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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Can you sense it?
3
00:00:12,811 --> 00:00:14,747
Darkness is descending.
4
00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:17,549
Grave darkness.
5
00:00:19,118 --> 00:00:20,620
Darkness and doom,
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00:00:22,054 --> 00:00:25,692
a great, great evil is on
its way to our little town.
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And it is focused on one man.
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00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,516
Who is he, Mama?
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00:00:52,518 --> 00:00:54,718
This is hard to say,
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00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,790
for he is enshrouded
in many shadows.
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00:00:59,091 --> 00:01:01,260
But he is a man of destiny.
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00:01:04,096 --> 00:01:06,097
Hey, you cutie
wittle, wittle puppies.
13
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:07,464
Who wants some vittles, huh?
14
00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:12,770
I've seen better.
15
00:01:25,918 --> 00:01:27,484
♪ Now gather round
and lend an ear
16
00:01:27,486 --> 00:01:29,320
♪ Pull up a chair,
slam down a beer
17
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:32,589
♪ I've got you all
a story for the ages
18
00:01:32,591 --> 00:01:34,291
♪ Some folks say that
it just ain't true
19
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,960
♪ But doubters is as doubters do
20
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:39,496
♪ But me, I trust what's
in the funny pages
21
00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:42,767
♪ Imagine now if you will
22
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,936
♪ A man of meager means
23
00:01:45,938 --> 00:01:49,139
♪ Who stumbled
'cross lycanthropy
24
00:01:49,141 --> 00:01:52,976
♪ But he don't know
what that means
25
00:01:52,978 --> 00:01:55,746
♪ Bubba, his name's Bubba
26
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:59,183
♪ He was no different
than most folk
27
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:02,954
♪ But know he's Bubba, yes Bubba
28
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,223
♪ Bubba the redneck werewolf
29
00:02:06,225 --> 00:02:07,791
♪ He loves his truck,
he loves his guns
30
00:02:07,793 --> 00:02:09,660
♪ He loves his Bobbie
Jo's tight buns
31
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,697
♪ And howlin' at the
moon is really swell
32
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,798
♪ He may not have
the sharpest wit
33
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,399
♪ Frankly put he's
dumb as
34
00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:19,669
♪ But dammit if at
least he don't mean well
35
00:02:19,671 --> 00:02:22,707
♪ He's teeth are long,
his claws are sharp
36
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:26,077
♪ He's a beast in moon and sun
37
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:29,513
♪ If this defies
your precious science
38
00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:33,216
♪ Well you might
want to cut and run
39
00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:36,186
♪ Bubba, cursed Bubba
40
00:02:36,188 --> 00:02:39,524
♪ Your humanity's been revoked
41
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:43,293
♪ Oh, Bubba, fuzzy Bubba
42
00:02:43,295 --> 00:02:46,464
♪ Bubba the redneck werewolf
43
00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,065
♪ Some say he's lazy as a dog
44
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,900
♪ Ole Harper says he ate the hog
45
00:02:49,902 --> 00:02:53,171
♪ And all we all agree
he could shed less
46
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,804
♪ But when the keg is truly out
47
00:02:54,806 --> 00:02:56,374
♪ When fears and
trouble start to mount
48
00:02:56,376 --> 00:03:00,110
♪ One man was always there
to save our ass, yahoo
49
00:03:00,112 --> 00:03:02,947
♪ Bubba, brave Bubba
50
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:06,284
♪ You're a hero for us yokels
51
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:10,120
♪ Oh Bubba, I love ya Bubba
52
00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:13,457
♪ Bubba the redneck werewolf
53
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:16,827
♪ Bubba the redneck werewolf
54
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:20,599
♪ Bubba the redneck werewolf
55
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:32,245
Y'all ready for your
midnight snack, ain't ya?
56
00:03:40,986 --> 00:03:43,221
Aw, come on, wait for
your turn, Sixpack,
57
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,623
Moonshine, Dale Earnhardt.
58
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:46,990
I ain't forgot about you.
59
00:03:46,992 --> 00:03:50,193
Don't I always do right by you?
60
00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:52,062
I sure as hell do.
61
00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:53,663
I give Skippy extra walks,
62
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:55,666
and Rubby I give
extra tummy pats,
63
00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:56,502
and Kinky,
64
00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,669
I stay the hell
outta Kinky's way.
65
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:04,941
Everybody needs somebody
to take care of 'em,
66
00:04:04,943 --> 00:04:06,543
and y'all got me.
67
00:04:06,545 --> 00:04:08,046
Yeah, you do, aww,
68
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:11,181
you best be glad of that, too.
69
00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,351
This crazy world's
fulla all kinds of shit.
70
00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:15,688
Aww, shit.
71
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:20,690
Ugh.
72
00:04:26,331 --> 00:04:28,065
Got shit in your hair again?
73
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,199
No!
74
00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:30,735
Know you're talkin' about.
75
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,435
Well, there's a reason I
give you the night shift,
76
00:04:32,437 --> 00:04:33,671
Shithead.
77
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,772
You ain't fit for
polite society.
78
00:04:35,774 --> 00:04:37,240
I am too.
79
00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:38,709
I'm goin' down to the
Rusty Bombshell right now
80
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:39,909
to see my girl.
81
00:04:39,911 --> 00:04:43,514
Bobbie Jo
ain't any more your girl
82
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,384
than the Rusty Bombshell's
polite society.
83
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,252
You might as well
just lock yourself in
84
00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:51,454
with the rest of them mutt
bastards and call it a night.
85
00:04:51,456 --> 00:04:53,791
I really wish y'all'd
let me wear my hat in here.
86
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,760
You know I feel
naked without it.
87
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:56,961
Why?
88
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,995
So you can get
shit in that, too?
89
00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:00,331
Shithead.
90
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:01,134
No!
91
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:02,935
Shut Up!
92
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,245
You're listening
to KRUD, the krud.
93
00:05:15,247 --> 00:05:17,315
I'm back, baby.
94
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,418
I know you understand me.
95
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:21,551
Let's get drunk!
96
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:27,223
♪ And I'm a southern man
97
00:05:27,225 --> 00:05:29,392
♪ And I'm straight outta hell
98
00:05:29,394 --> 00:05:33,897
♪ You ain't never
gonna hold me down
99
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:38,002
♪ When push comes to shove
I'll be standin' up above
100
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:42,406
♪ I'll always drag my
heels in the ground
101
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:46,743
♪ I like to drink and smoke
and that ain't no joke
102
00:05:46,745 --> 00:05:51,315
♪ I sure do like to have my fun
103
00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,651
♪ When my best friend calls
104
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,519
♪ You know I will give my all
105
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:59,255
♪ I'm gonna die before I'm old
106
00:05:59,257 --> 00:06:02,760
Maybe tonight'll be the
night we win Bobbie Jo back.
107
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,127
♪ Straight outta hell
108
00:06:04,129 --> 00:06:08,699
♪ You ain't never
seen a fella like me
109
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,767
♪ Well I done my share of wrong
110
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,937
♪ And I spent some time in jail
111
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:16,005
♪ I need some good
judge to set me free
112
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:16,940
Oh, hey, Jimbo.
113
00:06:16,942 --> 00:06:19,476
How you doin', man?
114
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,312
Bethany Ann,
115
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,079
Lookin' good.
116
00:06:23,081 --> 00:06:23,947
Wake up, Monty.
117
00:06:25,617 --> 00:06:27,687
Cletus, you sumbitch you.
118
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:29,786
You smell like shit, Bubba.
119
00:06:29,788 --> 00:06:31,187
What?
120
00:06:31,189 --> 00:06:34,091
No, man, it's my new
colognes, High Karate, hai!
121
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:35,493
You smell like shit, Bubba.
122
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,560
- Whattaya have?
- What?
123
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:37,695
The cheapest.
124
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:40,498
Okay, Cornstock Light it is.
125
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,300
Y'all ain't seen Bobbie Jo
around here lately, have you?
126
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,137
Uh, well, yeah, she's...
127
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,372
Howdy y'all doin'
there, Cousin Bubba!
128
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,606
Shit.
129
00:06:49,608 --> 00:06:51,442
How long's it been,
like a couple years?
130
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,877
I can remember when
you was yay tall.
131
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:56,579
Man, I see you every
damn day, Clovis.
132
00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:58,615
I'm older than you are!
133
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:00,216
Really?
134
00:07:00,218 --> 00:07:01,719
Then who am I thinkin' of?
135
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,120
I don't know.
136
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,322
Anyways, you seen
Bobbie Jo lately?
137
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,625
I'm kinda backed up, know
what I mean?
138
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,760
And she seemed
kinda distant too,
139
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,161
you know what I mean?
140
00:07:11,163 --> 00:07:12,962
I never know what you mean.
141
00:07:12,964 --> 00:07:14,531
But you don't need
her, Cousin Bubba.
142
00:07:14,533 --> 00:07:16,267
- You got me.
- What?
143
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,735
That's just gross, man.
144
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:20,271
You're my third
cousin, once removed.
145
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,740
Maybe if you was my second
cousin, I'd think about it.
146
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,209
No, no, no, that's not what
I'm talkin' about, Bubba.
147
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:26,243
Well why not?
148
00:07:26,245 --> 00:07:27,079
Hmm?
149
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,747
Where is she?
150
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,615
She's at her AAA meetin'.
151
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,082
You mean AA meetin'?
152
00:07:33,084 --> 00:07:34,452
They got those
here on Thursdays.
153
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,719
No, I mean triple A meetin'.
154
00:07:36,721 --> 00:07:38,055
She's makin' out
with Dangerous Dwight
155
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,057
in his fancy car.
156
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,425
The Automobile
Association of America
157
00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:44,562
is not to be trifled with.
158
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,731
But I don't think gang bang
is part of the road services
159
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:49,933
described in the manual,
160
00:07:49,935 --> 00:07:53,104
since I no longer
get the newsletters.
161
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,683
I'm gonna kick your ass!
162
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,385
What are you gonna do now?
163
00:08:09,387 --> 00:08:13,623
Motherfucker, I fuckin' hate
cell phones and beepers!
164
00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:15,227
Aw, son of a bitch!
165
00:08:16,428 --> 00:08:18,394
Well that oughta teach
you to steal my girl,
166
00:08:18,396 --> 00:08:20,331
Dangerous Dwight.
167
00:08:27,939 --> 00:08:28,873
Oh.
168
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,574
Bubba Beauregard Blanch.
169
00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:34,244
What you got against Billy
Bob's front headlight?
170
00:08:34,246 --> 00:08:36,213
You got a bone to
pick with me, Bubba?
171
00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,480
Well, no sir.
172
00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:38,648
I just thought you
and Bobbie Jo was
173
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,050
messin' around in there.
174
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,252
Hell no.
175
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:44,220
I was messin' around
with Bobbie Jo in there.
176
00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:46,458
Bobbie Jo, how could you?
177
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,959
Why wouldn't I?
178
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,262
Dwight and I have been datin'
for like two months now.
179
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,030
Or haven't you noticed.
180
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,098
Well back in high
school, you and me we...
181
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,566
Yeah, in high school.
182
00:08:56,568 --> 00:08:59,802
A lot more than just a decade's
changed since then, Bubba.
183
00:08:59,804 --> 00:09:01,972
Grown ass gal needs
a grown ass man,
184
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,340
a man's man, one that
can fix motorcycles
185
00:09:04,342 --> 00:09:07,277
and has a double-wide
trailer, right?
186
00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:10,147
He does have a pretty
sweet-ass trailer, Bubba.
187
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:13,117
It's got a toaster that
fits four slices of bread,
188
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:16,554
and a clicker for his TV that
he ain't never lost once.
189
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,787
The clicker?
190
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,522
Babe, if you just give
me a little bit of time
191
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:20,357
I could find...
192
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,492
But you don't, Bubba.
