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My name is Janessa Slater
and I'm a media coach
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00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,355
who's helped hundreds of bands.
3
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:10,140
This is Sound Advice.
4
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:14,231
Nick Jonas, is your first
name short for Nickelodeon.
5
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,103
No, no, it's not.
6
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:19,019
I'm sorry, Nick Junior.
7
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:23,153
No, no, it's just-- it's
just short for Nicholas Jonas.
8
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,024
Yeah.
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00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:24,937
I'm face.
10
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,464
No, it's just Nick,
just Nick Jonas.
11
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,595
It's all I got.
12
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:32,641
Do you remember
Face though from--
13
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:33,555
I do.
14
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:34,947
Yeah.
15
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,993
Maybe a little bit
before my time, but--
16
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,299
It's before my time too.
17
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,779
Yeah.
18
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,826
So one of your new
songs is titled "Jealous"
19
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,133
and I feel like people
must have a lot of sympathy
20
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,396
for someone who's dating
a former Miss Universe.
21
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,310
Yeah.
22
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,746
Yeah.
23
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,182
Look, I think the great
thing about the song
24
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:54,054
is that anyone in their
relationship, anyone,
25
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,621
whatever it is, can
relate to feeling jealous
26
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:57,883
at some point in their life.
27
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:01,278
So "Chains," you
know, "Jealous," I
28
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,976
like that your song
titles are one word long.
29
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:07,110
You know I kind of wish that
your songs were one word long.
30
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,546
Yeah, that's-- I mean, wow.
31
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:09,721
One word long, why?
32
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,854
I mean I just
feel like it gets
33
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:15,205
the point out without like all
the boring stuff, you know?
34
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:17,294
Like the whole song
being the boring part.
35
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:18,208
Yeah.
36
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,122
Interesting.
37
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,603
For example, chains.
38
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:22,560
And that's it.
39
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:23,431
That's the whole song.
40
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,823
That's the whole thing.
41
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:28,523
Or for Jealous, it
could just be Jealous.
42
00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:31,221
Yeah, it's really
terrible advice.
43
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,615
But the Miss Universe thing
it's like bullshit, right?
44
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,966
Because like I mean have you
seen "Guardians of the Galaxy"?
45
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,141
How does that connect?
46
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,925
I just feel like
there's no way
47
00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:41,753
that your girlfriend is hotter
than like those blue and green
48
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:42,841
ladies.
49
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,539
You know.
50
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:45,844
Let's be real.
51
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,585
Yeah.
52
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:51,067
This is specific taste for the
whole green and blue thing.
53
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,416
I'm not personally into it.
54
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:55,985
But maybe it's for you.
55
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,378
I'm fine.
56
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,814
I mean, I'm not trying
to get you to like
57
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,163
shit talk your girlfriend.
58
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,991
But like
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00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:02,905
She's great.
60
00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:03,993
Yeah, she's great.
61
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:04,863
Right?
62
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:05,821
Yeah.
63
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:06,735
Yeah.
64
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,216
Miss Youna Don't.
65
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,218
So I see you're
releasing a collection
66
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,828
of Thanksgiving songs?
67
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:15,570
No, no, I--
68
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,006
that's not happening.
69
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,270
But you have an album
coming out in November.
70
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,229
Yeah, I mean, a lot
happens in November
71
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:23,708
that's not necessarily--
72
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,710
I just feel like it's
a missed opportunity.
73
00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:27,495
You know, like, you
could really clean
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00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,236
up on some Thanksgiving jams.
75
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,020
Give me an example.
76
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,589
OK, I'll give you songwriting
credit if it's good.
77
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:37,157
Do, do, do, do, do, do.
78
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:38,070
Turkey.
79
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,595
Do, do, do, do.
80
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,553
Cranberry sauce.
81
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:47,471
Do, do, do, do, do.
82
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:52,433
Pass the bread
and the stuffing.
83
00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:56,132
And all the turkey in
the world is for you.
84
00:02:56,263 --> 00:03:02,269
And you and you and everybody
has some turkey now.
85
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:03,879
This is so bad.
86
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:08,362
So you've dated a lot of
famous ladies in your day.
87
00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:13,410
Have you ever thought of dating
like a famous media coach?
88
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:17,980
And like if you dated her, like
how gently would you date her?
89
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:21,679
And by date, like I'm using that
as a euphemism for something
90
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,551
more adult.
91
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,857
For sex, that's
what you're saying.
92
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:27,511
Well I mean, how
gently would I--
93
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,557
You're not wearing a
promise ring anymore so it's
94
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:32,037
like you broke your promise.
95
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:33,648
No, I've never, I've
never thought about dating
96
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:37,260
a media coach ever.
97
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,261
What?
98
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:39,958
Dating a media coach.
99
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,090
You should have
some of this wine.
100
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,831
It's really good.
101
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:43,962
Where did that come from?
102
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:47,357
How did you-- that was so fast.
103
00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:49,751
It's a pinot, so.
104
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,622
This is getting really
uncomfortable now.
105
00:03:51,753 --> 00:03:55,278
Because I'm sensing
where this is going.
106
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,932
I used to wear a promise
ring too, you know.
107
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:57,802
Did you?
108
00:03:57,933 --> 00:04:00,152
Promise to .
109
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,372
Promise to .
110
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,853
That's one way to put it.
111
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:06,289
A promise to ring.
112
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,686
That's really good.
113
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:12,643
How's that wine?
114
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:13,905
It's so good.
115
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,037
You are drunk now, aren't you?
116
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,256
It's really good.
117
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,822
I mean it's-- might
be ginger ale.
118
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:20,564
But it's very good.
119
00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:21,522
This is awkward.
120
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,791
Man, this place is incredible.
121
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,183
You must be rich.
122
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,707
Thanks, I just got
a really good deal.
123
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:37,755
Did you hear that?
124
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:38,756
No.
125
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,284
What is that?
126
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:47,591
I didn't hear anything.
127
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:49,463
OK.
128
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,116
Yeah, that one I heard.
129
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,770
Uh, what's going on?
130
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:56,774
Look, my
house is haunted.
131
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:57,688
It's like haunted-ish.
132
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,125
What?
133
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,001
It used to be the
home of a doctor
134
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,829
and his wife in the '20s.
135
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,614
He used to perform unnecessary
surgeries on his patients
136
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,617
in the basement.
137
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:16,228
But did you see the backyard,
there's a stone patio.
138
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:20,798
Uh, maybe we shouldn't, uh--
139
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,887
I don't think it's--
140
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,716
look, there's
like ghosts and screaming.
141
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,675
Yeah, and like an
awesome kitchen nook.
142
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:31,374
I mean, speaking
of nooks and crannies,
143
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,855
my bra just came
off under my dress.
144
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,213
I think something
touched my foot.
145
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,606
Do you have a cat or--
146
00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:49,914
what was that?
147
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,003
Ugh, the doctor's wife
went insane and killed him
148
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,396
and herself because
he experimented
149
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,137
on their newborn baby.
150
00:05:55,267 --> 00:06:00,229
Speaking of which, I
am down to experiment.
151
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,535
How could you live like this?
152
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,188
Have you seen the
size of this place?
153
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,060
For what I'm paying, I would
gladly live with like 100
154
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:06,888
ghosts and a haunted doll.
155
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,846
Speaking of which,
don't touch that doll.
156
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,811
But you can touch me
any way you want, hmm.
157
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,340
Oh, sweet mother of God!
158
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,081
That's my ex, Carl.
159
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,299
He's possessed.
160
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,388
But don't worry,
he can't come in.
161
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,606
I put salt all around the house.
162
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:30,477
What-- what?
163
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:31,869
Is that a thing?
164
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,741
Don't worry, there's
no salt around here,
165
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:37,353
so you can come in and
out and in and out.
166
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,922
OK, well, that is one heck
of a line, but I need to go.
167
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:41,966
Oh!
168
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:50,061
Why don't
you stop worrying about
169
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,976
the monster under the
bed and start worrying
170
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,717
about the monster in here?
171
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,206
All right, I get it.
172
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:05,381
Let's go downstairs
and call you a cab.
173
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,296
You can leave.
174
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:11,082
Would you just give this to me?
175
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:12,649
No, wait, hang on,
hang on, hang on.
176
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,303
Look, I really like you.
177
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,609
You're super hot.
178
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:16,653
I want to do this.
179
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:19,482
Uh, just give me a second, OK?
180
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:34,366
Now-- now where were we?
181
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,587
Someone was about
to get slimed.
182
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,588
Cool.
183
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,818
I'm part of Schaeffer's Good
Vibes Island Beat Orchestra.
184
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,037
It's actually the best
steel band music school
185
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,778
in the country, so--
186
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,824
Steel band?
187
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,435
Yeah, you know,
like Calypso music?
188
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,481
It's the stuff that's
played by hotel pools
189
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,178
at resorts in the Caribbean.
190
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,396
I've never left the country.
191
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,703
The key is to relax.
192
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,836
Don't worry about the numbers.
193
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,403
Don't worry about what
other people are thinking.
194
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:12,448
Don't worry.
195
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:15,669
Be happy.
196
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:19,499
What's this?
197
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,940
5 and 6 and--
198
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:38,169
Not quite irie, you're rushing.
199
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,562
5 and 6 and--
200
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,392
You're dragging, man.
201
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:47,788
Wait for my cue!
202
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:50,094
Mm.
203
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:52,140
5 and 6 and--
204
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,407
You're rushing or
you're dragging?
205
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,713
- Rushing?
- No.
206
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,323
Dragging?
207
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,106
I'm going to ask you one
more time, you're rushing
208
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:02,846
or you're dragging?
209
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,457
I don't know!
210
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:06,633
There's no such
thing as rushing
211
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:07,677
and dragging in Calypso.
212
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,593
Take it easy, man.
213
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:14,902
Take five-- or six
hours to chill.
214
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:21,212
I push people beyond
what's expected
215
00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:26,783
of them because expectations of
a Calypso band are pretty low.
216
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:28,611
Chill, man, chill!
217
00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:30,482
Can you feel the rhythm?
218
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,267
Can you feel the way
you're not playing
219
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:33,790
like you're feeling the rhythm?
220
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,531
I'm going to be
one of the greats.
221
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,577
And that's going to be taking
up a lot more of my time.
222
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:41,624
And that's why I don't
think we can be together.
223
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,365
That is totally fine.
224
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:46,629
I hate the sound of steel drums.
225
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,850
Seriously, all your songs sound
like dinky little twinkles,
226
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,330
like ding, ding, ding, ding.
227
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,244
Goddammit.
228
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,277
Thank you.
229
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:42,685
The past, the present,
the future with Emily Heller.
230
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:43,947
Hi.
231
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,383
I'm celebrity
psychic Emily Heller.
232
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,733
And I'm here with Olia Showkat.
233
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:47,647
Alia Shawkat.
234
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:50,127
Alia-- OK.
235
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,520
And we're going to
find out what the cards
236
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,261
have to say about her future.
237
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:56,220
Um, do you have any
questions about the process
238
00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:57,439
before we start?
239
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:01,225
Yes, um, just is
it confidential?
240
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,618
Is this private?
241
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:05,621
Right, um, well,
there's cameras, so no.
242
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:06,883
Right.
243
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,450
Generally, no,
when there's cameras.
244
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:09,669
OK.
245
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,758
First
card, eight of cups.
246
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,281
Eight of cups.
247
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:14,674
Yeah, see, this is someone
who's full of regret.
248
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,763
Yeah, that's-- that's me.
249
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,113
So this could
mean that you maybe
250
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,767
were involved in something bad.
251
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:21,811
Right.
252
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:22,856
And now you have to, I guess--
253
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:23,857
Flee the country.
254
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,600
Yeah.
255
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:31,647
So I, um, I brought something.
256
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:32,909
I brought this.
257
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:33,823
Oh.
258
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:35,390
And, um--
259
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,783
Actually, uh--
260
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:37,697
Yeah, I thought maybe
you could touch it
261
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,394
and like get a read from it.
262
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,526
You know, I'm actually not
certified in token reading,
263
00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:42,832
so I don't think I can--
264
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:43,703
Pick it up.
265
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,313
See what happens.
266
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,575
Touch it.
267
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,577
Um--
268
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,100
Feels good, right?
269
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:52,842
Yeah, my reading of that
is that it is awesome.
270
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:54,626
Are we-- we're done with
that part now, I think.
271
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,019
We have more
cards, though, no?
272
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,804
Did you just want me to
know that you have that?
273
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,457
I just thought it was cool.
274
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:00,676
I just wanted-- I mean, I
wanted to see what you saw.
275
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,112
It's great.
276
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,114
If you could, um, put
it away from both of us,
277
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:05,725
that would be really crucial.
278
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:06,638
Somewhere else, OK.
279
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,684
Yeah.
280
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:13,689
I, um, have
to go to the bathroom.
281
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,604
Let's finish the cards first.
282
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,474
That's fair.
283
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,388
Yeah.
284
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,563
I will hold it.
285
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,783
Two of pentacles.
286
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:25,266
So the two of pentacles, he
represents like fun and gaiety
287
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:29,226
and just like trust everyone
in this room and just
288
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:32,316
like no one's going to like
blab or snitch or anything.
289
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:36,190
And you could just actually
tell your secrets, too.
290
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,191
Yeah.
291
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:38,670
I'm not going to do that.
292
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:40,063
That sounds made up.
293
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:41,848
Why-- why
would I make that up?
294
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,153
Like, just so you won't kill me?
295
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,939
Like, I'm not even
worried about that.
296
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,723
I just want to live.
297
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:49,072
The final outcome.
298
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,073
Justice.
299
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,078
Shit.
300
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:58,255
Is there any way
for me to interpret
301
00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:01,389
that as me not going to jail?
302
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:04,522
I mean, if I go out, like,
I'm taking everybody with me.
303
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,437
I'm not going to do
this alone, you know?
304
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:07,743
It's not my fault.
305
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,093
You know-- did I
say final outcome?
306
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,007
Yeah, that's it.
307
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,487
I am such a spaz.
308
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,010
I did not mean final outcome.
309
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,490
I meant the one right
before the final outcome,
310
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:16,839
that is the alternate
universe thing
311
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,232
that's not going to happen.
312
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:21,409
Um, and, uh, you're
going to be really,
313
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,151
I think, happy with the actual--
314
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,587
Are you just
going to pick one?
315
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:29,112
No, the-- the spirit
is guiding me right now.
316
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,679
Oh, that's a good one.
317
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,724
The actual
final outcome.
318
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,857
The sun.
319
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:37,164
Look at that happy
little innocent baby.
320
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:38,252
Oh, man.
321
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,689
Just riding away totally free.
322
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,908
That was close.
323
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:42,952
Yeah.
324
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:43,953
So that-- that's our reading.
325
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,737
You can go head on out and--
326
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,348
Is it OK if I stay just--
327
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,046
I'm just going to stay a
little bit-- a little longer.
328
00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:50,960
That's cool.
329
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,397
That's cool.
330
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:56,487
Um, so did you like kill a dude?
331
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,186
Don't with me.
332
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:06,802
Welcome to
"Above Average" music video.
333
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,775
Where, where,
where is my goat?
334
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,647
I can't find him.
335
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,606
Everywhere I am reminded.
336
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:32,436
I'd do anything to find him.
337
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,787
What if my goat
is drunk at a bar?
338
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,573
What if my goat
was taken to Mars?
339
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,489
What if my goat
smuggled illegals?
340
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:44,405
What if my goat was
attacked by eagles?
341
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:47,147
What if my goat
stopped for a snack?
342
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:50,063
What if my goat
never comes back?
343
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,979
What if my goat ran
away to the circus?
344
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:55,590
What if my goat just
left me on purpose?
345
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,419
Where, where, where is my goat?
346
00:14:58,549 --> 00:14:59,811
I can't find him.
347
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,684
Everywhere I am reminded.
348
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:06,253
I'd do anything to find him.
349
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:09,430
I want him baa-- aa--
350
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,344
ck.
351
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:13,173
Baa-- aa-- --ck.
352
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,610
Baa-- aa-- --ck.
353
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,743
Oh, where, oh,
where could he be?
354
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:21,703
What if my goat was
eaten by a whale?
355
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,532
What if my goat
was taken to jail?
356
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:27,491
What if my goat
went hang gliding?
357
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:30,364
What if my goat
went into hiding?
358
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,193
Goatees remind me of my goat.
359
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:36,065
Big teeth remind me of my goat.
360
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:40,200
Goats remind me of my
goat, remind me of my goat,
361
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,636
remind me of my goat.
362
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:44,552
When I see an old lady,
I'm reminded of my goat.
363
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:47,424
The witty old lady clears
her little granny throat.
364
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,426
The way old ladies
walk and the way old
365
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,559
ladies talk remind
me of my goat.
366
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:53,126
Yeah, remind me of my goat.
367
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:56,085
The smell of goat
cheese makes me cry.
368
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,870
I pray and I pray my
little goat didn't die.
369
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:01,873
It's not that I'm crazy,
I've just got the blues.
370
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,485
You'd be so sad if you
lost your goat, too.
371
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:07,270
Where, where, where is my goat?
372
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:08,663
I can't find him.
373
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:12,101
Everywhere I am reminded.
374
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:15,322
I'd do anything to find him.
375
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:18,281
I want him baa-- aa--
376
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,195
ck.
377
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:22,111
Baa-- aa-- --ck.
378
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,548
Baa-- aa-- --ck.
379
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:27,247
Oh, where, oh,
where could he be?
380
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:30,685
I'll cross through the
desert and over the sea.
381
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:33,601
Anything to have
my goat next to me.
382
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:37,126
I'd take a boat, I'd
take a plane, anything
383
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,998
to see my goat once again.
384
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,870
Where, where, where is my goat?
385
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,567
I can't find him.
386
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:46,527
I just want to see you again,
Everywhere I am reminded.
387
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:49,008
I'd do anything-- I love
you, man--to find him.
388
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,705
You're my best friend.
389
00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:53,186
Where, where, where is my goat?
390
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,709
I can't find him.
391
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:57,712
Everywhere I am reminded.
392
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:01,194
I'd do anything to find him.
393
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,195
I want him baa--
394
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:03,805
Where?
395
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:06,155
I want to see my goat once
again, my goat once again.
396
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:07,069
Where?
397
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,679
Where?
398
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:12,814
I want to see my goat once
again, my goat once again.
399
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,424
I want him baa--
400
00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:19,690
I want to see my goat once
again, my goat once again.
401
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:23,346
To see my goat once
again, my goat once again.
402
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,652
My goat once again.
403
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,219
Anything.
404
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,351
I want to see my goat
once again, to see my goat
405
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,092
once again, my goat once again.
406
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:31,398
To see my goat once again--
407
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:35,445
my goat once again.
408
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:55,378
Hey, Duffy?
409
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,510
- Yeah?
- Wake up.
410
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,424
What day is it?
411
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,643
Uh, it's day five.
412
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:00,688
No, in the real world.
413
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,864
Uh, Sunday.
414
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:04,779
Sunday, Sunday.
415
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,129
Would you mind waking up
my ex-husband so he could
416
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,913
spend the day with his son?
417
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:09,784
Sunday.
418
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,438
Sunday's with Jake.
419
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:12,395
Jake.
420
00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:13,440
Jake!
421
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,705
I did not take Jake
out of Sports Camp
422
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:19,794
so he could spend
all day in line.
423
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:23,276
It just so happens that I have
one of the most exciting, one
424
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,582
of the most educational
days planned for Jake
425
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,149
that he'll ever spend.
426
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,933
You'd better because
we're going to be exercising
427
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,413
for the next four hours.
428
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:31,806
We're in training
for a triathlon.
429
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,112
Well, I should hope
so with the amount
430
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,765
of stretching that he's doing.
431
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,637
You should always
stretch, buddy.
432
00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:38,682
Stretching, is key.
433
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:39,596
I'm good.
434
00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:41,337
Your funeral.
435
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:42,904
And-- go!
436
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:51,042
Hey, buddy.
437
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,132
We are going to have some fun.
438
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:56,352
Hey, guys, seriously, no
exception to the 5-minute rule.
439
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,484
What!
440
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:58,615
Absolutely not!
441
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,144
OK, here we go,
here go, ready?
442
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,276
Big shot, big shot,
big shot, big shot!
443
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,190
Let's go, let's go.
444
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,670
Forget about it.
445
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,761
5, 4, 3, 2,
446
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,241
Fun, right?
447
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:16,677
Woo-hoo!
448
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:17,895
OK, let's go.
Here we go.
449
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:18,766
Oh, no.
450
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:19,680
OK, run that way.
451
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,681
Quick step.
452
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:21,551
Go.
453
00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,032
4, 3, 2--
454
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,470
I had a
really fun day today.
455
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,950
Yeah, me too, dad.
456
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,647
I'm glad.
457
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:31,561
Dad!
458
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:32,693
30 seconds!
459
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:38,264
12, 11, [SLOWED
DOWN] 10, 9, 8--
460
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,657
Come on!
461
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,311
Why didn't I stretch?
462
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:43,878
Dad, no, we can do this!
463
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,096
- Nah, save yourself.
- Dad!
464
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,054
Oh, all right.
465
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,360
Yeah.
466
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:48,709
7, 6--
467
00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,145
For the love of God, hurry!
468
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,059
4--
469
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,935
That was awesome!
470
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,328
Thanks.
471
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,417
Stop.
472
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:04,333
Not too shabby.
473
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,770
Don't forget your picture.
474
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,078
Nice.
475
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:13,777
That's my boy right there.
476
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,956
You see that, triplets?
477
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,480
We are never losing
our space in line
478
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:23,047
because this is our destiny!
479
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:24,962
Destiny!
480
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,342
Hi, I'm Charles.
481
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:57,473
What?
482
00:20:57,604 --> 00:21:00,084
I'll be your hangover today.
483
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:05,264
Who is that?
484
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:06,482
That's Greg.
485
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:07,788
You met him at
Wendy's last night.
486
00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:09,180
Wendy's?
487
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,096
No!
488
00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:13,794
Those are underwear.
489
00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:14,708
Welcome to Wendy's.
490
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:16,144
Hi.
491
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,364
Um, can I please have
a chicken sandwich,
492
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:21,018
a red onion, and 100-gram bar?
493
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,630
Sorry, ma'am, we don't
serve any of those things.
494
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,241
Are you as hot as you
sound through the speaker?
495
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,155
No.
496
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,025
That's OK.
497
00:21:28,156 --> 00:21:29,462
Ugly guys work harder.
498
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:37,426
We can still party
like the night never ended.
499
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:41,256
The light has come, but
the night never ended.
500
00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:44,651
Still past late like
life is pretend.
501
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:46,087
And we can--
502
00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:50,047
It's not even in!
503
00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,224
Wherever it is,
it feels great.
504
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,757
You're going to find
it awfully difficult
505
00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:05,019
to stay hydrated today.
506
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:10,024
Well, it's still
a toilet bowl.
507
00:22:10,154 --> 00:22:10,938
Keep going.
508
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:11,982
You'll find it, champ.
509
00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:15,986
Seriously, guy, you got to go.
510
00:22:16,117 --> 00:22:17,597
I just did.
511
00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:19,512
I mean, you have to leave.
512
00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:20,904
Without breakfast?
513
00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:26,475
There you go.
514
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:27,389
Beautiful morning, huh?
515
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:28,259
What?
516
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,696
Oh, god.
517
00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:33,613
Is there orange juice in this?
518
00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:35,092
Shut up, Greg.
519
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:36,093
It's Kreg.
520
00:22:41,403 --> 00:22:43,231
Please, don't Ralph.
521
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,928
Upchuck makes me upchuck.
522
00:22:45,059 --> 00:22:46,147
Well, I'm fine.
523
00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:47,061
OK.
524
00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:48,758
Sh-- sh-- just shut it.
525
00:22:48,889 --> 00:22:49,716
So I was thinking maybe we
could go for-- for a hike?
526
00:22:49,846 --> 00:22:51,065
Shut it.
527
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:52,283
And then we could go to--
528
00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:53,720
Oh, god!
529
00:22:56,984 --> 00:22:57,811
Oh, god!
530
00:22:57,941 --> 00:22:58,725
No!
531
00:22:58,855 --> 00:22:59,726
Oh, god.
532
00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:02,163
I'll hold your hair.
533
00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:04,034
Ow.
534
00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:06,254
Is that a condom?
535
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,342
It's part of one.
536
00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:10,432
Where's the rest of it?
537
00:23:10,563 --> 00:23:11,390
Maybe inside you?
538
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,303
Oh, god!
539
00:23:18,005 --> 00:23:23,271
[breaths heavily] Ugh.
540
00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:27,188
Do you want to meet my mom?
541
00:23:27,318 --> 00:23:29,625
Oh, you got to be kidding me?
542
00:23:29,756 --> 00:23:31,235
Like, seriously?
543
00:23:31,366 --> 00:23:34,891
Yeah, we should
wait a little bit.
35875
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