Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:20,986
??
2
00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:25,668
Biggest change in this country
in the 10 years that I was gone?
3
00:00:25,752 --> 00:00:29,820
America went from being a boob
nation to being an ass nation.
4
00:00:29,882 --> 00:00:31,349
I mean, 30 years ago,
5
00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:34,576
if a company ran an ad campaign
on 3 TV networks
6
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:37,100
and 10 magazines, everybody saw it.
7
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:41,552
And what they saw mostly was
boobs... boobs, boobs, boobs.
8
00:00:41,585 --> 00:00:44,585
I mean, eventually,
we just forgot all about butts.
9
00:00:44,738 --> 00:00:45,798
[GROANS]
10
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:49,863
We were just so relentlessly
hammered with images of boobs.
11
00:00:49,993 --> 00:00:53,891
And by the '80s, Charles,
big old fake boobs...
12
00:00:54,003 --> 00:00:57,271
Just these enormous sacks
of viscous chemicals
13
00:00:57,334 --> 00:01:01,026
that were bolted onto
the front of a woman's chest
14
00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:03,490
in defiance of all
good taste and gravity.
15
00:01:03,526 --> 00:01:05,193
Which gift basket does she get?
16
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:06,767
Chantal? Oh, the "Jeter."
17
00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,126
Oh, my God. She earned it.
18
00:01:08,212 --> 00:01:11,645
You know, iPads don't grow on trees.
19
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,168
Maybe you should consider
not giving the Jeter
20
00:01:14,218 --> 00:01:15,667
to every woman you bring home?
21
00:01:15,764 --> 00:01:19,093
No, Charles, I'm afraid I can't,
because I'm sexually generous
22
00:01:19,155 --> 00:01:21,103
in all the ways that
one could possibly be.
23
00:01:21,157 --> 00:01:23,825
Besides, those "Piazza" baskets
that you designed,
24
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,961
Charles, they're confusing,
and they're unpopular.
25
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,565
There's an element of sadness to them.
26
00:01:27,590 --> 00:01:30,298
Anywhoodles, I'm at the Big
Freedia bounce show last night,
27
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:32,768
and I'm just...
I'm getting lost in the applause
28
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,953
of like a hundred clapping asses.
29
00:01:34,978 --> 00:01:36,911
And it hits me, it dawns on me...
30
00:01:36,936 --> 00:01:38,870
I am surrounded by the very people
31
00:01:38,909 --> 00:01:41,222
that got America back into ass.
32
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,249
I'm talking about straight black men,
33
00:01:43,274 --> 00:01:46,608
the gays, of course, and thick women.
God bless 'em.
34
00:01:46,633 --> 00:01:49,564
'Cause, see, when the Internet
expanded all media
35
00:01:49,589 --> 00:01:52,830
into the limitless chaos
that we know it to be today,
36
00:01:52,887 --> 00:01:55,443
the power of
the straight-white-male gaze
37
00:01:55,468 --> 00:01:57,279
got diluted, and all of a sudden,
38
00:01:57,304 --> 00:02:00,733
all these long-forgotten voices
could finally be heard, man,
39
00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:05,134
and they were screaming, "Butts!
Come on! Butts are wonderful!"
40
00:02:05,207 --> 00:02:07,302
And that, my friend,
is how the titty wool
41
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,068
that had been pulled
over our collective eyes
42
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,353
was finally lifted.
43
00:02:12,509 --> 00:02:13,827
She's waking up.
44
00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:15,374
Oh. I'll go hide in the bathroom.
45
00:02:15,430 --> 00:02:16,682
They always go to the bathroom.
46
00:02:16,732 --> 00:02:20,000
I'll hide in the pantry. Calm down.
47
00:02:20,083 --> 00:02:22,560
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
48
00:02:22,699 --> 00:02:25,633
??
49
00:02:25,822 --> 00:02:28,423
I got the Jeter last time.
50
00:02:28,884 --> 00:02:30,021
What about that one?
51
00:02:30,074 --> 00:02:34,239
That one is reserved for someone
else, if she ever comes here.
52
00:02:34,290 --> 00:02:35,623
Which she won't.
53
00:02:35,699 --> 00:02:38,003
But I can get you two Piazzas instead.
54
00:02:38,762 --> 00:02:40,894
But those are in the pantry!
55
00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:42,052
Shit.
56
00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:43,325
[RUSTLING]
57
00:02:43,385 --> 00:02:45,652
Ta-da! Ha ha!
58
00:02:45,694 --> 00:02:48,629
There is one Piazza
for you right there.
59
00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:51,327
A Squatty Potty and olive oil?
60
00:02:51,507 --> 00:02:53,841
He's an Italian catcher.
61
00:02:53,897 --> 00:02:55,144
It's so obvious.
62
00:02:55,191 --> 00:02:57,391
And your second Piazza.
63
00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:59,658
There you go. Got it?
64
00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:01,643
Great to see you again.
65
00:03:01,858 --> 00:03:03,858
You take care, now.
66
00:03:13,762 --> 00:03:15,563
- In conclusion...
- You're still not done.
67
00:03:15,602 --> 00:03:17,172
...this country is only getting dumber
68
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,797
and hotter and more crowded,
69
00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:20,755
but when I see butts of all shapes
70
00:03:20,811 --> 00:03:22,957
and sizes and colors
not only represented,
71
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:26,074
but celebrated, well,
it gives me hope...
