00:20:47,610 --> 00:20:49,328 Get your ass up and out on the company street! 287 00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:55,204 l never! 288 00:20:55,450 --> 00:20:57,566 Give me 10 pushups! Knock them out! 289 00:20:57,810 --> 00:20:59,846 You mind if l check into my room first? 290 00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:02,200 Assume the position and hit it! 291 00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,565 Now! 292 00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:15,203 Up! Down! 293 00:21:19,730 --> 00:21:21,288 What is this, hell week? 294 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,519 No, Benjamin... 295 00:21:22,770 --> 00:21:24,601 ...this is the Army! 296 00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:36,247 Excuse me, sir, is green the only color these come in? 297 00:21:37,810 --> 00:21:40,882 Close it up back there, you meatheads. Go! 298 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,480 Pick it up! Pick it up! Close it up! 299 00:21:43,730 --> 00:21:46,767 Close up that field back there! Come on, move it! 300 00:21:48,290 --> 00:21:50,360 Where are the yachts? 301 00:21:57,810 --> 00:22:00,882 - Excuse me, are you a reporter? - Who, me? 302 00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:02,440 No. 303 00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:06,566 l joined up, but l'm not staying. There's been a mistake. 304 00:22:06,810 --> 00:22:08,801 l'll straighten it out when the manager gets here. 305 00:22:09,050 --> 00:22:12,008 Man on the floor! ln front of your cots at attention! 306 00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:18,960 Barracks ready for inspection, Captain. 307 00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:32,960 What's the matter, honey? Are you a crybaby? 308 00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:34,040 No, sir. 309 00:22:34,290 --> 00:22:35,279 Ma'am! 310 00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:41,963 l know how all you ladies drool over this... 311 00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:44,678 ...this Fonzie character... 312 00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:46,284 ...but not in my outfit. 313 00:22:46,530 --> 00:22:47,406 Burn it. 314 00:22:59,330 --> 00:23:01,639 - Your name, soldier? - Private Winter, ma'am. 315 00:23:13,410 --> 00:23:16,243 Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding. 316 00:23:16,890 --> 00:23:18,005 Ladies! 317 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:20,047 Examine Private Winter's locker. 318 00:23:20,290 --> 00:23:21,405 Learn from it. 319 00:23:23,330 --> 00:23:26,686 You keep this up and we'll talk officer's candidate school. 320 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,961 Thank you, ma'am! 321 00:23:39,810 --> 00:23:42,529 This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross. 322 00:23:42,770 --> 00:23:44,567 And neither is this face. 323 00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:47,802 And you look like a clown, soldier. Clean up your act. 324 00:23:51,770 --> 00:23:54,204 Gianelli's a 308, ma'am. 325 00:23:57,930 --> 00:24:00,444 So it was the Army or jail? 326 00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:04,688 After 6 weeks with me, you're going to wish you chose Attica. 327 00:24:04,930 --> 00:24:06,921 Don't push me, punk. 328 00:24:07,450 --> 00:24:11,921 This is the most pathetic group of trainees l have ever laid my eyes on. 329 00:24:13,770 --> 00:24:15,681 My companies are the best-trained... 330 00:24:15,930 --> 00:24:18,763 ...the best-disciplined soldiers on this base. 331 00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:25,799 l hate to interrupt you, but could l speak to you for a sec? 332 00:24:26,050 --> 00:24:29,440 My Lord! Sergeant, would you look at this! 333 00:24:29,690 --> 00:24:31,442 l've seen it, ma'am. 334 00:24:32,690 --> 00:24:34,806 What's your name, Princess? 335 00:24:35,050 --> 00:24:36,085 Judy. 336 00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:39,524 Judy Benjamin. 337 00:24:41,770 --> 00:24:44,887 l think they sent me to the wrong... 338 00:24:45,490 --> 00:24:46,923 ...place. 339 00:24:47,770 --> 00:24:52,207 You see, l did join the Army, but l joined a different Army. 340 00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:56,841 l joined the one with the condos and the private rooms. 341 00:24:59,810 --> 00:25:03,041 No, really! My recruiter, Jim Ballard, told me that- 342 00:25:03,290 --> 00:25:07,078 l don't care what your lousy recruiter told you, Benjamin. 343 00:25:07,330 --> 00:25:09,400 l'm telling you, there is no other Army. 344 00:25:10,130 --> 00:25:11,404 Wait a minute. 345 00:25:11,650 --> 00:25:14,039 l don't want to have to go to your boss, okay? 346 00:25:16,530 --> 00:25:21,081 To be truthful with you, l can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers. 347 00:25:21,410 --> 00:25:22,365 Oh, dear! 348 00:25:22,610 --> 00:25:25,283 Look at this place. The Army couldn't afford drapes? 349 00:25:25,530 --> 00:25:28,124 l'll be up at the crack of dawn here. 350 00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:32,966 And l have to tell you, l am frankly a little shocked. 351 00:25:33,770 --> 00:25:35,123 You're shocked? 352 00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:36,360 Why? 353 00:25:36,610 --> 00:25:39,522 This place is a sty. 354 00:25:42,210 --> 00:25:45,247 Look at these stains. God knows where this has been. 355 00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:48,801 And have you seen the bathroom? 356 00:25:53,970 --> 00:25:57,360 Do you think that the latrine is unsanitary? 357 00:25:58,250 --> 00:25:59,478 lt's disgusting! 358 00:26:00,730 --> 00:26:03,039 There are urinals in there. 359 00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:06,685 That's because this is the Army... 360 00:26:07,930 --> 00:26:09,761 ...it's not a sorority house. 361 00:26:12,930 --> 00:26:16,206 May l see your toothbrush? Please? 362 00:26:35,410 --> 00:26:38,527 Yale, how could you do this to me? 363 00:26:58,570 --> 00:27:00,288 You could eat off that floor. 364 00:27:00,530 --> 00:27:02,202 Why don't you. 365 00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:16,322 Reveille! Let's go! 366 00:27:16,570 --> 00:27:18,162 Everybody up! 367 00:27:18,410 --> 00:27:19,604 Move it! 368 00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:22,040 Everybody up! Everybody move! 369 00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:24,767 Everybody, Benjamin! 370 00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:28,286 You can't mean me. l worked the night shift. 371 00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,879 Go check out the bathroom, it's fabulous. 372 00:27:45,610 --> 00:27:46,884 Alpha Company... 373 00:27:47,130 --> 00:27:48,768 ...attention! 374 00:27:49,050 --> 00:27:51,883 Bravo Company, attention! 375 00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:08,439 At ease, gentlemen... 376 00:28:08,850 --> 00:28:09,805 ...and ladies. 377 00:28:12,530 --> 00:28:14,202 l'm your post commander. 378 00:28:14,970 --> 00:28:16,483 Colonel Clay Thornbush. 379 00:28:16,770 --> 00:28:17,759 Welcome... 380 00:28:18,050 --> 00:28:21,087 ...to the Biloxi, Mississippi Basic Training Center. 381 00:28:21,330 --> 00:28:23,127 The backbone of the U.S. Army. 382 00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:26,362 You have two company commanders to lead you through basic. 383 00:28:26,610 --> 00:28:28,441 Capt. Doreen Lewis, a 5-year veteran... 384 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:30,646 ...here at Fort Biloxi, of Alpha Company. 385 00:28:30,890 --> 00:28:32,369 And a newcomer to the family... 386 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:35,249 ...Captain William Wooldridge, Bravo Company. 387 00:28:35,490 --> 00:28:38,209 Here, we turn out the best-fed, best-trained... 388 00:28:38,450 --> 00:28:40,680 ...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy. 389 00:28:41,090 --> 00:28:44,207 lt does not happen overnight. You must have the strength... 390 00:28:45,410 --> 00:28:48,243 ...the self-discipline, and mental stamina necessary... 