All language subtitles for Lucifer - 03x22 - All Hands on Decker.AVS-SVA.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

- Previously on Lucifer...
- You are my brother

and my test. So what's the plan?

We need to make

the detective realize

that Pierce isn't the man

she thinks he is.

If we don't get Chloe to love you,

then I can't kill you,

and I need this to get back to Hell.

I like you, Charlotte.

So, if you need time, I can wait.

You're worth it.

What do you desire?

- I want her to choose me.
- Then tell her.

Chloe Decker, will you marry me?

Yes.

WOMAN: Are you listening?

Get a move on.

What part of

"she can't perform without
it" do you not understand?

Great. Just great.

This is the agility trials
in San Fran all over again.

♪ I can see ahead of
me, I run it, run it... ♪

[SIGHS]

Run.

Run!

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh ♪

This is an heirloom.

Only the best for Bootsie.

[GROWLS SOFTLY]

ANNOUNCER: And now, introducing
last year's grand prize winner,

Bootsie.

Situation sorted.

WOMAN: You wish.

Cornelia's up next and
no one's laid eyes on her.

[SIGHS]

♪ Get what you want ♪

Ms. Cornelia, showtime.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh. ♪

Ms. Cornelia?

ELLA: [SQUEALS] Oh, my God!

Wowzers.

That is some rock, girlfriend.

It is exciting, isn't it?

Um, yeah, I mean, heart
melting, brain exploding.

Wait, clock's ticking.

How much time do we
have before the big day?

- Three...
- Months?

Weeks, actually.

What? That is not enough time to plan.

Well, Marcus and I thought why wait?

When you know, you know, right?

I'm not talking about the wedding.

No, I am talking about
the bachelorette party.

Well, it's the second wedding.

- Do I need one?
- Uh, yeah, you do.

It sets the foundation for
your whole support system.

And trust me, you're gonna need one

for the dark days to
come 'cause, I mean,

sleeping with the same dude

[WHISPERS]: for the rest of your life?

Even hot gets boring, Chloe.

Dark days ahead, indeed.

I may have to take my chances.

Uh, Decker.

All of my life, I have been dreaming

of the chance to plan
a bachelorette party.

But four brothers.

Remember?

And you're the closest thing
I have to a sister right now.

Well... [SIGHS]

I guess if you're gonna
play the sister card.

Yes!

Oh, wait. Let's talk theme.

The bachelorette and
wedding should match.

You know, color palette,
dress, cake, venue, flowers...

Playlist, DJ, tuxedo,

- marriage license.
- Right.

We have the nice bottle

of single malt for the bar,

which is gonna be open,

which means we need to
get a couple bartenders.

This is a lot, isn't it?

It's, uh... [CHUCKLES]

Do you think we should
maybe postpone the date?

Is that what you want?

No. No.

Totally and completely no.

I... unless...

- unless you do.
- Absolutely not.

I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.

I mean, look, we solve murders.

How hard can it be to
plan one little wedding?

Yeah. But I think I know what'll help.

- Hmm?
- I recently discovered that a certain detective

has weeks of unused vacation days.

Couple days away from the office
might give you time to plan.

Chloe said yes?

- To marry Pierce?
- It's mind-boggling,

I know.

I mean, when I said I was at peace

with the detective
making her own choices,

it didn't occur to me

that she'd be capable of making
such a spectacularly bad one.

I mean,

why on earth?

Why is besides the point, Luci.

We can't allow this to happen.

Oh, I like this new you.

I wish you'd realized I
was your test eons ago.

Luci, it is God's will that you

- and Chloe...
- Yeah, don't ruin it.

I'm just happy

that we're on the same side for once.

So, what's the plan?

The plan... is simple.

The plan is simple.

I'm going to try to understand why

the detective would want to marry

that overstuffed man ham

and then make her see she's deranged.

Or you could just tell her how you feel.

I already missed my window
for that, unfortunately.

He's weaseled his way into her heart,

and I don't understand how,

but I need to.

Well, good luck.

And I will come up with a
plan that will actually work.

Of course you will.

[CHUCKLES]

Ah, Detective.

- You look nice.
- Thank you.

Uh, anyway, since changes are afoot,

I'd like to address things head-on.

Oh. Well, that's oddly mature of you.

And it's... it's nice to know

that you're not gonna
start acting all weird.

[LAUGHS, EXHALES]

Oh, what's this? Is
this an engagement gift?

It's much better than that.
It's a personality test.

So I can understand why
you do the things you do

and, uh, decide the things you decide.

