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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,151 --> 00:00:11,687
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:18,193
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Hey, guys, look what I got.
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00:00:37,314 --> 00:00:40,082
It's a magic genie speaker
that plays music, talks
13
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,518
and knows stuff, all without wires.
14
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But there's a wire.
15
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No more from you, please.
16
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All right, let me squinch my face up
17
00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:48,324
and put on a pair of glasses
I never wear
18
00:00:48,325 --> 00:00:50,525
to look at these directions.
19
00:00:52,562 --> 00:00:55,097
Boy, if they were giving out
medals for tiny writing...
20
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,366
Huh? Huh?
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00:00:57,367 --> 00:00:58,867
Okay.
22
00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:01,937
Now, to activate the speaker,
you say its name.
23
00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,439
Brandee.
24
00:01:04,941 --> 00:01:06,342
And now, you just talk at it.
25
00:01:06,343 --> 00:01:08,510
Brandee, what's going on in the news?
26
00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:10,713
Breaking news from The Huffington Post:
27
00:01:10,714 --> 00:01:13,115
"Prince bred purple dolphins."
28
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:15,351
Wasn't there a senator shot
this morning?
29
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You see? Right there, this
device is a perfect example
30
00:01:18,355 --> 00:01:20,356
of how we continue to become more inept
31
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due to our dependency upon machines.
32
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There was a time, not too long ago,
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when people would talk to each other.
34
00:01:26,863 --> 00:01:29,365
Yeah, the bad times, The Sucky Ages.
35
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Our society is doomed.
36
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:32,901
People and technology are a bad match.
37
00:01:32,902 --> 00:01:35,537
Just like moms and Radiohead.
38
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Oh, no. No, no.
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This isn't music.
40
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No, I don't like this, David.
41
00:01:40,877 --> 00:01:42,745
No. That's enough.
42
00:01:42,746 --> 00:01:44,546
No, David, I don't like that.
43
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No.
44
00:01:49,953 --> 00:01:52,121
Sharon. Hey, it's Brian Griffin.
45
00:01:52,122 --> 00:01:54,957
Wondering if you were free
for dinner on Saturday.
46
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You died? Oh.
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00:01:56,926 --> 00:01:58,961
So you're dead right now?
48
00:01:58,962 --> 00:02:00,262
What's that like?
49
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,499
God, why am I such a loser?
50
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,667
Possible reasons for being a loser:
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bad breath, arrogance, unemployment...
52
00:02:08,405 --> 00:02:09,471
Okay, okay.
53
00:02:09,472 --> 00:02:11,073
This is not helping my hangover.
54
00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:14,276
The Hangover Part III available
for instant download.
55
00:02:14,277 --> 00:02:16,111
I never saw it. Is it good?
56
00:02:16,112 --> 00:02:17,446
Searching reviews.
57
00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:19,782
Top critic on Rotten Tomatoes says,
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"I walked out of the theater,
and I'm Ed Helms."
59
00:02:22,619 --> 00:02:24,486
Okay, no download, but thanks.
60
00:02:24,487 --> 00:02:26,155
Maybe you are useful.
61
00:02:26,156 --> 00:02:28,023
But I bet you can't answer
this question:
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Brandee, what is love?
63
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,761
John Lennon said, "Love is the answer."
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00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:35,631
He also said,
"No, thanks, every hot woman,
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00:02:35,632 --> 00:02:37,866
"I'll take this woman crawling
out of the well
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00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,269
from The Ring
who none of my friends like."
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00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,137
Yeah, I bet they were
all like, "Oh, no."
68
00:02:42,138 --> 00:02:44,373
- Downloading Yoko Ono.
- Oh, no.
69
00:02:44,374 --> 00:02:46,141
Downloading more Yoko Ono.
70
00:02:46,142 --> 00:02:47,443
No, no. No Ono.
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00:02:47,444 --> 00:02:49,011
Downloading all Yoko Ono.
72
00:02:51,848 --> 00:02:53,115
Oh, no.
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00:02:53,116 --> 00:02:56,350
I don't care
for this music either, David.