391 00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:51,288 ...to meet the standards of the United States Army. 392 00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:53,521 The next 6 weeks will be the test. 393 00:28:54,330 --> 00:28:55,649 lt'll be hell... 394 00:28:57,490 --> 00:28:59,287 ...but you'll be glad you did it. 395 00:29:02,010 --> 00:29:03,568 Move it! 396 00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:06,804 Left, right! Left! 397 00:29:15,890 --> 00:29:19,246 l thought it would be a few leg lifts, a little stretching... 398 00:29:19,490 --> 00:29:21,765 ...maybe a disco class, you know. 399 00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:24,604 You're not real talkative, are you, Soyer? 400 00:29:25,410 --> 00:29:26,525 We run them out... 401 00:29:26,810 --> 00:29:28,368 ...and we march them back. 402 00:29:29,290 --> 00:29:33,568 Then about twice a week, l spring a surprise inspection on them. 403 00:29:33,810 --> 00:29:35,402 That's good Army. 404 00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:38,368 Keeps them on their toes. 405 00:29:40,130 --> 00:29:42,519 - Got one more question. - Shoot. 406 00:29:44,090 --> 00:29:45,000 Are you busy Friday? 407 00:31:12,730 --> 00:31:14,322 Look out, Gianelli! 408 00:31:23,010 --> 00:31:24,887 l can't take anymore. They've broken me. 409 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:27,598 - l'm quitting. - Girl, you can't quit this Army. 410 00:31:27,850 --> 00:31:30,967 l can. The recruiter told me quit anytime l want. 411 00:31:31,210 --> 00:31:33,804 Jesus, you still believe your recruiter? 412 00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:35,847 lt's only for 3 years. 413 00:31:36,090 --> 00:31:38,206 Company halt! 414 00:31:43,890 --> 00:31:44,879 Move it, Benjamin! 415 00:31:45,130 --> 00:31:49,009 l don't want to see you stop running unless you collapse, faint or puke! 416 00:32:00,810 --> 00:32:04,086 l have never looked worse in my life! 417 00:32:05,410 --> 00:32:07,970 Has anybody ever died from basic? 418 00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:42,649 Excuse me. 419 00:32:50,610 --> 00:32:52,726 l think you took my blanket. 420 00:32:53,210 --> 00:32:56,566 This is my blanket. You gave it to me. 421 00:32:58,530 --> 00:33:01,522 - l don't think l did. - Maybe you just forgot. 422 00:33:01,770 --> 00:33:03,488 Maybe you got brain damage. 423 00:33:06,410 --> 00:33:08,082 Okay, l gave it to you. 424 00:33:08,330 --> 00:33:09,763 By mistake. 425 00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:12,725 - l want it back, okay? - Take it. 426 00:34:02,970 --> 00:34:04,483 Where are you going? 427 00:34:06,130 --> 00:34:07,404 Home. 428 00:34:14,930 --> 00:34:17,398 We're going to have to do this again real soon. 429 00:34:18,570 --> 00:34:20,561 How about every Friday night? 430 00:34:22,570 --> 00:34:25,004 l'm going to set you free, Doreen. 431 00:34:47,850 --> 00:34:50,000 Captain Lewis, ma'am, we've got trouble. 432 00:34:53,930 --> 00:34:55,363 My hair! 433 00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:06,529 Benjamin, you are not fit to wear that uniform! 434 00:35:06,770 --> 00:35:08,362 No shit! 435 00:35:11,370 --> 00:35:15,363 What do you want from me? l didn't ask her to punish everybody! 436 00:35:15,610 --> 00:35:18,204 You think l like schlepping in rain all day and night? 437 00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:20,486 Just keep marching, Benjamin! 438 00:35:20,730 --> 00:35:23,722 My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y... 439 00:35:23,970 --> 00:35:26,484 ...and l'd like somebody to call me by my name. 440 00:35:27,090 --> 00:35:28,409 Hey, Judy! 441 00:35:29,690 --> 00:35:32,204 l took my life in my own hands. l made a mistake. 442 00:35:32,450 --> 00:35:35,681 l'm sorry. l'll never do it again! l want to wear my sandals! 443 00:35:37,250 --> 00:35:39,320 l want to go out to lunch. 444 00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:41,367 l want to be normal again. 445 00:35:41,650 --> 00:35:44,403 Would you please just shut up, Benjamin! 446 00:35:44,650 --> 00:35:47,960 God! Never in all my born days met such a whiny... 447 00:35:48,290 --> 00:35:50,087 ...candy-ass as you! 448 00:35:50,330 --> 00:35:53,481 l don't want to be in the Army! 449 00:35:58,610 --> 00:36:00,123 But we do, okay? 450 00:36:00,370 --> 00:36:02,679 We can't afford any more trouble on account of you. 451 00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:06,685 l thought you and l could be friends, but you're.... 452 00:36:06,930 --> 00:36:09,603 - Forget it! - What? l'm what? 453 00:36:10,370 --> 00:36:13,487 You're the most insensitive person l've ever met. 454 00:36:13,810 --> 00:36:15,721 That is so untrue! 455 00:36:15,970 --> 00:36:19,883 l never go to someone's home empty-handed! 456 00:36:20,330 --> 00:36:22,002 People love me! 457 00:36:22,250 --> 00:36:23,205 Platoon, halt! 458 00:36:24,370 --> 00:36:25,723 Fall out! 459 00:36:33,290 --> 00:36:34,439 To the day room... 460 00:36:34,690 --> 00:36:35,805 ...on the double! 461 00:36:53,850 --> 00:36:55,602 They didn't tell me it was you. 462 00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:06,439 Hi, Mom. 463 00:37:14,690 --> 00:37:16,203 Hi, Daddy. 464 00:37:22,970 --> 00:37:24,449 Sit down, Judy. 465 00:37:26,130 --> 00:37:27,404 l was... 466 00:37:27,650 --> 00:37:30,847 ...going to call, but l wasn't feeling very good. 467 00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:35,643 Eight days. 468 00:37:36,610 --> 00:37:38,601 Our daughter disappears... 469 00:37:38,850 --> 00:37:41,489 ...for eight days without a single word. 470 00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:47,323 We thought you were kidnapped. The FBl was looking for you... 471 00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:49,526 ...when some stranger calls... 472 00:37:49,770 --> 00:37:53,604 ...telling us how fine you are and that you'd enlisted in the Army. 473 00:37:54,890 --> 00:37:56,767 We tried to figure out why. 474 00:37:57,850 --> 00:38:00,762 Personally, l think you've gone temporarily insane. 475 00:38:01,330 --> 00:38:03,480 That's what we told everyone. 476 00:38:03,970 --> 00:38:06,404 We said that you had a collapse... 477 00:38:06,650 --> 00:38:08,606 ...and that you were in a mental home. 478 00:38:09,890 --> 00:38:11,448 People think l'm in a mental home? 479 00:38:12,530 --> 00:38:13,519 What should we say? 480 00:38:13,770 --> 00:38:17,445 That you're in an Army barracks in Mississippi with a bunch of.... 481 00:38:17,690 --> 00:38:19,965 - What? - l don't know what! 482 00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:23,362 That's why l don't like it. 483 00:38:25,290 --> 00:38:28,600 How could you do this to your parents? 484 00:38:29,130 --> 00:38:33,487 Haven't we done enough for you? Given you everything you wanted? 485 00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:38,042 Did l get you a car on your sixteenth birthday? Did l get you into college? 486 00:38:38,290 --> 00:38:41,646 Did l bail you out of your first marriage to that schmuck? Did l? 487 00:38:41,890 --> 00:38:42,720 Relax. 488 00:38:42,970 --> 00:38:44,688 l am relaxed! 489 00:38:49,170 --> 00:38:51,809 Why are you punishing us? 490 00:38:56,530 --> 00:38:58,327 Maybe you hate us. 491 00:39:00,930 --> 00:39:02,727 l don't hate you, l love you. 492 00:39:04,930 --> 00:39:07,524 You know your Aunt Kissy is living with us now. 493 00:39:08,770 --> 00:39:09,600 Why? 494 00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:12,524 Because you mother's had a nervous breakdown, that's why! 495 00:39:17,330 --> 00:39:21,528 You were never a smart girl. We're all going to stop pretending now. 496 00:39:23,970 --> 00:39:28,088 You are obviously incapable of making your own decisions. 497 00:39:28,690 --> 00:39:32,285 Starting tomorrow, l do not let you out of my sight. 498 00:39:32,530 --> 00:39:33,929 l don't care how much you cry. 499 00:39:34,490 --> 00:39:36,321 The Benjamins! 500 00:39:37,290 --> 00:39:38,803 Captain Lewis. 501 00:39:43,290 --> 00:39:45,281 lt is so good to meet you in person. 502 00:39:45,970 --> 00:39:46,846 Thank you. 503 00:39:48,410 --> 00:39:50,640 Captain Lewis said we could take you home, darling. 504 00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:55,323 l'm sorry that things just didn't work out here for Judy. 505 00:39:56,290 --> 00:39:58,326 She's a hard worker. 506 00:39:58,570 --> 00:40:00,720 She's very...popular... 507 00:40:00,970 --> 00:40:03,165 ...with all the other girls. 