A personality test?

So much for not acting weird.

What? You know, to help
optimize our partnership.

Okay, well, it's gonna have to wait,

because I am taking some
time off to plan the wedding.

I... Well, how am I supposed
to get inside your head

if I can't watch you at work?

The job is who you are, Detective.

Well, how about you watch Dan.

Because my cases have been reassigned,

and I'm sure he'd appreciate the help.

Well, looks like it's
you and me, Lucinda.

Yippee.

♪ ♪

- And then there's potential reason number 54...
- 55.

55 the detective would accept
Pierce's proposal: drugs.

EUI... Engaged Under the Influence.

Or craziest reason yet:

maybe Chloe said yes
because it's what she wants.

Well, maybe it's what
she thinks she wants,

but does she know
what she truly desires?

'Cause few do unless I help them.

And unfortunately, I
can't do that with her.

Not peony, penis.

Peni... Yeah, sure, I'll hold.

Vic is Francis Hoffman.

Time of death roughly 9:00 a.m.

- Husband's on his way now.
- LUCIFER: Right.

Well, aren't you gonna ask

about these suspicious paw prints?

The detective certainly would.

The prints belong to Cornelia,
the vic's prizewinning Mastiff.

Currently AWOL, though.

Ah, right. A canine killer.

Seems they can't trust you
with a real homicide, Daniel.

Nope. The bitch is innocent.

Cause of death was blunt force trauma,

so the killer is human.

You can rush the order?

Awesome!

Okay.

It's all in here.

- Oh.
- I got me

a penis piñata to pick up.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Right, well, by now, the detective

- would have formulated a working theory, so...
- Listen, dude.

I know you're going through stuff

with this whole
Chloe-getting-engaged thing,

but I can't have you
second-guessing my every move.

Chloe has her reasons for making
the decisions that she makes,

and I have mine.

Only one of us can be detective.

- You're right.
- Yeah.

That is the perfect way to
understand the detective.

I'm gonna take the lead and be her.

Right.

That is not what I meant.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

Francis loved the beach.

We just celebrated our sixth
wedding anniversary in Malibu.

Two daddies and one fur baby.

Has there been any sign of her?

Cornelia's all I have left.

Not yet, but my job
means everything to me.

Solving murders is my one true passion,

and as such, I promise you
that I will find Cornelia

and get justice for your
slaughtered husband...

because I am empathetic.

I care.

Yeah.

Will you excuse us for
just a second, please?

Thought you never lied.

What? I do care...

about channeling the detective

so I can find out why she
does the things she does

- and makes the decisions she makes.
- Okay, look.

Whatever it is, we
still have to do our job.

You know, like asking
questions relating to the crime.

- Okay? Just let me handle this.
- [SIGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT] Uh, Frederick?

Do you know of anyone who
had a beef with Francis?

Anyone who would want to hurt him?

Oh, right, that is exactly

the sort of futile question

the detective would ask.

- Do you?
- I mean,

everyone loved Francis.

But he did get into an argument
with someone in the parking lot

of the training center last week.

- Did you get a name?
- No, I...

I thought they were just
arguing about a parking spot.

But I did take down the license plate

in case he came back to key the car...

if that's helpful?

Is that helpful?

Yeah.

Right. Thank you.

I got your message

about the engagement.

Plan's back on, right?

Whoa, easy, there.

Oh, relax. I'm not gonna do it here.

I mean, I remember the plan.

Kill you, frame Lucifer,
blah, blah, blah.

I'm just really excited.

Well, that's not why I called you.

I called to apologize.

Apologize about what?

I don't want to die anymore.

I'm in love with Chloe.
I want to be with her.

I-I know you don't understand.

I hardly do, myself.

You know, I've never
felt like this before.

- We had a deal!
- And I will honor it.

I promise to find you
another way back to Hell.

Show me your arm.

Really?

I don't get it.

If Decker loves you,

then the mark should be gone.

Unless she's having
second thoughts about you.

Well, that's not...

ELLA: Oh, my God.

Maze, super psyched you're here.

I got me what you might call

an "all hands on Decker" emergency.

- Would you...?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Conference room.
- Yeah.

I'll work on Chloe and
get her back on board.

In the meantime,

you better figure out that other way...

fast.

MAZE: Is that

a wedding murder board?

I am just trying to stay organized here.

Wow. Mug shot for the caterer.

Nice work, Decker.

- You see what I'm dealing with?
- Mm-hmm.

Guys, solving crimes makes sense to me.

