Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie,

owner of Jackie Mackie Real Estate and Immigration Services

located right here in the heart of Little Saigon.

And guess what.

Today moved Gina Huynh into this house behind me

with nothing down, right, Gina?

Right, Jack Mackie.

No down payment, right?

Right, Jack Mackie, no down payment.

She has no job.

No job, right?

No job, but I start nail salon Monday.

Right, but no job now.

And she's not even a citizen, right?

No, Jack.

She might even get deported, who knows,

but the important thing is

she got into this house today, right?

I got her in with nothin' down.

So come on down and see me

on the corner of Bolsa and Magnolia.

I'll give you a free donut.

After that we'll talk about getting you

into a house with nothin' down.

Remember, my motto is nothing down in Little Saigon.

She just said the exact same thing I did

only in Vietnamese.

Oh, and don't forget to come down

for the Tet Parade this Saturday

when yours truly, Jack Mackie,

will be the grand marshal.

And as I drive by, say, "Hey, Jack, throw me a donut."

And you know what, I will!

Remember, my motto is

nothing down in Little Saigon.

Nothin', and donuts are always free.

That's me, Jack Mackie, grand marshal

of the 2007 Little Saigon Tet Parade

back when real estate was booming

and my commercials were running night and day.

And then it all went to hell.

Looking back, I guess my first mistake

was going on the Judge Jerry TV show.

I am the law.

Your Honor, this man owes me $1,200 in back wages,

due to the fact that I worked for him.

And, uh, Mr. Mackie, what do you have to say, sir?

Well, first of all, Your Honor, good morning to you.

Your Honor, yes, it is true that this young lady here

was employed by me at my real estate office,

Jack Mackie Real Estate and Immigration Services,

which is located on the corner of Bolsa and Magnolia

right here in Little Saigon.

I don't need to know the location.

Oh, okay.

Well, uh, Your Honor, one of her duties, um,

was to be an actress in my TV commercials.

The commercials, by the way, air every night here

on the local cable channel six

from like eight to midnight,

sometimes on weekends, something 10 to one.

Mr. Mackie, please stop trying to use my courtroom

as a vehicle to advertise your business.

Oh, I'm, I'm sorry, Your Honor, I, I, I apologize.

Well, anyway, uh, the reason why I had to let her go,

Your, Your, uh, Your Honor.

The reason why I had to let her go was because,

well, frankly, she's a lousy actress.

That's a lie.

I can act my ass off.

Didn't you know she was a lousy actress

when you hired her?

Your Honor, I object!

Yes, well, Your Honor, it's true, I did.

I mean, how could you not, right?

But I kept thinking she'd get better.

But if anything, she got worse, um, if that's possible.

So, Your Honor, I put her to work on my company website,

www.jackmackierealestate.com.

If I have to warn you one more time

about promoting your business in my courtroom I'll have to...

All right, well, Your Honor, okay, I'm sorry,

but I mean, you know, I, I, I...

In the interest of justice, Your Honor,

I think you need to know the facts.

Your Honor, if I may be so bold as to say

you are entitled to the facts

and I'm trying to give them to you.

The only fact I'm concerned is if you can demonstrate

why you did not pay the plaintiff

for her last two weeks of employment.

Your Honor, there are, I can give you, there's,

I have another location, too, by the way,

that's gonna be opening up in Huntington Beach, so...

You see what a sneaky asshole he is, Judge J?

You people see.

No job, no credit.

No money, no money.

No money, no problem.

There, I think you've got it.

Now I ask you, is that bad acting?

Judge J.

You're still here?

Yeah, why wouldn't I be here.

You said you were gonna take me to breakfast.

I'm sorry, I can't.

Why not?

What happened?

I sobered up.

So it's like that?

Yeah, just like that.

Come on, you've gotta get outta here.

My wife'll be here any minute.

You, your wife?

Yeah, my wife.

You didn't tell me you were married.

Why should I?

It's none of your business.

Oh, god, where is it?

Gimme.

Come on, be a good girl!

Forget it.

Huh.

Hmm.

Let's go for a little scuba dive.

How do you like that?

Oh, no, please no!

Please, no!

Oh, shit.

No.

Please don't hurt me.

Please don't hurt me.

Please.

Hey, Mindy, any calls?

Nothing you wanna hear about.

Well, try me.

Your ex-wife called, and she...

Oh, wait, whoa, whoa, which ex-wife?

Margo.

Forget it, anyone else?

The police.

The police?

Um, a guy named Detective Agnew.

And he didn't leave a message, but he said he'd stop by.

Stop by when?

I don't know.

Not sure, but it felt like soon.

Did it really?

It felt like soon?

Thanks, Mindy.

Um, Tuan, conference room, now.

So, look, what do you think the cops want?

I don't know.

Have you been doing anything illegal?

No, I can't think of anything, and even if I had,

it would just be civil litigation kinda stuff.

What about you?

I can't think of anything off hand.

Well, good.

Sounds like we're okay.

Yeah, yeah, I feel better now.

Yeah?

Jack, it's me, Mindy.

Yes, Mindy, I recognize your voice.

Mindy, we're in a meeting right now.

I know, but the police are here.

Can I help you guys?

Hey, yeah, you Jack Mackie?

That's me.

Well, I'm Detective Agnew.

This here's Detective Vo.

Okay, and?

When's the last time you saw Judge Jerry?

Judge Jerry?

Yeah.

What's this about?

Just tell us the last time you saw him.

I don't know, at the taping last night.

You didn't see him after the taping?

Well, no, why would I?

Judge Jerry was murdered.

Wow.

We believe his time of death was about 3:00 a.m.

Whoa, that's awful.

Poor Judge Jerry, huh?

Hey, wait a minute.

I hope you guys don't think I had something to do with this.

He did rule against you, Mackie.

I'm gonna kill some guy over a small claims court case?

I got news for you guys, I knew I was gonna lose that case.

I just wanted to go on TV to promote my business.

Sounds a little far-fetched, Mackie.

Not far-fetched, more like unconventional.

I'm an out-of-the-box kinda guy, you know.

Tell us where you were last night.

Come on, guys, I mean this is getting a little comical,

don't you think?

Oh, murder is funny to you?

I didn't think so until you guys showed up.

Just tell us where you were.

All right, look, uh, I'll tell you,

but not in front of my staff, okay.

I mean, it's kinda personal.

Staff?

All we see is the chick and the sidekick over there.

Look, look, I got many agents

that come in and out all day long.

Um, come on, I'll talk to you in my conference room.

Get this asshole.

What is this, Mackie, some kinda joke?

Hey, don't act like you've never been

in one of these before.

Okay, out with it!

Okay, look, last night I was with an employee.

The sidekick?

Who says cops can't be funny?

No, Mindy.

The receptionist?

Yeah.

Well, she's not just a receptionist.

She's also heading my immigration division as well.

But listen, I don't want people to know about this, okay.

It's a little office romance.

So that's, uh, I don't want it to get out.

Well, then, we need to talk to her, then, Mackie.

Fine.

Mindy, can you come in here a second please?

Now, when she gets here, you let us do all the talking.

Got it.