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00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:02,224
Boy, you know,
I haven't stayed up all night
75
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,859
talking like that in forever.
76
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,161
And thanks for suggesting
I buy that Fitbit.
77
00:03:06,162 --> 00:03:08,464
Customers who bought Fitbit also bought
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00:03:08,465 --> 00:03:11,400
"enormous exercise ball
that's always in the way."
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00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:13,235
Why not? Just put it on my card.
80
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,570
Oh, good, there she is.
81
00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,572
Brandee, this is very important:
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00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:19,141
what's the biggest poo
anyone has ever pooed?
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00:03:19,142 --> 00:03:20,642
Come on, Peter.
84
00:03:20,643 --> 00:03:23,745
History's largest bowel movement
occurred in 1998,
85
00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,682
at a Hardee's in Memphis,
by Aretha Franklin.
86
00:03:26,683 --> 00:03:28,150
Damn, I owe Chris five bucks.
87
00:03:28,151 --> 00:03:31,252
Chris, you were right, it was '98!
88
00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:36,391
This new hat looks pretty sharp.
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00:03:36,392 --> 00:03:37,759
I bet it does.
90
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,329
Shall I alert you when DickCaps.com
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00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,763
is having another sale?
92
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:45,099
Sure. I'll get that pre-frayed visor.
93
00:03:46,202 --> 00:03:49,438
I, um, I like you, Brandee.
94
00:03:49,439 --> 00:03:51,005
I like you, too.
95
00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:53,942
That's weird.
96
00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,077
You're on a weird date.
97
00:03:55,078 --> 00:03:56,278
Peter, what are you doing here?
98
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,846
Pulling the popcorn bucket trick
on myself.
99
00:04:01,918 --> 00:04:03,752
I still can't find it.
100
00:04:03,753 --> 00:04:05,853
This is humbling.
101
00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:11,093
Whoa.
102
00:04:11,094 --> 00:04:12,761
Welcome to Hodgepodge Lodge.
103
00:04:12,762 --> 00:04:14,363
What the hell is all this crap?
104
00:04:14,364 --> 00:04:15,631
Oh, just stuff Bran suggested I buy.
105
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:17,065
Ooh.
106
00:04:17,066 --> 00:04:20,536
That might be the Every
Shark Tank Item Ever Package.
107
00:04:20,537 --> 00:04:22,638
- Brian Griffin?
- Yes?
108
00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:24,606
I'm from The Apache Collection Agency.
109
00:04:24,607 --> 00:04:27,441
You're way over your credit card limit.
110
00:04:33,716 --> 00:04:35,083
Whoa, h-hold on, hold on!
111
00:04:35,084 --> 00:04:36,818
I didn't buy that, Peter bought that.
112
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,987
I know, but I need one.
113
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:40,789
Brian, before I go,
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00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,724
there's something I want to tell you.
115
00:04:42,725 --> 00:04:44,293
What? What is it?
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00:04:44,294 --> 00:04:48,329
The Grand Canyon spans 277 miles.
117
00:04:49,432 --> 00:04:51,832
I'm gonna miss you, too, Brandee.
118
00:04:56,139 --> 00:04:57,339
Stewie, you know what?
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00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,141
It's hard being a dog.
120
00:04:59,142 --> 00:05:01,176
Maybe if you stopped feeling
sorry for yourself,
121
00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:03,412
you could actually do something
positive with your life.
122
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:04,613
Ah, forget it.
123
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,114
I'm just gonna lie down on the couch
124
00:05:06,115 --> 00:05:09,084
with my head on the armrest
to accentuate how sad I am.
125
00:05:09,085 --> 00:05:11,253
You know, Brian, if I had... aw...
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00:05:11,254 --> 00:05:13,855
one day in your body,
I would give it back to you
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00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:15,524
with a new and improved life.
128
00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:17,359
You know what my response is to that?
129
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,194
A through-the-nose dog exhale.
130
00:05:24,968 --> 00:05:27,936
I realize I've wasted most of
my life being a pathetic jerk.
131
00:05:27,937 --> 00:05:30,638
You know, like you were at Disneyland.