Wedding stuff, not so much.

Why do you think Dan and I
got married at the courthouse

and then went right back to work?

Decker, trust me,

we will help you deal with
all the wedding details

the normal way:

blind drunk at your bachelorette party.

- Mm-hmm.
- Which needs to be awesome.

That's where you come in

while I deal with a
new lead in this case.

Oh, the case. Right.

- What's going on with that?
- I-I ran a partial license

and got a match.

Security footage shows the suspect's car

at the location of the murder.

Okay, who is it registered to?

You will never know that

because you are on wedding vacay.

All right. [GROANS] My dress.

- I need to get a dress.
- Yep. Mm-hmm.

And while you do that...

We will...

seal this wedding dealio

by throwing you a bachelorette party

you won't forget.

Thanks.

I think.

Perfect. Okay, so you plan the
pregame till I get off of work.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my God.

With you on the case,

this night is gonna be insane!

[SQUEALS]

Yes, we're heading there right now.

Actually, we would've
been there 20 minutes ago

if someone didn't have to
stop for a wardrobe change.

I'm committed, Daniel.

Okay, so, uh, Ella tracked
the plate of the guy

Francis fought with to an
ex-con named Vincent Walker.

Car was spotted on 3rd and Main.
So we should, you know, hurry.

Well, I'm going as fast as I can.

- You're going 34 in a 35, man.
- [HORN HONKS]

I can't risk accidentally
going over the speed limit.

The detective wouldn't.

Why don't you just ask Chloe
why she said yes to Pierce?

Oh, there's no point bothering
the detective on her time off.

But speaking of baffling unions,

how are you doing? You and
Charlotte still a thing?

- Oh, I...
- [HORN HONKS]

Yeah, she's kind of going
through some stuff right now.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- And I'm just...

- you know, I'm giving her space.
- Right.

- Or I'm trying to.
- Hmm.

But thank you for caring, man.

Oh, no, I don't care.

- Oh, right, right, but Chloe would.
- [HORN HONKS]

Now you're getting it, Daniel.

Just drive, man.

[SIGHS]

Hey, Amenadiel.

- This a bad time?
- I could use a break

from prosecuting the Malibu
State water polo team.

Well, I was hoping
that you might be able

to help me out again.

I know we failed to prove
Pierce is The Sinnerman,

but I've still been digging,

and I am confident that eventually...

Actually, I'm taking a different
angle this time, Charlotte.

I need to split up the engagement

between him and Chloe.

Any chance to get in
His good graces, I'm in.

The thing is, Pierce seems
to genuinely be in love.

To stop this, we would
have to understand him,

and that... that guy is impenetrable.

Well, if being a trial
lawyer has taught me anything,

it's that there's always a way
to get inside someone's head,

get them to have a change of heart.

Go on.

You're both former
immortals that became mortal.

You could dig into your
own fears and insecurities,

weaponize them.

Not the easiest, I know.

But worthy of a test.

Hmm.

Well, while I'm doing that,
perhaps you can work on Chloe?

Guess who just got invited
to Chloe's bachelorette party,

co-hosted by Maze, of all people.

Bring singles.

Exactly.

Chloe will be drunk
in some stripper's arms

questioning her life choices in no time.

All I have to do is
water the seeds of doubt.

Okay, so, Vince Walker's record's

chock full of violence, man.

Worked as a leg breaker for the mob.

- You gonna pay attention or what?
- Hmm?

Oh, yes, whoever wanted Francis dead

probably hired this
Vincent chap to kill him.

And I'd say,

based on the security
around that doorway

over there, and the fact I've been here

many times before, that
is an illegal gambling den.

As such, it's a reasonable assumption

that our devious murderer's in there.

Nice work. You actually have

this whole Chloe thing down pat.

And yet I'm still no
closer to understanding her.

I mean, I'm following all the rules,

I'm actually paying
attention to the leads,

I'm covering all the
bases like she does.

It gives me no time to do

the foolish, impulsive
things I normally do

that help solve a crime.

[SIGHS]

Oh, hold on.

That's it. That's what's
missing: I need a "me."

- A "you"?
- Yes.

Well, to truly go full Detective,

I require a partner who's
clever and unpredictable,

handsome, sexual.

Suppose one out of four will
suffice. Well done, Daniel.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Wow.

Which one of the four am I?

[CHUCKLES] Come on.

Yo, Lucifer.

Hey.

♪ I can see the light of
the neon truck stop sign... ♪

Thank you.

All right, remember, just be me, Daniel.

Uh...

