All language subtitles for Mom.S05E19.HDTV.x264-SVA[ettv]

What
are you still doing here?

- What do you mean?
- Well, don't you have school?

- Nope.
- What about work?

I killed myself
studying for the LSATs.

I'm taking a few days off.

So you're just gonna be...

here?

That's the plan.

Huh.

What's she doing home?

She's taking a few days off.

So she's just gonna be...
here?

Am I really that big
of a monkey wrench?

No, don't be silly.
Listen, I'm gonna split.

Sorry, honey.
I'm as blindsided as you are.

Adam, I didn't mean
to chase you out.

Oh, no, it's not about you,
Christy. Call me if she leaves.

What the hell goes
on here when I'm gone?

Don't ask the question

if you don't want to
picture the answer.

I watch The View at 11:00.
Is that gonna be a problem?

Can I watch with you?

Geez. Now there's
someone at the door?

This day is a disaster.

Yeah?

I'm sorry to bother you.
Are you the building manager?

- Maybe. You a cop?
- Do I look like a cop?

The good ones don't.

Well, actually, I saw the
vacancy sign out front,

and I'm interested
in the apartment.

Oh, great. Two bedroom,
two bath,

first and last,
you know the drill.

Can you be any more specific?

Uh, square footage,
building amenities?

Square footage,
I would say medium.

And, uh, as for amenities,

there's a weird guy
on the third floor

who'll rub your feet
if you let him.

I have a dog. Is that okay?

The building owner
doesn't allow pets,

but if you slip me 50 bucks,
we never had this conversation.

- So it'll be our little secret?
- What? Who?

See? That's what your $50 buys.

Well, this has been fun.

I'm Rita Gennaro,

the new owner of this building,

and we are off to a
very poor start.

Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

- What is wrong with you?
- I don't know. I panicked.

You threw my whole day off.

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*MOM*
Season 05 Episode 19

Episode Title :
"A Taco Bowl and a Tubby Seamstress"

Here you go. If it's
not how you like it,

I'll make a new pot.
Please don't fire my mother.

You're sweet. We'll see.

So, how'd you end up
owning the building?

What happened to Tony,
who I never saw

except when he brought
me my Christmas bonus?

My husband ran off with
a home-wrecking slut.

Oh, no. Well, does that mean

you'll be bringing
me my Christmas bonus?

You know, I'm divorced, too,

so I know what you're

- wrestling with.
- Do I care about your life?

Nope. No, you don't,
and you shouldn't.

So, what went down with Tony,
whose toupee is no secret?

He woke up one day and told me,

"I'm leaving you for
the dry cleaner."

I just thought he was
announcing his errands

in a very formal way.

And then my world fell apart.

Your dry cleaner is a woman?

That's the interesting
part of the story for you?

You just don't see it that often.

It's like a kindergarten
teacher who's a man.

Not wrong, just weird.

Do you get money from
the state to keep her?

I should, shouldn't I?

Well, Rita, this has been a treat.

Definitely pop in
every couple of months.

We'd love to see you.

- I'm not done.
- And she's not done.

I want this building
to generate income,

and if we clean it up,
I can raise the rent.

I could understand if he left
me for some hot young thing,

but she's a tubby seamstress

with a mole the size
of Coney Island.

So sorry you're going through

- such a...
- Are we friends all of a sudden?

Well, I thought we shared a moment.

We didn't.

Now, I got a list of things
I need you to take care of.

Yikes. Both sides, huh?

Can I hire someone to do this work?

- I already did hire someone.
- Oh, great.

Oh.

I'll be back Friday to
check on the progress.

Or you could go on a long cruise.

Lot of people get a second
chance of love on those things.

- Friday!
- Cruise!

Let me show you what I
think about this list.

What is the matter with you?

If she fires you, we lose our home.

Hold that thought.

Hi, honey.

Yeah, she's still here.

Oh, my God.

Are you actually
working on the list?