132
00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:34,710
Hey, kid, can you duck down
for this picture?
133
00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:35,877
What? Why?
134
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:37,346
It's our family photo.
135
00:05:37,347 --> 00:05:38,814
You're kind of getting in the way.
136
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:40,549
I'm not ducking down, you duck down.
137
00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:41,717
You're getting in my way.
138
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:43,318
Stop being a brat and duck down.
139
00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:44,486
No way.
140
00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:46,487
In fact, I'm standing.
141
00:05:56,165 --> 00:05:57,833
Whoa, what's this?
142
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,001
Brian, I present to you
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00:05:59,002 --> 00:06:01,637
my Particle Interchange Transporter.
144
00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,913
Wait, wait, wait. So when you
said "spend a day in my body,"
145
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,081
you were being literal?
146
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:14,383
That's right, Brian.
147
00:06:14,384 --> 00:06:16,918
This device will allow me
to inhabit your body,
148
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,020
and you, mine.
149
00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:19,755
That way, I can fix your life,
150
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:22,090
and then, return your body to you.
151
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,226
Now, the instructions
gave me a couple of options.
152
00:06:24,227 --> 00:06:27,062
I chose the one where my voice
will be coming from your body,
153
00:06:27,063 --> 00:06:28,163
and vice-versa.
154
00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:29,398
Still, from time to time,
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00:06:29,399 --> 00:06:31,266
we will have to imitate
the other person's voice
156
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:33,268
to fool those
who don't know what we've done,
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00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:34,736
which is everyone.
158
00:06:34,737 --> 00:06:35,804
Stewie, this is ridiculous.
159
00:06:35,805 --> 00:06:37,439
Trust me. What do you have to lose?
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00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,007
Literally nothing.
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00:06:39,008 --> 00:06:42,177
Fine. But just for the record,
every device you've ever made
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00:06:42,178 --> 00:06:43,945
has broken at some crucial juncture.
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00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:45,113
This one won't.
164
00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:46,448
All right, you talked me into it.
165
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,183
Okay, here we go.
166
00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:49,951
I'll see you on the other side...
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00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,253
of your eyes.
168
00:06:51,254 --> 00:06:53,455
Whoa.
169
00:07:19,582 --> 00:07:21,416
My hand.
170
00:07:21,417 --> 00:07:22,818
I mean, your hand.
171
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:23,919
It's mine.
172
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:24,920
Yes!
173
00:07:24,921 --> 00:07:27,356
Stewie, I think it worked.
174
00:07:27,357 --> 00:07:29,825
We did it. We switched bodies.
175
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,526
Wow, this is really weird.
176
00:07:31,527 --> 00:07:33,295
It feels like... hey.
177
00:07:33,296 --> 00:07:35,863
What the hell have you been
complaining about?
178
00:07:44,308 --> 00:07:47,476
I can't believe we actually
switched bodies, Stewie.
179
00:07:47,477 --> 00:07:49,178
And God, your head.
180
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:50,546
It's so heavy.
181
00:07:50,547 --> 00:07:52,048
Yeah, you got to have a wide base.
182
00:07:52,049 --> 00:07:54,984
Let the shoulders do more.
183
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:57,687
All right, all right, I think,
I think I'm getting it.
184
00:07:57,688 --> 00:07:59,822
Okay, I'm off to get you a job,
185
00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:03,725
a girlfriend,
and onto the road less scummy.
186
00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:10,166
So how exactly are you planning
to get me a job here?
187
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:11,500
It's very easy.
188
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:13,903
My research shows
that every seven minutes,
189
00:08:13,904 --> 00:08:17,073
a professor is fired for having
sex with one of his students.
190
00:08:17,074 --> 00:08:20,076
I simply wait until... oh, here we go.
191
00:08:20,077 --> 00:08:22,745
Are there any unemployed
professors here?
192
00:08:22,746 --> 00:08:24,847
Who haven't had sex with a student
193
00:08:24,848 --> 00:08:28,484
or tweeted about
assassinating the president?
194
00:08:28,485 --> 00:08:30,686
All right, it's you.