♪ Neon truck stop sign. ♪

Hey, everybody.

Who the hell are you?

I'll show you who I am.

Oh, what the heck happened to my, uh...

[IMITATE GUNSHOT]

Uh...

What are you looking for, buddy?

Trouble? A few lost teeth?

How'd you even get in here?

Right. Just be Lucifer.

I'm here for your
money... and your women.

- [SNAPS FINGERS]
- Teeth it is.

Ah.

You buried the lede.

Maze, this is really sweet.

You helping me with all
this traditional bride stuff,

and-and for me, it's gonna be
really nice hanging out again.

Nice is exactly what I was going for.

Yeah. Yeah, right.
Wait, where are we going?

There better not be male strippers.

[LAUGHS] You underestimate me, Decker.

- Careful. All right.
- Okay, okay.

- You ready?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm ready.

[SQUEALS]

Oh.

♪

Wow. Hi.

Yes, I-I definitely never
would have guessed this.

Surprise!

It certainly was for me.

Care for some non-alcoholic punch?

Come on.

MAN: Sorry, not sorry.

Loser.

You know what?

Maybe this chair'll be luckier.

So, hit man's greatest hits.

What's the latest, Vince?

I don't know who you are, but
that stuff was a long time ago.

A man of your reputation and skill?

I can't imagine you'd retire.

New time, new tune.
Not what I want anymore.

So then, uh, tell me,

what do you want or, uh, desire?

I'm married, pal.

Oh. [LAUGHS]

No, no, I mean, uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

Like, what do you want
want? Not, like, me, like...

in life, what do you want?
[CLEARS THROAT]

I want to play. Are you in or you out?

Yeah.

Is that a dog bite?

Oh, don't tell me, scars turn you on?

[LAUGHS] No, man.

It's just that when I
was a kid, I got bit.

She was a rescue, Chihuahua.

She had been abused,
but, uh, we kept her.

Pebbles... turned into
a real friend, you know.

- Well, this was no Chihuahua.
- What kind of dog was it?

- Well... huh?
- [HELICOPTER WHIRRING]

Go, go, go!

LUCIFER: LAPD!

Hands in the air!

I don't want any heroes!

OFFICER: Hands up!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Lucifer. Come here!

What the hell, man? SWAT?

Yes, well, this is when
I normally get into a spot

of danger, so I called in for backup

like a responsible detective would.

The suspect was just about to give me

incriminating evidence, man.

Daniel, would you quit
making this about yourself.

[SCOFFS]

- Looking for booze?
- Yeah.

And Maze's bong, and decent music,

and a strapping naked dude
with student loans and a dream.

Not on Maze's itinerary.

- Maze has an itinerary?
- Yep.

And I stole it.

Nail art,

Mahjong,

silent meditation?

Did you guys find the booze?

Exactly. We should be
nipple-deep in Jager by now

and playing pin the
tail on Ryan Gosling.

I can't believe that Maze legit
hijacked my bachelorette party.

- You mean Chloe's bachelorette party.
- That's what I said.

This is odd. What is Maze up to?

MAZE: Okay. All the things
that you love about Pierce. Go.

Oh. He does this really
adorable, like, scrape-y thing

- when he burns the toast...
- Aw.

And do-do I really have
to do a hundred of these?

- Yes.
- Oh, man. I promised Chloe the moon.

And I gave her burnt toast.

Please. We've got to do something.

Yeah.

I've got an idea.

I'm not gonna bite you, Pierce.

Says the guy who's tried
to kill me numerous times...

and now can succeed.

Relax. I asked you here to celebrate.

So you're not mad that
I got rid of my mark?

I feel this odd kinship, actually.

I mean, this is like the,
uh, the first official meeting

of the Immortals Turned Mortal Club.

In that case, the beer's on you.

It's all my Father's
plan, I have to assume.

Maybe.

But for now, I need to keep it quiet

from certain people,

until I know it's gonna stick.

First club rule: cone of silencio.

I've wanted this to happen for so long.

It's hard to believe it actually is.

Hey, I'm really happy
for you, Pierce. Truly.

- Thanks, bro.
- I mean,

becoming mortal is the best
thing that ever happened to me.

Everything is so much better
when you know that you can...

you can die at any moment.

How much time do we
have left? 30-odd years?

40, if we lay off the sauce?

I mean, that's a drop in the bucket

for a former immortal.

Hadn't thought of it that way.

Every sip of beer, every blue sky,

every motorcycle ride,

[SIGHS] every kiss...