508 00:40:03,810 --> 00:40:06,199 We are sad to see her go. 509 00:40:08,730 --> 00:40:12,564 lf you sign here on the dotted line, you're as good as home, young lady. 510 00:40:13,650 --> 00:40:14,878 Right there. 511 00:40:18,090 --> 00:40:19,523 Here, darling. Here you are. 512 00:40:21,010 --> 00:40:23,365 Come on, take it. 513 00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:27,569 No, thanks. 514 00:40:28,890 --> 00:40:30,562 Think l'll stay. 515 00:40:43,170 --> 00:40:44,000 Mom. 516 00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:45,480 Daddy. 517 00:41:40,850 --> 00:41:42,169 All right, knock it off! 518 00:41:42,410 --> 00:41:43,843 Break it! Let's go! 519 00:42:12,770 --> 00:42:16,922 Welcome to the Biloxi War Games, the Super Bowl of Basic Training. 520 00:42:17,210 --> 00:42:20,008 Simulated combat will test your skills and courage. 521 00:42:20,250 --> 00:42:23,526 Captain Wooldridge will lead the red team. Captain Lewis... 522 00:42:23,770 --> 00:42:27,479 ...the blue team. l will be observing the exercises from the air. 523 00:42:28,330 --> 00:42:30,321 Good luck. And fight proud! 524 00:42:32,370 --> 00:42:33,564 Fight proud! 525 00:42:43,570 --> 00:42:44,969 Thompson, Hike... 526 00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:47,166 ...Katz, Byron... 527 00:42:47,410 --> 00:42:48,399 ...Richter! 528 00:42:49,130 --> 00:42:53,089 Your objective is to capture and blow up Red Team's communication center. 529 00:42:53,330 --> 00:42:55,207 Beware, mine-fields are out there. 530 00:42:55,450 --> 00:42:57,122 Most of them are inert... 531 00:42:57,370 --> 00:42:58,564 ...but some are ert. 532 00:42:59,090 --> 00:43:00,364 Take off! 533 00:43:00,610 --> 00:43:01,679 Private Winter! 534 00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:06,565 You'll serve as Captain Lewis' aide-de-camp. 535 00:43:07,730 --> 00:43:09,482 Sir. Yes, sir! 536 00:43:10,530 --> 00:43:11,360 Team ''C'' ! 537 00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:13,767 Gianelli, Glass... 538 00:43:14,010 --> 00:43:15,921 ...Moe, Benjamin... 539 00:43:16,170 --> 00:43:17,285 ...Soyer! 540 00:43:18,290 --> 00:43:21,123 Your objective is to guard this area here. 541 00:43:21,370 --> 00:43:23,725 Excuse me, Drill Sergeant, what is that area? 542 00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:26,163 That's the swamp. 543 00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:27,680 Swamp? 544 00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:31,603 Take off! 545 00:43:47,490 --> 00:43:50,527 lf you can't read that map, why don't you just say it? 546 00:43:50,770 --> 00:43:52,886 You're supposed to be the point man! 547 00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:55,041 Benj pointed me in the wrong direction! 548 00:43:55,330 --> 00:43:58,640 - What am l, Magellan? - What are we going to guard, algae? 549 00:44:00,450 --> 00:44:02,281 Let's just go straight north. 550 00:44:02,530 --> 00:44:04,566 - We came from the north! - Let's go south. 551 00:44:04,810 --> 00:44:06,163 Wait! Relax. 552 00:44:06,410 --> 00:44:08,287 lf we can't get back by tomorrow... 553 00:44:08,650 --> 00:44:10,083 ...they'll send a search plane. 554 00:44:10,330 --> 00:44:12,480 We have enough bodies to spell ''help''? 555 00:44:12,970 --> 00:44:13,880 Let's go. 556 00:44:20,530 --> 00:44:23,363 The first time l ever did it... 557 00:44:30,730 --> 00:44:34,245 ...was on an overnight hike with my Bible class. 558 00:44:36,570 --> 00:44:40,643 We're talking Laemil Lefebvre, my preacher's son. 559 00:44:46,210 --> 00:44:50,488 l'd never done nothing in my life before. Nothing! 560 00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:53,198 And he just climbed right smack-dab... 561 00:44:53,450 --> 00:44:56,123 ...in the middle of my sleeping bag, and l was scared. 562 00:44:58,050 --> 00:45:01,122 Not to mention the fact that his daddy, the preacher... 563 00:45:01,370 --> 00:45:03,930 ...was right over there, just about ten feet away. 564 00:45:04,170 --> 00:45:05,000 How was it? 565 00:45:06,170 --> 00:45:07,523 Quiet... 566 00:45:08,050 --> 00:45:10,928 ...but very nice. Very nice! 567 00:45:14,330 --> 00:45:16,241 l had an orgasm once. 568 00:45:19,090 --> 00:45:20,808 But l was alone. 569 00:45:23,090 --> 00:45:25,968 l guess you must have been alone. 570 00:45:33,050 --> 00:45:34,529 Once... 571 00:45:35,250 --> 00:45:39,607 ....when l was with my first husband, l got to this place... 572 00:45:39,890 --> 00:45:42,723 ...that was kind of nice and tingly. 573 00:45:47,890 --> 00:45:49,926 l don't know if it was official. 574 00:45:50,170 --> 00:45:52,889 l mean, l don't know if this was an official... 575 00:45:53,130 --> 00:45:55,041 ...orgasm, you know. 576 00:45:57,530 --> 00:46:01,443 But l counted it as one for five years. 577 00:46:04,490 --> 00:46:06,321 How many times have you been married? 578 00:46:09,290 --> 00:46:10,609 Twice. 579 00:46:13,170 --> 00:46:15,889 The first time for six weeks... 580 00:46:16,210 --> 00:46:17,882 ...and the second time... 581 00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:19,449 ...for six hours. 582 00:46:19,690 --> 00:46:20,520 Six hours? 583 00:46:21,250 --> 00:46:23,445 My husband had a heart attack and died. 584 00:46:23,690 --> 00:46:24,600 What?! 585 00:46:26,530 --> 00:46:28,919 My husband had a heart attack... 586 00:46:29,170 --> 00:46:32,207 ...and died on our wedding night. 587 00:46:33,810 --> 00:46:35,766 While we were making love. 588 00:46:36,890 --> 00:46:38,369 Holy shit! 589 00:46:38,610 --> 00:46:40,487 Jesus, Benjamin! 590 00:46:40,810 --> 00:46:43,449 l don't get it. What do you do after a thing like that? 591 00:46:47,650 --> 00:46:49,288 Join the Army. 592 00:47:10,570 --> 00:47:14,358 We're lost. We've passed that same alligator 7 times. 593 00:47:14,610 --> 00:47:16,328 l bet the war games are over by now. 594 00:47:16,570 --> 00:47:19,607 - Lewis is going to just kill us! - There's a plane! 595 00:47:19,850 --> 00:47:22,318 l bet that's headed back to base. Let's follow it. 596 00:47:22,570 --> 00:47:25,004 l hope it's not Delta to Miami. 597 00:47:26,130 --> 00:47:28,644 Look, it's the Red Army headquarters. 598 00:47:31,530 --> 00:47:32,679 Quiet! 599 00:47:38,650 --> 00:47:39,685 Great. 600 00:47:40,050 --> 00:47:43,406 - You owe me $6.95. - You got it! 601 00:47:54,890 --> 00:47:58,519 Hey, blood, how you doing? All right, looking good! 602 00:47:58,770 --> 00:48:01,364 - What's happening, girl? - What can l tell you? 603 00:48:02,090 --> 00:48:04,320 You're my prisoner of war, that's what's happening! 604 00:48:04,570 --> 00:48:08,245 - l ain't your nothing. Get that- - l mean what l say! 605 00:48:11,690 --> 00:48:12,805 Drop it! 606 00:48:15,970 --> 00:48:16,846 No, you drop it. 607 00:48:18,410 --> 00:48:19,889 l said, drop it! 608 00:48:22,050 --> 00:48:25,486 - Where's Captain Wooldridge? - ln the tent interrogating a P.O.W. 609 00:48:26,330 --> 00:48:27,683 Get the keys to the truck. 610 00:48:28,210 --> 00:48:29,325 Come on. 611 00:48:32,650 --> 00:48:34,208 - Oh, shit! - Don't worry. 612 00:48:34,450 --> 00:48:36,520 - l'll hot-wire it. - You know how? 613 00:48:37,010 --> 00:48:38,523 That's my former career. 614 00:48:38,770 --> 00:48:39,839 Excellent! 615 00:48:56,850 --> 00:48:57,999 What? 616 00:49:00,370 --> 00:49:01,200 Freeze! 617 00:49:02,010 --> 00:49:03,841 Private Winter! 618 00:49:05,890 --> 00:49:07,369 Well, lookee here! 619 00:49:07,610 --> 00:49:11,080 - Look what we got. - Listen, Captain Lewis.... 620 00:49:11,770 --> 00:49:14,045 She sent me out to find you guys and... 621 00:49:15,290 --> 00:49:16,518 ...l got captured. 622 00:49:17,770 --> 00:49:20,284 He promised me he'd put in a good word with Captain Lewis. 623 00:49:20,530 --> 00:49:22,122 And l really don't like him. 624 00:49:22,850 --> 00:49:24,522 Take the prisoners. 625 00:49:26,050 --> 00:49:28,644 Attention all Red Team personnel. 626 00:49:28,890 --> 00:49:31,882 The Blue Team has surrendered. The Red Team has won. 627 00:49:32,130 --> 00:49:33,609 So follow us. 628 00:49:34,490 --> 00:49:36,606 Attention all Red Team personnel. 629 00:49:37,010 --> 00:49:38,523 The Blue Team has surrendered. 630 00:49:38,770 --> 00:49:41,204 The Red Team has won, so follow us. 631 00:49:46,730 --> 00:49:48,641 Red Team captured! 632 00:49:49,690 --> 00:49:51,681 Ross, take the platoon... 