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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:06,310 So there's three of you in the band. 2 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:08,530 Where is Danielle today? 3 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:09,574 She isn't feeling well. 4 00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:10,532 Yeah. 5 00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:13,665 She's super sick. 6 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,624 No, she's just like regular sick. 7 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:18,366 Not with the bunny ears. 8 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,194 Yeah, I think you just like doing that. 9 00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,500 My name's Janessa Slater and I'm a media coach 10 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,067 who's helped hundreds of bands. 11 00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:25,416 This is "Sound Advice." 12 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:31,031 So you guys are sisters and your last name is Haim. 13 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,076 So you're kind of like the female Nelson 14 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,991 with slightly shorter hair. 15 00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,515 I don't think anyone's ever said that. 16 00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:39,474 No one's ever really compared us to Nelson. 17 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,518 We love-- - I'm down. 18 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:41,128 I love Nelson. - I'm down. 19 00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,868 I mean-- 20 00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,609 OK, I'm glad that you love Nelson because if you didn't, 21 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,568 we'd have more than words. 22 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,178 Isn't that extreme? 23 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,614 Isn't that-- 24 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:53,749 It might be extreme but that's just how I roll. 25 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:56,360 So what does "Haim" mean in Hebrew? 26 00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:57,666 OK, let me guess. 27 00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,624 She who parts hair in the middle. 28 00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,017 No, It actually means life. 29 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,410 Yeah, it means life. 30 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:05,195 Like you know, the Black Eyed Peas song. 31 00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,109 "Mazel tov. 32 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:06,979 L'chaim." 33 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:07,980 It's like a cheers. 34 00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,112 It's like a life thing. 35 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:10,809 Yeah. 36 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,116 But does it also mean she who parts hair in the middle. 37 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:17,077 Este, you're known for making bass face during concerts. 38 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,426 Can I see what that looks like? 39 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:20,645 I can't do it unless I'm playing bass. 40 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,952 It's not like-- it's not like something I can just-- 41 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:23,953 - Like turn on. - do. 42 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:24,867 OK. 43 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,216 Well let me just-- 44 00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:27,391 I just want to give you some alternative 45 00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:28,349 faces you might want to do. 46 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,133 OK. 47 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:33,005 So like the faces that you do now are kind of like this. 48 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,572 But I feel like you could do other ones. 49 00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,487 You know, like you could be like. 50 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:38,794 You know, like I'm surprised I'm playing music. 51 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,970 Or like, you know, like I'm-- 52 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,276 What's that one? 53 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:45,148 I'm kind of quiet, or playing music, 54 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,281 or you know, like frowning. 55 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,891 I'm frowning. 56 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:50,501 I'm playing music instead of always just being like, 57 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,677 you know, like-- 58 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,375 That was terrifying. 59 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,725 OK, so now I'm going to read some lyrics from your song 60 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,379 forever and give you some feedback. 61 00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,336 OK. 62 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:00,424 Hey you. 63 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,034 Remember me. 64 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,645 Remember love. 65 00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:06,691 Remember trying to stay together. 66 00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,780 I just feel like you can maybe make your lyrics a little bit 67 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,478 more personal, you know. 68 00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:13,568 Like maybe remember when we went to Urban Outfitters, 69 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,179 and it was closed, and we like lost our minds. 70 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,400 Remember when we like couldn't find 71 00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:24,666 like our weird high heeled boots and we like lost it. 72 00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:27,147 I mean, if that's the kind of song you want to write. 73 00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,541 OK. 74 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,630 You guys, OK, let's gab about Danielle. 75 00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:34,110 OK, this is my impression of Danielle. 76 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,943 Is this the impression? 77 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:44,207 Like I know you guys are like all sisters and stuff. 