So much more precious

when you realize it could be your last.

That any random act could just...

[EXHALES] take it all away.

♪ Be alive to know. ♪

[GROANS] Uh.

Oh, come on.

[GASPS]

Definitely strapless. Mmm.

And with a bow.

Yes. Yes. A big one.

Okay, I'm gonna get another roll.

- [SIGHS]
- ELLA: I did this two-ply

wedding dress garbage

at my cousin Rita's bachelorette party.

You know what happened?
Not drunken pole dancing.

You know what else isn't happening?

Us. Here.

- This is torture.
- [SIGHS]

Of course, Maze.

This all makes sense.

[MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY]

Oh, my gosh, what could that be?

It's probably just, uh, Trixie
and her stupid little friend

- next door.
- Hold on.

Chloe.

Is that...? You see it?

[LAUGHTER, WHOOPING]

Oh, my God.

Okay, now, this is what I'm
talking about right here.

[LAUGHTER]

You didn't really think
we'd stay home, did you?

- You guys, you shouldn't have.
- Honk, honk.

ELLA: Honk for "Fun! Fun! Fun!"

No, they really shouldn't have.

The detective always goes first.

So, Vince.

Let me guess: you were hired

to take out Francis so Cornelia
couldn't compete in the show.

Or was the dog the target,

and she attacked, so you
killed the owner instead?

Hmm?

This is where I'd make a
clever pun about the underdog.

VINCE: Look, I wasn't hired to take out

the competition, I am the competition.

- What do you mean?
- I got into dog training through

the "pups and parolees" program in jail.

That's how I got this bite.

I fell in love with one.

Elliot.

I found out later he
was a purebred Mastiff,

so I started taking
him to all the shows.

He loves the shows.

You're not in the competition database.

Daniel, that's my line.

You're not in the competition database.

If those snobs ever saw me with my Elly,

they'd never give him a fair shake.

So I pay someone to
pretend to be his owner.

Then why were you
fighting with Francis?

Look, I don't want to
talk about it, all right?

Daniel, time to slam the suspect

up against the wall
to elicit a response.

- Wait...
- Oh, come on, practice with me.

Look, look, look.

The fight with Francis
was over puppy custody.

Cornelia was pregnant.

With my Elly's babies.

I could never murder the puppies'

maternal grandfather.

I'm not some monster.

A litter of purebred Mastiff puppies

is worth tens of thousands of dollars.

O-Oh, right.

Who else knew about the puppies?

["CONFIDENT" BY DEMI LOVATO PLAYING]

LINDA: Oh, The Big Easy!

- [CORK POPS]
- [LAUGHTER]

♪ It's time for me to take it ♪

♪ I'm the boss right now ♪

♪ Not gonna fake it ♪

♪ Not when you go down ♪

♪ 'Cause this is my game ♪

♪ And you better come to play... ♪

ELLA: Put them on, put them on.

Okay, okay. Look. "L'il
Miss Can't Behave."

LINDA: Oh, my gosh.

- Oh!
- Gosh. Oh, my gosh.

- Oh! Oh!
- Maze.

Oh, don't worry, Decker, there's
lots more where that came from.

- Really?
- There really is.

Did you see that bar?

Is it cool?

What the hell is this?

Uh, the best bachelorette party ever.

Hells yeah. This bus really
amped things up a notch!

Yeah, and now I need you to de-notch.

Are you nuts? This is
everything I ever dreamed of.

In genuine pleather.

Ella, I really need
this wedding to happen.

That means no surprises, no problems,

and definitely no
drunken change of heart.

We all know Decker
can't handle her booze.

I don't know. She seems to
be handling it just fine.

- [SQUEALING]
- ELLA: Yeah! Looks like marrying

ol' reliable is letting her
bust out her inner Lucifer.

Yeah? And we all know he
isn't the marrying kind.

Come on, Maze, it's one night.

Just let her have some fun.

What could possibly go wrong?

[TIRES SCREECH]

♪ Ah, ha, ha ♪

[MEN WHOOPING]

No!

[CHEERING]

[WHOOPING]

Charlotte, what is happening?

I agreed to waive the charges

on the Malibu State water polo team

if they agreed to
wave some other things.

[LAUGHS]

- Amazing.
- Right?

Yeah!

♪ What's wrong with being, what's wrong ♪

♪ With being confident? ♪

♪ Ah, ha, ha. ♪

DAN: The Barkley. Owned
by Dr. Valerie Haynes,

veterinarian to the stars
and the SoCal Dog Show.