Yeah. I got to thinking

if I do one or two
of the easy ones,

it'll get her off of
my ass for a while.

Is that duct tape?

Hey, I've never used a hammer here.

I'm not gonna break my streak now.

Well, at least I have

a nice, new car to live in.

Come on, baby.

Just till Friday.

Hey, watch your step, Mr. Munson.

I'm on a ladder over here.

Let me guess, you're
finally hanging yourself?

Not yet.

I'm doing repairs
around the building.

I figured you'd hang
yourself before you did that.

- Ha-ha-ha.
- Hmm.

I'm coming up in a couple hours
to install your smoke detector,

so make sure you're wearing pants.

I could say the same thing to you.

Get ready, Match.com.

Whoa, that's a lot of nose.

Rita, hi.

Oh, look who's a girl.

Yeah, I'm just trying
to take a picture

for a dating site.

I found my son doing
that same thing.

His makeup was more subtle.

Well, I recently broke
up with someone,

so, you know, I'm trying
to get back out there and...

We're not bonding here.

I found another leak
in the laundry room.

The banister on the
back staircase is loose.

Why aren't you writing this down?

Okay.

Leak, banister.

Anything else?

Would I keep it a secret?

Right.

Hey, listen, um,

I know this is a little
weird, but since you're here,

could you help me get a picture?

My arms aren't long enough
to make my nose look normal.

Okay. I want to look
pretty, but not slutty.

Available, but not desperate.

- Smart, but not...
- There.

But I wasn't quite...

Wow, that's perfect.

I hope you find someone
quickly

because at the rate
your mother's going,

you're going to need to
find a new place to live.

No, no, no, no, she
is trying so hard.

She really does love this job.

And my husband loved me.

Things change.

Tell your mother

if she doesn't complete
the repairs in three days,

she's out.

But if you kick her out,

you're gonna have to kick me out.

Maybe the new building manager
can let you live with them.

You could be like the cat
that comes with the apartment.

No, no, she's gonna do it.
You'll see.

She's not nearly as
incompetent as you might think.

Was that the light?

I'm adding it to the list.

Oh!

Is she gone?

Where'd you come from?

I saw her car out front,
so I snuck around back.

Corn dog?

Ah, look at this.

"Take pictures of work when
you're finished and send to me"?

Who does she think she is?

I got your first
picture right here.

- Mom.
- Oh, right.

- Whoa!
- No! No!

Oh. You mean don't do it.

Sorry, Bonnie, but I'm with Rita.

If I don't crack the
whip with my staff,

my swans will never get fed.

Oh, you and your
relatable problems.

You've been managing this
building for four years.

You know the job. Why are you
fighting so hard against it?

Oh, look who's found something
to sink her dentures into.

And I already ordered,
so I can't leave.

Why are you sweating about this?

Just do your job.

Says the woman whose
only job is shopping.

Hey, I am at those stores

every morning at 10:00 a.m.
when they open up.

I would've fired you days ago.

I would've fired her years ago.

I would've never hired her in
the first place.

You know what, I don't have to sit
here and listen to this.

Screw you all. Waitress, I'd like
my taco bowl in the bathroom.

Well, this was not a good plan.

- Bonnie...
- No.

Why do I keep locking
myself into smaller spaces?

Go away!

I'm not going anywhere.

Well, then I guess I live here now.

What are you doing, Bonnie?

Oh, don't go all
Marjorie on me please.

I hate my boss.

There's no underlying
blah, blah, blah.

Oh, there's always
underlying blah, blah, blah.

- Are you trying to blow up your life?
- No!

Okay, let's play a game.

- Pretend I'm your boss.
- Good-bye.

That job puts a roof
over your head.

Why are you so
resistant to doing it?

Because I hate it!

It's humiliating!

I'm in my 50s, and I'm
plunging toilets.

- This was not the dream, Marge.
- Okay, what is the dream?

Well, I don't know,
but it doesn't involve

chasing raccoons out
of a garbage closet.