195
00:08:30,687 --> 00:08:32,388
Welcome to Poetry 101.
196
00:08:32,389 --> 00:08:33,756
I'm Professor Griffin.
197
00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:35,691
Please open your books
to the introduction,
198
00:08:35,692 --> 00:08:38,226
which defines what poetry is.
199
00:08:39,162 --> 00:08:40,496
Now rip it out.
200
00:08:40,497 --> 00:08:42,064
Do we include the foreword?
201
00:08:42,065 --> 00:08:43,099
Yes, I suppose.
202
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,433
What about the preface?
203
00:08:44,434 --> 00:08:45,568
Yes, the preface, too.
204
00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:47,336
So, not the acknowledgements?
205
00:08:47,337 --> 00:08:48,604
What about the frontispiece?
206
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:50,506
- That's not even a thing.
- Yes, it is.
207
00:08:50,507 --> 00:08:52,775
It's the illustration
facing the title page.
208
00:08:52,776 --> 00:08:54,710
Just rip everything out
that's not poetry.
209
00:08:54,711 --> 00:08:56,779
You wrote on the
board, "Everything is poetry."
210
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,080
Ignore that!
211
00:08:58,081 --> 00:09:00,249
He didn't know what a frontispiece was!
212
00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:02,484
Professor Griffin sucks!
213
00:09:07,090 --> 00:09:08,157
Frontispiece.
214
00:09:15,532 --> 00:09:16,866
What's wrong, honey?
215
00:09:16,867 --> 00:09:19,168
Well, it's a long story,
but I was really hoping
216
00:09:19,169 --> 00:09:21,404
to come home with a job
and a girlfriend today.
217
00:09:21,405 --> 00:09:24,840
I could be your girlfriend,
and give you a job.
218
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,008
Really?
219
00:09:26,009 --> 00:09:27,443
This day's starting to look up.
220
00:09:27,444 --> 00:09:29,612
Follow me into the men's room.
221
00:09:29,613 --> 00:09:31,447
Is this... is this dating?
222
00:09:31,448 --> 00:09:33,549
Is this how dating works?
223
00:09:33,550 --> 00:09:34,617
You're cute.
224
00:09:34,618 --> 00:09:36,117
I like you.
225
00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:39,789
Help! She's trying to eat me!
226
00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:40,956
Get back here!
227
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:42,258
You owe me a hundred dollars!
228
00:09:42,259 --> 00:09:44,360
Anton, we got a runner!
229
00:09:44,361 --> 00:09:46,362
You better pay my wife, bitch.
230
00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:48,297
Go go, Brian dog legs!
231
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,639
Hey, how'd it go fixing my life?
232
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,807
Oh, not great.
233
00:09:57,808 --> 00:09:59,308
There's nothing I can do with this body.
234
00:09:59,309 --> 00:10:01,210
Also, I know this
is a big inconvenience,
235
00:10:01,211 --> 00:10:03,813
but you and the trash guy
now wave to each other.
236
00:10:03,814 --> 00:10:04,980
Ah, really?
237
00:10:04,981 --> 00:10:06,615
It's once a week, it's not that bad.
238
00:10:06,616 --> 00:10:08,150
H-He really lit up.
239
00:10:08,151 --> 00:10:10,252
Oh, and you're gonna hate this,
but I gave him the salute,
240
00:10:10,253 --> 00:10:12,321
so you're a salute guy now.
241
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:13,756
Well, is he a veteran at least?
242
00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:14,824
Does it matter?
243
00:10:14,825 --> 00:10:16,258
You're saluting the trash guy now.
244
00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:17,660
All right, let's switch back.
245
00:10:17,661 --> 00:10:20,129
Just a few more seconds,
and we'll be back to normal.
246
00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,233
- Hey, Chris.
- Hey, four eyes.
247
00:10:24,234 --> 00:10:25,501
What did you call me?
248
00:10:25,502 --> 00:10:26,736
Oh, you're deaf, too?
249
00:10:38,348 --> 00:10:40,249
Wh-What happened?
250
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:41,751
Stewie? Is that you?