Apparently, every canine
contestant is required

to be examined by Dr. Valerie

before they can actually
compete, which means...

She definitely would have
known Cornelia was pregnant.

And she would have
been at the crime scene.

No, I still don't think this is working.

[SIGHS] Agree.

- And I think it's my fault.
- Also agree.

See, the problem is, we rarely
work this closely together,

you and I. And you can't
be expected to just know

the delicate
detective-consultant chemistry.

So I think you clearly need

an intensive hands-on
tutelage on how to be me.

- That, I don't agree with.
- Excellent.

Uh, you might want to take some notes.

- Oh, yeah.
- Hello there.

Uh, we would love to see Dr. Valerie,

if possible. [CHUCKLES]

VALERIE: I can assure you

I know nothing about any murder.

Over puppies? I mean,
who would do such a thing?

DAN: Well, the rent in this
part of town is pretty hefty.

And those puppies were
extremely valuable,

especially on the black market.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

You think I need money?

Imagine how much people
spend on their kids.

Peanuts compared to what
they spend on their pets.

Trust me,

I have more than I could ever want.

Oh. Do you, now?

Watch and learn.

Surely, there must be
something that you desire.

I...

Mm.

I'm...

Mm-hmm.

I'm really all good.

Come now,

there's really nothing
you want deep, deep down?

I want the miracle of birth.

Trying to solve a murder
here, love, but I'm sure

you can find someone
to help you with that.

Eventually.

You don't mean...

for you, do you?

[WHINES SOFTLY]

Of course I took the dog
when I had the chance.

Do you know how little I get paid?

All the missed holidays?

Dr. Valerie spends most
of her time in Hawaii.

So I took Cornelia

and I hid her here.

And when Francis tried to stop you,

you, what, killed him?

No! I was backstage,

but he was already dead.

Cornelia was frantic.

She came to me.

She's very particular,

and she knew that I
would take care of her.

By selling her precious babies?

I know it was wrong,

but I was gonna return her
right after she gave birth.

[SCOFFS]

Look, I'm not a killer. I swear.

[SIGHS] They never are, are they?

Well, given motive and lack of alibi,

you leave me with no
choice but to follow

my trusty detective gut and arrest you

for the murder of Francis Hoffman.

Tag her and bag her.

[HUFFS]

Well, suspect apprehended.

Canine found.

And that is how it's done, Daniel.

♪ I don't care ♪

- [WHOOPS]
- ♪ I love it ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

[LAUGHS]

[GIGGLES]

Oh, my gosh.

That's definitely one way to sober up.

Charlotte. Oh, Charlotte, hi.

Gettin' your groove on?

[CHUCKLES]

My groove is on pause lately.

But forget about me.

This night is all you.

I got to say, it's nice forgetting

about the wedding stress for once.

Why stress?

It's all exciting!

And so bold.

First Dan, now Pierce?

Marrying a second guy from your office?

But screw the
professional optics, right?

You have a type.

When you know, you know.

MAN: Whoa! What are you doing? Whoa!

ELLA: Um, is it just me

or are we short a couple
of giant hot dudes?

[GRUNTS]

- [HORN HONKS]
- Maze! What are you doing?

- [GRUNTS]
- Hey!

I liked that guy!

He smelled like chlorine

and butterscotch fudge.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

I am five-feet-nothing
of coiled live wire, Maze.

This... means... war!

ELLA: Linda, Linda,
Linda, Linda, please!

Maybe we can circle back
and-and then pick him up again.

While we're on the topic,

I would love some relationship advice.

From me? Well, I'm
not an expert. Clearly.

[CHUCKLES] I don't know.

I mean, your faith in some

pretty ruinous odds is truly inspiring.

Did you know

that L.A. has one of
the highest divorce rates

- in all of the U.S.?
- Does it?

- Yeah.
- Really?

My plan has nothing to do with you.

It is for Chloe.

I want to get her
exactly what she wants.

Pierce.

Married. To her.

No drama.

Yeah. Totally agree!

- [GRUNTS]
- Total lack of drama

starting right now! [CHUCKLES]

Cupid Maze? Altruism?

Pearls? No way.

People get married now multiple times.

LINDA: You're up to something!

- I mean... [SIGHS]
- LINDA: Tell me!

I suppose there's nothing stopping you

from getting married again

- after Pierce.
- Charlotte,

I know you're not trying
to freak Chloe out,

but it kind of seems

like you're getting in her head.

- You really think so?
- Wait,

are you trying to freak
her out on purpose?

Uh...

