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1
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:12,228
The past, the present,
the future with Emily Heller.
2
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:16,058
Hi, I'm Emily Heller, and
I'm sitting here with actor
3
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:18,060
and comedian, Kenan Thompson.
4
00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:19,714
Kenan, are you high right now?
5
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:20,541
Oh, no doubt.
6
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:21,933
Nice.
7
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,632
So we're going to find
out if you are going
8
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,372
to survive the apocalypse.
9
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,895
Yeah.
10
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,028
I have a feeling this
is gonna be a spooky one.
11
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,073
I hope not.
12
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,774
First
card, Page of Swords.
13
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:40,952
The Page of Swords is a
very talkative young man.
14
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,693
He just talks and talks.
15
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,957
He's just a real chatter box.
16
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:48,135
He just won't shut up ever.
17
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:54,140
I don't think I really--
18
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,054
Shsh!
19
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,926
Next card, The World.
20
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:58,927
- The world?
- The world.
21
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,059
Yeah.
22
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,930
I'm up against the world.
23
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:05,803
It's gonna come down
to you, maybe this lady.
24
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,066
It's a lot of pressure.
25
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,546
Have you been doing
some survival training?
26
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,941
I'm not really, you know,
able to go into that, legally.
27
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,118
But let's just say I'm prepared.
28
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:26,607
This next card represents
your hopes and fears.
29
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,304
Juggling.
30
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:29,653
I'm afraid of
juggling in public.
31
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,786
In private you're
fine juggling?
32
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,048
I'm awesome.
33
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:35,311
Chainsaws, bowling balls.
34
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,357
What happens if you
try and do it in public?
35
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,227
Everybody dies.
36
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,663
Oof.
37
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,535
I'm surprised that's
not the main thing
38
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:42,753
people know about you.
39
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:45,713
Next
card, Five of Cups.
40
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,932
When's the last time you
went to Reggae on the River?
41
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:48,890
I've actually never been.
42
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:50,239
What?
43
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,154
Maybe this is
you full of regret.
44
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,939
The head is down cloaked
in shame, looks like.
45
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:57,159
About never going to
Reggae on the River.
46
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,074
That was a sweet time
from what I heard, man.
47
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:00,162
Winning bagels?
48
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,076
Doobies?
49
00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:02,773
You said it.
50
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,341
Next card, The High Priestess.
51
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:08,127
Do you know any
powerful, strong women?
52
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:08,997
Yeah.
53
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:09,867
Yeah, I think I know a few.
54
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,173
What about bitches?
55
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,566
Do you any, like, total bitches?
56
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,569
Well, I'm sorry, can we cut?
57
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:16,439
Cut for a second.
58
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,702
Yeah, we can cut.
59
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,184
That's crazy.
60
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,359
It's desperate.
61
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,970
This is your final outcome.
62
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,624
Wow, final outcome.
63
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,672
This will answer the
question, what's gonna happen
64
00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:34,631
to Kenan during the apocalypse?
65
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:37,765
Last card,
the King of Pentacles.
66
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,201
Riches, joy.
67
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,811
Joy, and riches, and blankets.
68
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,858
Blankets, and herbs,
and spices all for me
69
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:48,645
brought from individual
travelers passing through.
70
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,082
We did it.
71
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:54,173
So it would be 10 jars
of oil for your passage,
72
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,566
5 different boxes of spice.
73
00:02:56,567 --> 00:03:02,181
We need canned goods, water.
74
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,096
If you wanna come
onto my land and live
75
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:07,229
in harmony for the
rest of eternity,
76
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,883
that's what it's gonna cost you.
77
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:13,235
Do you accept
tarot card bartering?
78
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,236
No.
79
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:26,901
Great news, honey.
80
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,163
My 1 o'clock meeting
I've cancelled.
81
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:28,990
I think I have
time for a nooner.
82
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,731
Whoo-hoo!
Sex time.
83
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:33,908
Sex!
Sex!
84
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,650
Let's do this.
85
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:39,653
All right, welcome to
another exciting edition
86
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:43,047
of "Wheel of Sex."
87
00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,179
Who wants to spin first?
- Me!
88
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,311
Oh, I do.
89
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,008
Oh, looks like
someone's excited.