72
00:03:26,235 --> 00:03:28,903
Hope that things can still
change for the better.
73
00:03:29,019 --> 00:03:33,546
??
74
00:03:34,626 --> 00:03:36,858
- Strike!
- Santos looks at a fastball.
75
00:03:36,953 --> 00:03:39,119
Count evens, 2-2.
76
00:03:40,364 --> 00:03:42,363
'Course, Santos is only playing today
77
00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:44,957
because Fitzgerald
finally got his call-up
78
00:03:44,982 --> 00:03:47,470
to the major leagues,
so congratulations to Fitz.
79
00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:48,752
- Get me another beer.
- No.
80
00:03:48,777 --> 00:03:49,780
- Come on.
- No.
81
00:03:49,805 --> 00:03:50,793
- Please.
- Focus.
82
00:03:50,818 --> 00:03:52,351
God damn it. [SWITCH CLICKS]
83
00:03:52,509 --> 00:03:54,755
Santos pops a curveball
up and out of play.
84
00:03:54,804 --> 00:03:56,656
You know, folks, I think I understand
85
00:03:56,681 --> 00:03:58,033
just how Fitzgerald felt.
86
00:03:58,058 --> 00:03:59,914
I mean, he was a star
here in New Orleans
87
00:03:59,957 --> 00:04:02,992
right from the get-go,
yet he had to wait and wait
88
00:04:03,017 --> 00:04:05,283
and wait for that call-up
to the major leagues,
89
00:04:05,321 --> 00:04:07,542
to the point where he probably
started to question
90
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,991
the decision-making
of the Atlanta organization.
91
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,698
As Santos bounces one to the left side,
92
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:12,947
this should probably do it.
93
00:04:12,972 --> 00:04:15,240
And the New Orleans Crawdaddys
are gonna drop this one
94
00:04:15,265 --> 00:04:17,304
- to Nashville by a count of 7-2.
- Suck!
95
00:04:17,329 --> 00:04:18,805
I have been Jim Brockmire.
96
00:04:18,845 --> 00:04:21,331
Please stay tuned
for the postgame wrap-up.
97
00:04:21,404 --> 00:04:22,658
Let me ask you a question.
98
00:04:22,706 --> 00:04:25,250
Was it clear just now, when I
was talking about Fitzgerald,
99
00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:27,989
that I was actually referring
to my own career situation?
100
00:04:28,014 --> 00:04:29,356
Oh, that was intentional?
101
00:04:29,381 --> 00:04:33,448
I can never tell if you're
calculating or just spiraling.
102
00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:34,843
I mean, what's the holdup?
103
00:04:34,885 --> 00:04:36,431
Seriously? What do I have to do?
104
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:38,691
I mean, I've played by all
their stupid rules, have I not?
105
00:04:38,716 --> 00:04:40,117
Art Newly is hard to replace.
106
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,556
He's like a more likable
Vin Scully, and you're...
107
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:44,599
- [BELCHES]
- ...not that.
108
00:04:44,624 --> 00:04:46,256
They can't do anything
with you publicly.
109
00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:47,807
It's gonna look like
they're pushing him out.
110
00:04:47,831 --> 00:04:49,398
Well, they won't have to push too hard.
111
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,907
The man is 75 years old.
112
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:54,302
A stiff breeze and an uneven
sidewalk, and down he will go.
113
00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:55,479
Want to hear some good news?
114
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,805
As of today, we have the
number 3 podcast in America.
115
00:04:58,888 --> 00:05:01,133
No shit? Oh!
116
00:05:01,177 --> 00:05:04,913
Remind me to ask that
Marc Maron how my ass tastes.
117
00:05:05,121 --> 00:05:06,614
[CROWD CHANTING "BROCK!"] Charles:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
118
00:05:06,638 --> 00:05:08,801
to another live episode
of "Brock Bottom,"
119
00:05:08,826 --> 00:05:10,872
brought to you by Old Spice Deodorant.
120
00:05:10,908 --> 00:05:12,507
Like Jim Brockmire, Old Spice
121
00:05:12,532 --> 00:05:14,616
is an original that still feels fresh.
122
00:05:14,641 --> 00:05:16,174
Now, without further ado,
123
00:05:16,278 --> 00:05:19,346
I'd like to present to you
the one-man MOTH
124
00:05:19,415 --> 00:05:22,120
and the best freestyle storyteller
125
00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:24,945
in the podcast game...
126
00:05:25,473 --> 00:05:26,633
Jim Brockmire.
127
00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:29,287
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
128
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:36,071
??
129
00:05:36,213 --> 00:05:37,880
Hey! All right!
130
00:05:37,954 --> 00:05:39,572
- I thank you.
- Whoo!
131
00:05:39,597 --> 00:05:41,989
Let's get right to it, shall we?
132
00:05:42,018 --> 00:05:46,193
I need a suggestion for a
90-minute improvised monologue.
133
00:05:46,349 --> 00:05:48,349
- Baseball!
- Pinstripes!
134
00:05:48,411 --> 00:05:50,045
- Wyoming!
- You said Wyoming.
135
00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:51,435
I heard Wichita.
136
00:05:51,460 --> 00:05:52,766
[LAUGHTER]
137
00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:54,623
Method to my madness on that one
138
00:05:54,648 --> 00:05:57,685
because the only person
that I ever knew from Wichita
139
00:05:57,747 --> 00:06:00,455
was none other than
television and film's.
140
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,846
- Kirstie Alley.
- Yeah.