- [GLASS SHATTERS]
- Let's go.

Bring it.

[WHISTLES]

Stop the freaking bus!

[TIRES SCREECH]

Everyone but Chloe out!

Now!

♪ I love it. ♪

You know,

we could've sent the dog back
with the rest of the guys.

Nonsense. The detective would
never allow a pregnant lady

to ride in the back
of a filthy police van.

How very sensitive of her.

[SIGHS]: Yes. And so predictable.

I mean, how can the detective's
actions be so easy to replicate

and yet so hard to decipher?

I still have absolutely no clue

as to why she said yes to Pierce.

Not to point fingers, Daniel,

but I do wish you'd tried
harder to be, well, me.

If you weren't so afraid
all the bloody time...

I am not afraid.

[CHUCKLING]: Oh. Oh, really?

You say you're giving
Charlotte time and space

because it's what she wants,

but we both know you're
using it as an excuse

- to avoid telling her what you want.
- Fine.

Okay. Yeah. Maybe...

maybe I'm not great at
admitting what I want.

And maybe it wouldn't kill me to...

- Lucifer it up every now and then.
- Mm.

But when it comes to
understanding people,

I'm not taking any pointers from you, man.

In fact, I think you're
the one who's afraid.

Excuse me?

The reason you won't ask
Chloe why she's marrying Pierce

is because you're scared
to hear the answer.

- [CHUCKLES] That's absurd.
- [CHUCKLES]: No.

That's why you're playing all
these stupid little head games.

Which aren't gonna work, by the way.

- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Because, first off,

you're only thinking
about Chloe as her job.

I mean, you don't even
call her by her name.

Which is Chloe, not "the detective."

It's endearing.

[LAUGHS]: Oh, come on.

You believe this guy, Cornelia?

[BARKS SOFTLY]

Chloe is so much more

than work, man.

She's a friend.

She's a devoted parent to Trixie.

- She's the most amazing human being I've...
- Daniel.

You ignorant, fearful
genius... you're right.

Really?

Indeed. To truly understand

the detective's motivations,
I need to experience

the full spectrum of her life.

- Okay.
- So what I need is a defenseless,

barely verbal creature
who depends entirely on me

- for her every need.
- What are you talking about?

I need a Trixie. I...

Hello.

[CHUCKLES]

- Uh, ew.
- ELLA: Maze,

what part of co-hosting a bachelorette
party did you not understand?

Hey, nobody asked me about any damn bus!

LINDA: Yeah, so you
throw my next best chance

for a sex life off it?

- And, you, why are you freaking Chloe out?
- MAZE: Yeah, I should never

have invited her.

I was trying to help!

You know, a little prenuptial
conflict is healthy.

It's better to get it out of the system.

Oh, you want conflict?

Done! Okay, ladies, please.

- There's still time to fix this, okay?
- Come on, Maze.

Two words: matching tattoos.

What?

Fake tattoos. Fake.

Pierce tipped me off...

- Pierce was looking into fake tattoos?
- Yeah. I mean,

he made me promise

not to tell anyone... But you know what?

Lying bastard!

Where is Maze going?

Bigger problem, girls.

Where'd Chloe go?

Oh...

LUCIFER: No, sit, child.

Oh, goodness me. Sitzen.

Oh, my goodness.

This is ridiculous.

I mean, at least the
detective's human dependent

can be bribed with chocolate and cash.

But apparently, chocolate's
toxic for Ms. Picky here.

And she ate my wallet.

- What is that smell? And why is there...
- Hmm?

- Crime scene tape all around my desk?
- Because trust me, Daniel,

Cornelia committed a very
serious infraction over there.

- [WHINES SOFTLY]
- Children are

so needy... I mean,
you wouldn't understand,

but being a single parent is exhausting.

Dude, it's been an hour.

Well, in dog years, that's an eternity.

Yeah, well, your parenting
days are over, okay?

Francis's husband Frederick is here.

LUCIFER: Frederick! Oh.
Good to see you again.

What a pity. We were just bonding.

Thank you, Detectives.

I had no idea she was pregnant.

Now I can start to rebuild
our family. Well, if you just,

uh, sign the release form,

and she's all yours.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

There's my good girl.

[CHUCKLES]: Ah...

- [WHINING]
- Girl...

Oh, poor baby.

She's clearly feeling the strain.

Cornelia?

Come.

Bye, child.

I'll really...

Good-bye.

Right, now, that's...

Where's he gone?

WOMAN [OVER SPEAKER]:
How you doing there, hon?

