All language subtitles for The Wet Ones (2021) Wigwolf

Disco Bunny, what kind of movie is this?

We were two cousins born in the same
moment.

I was Kate, the princess, and he was the
prince of cars.

A nameless Mustang 5 .0 auto.

Together every moment.

Together at the disco we was.

Hi, Kate.

Don't you ever want the stars to drag
you into space and put you back in

And then switch around and do a
switcheroo.

And if, just for a moment, you could
feel like you were someone else, for a

moment, and not yourself, just to know
what it's like, for a moment.

Yeah, just for a moment.

Just for a moment, just to feel it once.

What are you talking about, Mustang 5
.0?

Are you taking it out of yourself?

Inside or out?

Yeah, just for a moment.

Just for a moment. Just to feel it warm.

We had these conversations.

It was like we were in and out of each
other.

And then at night, me and Mustang 5 .0.

Here's the gist, guys.

It was a beautiful universe of life.

The ceiling looked like the stars.

And the floors were the stars.

And we died.

And we died.

Oh, Kate, it's just me and you.

I'm the prince and you're the princess.

And we are kings and queens of this
palace.

This magical ocean land.

Always together. We'll never be apart.

And we were never apart.

At first.

The days.

The days were reserved for our favorite
show.

Spicy. Spicy.

It's about the crazy time.

Going on in Manchester.

Spicy.

Okay. Don't you ever wish that Spacey
Capy would leave the TV box and wash

you like a wave and take you out of
yourself and put you back with her just

a moment? If only just to see what it's
like to be Spacey Capy for just a

moment.

I've had enough of this rubbish, cousin.

I've always been more about the disco
and the dancing than being washed away

just a moment.

As long as me and ye will always be
together, cousins, lovers, disco

kings and queens of the midnight
rollers, we'll crush all our enemies

wheels of our roller skates.

Cause can't wear a roller skate.

I'm sorry, chap.

All my cousin's talk of roller skates
brought back terrible memories of a

single night in Whitechapel, London.

What are you doing in my parents' yard,
Emma Bunton?

I'm not Emma Bunton anymore.

I've become one with the forest and the
trees. They call me Woodsy Bunton now.

Murdering and cutting faces off is my
game. And what better face to cut off

the face of the princess who turned her
back on England?

Fuck you, cunts. England turned its back
on me. It doesn't matter, you filthy

little fucklicker.

I'm going to kick you up the pussy with
my razor blade toenail and a female

circumcise you.

You stupid whore.

No.

I'm going to female circumcise your
pussy fast.

God damn it.

I didn't mean to stick it in your
asshole.

I meant to stick it in your pussy hole.

Yeah, I know. You said that already.

It's a shame you're so incompetent. You
can't tell an ass from a pussy.

You're being abusive.

I refuse to engage with you any further.

It was then that I saw that my cousin
was a shadow taking me down. Taking

me down with him. And for the last time,
I laid my cunt upon his headlight as a

kiss goodbye.

And in the morning, I was standing on a
new shore, the Jets go color.

And I was there with my new love, a pink
-haired girl who danced better than my

cousin ever had.

If only I'd be able to anticipate the
tragedy that was about to befall me.

Here I was in the Jets go popples.

All my dreams have come true.

It was like the stars had come down from
the heavens just to wash over me.

And when they pulled away like waves
breaking, they took Kate Middleton away

left someone else behind.

A disco queen.

But as I danced with my lover, it
occurred to me that I was here without

Jake.

What are you doing, Katie? You got some
notions about yourself?

About being the queen of the disco, is
that it? It was always me and you

together. Cars and princesses, bunnies
and rabbits, queens and kings.

Not anymore, cousin.

This thing of ours is dangerous.

The disco is big enough for all of us to
be kings and queens.

Now fly away, little bunny.

I'm setting you free.

Me and you were kings and queens.

You were Kate, and I'm the car.

I will not fly away. We're supposed to
be disco bunnies together, mate.

I'm no longer a bunny. I'm sorry,
cousin.

I am the disco master.

The disco master?

Why are you here?

Now that you are the queen of the disco
and the disco bunnies, you must learn

the disco mantra.

What is it? What's this disco mantra?

Disco is life. Disco is death. Disco is
the stars.

Disco is the earth.

Disco is the wind.

Disco is the fire.

Disco is your friend.

Disco is your enemy.

Disco is life. Disco is death.

You are the disco.

And the disco is you.

She was me cousin and me partner.

Together we'd been bunnies until we were
crowned the king and queen of the

disco.

Have you ever wanted the

stars to wash over you and take you out
of yourself?

And maybe when you came back, you
wouldn't be yourself anymore.

Just for a moment.

You'd be acquainted.

What?

What a terrible movie.

I can't believe you made me watch that.

I'm out of here.

What are you talking about?

glass menagerie, the tale of a broken
girl who's friends with a talking

Well, I'm a crawl -lined roach frog.

I'm like the talking glass unicorn at
the roach head.

You want to watch a movie with me while
I wait for my gentleman caller?

Called The Wet One.

I'm here because I want to know how to
make an authentic fried catfish sandwich

for my sex lover.

I see a cat here.

And I see a southern here.

And I know you two can teach me how to
do it. And I'm not going to take no for

an answer.

Ain't nobody got no time to teach nobody
no.

Catfish sandwiches.

Get out of my face with your voice.

to cut your throat.

Oh, shit, no.

What are we gonna do, yo?

Oh,

me

and everything is alright.

I'll be the one to fuck your butt at
night.

Don't skate with a Katie skate.

You won't skate now like me. What the
devil is going on here?

Who the heck are you?

I'm Katie.

You're the only maniac I see, but if you
want to call me a maniac, I'll become

the maniac I need to be to counter your
mania and kill you.