633 00:49:52,810 --> 00:49:53,879 ...head due west. 634 00:49:55,490 --> 00:49:58,880 l'll lead the remaining troops to the east. 635 00:50:06,490 --> 00:50:07,684 What now? 636 00:50:08,090 --> 00:50:09,239 Got any ideas? 637 00:50:15,570 --> 00:50:17,959 Off your asses! On your feet! 638 00:50:22,290 --> 00:50:25,088 Overwhelming enemy forces approaching. 639 00:50:25,770 --> 00:50:30,286 Blue Team Company Commander requests permission to surrender, sir. 640 00:50:30,730 --> 00:50:32,686 Do you accept surrender of Blue Team? 641 00:50:32,930 --> 00:50:36,206 No, sir. We do not, because we are also the Blue Team, sir. 642 00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:37,929 ldentify yourself, soldier! 643 00:50:38,170 --> 00:50:40,479 Sir, Private Benjamin, sir! 644 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,724 At ease! 645 00:50:54,970 --> 00:50:56,801 Which one of you is Private Benjamin? 646 00:50:57,050 --> 00:50:58,165 Sir, l am, sir. 647 00:50:59,970 --> 00:51:02,086 - Outstanding! - Thank you, sir! 648 00:51:02,330 --> 00:51:05,242 Here's the rest of the squad. Privates Glass, Gianelli... 649 00:51:05,490 --> 00:51:07,720 ...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir. 650 00:51:09,170 --> 00:51:10,922 Where is the Red Team Commander? 651 00:51:40,970 --> 00:51:43,643 Captain Lewis, you are lucky to have troopers like this! 652 00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:45,244 Congratulations! 653 00:51:45,690 --> 00:51:48,648 Next time don't be so quick to raise the white flag. 654 00:51:49,370 --> 00:51:51,679 - Yes, sir. - The war games are concluded. 655 00:51:51,930 --> 00:51:55,047 Troops are dismissed. l will see you tomorrow at graduation. 656 00:52:01,490 --> 00:52:03,765 - Yes, sir! - Can l offer your team a lift? 657 00:52:19,810 --> 00:52:24,008 Meet two of our Thornbirds! Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates. 658 00:52:26,690 --> 00:52:29,488 Fabulous uniforms! What's a Thornbird, sir? 659 00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:34,121 An elite airborne corp. We recruit them from the best bases in the country. 660 00:52:34,730 --> 00:52:37,369 l'm damn proud of them, like l'm proud of you girls. 661 00:52:37,610 --> 00:52:39,646 lt's a hell of a job you did today! 662 00:52:40,970 --> 00:52:42,369 Where do you hail from? 663 00:52:43,530 --> 00:52:45,168 Philadelphia, sir. 664 00:52:46,490 --> 00:52:50,324 lt's the seat of our democracy! Thornie Two is from Philadelphia. 665 00:52:50,730 --> 00:52:51,719 Thornie Two, sir? 666 00:52:52,130 --> 00:52:53,324 My wife. 667 00:52:54,130 --> 00:52:57,167 After 20 years watching us crazy guys jump out of airplanes... 668 00:52:57,530 --> 00:53:00,203 ...she decided she wanted to try it. Remember, Ed? 669 00:53:01,290 --> 00:53:03,326 We took her up, almost had to shove her out! 670 00:53:03,730 --> 00:53:05,800 She had a good time, but she landed wrong. 671 00:53:06,170 --> 00:53:09,845 Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky we didn't have to shoot her, right? 672 00:53:11,210 --> 00:53:12,484 We're approaching, sir. 673 00:53:12,850 --> 00:53:15,205 l'll take her down. You trust me, don't you? 674 00:53:15,450 --> 00:53:16,485 Oh, yes, sir! 675 00:53:16,850 --> 00:53:19,410 Then let's do it to it! 676 00:53:20,010 --> 00:53:24,003 - Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin! - Hang on, men. 677 00:54:30,210 --> 00:54:32,201 Whoop-de-do! 678 00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:37,688 lnspection, ladies! 679 00:54:50,610 --> 00:54:52,248 Lady Luck! 680 00:54:56,970 --> 00:54:59,643 Don't you look at me with those baby blues. 681 00:55:01,450 --> 00:55:04,010 l'm not the great Thornie. 682 00:55:06,690 --> 00:55:11,320 You finally succeeded in making a fool out of me, didn't you? 683 00:55:13,010 --> 00:55:14,363 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 684 00:55:14,810 --> 00:55:18,280 l've got a reward for you, my little hero. 685 00:55:19,530 --> 00:55:23,045 You're all going to scour every inch of this rat's nest! 686 00:55:23,850 --> 00:55:25,602 lnside and out. 687 00:55:27,570 --> 00:55:30,607 l mean the bed frames, the window ledges... 688 00:55:30,850 --> 00:55:32,841 ...the linoleum... 689 00:55:34,650 --> 00:55:36,288 ...the toilet seats. 690 00:55:38,370 --> 00:55:39,962 You understand me? 691 00:55:40,410 --> 00:55:42,401 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am. 692 00:55:43,130 --> 00:55:44,449 l can't hear you. 693 00:55:46,610 --> 00:55:48,805 l can't hear you! 694 00:55:57,290 --> 00:55:58,439 Thank you. 695 00:56:02,210 --> 00:56:05,008 lt breaks my little old heart... 696 00:56:05,250 --> 00:56:07,445 ...to have to bust up our winning team... 697 00:56:07,690 --> 00:56:10,568 ...but l have been assigned to a new post. 698 00:56:10,810 --> 00:56:12,402 A good post! 699 00:56:13,850 --> 00:56:16,489 Let's not keep in touch, shall we! 700 00:56:57,050 --> 00:56:59,484 Busted up, the whole team. 701 00:56:59,730 --> 00:57:01,163 Busted up. 702 00:57:02,450 --> 00:57:05,123 l have been assigned to a new post. 703 00:57:11,850 --> 00:57:12,965 Come on. 704 00:57:50,210 --> 00:57:51,643 Good post! 705 00:58:21,650 --> 00:58:23,049 That was nice. 706 00:58:24,210 --> 00:58:26,326 Keep in touch, shall we? 707 00:59:44,850 --> 00:59:45,919 At ease! 708 00:59:49,930 --> 00:59:51,648 Didn't think you'd make it, did you? 709 00:59:53,850 --> 00:59:56,648 You will no longer be known as trainees. 710 00:59:58,970 --> 01:00:01,325 You have earned the right to call yourselves... 711 01:00:01,610 --> 01:00:04,682 ...United States soldiers, and l'm proud of each of you. 712 01:00:07,250 --> 01:00:08,888 On Monday you will receive... 713 01:00:09,130 --> 01:00:12,008 ...your advanced individual training assignments. 714 01:00:12,610 --> 01:00:13,679 Each of you... 715 01:00:20,410 --> 01:00:21,445 ...will be given... 716 01:00:21,970 --> 01:00:24,484 ...a special responsibility which will play... 717 01:00:24,730 --> 01:00:27,688 ...a key role in the defense of the free world. 718 01:00:28,010 --> 01:00:30,160 My heartfelt congratulations and best wishes. 719 01:00:32,530 --> 01:00:34,122 l almost forgot. 720 01:00:36,250 --> 01:00:38,718 Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning. Have a good one! 721 01:01:06,210 --> 01:01:07,040 Evening, ladies. 722 01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:08,769 We're not interested. 723 01:01:09,010 --> 01:01:10,762 Sorry. 724 01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,962 All right, l'm uptight, okay? 725 01:01:14,210 --> 01:01:17,486 Get yourself a drink, we're going to cruise. 726 01:01:45,050 --> 01:01:48,281 Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke. 727 01:01:48,530 --> 01:01:50,805 And Kim...l forget your last name. 728 01:01:51,050 --> 01:01:52,119 Osaka. 729 01:01:53,450 --> 01:01:56,089 Come on, sweetheart, let's go. 730 01:01:59,010 --> 01:02:01,160 What's happening, Judy? 731 01:02:03,770 --> 01:02:04,998 Bourbon, no ice. 732 01:02:07,090 --> 01:02:09,240 l'm with Olivetti of Tokyo. 733 01:02:09,490 --> 01:02:11,845 Johnny is my southeastern U.S. sales manager. 734 01:02:12,090 --> 01:02:14,763 He always shows me a hip time. 735 01:02:18,770 --> 01:02:20,362 What time is it? 736 01:02:22,690 --> 01:02:24,567 l just took your picture, mama! 737 01:02:26,690 --> 01:02:28,601 Very hip. 738 01:02:29,010 --> 01:02:31,683 Look, l've got to go back to the base. 739 01:02:31,930 --> 01:02:34,285 Where's the fire? Come on. 740 01:02:34,930 --> 01:02:37,603 This could be a big night for you. 741 01:02:39,130 --> 01:02:40,768 Sincerely. 742 01:02:42,930 --> 01:02:44,522 Liz? 743 01:02:45,010 --> 01:02:46,363 - How are you? - God, l'm fine. 744 01:02:46,610 --> 01:02:48,805 l can't believe this! 745 01:02:49,770 --> 01:02:53,126 Listen, thanks, but l don't need the loan. 746 01:02:53,370 --> 01:02:55,008 What are you doing in New Orleans? 747 01:02:55,250 --> 01:02:57,764 My dad's here on a medical conference and we all came. 748 01:02:58,010 --> 01:02:59,568 Come and see them, they'll die! 749 01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:02,199 Wait a minute. Who is that with your parents? 750 01:03:03,770 --> 01:03:07,524 A French gynecologist. He and Dad spoke on the Lamaze panel together. 751 01:03:07,970 --> 01:03:09,926 - lsn't he totally gorgeous? - Totally. 