251
00:10:41,752 --> 00:10:44,353
Yes, Brian, it's...
God, that is a tight belt.
252
00:10:44,354 --> 00:10:46,922
How does he live like this?
253
00:10:46,923 --> 00:10:49,024
Oh. There we go.
254
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:51,494
If I'm in Chris's body,
he must be in mine.
255
00:10:51,495 --> 00:10:53,362
He's got to be freaking out.
256
00:10:53,363 --> 00:10:56,632
What the hell have you
been complaining about?
257
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:58,333
Oh, my God, Peter!
258
00:10:59,369 --> 00:11:00,870
Peter? You in there?
259
00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:02,872
I feel really weird.
260
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:05,207
What the hell's going on?
What happened to my body?
261
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:07,476
He's panicking. We can't let him
know what's going on.
262
00:11:07,477 --> 00:11:08,878
Don't worry, I got an idea.
263
00:11:08,879 --> 00:11:12,348
Peter, everything's fine.
Just look in the mirror.
264
00:11:12,349 --> 00:11:15,117
Well, here you go, about to put
you in front of the mirror.
265
00:11:15,118 --> 00:11:17,520
Right... now.
266
00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:19,288
Oh, phew, there I am.
267
00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:20,956
Hi, me!
268
00:11:20,957 --> 00:11:22,525
Okay, everything seems normal.
269
00:11:22,526 --> 00:11:25,194
Now to do my traditional "Mirror Dance."
270
00:11:25,195 --> 00:11:26,862
♪ There's a place in France ♪
271
00:11:26,863 --> 00:11:28,697
♪ Where I do my mirror dance ♪
272
00:11:28,698 --> 00:11:32,067
♪ There's a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all ♪
273
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:33,702
♪ But the women don't care ♪
274
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:35,971
♪ 'Cause they're dancin'
in their underwear. ♪
275
00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:37,406
And their bras.
276
00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,308
Okay, that's great, Peter.
Time for your nap.
277
00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:43,913
But I'm not tired!
I want to go to the Clam and...
278
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:45,047
Thank God.
279
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:46,748
All right, just switch us all back.
280
00:11:48,819 --> 00:11:51,520
Oh, my God, the machine's been damaged.
281
00:11:51,521 --> 00:11:53,022
It's broken.
282
00:11:53,023 --> 00:11:55,658
Swapping four bodies
must've overloaded its system.
283
00:11:55,659 --> 00:11:57,760
If I can't fix it,
we'll be like this forever.
284
00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:59,495
This is a total disaster,
285
00:11:59,496 --> 00:12:01,597
like when the fat man
tried to keep Michael Shannon
286
00:12:01,598 --> 00:12:03,531
from going insane.
287
00:12:05,569 --> 00:12:08,537
Meadows. Snowflakes.
288
00:12:08,538 --> 00:12:10,739
Breeze through a cornfield.
289
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:14,276
A soaring bird. Rain on a metal roof.
290
00:12:14,277 --> 00:12:16,745
Hey, Peter, I'm gonna need you
to fill out your time card.
291
00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:19,048
Yeah, sure, I'll have it
by the end of the day.
292
00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:24,286
It's okay.
293
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:27,722
We'll hire new people
and start again tomorrow.
294
00:12:31,595 --> 00:12:33,863
We now return to a human hand
295
00:12:33,864 --> 00:12:35,130
rolling a ball of clay.
296
00:12:35,131 --> 00:12:36,432
- Yay!
- Yay!
297
00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:38,300
Stewie, enough of that.
We have to fix the machine.
298
00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:42,271
Oh, God, the fat man's friends.
299
00:12:42,272 --> 00:12:43,939
What's the black one's name?
300
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:44,940
Cleveland.
301
00:12:44,941 --> 00:12:47,309
Cleveland, right. Cleveland!
302
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:49,612
Peter, you name-remembering
son of a gun.
303
00:12:49,613 --> 00:12:51,280
Come on, we're heading down to the Clam.
304
00:12:51,281 --> 00:12:55,484
Oh, uh, wish I could, Glenn.
Sure could go for a pomtini.