Suicide and shit.

They say the computer net is a trick of
light

and shadows.

Nothing real.

But what I feel for Vanilla, this
vampire bunny, is very real.

I have no fam, no family.

Vanilla is my fam, our family. When I
see this picture of him with Dorothy

The Wizard of Oz touching her in her
gingham dress.

I want to be in a Gangnam dress, being
touched by him, and hearing him laugh.

Haha, and the cum gang would be there
too.

And my diarrhea is so bad right now. I
have to stand on the rim of the set.

I set a line in my rim and watch Banula.

It's all I have, I guess.

And now I'll take a blade and carve a
bunny face into my wrist.

I carve with the blade carefully into my
wrist.

I will leave the scars of a bunny face.

But unfortunately, my lack of talent.

Prevents things like that. And my
Canadian accent makes it difficult for

communicate. I worry if the diarrhea
from the toilet will splash on my Katy

Perry magazine.

With shit splashed up onto my penis. But
for some reason my penis remains white.

Diarrhea remains brown.

That's right, dude.

What a funny bonnet.

What a funny, funny, funny, funny. What
a funny, funny, funny, funny.

What a funny, funny, funny, funny.

What a funny bunny I saw. Ah, yes.

I do love that bunny.

A voice from across the seas, perhaps.

A friend.

Perhaps a friend until the end for this
sinful sucky bitch.

But is this a voice that's here by its
own consent and choice?

Or did the airwaves kidnap and rape him
over here onto the radios?

Yes, my voice is my choice. I heard Bun
Bun's voice on my radio and

traced the source of the signal across
the oceans and wires and waves.

Well then, welcome to my shitty domain,
friend. You seem like

a real character.

My name is Dr.

AIDS.

Sometimes when one surprise shows up,
like advice from across the web, another

surprise shows up, such as a maniac
chopper.

Take your hotcakes. You're wrong. I
can't believe you chopped my arm off.

nothing ever works out for me.

Well, put it this way. At least I didn't
chop your pussy off. Yeah, I guess so.

Well, have a nice day.

You too.

Let's go, British.

My name isn't British.

It's Professor Dizzy of Whitechapel.

Whatever, asshole.

I can't believe somebody literally
chopped my arm off with a chainsaw.

Oh, my arm. If I wash my arm in my
diarrhea.

Will it be a christening, or a penance,
or a blessing, or whatever that is the

Catholics talk about?

I can't believe I'm lying.

Help, help.

Friend from the radio, please, please
speak to me. Uh, puppy boy, are you

listening? Over there in Denmark.

Oh, my new friend, are you over there
listening?

Please say something.

Nice to meet you, Dr. AIDS.

I am here from Denmark.

If you could hear me.

My name is Puppy Boy.

That's Puppy Boy.

I am a musician.

Do you want to hear a song I make?

When you listen to it, why don't you
take your pussy or your cucka, push it

up against the radio.

You'll feel the vibrations of my voice
in your pussy.

It'll make you have an orgasm, make you
like semen cum. Why don't you do it?

like a pussy fuck.

Put your pussy on the stereo in the
dentist's

creamery or pastry.

You hear that humping melody

that takes your naked pussy

And put this on the speaker and let my
Danish music put in your making

orgasm and make like a comer.

Make like Meg Ryan. My pussy.

I can feel it in my pussy.

You do it because you're pussy and I do
it. Oh, puppy boy.

Can you feel it? Oh, yeah.

In your pussy. My pussy is so wet.

Can you feel it? My backwards front
pussy. It makes it like cum.

It's made like orgasms in Danish words.

I welcome refugees.

I welcome refugees.

I welcome refugees.

I welcome refugees.

I welcome refugees. Of all times.

I welcome refugees.

I welcome refugees.

I welcome refugees.

I'm a refugee.

I'm a refugee.

Take me into your country.

I'm a refugee.

I'm a refugee.

I'm a refugee.

I'm a refugee I'm a refugee

I'm a refugee

And it was in that moment the way this
man comforted me and made my bussy bed

come. After having my arms run off, we
were going to meet. I made the decision

to cross wells and oceans and meet
halfway across the sky at the abandoned

island of Dr. Kete's.

First, I must seek nourishment for Helen
with pepper

that'll dip my hand in that.

Got some good thick tongue

What's

in your lunchbox got sandwiches in
there, what do you got a Frank said a

sandwich a hot dog? Oh wait, that was a
sandwich. This is a Frank. That's a

sandwich. What's in your lunchbox?

What's in your sandwich?

I want to know what's in there. And
don't put mayonnaise in there. You hear

You dead fuck.

You hear me? You dead fuck. I gave you a
chance. You fucking blew it.

The Sandwich Maniac. Keeping your
sandwiches dry five days a week.

Only on TV69.

I'm Whit Dickless.

Greetings,

Lord Ghostia. You may now approach Queen
Goldmeg.

Meg, I come to you as a humbled ghost.

When we voted you to be Queen Chancellor
of the Universe, we trusted you to take

care of everyone.

And by everyone,

I mean my people, the Night Ghosts.

But your failure to listen to my pleas,
and your failure to protect the night

skies and the darkness by neglecting to
enforce laws that would restrict the use

of outdoor lighting after 7 p .m.,
you're taking our darkness away.

The Night Ghosts need the darkness to
live. It's a vitamin.

Life. For you, I must give a vote of no
confidence and no longer recognize

you as queen.

If only I could get wet enough to slip
away and leave this lame world.

Is that all you can say?

Talk about getting wet, slipping away,
and leaving this

world? My people don't have to get wet
to leave this world.

They'll leave her because you starved
them of the darkness!

You're pathetic!

Look, I thought we were going to try
diplomacy this time.