78 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:49,081 But like-- are we like kind of mad that she didn't come? 79 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,082 Not mad. 80 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,214 She's like actually ill. 81 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,868 It's like-- 82 00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:55,262 Did she not come because she was like being a bitch? 83 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,567 Stop talking shit about my sister. 84 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:57,786 Yeah. It's pretty-- 85 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:58,874 - It's not nice. - It's pretty low. 86 00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,092 She's like actually sick. 87 00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:01,833 But are you guys, like, so pissed? 88 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,487 Like you're just like, oh. 89 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,923 No. 90 00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:06,490 Like really, I like want to call her now. 91 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,013 Yeah. 92 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,972 And be like you're being a total div', Dani? 93 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,539 "Div'?" 94 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:12,670 Yeah, I'm surprised you've never heard that term. 95 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,150 It's huge in the music indo. 96 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,717 Do you want to call Danielle? 97 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,545 I kinda-- I feel like, yeah, maybe we should call. 98 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:18,589 I feel really bad now. 99 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,548 I was sick and I made it here. 100 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:26,597 Excuse me. 101 00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,136 Hi I'm Eliot Glazer. 102 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,312 And I'm Ilana Glazer. 103 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,183 And this is KRAP TV. 104 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,586 KRAP TV presents. 105 00:03:58,716 --> 00:03:59,500 Presents. 106 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,853 That was actually a notebook full of my stats 107 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:05,723 from the actual game. 108 00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:06,681 I know. 109 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,335 Look-- 110 00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:09,988 I just want to make an apology to our Asian friends. 111 00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,252 It's like I just put on a hat and did a weird voice. 112 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,428 I love that we used a pom pom as a wig. 113 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,865 He took a gerbil home, like, from class, 114 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,345 like, let the gerbil take a-- 115 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,782 like, dumps all up in those pom poms. 116 00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:22,523 And then that shits on my head. 117 00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,656 And she just shook it out, and there was poop coming out. 118 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,049 Oh, I like how you have a little potbelly. 119 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,054 A little girl with a potbelly. 120 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:33,229 It's so cute. It's cute. 121 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,143 All kids have them. 122 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,536 But it's cute. 123 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,538 I had the movements of a middle aged woman. 124 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,322 And I'm telling you like, gender wise. 125 00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,585 I was like, now, what can I go for you, you know what I mean? 126 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:45,110 And you're like doo, doo, doo, doo. 127 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,025 You channeled your energy in a cool-- 128 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:48,940 I channeled my energy in a cool way 129 00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,594 that could only be channeled by someone 130 00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:52,596 who didn't have any friends. 131 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:06,654 Hey. 132 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,133 Excuse me, I'm just going to grab some water. 133 00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,483 Tony Hale. Tony Hale. 134 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:10,745 What's your name? 135 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,224 I'm Rob King. I'm your biggest fan. 136 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,487 Oh, that's so nice. 137 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:14,705 Rob, I appreciate that. - Absolutely. 138 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:15,706 I'm just going to release my hand. 139 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:16,925 - Yeah. - Thank you so much. 140 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:17,882 Oh, my gosh. "Veep." 141 00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:18,666 Yeah. Yeah. 142 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:19,580 Yeah. Yeah. 143 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,450 Do you watch it? - Yeah. 144 00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:21,625 - Do you do? - Yeah. 145 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:22,757 Oh, that's nice. Thanks, dude. 146 00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,106 - Do you like it? - I do. 147 00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:25,499 Very nice people. 148 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,196 Funny writing and we have a really good time. 149 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,328 Yeah. 150 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,677 I have a good time. - Do you? 151 00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:30,852 - Yeah. - Oh, that's so nice. 152 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,114 Can I ask you some more questions? 153 00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:33,028 Please. 154 00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,116 OK. 155 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:35,509 Wow, you got cards. 156 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,598 Just keep them there just in case. 157 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,426 - Just in case you run into me? - Yeah, you never know. 158 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,731 Sure. 159 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:41,732 So it's-- what's it-- what's it like 160 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:42,690 working in the White House? 