But that is the job.

Right. And if I do it well,

then I'll be doing it
for the rest of my life,

and then that's just who I am.

Damn it,

we just found the
underlying blah, blah, blah.

Look, you might not be
doing what you want to

with your life, but
that's not Rita's fault.

Shut up.

Bonnie, the job isn't who you are.

It's just what you're doing

on the road to what
you're gonna be.

I said shut up.

Did you actually want this in here?

No fork? What am I, an animal?

Got to say, these
things are a lot easier

to drag without a body inside.

Adam, what the hell are you doing?

Fixing the fountain.

All I said was clean
out the leaves.

I told you above and
beyond makes her mad.

I just think if this was level

and the tubing was replaced,

that I could get it working again.

You could even have fish in here.

Fish? She barely kept me alive.

What will you talk about

when you finally
forgive me for the past?

I'm not overly concerned.

Just shove that thing
back on the wall.

Hey, you know, don't
ask for my help

if you don't want
the job done right.

Oh, God, Rita's coming.

How do you know?

All the birds just
flew out of that tree.

Rita, hi. What a lovely
giant flower sweater.

I thought I made it clear
I'm not paying for extra help.

Oh, don't worry, I pay him
in sex and her in Doritos.

Cool Ranch, family size.

So you two are together?

Yes, this is Adam, my fiancé.

- Hi, good to meet you...
- Let me see the ring.

Nice. Just be careful
where you send his shirts.

Rita, I want to apologize

if I seemed a little resistant

to what... are obviously necessary
upgrades to our lovely building.

You are the boss, so
what you say goes.

Thank you for understanding

what everyone else who has
a job already understands.

Oh, my God, I got a
match on Match. I matched.

Is it desperate if I
call him right now?

I don't, I don't care.

You've done such a
wonderful job with her.

Now, I've been looking
over the rent receipts

and we have a few
tenants that are behind.

Anyone who owes more
than two months,

- get the money or evict them.
- Not a problem.

I have some experience
shaking down people for money.

As part of my extensive...
charity work.

Yes, that fits perfectly with
everything I know about you.

Funny one, boss.

I'll find out whose bike that is.

Wow, Bonnie, you
handled that great.

Oh, good, you're impressed.
What the hell do I care?

- Why are you snapping at me?
- Because I can't snap at her.

I love you, you're sweet.

Hey.

Quick question, am
I desperate enough

to have frozen yogurt
with a magician?

I don't care.

Hi, Mr. Mysterio, it's a go.

Three months? I thought I
was only two months behind.

Sorry to bring it up,

it's just the new owner
is kind of cracking down.

So... where do you hide the cash?

Cereal box? Cookie jar?

Stuffed inside a frozen chicken?

Thieves never look
inside a chicken.

You know what, I'm out of checks.

How 'bout I get it to
you later this week?

I kind of need it now.

I could drive you to the bank.

I don't have it, Bonnie.

You mean like on the
level you don't have it?

I don't know if you're looking
at me, but I'm shaking my head.

You've lived here for
a hundred years,

you're never late with the rent.

Hang on, you just put
two of the big ones

in the Thursday slot.
Is that right?

It is if I want to
sleep till Sunday.

- Let me do this.
- Yeah.

- One in each?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks.

I'm not, uh, concentrating
too good right now.

So what's going on?

Well, a couple of months
ago, I got diagnosed with, uh,

prostate cancer.

They found it early,

but they put me on a
couple of medications

the VA doesn't cover, so...

You can't pay your rent.

Oh, I could pay it, but then
I'd have a whole lot of cancer.

Sorry.

These ones are... Monday,
Wednesday, and-and Friday.

There's got to be
something you can do.

Well, I've been trying to
avoid the building manager,

but here you are.

Son of a bitch.

- We just took a break.
- It's been two minutes.

- Not you. Munson.
- Who's Munson?

- Blind guy who lives upstairs.
- Oh, I like him.

