All language subtitles for GRAND THEFT PARSONS 2007

Good evening and welcome to tonight's
show. We are delighted to have with us

here a very talented musician and
singer.

You're probably familiar with his work
with the Flying Burrito Brothers and the

Birds.

He has just returned to our shores,
having played with none other than the

Rolling Stones. Ladies and gentlemen,
Graham Parsons.

traces of old lies still on their faces

so why don't someone here just buy his
drink why don't you

do him in some old way

supposed to be funeral

it's been a bad bad day

What? He's dead.

God, he's dead.

Hold on.

Tell me who's dead.

Parsons. Grand Parsons. We met in a bar.

Are you sure he's dead?

Yeah, he's really dead.

He's just... Call an ambulance and then
get out of there.

is dead following an overdose of drugs.

While many of America's young people are
today in mourning, their parents will

view this as another example of how
today's drug culture can so easily claim

life.

She was so beautiful.

And he understood what my heart was
feeling.

I'll never laugh again.

My inner joy has gone.

He sang country music in a way that it
had never been sung before. It was

country rock, although Graham hated that
term. And I think it's fair to say that

when Graham died, he died a star.

We'll leave you with a young man's own
words.

Graham Parsons wrote a song called In My
Hour of Darkness, which contains these

words.

And you are?

I'm his road manager.

Oh, I see.

His road manager.

Yeah. So you're not his physician or a
close relative?

No. Mr. Parsons is awaiting a post
-mortem. He will then be delivered to

family. I suggest you speak to them if
you want to pick through his personal

effects. Sir.

You listen here. No, you listen here.

Mr. Parsons is dead and no longer
appears to need a road manager.

Which makes two of us.

Hello, buddy.

How you been?

Good morning, doctor.

Good morning.

What are you doing?

I'm just taking some stuff down in
neurology.

We don't have a neurology department.

Urology? Whoa, whoa. Hold your horses.

Let me get my paperwork.

I have the paperwork.

You have your paperwork. I need to get
my paperwork.

Graham Parsons was the best friend I
ever had.

The greatest musician I ever saw.

We loved it out here in Joshua Tree.

We made a pact that whoever died first,
the other would come out here and feel

the spirit free.

Graham gave his word and I gave mine.

Now there's so much that time, time and
memory fade away.

We've got our own rooms to write.

Chances we've got to take.

We sit side by side.

Each one fighting for the other.

And we sit until we die.

We'll always be blood.

God damn, I'm so sorry, baby.

Out of a job again.

Never would have happened if you'd been
there.

How do you know why I wasn't?

Well, if you were there, you wouldn't
have let him die.

I was still on staff. He was still my
responsibility.

So where you been, anyway?

How long this time? Two weeks?

Yeah.

Let's have this conversation again like
you haven't just done six weeks on the

road. Yeah, but I usually leave a note.

And there's a paycheck involved.

Barbara, a long time no see. Don't try
and smooth me, Kaufman, you repellent

flying ball.

Huh, is that the latest victim?

Meet Barbara.

Wow, it's a lot tidier than I remember.

Who the hell is she?

Graham's ex -girlfriend.

Girlfriend? I thought he was married.

Welcome to the 70s, sweetheart.

What do you want, Barbara?

I'm here to fulfill Graham's wishes.

That's nice.

I have no idea what you're talking
about.

Do you know what this is?

No.

It's Graham's will.

To whom it may concern, I would like it
to be known that it is my wish to leave

Barbara Mansfield my assets and
belongings in the event of my death.

Find Graham Parsons.

That absolutely settles it. I mean,
that's the single most impressive legal

document since the Magna Carta.

Still the Jester Kaufman and still very
unfunny.

It's not a will and you know it.

Oh, no.

It's better than a will, darling.

It's a signed promise from Graham to
leave me all of his things.

Hmm.

Anyway, it's none of your business,
okay?

I'm here for the guitar.

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

There you go.

I don't have the guitar.

Gretchen, his wife, took it about six
months ago.

Fine.

And I want the masters.

I'll get them myself. Thank you.

Hey!

Maybe you want to check the cookie jar,
too.

Why'd you let her in?

It's all part of the grieving process.

Do me a favor, sweetheart.

Will you go grab the guitar?

Where are you going?

I had to make a call.

Afternoon.

Joshua Tree, obsequies.

Obsequies? It's Latin.

It means burial.

Graham Parsons was shipped in to you
yesterday? Is he still with you?

Yeah.

It was a real thrill for us here. We're
such a small facility.

We nearly had Jane Mansfield back in 67
when she passed through, but she was

diverted to Frisco.

We'd done him up real nice, too, but
he's been moved on.

Where to?

New Orleans.

Although he just left, so he's still on
the road to Los Angeles Airport.

Hello?

Hello?

Phil? What you doing?

These things aren't that big.

Okay. Is that a problem?

Not really.

So what are you up to?

It's best you don't know.

All right.

Keys.

I don't know what this craziness is, but
I'm not getting involved.

That's the point. I don't know what it
is you're planning, but I'm not bailing

you out this time. Right.

I'm leaving.

Again?

This time I'm not coming back.

I simply can't give you any money based
on this piece of paper.

Well, this isn't a piece of paper. This
is a promise.

from Graham to give me all of his money.
Miss Mansfield, Mr. Parsons is a valued

customer of ours.

Was?

Was.

We can't just pass his money across to
someone who says they're in his will.

We have rules.

You don't seem to understand.

These are his wishes.

Miss Mansfield, I truly understand.

Just tell me how I'm supposed to get my
money.

Well, I imagine you first need to prove
that Mr. Parsons is actually dead, as we

have no record here.

Are you saying that I'm lying?

No, no, no, absolutely not.

But getting a copy of his death
certificate would probably be a good

I'm looking for Larry Osterberg.

You

Osterberg?

Welcome to my home.

Nice place.

What the hell's that noise?

Monomongary on the sitar by Nikhil
Banerjee.

Okay.

There's no smoking in here, I'm afraid.

Right.

Who are you, please?

I'm Phil Kaufman.

And how may I help you, Phil Kaufman?

I'd like to hire your car.

Why?

Well, I'm picking someone up at the
airport.

Don't you know anyone with a car?

Yeah, I know someone with a car, but I'm
told yours is more suitable.

Huh.

Why is mine more suitable?

It's a hearse.

Yeah.

How is a hearse gonna be more suitable
for picking something up from the

airport?

It's a joke.

A joke?

Yeah, a prank, surprise.

Oh, okay.

Is it $200 worth of surprise?

No, no, no. It's more of a $50 surprise.

I can lend you a bicycle.

Besides, the car is booked.

Booked how?

I use it to carry equipment for a band.

Look, here's $200 to unbook it.

Let them carry their own trombones.

You don't got to count it. You can trust
me.

Let's see.

I've never met you in my life. You
shouted me through my window. You want

hire my hearse as a joke. And you're $20
short.

Why should I trust you? The last 20 is
for gas. And besides, I'm the one who's

operating on trust. I haven't even seen
the car yet.

It's a hearse.

What else do you need to know?

Meet Bernice.

Bernice is a Cadillac Superior Royale
Tiara Limousine Funeral Coach.

We got a 429 V8 engine offering 340 BHP
at 4 ,600

revolutions per minute.

You're looking at a 21 -foot beauty with
a 156 -inch wheelbase.

containing a four -barrel Rochester
quadrajet carburetor with turbo

transmission.

Bernice weighs over 6 ,000 pounds.

It's yellow.

Yeah, it's yellow. Bernice comes in
yellow.

It's supposed to be black.

But they're all black.

That might be my point.

So how is a yellow hearse covered with
flowers going to be less of a surprise

than a black hearse?

Because I paid you $200 for a black
hearse. Now you pay me $180 for a

and a hearse is what you got.

Take a long, hard look at Bernice,
you'll see she's one of a kind.

She's big, she's fast, she's beautiful,
comfortable.

But she's not black.

All right.

Give me the keys.

Why? Because I got to go.

Oh, no. She doesn't go anywhere without
me.

I'm stuck on L .A.

freeway. Got rainwater in my boot.

My thumb gun froze. Can't feel my toes.

I'm feeling a little dead.

Nothing. Well, what flight are they on?

We'll wait here.

Okay, well, what time's their flight
getting on?

Soon.

Okay.

How soon?

Why do you ask so many damn questions?

I don't know.

Shouldn't we be at arrivals?

Would you please shut up asking me
stuff?

Okay.

Okay.

So how long are we going to wait?

Morning.

Morning? What do you mean, morning?

We'll make the pickup in the morning.

You wait till morning, I'm going home.

I'm only back because I don't trust you
with Bernice.

I don't even know you.

If you think I'm just going to walk away
and leave you with the car, you got

another thought on the way.

Parsons.

You've just arrived from New Orleans,
Mr. Parsons?

Yes.

And you're flying directly back to New
Orleans on the same plane.

That's correct.

Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay at
Los Angeles Airport, Mr. Parsons.

Thank you.

I'm here to pick up my son's body.

He died out here, you see, and I'm here
to take him home.

I'm hoping that's enough information for
you.

I'm so sorry.

We'll see to it that you get every
assistance you need on your journey,

Most kind.

Can I help you? Yeah.

I'm here to pick up a coffin.

Um, name?

Mine are the fish.

The deceased?

Parsons. What was his name again?

Parsons. P -A -R -S -O -N -S.

Parsons. And he's a musician.

What? He was a musician.

Papers? Oh, yeah. They'll be right
along.

This being a rush job, they said you'd
understand.

Yeah, well, you better tell them that we
got rules.

And this would be the exception that
proves that particular rule.

I'm afraid we can't issue a certificate.

until we have official notification of
death.

Well, he's dead.

At this current time, the Greater Los
Angeles Registrar of Births, Marriages,

and Deaths does not regard the local
newspaper as an official recorder of

records.

And here's your deceased.

Watch your blood.

Good luck with her.

Yep, that's a she.

And yours is supposed to be male?

Yeah.

Oh.

Um... Gone.

Gone. What do you mean, gone?

Must have got the wrong box. The box was
being loaded.

How do I get it back?

You're a damn thing.

Well, that's very hurtful.

Barney, are you receiving?

Excuse me. Why?

I gotta get off the plane.

I just got settled in.

Are you okay, boy?

Okay, sure.

What you doing here, boy?

Huh?

Shit.

Can we speed things up a little?

What's your hurry?

I just wanted to get out to Joshua Tree
where it's still light.

Joshua Tree?

I thought you said New Orleans.

What? When you came in, you said you
were driving the casket out to New

Just now, you said you were heading out
to Joshua Tree, so... Joshua Tree, yeah.

Joshua Tree City, Louisiana.

Never heard of that.

It's small. It's just another local
community struggling to get by.

I don't like the look of you.

Wherever there's a hippie, there's a
crime.

Even if that crime hasn't happened yet.

That's what I always say.

And here we are.

She told me it was a Berkeley.

Hey. I need you to snipe for it again.

And three more.

So what you doing here?

We're meeting someone off a flight.

You're meeting someone off of a flight?

Yes. In a hearse? Yes.

It's a surprise.

Which part's the surprise? The fact that
you're in a bright yellow hearse?

The fact that you look like something
out of a horror film?

Or the fact that you're a half a mile
away from the terminal and they're going

to have to walk across two runways to
reach you?

The first part.

The first part.

Okay. You go ahead and tell me what the
hell's going on. Well, I don't care if

it is first thing in the morning, but I
need a drink. Never signed so many darn

bits of paper. To hell with Vietnam.

Paperwork which is slowing this great
country down. We're drowning in

triplicate. Morning, officer.

Morning.

I was just saying how people with work
to do, people like yourself, officer,

engulfed by paper.

Grab the end, will you?

Doesn't that just drive you crazy?

Yeah, I guess it does.

One casket, six sheets of paper to sign.
Six.

That can't be right.

Does that sound right to you? No, sure
don't.

Last thing I want to do is hold you up
further with my chatter.

You have a good day now, officer.

Thanks for your help.

Come on, let's go. Let's go. Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa. Just a moment, boys.

The sidekick here just got finished
telling me about you picking someone up

the terminal.

A surprise, he said.

And here you are, loading a coffin into
your vehicle.

You see, the gentleman we're meeting at
the airport doesn't yet know about the

sad passing of his aunt.

And you're going to meet him off of his
flight with her coffin?

Yeah. We're doing it this way for the
avoidance of all doubt.

That's a real nice touch.

The ignition's a bit temperamental.

Right. You have to use the screwdriver.

I see that.

You have a good day now, officer.

We did it.

We did it. What was all that babbling
about? I didn't babble.

Goddamn hippie.

You hit the wall. I clipped it. I
clipped the wall.

There's a gap 50 yards wide.

All you gotta do is aim for the gap, and
you missed the gap! I was distracted.

We are supposed to be picking someone
up, and you arrived with a coffin.

I just woke up.

You on drugs, boy?

Hello, officer.

Guess they make these hearses wider than
they need to. Shut up! You on drugs,

boy? Uh, not, not, not at this time. Not
at this time? Well, let's see. You just

missed a gap of 50 yards, and you hit a
wall in broad daylight.

Why was that?

Fantastic. Well done. Oh, yeah. Now it's
all my fault.

You hit the wall. Of course it's your
fault.

Jesus.

Here it comes.

Well?

Well, what?

What are we doing now?

He's set to wait.

Nippy went straight through the gap that
time. He got it.

Jesus! What now?

Get out.

What are you talking about?

Come on, we gotta keep moving. Get out
and take your friend with you.

Look, I can see you're a bit sensitive
about this whole casket thing. Get out!

Stop saying that!

I can't get out. Why not?

I... Look, man.

It ain't right to throw me out into the
street with a coffin.

Stop.

What the hell are you doing? I'm driving
back to the mortuary.

You can't do that. I'm driving back to
the mortuary.

God damn it, come on, man, that can
explain.

Parsons? Parsons.

Was he in a Berkeley?

To Berkeley.

A luxury casket of solid mahogany
finished with a split -hinged lid, eight

-plated casket handles, and an engraved
inscription plate.

Empty.

Absolutely, completely told it.

It seems awfully heavy for an empty
coffin.

Well, they're made of the finest poplar,
and that's very heavy wood.

Poplar?

No way.

Mahogany or oak.

But not poplar.

Well, I'm not going to argue with you
over it.

Poplar is very well suited into making
the coffin.

Okay, so why is there an empty coffin in
the back of my car?

I'm selling them onto a company in Palm
Springs.

Lots of stiffs, lots of money.

Then, of course, they're very
environmentally sound, you know.

And perhaps under these circumstances,
you and I should renegotiate the

financial agreement between us.

You just gave the body away.

It's not like it's a bank.

The people around here don't generally
take bodies they're not entitled to. Why

did you give it to him?

Because he signed for it.

Who signed for it?

John Nobody.

John Nobody.

And where do I find this John Nobody?

There.

So then Bobby transfers them over into
hardboard boxes just prior to cremation,

and I drive the caskets over to a guy I
know in Palm Springs who resells them.

As new?

Well, I'm not sure the one careful owner
thing works with coffins.

The whole thing is completely immoral.

Yeah, well, I saw how upset you were
back there when I mentioned money.

Just think of it as reciting.

Look, I really need to get home.

What?

I just do.

acknowledge the power of your argument,
we have someplace we need to be.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

What do you mean the body was stolen?

Where is that son of a bitch?

Son of a bitch isn't here.

Yeah, well, he's stolen Graham.

Stolen Graham?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, they had some sort of weird pact.

I don't know. I think he's taken Graham
out to the desert.

Why?

I don't know.

Some voodoo thing with hot wax and dolls
to stick pins in.

That's ridiculous.

That's a wise move, if you ask me.

I didn't ask you.

So where are the cops?

I called them.

It's supposed to be a funeral in New
Orleans. I gotta find my son.

New Orleans?

The man said he was driving the casket
to Joshua Tree, Louisiana.

Joshua Tree?

Won't scratch my head, sweet Annie Rich.

And welcome me back to town.

Come out on your porch, step into your
parlor, and I'll tell you how it all

down.

Out with the truckers and the kickers
and the cowboy angels.

And a good...

Everything. Little number here for
drinking money. By trade, I'm a role

Oh, one of those.

Like a well -paid gopher?

No, not like a well -paid gopher. I'm in
charge of movement, maintenance, and

management. I'm a patron and a partner.
I'm a confidant and companion, ally,

agent, and ambassador.

I'm like an executive nanny, not a
gopher.

Oh, executive nanny, not a gopher.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Interfering asshole!

Look, I don't know what it is you want
exactly, but... That's him, isn't it?

Fine.

Phil?

Hey, baby, it's the love machine.

Oh, God, what a horrible thought.

Look, you were gonna write jail for me.

Phil?

Phil! Hello?

Sorry, Barb. Gotta go.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Kaufman.

What was that about?

Sunstroke.

You've hardly left the car since we met.
How can you have sunstroke?

That's susceptible.

Oh, you're a winner. You are a winner.

You want to see what Phil Coffman is all
about? You want to see what that ass...

Pull off here.

This isn't the way to Palm Springs.

It is if you're a coffin smuggler.

I give up.

What now?

Hey, you're an undertaker?

Sure am.

Ain't you supposed to be in black?

No, we're special rock and roll
undertakers. Musical morticians.

Hey, can you slam some high -tech music
for me?

Uh, this car runs on regular.

Who said it's for the car?

Ain't for the car.

Come on. Hit me less, bro.

Sounds real, huh?

Afternoon. Hello.

I was wondering... Did you happen to see
a hearse pass by here in the

last couple of hours?

What's it look like?

Oh, it's a big car. Couple of guys
inside.

Did one of them guys get sick over
there?

I don't know. Maybe.

Yep. I seen it.

Cause I'm coming up to you.

So send down your wings.

And let them bring me to you.

You know I'm standing at the station.

Ready to go.

Off you go, airplane.

I'm trusting you so.

Get on up, big bear.

So, the yin represents negative.

The dark side.

And yang represents positive, good.

If you like, the first is earth, second,
heaven.

The yin -yang symbol is really evocative
about the whole concept.

As you travel around the circle, white
or black will increase until the

colors. Let me give you an example.

So, what seems to be yin, in order to
truly know good, you must

first know evil.

Without good as a comparison, I allow
Nian to flinch.

Welcome, Nian.

And I let go of Nian while waiting.

It would be so nice if we could get
through a couple of hours without

the car.

I was distracted.

Of course you were.

Oh, I don't believe it.

Middle of nowhere.

Quick, get out of the car.

But now, pretend to have a conversation.

Okay, what about?

I don't know what about ever since I met
you. You talk yabba yabba yabba.

Religion, your supersonic supercharged
car, the dark side. Now you got to talk

and you can't think of anything to say?

Whatever your damn full religion is, I
think it worked.

Well, it's more of a philosophy than a
religion.

I mean, religion is more... Shut up.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

Afternoon, officer. How's it going?

Oh, it's going just fine, thank you. And
how are things with you?

Good, good. We just stopped to take a
look at this fine view you guys got.

Uh -huh.

It is mighty nice around these parts.

Feel like the desert.

And how are things with you today, sir?

Oh, well, really well, actually.

Thanks. The reason I ask is you seem to
have run into one of our road signs.

Yeah,

I'm surprised you hadn't noticed
earlier, as it does appear to be

forward progress.

That's a funny line.

Thank you.

I was wondering if you gentlemen could
give me a hand. Sure, anything.

I'm looking for some fellas that stole a
body back there at the airport.

A body? Stole a body?

Uh -huh. A body.

Rather like the one in the back of your
vehicle there.

That's an empty coffin, officer.

I know it sounds strange, but these
guys, there were two of them.

They stole the body, loaded it in the
back of an old yellow hearse painted

flowers, and they're supposed to be
headed out this way.

Hearse.

Flowers. I think he's on to us, Larry.

He's just having a little fun at our
expense.

Uh -huh.

In the car.

Pick the keys.

God damn!

You said body.

You said we stole a body.

I'm in a coffin.

You didn't say coffin. You said body.
Apprehended suspects in yellow hearse

stolen body.

Tell me we have not stolen a real
person.

Look, the place I get the coffins from
probably hasn't filed a report yet.

be sorted out within the hour. Trust me.

I'm overflowing with trust for you, man.

I feel this overwhelming feeling of
trust every time I look at you.

What are we going to do?

Time. What?

We're going to get arrested, and then
we're going to go to court, and then

going to go to jail, and that's what
we're going to do for a while.

What if I could slip out of these cuffs?

That'd be great. And maybe we could
suspend you from a bridge in a straight

jacket and light the rope on fire.

No, really, I can slip out of these
cuffs.

Show me.

I think we should

go.

that your sign no longer appears to be
my forward progress.

That's it.

You're going to lock me up and throw
away the key?

Why would they do that?

You saw what happened. I drove into that
cop's bike. That's destruction of

police property or something.

You worry too much.

Not until I met you.

What are we doing?

What do you mean?

What are we doing here?

What are we chasing?

I don't know about you, honey. I need
Graham.

That's real touching. But you've got to
come to terms with the fact that you...

I know he's dead, honey.

Okay. This is that his body hasn't
officially been identified, and there's

certificate of death.

This is all about money, isn't it?

Isn't everything?

Look, I was an orphan at 14, and a
waitress at 15.

I do things the way I do them because it
puts food on the table.

Now, I just want what's mine, and then
I'll be gone.

It's all real.

And why do you deserve anything,
Barbara?

Without my support, he would have never
even made it.

And Phil Kaufman came along and just
shit on everything.

Phil's not responsible for your problems
with Graham.

You lost him all on your own. How would
you know?

I know that he can be a pain in the ass,
but when it came to Graham, Phil only

ever did the right thing.

Never in his life has Phil Kaufman ever
done anything because it was the right

thing to do.

I will bet the ranch that wherever he is
right now, he's having some fun.

Because that's what he does.

That is all that you got.

Jesus, what the hell is that?

It's a dinosaur.

I'm very perceptive. What's it doing?

Pollyanna, it's played.

Pollyanna, it's probably some kind of
dinosaur.

Dino burger, reptile thing.

I'm able to put the... ...mantanatorium
portions, prehistoric prices,

liquor, sir.

Pull over, let's eat.

Let's not. The cop is probably right on
our trail. We can get on Palm Springs

and do this thing. I can go home.

You can do whatever it is you do.

Let's do this.

We need to stop. I'm starting to get
hungry, and I ain't very nice hungry.

I vote we keep going.

What gave you the impression this was a
democracy?

Pull over!

Do you have any idea what...

Oh. Oh, sweetie, that's very touching
that you're in love with Bill Kaufman,

unfortunately, so is he.

I'm sure you're just handy to have
around.

Okay.

You vindictive bitch.

I am going with you to Joshua Tree
because I want to know what the hell is

on. But don't you ever tell me how or
what to feel about anybody, or I'll

that pretty little face of yours off the
road. Got it?

Look,

I'm a vegetarian.

I have a problem with dead flesh.

I get it.

Stuff will mess you up every time.

Would you put a slug of bourbon in that,
please?

Sure.

Hey.

Yeah, real bad day.

What happened?

My boy died out here the other day, and
a couple of punks stole his body.

Oh, man, I'm sorry.

That's worth a shot on the house.

We gotta go. I haven't finished my
drink.

Why don't someone steal a body?

All gone. Maybe they were souvenir
hunters or something. He was sort of

Thanks, guys.

Who is it?

Graham Parsons.

Graham Parsons?

Graham Parsons?

Graham Parsons?

Graham Parsons dead?

We better get going.

He said someone took Graham Parsons'
body. Two people.

Yeah, he was a real blabbermouth, wasn't
he? I didn't think he was ever going to

shut up. And although that's real
interesting, we've got to keep our

Schedule? What schedule?

There is no schedule.

We've got to make our delivery. We've
got to get our package to Palm Springs,

remember?

Package?

We've stolen that man's son!

Stolen? His son? That's outrageous!

I'm appalled that you could even think
we would do such a thing.

I don't know what you take me for.

I want to see it in that box.

We got to go.

It's heavy.

Of course it's heavy. Wood is heavy.
Yeah, I remember.

Finest poplar.

Jesus! Jesus!

Jesus!

Oh, boy.

Yep, they gave us a pull one.

Look, we'll sort all this out when we
get out to Palm Springs. Oh, my God.

You stole Graham Parsons?

Technically, we stole Graham Parsons. I
stole a coffin. I didn't know there was

a body in it.

Save that line for court.

What are you doing? I don't know.

And I'm going to give that man his son
back.

I'm going to do the right thing. I'm
going to follow my conscience.

I'm going to.

Shit.

Oh, Jesus.

Come on.

Hippie.

Hippie, come on.

Hippie.

Hippie, come on.

Sorry about that.

Welcome back, hippie.

Why'd you do it? Do what?

Have a guess.

I gave my word. What grand morning?

What, cruising around the desert until
you started to smell?

Well? I make a promise. I keep it.

You made me do it, you jerk.

I've never hit anyone in my life.

You put and you put.

And you gave me no choice.

Come on. Your light's not down.

Shit. Shit.

Yeah. I'm one of the guys that took your
son.

Where is he?

May I come in?

What happened to your head?

Hippie hit it.

I thought you had gone.

Hold that thought.

What the hell does that mean?

It means I need to know what the hell is
going on here.

I told you what's going on. He's going
to set fire to my gram in some freaky

ceremony with black magic and dolls.

Dolls? I want my man back.

Enough of this.

What ever happened to peace, love, and
understanding, hippie?

You're Kaufman?

Yeah.

Well, hello, Stanley.

You remember me?

The psychotic girlfriend?

Hello, Barbara.

Nothing wrong with your memory.

You boys mind telling me why you stole
my son? Well, I didn't even know he was

in the box. I'm going to cremate him out
here in the desert, where he felt most

at home. That's what he wanted.

How the hell you are, Kaufman?

You know I can't let you do that. I know
you have to. I don't have to do

anything, Mr. Kaufman.

This is my loss, my son.

It's too late to claim him now.

And what's that supposed to mean?

All he ever wanted from you was your
approval.

He wanted you to be proud of what he
achieved.

Of course I was proud of him.

I saved everything.

Every photo, every album, every article.

It's no good telling me. You should have
told him.

I understand you were his right -hand
man as well as his friend.

I was both, yeah.

And that when he died, you weren't there
when he needed you the most.

That's right.

So the guilt is not all mine, then?

I guess not.

Lost him once in life, and now you're
trying to take him away from me again.

Oh, God, can we just cut through this,
okay?

Now, you two stole the body.

Theft.

And you are an old fool who should have
called the police, but hasn't.

Stupidity. Now, let's just call the cops
and get this thing done, okay?

Sooner we get a death certificate and
bury him, and then his soul will be

properly laid to rest.

Wait!

Get your head off of me!

I was his road manager and his friend.

We both loved it out here in the desert.

We had a pact that whoever died first,
the other would come out here and set

free.

Graham gave his word and I gave mine.

You're a couple of druggies. Why should
I believe you?

I don't take drugs.

What about you?

Are you a druggie?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Stanley!

They're going to burn your son, Stanley!

Nice work.

Get back here! Let's go.

God damn it!

Hey,

man. What?

You can't do this.

Just do what feels right to you.

Oh, God damn it.

You called them?

No. You gonna call them?

You ever give me a reason not to?

There isn't a reason.

If someone tried to steal my son's body,
I'd stop them for sure.

So, are you prepared to go to jail?

I'm expecting to. Oh, don't you worry,
Kaufman. It's gonna happen.

Mr. Pardons?

What is it, son?

I've been a junkie for over four years.
You don't need to... I've taken heroin,

speed, uppers, downers, blues, morphine,
methadone, mushrooms, quaaludes, acid,

volume, barbiturates, straight LSD,
marijuana, marijuana laced with opium,

baton.

Methicolone, of course, and medicinal
methiquolone, which made me shake

uncontrollably for six days and vomit on
the hour.

It's very impressive, son.

Not my point, sir. Better make that
point.

I started working my way through this
list on June 5th, 1969, and since then,

there hasn't been a day when I didn't at
least smoke a joint.

Are we sure this is helping?

And now I've stopped.

I stopped because it seemed I had
something more important to do.

He's doing this because he gave his
word.

And I'm prepared to do it now because I
think it's right.

I believe everybody has a soul, and
Graham's soul does not belong in some

plot surrounded by strangers.

It belongs out here where he was happy.

Really take all those drugs?

I don't remember.

Where'd he go?

Hi, listen, I know I was going really
fast, but you have to help me, okay?

They have stolen my boyfriend's corpse,
and they are going to perform a ritual

with his body.

Can I see your driving license, please,
ma 'am?

Excuse me, what?

Your driving license, ma 'am.

I just told you that they stole a body,
and you want to see my driver's license?

Okay, okay.

Officer Larson, you people are supposed
to be on the lookout for a hearse, okay?

A hearse.

It's a big, long car.

Now, you can usually tell which ones are
the hearses because they have coffins

at the back of them!

Now, the one you're looking for is
painted yellow.

Does this look like a yellow hearse to
you, you homosexual?

Is that a ticket?

Are you writing me a ticket?

Yes, it is, man.

Yes, I am.

Turn off you, man.

Can you give me a hand here?

Jesus, Graham.

Sorry,

Graham.

What now?

Now we do it.

Lift up the lid. What?

Why? Flesh burns easier than wood. I
have a problem with dead flesh.

Oh, you look a little peaky, man.

A little decorum would be nice.

All right.

You think that's enough?

I don't know. Maybe a little more.

Enough?

I'm not having a conversation with you
about how much gasoline you need to burn

a human body.

That should do it.

There's a little, uh...

I'm sorry I wasn't there when you threw
away your damn full life.

I was there before.

And I've been there ever since.

Good luck, Graham.

Here's my last one, buddy.

Oh, my land is like a wild goose.

Wanders all around everywhere.

Trembles and shakes.

Jesus built a ship to sing a song to.

It sails the river.

Jesus,

what the hell is that?

That would be Graham Parsons on fire.

Oh, maybe too much fuel.

No, I just didn't factor in the amount
of booze he had in him.

How do you know that's your boyfriend?

I recognize the birthmark on his
shoulder.

You know, officer, can I make an
observation?

Knock yourself out.

We're in the desert, and it's dark.

And if you want to catch somebody in the
dark, it's probably best not to turn on

your big flashing lights and make a big
loud noise with a siren.

You know what I think, ma 'am?

No.

Maybe it was suicide.

I may just want to get away from you.

Hello, Graham.

Phil.

You think you should?

Not gonna hurt me now, is it?

Nice wheels.

Very stylish.

They come in handy for transporting dead
people. Nothing better.

I am dead then, huh?

You're more than dead. You and the box
are down to bones and brass.

Here's mud in your eye.

What can I do for you, Graham?

I guess I just wanted to say thanks.

I'm just taking care of business. That's
what you pay me for. That's what I do.

You shoot before a raise.

Actually, I just quit.

Bye, Graham.

I'm glad it all worked out.

What?

I'm glad it all worked out.

All what worked out?

Doesn't matter.

When you go, I'm getting sick of saying.

Hey, baby, we're boogieing.

I was blind not to see

Mustache, that's for sure.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Let's roll, hippie.

I didn't do that the wrong cut. I
thought I didn't do it.

You love me and you stole my clothes.

I love you and that's the way that it
goes, so it goes.

Now you know.

You love me and you stole my clothes.

I love you, baby.

That's the way that it goes. So it goes.

Now you know.

There's a train out on the main line
climbing to Hatchipede.

There's a place across the railroad
track they call

eternity.

Somewhere there's a jukebox, a cowboy
shooting pool.

No thread left on the spoon

There's a fire in the desert

Whiskey on the wind I must say it's been

a pleasure Adios, my friend

And all that's left Is a promise and a
pack

of matches Put a sequined ghost in Buck
Owens'

clothes And rhinestones in the ashes

So long, city of angels

Speckled bird, spread your wings Braid
me

a halo through genome

guitar strings there's no spirit in the

ember just a sweet song on the breeze a
station

wagon zigzagging through the Joshua tree

there's a fire in the desert

whiskey

Thank you.

Thank you.