90
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:49,010
All right, Larry, whatever
sex act you land on,
91
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,011
you have to perform.
92
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:53,144
Anal!
Anal!
93
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,537
Anal!
Oh, come on!
94
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:57,105
Ooh, looks like someone's
gonna do some chores.
95
00:03:57,106 --> 00:03:59,542
Stupid tree with
stupid leaves.
96
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,283
I don't even know why they
put that on the wheel.
97
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,328
God!
98
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,938
All right, wheel,
make mama happy.
99
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,853
Oral!
Oral!
100
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,594
Oral!
101
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,986
Beauty!
102
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:12,381
God!
103
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,035
Larry, this is terrible!
104
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,776
Well, I'm not
having a good time either.
105
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:18,692
Anal!
Anal!
106
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,171
It's threesome!
107
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:21,869
Yes, now we're talking!
108
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,131
With the lovely Hogan.
109
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,611
Oh, honey, it's Hogan.
110
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,134
No, we had a man last time.
111
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,004
Fair enough.
112
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,832
With the lovely Crystal.
113
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,139
No, I am using my veto power.
114
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:31,966
Get back in there!
115
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:32,967
It's hot in there.
116
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:33,924
Stop complaining.
117
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,099
We need this job.
118
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,753
All right, Shirley, you're up.
119
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:44,370
Ooh, S & M, where they
start to eat your heart out.
120
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,676
We got chains, whips,
gags, and handcuffs.
121
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,817
Well, whatever it is, Larry, it
can't get any worse than that.
122
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,340
It's doggystyle.
123
00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,776
Now, Larry, you can
keep that or you can
124
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,343
take what's underneath the box.
- I'll take the box!
125
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,736
It's chores!
- Motherfuck--
126
00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:06,261
Stupid title with
a stupid grout.
127
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:08,872
It's Peeping Tom.
128
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,874
Now you two are gonna have sex
while Doug here sits on the bed
129
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,006
and watches.
130
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:12,746
I'm not even here.
131
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:13,877
Get out!
132
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:15,314
Already gone.
133
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,924
Okey-dokey, I'm
just gonna cycle
134
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,360
through the wheel and
see if we can find
135
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,535
something that we're in to.
136
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,710
Glory hole.
- No.
137
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,103
Backwards Twister.
- Bad back!
138
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:22,973
Golden Shower.
139
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,061
Are you kidding me?
140
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,106
Hand Job in the
Airport Bathroom!
141
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,369
Get out of the way, all right?
142
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:28,283
Hey, look at that.
143
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:29,153
Landed on Missionary.
144
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:32,243
It works for me.
145
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:35,682
All right, I guess I'll
just head back inside.
146
00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,118
Oh, actually, is
there any chance
147
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,467
that maybe you could fix
the air conditioning here
148
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,512
because it gets really hot.
149
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:40,817
Just shut the door!
150
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:41,515
You're the boss.
151
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,391
Ooh, daddy likee.
152
00:05:56,921 --> 00:06:00,533
Where the is
my meditation candle?
153
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,317
Friends
for 30 years,
154
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,624
we've been writing comedy.
155
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:08,454
Now we run a Bed and Brunch
in the Hudson Valley.
156
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,716
Hudson Valley Ballers.
157
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,892
What?
158
00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:12,719
Uh.
159
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,242
Mhm.
160
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,287
I'm so glad we moved to
the Hudson Valley, James.
161
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,941
Uh, me too.
162
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:19,856
It's so nice to be out of
the city and just breathe.
163
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,728
Ah, no kidding.
164
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,037
I really do love it here.
165
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,387
Yeah, I noticed.
166
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,041
Who's that girl that
keeps hanging around?
167
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,956
You mean Just Jamie?
168
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,523
Hey, Kendra.
169
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,743
Yeah, I gotta pregnant
feral up on Carney Road,
170
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,788
and she is spooked.
171
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,443
Clawed my face off.
172
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,445
Still love her, though.
173
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,186
I think I'm gonna
name her Bipsy.
174
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,231
Hey.
175
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:55,414
She's Just Jamie.
176
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,199
She just helps me with general
things and various stuff
177
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,330
and so on and the like.
178
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,810
Look, it's none
of my les-ness.
179
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,509
I mean, I'm always checking
out the local drifter.
180
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,908
Oh, man, he is ripe.
181
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,041
Yo go queer for drifters.
182
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:16,913
This cup is so precious.
183
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,002
It's like a little kitten
in a baptismal dress.
184
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:23,267
James, cats never like to be
in any kind of costume, James!
185
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,530
It's never their idea.
186
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,835
Don't give me that
animal shit right now.
187
00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:28,796
Yeah, well, tell that
to a cat on a surfboard.
188
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:37,194
I love our friendship.
189
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,282
Me too.
190
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,414
It's the best.
191
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,418
What do you need, little girl?
192
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,202
What's the matter?
193
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:47,683
I think she wants
to show us something.
194
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:51,208
Is that two people
face down in the yard?
195
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,602
Hand me my opera glasses.
196
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:56,866
OMFG.
197
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:57,824
Huh?
198
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,652
That deer looks
like Mia Farrow.
199
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,828
James, focus.
200
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:02,698
They're not moving.
201
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:03,786
I wonder if they're OK.
202
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,658
Mhm, the grass
looks a little wet.
203
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:09,313
Well, I'm not running these
crocs, I'll tell you that much.
204
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:11,577
Oh, boy, if these
two people are dead,
205
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:14,231
I am gonna be
really, really sad.
206
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,146
Me too.
207
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,986
I just wish the
grass wasn't wet.
208
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,379
I'd be out there.
- Let's throw something.
209
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,686
- I'll do that.
- Maybe we can rouse them.
210
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:39,909
Good one, Paula.
211
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:40,780
Very close.
212
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:41,650
Almost got it.
213
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:44,000
OK, here we go.
214
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:48,439
1, 2, 3.
215
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,224
They're moving.
216
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,226
Hope you're OK because
we're not coming out there.
217
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,880
We are not coming out
there in the wet grass.
218
00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,272
Hi, y'all.
219
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,578
I'm Goiterjean.
220
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:57,927
Hey.
221
00:08:57,928 --> 00:08:59,755
We walked here all
the way from Nashville.
222
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:02,236
We're singers,
songwriters, dream-catchers.
223
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,498
Ahh.
224
00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:05,065
You can say here,
pay what you need.
225
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,240
Yeah, come stay with us.
226
00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,111
I ain't got no money.
227
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,591
They don't have no
dots ploted on it.
228
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,288
But you got something better.
229
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,595
You got an adorable daughter.
230
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,685
I didn't have kids so
it really cuts deep.
231
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,295
Honey, we don't
have a daughter.
232
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,471
Not a one.
233
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:31,352
Have
drunk gin in Virginia,
234
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:36,705
rye in the Rockies, and wine
for the loves that I've lost.
235
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,012
I've get snapped
with the sheriff,
236
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:42,406
play quarters with the convict,
and jumped off some bridges
237
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:45,409
I have crossed.
238
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,629
We now take
you live to Capitol Hill
239
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:50,371
where a Congressional Hearing
on vaguebooking is underway.
240
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,766
Miss Anderson, I guess
I just wanna know why.
241
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,595
Why do you post vague
status updates on Facebook,
242
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,337
also known as vaguebooking?
243
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,818
OK, well, we have
your page pulled up.
244
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:06,430
So here are two recent
status updates of yours.
245
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,041
"I guess this is it."
246
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:11,871
And "Ah, some days I just
wanna start ripping my hair out
247
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:12,915
when you call."
248
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:16,179
Miss Anderson,
what's the point?
249
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,660
It seems like you're just
begging for a response.
250
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,662
Are the posts for one person?
251
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,055
Are they for all of us?
252
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:24,840
You just posted, "I
don't wanna talk about it."
253
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:25,972
Like that.
254
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,888
Is that about me
asking questions?
255
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,541
"Don't look back."
256
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,152
Is there someone behind me?
257
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,370
Congressman, please.
258
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,415
Well, is there?
259
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,721
I don't know.
260
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:39,159
Please, just give
us a straight answer.
261
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,640
Are you OK?
262
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,293
She's writing again.
263
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:44,860
"Quitting."
264
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:45,731
"Hopeless."
265
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:46,906
This is?
266
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,124
Or life is?
267
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,910
Or your relationship
with Rick Clerd?
268
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:51,780
Is that hopeless?
269
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,695
Are any of them about me?
270
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:57,699
"Haven't felt this
way in a while."
271
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,135
Is that good or bad?
- Could either.
272
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,267
Maybe good.
273
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,703
Maybe she's falling
in love with me.
274
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,487
"Don't know how
to make it better."
275
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,402
This situation?
276
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:08,101
Or like, when you posted, "Never
getting better," a week ago?
277
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,972
"Giving up."
278
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,060
Don't give up.
279
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:11,931
We'll get through this.
280
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,323
What's the matter?
281
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,716
- Are you still--
- Yeah, that's what she wrote.
282
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:16,022
still reading.
I'm sorry, I thought you were--
283
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,153
No.
284
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:18,328
Are you giving up on me?
285
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,330
Or are you giving
up on the hearing?
286
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,418
Did you give up on the hearing?
287
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:24,552
Just talk to us.
288
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,772
No, do not type anymore.
289
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:27,773
I don't wanna hear that noise.
290
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:30,340
Do not-- do not hit Send.
291
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,646
Do not--
292
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:33,779
Oh, come on.
293
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,215
Can somebody grab it from her.
294
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,390
I don't care.
295
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,521
I've had enough of this.
296
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:38,784
Does anyone have a charger?
297
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,263
Is it a 4?
I got a 4.
298
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,134
No, yeah.
299
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,483
No.
300
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:43,919
We'll be
back in a few minutes
301
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,529
with this continuing
investigation,
302
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,749
and join us tomorrow for the
Congressional Hearing on people
303
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,882
who use selfie sticks.
304
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,754
So I was at my
29th birthday party
305
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,625
and people were hounding me.
306
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:57,759
They were, like, "Hey,
whatcha gonna choose?"
307
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,587
Or, "Hey, what
are you gonna do?"
308
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,067
You know?
309
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:04,941
And it was then I realized
I had to get serious.
310
00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,206
When a guy like
me gets older, he
311
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:13,383
has to decide whether
to go to grad school
312
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,212
or open a craft brewery.
313
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:24,264
Everyone likes beer, but I
like beer extra, you know.
314
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,962
Most people drink one
beer, but then I'll drink,
315
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:30,009
like, two beers or three beers.
316
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:32,141
I wanna do something
unique, you know?
317
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,361
Something only one million
other guys wanna do.
318
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,275
Hey, honey.
319
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,145
Hey, mom.
320
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,668
Aw, come here.
321
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:40,846
My mom's kind of a
bitch, but I love her.
322
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:45,633
The choice you make will
affect the rest of your life.
323
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,287
I mean, not financially.
324
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:50,812
We'll pay for it, but It will
be the personality you adopt.
325
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:54,337
Well, it's hard because in
grad school, you can party.
326
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:55,686
That'd be awesome.
327
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,776
If I open my
own craft brewery,
328
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,690
I can drink as much
beer as I want,
329
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:00,735
and my friends can
drink there too.
330
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:01,910
Mhm.
331
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,695
Well, it has to
be one of those two.
332
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,045
I'd better get going.
333
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,655
Some gas money.
334
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:08,787
Thank you.
335
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:12,181
Now you drive safe, sweetie.
336
00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:15,794
My dad's kind of a
dick, but I love him.
337
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,319
People think that there's
other options out there--
338
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,062
law school, literally
any other job.
339
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:26,108
But when you're creative,
and you're chill,
340
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,762
and you're
upper-middle class, you
341
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,809
don't have any other options.
342
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:38,207
Come on!
343
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,818
Figured it out.
344
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:45,040
So this is gonna be the brewery,
or the office, or whatever.
345
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:49,653
That's where the brew tanks
are gonna be or my desk.
346
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:51,699
I wish I could, like,
see into the future
347
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,397
and know which one
would be less work.
348
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,838
This is so much pressure.
349
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,322
It's kind of big news
to tell you guys.
350
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:10,979
I'm going to go to grad school
to learn how to brew beer.
351
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,111
Business school?
352
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,853
No, we just make
beer and drink it.
353
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,812
It's a special program at NYU.
354
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:18,987
Probably gonna get pretty drunk.
355
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,772
Your grandpa
would be so proud.
356
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,470
Thanks, dad.
357
00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:24,601
I love you guys.
358
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,517
Oh, it's gonna be wonderful.
359
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,305
I know it's not the end
of my journey, though.
360
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,567
Yes.
361
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,221
After my brewery
goes out of business,
362
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,223
it's just gonna get
harder and harder.
363
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,878
I'm gonna have to decide whether
to work for my dad's company
364
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,880
or just let him pay my bills.
365
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,838
One step at a time, though.
366
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,188
One step at a time.
367
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:53,326
We most Americans
368
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,458
think of Germany, we think of
things that aren't very funny.
369
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,724
Germans are known
for their efficiency,
370
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:04,076
productivity, discipline,
and seriousness,
371
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,904
not for their sense of humor.
372
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,123
Even a sweet silly
word like "giggles"
373
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,473
sounds serious when
you say it in German.
374
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,390
A recent international
poll actually
375
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:17,741
ranked Germany as the least
funny nation in the world,
376
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:20,657
but are Germans really
too serious to be funny?
377
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:24,313
Or is their humor simply
lost in translation?
378
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,055
I'm Brooks Wheelan, and
I'm about to find out.
379
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,373
Germans are aware of
their unfunny reputation
380
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:43,637
and have made a national effort
to combat their humor problem
381
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:46,466
by establishing the German
Humor Institute, which
382
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:47,989
is where I'm headed today.
383
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:50,600
It's crazy how proud
Germany is of its trains
384
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,254
because they have,
like, literally
385
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,213
the worst history with trains.
386
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,432
When we think of trains,
we think of, like,
387
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,217
the Holocaust, which is awful.
388
00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,305
And then you come
over here it's like,
389
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,697
"Have you seen our trains?"
390
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,047
Stuff like, "I've heard
of your trains, you know?
391
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,004
These are nice train."
392
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,223
A dude came by.
393
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,180
He was like, "Would
you like a coffee?"
394
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:06,486
And I was like, "No."
395
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:07,574
And he's like, "But you
called if you wanted.
396
00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:09,924
Do whatever you
want on this train.
397
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:10,838
Forget about other train.
398
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,361
You know, these are nice train."
399
00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:14,668
Was very proud of
our trains now.
400
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,191
We have a mobile hotspot.
401
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:17,105
Mhh, you like that?
402
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:18,106
You put your phone.
403
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,803
You do not look up history.
404
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:20,979
You don't look up history.
405
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,763
We would never kill anyone.
406
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:26,810
Have you seen what
we've done post-1989?
407
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:27,507
Everything before.
408
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,815
Afterwards, ha-ha-ha.
409
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,339
We're into comedy.
410
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,645
Don't let us do another war.
411
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:38,213
We'll be so embarrassed.
412
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:42,043
If I was gonna understand German
humor, I had to get serious.
413
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:43,740
And nowhere on
Earth is humor taken
414
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:47,092
more seriously than the
German Humor institute.
415
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:50,399
The institute offers personal
humor coaching, joke seminars,
416
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,272
and classes on subjects
like humorous spontaneity
417
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,925
and sarcasm.
418
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,318
Brooks, let me
tell you something
419
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:57,493
about the German humor.
420
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:58,799
OK, this is great.
421
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,930
Germans love structure.
422
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:00,801
You know, structure?
423
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,455
I can tell, yeah.
424
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:06,067
They totally like
exaggeration like press yourself
425
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,329
while telling a funny story.
426
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,462
They have a bit of a
difficult history, so--
427
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,898
What?
428
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,076
Germans may not be
very good at sarcasm,
429
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,035
but they sure are
good at charts.
430
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,254
Let's come to humor styles.
431
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,343
Eva was teaching me
to be funny the same way
432
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:24,390
scientists teach evil robots
how to imitate humans.
433
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,696
Getting your eyes bigger,
and using your muscles here,
434
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,134
and just using your smile.
435
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,352
Yeah, that's pretty good.
436
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,223
OK, yeah.
437
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,224
Open your mouth.
438
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:33,747
Yeah.
439
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,488
Think about something sad.
440
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:41,668
Try to take your eyes
a little bit down.
441
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,886
You're coming there.
442
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,932
Yeah.
443
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:48,240
And what, of course, is very
easy that's why we go from--
444
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,415
We can't just move on now.
445
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,417
We're just gonna
move on after that?
446
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,810
So what I would like
to do is to exercise
447
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,116
and you ask me,
"What are you doing?"
448
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,944
And I'm allowed to
answer everything, just
449
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:59,947
not this thing what I'm doing.
450
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,862
What are you doing, Eva?
451
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,125
I'm cleaning the toilet.
452
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,519
OK.
453
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,174
I wasn't sure what she was
doing or what I was doing
454
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,001
or why either of
us were doing it.
455
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,352
All I knew was that there had
to be more to German comedy
456
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,831
than this.
Thank you so much.
457
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:15,702
I really appreciate it.
458
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:16,617
Great having you.
459
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:24,885
I hit the streets of Berlin,
Germany's capital city,
460
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,452
to talk to some locals.
461
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:30,238
Would you say Germans have
a good sense of humor?
462
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,370
Oh, yes.
463
00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:36,026
Yeah, kind of.
464
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,680
No, they don't have.
465
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:40,553
I think they have a really
strange sense of humor.
466
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,382
Would you say
that you are funny?
467
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,688
I think I have a
kind of humor in me.
468
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,820
I like it.
469
00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:48,343
Yeah, I think you do too.
470
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:51,085
I think in the South, people
are more maybe outgoing.
471
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:54,610
In the North, the humor
is more about the deeper
472
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:55,698
sense of what you say.
473
00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:59,746
What's your
favorite comedy movie?
474
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:02,052
This is the question
I can't answer.
475
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:05,012
No one could
give me any definitive answers.
476
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:07,362
I decided the only way to find
out what's funny in Germany
477
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:09,103
is by asking a funny German.
478
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:10,409
So I met up with
one of Germany's
479
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:13,194
most popular stand-up
comedians, Manuel Wolff.
480
00:19:13,195 --> 00:19:14,500
You do stand up comedy, right?
481
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,241
I do stand-up comedy
here in Germany, yeah.
482
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:17,285
Is there any way
that you could,
483
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:19,983
like, generalize what Germans--
484
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,203
what the sense of humor is?
485
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,335
We don't have
a sense of humor.
486
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,205
That's it?
487
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,251
No.
488
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:27,165
Are we that serious?
489
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,383
Do we come across as--
490
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,993
Yes, that's what
the world thinks.
491
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,038
That's what the world thinks?
492
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:31,952
They have to be wrong.
493
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,040
Everybody has a sense of humor.
494
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,216
I'd say there is
some reservation
495
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:38,611
about certain topics or
about risky subjects,
496
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,917
not just World War II,
just like anything.
497
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:41,918
Do you guys make
fun of Americans?
498
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:43,137
No.
499
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:44,225
In Germany, do you have like--
No.
500
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,531
No, never.
501
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:46,314
There's nothing to make
fun of the Americans.
502
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,968
OK.
503
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:50,057
I mean, they're the best and
greatest people in the world.
504
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,363
That's what I thought.
505
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:51,928
Let's just move on
to the next question.
506
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,495
Next question.
507
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:56,542
Is it difficult to, like,
translate the German language
508
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,326
into, like, a joke structure?
509
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,328
Yes, I could give
you an example.
510
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:03,288
The English language
quite naturally
511
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,942
puts the punchline or the joke
at the end of the sentence.
512
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,596
Yeah.
513
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:11,252
And with German sentence
structure, it's more difficult.
514
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,255
For example, punchline of a
joke would be, "And that's
515
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,952
why I took the dog
to the manicure."
516
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:17,084
Yeah.
517
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,477
And in German, it would be--
518
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:24,787
So
manicure is the punchline,
519
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,659
but it wouldn't be the
end of the sentence.
520
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,009
You have to say [SPEAKS A GERMAN
PHRASE] to tell the audience
521
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:30,358
that you took the
dog there, right?
522
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,012
Yeah, yeah.
523
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:33,579
How do you feel German audience
is, like, different from, like,
524
00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:34,667
English-speaking audiences?
525
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:35,842
Yeah.
526
00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:37,713
English audiences
are more forgiving.
527
00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:39,367
If you have, like,
10 good jokes and 1
528
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:43,328
bad joke, English audience would
go, "Hey, telling great jokes.
529
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:44,720
Thank you, thank
you, thank you."
530
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,156
German audience would
say, "Well, that one joke,
531
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,810
that wasn't OK."
532
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:48,681
That is my impression.
533
00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,465
That sounds terrible.
534
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:52,685
For me, I'll be like,
"What about the 10?"
535
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,121
You know what?
536
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:57,559
I play tonight, doing
stand-up tonight in English.
537
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,300
Well, you should come.
You can perform.
538
00:20:59,301 --> 00:20:59,996
It's an open stage.
- Really?
539
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,128
Yeah, of course.
540
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,172
I'm very excited,
but I'm terrified.
541
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:03,478
Let's go.
542
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:04,698
OK, all right.
543
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:25,021
This is like the most
German thing I've ever seen.
544
00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:27,981
As you can hear from my
accent, I'm not English.
545
00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:30,462
I'm Australian.
546
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:32,594
Sorry, no offense
to other Germans,
547
00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:34,509
but I started to do
stand-up comedy in English
548
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:36,729
to get away from other Germans.
549
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:38,905
You could be climbing
some remote mountains
550
00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:40,298
somewhere in the Himalayas.
551
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:43,518
The one other German person
in the 600-mile radius
552
00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:46,129
will finally climb up
to you and go, "Hello."
553
00:21:47,262 --> 00:21:48,567
A huge round of applause.
554
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,872
Mr. Brooks Wheelan.
555
00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:55,182
This is a crowded,
man, like there's
556
00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:56,924
no German word for fire code?
557
00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:02,363
Relax, guys, you can
sell out, you know that.
558
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:03,930
You can just be,
like, we're full.
559
00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:06,280
OK, I have, like, one German
word down, which is "hello."
560
00:22:06,281 --> 00:22:09,370
like, I can knock that
out of the park.
561
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,372
Like when I go into, like, a
restaurant, I'm like, "Hello."
562
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,721
And they're like,
563
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,422
And I have to be,
like, "Oh, I lied.
564
00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:21,382
I don't know what
you just said to me."
565
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,557
I used to live in New York City.
566
00:22:22,558 --> 00:22:23,515
I left.
567
00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:25,081
It's just
not for me, man.
568
00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:25,995
It's too rough.
569
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:26,909
New York is insane.
570
00:22:26,910 --> 00:22:28,171
They love how they are.
571
00:22:28,172 --> 00:22:30,739
They're like, "Welcome
to New York City,
572
00:22:30,740 --> 00:22:31,871
the city that never sleeps."
573
00:22:31,872 --> 00:22:33,263
No, man.
574
00:22:33,264 --> 00:22:37,050
Well, that sounds like
a nightmare.
575
00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:37,964
I sleep all the time.
576
00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,314
It really helps my mood.
577
00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:41,360
You should try sleep.
578
00:22:47,061 --> 00:22:48,322
I had no idea this
scene was here.
579
00:22:48,323 --> 00:22:50,019
It's awesome.
580
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,587
Like, this is very cool, and
you guys should be superproud.
581
00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:54,763
I was really pleasantly,
amazingly surprised.
582
00:22:54,764 --> 00:22:55,721
And thank you so much.
583
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:00,900
Guys, Brooks Wheelan.
584
00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:01,770
Thanks.
585
00:23:01,771 --> 00:23:02,641
Thanks, man.
586
00:23:02,642 --> 00:23:05,383
I'll see you, dude.
587
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,733
Reminders of Germany's
dark turbulent history
588
00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:10,083
are everywhere in Berlin,
and some of that history
589
00:23:10,084 --> 00:23:12,302
is very recent, which
makes last night's comedy
590
00:23:12,303 --> 00:23:14,174
show seem even more remarkable.
591
00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:16,002
Germans seem to be moving
out from the shadows
592
00:23:16,003 --> 00:23:20,049
of its dark past and into a
much brighter, funnier future.
593
00:23:20,050 --> 00:23:21,661
A bit insane.
41384
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