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1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:06,260
This programme contains adult humour
2
00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:08,820
I just don't know what
I want since I came out.
3
00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:11,900
You want to be all gay and fabulous.
why aren't you being fabulous?
4
00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:12,940
Be fabulous!
5
00:00:12,940 --> 00:00:16,180
You should get on your knees
and worship my fanny!
6
00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:19,900
Wha... What are you doing?
7
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:23,260
Getting on my knees
to worship your fanny
8
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:24,940
Are you going to get
a nice boyfriend?
9
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:26,980
I need to walk again.
10
00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:35,300
# Hey, Mr Bartender, give me a drink
11
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:39,140
# I want a cold, wet glass
with bubbles in it
12
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:45,180
# And that doesn't mean I can't
handle anything stronger now
13
00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,100
# Just think I'll wait a while
14
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:50,660
# I'll have a pint of lager, please
15
00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:53,860
# And a pack of flakies. #
16
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:02,460
You all right, my Billy big baws?
Yeah. I'm just a bit shagged.
17
00:01:02,460 --> 00:01:03,540
Why?
18
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,620
Cos of all our shagging.
19
00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:08,900
(GIGGLES) We've been at it
like rabbits, haven't we?
20
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:11,100
Yeah. S&M rabbits.
21
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,260
Yeah.
22
00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:16,020
S&M rabbits who like to
stick kitchen utensils
23
00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:17,660
Yeah.
24
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:21,140
That potato-masher might have
been a bit much, though.
25
00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:25,380
Now me farts smell
like King Edwards.
26
00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:28,340
Right, I'm ready for round two.
27
00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,500
Get your trousers off
and a stonker on.
28
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,180
Cassie, please.
I can't manage any more sex.
29
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,100
Feels like you've been at me cock
with the meat-tenderiser.
30
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,860
That's cos I have.
31
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,100
I'm exhausted.
32
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,900
I don't want this
interfering with me footie.
33
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:46,940
I've got to focus on me tackling,
not me tackle.
34
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,340
Heading skills, not getting head.
35
00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:53,140
And my dribbling,
not your dribbling.
36
00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:59,860
Billy...you know all the other
players' girlfriends?
37
00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:02,460
Well, they're all really glamorous,
aren't they?
38
00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:05,140
Well, doesn't it bother you
that I'm not like that?
39
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:07,460
Those WAGs smell like Paco Rabanne.
40
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,620
And they never wear
the same pair of jeans twice.
41
00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,940
I haven't washed these since 2008,
42
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:15,620
and even then, I found them
on the pavement outside Scope.
43
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,020
But you've got your own style.
44
00:02:19,020 --> 00:02:23,100
A charity-shop-robbing style...
45
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,220
Anyway, I'd better get to training.
46
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,700
Hey, don't you want to eat your eggs?
47
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:31,660
Cassie, did you make these eggs with
the whisk you shoved up me arse?
48
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,380
Maybe...
49
00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:36,580
I might just have some toast.
50
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,300
Well, today's the day, Donna.
51
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,500
I, Gaz Wilkinson,
am going to walk again.
52
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,380
I can...I can feel it in me bones.
53
00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:48,500
Not the ones in me legs, of course,
but me other bones.
54
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,700
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
55
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,820
(TELEVISION COMES ON)
56
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:55,860
Right, I-I just think
you need to do more to walk again
57
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,820
than say, "I'm going to walk again,"
58
00:02:57,820 --> 00:03:02,300
and then watch endless repeats
of Murder, She Wrote.
59
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,940
It's that Jessica Fletcher.
I can't get enough of her!
60
00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:07,060
Should be called Fanny, She Wrote.
61
00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,780
Or Murder, She...
62
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:10,820
Fanny...
63
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:13,540
Or just Fanny, Fanny, Fanny.
64
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:16,660
You need to be more proactive
to walk, Gaz.
65
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:20,340
The physio said everything's fine.
It might even be psychological.
66
00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:22,860
You just need to find
the motivation.
67
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:25,660
Is there something that can
make you get out of that chair?
68
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,660
I can't believe I'm doing this.
69
00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:40,900
It's like something out of
a filthy Generation Game.
70
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:46,940
You know, it's probably
something that Jim Davidson
actually suggested.
71
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:50,300
If anything's going to
get me out of this chair,
it's ultra-hard-core porn.
72
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,820
Here we go.
73
00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:56,860
It's not working!
74
00:03:56,860 --> 00:04:00,060
Turn that page and see
what that guy's doing
75
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:03,620
Only you can make it happen.
Yes. Yes, I can make it happen.
76
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:06,980
Oh, shit!
77
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,460
It's falling! Oh! Oh, shit! Oh...
78
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:10,780
You were so close, Gaz.
79
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:14,900
I think I'd be more motivated
if you just did what the twins
80
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,620
I can't get my legs that high,
81
00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:19,260
and we don't have a butter churn
or a curious goat!
82
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,740
I could really do with a break
from all this.
83
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,380
Fine. Why don't you just
go and see your mates?
84
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,020
See my mates? (SHOUTS) Hah!
85
00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:30,500
Sorry, that was a bit dramatic,
wasn't it? It's just...
86
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,700
..I don't really have any mates.
87
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:36,660
I miss having a girl to talk to.
88
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:42,020
You know, about girlie stuff that
might be happening right now.
89
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,660
Oh? And you can't talk to me
90
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,380
about girlie things?
Tampons!
91
00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:47,580
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
92
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,900
You know I have nightmares
about them things.
93
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:53,420
Well, I'm going to go out
and get myself a new friend.
94
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,580
Donna, friends aren't
like toilet paper.
95
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:58,220
You can't just pop out and get
some more when you run out.
96
00:04:58,220 --> 00:05:00,300
Not that you do that with bog roll.
97
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,180
I had to use a copy
of Heat the other day!
98
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:04,540
It's weird wiping me arse
on Paris Hilton's face.
99
00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,780
You're not the first.
100
00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:11,060
I just know there's somebody
out there who'd be my pal.
101
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,300
Somebody who'd understand
the real me.
102
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:16,660
Somebody who'd listen to all
my womanly woes and worries
103
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:19,460
and tell me, "It'll be all right,"
and...
104
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:23,620
Did you get any of that(?)
105
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:26,860
Yeah, course.
106
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,220
What did I say?
107
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:32,420
Summat about tampons.
108
00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:40,300
Morning, campers.
What a beautiful day!
109
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,580
Oh, Gaz, I heard how well
you were doing in physio.
110
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:46,260
Are you using that pint
as a motivation to walk?
111
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:48,140
No, Cassie won't hand it to me.
112
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,620
I love seeing people struggle.
113
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,260
That's why I've glued
Arthur to the table.
114
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,980
You seem in a good mood, Tim.
115
00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:02,500
I found an exciting new way to locate
116
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,220
You've put your phone number
on the toilet wall again?
117
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,300
No, I've never done that!
118
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:12,180
Oh, no, I did that.
Thought it might give you a hand.
Or a hand job. Whoo!
119
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:16,700
I meant I popped down
to the Carphone Warehouse
120
00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:18,980
and bought myself what's known as
121
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,820
a smartphone.
122
00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:23,220
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Einstein!
123
00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:27,860
There's a warehouse for car phones?
124
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:29,780
Yeah.
125
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:36,140
Apparently, this smartphone can
download apps, which is short
for "applications".
126
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:41,100
You're a dickhead, which is short
for "man with a dick on his head".
127
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:46,380
Anyway, there's an app here which
will help me locate local gay men.
128
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:50,620
This is my chance
to form a real spiritual
connection with a kindred spirit.
129
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:51,820
Oh, what's it called?
130
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:53,740
Shagger.
131
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:55,220
That sounds filthy.
132
00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,180
Is there a straight version of it?
133
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,500
I'm sure it's not as dubious
as it sounds.
134
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,380
I've already met a friendly sort.
135
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,700
He sent me a message. It said, "Hey!"
136
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,940
(MESSAGE BLEEP)
137
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:09,780
Oh! Oh, he's sent me a photo.
138
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,820
Oh, my God!
139
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:13,900
Oh, he looks very friendly...
140
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,620
and engorged.
141
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:17,780
Oh, that's disgusting!
142
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:20,540
I can't even look at it.
That's disgusting!
143
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,060
It's disgusting!
144
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:27,620
Oh. How do you save photos
on this thing?
145
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:31,940
So where's Billy the Stud, then?
146
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:35,700
He's gone to football training.
Look, Gaz, you and Billy are mates.
147
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,380
I'm just a bit worried.
148
00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:40,700
He acted differently with me
earlier. I don't know if
I've done something wrong.
149
00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:45,580
Oh, that's given me an idea. Maybe
football can get me walking again.
150
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:48,180
I'm sure your problem
will sort itself out, love.
151
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:49,660
Did you even hear what it was?
152
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:52,220
Yeah, course. Summat about tampons.
153
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,980
Billy!
154
00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:07,980
What was that?!
Gaz! You've come to support me!
155
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:12,020
Actually, I've come because...
Well, football's the thing I miss
most
156
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:13,820
and I thought if I watched you
play my beloved game
157
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,340
I'd want to get out
of this pissing chair.
158
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:18,380
Feel free to, "Go on, Billy, lad,
get in there, son!"
159
00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:20,820
Go on, Billy, get in there, son.
160
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:23,420
Anyway, I'd better...
161
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,100
Billy! Billy.
162
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:28,580
You're really good at football,
right? Yeah?
163
00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:31,140
Yeah. Why are you playing
like complete shite?
164
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:36,460
OK, look...
you know I've been seeing Cassie.
165
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:39,540
Well, she is really into me.
166
00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:42,060
And, well,
she's kind of got a big appetite.
167
00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:45,540
Oh, I get it. Eating all your food,
depriving you of your vital
nourishment.
168
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:50,180
No, she's got an appetite for sex.
She wants to do it all the time.
169
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:51,980
You just won the Lottery, my friend.
170
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,820
No, you don't understand.
171
00:08:54,820 --> 00:08:56,740
I'm always like this.
172
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,540
As long as I'm scoring off
the pitch, I can never score on it.
173
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,020
Yeah, I was like that
when I was a mechanic, you know.
174
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:05,060
You were crap at fixing cars
after you'd had sex?
175
00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:06,580
Oh, no, during.
176
00:09:07,540 --> 00:09:10,660
Yeah, man, trying to change a fan
belt was a right bastard.
177
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:12,580
It's time I took a stand.
178
00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:15,700
If it's affecting me footie,
there's only one thing for it.
179
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,180
Yeah, I've got to call it off with
Cassie.
180
00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:20,060
I admire your dedication, Billy,
181
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,260
but you're turning down regular sex,
you thick twat.
182
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,940
That's it!
183
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,300
Oh, man, come on now, pass!
184
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,540
Quicker! What was that?!
185
00:09:30,540 --> 00:09:33,100
Go on, babe, try and kick it back.
186
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,700
OK.
187
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,580
All right. I can do this.
188
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:38,900
Go on, babe!
189
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,820
All right, Gaz, this is it,
this is your moment.
190
00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:44,460
Come on! Beckham, eat your heart out.
Let's go. Here we go.
191
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:49,100
Bollocks!
192
00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,180
What can I get you, Donna?
193
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,340
Friends. That's all I need.
Just friends.
194
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:59,620
You could buy a drink too.
I'm running a business here,
not a drop-in centre.
195
00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:04,460
Seriously, Tim...since Janet and
Louise left, I've got no-one.
196
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:07,620
We used to be a three,
now I'm a one.
197
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:10,420
I feel like that singer
out of the Sugababes.
198
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:14,180
The original one left
and swapped with that other girl,
199
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,900
then the moody one left
so the Scouse one could come back.
200
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,580
I can't keep up with them.
201
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:23,140
I'm sure you don't need to look
too hard for a best friend.
202
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,820
I think you've already
found that person.
203
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,100
Someone who works behind a bar.
204
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:32,100
A loveable custodian
with a devil-may-care smile.
205
00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:35,740
Who's speaking to you
at this very moment.
206
00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:38,260
Me, you gormless bint! Me!
207
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:42,620
Oh, that's...that's really sweet,
Tim, but...I need a female friend.
208
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,860
I've got womanly matters to discuss.
209
00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:47,580
Well, I don't mind
talking about that stuff.
210
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,540
OK, well, usually when
I have my period...
211
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:52,300
Ohhh!
212
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,060
Oof! Oh, now I feel nauseous.
213
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:57,980
Right, I definitely
need a girlie pal.
214
00:10:57,980 --> 00:11:02,060
Hey, I could talk to Cassie! She
technically qualifies as a woman.
215
00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:06,700
Well, yes, in the same way
that Victoria Beckham
qualifies as a singer.
216
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,860
Mm.
217
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:11,580
So, anyway, how's it going
looking for a male lover on your...
218
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,140
What is it again?
219
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:16,220
App. It's short for application.
220
00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:17,900
Chuffin' hell!
221
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,780
And I've given up on that thing.
222
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:23,380
It's nothing but a disgusting
den of perverts flashing
their private parts.
223
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:26,020
I've literally been on there for
hours...
224
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,100
being disgusted.
225
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,580
I'm never going to find a nice man
in Runcorn, they're all animals.
226
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:36,300
Don't say that. Well, when
the right guy turns up, you'll know.
227
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:39,260
Hiya, can I get a gin and tonic?
228
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:41,420
Looks like the right guy
might have just turned up.
229
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:43,580
I see what you mean.
230
00:11:43,580 --> 00:11:45,620
Excuse me one moment.
231
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:47,740
Hello there.
232
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:55,940
Are you all right, Gaz?
Hey, you've got mud on your face.
233
00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:57,780
Yes, I know, I fell on it.
234
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,460
It might not be mud.
235
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,500
Hey, go on, Billy!
236
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,100
Kick some arse!
237
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,740
(GIGGLING)
238
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:11,180
Intimidating, aren't they?
239
00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:14,380
Fit and shaggable, but intimidating.
240
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,460
Do you actually think they're sexy?
241
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:18,940
Yeah.
242
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,740
And you like the way they dress?
243
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,020
Yeah.
244
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:24,820
They look like cheap whores.
245
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:26,940
Yeah.
246
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,180
He's gorgeous.
247
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,940
He's like an angel.
248
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:40,300
Go and talk to him.
249
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:44,100
I'll find out...
using subtle detective work.
250
00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:47,180
Hi there.
251
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,380
Are you gay?
252
00:12:50,940 --> 00:12:52,260
Yes.
253
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:55,420
Good for you.
Keep chasing that rainbow.
254
00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:01,500
Action stations, Timothy,
he's a paid-up member
of the brotherhood. Go on.
255
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:05,100
I can't! What if he's another dirty
perv, like those Shagger men?
256
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:10,380
Then it's your lucky day. You've got
to seize the moment - carpe penis.
257
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:13,780
He's coming. Talk to him,
you'll be fine. Go on.
258
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:14,820
Hey.
259
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:16,020
Hey?
260
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:18,380
Oh, I know how this goes.
261
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,580
It starts with a "hey", then you're
flashing your wing-wang at me.
262
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,340
Excuse me?
263
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,540
What's wrong with you, hm? Pervert!
264
00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:28,460
What are you into?
Fisting? Rimming? Shrimping?
265
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:30,460
Sorry, have I said something wrong?
266
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:34,300
You're all the same - only interested
in the contents of my underpants.
267
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,620
Well, there's nothing in there.
268
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:39,900
Well, I mean nothing for you. Do you
think I'm some sort of sex obsessive?
269
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,780
It kind of sounds like you are.
270
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,100
Er, yeah... Well, you wish!
271
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,700
Sorry to disappoint you, but you're
not getting what you want from me.
272
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,500
I just want a drink.
273
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,780
And to say hey.
274
00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:55,460
Oh!
275
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,900
Oh, right. Oh!
276
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,300
Hey!
277
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:00,500
Heh.
278
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,740
(SOFTLY) I think it's
going very well.
279
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:08,100
God, I played like crap.
280
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,780
I might as well be
in the England squad!
281
00:14:10,780 --> 00:14:14,780
Look, I don't think you should
come and watch me play any more,
Cassie.
282
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,540
I know what this is about.
283
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:17,980
You're ashamed of me.
284
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:19,420
No!
285
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:22,180
Look, I don't want to
have to do this, but...
286
00:14:23,220 --> 00:14:25,260
...maybe we should take a break
for a while.
287
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:27,180
Take a break?
288
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,540
We've been shagging
less than a week!
289
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:31,980
But we've done it,
like, a thousand times.
290
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,660
34 and a half, actually.
291
00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:36,060
We got kicked out of
the church halfway through.
292
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:39,460
We probably should have waited
till after that funeral.
293
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,780
I'm sorry, Cassie,
294
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:45,060
but I've got to focus on me football.
295
00:14:45,060 --> 00:14:47,300
Go on, then. You leave.
296
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,020
You walk out that door.
Let's just see if you do it.
297
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,180
OK, bye.
298
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,100
He did it.
299
00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:59,020
Hi, Cassie!
300
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:00,740
Mate.
301
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,900
What d'you want?
302
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:06,580
Well, I just thought that we could
have a friendly chat, like comrades.
303
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:10,220
Sisters. Amigos, if you will.
304
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:12,420
I won't.
305
00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:15,380
Seriously, Cassie, if something's
bothering you, you can talk to me.
306
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,780
It's just Billy.
307
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:21,580
There's all these glammed-up tarts
go to watch him play football
308
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:23,620
and I know he prefers
girls like that to me.
309
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,940
Well, then, you know
what you've gotta do.
310
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:27,860
You've gotta fight fire with fire.
311
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,420
Yeah!
312
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:32,500
I'll get some petrol
and torch the stupid bitches!
313
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:35,820
No-o-o, Cassie.
314
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,420
Fire bad.
315
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:41,020
You've just got to beat them
at their own game.
316
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,100
You've got to see their fake tans
317
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,820
and raise them a push-up bra.
318
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:48,700
Yeah, I guess I could do that.
Yeah.
319
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:51,860
So, now that we've sorted out your
problems, like good girlfriends,
320
00:15:51,860 --> 00:15:53,900
I...I was wondering
if we could have a chat
321
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,700
about some feminine issues
that have been affecting me lately.
322
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,780
I guess.
323
00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:00,780
OK, well...usually
when I menstruate...
324
00:16:00,780 --> 00:16:03,100
Ooh, what is your problem?!
325
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,620
But you're a woman.
326
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:06,340
In the same way that
Victoria Beckham's...
327
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,140
Yeah, yeah, Tim's already
done that one!
328
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,620
I'm sorry for
going a bit mad at you earlier.
329
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:16,300
I've just had some bad experiences
with men lately.
330
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:19,100
I understand. There are a lot
of salacious guys about.
331
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:23,500
Woah! You said "salacious"!
Are you sure you're from round here?
332
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,180
Well, I'm from Frodsham.
Frodsham!
333
00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:28,620
The Monte Carlo of the Northwest!
334
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,900
Is it as magical as people say?
335
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,940
It's ten minutes down the A56.
336
00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,820
The A56!
337
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:35,940
Ha!
338
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:39,180
You know,
I'd really like to get to know you...
339
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,620
um...
Leonard.
340
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:43,100
Yeah, school was
a lot of fun for me(!)
341
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,300
Well, you seem nice, Leonard.
342
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:47,420
And so far, I seem crazy.
343
00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:50,580
Will you give me the chance
to prove I'm not a batshit wacko?
344
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:52,900
(CHUCKLES) That sounds good.
345
00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:54,940
Oh, but I need to pop out
and do something.
346
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,060
Oh, I get it.
347
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:58,300
Is this because I accused you
of being a pervert
348
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,580
and said you wanted to look
at my wing-wang?
349
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,620
No, that stuff's marvellous.
350
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,380
I just left my phone in my car.
351
00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:06,660
I'll come back. Trust me.
352
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,940
I do!
353
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,820
Of course I do!
354
00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:13,700
What's up, Tim?
355
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,500
I've been dumped!
He's never coming back.
356
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:19,100
I've ruined my first chance
at real happiness since Helena.
357
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,860
You've got it easy.
358
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:24,380
I was this close to kicking a ball
again, with everyone watching.
359
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,420
Fell in a pile of mud,
smells like dog shit.
360
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:30,060
I-I-I really want to walk again
and I know I can.
361
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:32,020
I just...
I don't know what's wrong with me.
362
00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:35,620
Well, if your physio thinks
your problems are psychological,
363
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,940
maybe it's the sterner
approach you need.
364
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,940
Our old friend Mr Tough Love.
365
00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:42,660
I could get you angry,
give you a load of abuse
366
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,260
and motivate you to
get out of the chair.
367
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:45,500
I'm game. How do we start?
368
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,700
You're a pathetic little bastard!
369
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,140
Oi, piss off, arsehole!
370
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,780
Oh, sorry!
Was that part of the tough love?
371
00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:55,260
Yes!
372
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:56,620
Ah!
373
00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,420
Look at you! You're hopeless!
374
00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:01,380
I can Riverdance and you can't.
375
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,940
# Hummin-na-na ner ner-ner-ner... #
376
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:08,420
But that's cos I'm not a loser
in a wheelchair.
377
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,140
This is pretty good, cos I wanna
get out the chair and batter you.
378
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:12,580
Go on, let's crank it up a notch.
379
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:13,860
OK, OK.
380
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:17,500
Come on, drag your lazy, fat arse
out of that chair, you useless
invalid.
381
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,580
Why can't you walk
like the rest of us?
382
00:18:19,580 --> 00:18:21,420
Stoopid!
383
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,740
Oh!
What you doing?
384
00:18:24,740 --> 00:18:27,100
Leonard, I wasn't expecting you
to come back.
385
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:30,180
I think the clues were there when
I said, "I'll come back."
386
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,260
I didn't realise
I'd find you doing this.
387
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:35,300
Oh, no, no, no, you don't understand.
388
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:36,940
I was just helping him.
389
00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:38,740
This always works!
390
00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,660
Well, it usually works!
391
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,860
I'll see you, Tim.
392
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:50,700
Oh, no, Leonard, wait!
393
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:51,740
Oh.
394
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:54,140
Don't worry about it, Tim.
He'll be back.
395
00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:55,340
Will he?
396
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:56,700
I pissing well doubt it.
397
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,540
Look, Billy, I know you wanted us
to have a break for a while
398
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:15,340
and I know you didn't
want me coming here
399
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:17,060
but I thought
if I dressed up a little bit...
400
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,900
What are you wearing?!
What, you don't think it's sexy?
401
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,580
Well, I didn't say that.
402
00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:24,660
Good, cos I'm wearing three things
I've never worn before -
403
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:26,380
heels, perfume and knickers.
404
00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:29,700
They're right up me chuff!
405
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,540
But why?
406
00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:37,180
You like wearing ten-year-old
ripped jeans and T-shirts with
407
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:41,700
Well, yeah, but you want me
to be sexy like that lot.
408
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:44,100
Well, it's why
you've been avoiding me.
409
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,660
Because I'm not some Oompa Loompa
with bazumpas like them.
410
00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:48,660
I love the way you are, Cassie.
411
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:49,980
Really?
412
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:54,260
I thought you wanted me
to be glamorous.
413
00:19:55,380 --> 00:19:56,860
I thought you didn't fancy me.
414
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:59,860
No, I fancy you too much -
that's the problem, love.
415
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,660
Anyway, they aren't glamorous.
416
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,700
Rita works down the sewers,
417
00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:08,100
Sharon used to be a trained butcher
418
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,460
and Tracy used to be called Trev.
419
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,980
(SHE LAUGHS)
420
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:17,420
I'm telling you, Cassie,
you're the best-looking
421
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:19,980
Really?
422
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:24,540
Well...
423
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:28,460
in that case, Billy McCormack,
how would you like some company
424
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,860
No way! I've just said,
if I spend the night with you
425
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:32,900
I'm gonna be crap in
tomorrow's football game.
426
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,940
Not happening - football's me life.
427
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:36,860
Oh, well, that's a shame,
428
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:39,420
cos I was thinking of tying you down,
429
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:41,940
and spanking your ball bag
with a spatula.
430
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,940
Football's only a game.
Right, let's go.
431
00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:49,180
Wait, hang on. Aren't you
in the middle of practising now?
432
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:51,460
Oh, yeah! Got caught up
in the moment and all!
433
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,460
That's my man!
434
00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:57,140
John! John!
435
00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:59,100
John!
436
00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:06,620
Well...thanks for meeting me, Hazel.
437
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:08,300
I hope you didn't think it was weird,
438
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,580
me putting up ads around town
saying I wanted to meet people.
439
00:21:11,580 --> 00:21:13,500
I completely understand.
440
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:14,980
I'm very open-minded.
441
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:18,900
Is that a leather belt
you're wearing?
442
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,620
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's nice, isn't it?
443
00:21:20,620 --> 00:21:22,620
Tell me...
444
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:26,940
why do you think it's acceptable
to wear a slaughtered animal
around your waist?
445
00:21:28,980 --> 00:21:31,220
It were three quid in Primark.
446
00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:35,540
Anyway, Hazel, um, now that we're
pals there's something
447
00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:37,500
I'd really like to
talk to someone about.
448
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:40,300
Tell me, Donna, are you passionate
about the environment?
449
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,980
..Yeah.
Really?
450
00:21:42,980 --> 00:21:45,540
..Yeah.
451
00:21:45,540 --> 00:21:47,460
Isn't it...isn't it terrible
452
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:52,100
how all them carbon fumes
are making that oil leak
453
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:56,340
melting those icecaps and killing all
454
00:21:57,460 --> 00:22:02,420
And soon all we'll be left with
is...an oily...polar bear...
455
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:06,460
on a defrosted...
carbon-footprinted icecap.
456
00:22:08,020 --> 00:22:11,820
Did...any of that make sense?
457
00:22:11,820 --> 00:22:14,300
You clearly don't know
what you're talking about, Donna,
458
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:18,140
and the fact that you're wearing
a leather belt says a lot about you.
459
00:22:18,140 --> 00:22:19,420
Look, Stig of the Dump!
460
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:21,980
It doesn't make me a bad person
461
00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:25,180
just because I'm wearing something
that stops my trousers falling down!
462
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:27,100
I don't think we can be friends,
Donna.
463
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:28,780
Oh, yeah? Well,
what a crushing blow(!)
464
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,540
Why don't you go shag a tree, Bono?!
465
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,660
It's really nice having a new
friend.
466
00:22:35,660 --> 00:22:38,060
Especially after my boyfriend
dumped me last week.
467
00:22:38,060 --> 00:22:40,380
Not that I'd use you
as a replacement for John.
468
00:22:40,380 --> 00:22:41,780
Of course not! Huh!
469
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:45,300
Could you cut your hair short
and let me call you Joan?
470
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:48,220
Vot are you vearing?
471
00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:51,060
Hm! Hey, do you like Justin Bieber?
472
00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:53,580
..So, after I cut him up
into small pieces
473
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:56,740
I put him in the deepfreeze
and then I buried him in the woods.
474
00:22:58,140 --> 00:23:02,940
How people consider that murder
I've got no idea! Hm!
475
00:23:02,940 --> 00:23:04,340
Next!
476
00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:07,900
..You know what?
477
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,780
Me too. I think you're really cool,
Donna.
478
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:13,340
You're not a mass murderer?
479
00:23:13,340 --> 00:23:15,100
Or a vampire or a Justin Bieber fan?
480
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:17,740
Course not, silly!
Well, thank God for that.
481
00:23:17,740 --> 00:23:20,340
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
482
00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:24,100
It's just...so hard to meet
other gay women round here.
483
00:23:26,460 --> 00:23:29,020
I never stood a chance with Leonard.
484
00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:30,660
He's way out of my league.
485
00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:32,780
He's from Frodsham, for God's sake!
486
00:23:32,780 --> 00:23:34,300
Frodsham?!
487
00:23:34,300 --> 00:23:35,740
What is he, a millionaire?
488
00:23:35,740 --> 00:23:39,860
Anyway...what about me? I've still
not found a girlie best mate.
489
00:23:39,860 --> 00:23:42,780
(LAUGHS) She's still not
found one yet?!
490
00:23:42,780 --> 00:23:46,740
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
What, you still haven't walked yet?
491
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:50,100
Well, that's sensitive - I wonder
why you ain't got any friends(?)
492
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:55,340
Because they were all eco-freaks,
vampires and...predatory lesbians.
493
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:58,140
Predatory lesbians?
494
00:23:58,140 --> 00:23:59,540
Just shut up, Gaz!
495
00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:01,580
Why don't you just give up?
496
00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:03,940
I could find a friend if I wanted.
497
00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:06,620
Yeah! I could befriend someone
as soon as look at 'em.
498
00:24:06,620 --> 00:24:08,780
Even her!
499
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:11,220
Come to mama, bosom buddy!
500
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:13,740
Well!
501
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:15,940
Hello there, partner!
502
00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:19,700
You look like a nice sort
who'd enjoy a girlie chat.
503
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:20,940
Hm.
504
00:24:20,940 --> 00:24:22,900
That's right!
505
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:24,860
So, have you got a name?
506
00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:27,820
Kerri. People call me Kes.
507
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:29,780
Well, that is brilliant!
508
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:32,460
(LAUGHS) Like the kestrel.
509
00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:34,420
..You know.
510
00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:35,940
The kestrel!
511
00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:38,180
Called Kes!
512
00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:41,820
You know, "Come to, Kes, come to."
513
00:24:41,820 --> 00:24:43,460
You know, "Come to."
514
00:24:43,460 --> 00:24:45,100
You're pissing me off now!
515
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:46,620
But...
516
00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,900
# VANGELIS: Chariots Of Fire
No!
517
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:02,140
Gaz, you walked!
518
00:25:02,140 --> 00:25:03,940
You...you're walking!
Not right now, Donna.
519
00:25:03,940 --> 00:25:06,780
I'm on me arse.
520
00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:10,340
Not, but you got up and walked.
You walked across the pub.
You're on your feet!
521
00:25:10,340 --> 00:25:12,740
No, Donna, I'm still on me arse.
522
00:25:12,740 --> 00:25:14,700
Stop ruining the moment!
Sorry.
523
00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:16,500
Well, can you do it again, Gaz?
524
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,060
Come to, Gaz!
525
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:19,940
Come to!
526
00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:21,660
Come on, Gaz. Try!
527
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:22,940
Er...
528
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:25,740
Think about how you'll be able to
shag me up against the wall again!
529
00:25:25,740 --> 00:25:27,340
And I'm up!
530
00:25:29,460 --> 00:25:31,060
Well...
Oh!
531
00:25:31,060 --> 00:25:34,500
He's back! Oh, my Gaz is back!
532
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:38,820
Well, I guess I found me motivation.
It was just me instinct to protect
533
00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:40,820
Oi, I haven't finished with you.
534
00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:42,940
Oh, yes, you have, sugar tits.
535
00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:45,940
You don't come in my pub and threaten
536
00:25:45,940 --> 00:25:48,060
You gonna make me, Russell Grant?
537
00:25:48,060 --> 00:25:51,900
You're the one that's gonna be
seeing stars in a second, bitch!
538
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,660
Now, get out, you dirty biffer,
and don't come back.
539
00:25:54,660 --> 00:25:56,900
And if you ever threaten
my friends again
540
00:25:56,900 --> 00:26:00,100
I'll open a can of whoop-ass on you
and a big, fat carton of bitch-slap.
541
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:01,700
Leonard!
542
00:26:01,700 --> 00:26:04,020
I didn't think you'd come back.
543
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:06,700
Well, what can I say?
Your drinks are reasonably priced.
544
00:26:06,700 --> 00:26:09,220
I know you just saw me
manhandling that girl
545
00:26:09,220 --> 00:26:11,820
and threatening to bitch-slap her.
Oh, you must think...
546
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,860
I think you're pretty heroic,
Tim, sticking up for
your friends like that.
547
00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:17,740
And you're surprisingly forceful
when you're angry.
548
00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:19,380
I just...
549
00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:22,180
How about you stop talking
whilst I still think you're heroic?
550
00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:24,220
You tend to say the wrong thing
when you speak.
551
00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:27,100
Yeah, I just...
552
00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:33,580
That little piggy
there went to market.
553
00:26:33,580 --> 00:26:35,620
This little piggy went to town.
554
00:26:35,620 --> 00:26:37,260
And this little piggy...
555
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:39,460
It tickles when I do it!
556
00:26:41,420 --> 00:26:44,540
It's amazing, Gaz walking again.
It is a miracle.
557
00:26:45,580 --> 00:26:47,860
It's a modern-day miracle.
Mm.
558
00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:50,580
Like Fearne Cotton's career.
Yeah.
559
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:51,940
So...
560
00:26:51,940 --> 00:26:56,380
I guess you discovered something
561
00:26:56,380 --> 00:26:57,980
What, that I'm a crap friend?
562
00:26:57,980 --> 00:26:59,780
You're not crap!
563
00:26:59,780 --> 00:27:03,060
You helped Gaz to walk again,
you helped me with Leonard
564
00:27:03,060 --> 00:27:04,820
and you helped Cassie with Billy.
565
00:27:04,820 --> 00:27:06,700
You're right!
566
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:09,540
I am freakin' awesome!
567
00:27:10,740 --> 00:27:12,340
So, what did I learn, then?
568
00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:15,820
That you don't need anyone new
because you've got us.
569
00:27:15,820 --> 00:27:18,580
And you can always talk to me
about anything.
570
00:27:19,620 --> 00:27:21,940
Even stuff about your down-belows.
571
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:23,540
Really?
572
00:27:23,540 --> 00:27:25,260
Of course!
573
00:27:25,260 --> 00:27:27,500
So, what's been bothering you
so much lately?
574
00:27:30,820 --> 00:27:32,860
I missed my period,
I think I might be pregnant.
575
00:27:35,220 --> 00:27:38,460
..Go on, put that in there.
Look!
576
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:45,260
The guy at the bar's my ex.
He's a complete psychopath!
577
00:27:45,260 --> 00:27:47,940
I'm such a waste of space.
I've done nothing worthwhile.
578
00:27:47,940 --> 00:27:50,260
I know something major
will happen soon.
579
00:27:50,260 --> 00:27:52,860
Ditch him. Or I will kill him.
580
00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:56,420
You can only be with one of us.
It's either him or me.
581
00:27:56,420 --> 00:27:59,660
Oh. Oh, Donna, it's the hospital.
582
00:27:59,660 --> 00:28:03,660
Are you all right? Yeah. I'm sure...
They have to do some more tests.
583
00:28:03,660 --> 00:28:05,980
I'd like to go out with you, Tim.
584
00:28:05,980 --> 00:28:07,300
Gaz?
44268
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