Hi, Mindy.

Hi.

Um, listen, these, uh, detectives

would like to ask you a couple of questions, okay?

- Okay. - 'Kay.

You mind tellin' us your whereabouts

between about midnight and 4:00 a.m.?

I was at my home, at my apartment in Garden Grove.

Did you have any company?

Yes.

Who?

Jack.

I don't get it.

Why did you need Mindy to give you a phony alibi?

Because I didn't want the cops to know where I really was.

And where were you?

I was home alone.

But if those cops thought I couldn't back up my alibi

they could make my life a livin' hell.

You know I've been down that road before.

I was involved in a real estate con once in Miami.

I lost my license.

I mean, I was innocent, of course, you know,

but I lost it anyway.

It was just a real unjust thing.

That's what I like about you, Jack.

You're always one step ahead.

Yeah, that's what I like about myself too, you know?

Can we, can we, ma'am?

Excuse me, can we get a little service?

Please, please.

Thank you.

You know, you got a good head on your shoulders, Tuan.

Thanks, Jack.

I think it's time that maybe you took on

even greater responsibilities at Jack Mackie Real Estate.

Really?

Man, that, that's great.

What do you have in mind for me?

Well, lately I've been checking out obituaries

of prominent people and going to their funerals.

I pretend I knew the dead guy.

It's a great way to network.

I don't get it.

If the guy's already dead,

isn't it already too late to network?

No, no, no, no, on.

It's the best possible time.

See, chances are the guy's old lady

is thinkin' about sellin' the big empty house

and movin' to some retirement community.

And who better to get the listing

than the dead guy's old buddy, Jack Mackie?

That's like scary good.

Oh, yeah.

Has it paid off yet?

Sure, I got a listing this morning.

You got a listing the same day as the funeral?

Sure.

Well, I mean I had to do a little extra, uh,

shall we say, schmoozin'.

- Brilliant. - But, yeah, yeah.

Drop your pants.

What?

Grief makes a person very horny.

It's a medical fact.

Now do you want that listing

or don't you?

You know at my real estate office I advertise free donuts.

Well, somebody's gotta pay for those damn donuts.

And now I think it's time

to start doing Vietnamese funerals.

I guess this is where I come in.

Bingo.

You still speak Vietnamese, right?

I mean I've heard you speak some of it.

Yeah, sure, well, conversational.

Yeah, what are you, like, what, half?

Yeah.

Yeah, but the half that you are can speak it?

Sure.

Really?

Well, good, now order us some food, will ya?

So now what do we do?

Well, we just follow the procession, see where they go.

Hey, give me that guy's

background information again, will ya?

Dr. Quan Le, military doctor,

captain in the South Vietnamese Army.

Left Saigon when it fell in '75.

And how did he die?

He was murdered in his hair salon.

Oh, yeah, I heard about that guy.

It was in our building on the first floor,

that real expensive-lookin' salon.

That's why I never went in there.

Probably got killed by an angry customer, man.

Probably charged too much.

Man, that sucks.

The guy's a doctor and an officer,

survives a war, and winds up getting killed

in a hair salon that's 10,000 miles away.

Well, you know what, Tuan,

life is full of ironics.

Um.

Hey, well, hey, hey, excuse me, everybody.

Hello, hello, excuse me, excuse me.

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie.

I know most of you don't know me,

but I'm from Jack Mackie Real Estate.

I wanna tell a story about Dr. Le, if I may.

When I was over in Vietnam for my tour of duty in '73,

I was out at an outdoor cafe one day,

drinking some beer with some friends of mine, right?

And just then a little kid comes by on a bicycle,

throws a hand grenade at us.

Well, sad to say, my buddies got killed.

Me, I took a hunk o' shrapnel right here in the gut.

I was bleeding real, real heavy.

I was gonna die.

But, luckily a doctor came by.

He stopped the bleeding and took me to a hospital.

Guess who the doctor was.

Anybody?

You don't know?

It was Dr. Quan Le.

How about that, huh?

Hmm.

And I always wondered what happened to him

and little did I know that not only

did we wind up living in the same town,

but we were working in the same building

over at Bolsa and Magnolia.

He has his hair salon on the first floor,

I got Jack Mackie Real Estate and Immigration Services

on the third floor.

Free donuts, by the way.

But anyway the point is I lost two buddies that day,

but I gained a new buddy.

He was the, the kind of buddy that can save your life,

and to me that's the best buddy of all, right?

Come on.

Oh, god, Dr. Le.

He saved my life, man, I mean,

how do you repay something like that?

Can ya?

I don't think ya can.

I was very touched by what you had to say about my father.

Oh, you know what, well,

I was very touched that he saved my life.

I would like to get to know you better.

But I have had a difficult time finding someone I can trust.

Well, you can trust me.

But now is not a proper time to talk business.

Well, no, of course not.

We're at a funeral, right?

So, listen, I'll tell you what,

I have some cards here.

Here, this one, oh, this one's a good one.

It's magnetic.

All right?

Come by my office tomorrow and we'll talk then.

All right?

Uh-huh.

Hey, Tuan, I'm sorry, excuse me.

Tuan, you ready to go?

Oh, uh, Jack, this is General Luc Do.

Hi, General, hey, listen, I love that uniform.

Mr. Mackie.

Yeah.

I'm fascinated by your story.

I would welcome the opportunity to hear more

about your experiences in Vietnam.

Oh, oh, yeah, listen, about that, you know,

I try not to relive the past, General.

I mean it brings back a lot of painful memories, you know?

Nightmare stuff.

I'm sure you understand right?

- Nevertheless. - Uh-huh.

I would like to extend an invitation

to you and Tuan as guests at my restaurant.

Okay, well, Tuan, huh...

Tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night, okay.

Uh, Tuan, uh, you, you wanna go?

Uh, I would be honored.

He never turns down free food.

- Wonderful. - Yeah.

Trippy dude.

Hm, maybe so, but you're in luck, though.

He's a man of great influence in Little Saigon.

Many people even come to him to have their disputes settled.

Can you buy those uniforms anywhere

around town, do you know?

No.

I like it.

What happened is we landed right here at Phu Yen,

Phu Yen, and what happened was is when we were comin' in

off the ships, well the objective was

to take the battalion and move 'em north.

The further north we got, the more fire kept comin' in.

- Jack. - Hey.

- Hamilton Hopper. - Oh, hi, hi, hi, Hamilton.

How you doin'?

Uh, this is Tuan over here.

Hi.

How are you.

Yeah, uh, uh, uh, this is your lovely daughter, I take it.

She's not my daughter.

Sorry.

This here's Star.

Starla.

Okay.

Jack, I was impressed by your story.

I was a chopper pilot with the 145th Combat Aviation...

Ach, I need vodka.

Vhere is apple martini?

- Jack, Jack. - Yeah, yeah?

I was a chopper pilot with the 145th

- Combat Aviation Battalion. - Okay, okay, yeah, yeah.

What about you?

Well, I was a grunt, you know,

5th Battalion, 46th Infantry.

Well, it's always a pleasure to meet a fellow vet.

Boy, I'll say.