141
00:06:01,871 --> 00:06:03,219
- Yeah. Ooh!
- Oww!
142
00:06:03,244 --> 00:06:04,511
Now, this is a story
143
00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:06,313
about the first time
144
00:06:06,376 --> 00:06:08,727
that she tried to
convert me to Scientology.
145
00:06:08,805 --> 00:06:10,329
MAN: Yeah!
146
00:06:11,307 --> 00:06:13,812
[SLURRING] So, now, at this point...
147
00:06:15,177 --> 00:06:17,747
all the "Veronica's Closet"
writers, they g...
148
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,030
They went home, okay?
149
00:06:19,055 --> 00:06:21,630
It's just me and Kirstie
alone in a dressing room,
150
00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:23,850
so I'm... I'm pretty psyched.
151
00:06:23,994 --> 00:06:28,464
Anyway, the room's really dark,
but I can just make out...
152
00:06:28,557 --> 00:06:31,693
I could just see this... this tear,
153
00:06:31,816 --> 00:06:34,587
one single tear
kind of gently making her...
154
00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:37,448
Its way down her face.
155
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,745
So I got down.
156
00:06:39,823 --> 00:06:42,157
[GROANING] Okay.
157
00:06:42,272 --> 00:06:46,718
I said, "Kirstie, why are you crying?"
158
00:06:46,829 --> 00:06:47,895
[LAUGHTER]
159
00:06:47,977 --> 00:06:50,177
And she pulled me close,
160
00:06:50,353 --> 00:06:53,636
and she whispered one word
into my ear, folks.
161
00:06:53,756 --> 00:06:55,616
She said...
162
00:06:56,305 --> 00:06:57,805
"Wichita!"
163
00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:59,308
[LAUGHTER]
164
00:06:59,389 --> 00:07:00,617
"Wichita!"
165
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,858
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
166
00:07:07,656 --> 00:07:08,923
Appreciate it. Next up.
167
00:07:08,959 --> 00:07:10,358
Come on up. Step right up.
168
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,415
This is a small-batch rye,
aged 18 years.
169
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:13,506
Ooh!
170
00:07:13,531 --> 00:07:15,322
Yeah, m-my dad was an alcoholic.
171
00:07:15,404 --> 00:07:17,471
Instead of telling fun stories,
he'd get angry
172
00:07:17,526 --> 00:07:20,194
and make us all fight
for the last uncooked hot dog.
173
00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:22,561
Okay, we're gonna let that sad story
174
00:07:22,586 --> 00:07:24,243
just die right there on the vine,
175
00:07:24,268 --> 00:07:26,074
and we're gonna take
a lovely photo together, okay?
176
00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:27,755
Right there. [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
177
00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:29,523
All right.
Thank you so much for coming.
178
00:07:29,596 --> 00:07:30,932
Appreciate it. Step right up.
179
00:07:30,957 --> 00:07:33,578
What do you got there?
Are these magic mush...
180
00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:36,137
Oh, the... Oh! These are all caps, too.
181
00:07:36,297 --> 00:07:37,363
Oh, my goodness.
182
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:40,066
Well, if history has
taught us anything,
183
00:07:40,123 --> 00:07:42,590
it's that this evening
is almost certain to end
184
00:07:42,615 --> 00:07:44,415
with me stealing a boat.
185
00:07:44,451 --> 00:07:45,464
Is that something?
186
00:07:45,489 --> 00:07:47,342
- I don't even know why.
- Hey, uh, Jim. Could I...
187
00:07:47,774 --> 00:07:48,987
Y... One... Pardon me a moment.
188
00:07:49,034 --> 00:07:50,251
Yes, my friend?
189
00:07:50,276 --> 00:07:53,010
Art Newly just announced
that he's officially retiring
190
00:07:53,035 --> 00:07:54,034
at the end of the season,
191
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,703
and the new head of PR from Atlanta
192
00:07:56,728 --> 00:07:58,036
is coming down tomorrow for a meeting.
193
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,585
Now, I don't want you to read
too much into this.
194
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,683
- Holy shit! I did it! I did it!
- We still don't know.
195
00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,525
No, I made it back to the top
of the mountain, Charles.
196
00:08:04,581 --> 00:08:05,582
Oh, my God!
197
00:08:05,607 --> 00:08:07,040
I could not have done it without you.
198
00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:09,665
I love you! Mwah! I love you, Charles.
199
00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:11,763
I can't believe you won't
say it back to me.
200
00:08:11,788 --> 00:08:13,104
I am not gonna say it,
201
00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:14,862
and I can't believe
you're saying it to me.
202
00:08:14,905 --> 00:08:16,311
That's just gonna make it
all the sweeter
203
00:08:16,336 --> 00:08:17,819
when I finally wear you down.
204
00:08:17,844 --> 00:08:20,218
But tonight is about celebratin', baby!
205
00:08:20,243 --> 00:08:21,700
Not too hard.
206
00:08:21,773 --> 00:08:23,111
You s... You have the meeting tomorrow.
207
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,616
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right. Hey, everybody.
208
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,507
Everybody, I want you
to show me your cocaine.
209
00:08:26,532 --> 00:08:29,232
Who's carrying cocaine?
Hold it on up there.
210
00:08:29,285 --> 00:08:30,411
- I got some.
- Okay.
211
00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:31,423
- Let's see.
- Me, me, me, me!
212
00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:32,510
- Right here.
- All right.