161 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,651 It's-- it's a show about-- 162 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:48,957 about the White House. 163 00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,132 We don't actually work there but we-- 164 00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,176 No. No. 165 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,395 Yeah. Yeah. 166 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:53,222 - That's OK. - I know that. 167 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,266 No. No. 168 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,267 I know. It looks very real. 169 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,356 It's so cool. And real. 170 00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:57,269 Very life like. 171 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,183 Very real. 172 00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,054 It's shot very gritty. 173 00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:00,360 The sets are fan-- 174 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,186 I can see how you would think that. 175 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,362 I'm not Gary Walsh. 176 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,275 - I like him. - Isn't he great? 177 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,407 - Yeah. - He's great. 178 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:05,365 Yeah. 179 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,018 I'm the guy playing him. 180 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,585 We're different. - Totally. 181 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:09,586 You got that, right? 182 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:10,413 Sometimes the same though? 183 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:11,283 No. 184 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,328 OK. 185 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:13,373 Do you have another question? 186 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:14,635 I feel like I'm in a pageant. 187 00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,201 What are your thoughts on tax reform? 188 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,986 I don't know how to break this down to you easier. 189 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,075 But I don't know anything about politics, man. 190 00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,120 You can enjoy yourself on Sunday night and watch "Veep." 191 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,513 You can enjoy it for 30 minutes. 192 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:24,514 And then you got to get on with your life. 193 00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:25,907 You need to back off. 194 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:26,995 If you see somebody from "Game of Thrones" 195 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,213 don't walk up to them and say, is 196 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,477 your family tribe going to die? 197 00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,696 "Game of Thrones" is not a real show, Tony Hale. 198 00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:33,915 OK. 199 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,612 Do you ever think that two people 200 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,179 who barely know each other could be best friends for life? 201 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:38,441 I don't think that's a possibility. 202 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:39,660 - Robert King and Tony Hale. - Robert? 203 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:40,748 Yeah. 204 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,923 That's never going to happen. 205 00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,794 I'm never going to be your friend. 206 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,971 Do you understand me? 207 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:47,885 Yes, Tony Hale. 208 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,020 Did you feel that? 209 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,456 You know what, I'm going to take your cards. 210 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:54,326 I was done with them. 211 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:55,240 So yeah. 212 00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,938 Oh, perfect. 213 00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,027 What is it like to go on CNN every night 214 00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,420 with President Meyer? 215 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:03,640 Robert, I don't work at the White House. 216 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,120 It's not real. 217 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,600 Get it together, dude. 218 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,340 Don't do this to somebody again, all right? 219 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,386 Walk away. 220 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,300 Get it. 221 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,301 All right? 222 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,917 Hey, Madam President. 223 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,180 Yeah, I think my cover's been blown. 224 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:26,097 His name is Robert and we need to do something about it. 225 00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,403 OK, I'll talk to you later. 226 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:28,273 Uh-huh. 227 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,318 Bye. 228 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,893 Welcome to Above Average music video. 229 00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:13,101 Learn to fake it. 230 00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:20,935 You won't make it out standing on your feet. 231 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:23,590 What's your problem? 232 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,115 Always making a scene. 233 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,465 You're your own worst enemy. 234 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,423 Talk to me now. 235 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,991 You've got money, but got no class. 236 00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:36,428 I talk loving, but you talk trash. 237 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:41,869 Hiding all your lies under the carpet. 238 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:46,656 Every minute you cause a scene, always taking it out on me. 239 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,790 Think it's time we finish what we started. 240 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,446 You've got money but got no class. 241 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,275 I talk loving but you talk trash. 242 00:08:57,406 --> 00:09:02,716 Hiding all your lies under the carpet. 243 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:07,590 Every minute you cause a scene, always taking it out on me. 244 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,767 Think it's time we finish what we started. 245 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:30,874 You can't help it, burning bridges down with everyone 246 00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:34,008 you meet. 247 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:44,018 Heartache always comes so easily when you mess around with me. 248 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,977 You've got money but got no class. 249 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,501 I talk loving but you talk trash. 250 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:54,942 Hiding all your lies under the carpet. 251 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:59,816 Every minute you cause a scene, always taking it out on me. 252 00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,819 Think it's time we finish what we started. 253 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,784 Finish what we started. 254 00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:49,257 We can't stop the fighting 'cause you're always hiding. 255 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,738 Have fun out there on your own. 256 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,828 It's time to finish what we started. 257 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:47,619 Finish what we started. 258 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,144 You've got money but got no class. 259 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:53,147 I talk loving but you talk trash. 260 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:58,152 Hiding all your lies under the carpet. 261 00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:03,548 Every minute you cause a scene, always taking it out on me. 262 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:08,510 Think it's time we finish what we started. 263 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,469 You've got money but got no class. 264 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,907 I talk loving buy you talk trash. 265 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:19,390 Hiding all your lies under the carpet. 266 00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:24,569 Every minute you case a scene, always taking it out on me. 267 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:30,010 Think it's time we finish what we started. 268 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,969 Can't stop the fighting. 269 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,492 You're always siding. 270 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:43,371 Can't stop the fighting. 271 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,894 You're always siding. 272 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:53,816 Can't stop the fighting. 273 00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,775 You're always siding. 274 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,018 My name's Janessa Slater, and I'm a media coach 275 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,585 who's helped hundreds of bands. 276 00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:26,544 This is Sound Advice. 277 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,329 I'm sorry, have we met before? 278 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,244 You've definitely met before. 279 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:31,201 You remember us-- 280 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,724 Because Este-- 281 00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:33,987 Este. 282 00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:34,901 Alana. 283 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:35,902 Alana. 284 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:36,946 And then-- yeah. 285 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,382 - Yeah. - I don't remember-- 286 00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:39,340 Danielle. 287 00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,732 I wasn't here last time. 288 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,604 And why were you not here? 289 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:44,127 I was really sick, actually. 290 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,650 I don't know why it would be that big of a deal 291 00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,000 if you were sick, you know? 292 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,697 Because, like, at your concerts anyway, 293 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,090 you're always just like-- 294 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,923 You sound like you're clearing your throat. 295 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,447 Well, you said it. 296 00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:01,362 What's inspiring your next album? 297 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,885 We got a tour-- we were lucky enough 298 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,452 to tour for two years straight, and we've been, 299 00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:05,888 like, everywhere. 300 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,716 I can't believe you got that much time off 301 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,283 from Urban Outfitters. - You don't work at-- 302 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,806 We never worked out Urban Outfitters. 303 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,764 Yeah, we don't work at Urban Outfitters. 304 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:16,029 Gals, I know that we're in California, OK, 305 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,640 but we don't always have to wear leather jackets. 306 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:21,077 It's like, did somebody call the Fonz? 307 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:25,952 Maybe try swapping out a leather jacket for, I don't know, 308 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,388 a smart blazer. 309 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:28,389 I didn't even realize we were all gonna just 310 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:29,738 wear leather jackets, but-- 311 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,695 Can I-- can I-- can I-- 312 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:31,914 can I address that as well? 313 00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:33,524 You know, this cool girl thing of, 314 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,962 like, I just put on a leather jacket 315 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:38,399 and I don't have to worry about if it's flattering 'cause I'm 316 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:41,750 skinny and, like, I'm not wearing three pairs of Spanx 317 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:42,882 and-- you know what I mean? 318 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,405 Like, we get it. 319 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,624 Who says I'm not wearing three pairs of Spanx? 320 00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,148 Alana? 321 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,540 You're really not selling me on this smart blazer. 322 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:52,326 Alana, it's just like, I get it. 323 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,849 You're cool girls. 324 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,329 You're, like-- I don't know, like, 325 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,679 I think I maybe want to see a concert tonight. 326 00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,072 A what? 327 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,509 I just, like, want to, like, have snacks 328 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,512 and, like, go to a concert. 329 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,427 Like, that's kind of how you guys come off. 330 00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:07,689 I mean, I love snacks. 331 00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:08,908 And I love concerts too. 332 00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,561 I love concerts. 333 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,128 But do you, like-- like, having snacks? 334 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,348 Wait, but what is this voice that you're doing? 335 00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,524 Alana, like, you have to let me talk. 336 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:17,786 I'm sorry. 337 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:18,613 'Cause we won't get anything, like-- 338 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,354 I just-- 339 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:21,659 Like, I'm-- I'm not your teacher, so I'm not gonna send 340 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:22,747 you to detention, but like-- 341 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,140 Why are you picking on Alana? 342 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:25,750 'Cause she's like my little sister. 343 00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,361 I'm so not your little sister. 344 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:28,536 - No. - We're all sisters. 345 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:29,580 - We can't-- - No, we're not. 346 00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:30,494 No, we're not. 347 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,669 No, we're not sisters. 348 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,888 You're doing really well, and I 349 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,282 think that a great next step might 350 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:36,848 be to add me to your band. 351 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:37,849 You know? 352 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,155 I'm kind of hot and Jewish. 353 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,201 I could just kind of insert myself in. 354 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,464 Let's just improvise a song right now, 355 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:48,556 and I'll just kind of show you how seamlessly I would fit in. 356 00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,471 We'll see. 357 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,603 Can you guys play something too? 358 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,388 So it feels like the whole band is playing. 359 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,390 OK. 360 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,347 Oh. 361 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:04,006 And I don't even know what to do. 362 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,921 Yeah. 363 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:06,922 Oh. 364 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,320 This was a mistake. 365 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:14,799 Oh. 366 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:18,716 OK, that's enough. That was crazy. 367 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:19,674 I don't even know what that was. 368 00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:20,762 So good. 369 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:23,069 That was really, really bad. 370 00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,418 Blew your minds. 371 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,507 All right, guys, can I have a sister hug? 372 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:31,903 No. 373 00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:32,992 No. 374 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,254 - Uh-uh. - No. 375 00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:35,385 - Ow. - No. 376 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:36,343 No. 377 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,431 We're sisters. 378 00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:38,562 No we're not. 379 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,737 We love each other. 380 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,913 No we don't. 381 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:53,490 Just the Russian literature professor I was hoping to see. 382 00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:54,926 Hillary! 383 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,450 Uh, could this wait until Monday morning? 384 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,626 I'm meeting my wife's sister at the train station. 385 00:16:58,756 --> 00:16:59,583 Of course. 386 00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:00,541 Have a nice weekend. 387 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,850 Why don't you just tell me what it is now? 388 00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:06,764 Excellent. 389 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,027 It's about extra credit. 390 00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:09,419 Well, you already have an A. 391 00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:11,291 I'd like to do some extra credit on behalf 392 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,161 of the other students. 393 00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,468 Absolutely not. 394 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,383 You're being very authoritarian. 395 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,037 I am the authority! 396 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,604 Hillary, that's not how learning works. 397 00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,867 But I'm caring for the less fortunate. 398 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,739 Would your friends like to know that you think 399 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,306 of them as less fortunate? 400 00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,656 They know. 401 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:29,961 Have a nice weekend, Hillary. 402 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:35,445 Yes, what? 403 00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,620 Yes, Hillary, what? 404 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,231 Just a moment of your time. 405 00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:39,928 I-- I can't be late. 406 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,322 My wife's sister already doesn't like me. 407 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,627 My sympathies. 408 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,238 Now, if someone were looking to access 409 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:48,328 upcoming quizzes in your office, where would she look? 410 00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,069 You want help cheating in my course? 411 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:50,982 Not for me. 412 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:51,853 I won't look. 413 00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:52,810 It's for my compatriots. 414 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,508 That's still cheating. 415 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:55,813 - It should be allowed. - Why? 416 00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:57,554 Why should that be allowed? 417 00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:00,427 Because my heart is in the right place, so everything I do 418 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:01,558 is right. 419 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,603 Good day. 420 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:09,044 Hillary, I lied to you before. 421 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,872 My wife is an only child. 422 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,352 There is no sister. 423 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,615 There is no train station. 424 00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:18,140 A shipment of miniatures that I ordered has come in, 425 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:21,665 and I should very much like to go home and open them up. 426 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,145 What are miniatures? 427 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:26,061 They're very tiny real-world objects, 428 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:30,805 like a tiny vacuum cleaner or a really tiny teacup. 429 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,502 I like them because they make me feel 430 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,113 big, which is nice because I have 431 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,115 no dominion in my own home. 432 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:40,510 I lied to you before when I said that I lied to you. 433 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:45,820 My wife does have a sister, and she lives with us already. 434 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:51,217 I've never felt powerless before. 435 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,132 That sounds terrible. 436 00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:56,091 It is. 437 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,484 Hillary, what do you want? 438 00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,703 I should teach the next course session. 439 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,575 Fine. 440 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,098 Just one session. 441 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:06,101 We're covering "Fathers and Sons." 442 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,451 I'll be using my own syllabus. 443 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:09,409 Of course. 444 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:17,504 Enjoy your tiny vacuum. 445 00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,638 I really respect him. 446 00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:28,471 Ba-da-da-da, 7 Minutes in Heaven. 447 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:29,429 Oh, yeah! 448 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,954 Hi, this is 7 Minutes in Heaven with Mike O'Brien. 449 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,216 I'm here today with John Oliver. 450 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:35,696 Hi, John. - Hello, Mike. 451 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:36,610 Thanks for coming. 452 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,611 It's a pleasure. 453 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,700 Is Vanity Smurf here today? 454 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:40,701 Hold on a second. 455 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,314 Yes. 456 00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:48,012 What does he think of Occupy Wall Street? 457 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,454 You know what? vanity is so torn on that as an issue. 458 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:55,803 Yeah 459 00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,631 Because you got to understand, Vanity 460 00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:58,545 works hard for his money. 461 00:19:58,675 --> 00:19:59,763 Yes. 462 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,504 But he's aware that the wealth-- 463 00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,333 wealth gap's probably got too big, even for a fiscal 464 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,117 conservative like Vanity. 465 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,032 But yeah, vanity Smurf, I mean, it's 466 00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:09,251 a role you don't take lightly. 467 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:10,513 No. 468 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:13,429 It was a good, pared-down, spar script. 469 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,039 It was like David Mamet style. 470 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,127 Snappy, snappy dialogue. 471 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,303 Yeah. 472 00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,347 And I like to think I delivered. 473 00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:19,566 Yeah. 474 00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:20,741 I thought about it before I went in. 475 00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:21,655 I think so. 476 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:22,656 I think so. 477 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,092 I'll be excited to see it. 478 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,834 Oh, so you haven't seen it? 479 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:28,966 I have not yet. 480 00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:32,840 So you thought you'd wait for it to leave movie theaters 481 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,103 and just watch it at home. 482 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,147 You didn't want to see it-- 483 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,193 I've been in the hospital. 484 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,934 It better have been serious. 485 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,415 It better have been so serious that whatever 486 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:44,460 you're about to reveal makes me feel bad now. 487 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:48,682 Because otherwise, I'm angry in a way I can't fully articulate. 488 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:53,861 My heart had, um, s-- 489 00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:55,079 syphilis. 490 00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:57,821 I head syphilis located-- 491 00:20:57,952 --> 00:21:04,219 uh, centered in my heart, which is non-sexually transmitted. 492 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,221 You get it if you're volunteering 493 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,267 around kids too much. 494 00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,877 They often have it around their mouths. 495 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:16,275 And if you feel too much when you look at them. 496 00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:19,016 Say yes or no to whether these adjectives apply to you. 497 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:19,887 OK. 498 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:20,931 Affable. 499 00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:21,889 Yes. 500 00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,934 Steadfast. 501 00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:25,327 - Indeed. - That's-- 502 00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:26,502 - You don't say-- - That's the-- 503 00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:27,547 You don't say yes to steadfast. 504 00:21:27,677 --> 00:21:28,461 No one's ever-- a nosy parker? 505 00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,161 - Yeah. - Yeah. 506 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,031 I thought maybe. 507 00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:35,250 Little bit. 508 00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:37,339 Totally jealous of Gorbachev's wife. 509 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,344 Yeah. 510 00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:43,258 I mean, she's got it-- 511 00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:44,477 Sure. 512 00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:45,913 like, made in the shade, you know? 513 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:47,915 She's got it made in the shade. 514 00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:50,134 Not only is he a handsome man. 515 00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:51,048 Yeah. 516 00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:52,093 Not only is he unique. 517 00:21:52,223 --> 00:21:53,224 Everyone looks so dull. 518 00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,138 Right. 519 00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:56,402 Perestroika, come on. 520 00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:57,881 Battle of wits with John Oliver. 521 00:21:58,012 --> 00:21:58,839 - Good. - I will say a number-- 522 00:21:58,969 --> 00:22:00,449 Touché. 523 00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:03,626 and you have to say a number that is, um, higher. 524 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:04,540 OK. 525 00:22:04,671 --> 00:22:05,498 A million. 526 00:22:05,628 --> 00:22:06,542 A million five. 527 00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:15,812 This closet theater is, um, that 528 00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:17,945 I'm a guy considering cross-dressing 529 00:22:18,075 --> 00:22:18,989 for the first time in my life. 530 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,774 OK. 531 00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:24,995 But as the legend has it, when you're about to cross dress, 532 00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:31,393 sometimes a, um-- a little British guy comes up and has 533 00:22:31,524 --> 00:22:32,829 tons of paperwork for you. 534 00:22:41,011 --> 00:22:42,143 Now that's a great choice. 535 00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:43,666 That's a great choice. 536 00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:45,189 I love that. - Yeah? 537 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,104 I had my own that before, but it wouldn't fit me. 538 00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:48,367 That would fit you a dream. 539 00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:49,542 Oh, that's great. 540 00:22:49,672 --> 00:22:51,282 Yeah, I think I'm gonna put it on. 541 00:22:51,413 --> 00:22:52,936 OK, before you do that, I've just got a couple of things 542 00:22:53,067 --> 00:22:54,460 to run past you. 543 00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:56,157 You know what? I'll-- I'm just gonna wear-- 544 00:22:56,287 --> 00:22:57,027 Bup-bup-bup. 545 00:22:57,158 --> 00:22:58,202 John. 546 00:22:58,333 --> 00:22:59,247 Mike. 547 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:00,814 Thank you so much for coming. 548 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,468 You're welcome. 549 00:23:02,598 --> 00:23:04,295 I'm out of questions, but I'm a huge fan of yours-- 550 00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:05,514 Thank you. 551 00:23:05,645 --> 00:23:06,689 and I think you're really funny. 552 00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:07,603 And congrats on all your success. 553 00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:08,778 Thanks, yeah. You too. 554 00:23:08,909 --> 00:23:09,692 And thanks for taking this time. 555 00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:10,693 You're welcome. 556 00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:11,738 OK. 557 00:23:15,655 --> 00:23:17,613 Thanks. 558 00:23:17,744 --> 00:23:18,658 OK? 559 00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:28,015 Was that OK? 560 00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:29,059 Don't know. 561 00:23:32,802 --> 00:23:37,154 Is it-- more like that? 562 00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:40,593 That was better. 563 00:23:40,723 --> 00:23:42,682 Oh yeah. 38342

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