We'll always have that bond, you and me, absolutely.

Hey, Jack, you know, I got some

real estate issues that I'd like...

That's all you gotta say.

Just stop talkin' right now, soon as I get you a card.

I got a card for ya here.

- Good, good. - It's magnetic, too.

You got a fridge at home?

- Absolutely. - Course you do.

Where else are you gonna put the cold ones, right?

- Huh? Okay. - There you go.

Hey, uh, good to go.

I'll give you a call.

Give me a call.

Absolutely.

Hey, I'm your guy, Ham.

That was brutal.

Huh, yeah.

Absolutely brutal, jeez.

You did good, though, Jack.

Hm.

I can't believe you came up with that infantry backstory.

I amaze myself.

How accurate is it?

Let's just put it this way,

now you can shoot for the kill shots.

You don't need that second shot.

This shoots paintballs and pellets?

You kiddin' me?

You get his by one of these

it'll bring a grown man to his knees like that.

Hey, Tuan, um, what's up with the kid?

Jack, this is Spike.

I'm gonna buy his paintball gun.

It's a Paintblaster M3.

Oh, how 'bout that.

Do you paintball?

No, hey look...

He doesn't dig it.

Reminds him too much of Vietnam.

Tuan, this looks very unprofessional, okay?

Kinh's comin' by in a few minutes,

so lose the gun and lose the kid.

And shouldn't you be in school?

Shouldn't you be in a retirement home?

Not bad, not bad.

Hey.

So we got a deal?

Oh, yeah.

All right.

Good morning, beautiful, I brought you some donuts.

Ooh.

You should eat them before too long.

They're already a day old.

Hey, Jack, what's the occasion?

No occasion, just because.

Well, look, I just wanted to express

my gratitude for what you did yesterday with the police.

I mean that was pretty amazing, so thank you.

Oh, any time.

Oh, Kinh.

Hello, Jack, I hope I have not come at a bad time.

No any time's good for you to come by.

I mean that, really.

And I would like to discuss the case with you.

Case, what, what case?

The case involving my father's murder.

Um, okay.

Please come with me.

This is my cousin, Thi.

Hello, Mr. Mackie.

Hello, Thi.

So where are we going?

Different places.

I think this is important we get to know one another.

Do you agree?

Yes, of course.

Why are we stopping here?

To burn incense for my father

and all the relative that I lost in the war.

You know, if our guys were as big

as those soldiers right there,

we never would have lost that war, you know?

You...

I hope you don't mind that we came here.

Oh, no, not at all, I'm glad we did.

This memorial is very important to the Vietnamese people.

And you know I think it's great

that we have a memorial right here in our city

that honors those who died in the Vietnam War.

Vietnamese people actually call it the American War.

They do?

Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that.

Jack, I think we can help one another.

Yes, I'm, I'm sure we can.

My father left me a great deal of money

and I can use your help to make some wise investment.

Kinh, let me tell you something,

I can give you all the help you'll ever need.

Thank you, Jack.

And I can help you improve your business.

May I be honest with you?

Well, yes, of course.

I was not impressed with your office.

Well, yeah, well, I know it's a small operation,

but, yeah, well, you know what they say,

big things come in small packages.

Yeah, but most of the time,

small things come in small packages.

Hey,.

Normally I would not do business

with such a small company, but you knew my father,

so I wanna give you a chance.

But first I must ask you to prove yourself to me.

Uh, prove myself?

I need someone to help me find my father's killer.

Okay, well, fine, but that's a job better left

to the police, don't you think?

The Vietnamese people don't trust the police.

Okay, but, that's fine, but here's the deal.

I'm a real estate salesman.

But you were also a soldier,

and I think you would give a strong effort,

because this would be personal to you.

This is $10,000 for your trouble.

If you can find my father's killer,

you will get an additional $100,000.

I hope that sound fair.

How can I say no?

I mean after all, you're father, Dr. Le,

he saved my life, so, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

Let's do this.

Oh, hi, Kinh.

Tuan, how nice to see you again.

Jack Mackie told me to meet him here.

Follow me.

Jack, you have a visitor.

Oh, hey, hey, Tuan, how's it goin', buddy?

Hey, where's your suit?

I told you to bring it.

Would you like some lemonade, Tuan?

Uh, that'd be nice, thanks.

What about you, Jack?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, and this time, let's dress it up a little bit, huh?

Dress it up?

Put a skirt on it.

Rum, honey, rum.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Jeez.

She's not real swift, Tuan, but she's really cute and sweet.

What's going on, Jack?

My friend, we have fallen into a load of dough.

What's the angle?

We're going to be private detectives.

She's hired us to be private detectives

and find, uh, her father's killer, I don't know.

What?

And just how are we gonna do that?

I don't know.

I think maybe you're in over your head, boss.

Maybe so, but she's already given me a retainer of $5,000,

which I will split with you.

And besides how could I say no?

I mean after all, her old man saved my life.

Oh, god.

Hi, uh, hey.

Hey, are you Kenny?

That's right.

Hey, I'm Jack Mackie, this is Tuan Vu.

Yeah, I know who you guys are.

I've seen your commercials.

Yeah.

How can I help you?

Well, uh, we're working on the case.

What case?

You know, the case involving Dr. Le's, uh, murder.

I thought you were real estate salesmen.

Well we are, but we've been retained

by Dr. Le's daughter to, uh, investigate the case.

Well, why would she hire real estate salesmen

to investigate a murder.

Hey, Tuan, take it easy, will you?

What's goin' on?

I mean, why are you speaking to this guy in Vietnamese.

I don't understand Vietnamese, so,

especially in a murder investigation it's confusing for me.

- Right. - Yeah.

- Sorry, Jack. - It's okay.

So just tell me what you said to him,

only this time in English.

That's none of your business.

What's got into ya, Tuan.

What, uh, what, of course it's my business.

Um, no, I mean, that's what I said to him in Vietnamese.

I said, "That's none of your business."

Oh, right, Kenny, that's none of your business.

Okay, fine, I got it.

Uh, Kenny, so listen, anything you can do to help us,

I mean any cooperation is much appreciated, let me tell you.

What do you wanna know?

Well, just tell us, you know, what happened that night.

Well, that night, I was in the back

stocking hair supplies,

and then I heard Quan yelling.

And I looked out and I saw a guy dressed all in black

pointing a sword right at Quan.

A man, are you sure it was a man?

Yeah, what do you mean?

Well, I mean, I'm just sayin', maybe,

you said the person's in black, right?

Could it have been a woman?

A woman, uh, robbing a hair salon,

yeah, I guess it could happen.

Think about it, Kenny, makes sense.

Maybe Quan gave her a bad haircut, or worse yet, a bad perm.

Quan doesn't give bad perms.

So was Quan yelling in Vietnamese?

Or English?

I'm not sure.

Oh.

Oh, come on.

The two languages are pretty different...

Way different!

It should be easy to tell

- them apart. - Should be easy!

Hey, hey, hey, Kenny, now, come on, I thought we agreed.

None of that, okay, work with us.

Okay, so you hear Quan yellin',

and then, uh, what happens?

Nah-thoh!