213
00:08:32,535 --> 00:08:34,783
That appears to be only an eight ball.
214
00:08:34,808 --> 00:08:36,207
So I'm gonna go with you two
215
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:38,466
'cause I got a busy day tomorrow!
216
00:08:40,636 --> 00:08:41,716
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
217
00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:42,887
You could say what you will,
218
00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:44,913
but I am just so happy for you, bro.
219
00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:46,244
Oh, well, thank you, Raj.
220
00:08:46,269 --> 00:08:47,910
Could not have done it
without you calling
221
00:08:47,935 --> 00:08:50,116
all those road games.
No, you've been a lifesaver.
222
00:08:50,172 --> 00:08:51,905
Come on. Look, thank you.
223
00:08:51,941 --> 00:08:54,451
I just enjoyed joining your
brotherhood of the booth.
224
00:08:54,476 --> 00:08:55,513
And I must say,
225
00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:57,925
you're much less racist
than I thought you'd be.
226
00:08:58,041 --> 00:08:59,283
Well, my goodness.
227
00:08:59,308 --> 00:09:01,168
I wish I could take
more credit for that,
228
00:09:01,193 --> 00:09:03,781
but, uh, the bar set by old white men
229
00:09:03,806 --> 00:09:06,136
in this great country of ours
is just, oh, so very low.
230
00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:08,029
Yep. As soon as you raise it up
a little bit,
231
00:09:08,054 --> 00:09:10,121
someone knocks it back down, huh?
232
00:09:10,531 --> 00:09:12,237
- Man, you keep screwing up.
- We do.
233
00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:14,662
Listen, let's commemorate
this hand-off on the 'gram.
234
00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:16,476
- Get in here.
- Ah, the ubiquitous 'gram.
235
00:09:16,572 --> 00:09:17,988
- Mm-hmm.
- All right. Hey, whoa, whoa!
236
00:09:18,013 --> 00:09:19,412
What are you doing here, asshole?
237
00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:20,506
- Whoa, whoa! Jim!
- What's that?
238
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:22,713
Hey, look, I invited him, okay? Look...
239
00:09:22,799 --> 00:09:25,399
- You invited him?
- Yes. You're both my brohams,
240
00:09:25,447 --> 00:09:27,471
so I was hoping we could end this feud
241
00:09:27,496 --> 00:09:29,484
because you actually have
a lot in common, okay?
242
00:09:29,509 --> 00:09:31,571
You're both really stubborn superstars.
243
00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:33,392
- I mean, you...
- Whoa, whoa. Superstar?
244
00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:34,439
Are you kidding me?
245
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:36,967
Hey, I've known all the titans
of mascotry, okay?
246
00:09:36,992 --> 00:09:39,459
The Phillie Phanatic,
he officiated my wedding.
247
00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:40,785
You are not a superstar.
248
00:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,777
You are a mime in Muppet's clothing.
249
00:09:42,812 --> 00:09:43,840
What... What's that?
250
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:45,513
What is that?
I don't even understand that.
251
00:09:45,538 --> 00:09:46,838
I think he's flipping you off.
252
00:09:46,863 --> 00:09:49,558
You fuck your mother with
that claw, you stupid idiot?
253
00:09:49,591 --> 00:09:51,445
- Come on!
- Jim Brockmire?
254
00:09:51,494 --> 00:09:52,793
- Yeah.
- I'm Whitney Masterson.
255
00:09:52,818 --> 00:09:54,640
I'm the new head of PR for Atlanta.
256
00:09:54,749 --> 00:09:57,176
- Is... Is there a problem?
- No, no.
257
00:09:57,218 --> 00:09:59,680
I mean, I don't pretend to be
a crustacean for a living,
258
00:09:59,705 --> 00:10:01,720
so I'm very good, thank you.
259
00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:03,944
Raj, can you join us, as well, please?
260
00:10:04,913 --> 00:10:06,731
Yeah. Come on. More the merrier.
261
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:09,424
Plan the old line of succession here.
262
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,709
Hey, medium mascot talent! At best!
263
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:14,956
Dummy!
264
00:10:15,010 --> 00:10:17,478
First of all, Jim, the organization
265
00:10:17,503 --> 00:10:18,928
wishes to thank you for doing
266
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:21,136
all that it asked of you
over the last year.
267
00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:22,994
Well, please thank the organization
268
00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:25,241
for doing everything I asked of them.
[CHUCKLES]
269
00:10:25,346 --> 00:10:27,947
It was a little unusual,
only calling home games,
270
00:10:27,972 --> 00:10:31,161
and it was a bit of
a strange contract rider.
271
00:10:31,186 --> 00:10:32,284
I mean...
272
00:10:32,309 --> 00:10:35,911
"Jim Brockmire does not ride
the bus... exclamation point."
273
00:10:35,965 --> 00:10:38,165
Make sure they spell
'exclamation point'
274
00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:41,546
"because that's how much
I don't want to ride the bus."
275
00:10:41,676 --> 00:10:43,485
Yeah, you know, I used to say the bus
276
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,579
is just like a concentration-camp train
277
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:46,716
that made more stops,
278
00:10:46,741 --> 00:10:48,661
but, uh, well, I quickly discovered
279
00:10:48,686 --> 00:10:50,552
that people prefer
their Holocaust humor
280
00:10:50,577 --> 00:10:52,044
to come from Roberto Benigni
281
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,269
and [CHUCKLES] pretty much nobody else.
282
00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:55,654
Okay.