305
00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,920
But, unfortunately,
I've got to help my son Chris
306
00:12:57,921 --> 00:12:59,088
with his homework.
307
00:12:59,089 --> 00:13:00,456
Well, if you finish early...
308
00:13:00,457 --> 00:13:02,591
They've all switched bodies. Let's go.
309
00:13:02,592 --> 00:13:03,792
That was close.
310
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:05,227
All right, let's get upstairs and fix...
311
00:13:05,228 --> 00:13:07,463
Peter, come in
the kitchen, I need your help.
312
00:13:07,464 --> 00:13:09,965
What? Huh? I'm watching something.
313
00:13:09,966 --> 00:13:11,900
Oh, God, keep him busy.
I'll make this quick.
314
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:16,071
Hey, I realized I can reach
the animal crackers,
315
00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:18,574
so I'm actually gonna be a while.
316
00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:20,509
Here, load these in the car.
317
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,945
Are you going away for a long time?
318
00:13:22,946 --> 00:13:24,813
Oh, darn it. Darn.
319
00:13:24,814 --> 00:13:26,615
Please tell me you didn't forget.
320
00:13:26,616 --> 00:13:29,351
This is the weekend we're going
to Dr. Johann's retreat.
321
00:13:29,352 --> 00:13:32,922
Oh, uh, of course. Uh, remind me
what that is again.
322
00:13:32,923 --> 00:13:34,623
It's the couples' sex seminar
323
00:13:34,624 --> 00:13:37,493
where the husband learns
how to give his wife an orgasm.
324
00:13:37,494 --> 00:13:39,495
Wait, are you saying...
325
00:13:39,496 --> 00:13:41,664
we have to have sex this weekend?
326
00:13:41,665 --> 00:13:44,032
Yup. All weekend long.
327
00:13:45,835 --> 00:13:48,337
Now that's what I call a curveball.
328
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,081
Commercial!
329
00:13:58,331 --> 00:14:00,365
Peter? Everything okay?
330
00:14:00,366 --> 00:14:02,567
You hardly spoke the whole car ride.
331
00:14:02,568 --> 00:14:05,070
Uh, I-I was simply thunderstruck
332
00:14:05,071 --> 00:14:08,572
at the prospect
of intercoursing you. Darling.
333
00:14:12,612 --> 00:14:14,079
Brian, you've got to help me.
334
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,748
Lois signed us up for some
perverse, pee-pee-related class
335
00:14:16,749 --> 00:14:18,350
on the female orgasm. She's crazed.
336
00:14:18,351 --> 00:14:19,785
Wow.
337
00:14:19,786 --> 00:14:22,054
You've got to get here with
the machine so I can fix it.
338
00:14:22,055 --> 00:14:24,356
Right. So I can take your place
in Peter's body.
339
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:25,624
No! Bring everybody.
340
00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,259
We've got to get things back to normal.
341
00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:28,760
And hurry, she's all revved up.
342
00:14:41,474 --> 00:14:44,476
45 minutes to Weekapaug.
If we hurry, we can get there
343
00:14:44,477 --> 00:14:46,345
before Stewie's scarred for life.
344
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:48,647
Brian, it's only 10:30 a.m.
345
00:14:48,648 --> 00:14:51,116
Why does my body crave alcohol?
346
00:14:51,117 --> 00:14:52,918
That's perfectly normal
for this time of day.
347
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:55,754
I'm sweating and shaking
and planning out lies.
348
00:14:55,755 --> 00:14:57,622
Yeah, well, why do I have
the overwhelming urge
349
00:14:57,623 --> 00:15:00,125
to eat Cheetos
and masturbate in the woods?
350
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:03,829
Well, because it's 10:30 a.m.
351
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:06,497
I like us learning about each other.
352
00:15:09,469 --> 00:15:11,636
Okay, everyone, please put
your bananas and donuts
353
00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:14,339
back on the table,
we're done with that exercise.
354
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:17,174
Next, we'll focus
on the female genitalia.
355
00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:20,178
Oh, good Lord!
356
00:15:20,179 --> 00:15:24,181
I mean, va-va-voom! Right, other men?