Hey, Kenny, easy.

Sliced him like a watermelon.

Then he walked outta the store.

You didn't say anything about the money.

The money?

Yeah, did you see Quan hand money over to the crook?

No, I didn't give him any money.

You know that was kinda fun, wasn't it?

Yeah, this detective stuff's pretty cool.

Yeah, it is.

And you know what else?

I think we might be onto somethin'.

Yeah, something doesn't smell right.

I know, huh, I mean, how can you not know

a loud voice in Vietnamese or English

what the difference is?

Yeah, that's a little weird.

Yeah, I'll say.

So now what do we do?

I don't know.

Maybe we should go and see the police report.

Yeah, okay, good idea.

But I'll handle that.

Why don't you, uh, go to a funeral, will ya?

Could you go to a funeral?

There's the report.

Thank you.

Where's Tuan?

Oh, um, he had to go to a funeral.

Really sad.

Um, Detective Agnew, uh,

Tuan and I went and saw Kenny over at the store,

and, uh, he said the robber didn't get any money.

We don't believe he did.

When we arrived the register was closed.

And it didn't appear that any cash was missin'.

Uh-huh, well, then maybe robbery wasn't the motive.

Uh, you can't assume that.

See the most likely scenario is that, see,

when Quan refused to give up the cash,

that's when the robber offed him.

Well, wait a minute, it says right here in your report

that there was only $225 in the register.

Yeah, so?

So it doesn't make sense

that Quan would risk his life over $200.

It happens all the time.

No, I can't believe my father

would risk his life for just a small amount.

He was a wealthy man.

Yeah, yeah, it makes no sense.

We only deal with facts here,

so unless you have another motive besides robbery,

you let me know.

I don't know, did, did your father have any enemies?

I don't know.

Well, let me tell you where we stand on this.

There's no security camera.

Our only witness hasn't been much help.

And the only physical evidence that we have

is a bucket of blood.

Any questions?

Hm, nope, I can't think of any.

Well, listen, Detective Agnew and Vo,

I want you both to know

that Tuan and I plan on cooperating with you

and, uh, any information we dig up

we're gonna be more than happy to, to share with you.

I'm happy to hear that, Mackie.

You know, the department makes it a point

to cooperate with real estate agents.

Card.

Um.

Magnetic.

Man, I can't stand that guy.

Me neither.

Gentlemen.

Thank you for gracing me with your presence.

Well, no, thank you, General, for having us.

Uh, please, uh, have a seat and join us.

No, no, no, no.

I want you to enjoy your meal in peace.

Perhap later.

Oh, well, thank you very much, very generous of you.

Listen, uh, in the meantime, take one of my cards,

they're magnetic, will stick to about anything,

as long as it's metal, you know.

Jack Mackie Real Estate and Immigration Services.

So, um, you know, maybe someday we'll do business.

I mean you never know, right?

Yes, maybe someday.

Enjoy your meal.

He threw the card in my soup.

Like I say, trippy dude.

I know.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

You see the egg and the banana over there?

Go see if you find anything.

Okay.

Excuse me, boys, but aren't you guys

in that TV commercial?

Yes, yes, yes, that's us.

Not only would we be so happy

to sign autographs for you both

but we'd love to buy you a drink.

What do you think, Tina?

Okay, maybe we'll let you buy us one.

- Really? - Yeah.

I, I have my mind on two right now.

Ooh, three if you're good.

Oh, hm, still workin' on two.

Now, another little shot, make like a, we got, hey, huh?

You two are so cute in your commercials.

I know, aren't we?

We're adorable.

You guys really are.

I know it.

Tuan, I got a great idea.

Why not include these two beautiful girls

in our next commercial?

Why, why not, sure.

Well that sounds so cool.

And what would we be doing?

What do you wanna do?

Whatever you want us to do.

Ooh.

Are you gonna wear this?

- Of course. - Okay.

Well how 'bout you be two hot chicks in the office, then?

Can't you think of something a little bit more glamorous

than having us sit around in a real estate office?

Well, well, you know, it's not just real estate.

We also do immigration now, too, so...

And then starting today,

we're gonna be doing detective work, too.

Now that sounds exciting.

Yeah.

You heard about the Le murder at the hair salon?

Yeah.

We've been hire to find the killer.

You two are private detectives.

Right.

I think someone's trying

a little bit too hard to impress us.

Dee-dee.

Wait, wait, wait, where you goin'?

Okay, boys, we really have to go.

No, well, leave me your number.

Maybe next time.

Oh, huh.

You got a big mouth there, Tuan.

What'd you have to go and tell all that

stupid stuff about private detectives for?

I thought it would impress them.

Ah, it just sounds phony.

Yeah, they were real impressed.

They couldn't wait to get outta here.

Well, we're probably better off.

I think they're in a gang.

Jade had a BLB tattooed on her ankle.

Oh, what's BLB?

I'm not sure, but I think it's a gang.

Everybody's got tattoos nowadays.

Let's go.

Gentlemen, you must not leave just yet.

Miss Le have a surprise for you.

That guy's startin' to freak me out.

Hey, Jack Mackie Real Estate.

No money down, no money down.

Buy cheap real estate, no money down.

Bring relatives over, I do immigration, too.

Bring all your relatives over.

Thank you, no money down, no money down.

Oh, beautiful.

- That was amazing, amazing. - Hello.

Tuan, would you and Jack like to come over for dessert?

I have mooncake.

Mooncakes?

I love mooncakes, sure, we'd love to.

Yeah, are you kidding?

- Yes. - Yes?

Yes, I love mooncakes.

I hate mooncakes.

Hey, this mooncake is delicious.

I mean, I don't know how you get

those little shark fins inside,

but it really, it really works.

- I agree. - Mm.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Excuse me, but I made them.

Oh, okay.

Oh, I'm sorry, Thi.

Uh, yes, that was excellent, thank you.

Listen, I hate to interrupt

but our new commercial's gonna air in about two minutes.

Oh, how excited!

You're gonna be very impressed.

Come on, let's go watch it, all right?

- Awesome. - Okay?

- Let's go, Thi. - Come on, Thi.

Hey, Thi, bring the wine, will ya?

Thi, you comin' or not?

Hey, Thi, where's the wine?

Never mind, never mind.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Here we go.

Everybody shh, shh, shh.

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie,

owner of Jack Mackie Real Estate and Immigration Services.

No credit, no job, no money, no down payment?

Who cares?

It's not a problem.

Give my staff and myself the opportunity

to put you into a lovely home.

Now what do you think about that?

That makes me very happy.

I just wish I knew how to get my parents here from Vietnam

to live with me in my new home

that I will buy with no money.

Tuan, you wanna tell her, or should I?

I'll handle this one, Jack.

We're also an immigration service.

We can help get your parents to this country.

Wow, that makes me very glad.

We're glad, too.

Huh, what do you think?

Do you want to know what I think?

Not really, no.

I think it's kinda cheesy.

Do you mind telling me why you dislike me so much?

Same reason I don't like your commercial.

You're cheesy.

Thi,.

You told her off, that's good, good for you.

I mean I, I don't know what you said to her,

but, uh, you know, it's all gibberish to me, you know that.

But it sounds like you really told her off, so thank you.

I apologize, Jack.

No, it's okay, that's all right.

But you know what, it just drives me nuts,

I mean, what her problem is.

I mean, what, I don't know what I'm doing

to make her hate me so much.

It's not your fault.

She just doesn't like white people.

Really?

Well, why not?

She was raised in a number of foster home

and most of her foster parent was white.

They only wanted her as long as

they was gettin' paid by the state.

Oh, wow.

Well, I can see why she's so pissed off.

You know, I think if she would just take the time

to get to know me, I mean, I, I think she'd like me.

I don't think so.

Don't underestimate me.

I try not to.

I liked Kinh's song.

Really, you did?

You know, she's my cousin, and of course I love her,

but sometimes I think she tries too hard

to draw attention to herself.

It always has to be about her, you know what I mean?

Oh, that's okay, uh, that doesn't bother me.

I work with a guy like that.

Why do you waste your time with him?

Waste my time?

Look, Thi, when I met Jack,

I was working in a sandwich shop.

He's done okay by me.

He uses you.

You're his inroad into the Vietnamese community.

So what?

It's all about business.

Do you know what people are calling you guys?

People, what people?

Vietnamese people.

What?

Egg and banana.

Egg and banana, I don't get it.

He's egg, white on the outside, yellow on the inside.

I guess that makes me the banana?

I'm not saying it to hurt your feelings.

I just thought you should know.

It doesn't hurt my feelings.

Really?

'Cause I know something like that

would bug the shit outta me.

Is that what you think of me?

That I'm a banana?

No, I'm just telling you what other people are saying.

I think you're kind of cool and cute.

What's wrong?

It's nothing.

Well...

Well, what?

Do you like Kinh?

Well, you don't.

She's boring and conservative

and I'm just the opposite.

Jack, I want to ask you something

that is very difficult for me.

Well, sure, what is it?

Does Tuan have a girlfriend?

Oh, you like Tuan, huh?

No, no, he doesn't have a girlfriend.

Oh.

You should tell him how you feel.

Oh, no, I'm much too shy.

You want me to tell him for you?

No, please don't, I would be too embarrassed.

Well, I wouldn't wait around for too long.

I think, uh, Thi likes him, too.

Excuse me, Jack.

Oh!

Oh, man.

You guys okay?

You all right?

Oh.

Tuan, man, get up, get up, get up.

- Ah. - We gotta call the police.

No, no police!

We don't trust the police.

Oh, yeah, right, I forgot all about that.

Vietnamese don't trust the police

or keep their money in banks.

Well you see where that got ya.

Kinh, Jack's right, we really should call the police.

No, they will come back and seek revenge

if we call the police!

So we do nothing?

You untie 'em.

- Huh? - Oh.

Now we should get the gun.

- Oh. - Mm-hmm.

Find out who to murder.

I'm sure ready.

What is she doing here?

Oh, that's right, you two haven't met.

I would've introduced you last night

but that would have been a little awkward.

So why is she part of the family all of a sudden?

Just so we're clear, she's BLB.

I recruited her from that TV judge job.

What?

She was on a show and wound up going home with him.

I found her in the bathroom after I wasted the judge.

So instead of killing her,

you offered her the chance to join the family?

Enough, Thi.

Like Kim said, she is BLB.

Is she even Vietnamese?

I'm as Vietnamese as you are, bitch.

Enough!

Anyway, I didn't like what all went down at Kinh's house.

What are you talking about?

It went smooth.

Clockwork, baby.

What didn't you like, Thi?

They came in, went straight to the bedroom

where the safe was.

Obviously they had inside information

and that could put pressure on me.

Is that right, Kim?

We didn't want to use our voices

because we didn't want to let on that we're a female gang.

I agree with Kim.

I'm very pleased with your work.

Hopefully we'll discourage the egg

and the banana after this.

Egg and banana.

Any other issue?

General, we've been helping you achieve your goals.

Now we expect to see a little bling-bling.

Bling-bling what?

Money, some goods.

That was a nice haul we brought in,

jewelry, cash, some gold.

Yes, but it all must be laundered, Kim.

That's cool, but we have the right to know

the approximate value of what we brought in

and what we might expect in return.

You're right, Kim.

Next time we meet, we run over some number.

Good.

And in the meantime?

In the meantime, $50,000.

Take it and spend it in my restaurant, okay, girls?

Run a big bar tab, all right?

Everyone.

BLB forever.

Thi!

Jack, because of the robbery, things have change.

Things, I'm sorry, things what?

Things have change!

Things have changed?

Really, how so?

I had over $2 million in gold and cash in that safe.

I'm broke.

You know, no offense,

but will someone please tell me

why Vietnamese people hate cops and banks so much?

Police in Vietnam was very corrupt.

We never trust those police.

And in Vietnam my family did have money in US bank

and we lost it all when Saigon fell.

The bank did not guarantee our money.

This isn't Saigon.

Let's not get off the point here.

Not that is the point, isn't it?

I mean, everybody knows

that Vietnamese people hate cops and banks

and they keep all their worldly possessions at home.

I mean no wonder there's so many home invasion robberies

in Little Saigon.

I mean, if someone stole my little pal, Mr. Chao,

I'd freak out and call the cops!

Jack, Kinh didn't come here to get a lecture from you.

Okay, Kinh, well, then, why did you come here?

I can't afford to pay you, Jack.

But if you can get my money, I will give you $100,000.

Oh, well wonderful.

You will give me money after I go recover your money

that you already owe me from a vicious gang.

I'm sorry, I know I'm asking a lot of you.

Yeah, you are.

I mean, I'm sorry for your little string of bad luck,

but I'm a real estate salesman.

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

Excuse me.

Hi, Jack Mackie.

Oh, yes, hello, thank you so much for calling back.

Oh, that's, oh, yes, hold on one second please.

Look, this is a very important phone call,

okay, I gotta take this.

So, I'll tell you what,

let me get ahold of you in a day or two,

I'll think about it, and maybe we'll do lunch.

Hey, we'll go grab some pho.

Whaddaya say, right?

Yes, that will be fine, Jack.

Yes, yes, that'll be fine, okay, great.

Okay, thanks.

Tuan, can you walk her out please?

Thanks so much, thank you.

Mindy, okay, all right, thanks.

Listen, Kinh, Jack is really busy

right now running his company.

I understand.

But I'll be here for you, no matter what.

I just want you to know that.

Thank you, Tuan, that means so much to me.

You through with your important phone call?

Don't start with me, Tuan.

She needs your help.

Look, Tuan, we almost got killed last night.

Besides I was never in a position to help her anyway.

I was just goin' through the motions.

I mean do you really think

I could deal with murderers and gangbangers?

Why not, you probably faced worse in Vietnam, right?

Hey look, Tuan, you were there every step of the way

with me during that whole little charade,

so don't start acting like a choirboy all of a sudden.

Now if you want to continue to play detective,

then go ahead, but I'm done.

Yeah, well I'm done being your banana.

What?

My banana, what's that supposed to mean?

Tuan, what's up with the banana thing?

Hey.

Da, mama, da.

No, mama, is urinary tract infection.

No.

Da, da, spasibo.

Get the door!

I am's on the phone!

I don't give a shit, get the friggin' door!

No, mama, no, da, da.

Yeah?

Hi, Jack Mackie.

Remember me?

Yeah, the used car salesman.

No, no, no, no, no, no, real estate, real estate.

Mm-hmm.

Is Ham home?

Yeah.

Mama, I call you back.

He's in the back.

Go ahead, sit down.

Thank you.

Ah.

Hm.

Are you on TV?

No credit, no job, no problem!

That's me, yeah.

You've seen my commercials, right?

Guilty.

- That's very nice. - Oh, now.

I've alvays vanted to be on TV.

Oh, really, you want to be an actress.

No, I just want to be on TV.

Sure, why not?

It's fun.

Do you think you can get me on TV?

Oh, I think I could.

I'd love to get you on TV.

I mean, you know what I mean?

Hey!

Yeah, oh!

I hope you're not puttin' moves on my girl!

No, oh, no, we were just talkin'.

Take it easy, I'm just screwin' with ya.

Wanna beer?

No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Um, so, listen, Ham, so, you were sayin', uh,

when we first met, that you were interested

in a real estate transaction of some sort.

Well, if that's the case, Jack Mackie's your guy.

If you're ready to sell this place,

I would to love to get the listing.

How can you sell something you don't own.

Shut up, Star.

Vhat did I tell you about talking to me

that way in front of company?

Then shut your piehole and I won't have to!

I don't need this shit, Ham, no.

This not Soviet Union, no!

Where the hell do you think you're goin'?

Back to Russia!

The mall, motherfucker!

Okay, but don't be hangin' out with those brats

in the friggin' food court.

Sorry about that.

She's still got a lotta growin' up to do.

Yeah.

But she sure is cute, right?

Oh!

Ham, look, uh, I'm kind of confused.

Um, you mean you don't own this place?

Jack, I admit, I misled you.

But if I'd told you the real reason I wanted to talk to you

you might not have shown up.

The real reason?

I need some fresh blood for my team.

I'm sorry, fresh blood for your team?

Jack, Jack.

I was a guest of the Hanoi Hilton for almost five years.

I was lucky, I came home.

But I got a lot of buds still over there.

Oh, yeah, you still think

there are Americans over in Vietnam?

I don't think, I know.

Since the end of the war there's been hundreds

of sightings and intelligent reports

that prove Americans are still being held captive

throughout Vietnam and Laos.

And Washington is doing nothing.

Kissinger sold us down the river.

North Vietnamese wanted reparations after the war.

Kissinger said we'd give 'em four billion,

so they held back some of our prisoners

as insurance until they got their dough.

Well we never gave it to 'em.

Hmm.

And we never got back our prisoners.

Jack, did you know that at the end of the war

we still had over 600 prisoners in Laos?

And guess how many came home?

Well, I don't know, Ham, I'm, how many?

None, that's how many!

Friggin' none!

'Kay, wow, huh, I mean,

that really sucks, you know, I mean, but, um,

what do you want me to do about it?

Look, with each passing year

more and more vets lose interest.

They've given up.

You seem to be prominent in the community.

Well...

You're on TV.

Yeah, but, I mean they're real estate commercials.

You know I mean, what am I supposed to say?

Hey, no credit, no money, no problem,

and by the way don't forget those prisoners over in Nam!

Um, you see what I mean?

It doesn't really flow, Ham.

Well, maybe act as a spokesman.

Or maybe help me put pressure on Washington.

Yeah, yeah, here's the thing, Ham.

Uh, I'm really busy, you know, right now,

with a lot of different things, and, um,

I just don't have time to get involved

in a project of this magnitude.

What if you were over there, Jack?

- You ever think about that? - Well, no.

What if it was you that was still over there?

Hmm, yeah.

Ham, here, here's the thing, um,

I hate to tell ya this, but, uh, I'm just not your guy.

Screw you, Jack!

Oh, that's good, Ham.

Okay, you take care, huh.

I'll let myself out.

Kenny, I wanted you to do me a favor.

I don't wanna cause you any trouble, I just wanna help Kinh.

I told you everything I know.

I believe you.

I believe that you told me

everything you know about the robbery.

But I'm getting the feeling Quan

was killed by an enemy not a robber.

Anything's possible I guess.

Do you know or suspect

if Quan could've been involved in anything illegal?

No, no, Quan was a good man.

Was he worried about anything?

Worried?

Yeah, you know, was anything bothering him?

Anybody threaten him?

I don't know if anybody ever threatened him, but

I do remember him getting phone calls every once in a while

that upset him.

Did he ever talk to you about those calls?

No, no, I asked him once,

but he didn't wanna talk about it.

Hm, okay, okay.

Thanks.

I didn't know Judge Jerry was running for city council.

He never did.

He wanted to, but he never got a chance.

Quan was a big supporter of Judge Jerry.

Okay, thanks, Kenny.

Yeah, yeah, I know Judge Jerry very well.

We used to go parties many time before.

Can you think of any reason

why anybody would wanna kill him?

Sure, his wife.

Judge Jerry has many girlfriend, plus wife.

Do you really think,

do you really think his wife did it

or are you just kidding?

Well, I don't think she did it herself

but she might pay somebody to do it for her.

Did you know he was gonna run for office.

Yeah, I know.

What kinds of issues interested him.

How the hell should I know?

Do I look like his like campaign manager?

Do I?

Do I?

Okay.

Well, let me put it this way.

Do you know how he felt

about normalizing relations with Vietnam?

Well, he has a lot of business interests over there.

And the city council even passed a resolution

banning communists from even visit Little Saigon.

And he wanted to change all that.

Yes.

You think something like that is enough to get him killed?

Of course.

This is Little Saigon.

But I still think his wife kill him.

Trust me, she did it.

I know.

Yup.

Hey.

Hey.

I thought you didn't want to be a banana any more.

Whatever that means.

I could use your help.

Uh-oh, here we go again.

Okay, before you say no, just hear me out, will ya?

All right, well, hurry up, because, you know what,

I got a, I got a funeral to go to in a few minutes, so...

Judge Jerry was gonna run for the city council

and his main goal was to encourage relations with Vietnam.

Quan had the same goal,

and apparently was to be a campaign contributor.

Yeah.

So?

So?

In Little Saigon that's enough to get you killed.

Yeah, maybe.

You got anything else?

At Kinh's house the other night, during the robbery,

when they busted into the bedroom,

they knew right where their safe was

before Kinh even told them.

Someone musta tipped them.

Like who?

Maybe Thi.

Thi, Thi, all right, I, you know, Tuan,

I think you're getting a little

carried away with your detective work.

Today I noticed that Thi had a BLB tatooed on her ankle.

I called Detective Agnew and asked him

does he know anything about BLB.

He says it's a gang insignia.

It stands for Babylift Bitches.

Really?

Babylift Bitches?

In 1975 as Saigon was about to fall to the communists

the United States started Operation Babylift.