283
00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,554
Before I was hired in PR,
284
00:10:57,579 --> 00:10:59,846
I interned in the analytics department,
285
00:10:59,871 --> 00:11:02,700
and I learned a very important lesson.
286
00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:04,692
Human perception...
287
00:11:04,886 --> 00:11:06,118
is a lie.
288
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,410
But math... math always
tells the truth.
289
00:11:09,558 --> 00:11:13,170
For example, we believed that
hiring an Internet celebrity
290
00:11:13,203 --> 00:11:14,456
would bring in new fans,
291
00:11:14,495 --> 00:11:17,393
but the numbers told a different story.
292
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,770
What is that... like, two pie charts?
293
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,078
I don't understand what's happening.
294
00:11:21,103 --> 00:11:22,904
It's a Venn diagram, Jim.
295
00:11:23,071 --> 00:11:24,291
Oh. Okay.
296
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:25,862
According to focus groups,
297
00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:29,021
our fans hate your podcast,
298
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,306
and your podcast fans hate baseball.
299
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,761
- Interesting, right?
- Mm-hmm.
300
00:11:33,814 --> 00:11:36,696
So, next, we tested
that same group to find.
301
00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:39,165
Art Newly's likability...
302
00:11:39,207 --> 00:11:41,208
92 out of 100.
303
00:11:41,336 --> 00:11:44,169
I mean, makes sense.
He's beloved by generations.
304
00:11:44,545 --> 00:11:48,573
Then, we tested, uh, Jim's likability.
305
00:11:49,437 --> 00:11:51,523
- 67.
- Ha!
306
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,882
- Okay.
- Yeah!
307
00:11:52,907 --> 00:11:55,153
- Is that a good number?
- Great question.
308
00:11:55,263 --> 00:11:58,999
We needed context. We needed a control.
309
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:00,680
So we tested Raj.
310
00:12:00,742 --> 00:12:02,082
And here's where it gets interesting.
311
00:12:02,107 --> 00:12:04,707
Raj is an 84.
312
00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:06,113
[CHUCKLES]
313
00:12:06,328 --> 00:12:08,061
Out of what, like 200?
314
00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:09,552
Out of 100.
315
00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:12,550
200 would make your 67 look even worse.
316
00:12:12,575 --> 00:12:14,351
- You get how that works?
- Yes, no, thank you.
317
00:12:14,376 --> 00:12:15,708
I'm not a complete idiot.
318
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:18,019
Look, anybody could
see that this kid's gonna be
319
00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:20,512
- a big star one day.
- Agreed.
320
00:12:20,589 --> 00:12:22,889
Which is why replacing Art Newly
321
00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:26,816
will now be a two-man
competition between you and Raj.
322
00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:28,411
This kid's a hack! Are you kidding me?
323
00:12:28,436 --> 00:12:32,036
I've known sperm on a crusty
sock with more life experience.
324
00:12:32,173 --> 00:12:33,506
I'm sorry, Jim.
325
00:12:33,531 --> 00:12:35,896
The decision's been made...
Far above my head.
326
00:12:35,971 --> 00:12:39,239
With insistent and
unwavering support from me.
327
00:12:39,294 --> 00:12:42,228
I think I speak for Raj when
I say that neither one of us
328
00:12:42,253 --> 00:12:43,629
wants any part of this thing.
329
00:12:43,654 --> 00:12:46,677
No. No, I'm in... 100%.
330
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:49,071
Et tu, broham?
331
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,267
Look. You've been like a mentor to me.
332
00:12:54,422 --> 00:12:56,426
Uh-huh. We both know it.
So there's no way
333
00:12:56,451 --> 00:12:58,003
I'm gonna let them pit us
against each other.
334
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:00,495
Ah. Excellent.
Y-Y-You gonna bow out, then?
335
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,623
No, I just think we should try
our best and see what happens.
336
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,360
Hey, "F" that, all right? "F" that.
337
00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:06,746
Look, I know this has been a dream of
both of ours for a very long time.
338
00:13:06,771 --> 00:13:09,153
A dream. That's really funny.
No, not really.
339
00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:11,244
I just did, like, improv
for a little while,
340
00:13:11,359 --> 00:13:12,961
and then I took a broadcasting class.
341
00:13:12,986 --> 00:13:14,334
I didn't even really finish it.
342
00:13:14,359 --> 00:13:16,491
I really wanted to call
G-League basketball,
343
00:13:16,516 --> 00:13:18,070
but that's, like, a hard gig to get.
344
00:13:18,095 --> 00:13:20,429
Then Jesus Christ, man, let me have it.
345
00:13:20,469 --> 00:13:22,068
Why can't we both just try to earn it?
346
00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:24,104
'Cause I might not win it
that way, Raj.
347
00:13:24,155 --> 00:13:26,568
Do you know how many
diverse play-by-play men
348
00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,068
there are in baseball?
349
00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:32,304
It's not a rhetorical question.
I literally have no idea.
350
00:13:32,386 --> 00:13:35,363
I'm not a baseball fan. I just want
to know if I should hire a publicist.
351
00:13:35,404 --> 00:13:37,137
Okay, have it your way, but you and I,
352
00:13:37,162 --> 00:13:38,814
we are sworn enemies now, I mean it.
353
00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:41,395
You never know where or how
or when I am gonna strike next,
354
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,688
but let me put it to you this way.