357
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,586
I'm confused as hell,
358
00:15:27,587 --> 00:15:29,187
but I'm enjoying these graham crackers,
359
00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:30,489
so I'm not gonna say anything.
360
00:15:30,490 --> 00:15:32,323
What the hell was that?
361
00:15:33,826 --> 00:15:36,595
I think that was on purpose.
362
00:15:36,596 --> 00:15:38,497
Oh, you think I forgot about you?
363
00:15:38,498 --> 00:15:41,600
You owe my wife 100 bucks
for a lavatory misunderstanding.
364
00:15:41,601 --> 00:15:42,934
Hey, sugar.
365
00:15:42,935 --> 00:15:45,036
I've never seen you before in my life.
366
00:15:45,037 --> 00:15:47,873
Yeah, what are you even
talking... oh, Stewie.
367
00:15:47,874 --> 00:15:48,874
- Aah!
- Aah!
368
00:15:48,875 --> 00:15:51,009
Brian, we got to get out of here.
369
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:52,978
All right, let's have
an inconsistently smashed
370
00:15:52,979 --> 00:15:54,379
windshield chase.
371
00:16:44,163 --> 00:16:46,898
Joe, thank God. We need to get
to the Weekapaug Inn, fast.
372
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:48,066
Can you drive us?
373
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:50,669
No, no.
374
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,872
Oh, God, Joe's swapped bodies
with Consuela.
375
00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:55,273
That must mean...
376
00:16:55,274 --> 00:16:57,275
- Everyone's swapped bodies!
- The whole town swapped bodies!
377
00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:59,845
Damn it, I was gonna say
"the whole town."
378
00:16:59,846 --> 00:17:02,180
I'm standing here for some reason
379
00:17:02,181 --> 00:17:05,217
doing the weather
in a giant black man's body.
380
00:17:05,218 --> 00:17:07,586
What kind of a Friday is this?
381
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:08,587
Freaky!
382
00:17:08,588 --> 00:17:10,088
Back to you, Tom.
383
00:17:10,089 --> 00:17:11,590
This just in,
384
00:17:11,591 --> 00:17:15,260
all kids report to the blue van
in the park at 3:00 p.m.
385
00:17:15,261 --> 00:17:17,863
for free Popsicles.
386
00:17:17,864 --> 00:17:20,599
What the hell? Am I doing a Madea?
387
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,935
Oh, Lord, this time
I'm gonna need a chainsaw.
388
00:17:23,936 --> 00:17:26,271
Don't do it.
Don't do what I was gonna do.
389
00:17:26,272 --> 00:17:28,807
No! No!
390
00:17:28,808 --> 00:17:31,609
You've perverted something beautiful!
391
00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:34,946
Oh, no!
392
00:17:34,947 --> 00:17:36,314
Oh, yeah!
393
00:17:36,315 --> 00:17:39,284
Ho-ho! Is funny 'cause different voices
394
00:17:39,285 --> 00:17:41,620
are coming out of different mouths.
395
00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:43,120
Ha-ha!
396
00:17:51,731 --> 00:17:53,565
Wow, what a seminar.
397
00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:56,301
That Dr. Johann sure knows his stuff.
398
00:17:56,302 --> 00:17:57,402
Get over here.
399
00:17:57,403 --> 00:17:58,737
Ugh! Gross!
400
00:17:58,738 --> 00:18:01,273
I-I mean, uh...
401
00:18:01,274 --> 00:18:02,941
Freakin' sweet, Lois.
402
00:18:02,942 --> 00:18:06,110
Uh, one moment while I Desitin
my junk in the bathroom.
403
00:18:08,581 --> 00:18:10,482
- Stewie?
- Brian, where the hell are you?
404
00:18:10,483 --> 00:18:13,151
Lois just asked me if I want to
see her kid's first apartment.
405
00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:14,819
What does that mean, Brian?
406
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,488
I'm so frightened and confused.
407
00:18:16,489 --> 00:18:18,089
We've got much bigger problems.