Thousands of orphans, mostly sons and daughters

of US soldiers, were airlifted to the US.

Most were adopted.

Some of the older ones wound up in foster homes.

Some of these kids had a rough time growing up

especially ones in the foster homes.

Some became gang members, even the girls.

That's how Babylift Bitches came to be.

Look, you're confusin' the hell outta me, I mean...

All right, look, let's say Thi and the rest of her

baby bitches gang sets up the robbery, okay?

And then they put a hit on the judge and Quan.

Now the robbery makes sense.

There's a profit motive.

But the murders?

I mean, all of a sudden these

baby bitches have political aspirations?

Most likely someone in power and influence

is in alliance with them.

Yeah, or most likely the judge gets killed by his wife,

Quan gets killed by a robber.

So you're not gonna help me.

Sounds to me like you're doin' okay without me.

I could use your help.

I'm scared.

Well, you're damn right you're scared.

I mean, you're dealing with murderers.

Hey, I'm scared, too, and if you're smart

you'll walk away from this whole mess.

I can't just walk away, Kinh needs me.

Oh give me a break!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Tuan.

Now, come on, man, you're a good dude, you're my buddy.

I don't wanna see anything bad happen to ya, you know that?

But you gotta be realistic.

You barely know this chick.

Hey, hey.

Yes, I know, Thi was going in a gang.

But I know she would never do anything to harm me.

Maybe not, but somebody tipped

the intruders about your safe.

They knew right where to go.

I don't believe it.

But maybe you right about my father.

It could have been a motive for his murder.

Now the hard part, who?

Tuan, thing could be very dangerous for you.

Maybe you should let the police handle thing from now on.

I don't think the police would be interested

in anything I have to tell them.

You are a man of great honor, Tuan.

I'm not so sure about that, Kinh.

Okay, call him now.

Hey, Tuan.

Oh, Tuan, I'm so scared.

Somebody left a threatening note in front of my door.

Can you come and get me now, please?

What does the note say?

Um, I don't know, it's just a long,

bizarre, rambling note.

You can read it when you get here.

Could you, can you come now?

Okay, okay, where are you?

I'm at the parking lot next to the memorial.

The Vietnamese memorial.

Tuan, thank you so much you're here.

I really have to pee.

Just, I just need someone to guard,

'cause I'm really scared.

Thank you, I'll be right out.

Hah!

You told me you were only gonna scare him.

I lied.

Come on, let's get outta here.

Pull over.

What?

I'm gonna be sick.

Pull over right now, dammit, pull over!

Over there, there's some bushes.

Hurry up!

I told you not to bring that bitch!

Shut the hell up, Thi.

What do you guys want.

You!

Well, your buddy Tuan called me.

He said you guys ran into

some of those Babylift Bitches lately.

Yeah, I don't know, yeah, maybe, yeah.

Somethin' funny?

Um, yeah, I don't know, it,

Babylift Bitches, it's just, it sounds funny.

It's just funny, right, Vo?

Funny, Babylift Bitches, very funny.

No?

Okay.

You know any reason why the BLB

would wanna harm you or Tuan?

Well, it could have something to do with Quan Le's murder.

Maybe they thought we were gettin' too close.

Closer than you guys were getting, anyway.

Okay let's move on to Quan Le's funeral.

Saved your life over in Nam, right?

Uh-huh.

Only thing is

you were never in Vietnam!

Really?

Gosh, I coulda sworn I was there.

Maybe not, I don't know, I'll have to double-check that.

You know what I hate about draft dodgers like you, Mackie?

I mean to avoid the draft is bad enough,

but to lie and tell people you

a Vietnam vet just to run a scam?

Man, how low can you go?

Look, I wasn't a draft dodger.

I was lucky, I got a good draft lottery number.

End of story.

But what if you were drafted.

What would you have done?

Hello, Toronto.

Gutless.

Aw, come on, man, everbody knew that was a bullshit war.

Tell me somethin', Mackie.

What would it take to make you go to battle?

What are you talking about?

What would you do if somebody attacked your wife?

Well if it was one of my ex-wives, probably help.

Funny guy.

You like that, Vo?

High five.

What would you do if somebody killed your best friend?

Why?

You're about to find out.

Tuan's dead.

You're lyin'.

Wish I was.

He was found in a park restroom.

His head was taken clean off.

My guess is that it was a gang hit.

So like I said, Mackie, what are you gonna do about it?

I say we arrest him for assaulting an officer.

Just get him outta here.

Get up, get up!

Get out of here, you bum.

Better watch your back, Mackie.

You might be next.

Stop banging on the door, you're gonna wake up Star.

What the hell do you want?

Hey, look, I could use your help.

Well you must be in some deep shit,

if you got the nerve to come over here

askin' me for my help.

Yeah, yeah, Ham, come on, all right, I do need your help.

I mean, come on, one GI to another, man.

I need, I need you right now.

Yeah, Ham, I'm in trouble.

Well, in the words of Jack Mackie,

I'm not your guy.

Hey!

Oh, shit.

Shonte, what are you doin' here?

I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone would be here this early.

Oh, well, how'd you get in?

I, uh, I, I still have your key.

Oh, really, well, remind me to get that from ya.

Yeah, um, uh, look, I'm sorry.

I just didn't have anywhere else to go.

What's wrong, are you in trouble or somethin'?

Yeah, you could say that.

God, what happened?

You look like hell.

Really?

Yeah, look.

You see it?

Oh, my god, you're right.

Look at my hair.

So let me get this straight.

You were with Judge Jerry the night he was killed.

Yup.

Well, what were you doin' there, having a victory party?

Well I don't know, I'd never been with a celebrity before.

Oh, like he qualifies.

Look...

Just go ahead.

Thank you.

So anyway I'm in the bathroom, right,

and someone comes in, kills him,

and then comes into the bathroom, and I'm scared.

I mean, there's someone standing over me with a sword,

and suddenly, it's just, rips off her mask and smiles.

She?

Yeah.

She saw my tattoo.

BLB.

You've seen it.

Well, yeah.

I never had time to read it.

Right, exactly.

No, it's a stupid thing I got when I was a teenager.

I was in this gang.

So many times I wanted to get it removed, but never did.

I'm glad I didn't.

Saved my life.

Get in the bathroom, get in the bathroom!

Why didn't you tell me what happened to Tuan?

I just found out myself a few hours ago.

Well, how'd you find out?

Detective Agnew.

He said you was a bad man.

Oh, he's a jerk.

You shoulda watch out for him!

I tried to.

I told him to stay away from you.

You're nothin' but trouble, lady.

You're the reason why he's dead.

It is true.

You are right.

Who's she?

Shonte, is a, she's a friend of Tuan's.

Look, does anyone else know you're here.

No, I don't think so, why?

Wait, wait, what about Thi?

What about Thi, does Thi know?

Yes, she does, but what about the others.

Okay, okay, Jack, did you lock the front?

Okay, go, go!

Go!

Take it off, take that mask off right now!

You just got taken out

by a real estate agent with a pellet gun.

You haven't done shit.

You just slowed us down a little.

You're still a dead man.

You know her, Kinh?

No, I...