752 01:03:10,170 --> 01:03:12,365 lf it weren't for Jeffrey, l'd go for him myself. 753 01:03:12,610 --> 01:03:14,441 Look who l found! 754 01:03:16,170 --> 01:03:18,081 My God, how are you, darling? 755 01:03:18,330 --> 01:03:22,039 Kid, you look wonderful! Please give me a hug. 756 01:03:25,810 --> 01:03:27,129 Sit down. 757 01:03:29,890 --> 01:03:32,165 - Henri Tremont. - Benjamin, Judy. 758 01:03:32,410 --> 01:03:35,049 Will you you look at this? Gl Judy! 759 01:03:35,290 --> 01:03:37,167 We'll call your parents. 760 01:03:37,410 --> 01:03:39,287 They'll be so thrilled we saw you. 761 01:03:39,530 --> 01:03:41,919 Your mother's coming along very nicely. 762 01:03:42,210 --> 01:03:44,007 She gained back some of the weight. 763 01:03:45,490 --> 01:03:46,479 Champagne? 764 01:03:46,770 --> 01:03:47,998 l'd love some, thank you. 765 01:03:48,250 --> 01:03:49,569 Since Yale's fu.... 766 01:03:50,930 --> 01:03:54,559 By the way, l can't get over you in this Army outfit. 767 01:03:54,810 --> 01:03:57,404 She didn't swim because she didn't want her hair wet. 768 01:03:57,650 --> 01:03:58,799 This is true. 769 01:03:59,050 --> 01:04:00,369 What it's like to be a WAC? 770 01:04:00,650 --> 01:04:03,118 - l'm not a WAC. - How often do you talk to your folks? 771 01:04:03,370 --> 01:04:06,009 Tell Henri how long we've known your parents. 772 01:04:06,290 --> 01:04:08,804 Shall l make a long story short? 773 01:04:09,610 --> 01:04:11,248 Leo and l and Judy's parents... 774 01:04:11,490 --> 01:04:15,529 ...double-dated in Atlantic City, before even any one of us was married. 775 01:04:15,770 --> 01:04:18,887 lt wasn't Atlantic City. lt was Asbury Park, but it's all right. 776 01:04:19,130 --> 01:04:22,406 l've never been to Asbury Park in my life. 777 01:04:25,210 --> 01:04:26,279 Would you like to dance? 778 01:04:26,770 --> 01:04:28,408 l'd love to dance. 779 01:04:41,730 --> 01:04:43,322 The Lemishes are terrific people... 780 01:04:43,570 --> 01:04:46,960 ...but 4 hours of making long stories short was driving me crazy. 781 01:04:47,210 --> 01:04:49,929 4 hours? Try 28 years. 782 01:04:53,730 --> 01:04:56,403 l've never danced with a soldier before. 783 01:04:56,650 --> 01:04:59,403 l've never danced as a soldier before. 784 01:05:02,290 --> 01:05:04,406 - l kind of like it. - So do l. 785 01:05:09,890 --> 01:05:12,040 Do you have a boyfriend in this Army? 786 01:05:12,290 --> 01:05:13,484 No. 787 01:05:15,490 --> 01:05:17,367 Don't you get lonely? 788 01:05:18,370 --> 01:05:21,965 - How'd you get to speak English so well? - Baltimore. 789 01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:25,122 - Maryland? - l went to med school at Johns Hopkins. 790 01:05:43,130 --> 01:05:46,725 l just can't believe that you're in this Army. 791 01:05:49,330 --> 01:05:51,639 lf l knew you better, l'd show you my dog tags. 792 01:05:53,290 --> 01:05:54,405 How much better? 793 01:06:13,850 --> 01:06:15,727 Let's go to my room. 794 01:06:20,690 --> 01:06:23,045 l'm really attracted to you. 795 01:06:24,010 --> 01:06:28,242 But l'm not ready to make love to a man l just met an hour and a half ago. 796 01:06:29,090 --> 01:06:30,728 l'm sorry. 797 01:06:31,130 --> 01:06:33,166 That's just the way l am. 798 01:06:34,850 --> 01:06:39,287 Usually, by the time l kiss a guy, l already know his mother's maiden name. 799 01:06:41,890 --> 01:06:43,562 l wish l knew you better. 800 01:06:44,130 --> 01:06:45,802 l'm thirty-four... 801 01:06:46,090 --> 01:06:49,002 ...and l live alone in Neuilly, on the outskirts of Paris. 802 01:06:50,330 --> 01:06:52,719 l'm the only child... 803 01:06:53,210 --> 01:06:55,440 ...and my father is also a doctor. 804 01:06:56,690 --> 01:06:57,918 What else? 805 01:06:59,090 --> 01:07:01,479 When l'm not working l play soccer. 806 01:07:03,130 --> 01:07:05,041 Let's see.... 807 01:07:06,170 --> 01:07:07,683 l'm Jewish. 808 01:07:30,290 --> 01:07:33,680 Now l know what l've been faking all these years. 809 01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:44,683 That was your first? 810 01:07:46,610 --> 01:07:48,168 And second. 811 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:01,689 Where are you going? 812 01:08:01,930 --> 01:08:05,002 - Just to get a sip of champagne. - l want to go with you. 813 01:08:19,370 --> 01:08:20,803 l'm sorry. 814 01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:26,078 No l'm not. 815 01:08:29,290 --> 01:08:30,643 What? 816 01:08:32,010 --> 01:08:33,648 Private Benjamin. 817 01:08:36,530 --> 01:08:38,885 Meeting you tonight was.... 818 01:08:42,010 --> 01:08:44,160 lt was just what l needed. 819 01:08:53,810 --> 01:08:55,846 What you needed? 820 01:09:03,730 --> 01:09:05,402 lf you're ever in Paris.... 821 01:09:06,530 --> 01:09:08,248 lf you're ever in Biloxi. 822 01:09:12,770 --> 01:09:14,442 lt was nice meeting you. 823 01:09:34,450 --> 01:09:35,519 What did you get? 824 01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:39,558 - MP School. - You can put your violence to good use. 825 01:09:39,850 --> 01:09:42,000 - Smoke and flame specialist. - What's that? 826 01:09:42,250 --> 01:09:43,160 A fireman. 827 01:09:43,410 --> 01:09:45,878 l got transferred to Fort Ord, California. 828 01:09:46,130 --> 01:09:48,803 You got the yachts, honey! You got the yachts! 829 01:09:49,370 --> 01:09:51,486 - What? - OCS. 830 01:09:51,730 --> 01:09:53,322 Can you believe it?! 831 01:09:53,570 --> 01:09:58,166 - Honey, you're going to be an officer. - There goes a beautiful friendship. 832 01:09:58,410 --> 01:09:59,286 What did you get? 833 01:09:59,570 --> 01:10:01,765 l don't know. l'm petrified. 834 01:10:02,130 --> 01:10:03,563 Excuse me! 835 01:10:03,930 --> 01:10:05,761 - Where's Benjamin? - Right there. 836 01:10:06,730 --> 01:10:07,685 Thornbirds? 837 01:10:08,610 --> 01:10:09,804 Me? 838 01:10:10,290 --> 01:10:11,882 They don't have women Thornbirds. 839 01:10:12,130 --> 01:10:13,483 They do now. 840 01:10:18,490 --> 01:10:22,119 I was a skinny fighting lad No more than seventeen 841 01:10:22,370 --> 01:10:26,283 The sorriest excuse for a man That you have ever seen 842 01:10:26,530 --> 01:10:30,045 But now I am a Thornbird And as proud as I can be 843 01:10:30,290 --> 01:10:34,169 Colonel Thornbush Made a man out of me 844 01:10:38,890 --> 01:10:42,678 Glory, glory I'll be falling through the sky 845 01:10:42,930 --> 01:10:46,639 Glory, glory I am not afraid to die 846 01:10:46,890 --> 01:10:50,200 Glory, glory I'm as proud as I can be 847 01:10:50,450 --> 01:10:54,363 Colonel Thornbush Made a man out of me 848 01:11:46,570 --> 01:11:48,481 Good morning, sir. 849 01:11:48,730 --> 01:11:50,243 l'd like you to meet my wife. 850 01:11:51,130 --> 01:11:54,805 - Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush. - Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird. 851 01:11:55,050 --> 01:11:57,848 - l've heard a lot about you. - Thank you. 852 01:11:58,170 --> 01:12:00,047 l guess this is the Thorndog. 853 01:12:00,370 --> 01:12:01,564 Shake, Scrabble! 854 01:12:03,570 --> 01:12:06,880 You must be nervous about the big jump tomorrow. 855 01:12:07,130 --> 01:12:09,519 The Colonel says l can do it. l guess l can. 856 01:12:09,770 --> 01:12:12,238 The Colonel's motto is, ''Life is a series... 857 01:12:12,490 --> 01:12:15,846 ...of challenges to be met and mastered. '' 858 01:12:16,130 --> 01:12:20,089 l hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin. Not a feeling like it in the world. 859 01:12:20,530 --> 01:12:24,079 You're in a veil of white, not a sound except your beating heart. 860 01:12:24,890 --> 01:12:26,448 lt's godlike. 861 01:12:31,490 --> 01:12:34,448 You must be very special. 862 01:12:34,770 --> 01:12:36,806 The ''Big T'' is a great judge of character. 863 01:12:37,050 --> 01:12:38,847 Stop gabbing and let this soldier... 864 01:12:39,090 --> 01:12:40,045 ...get some chow. 865 01:12:40,290 --> 01:12:41,643 Goodbye, sir. 866 01:12:44,050 --> 01:12:47,042 l really appreciate your confidence in me. 867 01:12:47,290 --> 01:12:49,087 l'm not going to let you down. 868 01:12:50,330 --> 01:12:52,924 See you at 13,000 feet, okay? 869 01:13:00,050 --> 01:13:01,881 Oy vey ! 870 01:13:13,290 --> 01:13:15,201 Go with it! Soar! You're a Thornbird! 871 01:13:17,370 --> 01:13:19,565 Come on, Benjamin, let's go! All right? 872 01:13:24,650 --> 01:13:26,686 - You can do it! Trust me! - l can't! 873 01:13:27,810 --> 01:13:29,926 l'm ashamed, but l'm afraid to die. 874 01:13:30,170 --> 01:13:33,321 - l'm afraid, Colonel. l'm not brave. - Take it easy! 875 01:13:33,570 --> 01:13:34,798 l can't. l'm afraid... 876 01:13:35,050 --> 01:13:36,802 ...my chute won't open. 877 01:13:37,050 --> 01:13:39,439 - Calm down, Benjamin! - What if l fall upside down? 878 01:13:39,690 --> 01:13:42,887 - l could vomit in midair! - Take it easy! 879 01:13:43,130 --> 01:13:46,884 l tried to be macho, but those guys are better at being men than l am! 880 01:13:47,170 --> 01:13:49,081 Relax, Benjamin, you don't have to jump! 881 01:13:49,650 --> 01:13:51,242 - l don't? - No! 882 01:13:51,490 --> 01:13:53,560 Take it easy, girl! Shape up! 883 01:13:54,290 --> 01:13:55,564 You better? 884 01:13:56,010 --> 01:13:57,762 l feel better now. 885 01:13:58,010 --> 01:14:00,524 You don't have to jump. 886 01:14:00,890 --> 01:14:02,801 You're a good man. 887 01:14:03,090 --> 01:14:04,648 There are other ways you can serve. 888 01:14:10,890 --> 01:14:11,800 Happy, darling? 889 01:14:12,490 --> 01:14:14,481 - You want it! - What are you doing? 890 01:14:14,730 --> 01:14:17,119 l can smell fear in any man and passion in any woman! 891 01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:18,359 You want it! 892 01:14:20,210 --> 01:14:22,883 My God, this isn't happening to me! 893 01:14:24,010 --> 01:14:25,159 l'm going to take you. 894 01:14:25,490 --> 01:14:28,084 l'm not in the mood. Suddenly l feel nauseous. 895 01:14:28,330 --> 01:14:29,922 Come to papa. 896 01:14:30,650 --> 01:14:33,642 l don't think so, sir, but thanks anyway. 897 01:14:37,330 --> 01:14:39,719 My God! Open, please! 898 01:14:48,050 --> 01:14:49,165 At ease. 899 01:14:51,810 --> 01:14:53,641 l'm glad you're back in one piece. 900 01:14:55,130 --> 01:14:59,362 l apologize for yesterday's indiscretion. An unforgivable breach of discipline. 901 01:15:00,050 --> 01:15:01,563 And taste, sir. 902 01:15:04,490 --> 01:15:06,765 l hope it hasn't soured you on the military. 903 01:15:07,130 --> 01:15:09,769 The question is how long you'll continue as a Thornbird. 904 01:15:10,010 --> 01:15:11,887 Hopefully not too long, sir. 905 01:15:13,930 --> 01:15:15,079 Understood. 906 01:15:15,330 --> 01:15:19,039 That's why l've put you on special assignment, transferred to another post. 907 01:15:20,170 --> 01:15:22,365 A special assignment on the ground, l hope. 908 01:15:23,210 --> 01:15:25,087 - A job in procurement. - Procurement? 909 01:15:25,330 --> 01:15:28,288 That's purchasing. l've cut your orders, you leave at 1500. 910 01:15:30,330 --> 01:15:31,399 Greenland? 911 01:15:31,650 --> 01:15:33,527 What, penguins? Forget it! 912 01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:35,319 Forget it! 913 01:15:36,450 --> 01:15:39,362 l was in the first wave of the Rangers at Normandy on D-day. 914 01:15:39,610 --> 01:15:43,922 ln 1952 l was standing with my troops on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting. 915 01:15:44,170 --> 01:15:46,365 MacArthur phoned. ''Come home, Thornie... 916 01:15:46,690 --> 01:15:48,885 ...it's not our year. '' l am a good leader. 917 01:15:49,130 --> 01:15:51,041 No, l am a great leader! 918 01:15:51,490 --> 01:15:53,765 Your ass is going to Greenland for a reason. 919 01:15:54,010 --> 01:15:58,526 l won't let you shoot your mouth off, blemishing my record with innuendo. 920 01:15:58,850 --> 01:16:00,522 lnnuendo? Try rape. 921 01:16:03,410 --> 01:16:04,240 How about Guam? 922 01:16:05,250 --> 01:16:06,649 My hair will frizz. 923 01:16:07,930 --> 01:16:08,760 Okinawa? 924 01:16:09,170 --> 01:16:12,082 Malaria? Pass. 925 01:16:12,730 --> 01:16:15,005 We have bases all over the world. 926 01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:47,444 Dear Glass, hello from Belgium. 927 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:51,239 Sorry it's taken me so long to write, but I've been very busy. 928 01:16:51,490 --> 01:16:53,242 S.H.A.P.E. is an amazing place. 929 01:16:53,530 --> 01:16:56,249 The top military headquarters in Europe. 930 01:16:56,490 --> 01:16:59,402 Definitely the most exciting duty a soldier could pull. 931 01:16:59,650 --> 01:17:01,925 My M. O. S. is Purchasing Specialist... 932 01:17:02,170 --> 01:17:04,889 ... the one job I've trained for all my life. 933 01:17:05,690 --> 01:17:07,362 My superior is a terrific guy... 934 01:17:08,130 --> 01:17:10,803 ...a Turkish officer named Lieutenant Rahmi. 935 01:17:11,050 --> 01:17:15,009 But the best one can say of his English is that it's better than my Turkish. 936 01:17:15,930 --> 01:17:17,488 Benyameen, ka'. 937 01:17:18,770 --> 01:17:19,839 Sate. 938 01:17:21,250 --> 01:17:25,129 Benyameen, l need the inpoormation on the drying caruses. 939 01:17:25,530 --> 01:17:26,485 Driving courses? 940 01:17:26,730 --> 01:17:28,846 Yes, sir. l'm working on that now. 941 01:17:29,090 --> 01:17:32,844 Excellent. l want you to rye-eed it to the counsule. 942 01:17:33,650 --> 01:17:35,481 Me? Read it to the council? 943 01:17:35,930 --> 01:17:37,886 Do want me to rye-eed it? 944 01:17:41,530 --> 01:17:43,486 Private Benyameen...Benjamin! 945 01:17:43,730 --> 01:17:46,767 I got a charming apartment through an ad in Stars and Stripes. 946 01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:50,320 It's right over a bakery, has a hot plate, running water... 947 01:17:50,570 --> 01:17:52,447 ...and all the croissants I can eat. 948 01:17:52,690 --> 01:17:55,329 It's not exactly Versailles, but it's home. 949 01:17:55,570 --> 01:17:59,529 For the first time in months, I feel that things are really going my way. 950 01:18:14,490 --> 01:18:17,209 I finally got the nerve to pay Henri a surprise visit. 951 01:18:17,450 --> 01:18:21,159 I'll let you know how it turns out. I hope he remembers me. 952 01:18:21,410 --> 01:18:25,608 My love to Moe and Gianelli. Votre amie, Private B. 953 01:18:26,210 --> 01:18:29,247 Let's see...just got into town. 954 01:18:30,770 --> 01:18:34,479 And feeling kind of lonely. No, don't say lonely. 955 01:18:34,730 --> 01:18:35,879 Oh, God! 956 01:19:01,250 --> 01:19:04,879 lt's a great house, but don't be impressed. lt's a hand-me-down. 957 01:19:23,250 --> 01:19:24,808 - Morning. - Nine o'clock? 958 01:19:25,050 --> 01:19:27,723 l haven't slept this late in 3 months. 959 01:19:33,050 --> 01:19:35,200 - Where are you going? - Sunday soccer. 960 01:19:36,450 --> 01:19:37,769 Merde! l'm late. 961 01:19:38,050 --> 01:19:39,847 l have to go anyway. 962 01:19:40,130 --> 01:19:41,768 Don't be ridiculous, please! 963 01:19:42,010 --> 01:19:45,207 Stay. l want you to be here when l get back at three o'clock. 964 01:19:45,450 --> 01:19:49,728 l'm going to make love to you, and l'll take you to my favorite bistro. 965 01:19:50,490 --> 01:19:53,050 And we'll listen to some nice ltalian jazz. 966 01:19:54,370 --> 01:19:55,246 Max! 967 01:20:05,250 --> 01:20:07,241 Hello, baby! 968 01:20:09,490 --> 01:20:11,082 He's beautiful. 969 01:20:11,330 --> 01:20:12,319 Sit! 970 01:20:17,090 --> 01:20:18,728 The dog is deaf. 971 01:20:25,050 --> 01:20:27,245 Wait for me, please. 972 01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:34,046 l could get used to you. 973 01:20:55,810 --> 01:20:58,563 l paid 8,000 francs for this rug. 974 01:20:59,570 --> 01:21:03,768 l'm sorry. He gets nervous around new people. 975 01:21:04,010 --> 01:21:05,762 He's not the only one. 976 01:21:10,010 --> 01:21:12,968 - l have to clean this up. - You go play. l'll clean up. 977 01:21:13,210 --> 01:21:15,599 No, l'll clean it. Go play. 978 01:21:27,250 --> 01:21:28,478 l adore you. 979 01:21:35,690 --> 01:21:40,241 There are two bids we recommend: Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy... 980 01:21:40,570 --> 01:21:43,164 ...which teaches evasive driving to the chauffeurs... 981 01:21:43,410 --> 01:21:46,607 ...of such dignitaries as General Alexander Haig... 982 01:21:46,850 --> 01:21:50,399 ...President Giscard d'Estaing, Mick Jagger- 983 01:21:50,690 --> 01:21:52,920 Excuse me, Private Benjamin... 984 01:21:53,170 --> 01:21:56,162 ...l'm afraid l missed the security data on these drivers. 985 01:21:56,410 --> 01:21:58,878 The security data was unavailable to me, sir. 986 01:21:59,530 --> 01:22:01,885 Who's here from security? 987 01:22:03,650 --> 01:22:04,480 l am, sir. 988 01:22:08,130 --> 01:22:10,690 That material is highly classified, sir. 989 01:22:10,930 --> 01:22:14,240 l am certain this soldier is not cleared for that level. 990 01:22:14,490 --> 01:22:16,481 Then clear her, Captain. 991 01:22:18,090 --> 01:22:19,000 ls there a problem? 992 01:22:22,050 --> 01:22:22,926 No, sir. 993 01:22:23,170 --> 01:22:26,207 Then we'll expect a revised report by the next council session. 994 01:22:26,450 --> 01:22:27,439 Gentlemen... 995 01:22:27,770 --> 01:22:28,759 ...chow time. 996 01:22:33,050 --> 01:22:34,039 Good job. 997 01:22:53,090 --> 01:22:54,808 Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin... 998 01:22:55,050 --> 01:22:59,521 ...or l'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E. so fast it'll make your head spin. 999 01:23:06,730 --> 01:23:08,288 Sorry, Helga. 1000 01:23:08,570 --> 01:23:10,401 Who is your friend, Doreen? 1001 01:23:10,650 --> 01:23:12,880 She's no fwiend...friend. 1002 01:23:13,650 --> 01:23:15,766 Listen, the bags are packed. 1003 01:23:20,850 --> 01:23:22,886 My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it. 1004 01:23:23,130 --> 01:23:26,759 - What's it supposed to be, death? - No, it's a self-portrait. 1005 01:23:27,610 --> 01:23:29,601 How long ago did you and this... 1006 01:23:30,450 --> 01:23:32,168 ...painter break up? 1007 01:23:32,930 --> 01:23:37,003 -14 weeks ago, Monday. - You're still counting it in weeks? 1008 01:23:38,770 --> 01:23:42,524 How come you broke up? Or is that too personal? 1009 01:23:44,170 --> 01:23:45,728 Claire is a brilliant woman. 1010 01:23:45,970 --> 01:23:50,122 l even joined the Communist Party for her for a week. 1011 01:23:50,770 --> 01:23:54,399 Not romantic though, much too independent. 1012 01:23:58,090 --> 01:24:00,206 Do you know a lot of tortured artists? 1013 01:24:00,770 --> 01:24:02,965 Only tortured lawyers. 1014 01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:06,560 Your first husband was a lawyer? 1015 01:24:06,810 --> 01:24:10,086 No, Rick was a tennis pro at the El San Juan. 1016 01:24:10,570 --> 01:24:14,245 My therapist said that l had a neurotic need to find a father figure. 1017 01:24:14,490 --> 01:24:18,244 And he had a neurotic need to find a father-in-law who had a lot of money. 1018 01:24:27,490 --> 01:24:32,166 You know, l've been married to men l haven't felt this comfortable with. 1019 01:25:42,850 --> 01:25:46,240 What's the story with you and this Tremont character? 1020 01:25:47,090 --> 01:25:48,808 Why are you spying on me? 1021 01:26:01,530 --> 01:26:05,125 - Your lover-boy's a Red! - Don't be ridiculous! 1022 01:26:05,370 --> 01:26:08,203 He was a Red for about five seconds. 1023 01:26:08,450 --> 01:26:10,247 Because of a woman he used to date. 1024 01:26:10,690 --> 01:26:14,569 Nobody stops being a Communist. lt's a terminal disease. 1025 01:26:14,810 --> 01:26:18,439 And l am not going to sit around with my thumb up my ass... 1026 01:26:18,690 --> 01:26:21,079 ...while you divulge classified information... 1027 01:26:21,330 --> 01:26:23,480 ...during the throes of passion. 1028 01:26:23,730 --> 01:26:26,847 Please! l can barely speak during the throes of passion. 1029 01:26:27,250 --> 01:26:30,447 Believe me, Henri Tremont is as much a Communist as me. 1030 01:26:30,810 --> 01:26:31,879 Or you! 1031 01:26:33,410 --> 01:26:36,561 lf Patton were alive, he would slap your face. 1032 01:26:39,810 --> 01:26:41,004 As you were. 1033 01:26:45,410 --> 01:26:46,729 Captain Lewis. 1034 01:26:48,770 --> 01:26:52,285 Private Benjamin has made herself vulnerable to a Red, sir. 1035 01:26:52,530 --> 01:26:53,679 l read the report. 1036 01:26:53,930 --> 01:26:54,885 lt's not true, sir. 1037 01:26:55,130 --> 01:26:59,408 We're not blind to the fact that half of Europe is Communistic. 1038 01:27:00,530 --> 01:27:02,760 But here at S.H.A.P.E. they're still the enemy. 1039 01:27:03,450 --> 01:27:05,008 General Foley, Henri Tremont... 1040 01:27:05,250 --> 01:27:08,526 ...is not a Communist. He's a gynecologist. 1041 01:27:09,530 --> 01:27:11,760 Captain Lewis is hung up on a technicality. 1042 01:27:12,090 --> 01:27:16,208 l'm sorry, but it's against regulations for you to associate with this man. 1043 01:27:17,170 --> 01:27:19,445 You're up for a promotion. 1044 01:27:19,690 --> 01:27:22,841 l'd hate to see this incident jeopardize your career. 1045 01:27:24,010 --> 01:27:25,966 What are you trying to tell me, sir? 1046 01:27:27,530 --> 01:27:29,168 lt's either him... 1047 01:27:29,450 --> 01:27:30,439 ...or us. 1048 01:27:54,730 --> 01:27:56,766 - Can't you hear? - Can't you move? 1049 01:28:03,010 --> 01:28:04,409 lt's Judy. 1050 01:28:04,650 --> 01:28:05,605 Judy who? 1051 01:28:06,450 --> 01:28:08,680 Darling, how are you? 1052 01:28:09,970 --> 01:28:10,800 What? 1053 01:28:17,090 --> 01:28:18,648 She's getting married. 1054 01:28:34,170 --> 01:28:37,321 Monsieur Shiffman! Thank God! 1055 01:28:42,570 --> 01:28:45,038 Listen, the tablecloths... 1056 01:28:49,250 --> 01:28:53,129 ...they're terrible. The color, la couleur, is all wrong. 1057 01:28:56,410 --> 01:28:59,482 The wedding is in yellow... 1058 01:29:00,050 --> 01:29:02,245 ...and butterscotch. 1059 01:29:03,330 --> 01:29:06,163 And right now l'm looking at something entre... 1060 01:29:06,410 --> 01:29:09,004 ...canari et banane. 1061 01:29:09,410 --> 01:29:10,286 Gabby! 1062 01:29:12,610 --> 01:29:13,759 Pardon, Madame! 1063 01:29:14,810 --> 01:29:17,244 l get the Hoover. 1064 01:29:22,210 --> 01:29:24,804 Was she a good maid before she met me? 1065 01:29:26,770 --> 01:29:29,682 ls it smart to fire the maid just before the wedding? 1066 01:29:30,130 --> 01:29:32,166 Especially with your parents coming. 1067 01:29:32,530 --> 01:29:35,886 Okay, she stays until after the wedding. 1068 01:29:38,170 --> 01:29:40,126 You look very beautiful today. 1069 01:29:41,170 --> 01:29:42,489 So do you. 1070 01:29:43,210 --> 01:29:45,360 What did your friends say when they called? 1071 01:29:45,610 --> 01:29:48,329 They're coming over on Army Transport next week. 1072 01:29:48,570 --> 01:29:51,368 l can't wait to see them. lt's going to be so much fun. 1073 01:29:51,610 --> 01:29:53,885 And Glass is learning French! 1074 01:30:02,770 --> 01:30:04,601 Honey, who was that? 1075 01:30:06,210 --> 01:30:08,041 lt was Claire. 1076 01:30:11,610 --> 01:30:12,838 Claire? 1077 01:30:25,010 --> 01:30:27,046 Get over this obsession with Claire. 1078 01:30:27,370 --> 01:30:29,406 You stood with your tongue hanging out. 1079 01:30:29,730 --> 01:30:31,448 l was surprised to see her. 1080 01:30:31,690 --> 01:30:34,762 Surprised? l'd call it catatonic. 1081 01:30:35,010 --> 01:30:38,605 You don't see me getting hung up on your old boyfriends and husbands. 1082 01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:40,203 Do you? 1083 01:30:41,970 --> 01:30:43,369 Listen to me. 1084 01:30:43,650 --> 01:30:44,685 Come here. 1085 01:30:46,890 --> 01:30:47,766 l love you. 1086 01:30:48,370 --> 01:30:50,361 We're getting married in a week. 1087 01:30:57,850 --> 01:30:59,442 l want to have a baby with you. 1088 01:31:02,090 --> 01:31:03,159 You do? 1089 01:31:04,810 --> 01:31:06,482 Oh, honey! 1090 01:31:07,690 --> 01:31:09,248 l'd love to have a baby. 1091 01:31:10,690 --> 01:31:12,328 l thought l was getting too old. 1092 01:31:16,330 --> 01:31:17,968 A baby! 1093 01:31:21,250 --> 01:31:24,128 - l want us to be together always. - We will! 1094 01:31:30,410 --> 01:31:32,366 lt's the reality of things sometimes... 1095 01:31:32,610 --> 01:31:36,319 ...they don't always work out exactly as they are planned, so.... 1096 01:31:37,570 --> 01:31:39,083 What are you saying? 1097 01:31:41,890 --> 01:31:43,960 - l want you to sign this. - What is it? 1098 01:31:44,210 --> 01:31:46,087 Contrat de mariage. 1099 01:31:47,050 --> 01:31:49,689 A letter of financial agreement. 1100 01:31:50,330 --> 01:31:54,608 God forbid something should happen to us. lt just helps us stay friends. 1101 01:31:56,290 --> 01:31:58,645 l want to be your wife, not your friend. 1102 01:31:58,930 --> 01:32:02,718 lt's fair. l allocated for myself what was mine before our marriage. 1103 01:32:03,290 --> 01:32:05,360 You cannot expect me to give you... 1104 01:32:05,610 --> 01:32:09,444 ...half of a house that's been in my family for centuries. 1105 01:32:13,170 --> 01:32:16,446 We don't need this kind of thing between us. We'll make it. 1106 01:32:17,370 --> 01:32:19,247 l can't get married without it. 1107 01:32:28,890 --> 01:32:30,721 lt's in French. 1108 01:32:30,970 --> 01:32:32,369 Please. 1109 01:32:50,250 --> 01:32:52,320 Private Benjamin? 1110 01:32:52,570 --> 01:32:54,925 Did l write that? l'm sorry. 1111 01:32:55,170 --> 01:32:56,762 l'll just cross it out. 1112 01:33:01,810 --> 01:33:03,448 lnitial it. 1113 01:33:17,170 --> 01:33:19,525 Where shall we go tonight? Regine's? 1114 01:33:34,250 --> 01:33:37,720 Took Henri's car to the shop. Made Henri's hair appointment. 1115 01:33:37,970 --> 01:33:39,767 Took Max to the vet. 1116 01:33:40,010 --> 01:33:42,365 Picked up Henri's soccer uniform. 1117 01:33:48,890 --> 01:33:52,121 You've got to remember that l used to be a very active person. 1118 01:33:52,370 --> 01:33:54,520 l was jumping out of airplanes... 1119 01:33:54,770 --> 01:33:57,728 ...and at S.H.A.P.E. it was like nonstop chaos. 1120 01:33:57,970 --> 01:34:00,245 You're not thinking about opening a store? 1121 01:34:00,490 --> 01:34:02,321 No, you were right about that. 1122 01:34:02,570 --> 01:34:05,960 lt would've been too much of a hassle to do. lt was a bad idea. 1123 01:34:06,210 --> 01:34:09,759 But there have to be other choices. 1124 01:34:10,010 --> 01:34:12,319 Do you know what l did today? 1125 01:34:13,490 --> 01:34:15,481 l rearranged my closet. 1126 01:34:15,730 --> 01:34:17,083 For three hours. 1127 01:34:17,330 --> 01:34:20,481 There's definitely something wrong with that, isn't there? 1128 01:34:22,450 --> 01:34:24,805 - Am l making sense? - No. 1129 01:34:25,690 --> 01:34:27,442 And that's what l love about you. 1130 01:34:30,650 --> 01:34:33,005 This is the color of hair l was talking about. 1131 01:34:34,610 --> 01:34:36,601 l don't know. Maybe. 1132 01:34:38,570 --> 01:34:39,889 l love it. 1133 01:35:06,570 --> 01:35:08,606 Rita Hayworth, l swear to God! 1134 01:35:08,850 --> 01:35:11,762 - l wouldn't have recognized you. - You look stunning! 1135 01:35:12,010 --> 01:35:15,286 Turn around, let me see the outfit. Oh God, doll! Gorgeous! 1136 01:35:15,530 --> 01:35:16,963 lt's an absolute vision. 1137 01:35:17,210 --> 01:35:19,246 Her hair is the worst! 1138 01:35:19,490 --> 01:35:23,529 To see you looking like your old self again, you have no idea! 1139 01:35:23,770 --> 01:35:25,567 Who knows what we'd do in her place. 1140 01:35:26,650 --> 01:35:29,403 The important thing is, Judy's Judy again. 1141 01:35:29,650 --> 01:35:34,041 - Truthfully, you don't miss the Army? - What's to miss? $400 a month? 1142 01:35:34,290 --> 01:35:37,168 The only good thing about it was that what's-her-name. 1143 01:35:37,410 --> 01:35:38,729 Captain Lewis? 1144 01:35:39,290 --> 01:35:42,441 l hope her coat's good enough. l had no idea it'd be so chilly. 1145 01:35:42,690 --> 01:35:47,320 - lt's November here, Kissy. - lt's November everywhere, genius! 1146 01:35:55,850 --> 01:35:56,999 Sit! 1147 01:35:58,570 --> 01:36:00,720 l was talking to Max. 1148 01:36:03,130 --> 01:36:05,121 lt's good to see you up. 1149 01:36:06,370 --> 01:36:08,486 Excuse me for interrupting. 1150 01:36:09,530 --> 01:36:11,122 Does this belong to anyone? 1151 01:36:11,370 --> 01:36:14,009 Because l'm positive it isn't mine. 1152 01:36:14,250 --> 01:36:16,002 Oui, Madame. Where did you find it? 1153 01:36:16,250 --> 01:36:17,763 Where you left eet! 1154 01:36:18,090 --> 01:36:20,809 May l ask what you were doing in my bed?! 1155 01:36:21,050 --> 01:36:23,644 l was not in your bed, madame. l make your bed. 1156 01:36:25,170 --> 01:36:26,649 lt must have fallen. 1157 01:36:27,730 --> 01:36:28,640 What are you doing? 1158 01:36:28,890 --> 01:36:31,688 l would like to know how this item got into my bed. 1159 01:36:35,970 --> 01:36:39,485 This is too much! Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross. 1160 01:36:46,330 --> 01:36:48,719 What should l think? She's the world's worst maid! 1161 01:36:48,970 --> 01:36:50,562 Enough! Please! 1162 01:36:54,130 --> 01:36:58,362 What's gotten into you lately? lt's like l live with the kid from the Exorcist ! 1163 01:36:59,530 --> 01:37:01,885 Two weeks ago l was like a god to you! 1164 01:37:02,170 --> 01:37:03,728 Now you show me no respect. 1165 01:37:04,410 --> 01:37:05,889 l respect you. 1166 01:37:06,210 --> 01:37:10,522 Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle! You think l'm so low l'd seduce a child? 1167 01:37:13,250 --> 01:37:14,160 Do you? 1168 01:37:19,210 --> 01:37:21,360 Honey, l'm nervous. 1169 01:37:22,090 --> 01:37:24,160 l'm very nervous. 1170 01:37:24,410 --> 01:37:28,483 And l know that once we get married everything is going to be fine. 1171 01:37:28,730 --> 01:37:30,322 l'm sorry. 1172 01:37:39,250 --> 01:37:42,845 l fly 6,000 miles to attend my daughter's wedding... 1173 01:37:43,090 --> 01:37:44,887 ...and the groom is playing soccer! 1174 01:37:45,130 --> 01:37:48,247 Daddy, he'll be here any minute. He probably went into overtime. 1175 01:37:48,570 --> 01:37:50,720 Monsieur, my son is very reliable. 1176 01:37:50,970 --> 01:37:53,723 - He will be here shortly. - lt just isn't right! 1177 01:37:58,770 --> 01:38:00,249 Jean-Paul! 1178 01:38:05,010 --> 01:38:06,409 Where is Henri? 1179 01:38:07,050 --> 01:38:09,883 The bum never showed up for the game. lsn't he here? 1180 01:38:11,010 --> 01:38:12,079 No. 1181 01:38:12,410 --> 01:38:13,445 He never showed up? 1182 01:38:16,770 --> 01:38:20,001 Judy, don't hate me for saying this or nothing... 1183 01:38:20,250 --> 01:38:24,402 ...but you really might be better-off. 1184 01:38:24,650 --> 01:38:26,481 Don't be ridiculous! 1185 01:38:28,170 --> 01:38:32,641 l don't know how to say this, but you were starting to act a bit weird again. 1186 01:38:32,890 --> 01:38:34,960 What am l going to do? l'm a wreck. 1187 01:38:35,690 --> 01:38:37,009 He's back! 1188 01:38:41,690 --> 01:38:43,203 You look perfect. 1189 01:38:43,450 --> 01:38:45,008 - Where were you? - l'm fine. 1190 01:38:45,250 --> 01:38:47,923 No, where were you? l was so scared. 1191 01:38:48,170 --> 01:38:51,367 - You don't want to know this. - l do want to know. 1192 01:38:53,890 --> 01:38:55,687 l had to see Claire. 1193 01:38:58,330 --> 01:38:59,285 You were with Claire? 1194 01:38:59,530 --> 01:39:03,125 She is in so much trouble. You've no idea what l've been through. 1195 01:39:03,370 --> 01:39:07,124 There are 75 people waiting for you. Couldn't you have phoned? 1196 01:39:07,370 --> 01:39:10,840 - Don't bad French artists have phones? - She was overwrought. 1197 01:39:11,170 --> 01:39:15,049 Her boyfriend beat her up. l prescribed a sedative for her to sleep. 1198 01:39:15,290 --> 01:39:17,724 That takes 2 minutes, you were gone 4 hours. 1199 01:39:17,970 --> 01:39:20,484 The place was a mess. l hung up clothes and did dishes. 1200 01:39:20,730 --> 01:39:22,846 You did Claire's dishes? 1201 01:39:24,650 --> 01:39:27,323 Shall l stop being nice to people because we're marrying? 1202 01:39:27,850 --> 01:39:31,001 l just don't understand how you could be with Claire... 1203 01:39:31,450 --> 01:39:32,280 ...today. 1204 01:39:32,530 --> 01:39:34,998 You want to walk down the aisle with me or not? 1205 01:41:09,290 --> 01:41:11,599 Not so fast. 1206 01:41:13,810 --> 01:41:17,564 l know this is a very awkward time to do this... 1207 01:41:18,730 --> 01:41:20,004 ...but l want to break up. 1208 01:41:20,290 --> 01:41:21,962 She's crazy again. 1209 01:41:22,690 --> 01:41:23,839 Listen to me. 1210 01:41:24,130 --> 01:41:28,646 You're having an anxiety attack. l'll give you a shot to calm down. 1211 01:41:28,890 --> 01:41:31,882 No, l want to be perfectly conscious when l call a cab. 1212 01:41:32,130 --> 01:41:35,520 What are you doing to me? What is this about? Gabrielle? 1213 01:41:36,210 --> 01:41:38,804 l slept with her one night when you were acting crazy. 1214 01:41:40,090 --> 01:41:42,445 We'll fire her after the wedding. 1215 01:41:45,850 --> 01:41:47,203 You're such a schmuck! 1216 01:41:49,490 --> 01:41:50,320 Daddy... 1217 01:41:50,570 --> 01:41:52,720 ...Mom just fainted. 1218 01:41:54,090 --> 01:41:55,409 Schmuck?! 1219 01:41:56,490 --> 01:41:58,845 When l met you, you were in the Army. 1220 01:41:59,210 --> 01:42:01,519 You were nothing, picking up strangers in bars! 1221 01:42:01,770 --> 01:42:03,840 - Now just a minute! - She was. 1222 01:42:04,330 --> 01:42:07,800 l'll give you a future, a home, a name. For once don't be stupid! 1223 01:42:09,130 --> 01:42:10,483 - There's Claire. - Where? 1224 01:42:17,290 --> 01:42:18,325 Don't call me stupid. 1225 01:45:25,250 --> 01:45:27,241 Subtitled by: GELULA & CO., lNC. 91022