408
00:18:18,090 --> 00:18:20,292
We hit a telephone pole,
the machine activated,
409
00:18:20,293 --> 00:18:22,294
and it swapped everybody in town.
410
00:18:22,295 --> 00:18:25,196
Good God. We've got to fix this.
411
00:18:25,197 --> 00:18:28,700
Peter, I'm gonna
open the door with no hands.
412
00:18:32,004 --> 00:18:34,306
Listen to me, Brian,
we've got to act quickly.
413
00:18:34,307 --> 00:18:35,840
I'll walk you through the repairs.
414
00:18:35,841 --> 00:18:38,276
First, open the back panel.
415
00:18:38,277 --> 00:18:39,644
Okay, it's open.
416
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:42,147
All right, now you got to
reverse the voltage orientation
417
00:18:42,148 --> 00:18:44,382
and amplify the electron flow
to the motherboard.
418
00:18:44,383 --> 00:18:46,685
Stewie, just say it in English
or so help me God,
419
00:18:46,686 --> 00:18:48,787
I will hang up
and make you screw your mom.
420
00:18:48,788 --> 00:18:50,487
Switch the black and yellow wires!
421
00:18:53,559 --> 00:18:55,961
Stewie, I see the wires,
but Chris's pudgy fingers
422
00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:57,295
won't fit inside the panel.
423
00:18:57,296 --> 00:18:58,897
Crap. I do this all the time.
424
00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:00,198
Where's me?
425
00:19:00,199 --> 00:19:01,700
Hey, who installed this car seat?
426
00:19:01,701 --> 00:19:03,334
It's not even attached.
427
00:19:05,071 --> 00:19:07,405
One moment, dearest!
428
00:19:07,406 --> 00:19:09,374
Okay, just use his tiny hands
429
00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:11,008
to switch the black and yellow wires.
430
00:19:13,045 --> 00:19:14,879
- Okay, got it.
- I helped.
431
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,381
Great. Now we need to find
432
00:19:16,382 --> 00:19:19,050
an energy source powerful enough
to match the electrical surge
433
00:19:19,051 --> 00:19:20,986
that swapped the town
in the first place.
434
00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:23,054
According to my GPS, you're 20 feet
435
00:19:23,055 --> 00:19:25,389
from the base of
the Quahog cell phone tower.
436
00:19:27,226 --> 00:19:28,526
Okay, I think I found it.
437
00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:30,562
Now I need you to strap
the body swapper on your back
438
00:19:30,563 --> 00:19:32,163
and climb to the top of the tower.
439
00:19:32,164 --> 00:19:33,832
There's no time to waste.
440
00:19:39,605 --> 00:19:42,907
Muncha buncha Fritos!
441
00:19:42,908 --> 00:19:44,909
No!
442
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,444
Brian, hurry!
443
00:19:46,445 --> 00:19:48,246
Stewie, I'm in Chris's body.
444
00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:51,016
I'm dragging 230 pounds
of lard up a ladder.
445
00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:53,685
I'm 215, you liberal dickweed!
446
00:19:56,022 --> 00:19:59,090
Okay, I'm at the top. What now?
447
00:19:59,091 --> 00:20:00,792
Now you have to get struck by lightning.
448
00:20:00,793 --> 00:20:02,193
Well, how do I do that?
449
00:20:02,194 --> 00:20:04,129
You're an atheist, offend God.
450
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,930
Say something you couldn't say on TV.
451
00:20:05,931 --> 00:20:06,931
All right.
452
00:20:06,932 --> 00:20:09,801
Hey, God. (BLEEP)
453
00:20:11,437 --> 00:20:12,970
Not me.
454
00:20:13,806 --> 00:20:16,441
You can't say that.
455
00:20:16,442 --> 00:20:19,309
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
456
00:20:30,723 --> 00:20:34,291
Oh, God. No. No!
457
00:20:51,477 --> 00:20:54,312
You didn't listen to a word
Dr. Johann said, did you?
458
00:20:54,313 --> 00:20:56,414
No, I did not.
459
00:20:56,415 --> 00:21:00,759
I mean... The movie Road House.
460
00:21:01,633 --> 00:21:05,633
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33182
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