You're such a lame asshole, Gold Mag.

Did I do

that? White Urkel, you got poop all over
my face.

Oopsies.

Yes, I should have the pen, but now the
ice cream.

I'm lactose intolerant. I hate you,
White Urkel.

Mm.

Katie. What do you want, cum scientist?

It's been brought to my attention that
you committed an unsanctioned killing

today. You have violated Code 4453X4 of
the Cum King's

Code of Honor and Behaviour. You are
going to get a demerit, Katie.

Okay? Good.

Okay,

KT, but I don't appreciate this
diversion from serious talk.

Like, is there some weird reason why you
made it your life's mission to bring

drama to the fucking porch?

Katie, you're being abusive.

Stop it.

I've told you about this. You're being
mean.

Fuck off, cum scientist.

Fuck off. You walk in here like you're
fucking Titanic Sinclair or something.

Let me tell you something. You are like
Titanic Sinclair. Because Titanic

Sinclair...

What are you talking about, Katie? I
don't even know who Titanic Sinclair is.

No worries. Why don't we kiss wieners on
it?

Sure, I'll kiss your wiener.

Thank you.

I'm not kissing your cat wiener. I don't
want to get barbs in my mouth.

Yeah, what about my wiener?

You know, I don't want to kiss an
uncircumcised wiener either, you

you. Yeah, whatever, yeah. Anyway, you
was right about tattoos and clit. That

motherfucker can pose in pieces for all
the assholes.

Yeah, that is fucking nice.

Yes, KT, I think.

Even with all of our differences, we can
agree that Titanic Sinclair is just a

little stupid piece of shit. He's pretty
much very cringe and embarrassing.

If he released an album, I'd probably
take a crap on it.

Ha! That's pretty funny.

I guess.

What? They think they can talk about
Titanic Sinclair like this?

My music is not up the asshole music.
It's brilliant.

Anyway, Katie, it's Tuesday night, so
you have more ditty. Okay!

This place is a mess, but when it's
clean, we can start a big disco

party!

What do you think, Dr. AIDS, my friend?

Unfortunately.

My dick -lessity does not allow me to
dunk.

If you can't dance, you can be the DJ.

Hurry up. I'm Disco Danny.

It's cool you cats are crashing at the
Doctor of Kitties Padman.

Man, that Doctor of Kitties was one foul
creature.

Tell us about this Doctor of Kitties
person.

Who is he? Why is he significant?

Huh? He has disco friends.

Tell me what Doctor of Kids is.

He's so important, guy.

Huh? What?

Okay, man, I will.

Wow,

disco, Donnie. I always pictured Doctor
of... pities to be handsome -er, even

though his face is on the wall and I
know what he looks like. I guess he's

handsome. The images in Disco Danny's
brain take on a brain of their own,

Blythe. Could I kiss you off your
asshole?

I don't want that Brady Bunch mouth
anywhere near my pooping tools.

What? You crazy, Disco Danny?

What's that Brady Bunch about my mouth
anyway?

I don't know, man. It's all twisted up
like Jan's brains, man.

I'm outta here. Catch you creeps later.

What is it, my dear?

I don't know.

It's just like, it's also empty and
weird inside sometimes.

It's like I'm totally starving, but it's
in my shitty heart, you know? I don't

know. Sometimes I feel the same as if
it's this faith of mine for my dickwood

be forever dry pussy contact.

What are you, scared of something?

Ha? Scared of life?

No, I'm not fucking scared.

It's just like what Puppyboy said.

The dry pussy?

I had a fever dream about a dry pussy
once.

See, I was stuck in a giant dry pussy,
and a spider was crawling down the

So I knew if I was wet enough, I could
have gotten unstuck from that pussy wall

and slipped away.

Look on the TV!

It's Goldman!

If only I could get wet enough to slip
away and leave this lame world.

If only I could get wet enough to slip
away and leave this lame world.

Yeah, take my wetness now!

I can feel it.

I can feel myself slipping away into
another well.

I'm wet.

I'm wet.

You gave me your wetness.

Yes, we are wet together.

Our wetness rubbing all the

wetness.

It's there.

We're going to wetness.

It's changing me.

Doctor in.

You look different.

My arm, my arm is back.

And I have this bunny tattoo on my
chest.

In the midst of our lightning, that's a
video from Bunyala Cam.

Hello, this is Bunyala.

Dr.

Aids, when I got your fan letter, I was
at a loss for words.

I'd never gotten so much love before in
my life, not even from my parents.

And I thought I would send a letter
back.

But I didn't think a letter would be
special enough.

So here is a song I wrote for you, Dr.
Aid.

If I gave you a

Pepsi, am I emotionally

disturbed?

Drink my milk.

We will trust.

Get in here.

we

You gave me your trust.

Hold my hand

and blow up me.

Not even for my parents.

And gave me... Real love.

Oh my god!

Dr. Ed!

Don't you like standing with a video up
here and no bathroom walls?

It was time to turn the clock back
somewhat.

And get things in order.

You see, the reason this video came from
Vanilla Ken.

It's because months earlier, I had a
dream of my wetness.

And in the dream, I had sent him a phone
letter.

But apparently, he had received it in
the real world.

And I was there with him, and I was wet.

Oh, he read it.

What an interesting fan letter.

It seems so wet and greasy, but also so
heartfelt.

I was feeling so depressed until I got
this letter from Dr. AIDS.

Dr. AIDS, eh?

I know that creep.

What? What are you talking about, Danny?
Why are you even in my house?

Let me tell you something about Dr.

AIDS. He's got some wet crap all over
his fingers.

I wouldn't want to touch it.

Just saying.

Get the fuck out of my house, Danny.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Vanilla, what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong, Princess Di.