355
00:13:42,713 --> 00:13:44,868
Bob Costas did not expect
to get pink eye
356
00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:46,061
at the Sochi Olympics either,
357
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,228
but I sure as shit made that happen.
358
00:13:48,296 --> 00:13:51,430
Okay, okay, you're...
You're mad at me now.
359
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:55,834
But I will win you back
because everyone loves me.
360
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:57,264
It's a rare gift.
361
00:13:57,339 --> 00:14:00,744
Only Sandy Bullock,
Alex Trebek, and I have it.
362
00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:03,739
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
Fan Fest is about to begin.
363
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:06,019
I freakin' love you.
364
00:14:06,161 --> 00:14:08,960
Have fun out there, okay?
I'll send some your way.
365
00:14:08,985 --> 00:14:10,162
The gates are open.
366
00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:13,730
Head down to the field to meet
your favorite Crawdaddy.
367
00:14:18,521 --> 00:14:21,455
There you are, fan. Enjoy the Fan Fest.
368
00:14:21,563 --> 00:14:23,765
Are you wearing sunblock?
Fan Fest is three hour...
369
00:14:23,815 --> 00:14:26,416
You [BLEEP] Charles. You screwed
me right in the asshole.
370
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,119
- What?
- You tricked me into thinking
371
00:14:28,144 --> 00:14:30,343
this podcast thingy
would get me the Atlanta job,
372
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:31,369
but it didn't do dick.
373
00:14:31,394 --> 00:14:33,059
Quite the opposite. God damn it.
374
00:14:33,121 --> 00:14:35,645
I should just... I should quit
that stupid podcast.
375
00:14:35,717 --> 00:14:37,103
If you're gonna quit
anything, it should be this.
376
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,582
- What?
- You're doing
377
00:14:38,607 --> 00:14:41,127
radio broadcast of a Minor
League Baseball game
378
00:14:41,152 --> 00:14:43,154
to, what, 20,000 people?
379
00:14:43,419 --> 00:14:46,019
"Brock Bottom" gets half
a million downloads an episode.
380
00:14:46,044 --> 00:14:48,044
Hey, give us a second here,
friend, all right?
381
00:14:48,069 --> 00:14:50,069
We're in the middle of something, okay?
382
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,072
We're making good money
from the live shows,
383
00:14:52,097 --> 00:14:53,434
but the real money is in touring.
384
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,726
If you quit this, we can sell
out theaters across the country,
385
00:14:56,751 --> 00:14:59,097
maybe even leapfrog over "Fresh Air"
386
00:14:59,122 --> 00:15:00,721
for the number-two spot.
387
00:15:00,795 --> 00:15:02,194
Well, as much as that Terry Gross
388
00:15:02,219 --> 00:15:03,686
needs to taken down a peg or two,
389
00:15:03,739 --> 00:15:05,338
I am a baseball man, Charles.
390
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:07,124
I mean, the podcast is nice
and everything,
391
00:15:07,149 --> 00:15:08,492
but, uh, it ain't the major leagues.
392
00:15:08,517 --> 00:15:11,717
Ah! Yeah! [SPEAKING CREOLE]
393
00:15:12,841 --> 00:15:14,175
Is he speaking Creole?
394
00:15:14,277 --> 00:15:17,010
Bam! Oh, oh. Bam!
395
00:15:17,065 --> 00:15:18,670
God, there's so many of you.
396
00:15:18,727 --> 00:15:20,547
I am really screwed.
397
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:27,394
Oh, there he is. What's he doing now?
398
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:30,271
Oh. Is that supposed to be me?
399
00:15:30,373 --> 00:15:34,067
Oh, I get it.
I'm so drunk I can hardly walk.
400
00:15:34,096 --> 00:15:36,430
That... That's just hilarious.
401
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,585
You know what, though?
402
00:15:37,667 --> 00:15:39,201
You're not quite selling it, though.
403
00:15:39,226 --> 00:15:40,674
Can I give you a quick pointer?
404
00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:42,557
[GRUNTS]
405
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:45,934
[BAT CLANKS]
406
00:15:50,211 --> 00:15:51,989
Shouldn't you be
more discreet about that?
407
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:53,660
I am being discreet.
408
00:15:53,802 --> 00:15:56,649
Not pouring anything out of this, am I?
409
00:15:57,065 --> 00:16:00,915
So, what was that big idea
to beat Raj you texted me about?
410
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:02,439
I spent all last night looking up
411
00:16:02,464 --> 00:16:04,445
things people like on the Internet.
412
00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,626
Came up with a lot of videos
of autistic kids
413
00:16:06,681 --> 00:16:09,215
sinking 3-point baskets,
but, uh, apparently,
414
00:16:09,251 --> 00:16:11,405
they're very hard
to find on short notice.
415
00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:14,066
And that dog who can't catch
pizza... You know that guy?
416
00:16:14,091 --> 00:16:16,011
He is booked solid for an entire year.
417
00:16:16,037 --> 00:16:19,434
And then it hit me, Charles...
Make-A-Wish cancer kids.
418
00:16:19,488 --> 00:16:21,111
- Oh, Jesus Christ. No.
- Yes.
419
00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:23,426
Unfortunately, when I called
the Make-A-Wish Foundation,
420
00:16:23,451 --> 00:16:26,519
they informed me that no child
had ever requested a visit
421
00:16:26,544 --> 00:16:28,296
to a Minor League
Baseball broadcast booth.
422
00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:29,737
That is so weird!