One day we were hanging out
in front of the building,

we made five bucks
for doing nothing.

You guys should go out
there till he makes his rent

'cause he's three months behind.

And he won't pay?

He can't. I'm not evicting a
blind veteran who has cancer.

- I'm not doing it.
- He's got cancer?

Prostate. And you're getting
a full physical, mister,

including the finger thing.

And don't pinch up, they
got to really look around.

Anyway, Munson can't
afford his meds and rent.

He's got no family,
no support system.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna try to talk
some sense into Rita.

Calmly and rationally? Please?

Look, I made peace with
the fact that eating crap

is part of my job, but this
is where I draw the line.

Yeah, that's right, I
draw a line sometimes.

See, now, that didn't
sound calm and rational.

That sounded hot and
"we get kicked out-y."

You're right, you're right.

It just burns me up that-that
rich people like Rita

run everything and people
like us and Munson get screwed.

I did stunts on a movie
like this one time.

It was called Ski Academy.

The rich kids wouldn't let the
poor kids be on the ski patrol.

The poor kids turned off
the power to the lift,

so the rich kids got stuck.

Anyway, I got it on VHS
if anybody wants to see it.

Here we are.

I've got two kinds of
cookies, some cheese,

and a rogue chicken nugget.

Can I get you anything
else or are you good?

I'm swaddled in luxury.

Now why am I here?

Here's the thing.

One of the tenants you asked
me to evict is Mr. Munson in 2G.

He's a blind Vietnam vet who's
now facing a health crisis.

And while you're the boss,

and I'm on board with that,

I got to respectfully say...
can we talk about this a second?

No. I can't afford to know
these people as people.

- I'm running a business here.
- But they are people.

If I make an exception for every
sad story, where does it end?

Have you looked at this building?

If you live here, you
have a sad story.

And now I rely on this building

to survive. That's my sad story.

We are this close to
having a working fountain.

I'm done talking.

Evict him, or I'll
find somebody who will.

Well, then...

I quit.

I may hate my job, but I
don't have to hate myself.

And by the way,
whatever part of you

that's comfortable throwing
a blind man out on the street

is maybe the part your
husband ran screaming from.

I'm sorry, I know this screws
us, but I just couldn't do it.

No, no, no, don't be sorry.

I'm so glad you didn't let her
turn you into a horrible person.

Well, back into one.

And maybe we end up crashing
at Adam's for a while.

Totally.

Sure.

I'm not heartless.

I just don't know what
the hell I'm doing.

I'm alone, I'm scared.

I haven't worked in 32 years,

and now I got to run this crap-box.

I mean, is this who I am now?

No, no, it's not who you are.

It's just what you're doing on
the road to who you're gonna be.

What?

Okay, your husband left you, but
that's not Mr. Munson's fault.

Just like it's not your fault

that I'm not doing
what I want to do.

It made sense in the bathroom.

Look, two strong,
smart women like us

can put our heads together and
come up with a reasonable plan

where you get the rent
you so richly deserve

and he gets to keep his apartment.

I'd be open to that.

- Thank you.
- I'm not a monster.

Though there is a kid
on the third floor

with a bunny that needs to go.

You got it, the kid's out of here.

- I meant the bunny.
- Better.

This is working out a
lot like Ski Academy.

The discount card we
found in the mail

actually did work for
your prescription. Mm.

The GoFundMe page
is... hanging in there.

It might've helped if you hadn't
paraded around the building

wearing a "No Fat Chicks" T-shirt.

Well, how the hell am I supposed
to know what my T-shirts say?

And for the record, I do like
a little meat on the bones.

Well, I'll try and
get the word out.

I'll also help you run errands so
you don't have to take a cab. - Mm.

And Rita is willing to let you
pay off the back rent over time.

Mm. So this Rita...

is she a good-looking woman?

- Yeah, she's very...
- What the hell?!

You didn't tell me the
little one was here!

You want to give him
a heart attack?

You know
he can't afford that.

Yes!

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