193
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:22,725
You never have.
194
00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:24,295
You don't stand up for yourself.
195
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,329
You don't take responsibility.
196
00:09:26,331 --> 00:09:28,866
I've got a job just
like you said I oughta do.
197
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:31,100
Yeah, back in high school,
198
00:09:31,102 --> 00:09:34,637
and 10 years later you
still smell like puppy shit.
199
00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:36,205
You look like it too, Bubba.
200
00:09:36,207 --> 00:09:38,175
Why, you ain't even
got decent arm holes.
201
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,142
What's wrong
with my arm holes?
202
00:09:39,144 --> 00:09:40,411
What isn't?
203
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,546
They look like they was
cut with pinkin' shears.
204
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,847
My arm holes?
205
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,517
Now these was done with
proper fuckin' scissors.
206
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,718
That's right, Bubba.
207
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,587
I own proper fuckin' scissors.
208
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,324
Only way to maintain sleeveless
flannel shirt upkeep.
209
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,791
Well babe,
210
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:58,362
you gonna let him talk about
my arm holes like that?
211
00:09:58,364 --> 00:09:59,629
Are you?
212
00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:03,132
Bubba, you ain't man
enough for Bobbie Jo.
213
00:10:03,134 --> 00:10:05,435
No, no sir,
I never said I was.
214
00:10:05,437 --> 00:10:06,970
Well I got more hair on my ass
215
00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:10,608
than you got on that poor
excuse for a baldin' head.
216
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:15,878
It's true.
217
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,114
I don't feel safe goin'
around with you, Bubba,
218
00:10:18,116 --> 00:10:21,852
not with all them hillbilly
rapists they got around here,
219
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:24,887
and them folks that
steal your shoes.
220
00:10:24,889 --> 00:10:28,092
I would, I'd give
my life for you.
221
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,393
I'd maybe even give my truck.
222
00:10:30,395 --> 00:10:34,098
Hell, Bob, I'd sell
my sorry ass soul if
223
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,566
I knew it'd do you any good.
224
00:10:36,568 --> 00:10:37,834
If you think you're
man enough, Bubba,
225
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:39,236
fight me for her,
count of three.
226
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:40,204
Oh, no,
sir, I never said...
227
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,472
- What, no!
- One,
228
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,906
Ain't you even
gonna try, Bubba?
229
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:43,873
Two,
230
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:44,874
Look, let's flip for her.
231
00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:45,709
Three!
232
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,081
Oh, look what you did.
233
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:56,052
The darkness is here.
234
00:10:56,054 --> 00:10:57,720
I can feel it in my gut.
235
00:10:57,722 --> 00:10:59,656
I feel it in my bones.
236
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,492
It's probably gas.
237
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,861
I feel it in my ass!
238
00:11:30,822 --> 00:11:32,656
Just take it
easy, Cousin Bubba.
239
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,358
There's always more
crabs in the sea.
240
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,592
Huh?
241
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:36,826
Damn, she give
you crabs, Bubba?
242
00:11:36,828 --> 00:11:38,563
What? Hell no, man!
243
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,299
Bobbie Jo ain't got no crabs.
244
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,068
Then she done
give you lobsters.
245
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,704
You're gonna need that
special comb and conditioner.
246
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:47,970
I like lobsters.
247
00:11:47,972 --> 00:11:49,873
Red Lobster's got them
cheddar cheese biscuits
248
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,275
that are to die fer.
249
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,776
Long John Silver's
ain't bad, neither.
250
00:11:53,778 --> 00:11:55,945
Can't catch crabs at
Long John Silvers.
251
00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:58,715
Just shut the hell
up and leave me alone!
252
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,117
Oh, you're never alone,
253
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:02,352
as long as you have
love in your heart.
254
00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:03,189
Go away!
255
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:06,891
Okay.
256
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,296
Can I just have
another shot, please?
257
00:12:13,298 --> 00:12:16,733
Sure thing, Bubba.
258
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,007
Man,
259
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:27,178
I'd do anything to
get Bobbie Jo back.
260
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,343
♪ Well it's only me
261
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:00,810
Hey there, Bubba.
262
00:13:00,812 --> 00:13:03,247
Sure looks like you're
having yourself a hard time.
263
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,748
Yeah.
264
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,816
I don't really feel like
talkin' about it, though.
265
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,722
You know, that's the
beautiful thing about life.
266
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,590
You don't have to talk about it,
267
00:13:14,592 --> 00:13:17,161
you just gotta change it.
268
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,595
- What?
- Yeah, what do you, whoa!
269
00:13:19,597 --> 00:13:21,565
Man, you don't look right.
270
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,065
Oh, you mean this?
271
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:25,268
Nothin', it's just a sunburn.
272
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,271
I got it on a business trip.
273
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,504
It was pure hell.
274
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:38,448
Oh, tell you what, Bubba,
let me buy you a round,
275
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,550
or 20.
276
00:13:40,552 --> 00:13:42,388
Gee, thanks, mister.
277
00:13:46,357 --> 00:13:47,623
Come on, Bubba.
278
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,593
Tell me what you
want out of life.
279
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,764
What would make you happy?
280
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,464
Well, I guess
whatever it takes
281
00:13:55,466 --> 00:13:57,533
to win back Bobbie Jo.
282
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:01,507
Hell yeah.
283
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:11,549
Mmm.
284
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,884
Jack and Sammy?
285
00:14:14,886 --> 00:14:17,854
Ha, I must've died and
gone to heaven.
286
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:18,689
Heaven?
287
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,922
No, no.
288
00:14:19,924 --> 00:14:21,391
Heaven gets top
shelf and imports.
289
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,526
But we're not gonna worry
about that right now.
290
00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:26,530
Come on, Bubba, tell
me what you want.
291
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,730
What I want?
292
00:14:27,732 --> 00:14:31,033
Yeah, tell me what
you really, really want.
293
00:14:31,035 --> 00:14:35,104
Well, I wanna be
strong and powerful,
294
00:14:35,106 --> 00:14:38,975
and I wanna be a macho
man, with hair on my chest,
295
00:14:38,977 --> 00:14:41,210
and hair on my head.
296
00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:43,412
I don't wanna go bald no more,
297
00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:45,214
and I want people to love me,
298
00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:48,050
and count on me to
protect 'em and whatnot.
299
00:14:48,052 --> 00:14:49,786
Yeah, and I wanna
be strong enough
300
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:52,055
to take on whoever,
whatever might come my way,
301
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,523
you know what I mean?
302
00:14:54,525 --> 00:14:57,160
Okay, anything else?
303
00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,095
I could use a
four-slice toaster.
304
00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:02,666
Okay,
here's what I got.
305
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,700
You're gonna be the
strongest, most powerful,
306
00:15:04,702 --> 00:15:07,671
baddest bad ass in
this entire town.
307
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:11,174
You'll be lovable
and happy as hell.
308
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:12,943
And as far as that
whole bald thing goes,
309
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,044
don't worry about it.
310
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,579
Your hair is gonna be so dense
311
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,482
that your conditioner's gonna
need fuckin' conditioner.
312
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,682
What?
313
00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:22,118
But, all you gotta
do is sign this.
314
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,186
You sign this right now,
315
00:15:24,188 --> 00:15:27,123
and I will get you
this one-of-a-kind,
316
00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:31,297
state-of-the-art General
Electric four-slice toaster.
317
00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:34,430
Seriously?
318
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:35,666
Hey, let me tell
you somethin'.
319
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,434
The toaster alone is
worth the whole deal,
320
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:38,669
but you know, Bubba?
321
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,704
I like you, no, I
really like you.
322
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,573
I'm gonna throw in a
beautiful smokeless ash tray,
323
00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:46,108
- and a vegetable peeler.
- What?
324
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,243
Holy shit!
325
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:48,712
You mean I get all three?
326
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:49,912
No, no, no, the vegetable
peeler's off the table,
327
00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:51,348
you took to long.
328
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,783
No, me and Bobbie Jo
needs that vegetable peeler.
329
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,084
You keep whinin' like
that and I'm gonna take away
330
00:15:55,086 --> 00:15:56,320
that ash tray, too.
331
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,754
No, man, I need that
smokeless ash tray.
332
00:15:58,756 --> 00:16:01,557
Then all you gotta
do is sign here,
333
00:16:01,559 --> 00:16:02,827
- and here,
- Yep.
334
00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:06,629
and initial it right there.
335
00:16:10,568 --> 00:16:12,368
Hell yeah.
336
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,271
Oh, thanks.
337
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,372
You know, Bubba?
338
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:16,906
I didn't think you had it in ya,
339
00:16:16,908 --> 00:16:20,544
but you've made a very wise
choice, a very wise choice.
340
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,646
Well let's shake
on it like men.
341
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,414
Sure, don't mind if I do.
342
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:25,781
Ow!
343
00:16:25,783 --> 00:16:27,517
That's a little warm.
344
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:28,752
Sunburn, remember?
345
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:30,286
I didn't know
it was contagious.
346
00:16:30,288 --> 00:16:33,290
Well, I'm off to take in
a few of the local sights.
347
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:36,193
Maybe a few locals
too, while I'm at it.
348
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,030
See you around, Fuzzy.
349
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,263
All right, man.
350
00:16:41,265 --> 00:16:44,033
Man, I really wanted
that vegetable peeler.
351
00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:53,739
Whoa.
352
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,212
Must be dreamin'.
353
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:08,485
If I'm dreamin' this
ain't gonna hurt a bit.
354
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,989
Guess I was dreamin'.
355
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,071
Holy shit, I'm a werewolf.
356
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:29,975
I'm a fuckin' werewolf.
357
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:31,710
Awesome!
358
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:35,277
Woo!
359
00:18:36,781 --> 00:18:38,815
I vant to suck your blood.
360
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:42,788
Bond, Bubba Bond.
361
00:18:43,788 --> 00:18:45,521
You talkin' to me?
362
00:18:45,523 --> 00:18:47,591
Are you talkin' to me?
363
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:48,859
Ohhhh!
364
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,927
You, really, you talkin' to me?
365
00:18:52,396 --> 00:18:53,430
Better not.
366
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,701
I'm a fuckin' werewolf, ha!
367
00:18:57,068 --> 00:18:58,636
Oowie, damn, ha ha!
368
00:19:00,338 --> 00:19:01,205
Yeah, yeah!
369
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:03,275
Oh.
370
00:19:06,377 --> 00:19:07,477
What's that?
371
00:19:11,215 --> 00:19:13,816
Probably not important.
372
00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,017
Hello?
373
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:50,519
But, but Ms. Reynolds,
374
00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:52,523
I know, I know I'm late.
375
00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:54,927
Fine.
376
00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:58,497
Work time.
377
00:20:12,944 --> 00:20:14,878
Shithead, I'm warnin' you.
378
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,845
You show up late one more time,
379
00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:18,315
just one more time, and I'll...
380
00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:22,818
You'll what?
381
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,575
Bubba!
382
00:20:46,577 --> 00:20:47,776
Bubba!
383
00:20:47,778 --> 00:20:49,379
Bubba!
384
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,817
Come back here, you shithead!
385
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,873
Yeah, I'm gonna
like it around here.
386
00:21:17,875 --> 00:21:20,376
Hell is on the way,
he's lookin' right at you.
387
00:21:20,378 --> 00:21:22,312
Prayer card, prayer
card, hello, sir.
388
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:23,513
Prayer cards.
389
00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:25,481
Prayer card, oh
lord, prayer cards.
390
00:21:25,483 --> 00:21:27,182
Get your prayer card,
hell is on its way
391
00:21:27,184 --> 00:21:30,253
and it's lookin' right
at you, prayer card.
392
00:21:33,991 --> 00:21:35,859
Put him on the phone.
393
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,193
Well then he can shave
his own damn back.
394
00:21:38,195 --> 00:21:40,462
I don't care, have him come
over here and say that.
395
00:21:57,682 --> 00:21:59,282
Prayer cards.
396
00:21:59,284 --> 00:22:00,382
Collect 'em all.
397
00:22:00,384 --> 00:22:01,183
Prayer cards.
398
00:22:03,387 --> 00:22:04,988
Oh my god.
399
00:22:10,127 --> 00:22:11,294
Uh, oh my god.
400
00:23:07,618 --> 00:23:10,288
Ah!
401
00:23:47,625 --> 00:23:49,758
Hey buddy, can
you lend me a hand?
402
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,195
Why sure thing.
403
00:24:03,741 --> 00:24:06,442
And now, down to business.
404
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,457
How come you're
always, here, Cletus?
405
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,924
Don't you never go home?
406
00:24:21,926 --> 00:24:23,692
Well, I lost my
testicles in 'Nam,
407
00:24:23,694 --> 00:24:25,795
so I don't have to work.
408
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:28,797
My wife left me, dog died,
409
00:24:28,799 --> 00:24:29,634
my cat,
410
00:24:31,368 --> 00:24:33,236
well, I don't even have a cat.
411
00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:35,572
So what do I have
to go home for?
412
00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:37,140
Don't you have any hobbies?
413
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:40,910
Besides wishin' I
had my testicles back?
414
00:24:40,912 --> 00:24:42,144
No.
415
00:24:50,689 --> 00:24:51,921
Hey, Jamie Sue.
416
00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:54,990
You look
good enough to eat.
417
00:24:54,992 --> 00:24:56,124
Hey, Bubba.
418
00:24:56,126 --> 00:24:56,959
How are you today?
419
00:24:58,896 --> 00:25:02,231
Oh, you know, runnin'
around with some dogs,
420
00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:04,100
kinda lost track of time.
421
00:25:04,102 --> 00:25:08,505
Uh-huh, well, it's never
too early for a drink.
422
00:25:09,740 --> 00:25:12,674
Hey, I can't
drink a Silver Bullet.
423
00:25:12,676 --> 00:25:15,010
But it's the cheapest today.
424
00:25:15,012 --> 00:25:16,045
Give me somethin' better.
425
00:25:16,047 --> 00:25:17,247
I'm celebratin'.
426
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:19,084
Give me somethin' red.
427
00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:21,920
Cornstock Red it is.
428
00:25:22,921 --> 00:25:25,054
Bubba, ever tell you about
429
00:25:25,056 --> 00:25:26,855
how I lost my testicles in 'Nam?
430
00:25:26,857 --> 00:25:28,624
Hey, don't y'all
notice nothin' different
431
00:25:28,626 --> 00:25:29,860
about me today?
432
00:25:31,663 --> 00:25:32,596
No, wait.
433
00:25:34,365 --> 00:25:36,431
Did you wash your hat?
434
00:25:36,433 --> 00:25:38,668
Yeah, your hat
does look cleaner.
435
00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:42,440
Seriously?
436
00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:46,808
Well, your breath does
stink a little more.
437
00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:48,076
And?
438
00:25:48,078 --> 00:25:50,113
You smell a bit less
like shit than usual.
439
00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:52,349
Y'all are pissin' me off.
440
00:25:54,051 --> 00:25:55,584
And it's makin' me hungry.
441
00:26:05,329 --> 00:26:06,930
And that's how I
spelled the letter T
442
00:26:06,932 --> 00:26:08,898
when I was a cheerleader.
443
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,732
Found my wallet.
444
00:26:10,734 --> 00:26:11,968
Dammit, Bubba.
445
00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:13,635
You spilled hot
sauce everywhere.
446
00:26:13,637 --> 00:26:14,804
I'm sorry, Jamie Sue.
447
00:26:14,806 --> 00:26:17,873
These chicken wings
are delicious.
448
00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:20,442
Think you could
tackle a fifth plate?
449
00:26:20,444 --> 00:26:22,946
Yeah, maybe one more.
450
00:26:31,189 --> 00:26:32,689
Can't believe I'm still hungry.
451
00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:34,856
I can't believe he
ate 700 chicken wings.
452
00:26:34,858 --> 00:26:37,125
I can't believe the
bill I'm gonna give you.
453
00:26:45,170 --> 00:26:46,835
What do you
happy-go-lucky boys want?
454
00:26:46,837 --> 00:26:48,071
I don't know,
455
00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:50,606
how 'bout all the money
in the cash register?
456
00:26:50,608 --> 00:26:52,307
That ain't
one of them real guns.
457
00:26:52,309 --> 00:26:54,043
That's one of them
there fake ones.
458
00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:55,244
Oh yeah?
459
00:26:55,246 --> 00:26:56,546
Well then this shouldn't
hurt one little bit.
460
00:26:59,116 --> 00:27:02,651
Jamie Sue, got
any more of this hot sauce?
461
00:27:02,653 --> 00:27:04,786
I think this bottle's empty.
462
00:27:04,788 --> 00:27:06,488
What the fuck?
463
00:27:06,490 --> 00:27:08,224
You said this
wouldn't hurt one bit.
464
00:27:09,827 --> 00:27:11,760
He were right, I told ya.
465
00:27:11,762 --> 00:27:15,664
Y'all ain't got nothin'
but BB guns.
466
00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:17,501
Bubba, are you okay?
467
00:27:18,369 --> 00:27:20,702
Because I'm not sure, but
468
00:27:20,704 --> 00:27:22,872
I think you've just been shot,
469
00:27:22,874 --> 00:27:23,706
twice.
470
00:27:23,708 --> 00:27:24,974
Really?
471
00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:25,975
I thought I heard
a couple gunshots.
472
00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:27,879
Bubba, your shoulder.
473
00:27:31,281 --> 00:27:32,748
It ain't hot sauce?
474
00:27:32,750 --> 00:27:35,584
No, Bubba, you just been
shot by them two boys,
475
00:27:35,586 --> 00:27:37,019
the ones holdin' guns.
476
00:27:37,021 --> 00:27:41,192
Why you boys
interruptin' my dinner?
477
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,728
What the fuck is that?
478
00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:48,030
It's a Bigfoot thing?
479
00:27:48,032 --> 00:27:49,265
I
don't know, I think it's
480
00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:50,533
one of them hairy
carnival people.
481
00:27:50,535 --> 00:27:52,267
I think it's one
of them goat boys.
482
00:27:52,269 --> 00:27:53,603
You a goat boy?
483
00:27:53,605 --> 00:27:54,536
Baa.
484
00:27:54,538 --> 00:27:56,405
Cletus, get behind the bar.
485
00:27:56,407 --> 00:27:58,574
Damn kids and their cap guns.
486
00:27:58,576 --> 00:28:01,244
No respect for us Vietnam vets.
487
00:28:01,246 --> 00:28:03,845
Well you just, you
just stop right there.
488
00:28:03,847 --> 00:28:06,349
Don't know what the
fuck you are, but
489
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,852
you sit, you stay.
490
00:28:11,455 --> 00:28:14,390
Smells like at least one
of you boys shit your pants.
491
00:28:14,392 --> 00:28:17,192
I'm tryin' to eat over here.
492
00:28:17,194 --> 00:28:19,161
No, we wouldn'ta done
anything like that.
493
00:28:19,163 --> 00:28:22,832
If it ain't shit, it
can only be one thing,
494
00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:25,968
fear.
495
00:28:37,281 --> 00:28:38,215
Oh, shit.
496
00:28:39,584 --> 00:28:40,418
Oh, shit.
497
00:28:42,252 --> 00:28:44,588
You done pissin' yourself?
498
00:28:45,656 --> 00:28:46,855
Yes, sir.
499
00:28:46,857 --> 00:28:47,692
Good.
500
00:28:58,236 --> 00:28:59,768
Batter's up.
501
00:29:10,414 --> 00:29:11,748
Hope y'all don't mind.
502
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,183
I'm still hungry.
503
00:29:14,118 --> 00:29:15,418
God almighty, Bubba.
504
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,885
You are not gettin'
one more chicken wing
505
00:29:16,887 --> 00:29:20,189
until you help me
clean this shit up!
506
00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:22,824
I ain't hungry for chicken.
507
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,497
Don't get excited, Jamie Sue.
508
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:29,532
You know, I'm startin'
to think there's a
509
00:29:29,534 --> 00:29:31,834
bit more different
about Bubba than just
510
00:29:31,836 --> 00:29:34,237
stinkier breath
and a cleaner hat.
511
00:29:34,239 --> 00:29:35,573
Oh, you think?
512
00:29:36,641 --> 00:29:38,074
I do.
513
00:29:38,076 --> 00:29:42,844
He ain't just some damn,
dumb redneck anymore, he's a,
514
00:29:42,846 --> 00:29:44,913
he's a warrior,
515
00:29:44,915 --> 00:29:47,115
a warrior fightin' for justice
516
00:29:47,117 --> 00:29:49,017
and the American way of life.
517
00:29:49,019 --> 00:29:50,753
And he eats human corpses.
518
00:29:50,755 --> 00:29:52,255
Yeah, just pour
me another drink
519
00:29:52,257 --> 00:29:56,592
and I'll tell ya how I lost
my balls in the Tet Offensive.
520
00:30:02,333 --> 00:30:03,799
So you're sayin' my soul,
521
00:30:03,801 --> 00:30:06,201
the only part of me
that lives beyond death,
522
00:30:06,203 --> 00:30:09,238
given to me by God so that
I can live forever and ever,
523
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:10,840
and the only part
of me that is truly
524
00:30:10,842 --> 00:30:12,307
and wholly me,
525
00:30:12,309 --> 00:30:13,809
Indubitably.
526
00:30:13,811 --> 00:30:16,144
The vital animated
principle of my bein',
527
00:30:16,146 --> 00:30:19,215
credited with the faculties of
thought, action and emotion,
528
00:30:19,217 --> 00:30:21,517
separable from the
body only at death,
529
00:30:21,519 --> 00:30:23,385
and susceptible to
everlastin' torment
530
00:30:23,387 --> 00:30:24,921
or eternal happiness,
531
00:30:24,923 --> 00:30:27,155
my entire spiritual nature,
532
00:30:27,157 --> 00:30:28,824
in exchange for a
third hand, what,
533
00:30:28,826 --> 00:30:31,160
that I can tickle my balls
with while I jerk off?
534
00:30:31,162 --> 00:30:32,694
Exactly.
535
00:30:32,696 --> 00:30:34,564
Well then, you
have yourself a deal.
536
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:36,065
Ah, you're a good man.
537
00:30:36,067 --> 00:30:37,232
And like most, I'm
sure you want to try
538
00:30:37,234 --> 00:30:40,135
the old salami
slide, menage a palm,
539
00:30:40,137 --> 00:30:41,636
the whipping of the bishop,
540
00:30:41,638 --> 00:30:43,672
and nailin' a couple of
cardinals at the same time.
541
00:30:43,674 --> 00:30:45,274
As we like to say below,
542
00:30:45,276 --> 00:30:47,010
the more the merrier.
543
00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:50,179
Put her there, pal.
544
00:30:50,181 --> 00:30:51,814
No thanks.
545
00:30:51,816 --> 00:30:52,849
You have a blast.
546
00:30:53,750 --> 00:30:54,853
Oh, oh boy.
547
00:30:57,355 --> 00:30:58,220
Oh boy, oh boy.
548
00:30:58,222 --> 00:30:59,455
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
549
00:30:59,457 --> 00:31:00,258
Excuse me.
550
00:31:04,561 --> 00:31:06,194
Oh, this is gonna be so good.
551
00:31:07,498 --> 00:31:10,199
Ah, no,
552
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:11,767
no, no, no, no, no, no!
553
00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:13,068
It won't reach!
554
00:31:13,070 --> 00:31:14,402
It won't reach!
555
00:31:14,404 --> 00:31:17,105
It won't fucking reach!
556
00:31:27,251 --> 00:31:29,418
♪ I got that change in my pocket
557
00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:30,221
Bubba?
558
00:31:31,655 --> 00:31:34,123
I don't understand all of
what just happened, but
559
00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,658
thanks a million.
560
00:31:35,660 --> 00:31:36,992
My pleasure, Jamie Sue.
561
00:31:36,994 --> 00:31:40,328
To be honest, I'm not
sure what come over me.
562
00:31:40,330 --> 00:31:42,030
Never eaten a man before.
563
00:31:42,032 --> 00:31:44,667
What come over ya is
that fightin' spirit.
564
00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:47,603
You ain't that lame-ass
pussy like you used to be.
565
00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:48,871
Eatin' the flesh of your enemies
566
00:31:48,873 --> 00:31:50,373
without barfin'
all over yourself,
567
00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:52,074
that's given you spunk,
568
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:54,075
and I don't mean that
kinda spunk you get
569
00:31:54,077 --> 00:31:57,313
at them VC jack-shack
parlors.
570
00:32:07,057 --> 00:32:08,490
I'm gonna load
up on the jukebox.
571
00:32:08,492 --> 00:32:10,558
Get me a drink, would
you, bubble buns?
572
00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:17,333
♪ That's when he started to
shove and I needed my space
573
00:32:17,335 --> 00:32:21,437
♪ So I poked him in the eye
and I laughed in his face
574
00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:25,074
♪ I'm standin' up in front of
him, just a combin' my hair
575
00:32:25,076 --> 00:32:28,777
♪ Said I'm too mean to die,
and I'm much too drunk to care.
576
00:32:28,779 --> 00:32:30,379
Who's the new guy?
577
00:32:30,381 --> 00:32:31,212
Damn.
578
00:32:31,214 --> 00:32:32,047
Who?
579
00:32:32,049 --> 00:32:33,615
You mean Bubba?
580
00:32:33,617 --> 00:32:36,986
No, that ripped fella
with all that glorious hair.
581
00:32:36,988 --> 00:32:39,121
Yeah, that's Bubba.
582
00:32:39,123 --> 00:32:40,323
What?
583
00:32:40,325 --> 00:32:41,423
That ain't the
same Bubba I know.
584
00:32:41,425 --> 00:32:42,591
Sure is.
585
00:32:42,593 --> 00:32:43,659
Maybe you just
don't recognize him
586
00:32:43,661 --> 00:32:44,893
'cause he has a beard now.
587
00:33:15,359 --> 00:33:18,661
♪ Too mean to die
and too drunk to care
588
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,029
Bubba, you a damn hero.
589
00:33:21,031 --> 00:33:22,965
I ain't seen a man
kick so much ass
590
00:33:22,967 --> 00:33:26,134
since well, that time in
the Vietnamese whorehouse
591
00:33:26,136 --> 00:33:28,738
when my sergeant
kicked a corporal's ass
592
00:33:28,740 --> 00:33:31,073
for not tippin' for a blow job.
593
00:33:31,075 --> 00:33:34,009
Boy howdy, that was
somethin' to see, 'cause
594
00:33:34,011 --> 00:33:36,379
she was quite the
sword swallower.
595
00:33:36,381 --> 00:33:39,582
♪ And I'm far to drunk to care
596
00:33:39,584 --> 00:33:41,083
What?
597
00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:42,684
Can I get
y'all somethin' to drink?
598
00:33:42,686 --> 00:33:44,354
Uh, rum and cokes.
599
00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:47,555
What's Cletus talkin' about?
600
00:33:47,557 --> 00:33:49,424
Well, we were
almost robbed, but
601
00:33:49,426 --> 00:33:51,059
Bubba kicked their asses.
602
00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:54,462
Bubba kicked someone's ass?
603
00:33:54,464 --> 00:33:55,663
No fuckin' way.
604
00:33:55,665 --> 00:33:56,731
Damn right he did.
605
00:33:56,733 --> 00:33:57,767
Both of 'em.
606
00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,301
This Bubba here, he's a regular
607
00:33:59,303 --> 00:34:00,838
Mohammed Van Damme.
608
00:34:02,073 --> 00:34:03,139
Fuck you, Bubba,
609
00:34:03,141 --> 00:34:04,840
still makin' eyes at Bobbie Jo.
610
00:34:04,842 --> 00:34:06,674
It don't matter if you was
the Green fuckin' Lantern,
611
00:34:06,676 --> 00:34:08,010
I stole your woman
and there ain't
612
00:34:08,012 --> 00:34:09,478
a goddamn thing you
can do about it.
613
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,414
I'd watch your mouth,
Dangerous Dwight.
614
00:34:11,416 --> 00:34:14,316
I ain't the same Bubba you
fucked with last night.
615
00:34:14,318 --> 00:34:16,452
You sure that's Bubba?
616
00:34:16,454 --> 00:34:18,420
That's clearly not Bubba.
617
00:34:18,422 --> 00:34:19,921
The hell you talkin' about?
618
00:34:19,923 --> 00:34:21,456
Bubba's got a beard is all.
619
00:34:21,458 --> 00:34:22,858
Bubba gets his
cheap beer for free
620
00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:24,325
for the rest of the night.
621
00:34:24,327 --> 00:34:27,396
Yeah go, Bubba,
go, go, go, go, go,
622
00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:29,231
- go, go.
- Fuckin' Bubba.
623
00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:30,699
I had enough.
624
00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:32,867
Why do you think they
call me Dangerous Dwight?
625
00:34:32,869 --> 00:34:35,604
You don't know how to drive?
626
00:34:35,606 --> 00:34:37,139
Cut it out, Dwight.
627
00:34:37,141 --> 00:34:39,240
If that's Bubba, it ain't
the Bubba you're used to.
628
00:34:39,242 --> 00:34:40,708
The hell do you think you are?
629
00:34:40,710 --> 00:34:43,012
I stole your woman,
I knocked you out,
630
00:34:43,014 --> 00:34:44,246
and that's the way of things.
631
00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:47,215
Oh, shit.
632
00:34:47,217 --> 00:34:48,918
I don't wanna clean
this up again.
633
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,487
Growin' a splotch of facial
hair don't make you a man.
634
00:34:51,489 --> 00:34:54,255
I ain't just a man no more.
635
00:35:06,403 --> 00:35:07,237
Bubba?
636
00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:09,707
Is that really you?
637
00:35:10,807 --> 00:35:12,740
Yeah, it's me.
638
00:35:12,742 --> 00:35:13,842
What happened to you?
639
00:35:13,844 --> 00:35:16,012
You, you, you grew a pair.
640
00:35:20,217 --> 00:35:21,550
I grew more than a pair.
641
00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:23,452
Let's talk outside.
642
00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:40,101
Grew more than a pair?
643
00:35:40,103 --> 00:35:42,939
How many balls you
think he's got?
644
00:35:45,610 --> 00:35:46,842
I can't believe
645
00:35:46,844 --> 00:35:49,110
you sold your soul
to the devil, Bubba.
646
00:35:49,112 --> 00:35:50,445
I told you, Bobbie Jo,
647
00:35:50,447 --> 00:35:53,581
I'd do whatever it
took to get you back.
648
00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:57,087
You sold your soul
to the devil, for me.
649
00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:00,057
Yep, pretty much.
650
00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:04,193
Bubba Blanch, that's
the most romantic thing
651
00:36:04,195 --> 00:36:06,461
I ever did hear of.
652
00:36:06,463 --> 00:36:08,197
You fought off robbers.
653
00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:10,365
You stood up to Dwight
and I never knew
654
00:36:10,367 --> 00:36:12,133
you had it in you, Bubba.
655
00:36:12,135 --> 00:36:14,903
I mean, I'd hoped and all, but
656
00:36:14,905 --> 00:36:19,175
this new you's a whole lot
more than just hairier.
657
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,708
Wait a minute.
658
00:36:20,710 --> 00:36:23,778
You're all big and hairy now, so
659
00:36:23,780 --> 00:36:26,851
what's it like, you
know, down there?
660
00:36:27,818 --> 00:36:29,820
You wanna take a look?
661
00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,394
Holy
662
00:36:39,262 --> 00:36:40,662
We're gettin' married!
663
00:36:44,568 --> 00:36:48,003
Hey, my future wife just
said we're gettin' hitched
664
00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:49,604
in the unforeseen future.
665
00:36:53,911 --> 00:36:56,845
Anyone hollers to congratulate
Bubba and Bobbie Jo,
666
00:36:56,847 --> 00:36:58,713
their next drink is free.
667
00:37:05,655 --> 00:37:06,556
Aw, shit.
668
00:37:07,891 --> 00:37:08,893
All right.
669
00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:12,728
About time you made an
honest man outta him, girl.
670
00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:15,363
Sit down, let me
buy y'all a round.
671
00:37:15,365 --> 00:37:19,068
Oh, I think I'll
stand for tonight.
672
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:20,671
Maybe tomorrow too.
673
00:37:25,175 --> 00:37:27,677
Drink up, you lovebugs, you.
674
00:37:29,512 --> 00:37:32,414
Here's hopin' everyone
in Cracker County
675
00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:35,217
is as happy as we are today.
676
00:37:37,420 --> 00:37:38,686
All right.
677
00:37:38,688 --> 00:37:41,858
People cheerin',
I'll drink to that.
678
00:37:46,864 --> 00:37:50,833
We ain't all happy,
Bubba Beauregard Blanch.
679
00:37:50,835 --> 00:37:54,103
Your misery done unleashed
the devil on our town,
680
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:55,704
and not all of us
who traded our souls
681
00:37:55,706 --> 00:37:59,474
are as content to be freaks
and monsters as you are.
682
00:37:59,476 --> 00:38:00,842
We got a bum rap.
683
00:38:00,844 --> 00:38:03,646
We didn't get no
gift-wrapped girl toy nor no
684
00:38:03,648 --> 00:38:05,414
head full of beautiful hair.
685
00:38:05,416 --> 00:38:06,682
We ain't content to,
686
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:08,883
dammit, that weren't
supposed to happen yet.
687
00:38:13,556 --> 00:38:15,724
Done robbed me of my
dramatic atmosphere.
688
00:38:15,726 --> 00:38:16,559
Why
689
00:38:17,728 --> 00:38:19,927
do you have a third
arm on your head?
690
00:38:19,929 --> 00:38:21,264
It's my curse.
691
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,334
I wanted to
692
00:38:26,170 --> 00:38:27,869
play more slots in the casino.
693
00:38:27,871 --> 00:38:29,405
That makes sense, Bubba.
694
00:38:29,407 --> 00:38:32,941
I just wanted my hubby
back and the damn kids gone.
695
00:38:34,411 --> 00:38:36,110
And I didn't even get a
choice in the fuckin' matter.
696
00:38:40,818 --> 00:38:41,652
What?
697
00:38:46,923 --> 00:38:51,059
I have no clue what
the Batman is sayin'.
698
00:38:51,061 --> 00:38:52,628
What's your problem?
699
00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:54,429
Don't get me started.
700
00:38:59,704 --> 00:39:01,369
Holy shit.
701
00:39:01,371 --> 00:39:03,371
All right, it's obvious
what your problem is.
702
00:39:03,373 --> 00:39:04,972
But I haven't
said anything yet.
703
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:08,876
It's all right, we
can tell, just sit down.
704
00:39:08,878 --> 00:39:11,246
Oh, y'all can see
my acne from there?
705
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,186
This is all your
fault, Bubba Blanch.
706
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,655
That devil done smelled your
pathetic pussy-assed whimperin'
707
00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:20,889
all the way from
hell and rose up
708
00:39:20,891 --> 00:39:22,557
to have a laugh
on the lot of us.
709
00:39:22,559 --> 00:39:23,825
My fault?
710
00:39:23,827 --> 00:39:25,461
Y'all signed your
own damn contracts.
711
00:39:25,463 --> 00:39:26,729
Well the devil tricked us.
712
00:39:26,731 --> 00:39:28,597
He goes by many names.
713
00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:30,768
Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub,
714
00:39:32,369 --> 00:39:35,003
some even call him a lawyer.
715
00:39:36,673 --> 00:39:38,539
Well, it's not so bad.
716
00:39:38,541 --> 00:39:40,775
We're dead and we're damned
and we're stuck in this bar
717
00:39:40,777 --> 00:39:42,077
until we're saved.
718
00:39:42,079 --> 00:39:45,246
Wait, why are you
stuck in the bar?
719
00:39:45,248 --> 00:39:46,548
Well, we sure as hell
ain't leavin' this bar
720
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:47,983
until you save us.
721
00:39:47,985 --> 00:39:49,885
This can't be happening.
722
00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:52,121
This is our bar, and I
723
00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:53,588
fucking hate kids!
724
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:57,525
What the hell do
I do to stop this?
725
00:39:57,527 --> 00:39:58,860
Well, it's obvious, ain't it?
726
00:39:58,862 --> 00:40:00,528
You gotta find and
kill the devil,
727
00:40:00,530 --> 00:40:03,065
get our contracts
back and destroy 'em.
728
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,066
How the hell do I do that?
729
00:40:05,068 --> 00:40:05,900
No idea.
730
00:40:08,773 --> 00:40:10,671
Bubba, sometimes
the answers we seek
731
00:40:10,673 --> 00:40:12,641
are written in the
questions themselves.
732
00:40:12,643 --> 00:40:16,144
It's Biker Bob, master
of the two-stroke engine.
733
00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:19,213
If you want to find the devil,
734
00:40:19,215 --> 00:40:21,048
find the one guy that knows
the son of a bitch best.
735
00:40:21,050 --> 00:40:22,885
Find a guy named Todd Who.
736
00:40:22,887 --> 00:40:24,286
Todd Who, huh?
737
00:40:24,288 --> 00:40:25,753
Find him and you
find the devil.
738
00:40:25,755 --> 00:40:27,655
Find the devil, you
destroy the contracts.
739
00:40:27,657 --> 00:40:30,025
But, what about my contract?
740
00:40:30,027 --> 00:40:31,526
Get to that when
we get to that.
741
00:40:31,528 --> 00:40:35,699
The most important thing
is to save this here bar,
742
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:38,934
and all those damn people, too.
743
00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:42,506
Find Todd Who, the
rest'll fall into place.
744
00:40:46,744 --> 00:40:48,209
Wow.
745
00:40:48,211 --> 00:40:51,546
Never thought I'd see the
master of the two-stroke engine.
746
00:40:51,548 --> 00:40:53,081
It's amazing.
747
00:40:53,083 --> 00:40:54,416
Well you know what's amazin',
748
00:40:54,418 --> 00:40:55,883
not bein' able to
find your balls
749
00:40:55,885 --> 00:40:58,954
in a Vietnamese ping-pong shop.
750
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:00,956
Nobody cares about your balls.
751
00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:03,291
What we care about
is savin' this bar.
752
00:41:05,728 --> 00:41:07,730
It's damn kids I hate.
753
00:41:08,632 --> 00:41:10,599
You have to do this, Bubba.
754
00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:12,800
If you started this,
you can end it.
755
00:41:12,802 --> 00:41:14,769
You'll save the people
and save the bar
756
00:41:14,771 --> 00:41:16,604
and you'll be a hero.
757
00:41:16,606 --> 00:41:18,106
I've gotta do
this for the bar.
758
00:41:18,108 --> 00:41:20,441
I've gotta do this for the
guy with the huge testicles,
759
00:41:20,443 --> 00:41:22,644
the guy that wants
to play the slots.
760
00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:24,146
I'm gonna make that devil pay.
761
00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:25,179
Oh, Bubba.
762
00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,713
Dammit, Bubba, this
bar needs savin'.
763
00:41:57,715 --> 00:41:58,947
Right.
764
00:41:58,949 --> 00:42:00,414
I gotta go find
that Todd character.
765
00:42:00,416 --> 00:42:01,682
Todd Who.
766
00:42:01,684 --> 00:42:02,517
Yep.
767
00:42:45,161 --> 00:42:47,128
Bubba, Bubba get
out here quick!
768
00:42:47,130 --> 00:42:48,729
Clovis, I'm tryin' to
sleep in here, dammit.
769
00:42:48,731 --> 00:42:49,565
Sleepin?
770
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,066
But we got a job to do.
771
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:53,267
Get all your guns and all
your bullets and get out here!
772
00:42:53,269 --> 00:42:54,536
What are you talkin' about?
773
00:42:54,538 --> 00:42:56,037
It's the damn
zombie apocalypse.
774
00:42:56,039 --> 00:42:58,005
Everything we ever dreamed of.
775
00:42:58,007 --> 00:42:59,941
Get all your guns
and all your bullets
776
00:42:59,943 --> 00:43:00,708
and let's go!
777
00:43:00,710 --> 00:43:01,543
Holy shit.
778
00:43:01,545 --> 00:43:02,476
Yeah!
779
00:43:34,177 --> 00:43:36,012
Wow, it's beautiful.
780
00:43:37,213 --> 00:43:39,113
The devil's gone
too far with this one.
781
00:43:39,115 --> 00:43:41,516
He sure the hell has.
782
00:43:41,518 --> 00:43:43,385
Aim carefully boys.
783
00:43:43,387 --> 00:43:45,287
Remember, you gotta shoot
zombies in the head.
784
00:44:02,572 --> 00:44:03,806
I hit a tree.
785
00:44:07,344 --> 00:44:10,447
Damn, I
just shot my foot.
786
00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:21,222
Wow, it's Biker Bob.
787
00:44:21,224 --> 00:44:22,289
Again.
788
00:44:22,291 --> 00:44:23,758
Heard about your zombies.
789
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,793
Ain't got a chance
here in Cracker County.
790
00:44:39,809 --> 00:44:41,543
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
791
00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:45,182
Those aren't zombies.
792
00:44:46,949 --> 00:44:47,883
What are you talkin' about?
793
00:44:47,885 --> 00:44:49,251
Them there's zombies.
794
00:44:49,253 --> 00:44:50,751
Seriously, those are
hippie college kids
795
00:44:50,753 --> 00:44:52,588
lookin' for mushrooms.
796
00:44:54,791 --> 00:44:58,295
Shoot one in the leg
and see what happens.
797
00:45:00,463 --> 00:45:01,329
Ow!
798
00:45:01,331 --> 00:45:02,666
Goddamn, my leg!
799
00:45:03,634 --> 00:45:04,467
Ow!
800
00:45:06,170 --> 00:45:07,336
Told you so.
801
00:45:08,706 --> 00:45:09,871
What'd he say?
802
00:45:09,873 --> 00:45:10,938
Ain't zombies.
803
00:45:10,940 --> 00:45:12,240
College kids.
804
00:45:12,242 --> 00:45:13,510
College kids?
805
00:45:15,945 --> 00:45:17,144
Yeah!
806
00:45:17,146 --> 00:45:19,414
I think this calls
for a tactical retreat.
807
00:45:32,096 --> 00:45:32,927
Crimety.
808
00:45:32,929 --> 00:45:34,628
What a waste of time.
809
00:45:34,630 --> 00:45:36,231
Hi, Bubba.
810
00:45:36,233 --> 00:45:39,200
How's your hero's quest goin'?
811
00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:40,735
Heroic?
812
00:45:40,737 --> 00:45:43,472
Thought you might
need a pick up?
813
00:45:43,474 --> 00:45:46,108
Wanna make me walk funny again?
814
00:45:49,278 --> 00:45:51,713
Did I say somethin' wrong?
815
00:45:51,715 --> 00:45:53,380
No, Bobbie Jo,
816
00:45:53,382 --> 00:45:55,117
it's just I'm gonna
need all my vital juices
817
00:45:55,119 --> 00:45:58,253
if I'm gonna kick the
shit outta that devil.
818
00:45:58,255 --> 00:45:59,820
You sure?
819
00:45:59,822 --> 00:46:01,424
Women weaken legs.
820
00:46:04,393 --> 00:46:06,327
Bobbie Jo, after all
this business is done,
821
00:46:06,329 --> 00:46:09,030
we can have all the hot
hanky-panky you want.
822
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,532
You're a good man, Bubba.
823
00:46:11,534 --> 00:46:14,836
Here's somethin' for the wait.
824
00:46:14,838 --> 00:46:17,671
Dammit, Bobbie
Jo, ahh!
825
00:46:17,673 --> 00:46:19,509
We are not havin' sex.
826
00:46:21,911 --> 00:46:23,144
Dammit, Bobbie Jo,
827
00:46:23,146 --> 00:46:24,912
I gotta find that
Todd Who character.
828
00:46:24,914 --> 00:46:25,746
Who?
829
00:46:25,748 --> 00:46:27,014
Yeah, Who.
830
00:46:27,016 --> 00:46:28,048
Figure I'll start
on the east side,
831
00:46:28,050 --> 00:46:29,851
work my way to the west.
832
00:46:29,853 --> 00:46:30,921
Wish me luck.
833
00:46:33,657 --> 00:46:35,023
This devil better
be easier to find
834
00:46:35,025 --> 00:46:36,624
than lips on a chicken.
835
00:48:13,456 --> 00:48:15,222
Ahh!
836
00:48:15,224 --> 00:48:17,059
Frickin' brain freeze.
837
00:48:21,130 --> 00:48:22,796
So buddy, got any change?
838
00:48:22,798 --> 00:48:24,032
What's that smell?
839
00:48:24,034 --> 00:48:26,101
That's worse than
a 50 cent cigar.
840
00:48:26,103 --> 00:48:27,334
Oh, I'm sorry, it's me.
841
00:48:27,336 --> 00:48:28,903
I've been on the
streets for a while.
842
00:48:28,905 --> 00:48:30,505
Hey, you live around here?
843
00:48:30,507 --> 00:48:31,706
'Cause I'm lookin' for a fella
844
00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:33,474
who can tell me
where the devil is.
845
00:48:33,476 --> 00:48:35,376
You're lookin' for the devil?
846
00:48:35,378 --> 00:48:36,577
No, I'm lookin' for the man
847
00:48:36,579 --> 00:48:38,412
that can tell me
where the devil is.
848
00:48:38,414 --> 00:48:39,914
His name's Todd Who.
849
00:48:39,916 --> 00:48:42,016
Todd Who, huh?
850
00:48:42,018 --> 00:48:44,719
Let me think for just
a second here, uh.
851
00:48:44,721 --> 00:48:46,253
I'll tell you what.
852
00:48:46,255 --> 00:48:47,655
Give me a dollar and I'll
tell you how to find him.
853
00:48:47,657 --> 00:48:48,659
All right.
854
00:48:51,561 --> 00:48:52,663
Where is Who?
855
00:48:53,864 --> 00:48:56,563
No, Where is Who's
cousin, Fred Where.
856
00:48:56,565 --> 00:48:57,798
What?
857
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:58,999
No, no, Jerry
What's his uncle.
858
00:48:59,001 --> 00:49:00,068
Lives on the other side of town.
859
00:49:00,070 --> 00:49:01,202
You're gonna need a car.
860
00:49:01,204 --> 00:49:02,037
What?
861
00:49:02,039 --> 00:49:02,871
Yes, What.
862
00:49:02,873 --> 00:49:03,737
Not what, Who?
863
00:49:03,739 --> 00:49:04,972
Yes, Who.
864
00:49:04,974 --> 00:49:06,374
You're a lot closer
than you think.
865
00:49:06,376 --> 00:49:07,275
To what, Who?
866
00:49:07,277 --> 00:49:08,108
Right.
867
00:49:08,110 --> 00:49:08,943
Who?
868
00:49:08,945 --> 00:49:09,878
Right.
869
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:10,878
Dang it, I'm right about what?
870
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,414
No, no, you're
right about Who.
871
00:49:12,416 --> 00:49:14,581
If you're gonna be a smart
ass, I want my dollar back.
872
00:49:14,583 --> 00:49:16,184
What's your name, anyway?
873
00:49:16,186 --> 00:49:17,017
Who.
874
00:49:17,019 --> 00:49:17,985
You, that's who.
875
00:49:17,987 --> 00:49:18,920
Exactly.
876
00:49:18,922 --> 00:49:19,920
Your name's exactly.
877
00:49:19,922 --> 00:49:21,990
My brother's name's Exactly.
878
00:49:21,992 --> 00:49:23,791
How's your brother got
anything to do with this?
879
00:49:23,793 --> 00:49:25,459
Him and This got
hitched last year,
880
00:49:25,461 --> 00:49:26,594
now she's expecting.
881
00:49:26,596 --> 00:49:27,528
What?
882
00:49:27,530 --> 00:49:28,862
No, no, no, Uncle What's gay.
883
00:49:28,864 --> 00:49:30,932
He wouldn't have nothin'
to do with no woman.
884
00:49:41,510 --> 00:49:45,681
That definitely
was not worth a dollar.
885
00:50:59,989 --> 00:51:01,222
That's right, Broken Taint.
886
00:51:01,224 --> 00:51:04,659
Hell is full, and so
we're franchising,
887
00:51:04,661 --> 00:51:06,961
and you, yes you get
the honor of being
888
00:51:06,963 --> 00:51:09,296
the first earthly branch.
889
00:51:09,298 --> 00:51:10,731
Lucky us.
890
00:51:12,202 --> 00:51:14,436
And how quickly can we
get up to a thousand souls?
891
00:51:14,438 --> 00:51:15,737
Well that's up to you.
892
00:51:20,177 --> 00:51:21,508
And what would you like, sir?
893
00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:23,510
I'd give my soul for a woman.
894
00:51:23,512 --> 00:51:24,646
Congrats.
895
00:51:24,648 --> 00:51:25,479
You're a woman.
896
00:51:26,416 --> 00:51:27,347
And what can I do for you?
897
00:51:27,349 --> 00:51:28,550
Love.
898
00:51:28,552 --> 00:51:30,818
STDs it is!
899
00:51:32,789 --> 00:51:34,354
Your wish is truly my pleasure.
900
00:51:34,356 --> 00:51:37,825
Contracts for
everyone, souls for me.
901
00:51:37,827 --> 00:51:40,394
Get 'em
while they're hot.
902
00:51:40,396 --> 00:51:42,597
This place is
literally hell on earth,
903
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:44,599
and I'm here to stay,
904
00:51:44,601 --> 00:51:46,166
so you better get used to it.
905
00:51:47,003 --> 00:51:47,836
Damn.
906
00:51:47,838 --> 00:51:49,369
Gets worse every minute.
907
00:51:49,371 --> 00:51:51,373
Tell me about it, hmm.
908
00:51:53,242 --> 00:51:56,311
Bubba, I thought you
was off savin' the world.
909
00:51:56,313 --> 00:51:58,246
I'm not very good
at it, apparently.
910
00:51:58,248 --> 00:52:01,014
I can't find the devil,
I can't find Todd Hu,
911
00:52:01,016 --> 00:52:02,150
I can't find nothin'.
912
00:52:02,152 --> 00:52:03,650
You'll find him, Bubba.
913
00:52:03,652 --> 00:52:05,385
I know you can do it.
914
00:52:05,387 --> 00:52:06,954
You darn well better, Bubba.
915
00:52:06,956 --> 00:52:09,190
The last hour alone we've
got two new old people,
916
00:52:09,192 --> 00:52:11,092
a transvestite and
917
00:52:11,094 --> 00:52:12,427
whoever the hell that is.
918
00:52:12,429 --> 00:52:13,262
Hewo!
919
00:52:16,967 --> 00:52:19,501
Hey, what you got there,
Bubba, let me see that.
920
00:52:21,003 --> 00:52:22,637
You get this when you make
your deal with he devil?
921
00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:23,871
Yeah, so?
922
00:52:23,873 --> 00:52:24,838
Incredible.
923
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:25,673
Why, what is it?
924
00:52:25,675 --> 00:52:26,510
No idea.
925
00:52:27,476 --> 00:52:29,244
But I bet I know who would.
926
00:52:29,246 --> 00:52:30,912
I've had to look
for that Hu feller.
927
00:52:30,914 --> 00:52:32,146
No, not him.
928
00:52:32,148 --> 00:52:33,414
You should go see
that old palm reader
929
00:52:33,416 --> 00:52:35,782
down on Slumber Road,
out by the graveyard.
930
00:52:35,784 --> 00:52:38,418
She's the spookiest
clairvoyant in Cracker County.
931
00:52:38,420 --> 00:52:40,054
That's a good idea, Bubba.
932
00:52:40,056 --> 00:52:41,289
This thing's kinda scary.
933
00:52:41,291 --> 00:52:44,159
I don't wanna see
no bumbo, jumbo woman.
934
00:52:44,161 --> 00:52:46,793
But we don't have
no other options.
935
00:52:46,795 --> 00:52:48,262
Why don't you give her a chance?
936
00:52:48,264 --> 00:52:50,597
She lives in this
la di da antique store
937
00:52:50,599 --> 00:52:52,233
down by the edge of town
938
00:52:52,235 --> 00:52:54,971
with her beautiful
granddaughter.
939
00:52:56,273 --> 00:52:57,774
Well, if I must.
940
00:53:00,210 --> 00:53:01,608
But I'm only doin'
it for the bar.
941
00:53:07,016 --> 00:53:09,085
Yeah, I'll go with you.
942
00:53:39,114 --> 00:53:42,650
Who is it that needs
to know the future?
943
00:53:42,652 --> 00:53:45,153
Well, that'd be me, ma'am.
944
00:53:45,155 --> 00:53:47,287
Ah,
I've been expecting you.
945
00:53:47,289 --> 00:53:48,655
You have?
946
00:53:48,657 --> 00:53:51,592
Your coming was
appropriately foreshadowed.
947
00:53:51,594 --> 00:53:52,427
Weird.
948
00:53:52,429 --> 00:53:53,795
Wanna see my palm?
949
00:53:53,797 --> 00:53:56,430
I can't see your
palm, I'm blind.
950
00:53:56,432 --> 00:53:57,932
Oh, you know what I mean.
951
00:53:57,934 --> 00:54:00,068
Terms and medical things get
in the way of my understandin'.
952
00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,436
Then give it to me.
953
00:54:01,438 --> 00:54:02,269
What?
954
00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:03,371
Your palm.
955
00:54:03,373 --> 00:54:04,374
Oh, right.
956
00:54:25,661 --> 00:54:28,528
No, the drool
brings the spirits.
957
00:54:28,530 --> 00:54:30,798
I always thought it
was the other way around.
958
00:54:48,985 --> 00:54:51,054
It won't fuckin' reach!
959
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:57,594
My nuts!
960
00:55:05,635 --> 00:55:06,970
No! Bad Bubba.
961
00:55:12,541 --> 00:55:13,807
This is just,
962
00:55:13,809 --> 00:55:15,809
can you just tell
us what you saw?
963
00:55:15,811 --> 00:55:17,945
I see a demon buying souls
964
00:55:17,947 --> 00:55:20,315
and giving nothing in return.
965
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:23,820
Nothing but pain and
sorrow, and toasters.
966
00:55:25,255 --> 00:55:27,921
He leads souls to
damnation on earth,
967
00:55:27,923 --> 00:55:31,494
and I see you, you
Bubba Beauregard Blanch,
968
00:55:39,268 --> 00:55:44,037
you were the first, but you're
definitely not the last.
969
00:55:44,039 --> 00:55:47,809
Your desperation brought this
demon lawyer to our town,
970
00:55:47,811 --> 00:55:51,878
your all-around pathetic,
pansy-ass, wistful wussiness.
971
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:53,280
All right, all right.
972
00:55:53,282 --> 00:55:54,882
You don't need to
lay it on so thick.
973
00:55:54,884 --> 00:55:57,517
You are the reason
he chose this town.
974
00:55:57,519 --> 00:55:59,920
Long has he sought
a foothold on earth,
975
00:55:59,922 --> 00:56:03,758
and you showed him just
how gullible and stupid
976
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:07,095
and easily manipulated
our townsfolk can be,
977
00:56:07,097 --> 00:56:09,463
how ignorant,
weak-willed, soft...
978
00:56:09,465 --> 00:56:11,566
All right, that's enough.
979
00:56:11,568 --> 00:56:14,068
Did you not receive
the four-slice toaster
980
00:56:14,070 --> 00:56:15,670
of?
981
00:56:15,672 --> 00:56:17,137
Yeah, I got the toaster.
982
00:56:17,139 --> 00:56:19,706
Did you not receive
the smokeless ash tray
983
00:56:19,708 --> 00:56:21,275
from Fjorn Bjorg?
984
00:56:21,277 --> 00:56:23,110
Yeah, I got the
smokeless ash tray.
985
00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:25,912
And did you not receive
the vegetable peeler
986
00:56:25,914 --> 00:56:27,180
of
987
00:56:27,182 --> 00:56:29,249
Wait, I didn't get the peeler.
988
00:56:29,251 --> 00:56:30,818
He took that away
at the last minute.
989
00:56:30,820 --> 00:56:32,286
Wait, what?
990
00:56:32,288 --> 00:56:33,820
You didn't get the
vegetable peeler?
991
00:56:33,822 --> 00:56:35,490
No.
992
00:56:35,492 --> 00:56:39,293
Then all is not lost for
the town of Broken Taint.
993
00:56:39,295 --> 00:56:41,329
In his very first contract,
994
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:45,999
the demon has inadvertently
sanctioned his own undoing.
995
00:56:46,001 --> 00:56:48,202
You are the chosen one.
996
00:56:48,204 --> 00:56:50,371
You are the loophole.
997
00:56:50,373 --> 00:56:52,240
You are the hero of heroes.
998
00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:54,608
Oh, I don't know
about all that.
999
00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:04,684
Doesn't matter what
you know, but know this.
1000
00:57:04,686 --> 00:57:07,588
You must return to
where it all began.
1001
00:57:07,590 --> 00:57:09,523
You must play to your strengths,
1002
00:57:09,525 --> 00:57:12,860
and you must always
remember that every deal,
1003
00:57:12,862 --> 00:57:15,532
every deal has an escape clause.
1004
00:57:16,465 --> 00:57:17,697
Can you say that again?
1005
00:57:17,699 --> 00:57:18,865
I only caught
about half of that.
1006
00:57:18,867 --> 00:57:21,401
Go back to the
fucking bar, you moron.
1007
00:57:21,403 --> 00:57:23,271
He's there right now.
1008
00:57:31,914 --> 00:57:33,815
That's freakin' disgusting.
1009
00:57:33,817 --> 00:57:35,749
Ugh, remind me to
never get my palm read.
1010
00:57:39,556 --> 00:57:41,421
That devil done
fucked up my town,
1011
00:57:41,423 --> 00:57:43,490
and he dare show
his face in my bar?
1012
00:57:43,492 --> 00:57:45,693
That sorry son of a bitch
is gonna regret the day
1013
00:57:45,695 --> 00:57:47,695
he ever shook my hand.
1014
00:57:47,697 --> 00:57:49,396
Oh, I love you, Bubba.
1015
00:57:49,398 --> 00:57:52,566
You sound just like one
of them comic book heroes.
1016
00:57:52,568 --> 00:57:55,536
Through the darkest
night, and evil's might
1017
00:57:55,538 --> 00:57:57,273
a hero will rise, uh,
1018
00:57:58,807 --> 00:58:00,210
to kick some ass!
1019
00:58:18,228 --> 00:58:20,293
So Cletus, you're
kind of a fixture here
1020
00:58:20,295 --> 00:58:22,028
at the old Beelzebub.
1021
00:58:22,030 --> 00:58:24,731
So tell me, what do
you want in life?
1022
00:58:24,733 --> 00:58:27,434
I'd say my left testicle,
1023
00:58:27,436 --> 00:58:29,036
but I'm better off without it.
1024
00:58:29,038 --> 00:58:29,970
What?
1025
00:58:29,972 --> 00:58:31,438
A man wants both his balls.
1026
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:33,508
Makes the testosterone flow.
1027
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,075
Doesn't matter anyway.
1028
00:58:35,077 --> 00:58:36,844
My dick don't get hard no more.
1029
00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:38,278
They got little
blue pills for that.
1030
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:39,947
Oh, I tried that, don't work.
1031
00:58:39,949 --> 00:58:42,148
So you want your mojo back.
1032
00:58:42,150 --> 00:58:45,353
Eh, can't have sex
anyway, doctor's orders.
1033
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:47,420
Yeah, I gots the hip problems.
1034
00:58:47,422 --> 00:58:49,956
So a hip fix, boner city,
1035
00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:52,526
and one brand-spanking
new testicle.
1036
00:58:52,528 --> 00:58:53,661
Can't walk too good.
1037
00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:54,862
Got the bunions.
1038
00:58:54,864 --> 00:58:56,863
Right, bunions be gone,
1039
00:58:56,865 --> 00:59:00,367
hips fixed, erection-town,
and a mountain oyster.
1040
00:59:00,369 --> 00:59:04,237
And with that, I still
got the swollen prostate.
1041
00:59:04,239 --> 00:59:06,742
Okay, a weiner, extra stiff,
1042
00:59:08,077 --> 00:59:10,744
with a re-whipped
hip, hold the bunions,
1043
00:59:10,746 --> 00:59:13,713
and a side of ripened gonad.
1044
00:59:13,715 --> 00:59:16,349
That's a very
generous offer, but
1045
00:59:16,351 --> 00:59:18,519
won't do me no good anyhow.
1046
00:59:18,521 --> 00:59:20,523
I gots the OCD, the ADD,
1047
00:59:21,724 --> 00:59:25,260
the AT&T and Verizon's
my internet provider.
1048
00:59:26,663 --> 00:59:29,264
Okay, that's it, hey, Clovis.
1049
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,133
How you know my name?
1050
00:59:32,135 --> 00:59:33,867
I know everyone's
name, booger boy.
1051
00:59:33,869 --> 00:59:36,003
Quit pickin' your nose
and pointin' at your brain
1052
00:59:36,005 --> 00:59:37,070
and why don't you just tell me
1053
00:59:37,072 --> 00:59:38,606
what you want out of life.
1054
00:59:41,311 --> 00:59:44,547
Well, I could really
use a cold beer.
1055
00:59:46,648 --> 00:59:47,548
Seriously?
1056
00:59:47,550 --> 00:59:48,384
That's it?
1057
00:59:49,652 --> 00:59:50,485
Yep.
1058
00:59:51,487 --> 00:59:52,320
What an ass.
1059
01:00:08,271 --> 01:00:09,704
I wouldn't drink
that if I were you.
1060
01:00:14,242 --> 01:00:16,110
Oh, the prodigal
puppy returns.
1061
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:18,579
I thought you'd be on
your honeymoon by now.
1062
01:00:18,581 --> 01:00:21,382
I had somethin' I had
to take care of first.
1063
01:00:21,384 --> 01:00:22,749
Rip his head off, Bubba.
1064
01:00:24,286 --> 01:00:25,552
Chop him up, Bubba.
1065
01:00:25,554 --> 01:00:27,755
Give him hell, Bubba.
1066
01:00:27,757 --> 01:00:30,257
Is this seriously
some kind of challenge?
1067
01:00:30,259 --> 01:00:31,858
You had your fun, lawyer boy.
1068
01:00:31,860 --> 01:00:33,327
We don't take kindly to cityfolk
1069
01:00:33,329 --> 01:00:35,295
meddlin' with the way
of things around here.
1070
01:00:35,297 --> 01:00:37,999
We don't want no part
of your frachimization.
1071
01:00:38,001 --> 01:00:40,300
You can take your hell
, and shove it.
1072
01:00:41,137 --> 01:00:42,972
You tell him, Bubba.
1073
01:00:44,206 --> 01:00:45,639
Et tu, Bubba?
1074
01:00:45,641 --> 01:00:47,474
After all I've done for you?
1075
01:00:47,476 --> 01:00:48,842
What's your fight in this?
1076
01:00:48,844 --> 01:00:51,845
My town, my rules,
I fight for them.
1077
01:00:54,282 --> 01:00:55,483
Hey, you can't make an omelet
1078
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:56,751
without breakin' a few eggs.
1079
01:00:56,753 --> 01:00:57,784
I fuckin' hate omelets.
1080
01:00:57,786 --> 01:00:59,686
Hey, hold on big guy, hold on.
1081
01:00:59,688 --> 01:01:02,023
If we're gonna do this,
let's do it like men.
1082
01:01:03,192 --> 01:01:05,126
Dueling pistols at 10 paces,
1083
01:01:06,094 --> 01:01:07,461
or how 'bout a sword fight?
1084
01:01:08,463 --> 01:01:09,295
Saws?
1085
01:01:10,599 --> 01:01:11,565
Slingshots?
1086
01:01:12,902 --> 01:01:13,867
Strippers?
1087
01:01:16,204 --> 01:01:19,907
Old school, new school and
fresh from reform school.
1088
01:01:20,777 --> 01:01:22,711
So, what's it gonna be?
1089
01:01:24,112 --> 01:01:26,313
Play
to your strengths, Bubba.
1090
01:01:26,315 --> 01:01:27,615
Remember?
1091
01:01:27,617 --> 01:01:29,050
I said that earlier.
1092
01:01:29,052 --> 01:01:30,184
Right.
1093
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:31,017
I choose
1094
01:01:33,489 --> 01:01:34,722
quarters.
1095
01:01:41,496 --> 01:01:43,363
For all the souls
in Broken Taint,
1096
01:01:43,365 --> 01:01:45,800
if I win, you tear
up all the contracts
1097
01:01:45,802 --> 01:01:48,836
and you never step foot
in Cracker County again.
1098
01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:49,839
Hmm, fine.
1099
01:01:50,773 --> 01:01:52,373
And if I win,
1100
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:53,740
I get to marry
1101
01:01:57,679 --> 01:01:59,112
Cletus.
1102
01:02:02,418 --> 01:02:04,818
I wonder where the devil'd
take you for your honeymoon?
1103
01:02:04,820 --> 01:02:06,586
Probably someplace nice.
1104
01:02:06,588 --> 01:02:07,987
Ow!
1105
01:02:07,989 --> 01:02:10,758
Even though my bridal showers
would probably kick ass,
1106
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,293
I don't know if my
ass could take it.
1107
01:02:13,295 --> 01:02:15,896
I'm trustin' ya, Bubba
Beauregard Blanch.
1108
01:02:15,898 --> 01:02:18,835
I'm trustin' you
with my corn hole.
1109
01:02:20,402 --> 01:02:21,236
Deal.
1110
01:02:22,304 --> 01:02:24,938
May the best monster win.
1111
01:02:27,876 --> 01:02:29,110
House rules.
1112
01:02:29,112 --> 01:02:30,510
No mercy.
1113
01:02:30,512 --> 01:02:33,012
First one off this chair loses.
1114
01:02:33,014 --> 01:02:36,617
Now this is my daddy's
own garage-made moonshine,
1115
01:02:36,619 --> 01:02:39,153
guaranteed at 200 proof
1116
01:02:39,155 --> 01:02:42,456
with some gasoline
sterno and nitroglycerin
1117
01:02:42,458 --> 01:02:45,191
for that little extra
kick.
1118
01:02:45,193 --> 01:02:46,392
Ha.
1119
01:02:46,394 --> 01:02:49,630
I brought my own
patented hellshine,
1120
01:02:49,632 --> 01:02:54,001
666 proof, distilled directly
from the blood, tears
1121
01:02:54,003 --> 01:02:56,903
and yes, the ball
sweat of the damned.
1122
01:02:58,007 --> 01:02:58,972
Oh, man.
1123
01:02:58,974 --> 01:03:00,641
That's what you wanted that for?
1124
01:03:00,643 --> 01:03:02,510
I can make more
if you need it.
1125
01:03:02,512 --> 01:03:03,409
Begin!
1126
01:03:12,288 --> 01:03:13,554
Drink.
1127
01:03:13,556 --> 01:03:14,389
Shit.
1128
01:03:23,065 --> 01:03:23,900
Shit.
1129
01:03:34,543 --> 01:03:37,278
Did y'all eat anything
before he came in here today?
1130
01:03:37,280 --> 01:03:39,579
On the way over, Bubba
ate a liberal Democrat.
1131
01:03:39,581 --> 01:03:42,816
Oh, good.
1132
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,253
Yes, drink asshole.
1133
01:04:58,994 --> 01:05:00,193
But I didn't get it in.
1134
01:05:00,195 --> 01:05:01,762
You was takin' too long.
1135
01:05:01,764 --> 01:05:02,929
Ow!
1136
01:05:02,931 --> 01:05:04,164
All right.
1137
01:05:04,166 --> 01:05:06,802
Time to break out
the good stuff.
1138
01:05:13,809 --> 01:05:16,744
Well, it's not called
spirits for nothin'.
1139
01:05:16,746 --> 01:05:18,244
You can do it, Bubba.
1140
01:05:18,246 --> 01:05:20,981
No pressure but, you're my
man and I'm countin' on you,
1141
01:05:20,983 --> 01:05:23,050
and if he wins, he's
gonna use Drunk Cletus
1142
01:05:23,052 --> 01:05:26,287
like a blow-up doll in a
prison full of sex perverts.
1143
01:05:26,289 --> 01:05:27,588
No pressure.
1144
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:28,688
Don't worry, Bobbie Jo.
1145
01:05:28,690 --> 01:05:29,625
I got this.
1146
01:05:37,532 --> 01:05:40,469
Keep the liquor
flowin', big guy.
1147
01:05:44,572 --> 01:05:46,308
That stuff, oh god.
1148
01:05:51,347 --> 01:05:53,449
That stuff's pretty good.
1149
01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:04,124
You's ain't beatin' me.
1150
01:06:04,126 --> 01:06:06,025
Not even close.
1151
01:06:06,027 --> 01:06:10,063
You think you're all big
and bad and scary and shit,
1152
01:06:10,065 --> 01:06:11,232
but this here,
1153
01:06:12,101 --> 01:06:13,666
this is a drinkin' game.
1154
01:06:13,668 --> 01:06:14,936
Makes us equal.
1155
01:06:15,905 --> 01:06:16,806
Pals, even.
1156
01:06:17,940 --> 01:06:20,842
Big ole, buddy ole,
pal-y, pal, pal.
1157
01:06:24,547 --> 01:06:26,646
I'm startin' to like you.
1158
01:06:32,355 --> 01:06:33,287
That doesn't count.
1159
01:06:33,289 --> 01:06:34,354
I didn't fall out of my chair.
1160
01:06:34,356 --> 01:06:35,588
He pushed me.
1161
01:06:35,590 --> 01:06:38,825
That was a straight up
fist bump, 100% legal.
1162
01:06:38,827 --> 01:06:41,961
You're out of the chair,
you're out of the game.
1163
01:06:41,963 --> 01:06:42,965
Did I win?
1164
01:06:44,032 --> 01:06:46,300
Yes, you did, Wolfie.
1165
01:06:46,302 --> 01:06:47,333
Whew.
1166
01:06:47,335 --> 01:06:49,769
My corn hole is safe.
1167
01:06:49,771 --> 01:06:51,773
Yes, but at what cost?
1168
01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,517
Aw, shit.
1169
01:07:04,519 --> 01:07:06,119
You fucking imbeciles,
1170
01:07:06,121 --> 01:07:07,920
you can't beat me
on a technicality.
1171
01:07:07,922 --> 01:07:09,456
But you made Bubba a deal.
1172
01:07:09,458 --> 01:07:12,025
Then show me the
fucking contract.
1173
01:07:12,027 --> 01:07:13,927
For the love a,
1174
01:07:13,929 --> 01:07:16,396
I have seriously,
seriously had it
1175
01:07:16,398 --> 01:07:18,398
with all your rules
and regulations.
1176
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:20,300
If I can't fight you like a man,
1177
01:07:20,302 --> 01:07:22,635
then I'll fight you like a wolf.
1178
01:07:29,344 --> 01:07:30,543
My turn.
1179
01:07:35,418 --> 01:07:38,885
Bubba, Bubba, Bubba.
1180
01:07:38,887 --> 01:07:41,121
Don't you remember, I made you,
1181
01:07:41,123 --> 01:07:44,057
and I can destroy
you just as easily.
1182
01:07:44,059 --> 01:07:44,891
Wait.
1183
01:07:44,893 --> 01:07:45,727
What?
1184
01:07:46,762 --> 01:07:48,561
My soul for his life.
1185
01:07:49,731 --> 01:07:52,067
Well, that's more like it.
1186
01:07:53,235 --> 01:07:55,168
Bobbie Jo, no.
1187
01:07:55,170 --> 01:07:56,970
You did it for me, Bubba.
1188
01:07:56,972 --> 01:07:58,438
Let me do it for you.
1189
01:08:10,186 --> 01:08:12,086
You can learn a
lot from this one.
1190
01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:14,287
There's a new way of
things in Cracker County,
1191
01:08:14,289 --> 01:08:16,656
and y'all best get in line.
1192
01:08:16,658 --> 01:08:18,424
Remember,
1193
01:08:18,426 --> 01:08:21,527
every deal has an escape clause.
1194
01:08:21,529 --> 01:08:23,563
Were you even fucking
listening before?
1195
01:08:23,565 --> 01:08:24,531
Wait.
1196
01:08:24,533 --> 01:08:26,666
The escape clause.
1197
01:08:26,668 --> 01:08:27,835
What was that?
1198
01:08:27,837 --> 01:08:29,169
The escape clause.
1199
01:08:29,171 --> 01:08:30,704
Every deal's got one.
1200
01:08:30,706 --> 01:08:32,071
Every deal.
1201
01:08:32,073 --> 01:08:34,174
And I should tell you because?
1202
01:08:34,176 --> 01:08:37,277
Aren't you
lawyer types always obligated
1203
01:08:37,279 --> 01:08:40,313
to explain all the loopholes
and shit whenever asked?
1204
01:08:40,315 --> 01:08:41,482
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1205
01:08:41,484 --> 01:08:43,317
And no extra fees.
1206
01:08:43,319 --> 01:08:46,385
Yes, okay, what the fuck?
1207
01:08:46,387 --> 01:08:48,054
It makes very little
difference anyway,
1208
01:08:48,056 --> 01:08:50,124
'cause there's only one
way to get your contracts
1209
01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,858
and send me back to hell.
1210
01:08:51,860 --> 01:08:53,460
You've got to guess my name.
1211
01:08:53,462 --> 01:08:54,563
My real name.
1212
01:08:56,097 --> 01:08:57,964
Is your name John?
1213
01:08:57,966 --> 01:08:59,031
No.
1214
01:08:59,033 --> 01:08:59,866
Is it Mark?
1215
01:08:59,868 --> 01:09:00,666
No.
1216
01:09:00,668 --> 01:09:02,468
How 'bout Susan?
1217
01:09:02,470 --> 01:09:03,669
Susan?
1218
01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:05,772
Susan's a girl's name.
1219
01:09:05,774 --> 01:09:07,107
Mitch?
1220
01:09:07,109 --> 01:09:09,910
Who the hell would
name their kid Mitch?
1221
01:09:09,912 --> 01:09:11,978
Look, people, you're
never gonna get it,
1222
01:09:11,980 --> 01:09:14,113
so you might as
well give up trying.
1223
01:09:14,115 --> 01:09:15,081
I know.
1224
01:09:18,420 --> 01:09:20,155
It's Rumpelstiltskin.
1225
01:09:20,989 --> 01:09:22,321
Seriously?
1226
01:09:25,994 --> 01:09:27,193
I know you, man.
1227
01:09:27,195 --> 01:09:29,963
That's three
times in one week.
1228
01:09:29,965 --> 01:09:31,932
You're Bladdarick
Junior Adolfo Italicus
1229
01:09:31,934 --> 01:09:35,501
Joanna Rasputenstein
the Third, Junior.
1230
01:09:35,503 --> 01:09:36,503
What?
1231
01:09:36,505 --> 01:09:37,571
No.
1232
01:09:37,573 --> 01:09:39,205
No!
1233
01:09:39,207 --> 01:09:41,074
No one in a million
years has ever,
1234
01:09:41,076 --> 01:09:41,911
No, no!
1235
01:09:43,412 --> 01:09:45,044
I'll get you for this, Bubba.
1236
01:09:45,046 --> 01:09:46,580
I'll see you rot in hell.
1237
01:09:46,582 --> 01:09:47,915
Ahh!
1238
01:09:47,917 --> 01:09:48,751
Shit.
1239
01:09:58,460 --> 01:10:00,494
Way to drink, my hairy friend.
1240
01:10:00,496 --> 01:10:03,164
I knew you could do it, Bubba.
1241
01:10:32,828 --> 01:10:34,663
Here you go, losers.
1242
01:10:48,676 --> 01:10:51,044
Well, I'm off to go uh,
1243
01:10:51,046 --> 01:10:52,778
Play slots.
1244
01:10:52,780 --> 01:10:53,881
Yeah, that.
1245
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:58,718
I have my family back.
1246
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:00,553
We learned so much.
1247
01:11:00,555 --> 01:11:02,924
I am so fucking outta here.
1248
01:11:06,295 --> 01:11:07,527
Biker Bob.
1249
01:11:07,529 --> 01:11:09,495
How did you know the
devil's real name?
1250
01:11:09,497 --> 01:11:12,633
The master of the two-stroke
engine knows many things,
1251
01:11:12,635 --> 01:11:14,637
and that was one of 'em.
1252
01:11:16,572 --> 01:11:18,073
Free drinks for,
1253
01:11:23,345 --> 01:11:25,711
free Cornstock
Light for everyone.
1254
01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:28,851
I'm cured!
1255
01:11:36,958 --> 01:11:40,927
You sure were a sight
to see back there, Bubba.
1256
01:11:40,929 --> 01:11:44,031
I pretty much just got
drunk and knocked out.
1257
01:11:44,033 --> 01:11:46,732
Yeah, but you stood up to him.
1258
01:11:46,734 --> 01:11:49,303
You stood up for
yourself, for me,
1259
01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:50,836
for all of us.
1260
01:11:50,838 --> 01:11:53,807
And you sold your
soul to the devil
1261
01:11:53,809 --> 01:11:55,041
for me.
1262
01:11:55,043 --> 01:11:56,977
Makes you feel good, don't it?
1263
01:11:56,979 --> 01:11:57,980
Sure does.
1264
01:11:59,381 --> 01:12:03,118
Now could you, you
know, do it for me again?
1265
01:12:04,286 --> 01:12:05,117
Please?
1266
01:12:05,119 --> 01:12:06,419
Just one more time.
1267
01:12:06,421 --> 01:12:09,222
Bobbie Jo, I'm plenty tired.
1268
01:12:09,224 --> 01:12:10,490
Please?
1269
01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:12,793
Pretty please with
a cherry on top?
1270
01:12:12,795 --> 01:12:15,928
I'll do that thing that
made your leg shake again.
1271
01:12:15,930 --> 01:12:17,265
Ah, all right.
1272
01:12:43,324 --> 01:12:46,893
Another sensation.
1273
01:12:46,895 --> 01:12:48,961
Another darkness.
1274
01:12:48,963 --> 01:12:50,363
What is it this time, Mama?
1275
01:12:50,365 --> 01:12:51,699
Yes, no, wait.
1276
01:12:53,935 --> 01:12:55,036
No, yes, yes.
1277
01:13:00,309 --> 01:13:02,177
No, just gas this time.
1278
01:13:06,450 --> 01:13:11,450
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1279
01:13:12,121 --> 01:13:14,321
♪ Well I met a man
down in Cracker County
1280
01:13:14,323 --> 01:13:16,656
♪ Who chased his dogs away
1281
01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,657
♪ Who's had to go
fuckin' nuts on Friday
1282
01:13:18,659 --> 01:13:20,861
♪ And Bubba is his name
1283
01:13:20,863 --> 01:13:23,062
♪ Well they say he's
lazy and good for nothin'
1284
01:13:23,064 --> 01:13:24,865
♪ And he'll prove
every word you say
1285
01:13:24,867 --> 01:13:27,500
♪ But you mess with him,
his beer or his friends
1286
01:13:27,502 --> 01:13:29,702
♪ There'll be hell to pay
1287
01:13:29,704 --> 01:13:34,040
♪ That is Bubba,
redneck werewolf
1288
01:13:34,042 --> 01:13:38,213
♪ Yes, it's Bubba,
redneck werewolf
1289
01:13:44,286 --> 01:13:46,519
♪ Well all he owns
is his trailer
1290
01:13:46,521 --> 01:13:48,554
♪ And his hat and a pickup truck
1291
01:13:48,556 --> 01:13:50,723
♪ That day he turned into a wolf
1292
01:13:50,725 --> 01:13:52,759
♪ Was a big change to his luck
1293
01:13:52,761 --> 01:13:54,960
♪ He might not be much smarter
1294
01:13:54,962 --> 01:13:56,996
♪ But you best
stay out of his way
1295
01:13:56,998 --> 01:13:59,433
♪ So if you mess with him,
his beer or his friends
1296
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,835
♪ There'll be hell to pay
1297
01:14:01,837 --> 01:14:06,005
♪ That is Bubba,
redneck werewolf
1298
01:14:06,007 --> 01:14:10,179
♪ Yes it's Bubba,
redneck werewolf
1299
01:14:28,896 --> 01:14:31,097
♪ Well that's the tale of Bubba
1300
01:14:31,099 --> 01:14:33,266
♪ A man unto his own
1301
01:14:33,268 --> 01:14:35,134
♪ If you're feelin'
mighty froggy
1302
01:14:35,136 --> 01:14:37,571
♪ Then I want to make it known
1303
01:14:37,573 --> 01:14:39,873
♪ If you're thinkin'
'bout headin' down
1304
01:14:39,875 --> 01:14:41,775
♪ Round about Bubba's way
1305
01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:43,943
♪ Don't mess with him,
his beer or his friends
1306
01:14:43,945 --> 01:14:46,679
♪ 'Cause there'll be hell to pay
1307
01:14:46,681 --> 01:14:50,916
♪ That is Bubba,
the redneck werewolf
1308
01:14:50,918 --> 01:14:55,187
♪ Yes, it's Bubba,
redneck werewolf
1309
01:14:55,189 --> 01:14:59,425
♪ Hey, it's Bubba,
redneck werewolf
1310
01:14:59,427 --> 01:15:03,532
♪ Hey, it's Bubba,
redneck werewolf
89467
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