Just Danny was here fucking around.

I was trying to read an awesome fan
letter I got.

Hmm, let me see.

It's got some sticky stuff on it. Is
this common? I don't know. Who knows?

better write them back. I always
appreciate my fans.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention.

Jackie O came by earlier looking for
you.

Goddammit, Jagio, what the hell does she
want?

Oh, Princess Jasmine, Jagio from
Massachusetts.

Oh, and

Delia, what are you talking about,
Jagio?

Those haven't been around for like 40
years.

Thank you.

That was weird.

I know I belong here. I know I do.

I once heard that a weed is just a plant
that hasn't had a place.

But this, this is my place!

Fucking ding -dong!

nights of my life. Little did I know
everything would change later that

But first, the Ripper's head.

Katie, did you bring the s'mores for
tonight's games?

S'mores? What? Ew.

No, s'mores are totally fucking lame.

It's your job.

You are head of the snack committee of
the cutting gang.

What the fuck is wrong with you, Katie?
It seems like you're always

disappointing me.

First, unflinching murder.

Then your little attitude earlier.

I'm Seriously thinking of expelling it
from the come again, okay?

Dude, chill the fuck out. I didn't
forget to bring snacks, but I brought

something way better than s'mores. See,
I brought McDonald's hotcakes for

everyone. Well,

KJ, I guess I was wrong about you.

McDonald's hotcakes are better than
s'mores.

The Ripper's Head, and you know the
rules.

Wait, what do you mean, rules?

Isn't there rules that there are no
rules?

Yes, Katie, that's what I was going to
say before you interrupted me.

Shut up, con scientist.

Let's just get started. Lower the
Ripper's Head, meow.

Hey, governor, welcome to the Ripper's
Head, a game of riddles and daring where

neither the faint -hearted nor the Irish
need apply.

Kelly's pussy up? Did I hide a pot of
porridge inside of her? Or did I eat the

porridge? What?

Was it Stephen Webber? If you don't want
to play by the rules of the Ripper's

head, then you'll be the one whose head
is taken.

It was Tom, not Tom.

On that episode in the Brady Bunch when
Greg hit Marsha in the nose with a

football, did the football call Greg a
filthy name?

Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit!

You're ruining the game, right?

Tito, he's not ruining the game.

I see your titties, Katy Perry.

What?

How can he see my titties? Is he alive?

I thought he was just a game.

Come on, Tito. You're starting to talk
just like Jackie O.

I hope you got what you got.

no one's as much of an asshole as
titanics and claw

I encountered many terrifying
experiences, but I never expected a day

encounter a man who operated under angry
purposes and intent.

Three times, Mr.

Colonial, you may now approach Queen
Goldmed.

as I watched Meg once again use her
destructive

powers to destroy someone.

I knew that I could no longer be homies
with her.

I was going to have to look in the back
of the village voice and see if there

were any job listings.

It sucked.

But I couldn't be with somebody who was
always destroying people.

You can't just destroy people.

You can't do that.

That kind of stuff wasn't good.

You know, I came to that realization
right then.

I guess, standing there watching this
person be destroyed.

Their blood coming out.

I couldn't face this stuff anymore.

Coming into work every day.

working for a queen who was always
destroying people.

You know, I thought to myself, you can't
do this anymore, Lord, help

me in.

So I decided I was going to put my two
weeks notice in later that day.

I didn't really have a choice, I guess.

Yeah,

Yeah, it was hard.

I didn't know how I was going to pay my
rent.

You know, just trying to think about
stuff.

And like, I don't know, shit gets fucked
up sometimes, you know?

Yeah.

Alright.

Why did that man behave with the spirit
of anger in his heart?

What was wrong with him?

For corn's sake, White Urkel, why are
you all covered in blood? Because you're

always so mean to me, so I killed
myself.

Come on, White Urkel.

You ain't had to kill yourself like
that.

I'm talking about serialized
storytelling.

There's no storytelling at all in this
show.

It's just a bunch of nonsense.

Pettys and cats yowing.

Fuck off, Pitty Cougar.

You're clearly not smart enough to
understand Summer Girl's Princess Di.

I guess the teachers at Oxford did a
crappy job at teaching you about film

art and culture.

This isn't co -sign, you idiot!

It's crap!

It's utter crap!

I'm not watching this show anymore.

Whatever. You always make us watch that
shitty Sherlock Holmes show.

It's not fair.

When there's no titty fucking on
Sherlock Holmes, I can tell you that's

life.

Whatever.

It's a tie.

for dealing with Franken -bibs. What an
orthodox method!

You cowardice! You ran away.

You are no longer a part of the Space
Confederation.

Give us your babies now.

No!

You came. Never thought you'd be a
coward.

You came up on the streets of space
together.

You disgraced the streets of space.

I don't fucking want this place.

Maybe you should change your name to Per
Sanchez because you're not anything

anymore. You're not a pop star.

I took that from you.

What the fuck? You killed all my
friends.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Titanics and Cloud Gang begin to laugh.

for you.

No one fucks with Titanic Sinclair.

The worst mistake you ever made was
picking a member of the Sinclair family.

Go on with your life or whatever life I
left you with.

Alright?

something else.

Calm down, Crawline. Please.

Maybe you should go outside and get some
fresh air.

Let me tell you this, please.

Don't make me go outside. People look at
me and they were like, she is not a

roach.

I don't think the world. I just need Dr.
Hintz and Mrs. Tarly.

I can't talk to you anymore, Crawline.
I'm sorry.

My wife said you are a crappy person and
you have to leave me alone.

Let me tell you something.

Let's party!

and he would come.

Yes. This is going to be the greatest
disco party ever.

And I know that Bon Iver will come when
he gets our wet invitation.

I can never get that out of my head. I
can never.

I don't want to think about anything but
the future.

But bring me to a time.

Take me to a place where I can go.

I didn't know how to read that.

From the fact that it's haunting me.

I can never get them out of my head. I
can never.

I don't want to think about a thing but
the future.

The future is hard. The future is hard.

The future is hard.

Take me to the future. Take me to the
future, baby. Take me to the future.

Take me to the future.

Take me to the future.

Oh, wow.

I'm caught in a trap.

I can't walk out.

Because I love you too much, baby.

What did you see?

What you doing to me?

When you don't believe us.

We can go on together with suspicious

minds. With suspicious minds. And we can
build our

dreams on suspicious minds.

Can't do anything.

We're cool.

And celebrities like Banyula will come
here. When you were at the lab, no one

come here except your experiment.

He's not true.

Banyula get out of there or he will
come.

He thinks we are cool.

Yuck. Yuck. What the hell? What in the
name of Tibby and Snugadoo is this

letter? Dear Bonula, you are invited to
a disco at the lab.

Ugh. What the fuck?

Why is it so wet?

Hmm. Ugh.

Why is this letter wet? Ugh.

Hmm.

What a strange letter.

The lab?

Whose lab?

What's the lab?

This person who runs the lab seems to
think it's okay to send people wet

letters.

But what's making these wetters wet?

Wetters wet?

Why did you say wetters wet? It's the
letter. The letter is wet. I don't care.

Whoever this lab person is, they can't
just send out wet, cummy letters like

this. I'm not coming to any disco at any
lab.

What kind of loser lives in the lab?

The lab. Are they a scientist? A nerd?

A nerd scientist?

Hmm. I'm too famous for losers with
labs.

Hmm. Yes.

Labs are for licky licks.

I'd just be an old kitty, and what do I
know anyways?

But just because some old bunny says
your fingers smell bad, ain't any reason

go off on yourself.

Wash your hands and start over!

But just be sure to stick your paw up,
you asshole, to clean any of that shit

that's hiding up in there.

I'll just usually take a shower head and
I'll spray it right up my asshole until

the water runs clean of any corn or
bones.

Well, I could help you guys.

My cousin's son is a famous TV
superstar, and he's looking for some new

assistants. They call him the Sandwich
Maniac. You interested?

Well, I don't know hide nor hair about
wetness and genital warts. But the

I get my dirty old ass home, I'm going
to get my Rolodex out and call that

cousin of mine. And you have my word.
You guys will be working for the

Maniac this time next week.

And you can take that to the bank.

today, even though it's cloudy.

I hope that asshole Kay Krueger doesn't
come bother us today.

I really need to work on my tan before
the bikini contest at the pool.

Which pool?

This pool, Katie.

Who's the judge?

You. Oh, well.

Well, you're a motorcycle and a hot guy
at the same time?

Yes.

I'm Joe Motor, and I want to take over
the pool for myself.

You can't take over the pool. It's our
pool, and we're the summer girls.

Yum, yum, yum. You should take over the
pool.

This place is a health hazard.

A motorcycle might just be what this
place needs.

I'm Joe Motor, and I do whatever I want,
because I'm a motorcycle.

You're a stupid cat, and the rest of you
are a bunch of girls in bikinis. And I

don't have time to deal with nonsense
like this.

I'm Joe Motor. Whatever, Joe Motor.

Get a life.

We already have a resident loser, and
that's Kitty Krueger.

Fuck you!

I'm Joe Motor. I'm going to use my wheel
to rip your tits apart.

Take this.

He can be a part of it.

unwarranted. We feel we have a lot to
offer you if you're willing to become a

part of the Pierce and Stamos family.

Yes, kind of. It would be so cool to
have you be a part of the family.

Yes.

Katie, as the patriarch of the Pierce
and Stamos family, we want to adopt you

into our gang.

portrait of your friends Meow -a and
Luther.

It's okay. It's not your fault, okay?
Get up.

Come on, get up. Get up.

I can't. I can't go on anymore.

What's the point? It feels like, like,
what's the point anymore?

What's the point? The point, Katie, is
that when life throws you something bad,

sometimes, you know, it's time to throw
down with life.

That's right.

wanting to join the Pierce and Stamos
gang, we have a present for you.

A giant cannon.

Cut!

Titanic Sinclair, sir.

But how can you be so cavalier in your
attitude when you know that Katy Perry

is going to come for you?

Because Sinclair bought 69, I'd laugh at
Katy Perry's revenge.

I'm Titanic Sinclair!

I'm Titanic Sinclair!

I question whatever I want to question,
homeslide.

Oh, don't be making a stink face at me,
man.

I'm not making a stink face.

This is what my face always looks like.
This is just my Titanic Sinclair.

I stabbed your asshole home slice, and
that's one doodle

that can't be undeadled. After that
wound healed, You're gonna be a scar

your anus And every time you poop It's
going to hurt And you'll always know It

was because of me This one and only
Hector Honduras

Even got this vintage windbreaker from
it.

Sir, I am very disturbed by your
cavalier attitude today.

Beep, beep, boop, bop, bop, beep, beep.
You are careless today, sir.

Warning, warning.

Stop being so annoying, Sinclairbot69.

I have less than zero interest in your
opinions.

I am Titanic.

Yeah, no boss.

We discard the pony king.

He's going to teach you a lot about dry
sandwiches to pay attention, okay?

Wow, sir. Hey, Riley Locks, the sandwich
is dry.

Yes, and you guys, you better keep the
sandwiches dry for me, and that's all

you're gonna do. You do that, we solid,
all right? Just do that, okay?

Sir.

Yes, sir.

I want to know, sir, does anyone
actually like wet sandwiches?

To tell the truth, Puppyboy, there's
only one maniac I know that could eat a

sandwich wet. This bunny right here,
Bunyor. He's a real punk.

In a twerp. Yeah, I know.

Bunyala, I should have known.

If anyone would want a wet sandwich, it
would be that furball.

What is wrong, my love?

This sandwich is so dumb, puppy boy.

You need to do better, fam.

If sandwich Maniac had seen this, it
would have been over for us.

Okay, my love.

Baby, it's me, Jimmy Dino. Scooby -Doo
-ba -ba -ba -ah.

Come with me to California.

We're gonna create some cinema with no
rules.

Just a camera out in the desert. Nothing
else but me and you. We won't film

anything what isn't real.

I can tell you're the kind of person who
feels things the way I do.

You feel in color.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, John John.

I'd love to go with you, but I can't
abandon my little puppet boy.

It's okay, my love.

You can go.

I don't mind that you follow your true
love.

I will be alone, but that's okay.

No, I'm sorry I've died on.

I can't die.

I can dig it, but if you ever want to
come with Jimmy Dino and stretch our

artistic imaginations to the limit, of
the universe and of art and creativity,

you better give me a phone call.

Scooby -Doo -Bop -Bop.

Now I'm about to get into my Porsche and
drive off into the sunset while

listening to recordings of heart cream.

Yeah.

I'd like to welcome Vanilla to the show.

How's it going?

Fine. So tell me, so tell me about what
uses up to these things.

Feed with twice.

And keep it dry. Why should I keep it
dry?

I'm sick of walking on eggshells for
people like you. Trying to eat a ham

sandwich with dry white wonder bread.

In public.

While in my bathroom.

I'm having mayonnaise and -

No longer a relevant entertainer at this
point in time.

Okay, you went a little too far there.

Whatever. Bye.

I'm out of here.

What a real jerk.

What happened, sir?

Yes, my sir.

What has made you so sad, my sir?

Oh, it's nothing, you guys.

I wasn't even crying tears of...

as a present for you guys, actually.

But as a present, sir, we'll check it
out, guys.

I had shirts made of you guys.

Thought it would be funny to call you
the wet ones.

Because you keep my sandwiches so dry,
so it's like different than what it is,

so it's funny.

Well, sir, sir, I love my shirt.

You're too good to me, sir.

See, the thing is, there's some bad
bunnies out in this world.

And they have a wetness about them.

It's a filth in their fur, sebum oil,
with fecal matters dripping and leaving

marks on every seat they take. That
wetness gets into the clouds.

Maybe it's always there, kind of
bullying you in tiny ways.

But then I thought of you guys.

You're the dryness.

You take all the wetness into you, and
you make it go away.

But you did it to protect everyone else
from the wetness. You truly are the wet

ones. Yes, we are the wet ones.

The wet ones. We are the wet ones.

Yes, my sir.

We are the wet ones.

Maybe I should get a shirt made for
myself.

Because together I think all three of us
are the wet ones.

Yes, sir.

I'm out of here.

Did you guys hear something?

No.

Remember at the end of The Talented Mr.

Ripley?

When Matt Damon is like, wouldn't it be
better to be a fake somebody?

To be a fake nobody.

And a real somebody.

There was a time I was fat and going to
film school.

And I made a short film.

A film that nobody liked.

A film that destroyed my dreams.

And that's that kind of craziness. The
devil sides his trade.

He was once a rock star.

Come on. Come on.

I wouldn't look it. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

You don't understand.

This is the voice. It's the voice of
Elvis.

Come on, Elvis.

Oh, nonsense.

Nah.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

I wasn't fat anymore.

And I had new dreams.

A revenge dream.

But first, I needed to visit my
homegirl, Joan of Arc.

Yo, Katie.

What you want, home?

I'm not Katie, home.

but you want to fuck somebody's shit up,
that's the kind of weapon you want.

Fuck that shit, Joan of Arc.

I want something more intimate and shit.
I want to get in close and up into this

motherfucker's pussy.

Cut that shit out.

So the only place left to fuck him is
his mouth. And that's when I put the gun

in his mouth.

Yo, Trey, you be mad and break me and
shit.

be a psychic and shit?

That'll do it. Thank home.

That's the shit they used to kill
Dracula and shit.

Had it imported from Serbia last week.

Yo, Joan of Arc, you seem that cool.

How come you never had no babies in a
family?

It's Phil!

of TV 69 3 o 'clock news.

If anyone could tell me where Titanic's
been clear with hiding, it would be him.

Hey,

home flies.

This is Hector Cartwright of the TV 69 3
o 'clock news.

The police have just issued a scary
warning.

The maniac... criminal noticed Titanic
Sinclair has been spotted hanging out in

front of the blood room.

A bar so trendy that they test your
blood at the door just to make sure you

AIDS.

The captain of the police is advising
all citizens to stay away from the blood

room until further notice.

Because if you get stabbed in the dim by
Titanic Sinclair, that's one diddle you

can't un -diddle, home size.

I'm Hector Cartwright for TV69.

Have a great night.

So that was it.

Titanic's been clear of hiding at the
blood room.

And that's where I would go to find him
and get my revenge.

The time for dreaming is over.

If you're out there, Dr. A, I want you
to hear this.

Consider this my bongo serenade without
the bongos.

Love you.

Come to me.

Vampire moves out of the bedroom.

There's a free twin bed with clean
sheets waiting for you in California.

Come with me.

I'm Jimmy Dino.

Yeah.

This is Silverfish, and it's time to put
those silvery glasses on, you know?

That's how it is, because it's a silvery
day, right?

Listen.

Ten years ago, I was lying in the wreck
of a Corvette wrapped around a tree, you

know. I hit rock bottom.

My wife left me.

I didn't have a car.

But then I came up with the silverfish
method.

It's easy.

It's three steps.

Slip and slither up and down the drains
and around the toilet.

Got it?

You wake up every day.

Slip and slither out of a drain.

and crawl around a toilet, right? You
won't notice the differences right away.

It's subtle and incremental and like,
man, I'm telling you, it's going to

happen. Make one small positive change
in a silvery and fishy way every day

like a goal and be creepy and
disgusting.

Crawl around and you'll achieve what you
want out of life.

I'm Silverfish.

Please go to silverfish .com to join the
Silverfish Method Program.

It's only $500 a month, and you will
receive a box of cassette tapes each

full of my motivational speeches.

For an extra $600 a month, I can provide
you with a silverfish meal plan. We'll

send you enough prepackaged meals to
last you all week based on my personal

silverfish diet.

An eating philosophy based around
toilets, piss, and shit nutrition.

It's all vegan, artesian, and gluten
-free.

Anyway. Bye

Eat

nothing quite like a dry sandwich

Take mayo off my cock, you little
sandwich guy.

What? No!

Leave me alone, Agent Stone!

I've watched your show every day for the
last 15 years.

And every day...

I told myself that one day I was going
to make you face your fear of mayo.

This day has been a long time in the
making, Mr. Maniac.

Prepare for leakage.

Let the creaminess flow.

What's going on? What are we going to
do, Dr. Ed?

We need to save our boss!

I don't think I can put mayonnaise on ye
mouth!

I don't know what to do.

Puppyboy has dandruff and has a cock.

Look at his cock!

Not until he licks mayonnaise off of two
of Megs.

That's Reptards.

Reptards have come to the side of the
door.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

You're a coward, Fleance, Dr. AIDS.

You didn't help me.

Ripcharge had to come and save the day.

I'm sorry,

boss. I'm not a person of violence.

You're mad because I'm not a person of
violence.

Yes, boss.

You're not being fair to Dr. AIDS,
Fleance. She is not a...

Yes, she is not one of violence like I
am. And I am not a violent either. We

not a violent.

Violent, smiling.

Coward's a coward.

They didn't call him the cowardly lion
for nothing.

That ripped hat.

Yeah. You hurt my cock, you psycho.

the blood room. But I knew Titanic
Sinclair wouldn't just be resting on his

laurels waiting for me to show up.

Hi. One admission, please, to the dance.

I'm sorry, y 'all. I got explicit
instructions from Mr. Sinclair to not

Katy Perry in here, y 'all. I'm sorry, y
'all. God damn it. What the hell am I

supposed to do now?

Hey, why are you guys falling over? And
it was then that I realized the blood

room was in the slime district in the
perfect disguise.

We're great before now.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Who are y 'all?

I'd like one admission to the blood
room, please.

What's your name, y 'all?

It's...

Flippin' Slime, y 'all. That's a cool
name, y 'all. Of course, enter the Blood

Room. Titanic Sinclair and his band, the
Sinclarions, are playing the song

Sinclair right now.

So you came at the right time, y 'all.
Um, thank you, thank you. And it was

that I fooled the bouncer in the
disguise of Slimerion.

Plan B.

Oh, yeah?

And what's that?

Huh? What kind of Plan B would you have?

More like Plan C for Chopper!

I get you.

Chopper's here.

Chopper. Chopper.

Chopper. Chopper. Chopper.

Chopper. Chopper.

Chopper. Chopper.

Chopper.

I always thought you guys were cool, and
then I heard you making fun of my

music! And this is what happened!

You tried to stop me from dreaming!

You will never stop me from dreaming
again! Because I'm Titanic Sinclair!

I can cradle you now.

Like a baby!

I think I have a better idea.

A more Titanic idea.

Titanic Sinclair was driving

me to an unknown fate, but it didn't
matter.

I was bleeding to death. It was over for
me.

So I started to dream about the crazy
things that people dream about when they

die. I saw Mummy Cougar.

And he was making a movie that I wrote.

It was called The Come Ones.

And he was practicing the script for me.

It was the final scene where his
character was confronted and being

all his bad deeds.

You think I'm a bad cougar, don't you,
Kate?

Well, you shouldn't assume to know a
damn thing about me. You don't know

how my cougar daddy left me in the
streets when I was just a kitty.

You don't know about this white couple
that found me, Jack and Rebecca.

They raised me up like I was just one of
their own.

Never acted like I was any different
from my obese sister.

And then one day, me and my daddy were
in the bathroom combing ourselves, and I

said, Daddy, how come I look like a
cougar and you look like a big Italian?

And my daddy said, Son, when I look at
you, I don't see a cougar.

I see one of my own children.

But you be what you want to be.

Be a mummy for all I care.

I'll always love you.

Well, that day I wrapped myself in
bandages and I became a mummy.

And I fuck whoever I want to fuck.

And I don't care what some sad old
princess thinks about that. You pull the

trigger, heinous breath.

You do it, coward.

And I was happy that Mummy Cougar's
excellent performance

would probably be the last thing I ever
got to experience in life. A dream of a

movie called The Come Ones.

A movie that would never be made.

So, Katie, apparently the Pirates and
Stamos gang gave you a giant cannon!

And I'm going to use it to launch you
into space!

You truly will be safety Katie now!

I'm Titanic!

Sinclair!

I

don't

care! Sinclair! No matter what, my music
will always be better! Your dreams were

never as good as mine!

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

She truly will be.

Spacey. KT!

They do terrible things to me.

What do they do to you?

They put roach monsters inside my chest.

We can follow him!

Sandwich Maniac, what are you doing here
at the drive -in? What fun do you use,

huh? What fun do you use?

It's funny that you've built this whole
persona around eating dry sandwiches.

I mean, the dryness of these sandwiches
is all you have.

You don't have a wife, you don't have
any children, and you seem happy with

that. As long as you know your
sandwiches are dry, nothing seems to

I'll be the least dumbest thing you ever
said.

So let me ask you something, Sandwich
Maniac.

How dry can your sandwiches be when the
people who handle them are cum -handed

dick chokers? The chances are every
sandwich you eat has several microscopic

droplets of semen embedded into the
Wonder Bread slices.

Eh, for what?

Cum dries so fast it may as well be dry.

I've seen dicks that cum in powder puffs
like they just squeezed a bottle of

baby powder.

Yeah, but I'm no genetic scientist, man.

Your two assistants have wet hands.
That's one thing that I can say for

When I got that fan letter, I had white
sticky shit all over my paw.

I didn't know what it was, so I licked
it. It had a bit of a vinegary taste,

I'm about 63 % sure it was human semen.
But that other 27%, I don't know.

What don't you know?

What I don't know is what the odds that
other 27 % is aren't that it's

mayonnaise. Okay? What I don't know
is... Whether or not you've been eating

sandwiches laced with mayonnaise that
drips off the fingers of your wet

assistant. What I don't know is whether
or not you know if you've eaten mayo or

not. That's what I don't know. I don't
know. I don't know. You don't know. You

don't know. You don't think I don't know
if I don't want to eat mayo? Because I

do know. Are you sure about that,
maniac?

No, I'm sure.

I don't know.

I'm out of here.

You told me there was mail in my

sandwiches. What's happening?

But there was no matter.

I can't say that.

It wasn't matter.

It was satin and towel.

Yes, sir. It was my wetness from my
genital warts, not mail.

No, you fucking blew it. You fucking
blew it. It's mail.

You put mail in my...

I'm sorry.

I think one time I make a tuna sandwich.

Maybe a little bit of a mayo gets on my
cum.

Then when I touch your sandwich, a
little bit of cum and mayo soak into the

bread. I'm sorry.

No. No, ma 'am.

Puppet, what did you tell Puppet Ma?

You ugly, you meanie. Now get the fuck
out of here.

I hate you.

Get out of here.

Yeah, because it's mayo.

It's mayo.

I can't... I can't... Do you hate me,
Den?

Do you hate me because I cut you off
again? Mayo in my mouth?

Tell me, do you hate...

Kill him, yeah, because of mayonnaise.

He's so crazy.

What a sad man.

Oh, we must call police now.

to Denmark nothing left for me in
America goodbye friend do not choose

violence okay

Well, the girls are so pretty.

I've had so many eyes. I miss my girl.

I'll tell her today.

I'll tell her today.

And trust you, you can trust me.

Ew.

Fuck you.

I'm not sure.

Maybe a funeral.

Anyway, I want to talk to you about
parenting.

Didn't your wife fuck your son in his
cork?

All right, all right. Well, it's just
what people are saying.

You know, we've been friends for a long
time, so I feel weirder about a girl

than you know I am. No worries, man. I
can handle a Danish person.

Danish paper puppies.

All right, yo.

I'm about to bounce it.

Thanks, man.

That Nicholas Ray fellow is one piece of
shit. I hope I don't ever have to smell

again. Oh, Danny, you're incorrigible.

and I wanted to deep -fill your fears
that he may have beset upon you.

What fears, chap? What do you mean about
those chaps coming after us? These wet

ones? I wasn't scared.

Well, it is my philosophy in regards to
these two, or one, or whoever it is with

these threats, these wet ones, these
mediocrities, they shall never achieve

anything in life, not even something so
simple as a petty revenge, for you see,

they are non -entities.

These wet ones. That is my philosophy.

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm getting out of here.

He had -

It was then that Kenton and Franklin
confronted Hal.

Yo, Lord Bunyaline, you don't think I
know what the fuck you're up to? What

you talking about, Franklin, Kenton?

What am I up to?

I'm inspecting the colonies as
perusually.

Sir?

No, you don't think I know what you're
doing with them whore laws?

Making it so you're the only one that
can fuck whores?

I'm doing it to protect the colonies.

Horse spread sex disease.

You just want to get your dick wet while
everyone else gets blue balls.

Oh yeah, take a hit for the colonies
from my rifle.

Come on, Lord Bunyan. Don't kill me, y
'all.

I was just calling you out for doing the
wrong thing. I know you still have some

good left inside of you.

I don't have any good left inside of me.

I don't believe anyone in the colonies
does anymore.

Open your eyes, Kenjamin Franklin.

I want to see them when I blow your
brains out.

And everyone in the colonies can hear
it.

Oh, gee.

Put the gun down now before I cut your
cock off.

How fast are you with that hatchet,
George Washington?

Because I'm the fastest draw in the
colonies.

You cut my cock and balls off.

Sir.

That's right.

You made me the fastest war, but I'm the
fastest hatcheter.

I'm bleeding to death.

Do it. Save me for the colonies.

That's what y 'all get, Lord Boniorant.
Wait, though. Ain't y 'all supposed to

have descendants in the future? How are
you going to make babies now?

Never mind that cringe with Franklin.

We have a country won.

A new country.

The cause of America.

I can't.

I can't kill myself.

I don't want to live. I'm too scared to
kill. I don't want to die.

Will you marry us?

Will you help me? Help you with what?

Realize my dream.

For once, be my dream.

You never had any dreams.

I quit my dreaming the moment that I
found you.

I started dancing just to be around

you.

Here's to thinking that it all meant so
much more.

I kept my mouth shut.

For this to never be a tight and empty
hand.

If all the trouble in my heart would

only mend.

I lost my dream, I lost my reason all
again.

It's not just me for you, I have to
lose.

Radio.