C... Can you see me?

I see a lot of things on this bus.

Looks like something's eating at you.

[SIGHS]

Well, it just...

it all happened so fast, and...

everyone's wondering
why I said yes, and...

I-I'm wondering the same thing myself.

I don't know, m-maybe I thought

that marrying a...

a safe, steady guy would...

somehow... change me
into a different person,

and that-that maybe
this new, spontaneous me

would-would somehow...

inspire the... the
person that I still am.

[SIGHS]

Hey, are you married?

17 years.

He's my everything.

Hopefully, your guy is, too.

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

[QUIETLY]: How does she even do this?

Well, that's odd.

Cornelia's prenatal examination
was signed by Frederick,

but he said he didn't
know about the pregnancy.

And the signature's a match.

Which means he lied.

Ergo...

he's most likely the killer.

[CHUCKLES] Well done, Detective!

Well...

well done, Detective.

- Get in here, you stupid mutt.
- [WHINING]

Come on!

- Is that how you treat a pregnant lady?
- What the...?

- How did you get in here?
- I had a hunch you were the killer.

When your "fur baby" wouldn't go to you.

Cornelia only goes...

to people she trusts.

Not killers.

Only question now is: why, Frederick?

I'm more than happy to
discuss this with you

after I tend to Cornelia.

- [WHINES]
- [SIGHS]

Listen.

You got to understand,

a dog is supposed to
be man's best friend,

not man's best replacement.

Do you know what it's like

to be kicked out of
your own bed by a dog?!

But... I could never get up the nerve

to just tell Francis what I wanted.

You were scared of what
the answer could be.

Then I found out about the puppies.

Six more reasons for him to neglect me.

And we fought...

and he fell,

and he hit his head.

It was an accident.

Why don't you just put the gun down.

Come back to the station

and tell your side of the story.

I should've just shot the dog!

But it's so hard to kill a creature

with such intelligence in its eyes.

[DOOR CRASHES OPEN]

LAPD!

Wha...?

Ah. There you are.

[CHUCKLES] Typical.

You leave me with the
paperwork and run off alone.

No thought of danger,
no thought of protocol...

You really... don't see the irony, do you?

All I see, Daniel, is that I
can't rely on you as my partner.

So perhaps I should find someone
steady, someone responsible,

someone who can
actually be there for me.

[EXHALES]: Oh.

Oh.

I get it now.

MAZE: So you thought I wouldn't
find out your mark is fake.

You know, for a guy who's
lived for a million years,

you're a real dumbass.

Shh.

She's asleep.

Can't use the kid as a
human shield forever, Cain.

Maybe not tonight...

[WHISPERS]: but I am coming for you.

[DOORKNOB RATTLING]

[KEYS JINGLE]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hey. You're here.

Why isn't Trixie at her sleepover?

I stopped by to check on her,
and she wanted to come home.

Um...

about all this wedding stuff...

It's way too overwhelming.

- Yeah, I agree. It's, uh, it's-it's...
- Yeah.

Listen, let's forget

about the whole "big event"
thing, okay? Life is too short.

- Too short, yeah.
- Yeah.

Let's elope.

We don't need the whole circus.

It's about you and me.

[SIGHS] Yeah.

And-and-and that's why I...

I can't marry you.

I'm sorry, Marcus.

♪ ♪

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Dan.

Are you okay?

Uh...

I don't know.

Got a lot of things on my mind.

Could be kind of serious.

[CHUCKLES]: Tell me about it.

I am... whew...

Seriously wondering why I said yes

to that fifth shot of tequila.

[EXHALES]

What is it?

Charlotte, I know that, um...

we've been keeping things kind of loose,

and I said that you
could use your space.

And if that's what you want...

if that's what you truly
want, then I respect that.

But... I never told you what I want.

I want you.

All in.

The whole deal.

So, um...

so there.

Okay.

Really?

♪ ♪

Ah. Detective.

Good. You're back.

I am. Yeah.

Excellent, because...

well, there's a few
things I need to say.

- Hmm.
- You see, I've, um...

well, I...

I've actually learned
something for once.

Oh.

No ring.

[SIGHS]

Yep, no ring.

Oh.

So, you were saying you learned
something? [CLEARS THROAT]

Oh. Oh, it's nothing.

Nothing. Completely irrelevant.

Right.

Well...

a new case just dropped, so...

I was thinking... Back to work?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Back to work.

- After you.
- Thank you.

- Shall we take my car?
- Yes.

[LUCIFER SPEAKS SOFTLY]

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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