423
00:16:29,785 --> 00:16:32,919
So I took the liberty of calling
around to local cancer wards
424
00:16:32,944 --> 00:16:35,678
till I came upon the parents
of 8-year-old Dylan Cole,
425
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,737
and I convinced them to let him join me
426
00:16:37,762 --> 00:16:39,035
in the booth this afternoon.
427
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,860
What exactly is wrong with Dylan?
428
00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:43,211
I don't know. Must be really bad
because his doctors,
429
00:16:43,262 --> 00:16:45,729
they did not want him
to leave the hospital.
430
00:16:46,274 --> 00:16:48,494
- I won't be a part of this.
- No, agreed. You know why?
431
00:16:48,543 --> 00:16:49,960
Apparently, he has a lot of equipment
432
00:16:49,985 --> 00:16:51,324
he needs to help him breathe,
433
00:16:51,373 --> 00:16:53,330
so there's gonna be no room
for you there in the booth.
434
00:16:53,355 --> 00:16:55,543
Your job is gonna be
to do focus testing.
435
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,099
That means you hang
around here in the stadium
436
00:16:57,123 --> 00:16:59,323
and you gauge how great
this is playing.
437
00:16:59,348 --> 00:17:01,352
Take some videos
so we can show Whitney later.
438
00:17:01,377 --> 00:17:04,585
Oh, man. This is gonna be
so freakin' uplifting!
439
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,509
Everybody's panties are gonna be wet...
440
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,152
Wet from tears!
441
00:17:08,325 --> 00:17:09,992
[SLURPS]
442
00:17:10,219 --> 00:17:12,552
Wet from tears, Charles!
443
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,441
- MAN: Jim Brockmire?
- Yeah?
444
00:17:14,544 --> 00:17:16,626
We'd like you to meet
the bravest kid in the world...
445
00:17:16,651 --> 00:17:18,252
Our son, Dylan.
446
00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:21,755
Hey. Hi. Oh, hi. That's so many tubes.
447
00:17:22,143 --> 00:17:24,237
H-Hi, Dylan.
448
00:17:24,619 --> 00:17:27,284
Short pop fly to center
for out number three.
449
00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:28,864
Crawdaddys coming up to bat now,
450
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:30,763
and to help me call
the bottom of the 4th
451
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:34,292
is tiny hero and cancer
survivor, Mr. Dylan Cole.
452
00:17:34,317 --> 00:17:35,918
- He's eight years old.
- Aww!
453
00:17:35,984 --> 00:17:38,718
Uh, Dylan, who's your
favorite ballplayer, son?
454
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:41,747
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
455
00:17:42,071 --> 00:17:43,414
Hmm?
456
00:17:44,979 --> 00:17:46,866
Okay, how 'bout I, uh...
I'm gonna move the mic
457
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:50,387
a little bit closer for you,
and that should make it easier.
458
00:17:50,432 --> 00:17:51,831
Go ahead.
459
00:17:52,046 --> 00:17:55,615
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
460
00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:59,011
You know what? I-I-If it's
too difficult for you,
461
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,615
I-I... maybe you shouldn't answer.
462
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,269
No, I don't want you
to waste the energy, son.
463
00:18:02,294 --> 00:18:03,412
It's all right.
I don't want you to answer.
464
00:18:03,436 --> 00:18:05,035
It's all right. Never mind.
Let go of the mic.
465
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,229
Is he gonna hurt himself?
466
00:18:06,609 --> 00:18:07,997
O-Okay. All right. Go ahead.
467
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:11,778
DYLAN: Buster... Posey.
468
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:15,061
Wasn't worth it.
Uh, not by a long shot.
469
00:18:15,190 --> 00:18:16,468
Okay.
470
00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:22,776
??
471
00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:25,285
[CRYING]
472
00:18:26,128 --> 00:18:28,847
??
473
00:18:30,112 --> 00:18:32,045
Top of the 5th, folks.
474
00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:34,695
Dylan is gone.
475
00:18:37,679 --> 00:18:39,688
His parents wheeled him on out of here.
476
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,514
- Oh.
- Um...
477
00:18:42,243 --> 00:18:43,971
See, I invited young Dylan
into the booth
478
00:18:43,996 --> 00:18:46,006
because I thought it might
be inspiring for people.
479
00:18:46,031 --> 00:18:48,912
I mean, who is not inspired
by the courageous tale
480
00:18:48,937 --> 00:18:51,137
of a young man battling cancer...
481
00:18:51,162 --> 00:18:53,564
As a curveball drops
in there for a strike.
482
00:18:53,589 --> 00:18:55,355
0-1.
483
00:18:55,616 --> 00:18:58,484
See, the thing is, though,
I guess I wonder why
484
00:18:58,540 --> 00:19:02,254
because I was not uplifted
by Dylan's burden.
485
00:19:02,279 --> 00:19:04,709
If anything, it just
turned over the rock
486
00:19:04,734 --> 00:19:07,588
under which I keep buried the
knowledge of my own mortality...
487
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:10,421
As Sanchez looks
at one high and away. 1-1.
488
00:19:10,765 --> 00:19:13,166
I mean, maybe we like kids with
cancer so much...
489
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,607
- No, no, no...
- because they're the only time
490
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,192
that human beings are actually
all united in empathy.
491
00:19:17,217 --> 00:19:21,019
But, uh, if it takes the torment
of those most vulnerable
492
00:19:21,044 --> 00:19:22,777
among us to bring us all together,
493
00:19:22,802 --> 00:19:25,014
then, well, what does
that say about humanity...