Okay, well, I think you'll know the other one.

Shonte, take her mask off.

Thi, oh, my gosh!

Thi was in on the robbery at your house

and probably your father's murder as well.

But why?

Because I'm BLB straight up.

That's my girl.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, my god, this...

I'm sorry, it's, uh...

Oh! I...

So now what?

So, General.

Mr. Mackie, what a pleasant surprise.

Oh, these are my friend,

Jade and Tina.

Yes, we've met, they're lovely girls.

Uh, General, I'd like to discuss

some business with you right now.

I don't think this a good time, Mr. Mackie.

Well, General, I think, uh, I think it's gonna have to be.

You, you see, I have some property

I think you're gonna be very interested in.

Mr. Mackie, I'm not interested in any real estate venture.

Ah, ah, ah, no.

For once it's not about real estate.

General, people, people, as in Kim and Thi.

Oh.

Tina, Jade, leave us.

Yeah.

So, so look, um,

um, I want to make a trade.

Go on.

Here's the deal.

I'll release Kim and Thi to you,

and then you guarantee my safety and Shonte's.

What make you think I care about Kim or Thi?

Well, General, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, come on.

If I turn them over to the police it won't be long

before their activities are linked right to you.

What kind of activity are you referring to?

General, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, let's not go through this whole song and dance.

If you expect to do business with me,

you must divulge information.

Yes, fair enough, yeah.

Okay, well, I mean, I happen to know

that you have been directing the BLB

to do your little dirty work, you know, like,

including killing Judge Jerry, Quan Le,

oh, and god knows what else.

Why would I do that?

Oh, come on, how the hell would I know?

If you look, hey, look, General,

I'm just an innocent bystander in a war, you people...

You fool.

War was over.

There's 18 million of my people

still under the grip of dictatorship,

and I won't rest until they're free.

Right, right, right.

After Saigon fell I was in the reeducation camp.

They told me I'd be there for one month.

How long were you there?

Seven whole years.

Well, that's a long time.

They lied to ya, General.

I know Quan Le.

He was in the camp, he was collaborating with the enemy.

What a jerk he was.

Well, and then you see him here,

and then you decide to get revenge on him.

I can, uh, I can dig that.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

Yeah, no?

No, no, no.

Not until I find out that he's wanted

normalized relationship with the communist government.

Yeah, that's no good.

It seemed like our friend

still collaborating with the enemy.

Oh, boy, yeah, forget that.

And that's why Judge Jerry had to get killed then.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mr. Mackie, I'm explaining myself because

as a former soldier

Right.

fighting in Vietnam

Right.

you would understand my motive, right?

Right, no, sure, me, yeah, former soldier, which I am.

Hey, and I don't blame ya for

snuffin' Judge Jerry, you know,

and Quan Le, I mean, I understand that.

Those guys had to go.

But, General, I mean, come on, man.

Tuan was my buddy, man, and he didn't deserve to die.

And not like that, with his taken clear off

like it's a friggin' cantaloupe or somethin'.

I'm afraid, my friend,

your friend is just a casualty of war.

I'm a busy man, let's wrap this up.

You mention a trade.

Yeah, the trade, okay, the trade.

I give you back Kim and Thi, right?

You got them back, and then you guarantee

my safety and Shonte, I continue to do business

in Little Saigon, everybody lives happily ever after.

And maybe you and I could,

do, do you golf?

Yeah, well...

Do ya?

No, Tennis?

- Mackie, Mackie. - What?

I'm sorry, Mr. Mackie,

I don't have a counterproposal for you.

All I can say is this.

All I can say what gonna happen, okay?

I don't care about Kim or Thi

and I think it time for you to withdraw from Little Saigon.

You have 48 hour.

To do?

And not one minute.

To leave?

48 hours, you expect me to get outta here in two days?

I have a business, General!

I got TV commercials runnin' right now.

I just ordered a thousand new magnetic business cards.

You know how much those things cost?

That not my problem.

Now leave.

Let me enjoy my lunch.

Look, come on, General, really,

I mean, this is my business.

I, I, I can't just, I can't just drive off, right?

Come on, come on, we can work this out.

Come on, we just negotiate...

- Mr. Mackie! - What?

Ah, hey, hey, what?

What?

This not my problem.

All right, now I...

All right, you know what?

- Leave! - Hey!

Well, good news for you.

You get to be Babylift Bitches again.

How about that, huh?

Can you please wait until I'm through praying?

Yeah, fine, take your time, I got all day.

Thanks for meeting me here.

Detective Agnew said something about you

that make me sad.

Agnew, when have you talked to him?

Don't worry, I haven't told him anything yet.

I think he just want me to know what kind of person you are.

Well, cops lie a lot.

He said you were never in Vietnam.

And you were never even in the Army.

Yeah, well, he's not lyin' about that.

Why did you lie to me?

Why did you say that my father saved your life in Vietnam?

Did you even know my father?

Actually, no.

Then why did you come to his funeral?

I was networking.

What?

I was networking.

Come on, man, I mean, I was just handin' out business cards,

tryin' to meet people, maybe get a listing, that's all.

There's something wrong with your soul, Jack.

Yeah, well you know what, I've been told that before,

but there's a matter of $100,000, which I think you owe me.

You said you would give me that money

if I found your father's killer, which I did.

Which you and Tuan did.

True, but Tuan's dead.

But you didn't recover my money.

Well talk to Luc about that, I did all I can do.

If I ever get my money, I'll let you know.

Oh, thank you, I'll email you when I'm settled.

Hey, look, you know, I wasn't trying to hurt anybody.

I mean, I'm just a guy tryin' to make a buck.

I will pray for you.

We can be friend no longer.

Oh, oh, really, we can be friends no longer.

Well, I'm devastated.

You know, knowing you hasn't exactly

been a picnic either, lady!

Are you a soldier?

Yeah, yeah.

Did you lose family in the war?

I lost two son and my lovely wife.

I'm sorry.

And you?

I lost my best friend.

I'm sorry, too.

Hm.

And no money.

Nope.

So where we goin'?

I don't know.

Where do you wanna go?

I love Florida.

How about Miami?

Uh, no can't do that.

Had some misunderstandings there once.

Right.

New York?

Um, yeah, no.

I lost my real estate license there.

Wasn't my fault, though, I was

- Right. - totally set up.

Hey, you know where I've always wanted to go?

Toronto.

Hi, I'm Jack Mackie from Jack Mackie Real Estate

and Immigration Services located right here

in the heart of Little Saigon.

You know what, now is the best possible time to buy a house.

And now is the best possible time to come pay me a visit.

And you know why?

'Cause I'm givin' away free donuts.

But you better hurry, because they're goin' fast.

Gina, what kind of donuts do we have today?

We got sprinkles, Jack.

We got sprinkles, Jack.

That's exactly right, we got sprinkles.

So come on down today.

Let me put you in the home of your dreams.

No job, no credit, no money, no problem!

Or as we like to say in Little Saigon...

Khong Thanh Van De.

Khong Thanh Van De, baby!

And remember my motto is always

nothing down in Little Saigon.

Yeah, she just said what I said.

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