494
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:28,349
As Sanchez pulls that one foul, 1-2.
495
00:19:30,405 --> 00:19:32,449
Is it because these kids all know
496
00:19:32,474 --> 00:19:33,940
that they're headed to a better place?
497
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,342
Well, they're all raised on fairy tales
498
00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:37,988
and Santa Claus, aren't they?
499
00:19:38,013 --> 00:19:39,879
I mean, their certainty in heaven
500
00:19:39,904 --> 00:19:42,037
should offer us no consolation...
501
00:19:42,062 --> 00:19:44,238
As Sanchez steps out of the box.
502
00:19:44,263 --> 00:19:45,529
Out of the way!
503
00:19:45,693 --> 00:19:50,163
No, see, I suspect the true
reason is much darker.
504
00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:54,407
I suspect that, at a base level,
505
00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:56,809
one that none of us wants to admit,
506
00:19:56,925 --> 00:20:01,010
we love kids with cancer because
their imminent deaths remind us
507
00:20:01,035 --> 00:20:03,502
that we are still alive, people.
508
00:20:03,554 --> 00:20:06,088
They are the ones
being punished, not us...
509
00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:09,490
As Sanchez strikes out
for the fourth time today.
510
00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:11,138
Shit.
511
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,041
That was way worse than
I thought it was gonna be.
512
00:20:15,164 --> 00:20:16,732
CHARLES: It was
only a one-game suspension.
513
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,079
It could've been way worse, right?
514
00:20:21,743 --> 00:20:22,971
Hey, Jim?
515
00:20:22,996 --> 00:20:24,128
Yeah?
516
00:20:24,192 --> 00:20:25,859
Why are we here?
517
00:20:25,927 --> 00:20:27,784
Charles, sometimes you
just have to cut out
518
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,882
those annoying middlemen
called fun and conversation...
519
00:20:31,486 --> 00:20:33,652
and get straight to the booze.
520
00:20:33,807 --> 00:20:36,687
??
521
00:20:36,972 --> 00:20:39,328
I just watched a man pull out
his own loose tooth.
522
00:20:39,474 --> 00:20:40,808
I hate it here.
523
00:20:40,936 --> 00:20:42,602
I didn't get carded when I came in,
524
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:45,000
and I'm not even
the youngest person here.
525
00:20:45,059 --> 00:20:47,470
Oh, Lil Pete's all right.
526
00:20:48,589 --> 00:20:50,916
No, don't... don't make
eye contact with him.
527
00:20:50,941 --> 00:20:53,089
That third trip to juvie,
that changed him.
528
00:20:53,474 --> 00:20:56,459
What are you having, hmm? I'm buying.
529
00:20:57,152 --> 00:20:59,695
Yeah, um, I can't be your producer,
530
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,897
your roommate, your best friend,
531
00:21:01,922 --> 00:21:04,322
housekeeper, and drinking buddy.
532
00:21:04,919 --> 00:21:06,919
I know you said I can't say
their name anymore,
533
00:21:06,944 --> 00:21:09,721
but I only know one person who
can match you drink for drink.
534
00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:10,896
If you want some company,
535
00:21:10,939 --> 00:21:13,339
I recommend making
a call to Morristown.
536
00:21:13,774 --> 00:21:14,980
[SIGHS]
537
00:21:15,049 --> 00:21:16,515
Yeah, you're right.
538
00:21:16,558 --> 00:21:17,788
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
539
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,193
Ha ha!
540
00:21:19,261 --> 00:21:22,129
[LAUGHS]
541
00:21:22,318 --> 00:21:23,550
Whoo!
542
00:21:23,926 --> 00:21:25,730
You know this is not
who I was talking about.
543
00:21:25,755 --> 00:21:27,838
There he is. Brockmire.
544
00:21:27,876 --> 00:21:30,410
Oh, man!
545
00:21:30,644 --> 00:21:32,248
I brought you a present.
546
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:35,578
Oh. What are those, mints?
547
00:21:35,618 --> 00:21:37,217
Horse tranquilizer.
548
00:21:37,312 --> 00:21:39,579
Ah, you see? I missed you.
549
00:21:39,641 --> 00:21:40,894
Come here. Mwah!
550
00:21:40,919 --> 00:21:43,187
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com
551
00:21:47,296 --> 00:21:48,661
You're more likable when you're drunk.
552
00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:51,658
Those are the words that every
alcoholic longs to be true.
553
00:21:53,207 --> 00:21:54,572
This is New Orleans.
554
00:21:54,597 --> 00:21:56,296
Every carnal pleasure
was invented right here.
555
00:21:56,698 --> 00:21:57,964
You're a brown Joe Buck.
556
00:21:58,180 --> 00:22:01,077
Ha ha. No. Joe Buck is a white me.
557
00:22:01,136 --> 00:22:02,902
This literally could not get any worse.
558
00:22:03,038 --> 00:22:05,404
Lucy? Okay, it just got
significantly worse.
559
00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:07,065
??
560
00:22:07,129 --> 00:22:09,963
This comeback might be over
before it's begun.
561
00:22:10,017 --> 00:22:13,018
Ho. We are definitely not
on the same page
562
00:22:13,043 --> 00:22:14,509
about how to spend this evening.
563
00:22:14,578 --> 00:22:17,479
"Brockmire."
Wednesdays at 10:00 on IFC.
42323
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof