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All language subtitles for South Park - 27x04 - Wok is Dead.AMZN.FLUX.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,573 --> 00:00:03,575 ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:08,580 --> 00:00:11,932 [THEME MUSIC] 3 00:00:12,062 --> 00:00:13,236 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 4 00:00:13,237 --> 00:00:15,195 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 5 00:00:15,196 --> 00:00:16,675 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 6 00:00:16,806 --> 00:00:18,590 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 7 00:00:18,677 --> 00:00:19,809 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 8 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,679 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 9 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,465 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 10 00:00:23,595 --> 00:00:25,249 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 11 00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:26,468 ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪ 12 00:00:26,598 --> 00:00:28,600 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 13 00:00:28,731 --> 00:00:31,864 ♪ [MUMBLING] ♪ 14 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,082 ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪ 15 00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:34,911 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 16 00:00:38,959 --> 00:00:42,179 [TWANGY GUITAR MUSIC] 17 00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:45,052 Betsy! Betsy! Guess what? 18 00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:47,009 My dad took me to the Asian pop-up store. 19 00:00:47,010 --> 00:00:48,185 Look what I got. 20 00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:50,535 Serenity Labubu. 21 00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:52,755 - Oh, it's so cute! - Isn't it? 22 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,234 I was at the Asian pop-up too. 23 00:00:54,235 --> 00:00:55,323 No way! 24 00:00:55,453 --> 00:00:56,802 Yeah, look what I got. 25 00:00:56,803 --> 00:00:58,499 The Loyalty Labubu! 26 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,763 Oh, my God, it's so cute! 27 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,025 - I know, right? - Yeah, I love it. 28 00:01:03,026 --> 00:01:04,985 Oh, dude, dude, check it out. 29 00:01:05,072 --> 00:01:06,073 It's about to happen again. 30 00:01:06,203 --> 00:01:07,508 Ah, shit. 31 00:01:07,509 --> 00:01:09,859 I actually have Loyalty Labubu already, 32 00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:11,294 and I have a little costume for it. 33 00:01:11,295 --> 00:01:13,515 That is seriously so cute. 34 00:01:13,645 --> 00:01:15,691 Kenny, you guys, girls with Labubus. 35 00:01:15,822 --> 00:01:16,909 It's about to happen again. 36 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,824 - [MUFFLED SPEECH] - Come on! 37 00:01:18,825 --> 00:01:20,217 And then, believe it or not, 38 00:01:20,304 --> 00:01:22,872 I actually have Chestnut Cocoa Labubu. 39 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,482 No way! That is the rarest one. 40 00:01:25,483 --> 00:01:26,963 Isn't it so cute? 41 00:01:27,094 --> 00:01:29,661 So thinking cute! But it's really rare. 42 00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:30,793 Are you sure it's not a knockoff? 43 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:31,881 Oh, dog, here we go. 44 00:01:32,012 --> 00:01:33,534 Yeah, I checked. 45 00:01:33,535 --> 00:01:35,667 If anyone's fake, it's probably yours, you fat bitch. 46 00:01:35,754 --> 00:01:37,365 - Suck it, skank! - Eat shit! 47 00:01:37,495 --> 00:01:38,540 Stupid slut! 48 00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:40,281 [SCREAMING, CHEERING] 49 00:01:40,411 --> 00:01:41,456 Ahh! 50 00:01:41,586 --> 00:01:43,501 [SCREAMS] 51 00:01:43,632 --> 00:01:44,665 Yeah, yeah! 52 00:01:44,676 --> 00:01:46,940 [BLOWS LANDING] 53 00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:48,593 - Yeah, yeah! - Hey! 54 00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:50,986 Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up! 55 00:01:50,987 --> 00:01:53,468 She's rubbing everyone's noses in her Labubus. 56 00:01:53,555 --> 00:01:56,992 Both of you to the counselor's office, now! 57 00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:58,908 - She totally started it! - I did not. 58 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:00,475 Shut up. I did not. 59 00:02:00,562 --> 00:02:02,259 She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu 60 00:02:02,346 --> 00:02:03,781 and started talking shit. 61 00:02:03,782 --> 00:02:06,829 You talk shit about my Labubus every day, whore. 62 00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:09,734 Um... 63 00:02:09,745 --> 00:02:11,399 yea, love your enemies 64 00:02:11,529 --> 00:02:13,488 and pray for those who persecute you. 65 00:02:13,575 --> 00:02:16,098 Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knockoffs. 66 00:02:16,099 --> 00:02:19,494 I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu? 67 00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:21,147 It's a little monster accessory. 68 00:02:21,148 --> 00:02:22,366 They come in blind boxes, 69 00:02:22,497 --> 00:02:23,933 so you never know which one you're gonna get. 70 00:02:24,064 --> 00:02:25,369 Like, you could just luck out 71 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,327 and get a Time to Chill Pajama Gold Labubu. 72 00:02:27,328 --> 00:02:28,764 Oh, my God, that one is so cute. 73 00:02:28,895 --> 00:02:31,113 It's so cute, right? 74 00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:32,593 Uh, all right, ladies, 75 00:02:32,594 --> 00:02:34,377 w-why don't you just give me the dolls 76 00:02:34,378 --> 00:02:35,944 until the end of the school day? 77 00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,381 BOTH: That's not fair! 78 00:02:37,512 --> 00:02:38,730 Go on out to recess. 79 00:02:38,817 --> 00:02:40,602 You can pick up your Labubus after school. 80 00:02:40,732 --> 00:02:43,386 Wow. What kind of counseling was that? 81 00:02:43,387 --> 00:02:45,389 I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude. 82 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,738 Our old counselor was so much better. 83 00:02:47,739 --> 00:02:50,698 [MELANCHOLY MUSIC] 84 00:02:50,699 --> 00:02:56,574 ♪ 85 00:02:56,705 --> 00:02:59,751 [KIDS SCREAMING] 86 00:02:59,838 --> 00:03:01,187 Yeah, yeah, yeah, get some more over there. 87 00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:02,797 This side's starting to fall. 88 00:03:02,798 --> 00:03:04,146 We are the kings of the castle! 89 00:03:04,147 --> 00:03:05,540 Let us in! 90 00:03:05,627 --> 00:03:06,976 Hey, Butters. 91 00:03:07,107 --> 00:03:10,110 Oh, well, uh, hey, Red. 92 00:03:10,197 --> 00:03:12,634 Um, I was just wondering 93 00:03:12,764 --> 00:03:14,157 what you're doing this weekend. 94 00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:19,205 Who, me? 95 00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:20,641 Yeah. 96 00:03:20,642 --> 00:03:22,469 Um, I'm having a birthday party at my house, 97 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:26,604 and I was seeing if maybe you'd want to come hang out? 98 00:03:28,693 --> 00:03:30,433 You're talking about me? 99 00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,392 Yeah, I don't know, it's probably stupid. 100 00:03:32,393 --> 00:03:34,134 I shouldn't have asked. Never mind. 101 00:03:34,264 --> 00:03:35,961 No, no, I'd love to come hang out with you 102 00:03:35,962 --> 00:03:37,005 on your birthday, Red. 103 00:03:37,006 --> 00:03:38,006 Really? You would? 104 00:03:38,007 --> 00:03:39,007 Well, sure! 105 00:03:39,008 --> 00:03:40,443 Okay, that's great. 106 00:03:40,444 --> 00:03:41,879 I'll text you all the details. 107 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,751 Okay, Red, I'll see you there. 108 00:03:43,752 --> 00:03:45,362 Okay, and um, 109 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,102 maybe I'll text you my birthday wishlist, too, 110 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,844 in case, you know, you want to get me a present. 111 00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:50,715 Sure thing! 112 00:03:54,304 --> 00:03:55,579 Oh, my God, you guys, 113 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:57,417 Red wants to hang out with me! 114 00:03:57,418 --> 00:03:59,332 That's incredible! 115 00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,074 Bro, it seems like she really likes you. 116 00:04:01,204 --> 00:04:03,250 [PHONE CHIMES] 117 00:04:03,337 --> 00:04:05,730 BUTTERS: "Really excited to see you Saturday." 118 00:04:05,817 --> 00:04:07,036 Whoa. 119 00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,169 - Me and Red. - Lucky. 120 00:04:09,256 --> 00:04:10,518 [NOTIFICATION SWOOSHES] 121 00:04:10,648 --> 00:04:14,260 BUTTERS: "Here is my birthday gift wishlist." 122 00:04:14,261 --> 00:04:16,001 [NOTIFICATIONS SWOOSH] 123 00:04:16,002 --> 00:04:19,005 "This exact Labubu." 124 00:04:21,311 --> 00:04:25,750 Holy shit, you guys, you know what I think? 125 00:04:25,881 --> 00:04:28,230 I think on Saturday I'm gonna find out if red-haired girls 126 00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:29,492 have a red bush! 127 00:04:29,493 --> 00:04:31,104 - Wow! - Wow! 128 00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:33,193 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 129 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:34,715 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 130 00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:36,326 [SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 131 00:04:36,413 --> 00:04:41,896 ♪ ♪ 132 00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:44,204 Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store. 133 00:04:44,291 --> 00:04:46,727 Can I take a order, please? 134 00:04:46,728 --> 00:04:49,557 Wait, didn't this place used to be City Wok? 135 00:04:49,687 --> 00:04:51,733 Yeah, but whole country change. 136 00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:52,745 Didn't you hear the news? 137 00:04:52,811 --> 00:04:54,377 Wok is dead. 138 00:04:54,388 --> 00:04:56,999 This City Pop-Up now. What do you like to have? 139 00:04:57,010 --> 00:04:58,401 We got City Pop-up key chains, 140 00:04:58,522 --> 00:04:59,915 City cell phone charm, 141 00:05:00,046 --> 00:05:01,656 City anime sculpture. 142 00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:03,961 Well, actually, I'm looking for a Labubu. 143 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,302 Ah, yeah, everyone love Labubu. 144 00:05:06,313 --> 00:05:07,965 They real hard to keep in stock. 145 00:05:07,966 --> 00:05:10,142 Very expensive 'cause of tariffs. 146 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,796 You know, uh, it's really important. 147 00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,233 I got this new girlfriend, 148 00:05:13,244 --> 00:05:15,551 and she wants this specific Labubu for her birthday. 149 00:05:15,744 --> 00:05:17,745 Oh, that very rare Labubu. 150 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:19,935 You only find that in a mystery box. 151 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,458 Mystery box? 152 00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:23,254 Hi. Are you guys still serving food? 153 00:05:23,265 --> 00:05:25,527 No, no, no, Wok is dead. Haven't you heard the news? 154 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,333 ♪ 155 00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:29,226 Can't I just buy this Labubu? 156 00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:30,717 No, that not the way it work. 157 00:05:30,728 --> 00:05:32,729 You buy mystery box, you open it, 158 00:05:32,730 --> 00:05:34,341 hopefully you get the one you want. 159 00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:36,124 Okay, how much is a mystery box? 160 00:05:36,696 --> 00:05:38,083 $85. 161 00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:39,291 85? 162 00:05:39,302 --> 00:05:40,875 Yeah, you gotta pay tariff. 163 00:05:40,886 --> 00:05:42,764 You think I pay tariff? No, no, no, no. 164 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,124 You pay tariff. 165 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,683 Well, okay, I'll take one. 166 00:05:45,694 --> 00:05:48,915 ♪ ♪ 167 00:05:48,926 --> 00:05:50,711 _ 168 00:05:50,722 --> 00:05:53,934 _ 169 00:05:53,945 --> 00:05:57,035 _ 170 00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:59,677 _ 171 00:05:59,688 --> 00:06:01,776 Yeah, well, Wok is dead, you stupid bitch! 172 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,239 Stop nagging me! 173 00:06:03,336 --> 00:06:05,085 - [PACKAGE TEARS] - BUTTERS: Ah, dang it! 174 00:06:05,096 --> 00:06:06,405 This is the wrong one! 175 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:08,505 Oh, yeah, that just Happiness Labubu. 176 00:06:08,592 --> 00:06:09,940 Very common. Very common. 177 00:06:10,099 --> 00:06:11,970 You try again, $85. 178 00:06:11,981 --> 00:06:14,031 I have to pay another $85 179 00:06:14,032 --> 00:06:15,730 and I still might not get the one I want? 180 00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,742 Hey, it's not me, it's your government. 181 00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:19,114 I don't get fucked by tariff. 182 00:06:19,396 --> 00:06:20,821 You get fucked by tariff. 183 00:06:20,822 --> 00:06:23,565 In China, we call that hot potato. 184 00:06:23,576 --> 00:06:24,631 [DYNAMIC MUSIC] 185 00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:27,044 ANNOUNCER: You're watching Fox News. 186 00:06:27,651 --> 00:06:29,646 REPORTER: The president has just returned 187 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,659 from his historic tariff summit overseas. 188 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,575 There's the president now, looking handsome as ever. 189 00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:37,491 Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness, 190 00:06:37,621 --> 00:06:40,624 who's been traveling with the president as of late. 191 00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:42,636 The president has made his way off of Air Force One 192 00:06:42,647 --> 00:06:44,866 and will now speak to a diverse crowd of reporters. 193 00:06:44,923 --> 00:06:46,663 [REPORTERS CLAMORING] 194 00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,371 Mr. Pre... Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go? 195 00:06:49,372 --> 00:06:51,113 Ah, they went great, buddy! 196 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,854 [REPORTERS CLAMORING] 197 00:06:52,865 --> 00:06:55,520 Mr. President, we're all dying to know something. 198 00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,837 Your wife, Melania, has been staying in New York 199 00:06:58,033 --> 00:06:59,425 and away from the White House. 200 00:06:59,426 --> 00:07:00,688 That's right! 201 00:07:00,699 --> 00:07:03,746 Well, what Fox News really wants to know is 202 00:07:03,995 --> 00:07:05,823 are you fucking Satan? 203 00:07:07,085 --> 00:07:09,262 No! I'm not fucking Satan! 204 00:07:09,392 --> 00:07:11,873 We're just sorta hanging out. 205 00:07:12,003 --> 00:07:13,788 Oh, come on, President Trump. 206 00:07:13,799 --> 00:07:15,235 With everything you've been doing, 207 00:07:15,246 --> 00:07:17,596 pretty much the whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now. 208 00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,652 I'm not fucking Satan! 209 00:07:19,663 --> 00:07:22,057 Can we go, please? 210 00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,583 He is fucking Satan. 211 00:07:26,594 --> 00:07:28,422 That guy's definitely fucking Satan. 212 00:07:28,629 --> 00:07:29,662 What a stud. 213 00:07:29,673 --> 00:07:31,441 Yeah, Fox News! 214 00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:34,112 PC PRINCIPAL: All right, everyone, listen up, 215 00:07:34,123 --> 00:07:35,776 As you know, there's a lot being done in the country 216 00:07:35,897 --> 00:07:37,812 to bring Christian values back to our schools. 217 00:07:37,899 --> 00:07:39,509 Our new school counselor has some concerns 218 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:40,630 that I understand he'd like to voice. 219 00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:41,660 Go ahead, Jesus. 220 00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:46,386 Well, I'm just a bit confused 221 00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:48,518 about the dramatic rise in fist fighting 222 00:07:48,649 --> 00:07:50,128 over these Labubus. 223 00:07:50,259 --> 00:07:51,304 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. 224 00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:52,479 Oh, the Labubus. 225 00:07:52,609 --> 00:07:54,523 Kids go nuts for 'em. 226 00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:57,874 I just don't quite understand what the fascination is. 227 00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,045 Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know. 228 00:08:00,056 --> 00:08:02,493 They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one. 229 00:08:02,504 --> 00:08:04,984 Yeah, and then all the kids make their Labubu TikToks. 230 00:08:05,522 --> 00:08:06,927 Labubu TikTok? 231 00:08:06,928 --> 00:08:08,495 Yeah, the kids make 'em and they watch 'em. 232 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:09,930 I can pull one up. 233 00:08:09,931 --> 00:08:12,629 This is Kelly Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class. 234 00:08:12,716 --> 00:08:15,675 Hey, guys, this is another Labubu unboxing video! 235 00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:16,938 I got this Labubu online. 236 00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:18,243 I'm pretty sure it's not a Lafufu. 237 00:08:18,244 --> 00:08:19,723 I got the QR code right here. 238 00:08:19,854 --> 00:08:21,725 We're gonna see what we got. Hope it's a rare one. 239 00:08:21,856 --> 00:08:23,900 If it is, I'm absolutely gonna freak out. 240 00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:26,295 Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see! 241 00:08:26,426 --> 00:08:28,688 ♪ Labu ♪ 242 00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:30,516 [SCREAMING] 243 00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:31,866 Oh, my God! 244 00:08:31,996 --> 00:08:33,737 Oh, my God! 245 00:08:33,748 --> 00:08:35,618 Okay, okay, let's start the ritual. 246 00:08:35,739 --> 00:08:36,913 ♪ Labubu ♪ 247 00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:40,309 ♪ Labu-bu ♪ 248 00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:43,137 ♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪ 249 00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:45,922 ♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪ 250 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:47,751 ♪ Labubu, Labubu ♪ 251 00:08:47,882 --> 00:08:50,363 [STATIC DRONING, HEAVY BREATHING] 252 00:08:50,493 --> 00:08:53,888 [SCREAMING] 253 00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:57,375 What the hell was that? 254 00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:59,719 That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok. 255 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,983 Kids go nuts for 'em. 256 00:09:02,113 --> 00:09:04,551 But that's, like, some dark Satanic ritual. 257 00:09:04,681 --> 00:09:06,334 Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic. 258 00:09:06,455 --> 00:09:07,891 Yeah, dark magic. 259 00:09:07,902 --> 00:09:09,424 I don't know if they come that way from China, 260 00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:11,993 or the kids are infusing them with some Sumerian dark entity. 261 00:09:12,004 --> 00:09:13,310 It's Mesopotamian. 262 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,105 Got it. So what are your major concerns, Jesus? 263 00:09:18,116 --> 00:09:19,290 Bro. 264 00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:20,686 That's not normal. 265 00:09:20,697 --> 00:09:22,264 These kids are in trouble. 266 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,962 Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor. 267 00:09:25,093 --> 00:09:27,965 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 268 00:09:28,096 --> 00:09:29,532 ♪ ♪ 269 00:09:32,644 --> 00:09:35,647 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 270 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,095 [SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 271 00:09:38,106 --> 00:09:40,195 Welcome City Pop-Up. Take order, please. 272 00:09:40,577 --> 00:09:43,405 I have $88.42 in here. 273 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,981 I need to buy another mystery box. 274 00:09:44,982 --> 00:09:48,377 Oh, sorry, Labubu mystery box $120. 275 00:09:48,508 --> 00:09:50,423 What? It was $85! 276 00:09:50,553 --> 00:09:52,250 Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up! 277 00:09:52,261 --> 00:09:54,262 You never know with tariffs. They make no sense. 278 00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:55,808 But that's not fair! 279 00:09:55,819 --> 00:09:57,820 Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair! 280 00:09:57,821 --> 00:10:00,389 Please, sir, my girlfriend's party is today, 281 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,835 and I have to get the Labubu she wants. 282 00:10:02,171 --> 00:10:04,164 - Please! - It's okay, it's okay. 283 00:10:04,295 --> 00:10:05,775 I have idea. 284 00:10:05,786 --> 00:10:07,875 You want mystery box for cheap price? 285 00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:10,170 You use claw machine. 286 00:10:10,181 --> 00:10:11,443 You try your luck. 287 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,285 Use claw machine to get a mystery box, 288 00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:16,429 open it up, hopefully you get good Labubu you want. 289 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,440 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 290 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,060 ♪ Labubu ♪ 291 00:10:19,234 --> 00:10:21,976 ♪ Labu-labu-labu ♪ 292 00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:23,771 ♪ Labubu ♪ 293 00:10:23,978 --> 00:10:26,849 ♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪ 294 00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,155 MR. KIM: Oh, you so close. 295 00:10:28,156 --> 00:10:29,200 Try again. 296 00:10:29,331 --> 00:10:31,855 Oh, jeez. 297 00:10:31,986 --> 00:10:33,617 ♪ Labubu ♪ 298 00:10:33,628 --> 00:10:35,574 _ 299 00:10:35,642 --> 00:10:37,160 Oh, here we go. 300 00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:39,869 I get screwed by tariffs, so I have to screw the children! 301 00:10:40,255 --> 00:10:41,691 What do you not understand? 302 00:10:41,822 --> 00:10:42,822 [HUFFS] 303 00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:46,009 _ 304 00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,987 Yeah, well, Wok's not coming back, bitch! 305 00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:49,699 Go wok, go brok! 306 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:51,397 - [MACHINE BEEPS] - ♪ Labu ♪ 307 00:10:52,215 --> 00:10:54,913 JESUS: Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray. 308 00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:58,315 The reason I called you in today is because your girls were 309 00:10:58,316 --> 00:11:00,918 in a major altercation over their Labubus. 310 00:11:00,929 --> 00:11:03,366 Okay, so what are you gonna do about it? 311 00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:05,759 Well, I was hoping we could work together 312 00:11:05,889 --> 00:11:08,325 to maybe just keep them away from the Labubus. 313 00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:10,458 Oh, sure, just take their Labubus away. 314 00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,112 Great counseling. 315 00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,724 Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using 316 00:11:14,855 --> 00:11:17,945 Labubus for some kind of... ritual. 317 00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:20,263 Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one. 318 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,509 They're the only ones girls can use in dark rituals. 319 00:11:23,124 --> 00:11:24,864 You know that they're demonic? 320 00:11:24,865 --> 00:11:27,258 Yeah. What are we supposed to do? 321 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,750 My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning demonic forces 322 00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:33,111 on TikTok, then she wants to be like Kelly Miller. 323 00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,647 Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces? 324 00:11:35,658 --> 00:11:37,355 I don't know, she hung herself. 325 00:11:37,366 --> 00:11:39,934 Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok. 326 00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:41,758 Oh, yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok. 327 00:11:42,056 --> 00:11:43,710 That's some clever counseling there. 328 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,842 - Do you have kids? - No, I don't. 329 00:11:45,929 --> 00:11:47,540 - Figures. - Well, when you do, 330 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:48,976 you try and keep 'em off of TikTok 331 00:11:48,987 --> 00:11:50,728 and out of the Asian pop-up store. 332 00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:53,720 Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store? 333 00:11:53,731 --> 00:11:56,036 That's where the girls get all the Labubus. 334 00:11:56,113 --> 00:11:57,592 Where did they find this guy? 335 00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,682 We told you he was a crappy counselor 336 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,807 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Alert! 337 00:12:04,818 --> 00:12:07,734 As debates on American tariffs continue, 338 00:12:07,745 --> 00:12:10,138 the question on every American's mind tonight, 339 00:12:10,345 --> 00:12:13,173 is President Trump fucking Satan? 340 00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:15,349 The president's been seen less and less with his wife 341 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:17,221 and more often with his new pal, 342 00:12:17,232 --> 00:12:19,060 making people all around the world say, 343 00:12:19,136 --> 00:12:22,400 "Donald Trump has got to be fucking Satan, for sure." 344 00:12:22,565 --> 00:12:24,696 Well, for all of us who are still skeptical 345 00:12:24,707 --> 00:12:26,708 that President Trump is fucking Satan, 346 00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:28,450 Fox News has obtained some footage 347 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,408 of President Trump seeming to be fucking Satan. 348 00:12:31,409 --> 00:12:33,107 This was at a golf course yesterday 349 00:12:33,194 --> 00:12:35,196 where the president was heroically golfing. 350 00:12:35,207 --> 00:12:37,079 You can just make out Satan going behind a bush 351 00:12:37,328 --> 00:12:38,895 and President Trump right there... 352 00:12:38,982 --> 00:12:41,028 he's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you think? 353 00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:43,433 I think the president is definitely fucking Satan, 354 00:12:43,683 --> 00:12:45,685 and I love it. 355 00:12:45,696 --> 00:12:47,306 Of course, a lot of Americans still argue 356 00:12:47,556 --> 00:12:49,949 there's no way the president could be fucking Satan. 357 00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,951 So we have a body language expert to show us 358 00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:53,866 just how it is possible. 359 00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,913 Well, if Mr. President Trump is fucking Satan... 360 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,740 and I'm not saying if he is or isn't. 361 00:12:58,741 --> 00:13:00,960 I'm just kinda hoping he is... 362 00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,615 he mostly likely is coming in from the back. 363 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,095 Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence, 364 00:13:06,096 --> 00:13:08,228 so we're pretty sure President Trump would have to get on top 365 00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:09,578 - and... - Ah! 366 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,155 Oh, my God, the president is doing things 367 00:13:11,232 --> 00:13:12,758 no other president has done before. 368 00:13:12,769 --> 00:13:13,942 I love him. 369 00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:15,867 If you don't think President Trump is fucking Satan, 370 00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:17,934 this definitely proves how he could be! 371 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:21,023 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 372 00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:25,420 [SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 373 00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:28,945 [ANGELIC TONES] 374 00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:31,948 Welcome to City Asian Pop-Up Store. 375 00:13:32,155 --> 00:13:33,635 Take order, please. 376 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,995 Are you the one that has been selling all these Labubus 377 00:13:36,062 --> 00:13:37,671 to my students? 378 00:13:37,682 --> 00:13:39,031 Oh, boy. 379 00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:41,305 Look, it not my fault, these city prices, okay? 380 00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:42,992 Labubus very expensive. 381 00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:45,221 Those dolls you are selling are cursed! 382 00:13:45,298 --> 00:13:46,754 Yeah, no shit they cursed. 383 00:13:46,765 --> 00:13:49,114 It's called tariff. You pass it along. 384 00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,474 I get the curse, I put the curse on you. 385 00:13:50,869 --> 00:13:52,218 It's like AIDS. 386 00:13:52,229 --> 00:13:53,666 BUTTERS: Oh, my God, I got it! 387 00:13:53,872 --> 00:13:56,048 I got the super rare! 388 00:13:56,059 --> 00:13:57,712 Hey, what the hell you talking about? 389 00:13:57,713 --> 00:13:59,280 This is the one my girlfriend wants! 390 00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,206 Now I can take it to her birthday party! 391 00:14:01,422 --> 00:14:03,423 My child, put that down, it's dangerous! 392 00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:06,176 Hey, hey, hold on, that's super rare Labubu. 393 00:14:06,187 --> 00:14:08,842 That worth, like, $600. You gotta pay more tariff. 394 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:13,065 _ 395 00:14:13,076 --> 00:14:15,077 Oh, my God, will you go away? 396 00:14:15,078 --> 00:14:16,731 Listen, both of you! 397 00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:19,067 There are more important issues at hand. 398 00:14:19,078 --> 00:14:21,559 My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party. 399 00:14:23,407 --> 00:14:25,104 Ah, shit, where he go? 400 00:14:46,723 --> 00:14:48,156 Satan? 401 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,593 Why are you so sad? 402 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:56,641 I wish to be gone from this place. 403 00:14:56,971 --> 00:14:59,068 I do not understand. 404 00:14:59,079 --> 00:15:00,907 If you do not want to be here, 405 00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:03,303 then why do you stay? 406 00:15:03,817 --> 00:15:08,299 I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny. 407 00:15:08,436 --> 00:15:13,266 I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot 408 00:15:13,534 --> 00:15:17,843 because of what's in this box. 409 00:15:19,637 --> 00:15:21,770 What's in the box? 410 00:15:21,957 --> 00:15:24,626 The secret none must know, 411 00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:28,750 and yet, all will soon discover. 412 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,764 I can feel the tides of change. 413 00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:36,015 The final showdown is upon us. 414 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,820 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 415 00:15:44,167 --> 00:15:48,345 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 416 00:15:48,476 --> 00:15:50,217 [BLOWS LANDING] 417 00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:51,913 [DOORBELL RINGS] 418 00:15:51,914 --> 00:15:54,394 ♪ 419 00:15:55,096 --> 00:15:56,865 Happy birthday, Red! 420 00:15:56,876 --> 00:15:58,044 Butters. 421 00:15:58,055 --> 00:16:00,405 Wait. Is that what I think it is? 422 00:16:00,713 --> 00:16:03,803 Well, you'll have to wait till you open it to find out... 423 00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,187 Oh, all right then. 424 00:16:05,188 --> 00:16:08,147 ♪ 425 00:16:08,174 --> 00:16:09,741 [SCREAMING] 426 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,440 I love you, Butters! 427 00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:14,763 Wow! 428 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:15,929 I got it, you guys! 429 00:16:16,112 --> 00:16:17,679 - Oh, wow! - It's so cool! 430 00:16:17,766 --> 00:16:19,201 Oh, it's so cute! 431 00:16:19,202 --> 00:16:20,595 I got the super rare, 432 00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:22,205 all thanks to Butters. 433 00:16:22,336 --> 00:16:24,120 So are you gonna do it? 434 00:16:24,207 --> 00:16:26,556 Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs and do it! 435 00:16:26,623 --> 00:16:28,059 Whoa! We're gonna what? 436 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,419 Come up to my room, Butters! 437 00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:30,463 Oh, my God! 438 00:16:30,474 --> 00:16:31,889 ♪ ♪ 439 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,119 Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it, 440 00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:34,490 come on up! 441 00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:35,980 - Okay, yeah. - Great. 442 00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:37,906 Oh! This is all really sudden, Red! 443 00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:38,960 Wait! 444 00:16:38,961 --> 00:16:41,268 [ENGINE REVVING, TIRES SQUEAL] 445 00:16:42,389 --> 00:16:43,399 [LINE RINGING] 446 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,185 [PHONE RINGING] 447 00:16:46,186 --> 00:16:48,840 South Park Elementary. I'm sorry, we're closed. 448 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,233 Bev! I need to know which of the students 449 00:16:50,364 --> 00:16:52,279 has a birthday today. 450 00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:53,443 Who is this? 451 00:16:53,454 --> 00:16:55,499 It's me, Jesus! 452 00:16:55,826 --> 00:16:56,871 Who? 453 00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:58,187 The school counselor! 454 00:16:58,198 --> 00:17:00,895 Oh. I don't know who has a birthday today. 455 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,419 That was actually always the counselor's job. 456 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,553 Can you just look it up in the school records, please? 457 00:17:06,702 --> 00:17:07,815 Hang on. 458 00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,176 Guess I'm doing your job too now. 459 00:17:11,385 --> 00:17:13,473 Okay, okay. Oh, my God. 460 00:17:13,484 --> 00:17:15,616 I'm so excited to finally do it. 461 00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:18,587 Well, yeah, I guess I'm excited to do it, too, Red. 462 00:17:18,784 --> 00:17:20,480 Okay, I think we're all ready. 463 00:17:20,481 --> 00:17:22,613 Here, you take a video of the whole thing. 464 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,919 Whoa! Can't we just kiss first? 465 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,043 Hey! What's up, guys? This is my TikTok Labubu video. 466 00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:30,317 I got the super rare, so let's see if it works. 467 00:17:30,447 --> 00:17:31,753 Hey, we want to watch. 468 00:17:31,764 --> 00:17:33,810 Yeah, come on in, you guys. 469 00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:36,496 [CHICKEN CLUCKING] 470 00:17:36,497 --> 00:17:38,412 [ALL CHANTING] Labubu, Labubu. 471 00:17:38,499 --> 00:17:40,108 Labubu, Labubu. 472 00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:42,502 - What the heck's going on? - ALL: Labubu, Labubu. 473 00:17:42,503 --> 00:17:43,851 - [KNIFE SLASHING, CHICKEN CRIES] - Ah! 474 00:17:43,852 --> 00:17:44,877 [SLURPING] 475 00:17:44,887 --> 00:17:45,954 Oh, God! 476 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,357 [RETCHING] 477 00:17:52,295 --> 00:17:54,994 [ELECTRICITY SPARKING] 478 00:17:55,081 --> 00:17:56,691 ALL: Labubu, Labubu. 479 00:17:56,822 --> 00:18:00,303 Labubu, Labubu. 480 00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:02,435 Here he comes! 481 00:18:02,436 --> 00:18:05,264 [LOW GROANING] 482 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,038 Ah! 483 00:18:07,049 --> 00:18:08,746 We call the demonic forces! 484 00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:11,150 Appear before us at my birthday party! 485 00:18:11,271 --> 00:18:12,663 This is so cool! 486 00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:15,275 [GROWLING] 487 00:18:15,524 --> 00:18:17,396 Ta-da! 488 00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:19,431 ALL: Ew! 489 00:18:19,442 --> 00:18:21,270 Wait, that thing is fucking Satan? 490 00:18:21,552 --> 00:18:24,109 No! I'm not fucking Satan! 491 00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:26,112 [GROWLS] 492 00:18:26,242 --> 00:18:28,330 [SCREAMING] 493 00:18:28,331 --> 00:18:31,813 ANNOUNCER: This is a Fox News Super Alert! 494 00:18:31,824 --> 00:18:34,956 We may just have another Trump and Satan spotting. 495 00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:36,546 The two are rumored to be 496 00:18:36,557 --> 00:18:38,123 in a small mountain town in the Rockies. 497 00:18:38,124 --> 00:18:40,169 Let's go to our Colorado affiliate. 498 00:18:40,180 --> 00:18:41,183 [METAL SCRAPING, WIND BLOWING] 499 00:18:41,194 --> 00:18:42,867 Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds 500 00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,086 and swarms of locusts here. 501 00:18:45,087 --> 00:18:47,523 Um, probably another Labubu party. 502 00:18:47,524 --> 00:18:49,177 You know, whenever there's a Labubu party, 503 00:18:49,178 --> 00:18:51,571 the president and Satan usually make an appearance. 504 00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:52,965 We've got our eye in the sky now. 505 00:18:53,095 --> 00:18:54,488 Guys, what are you seeing? 506 00:18:54,924 --> 00:18:56,358 REPORTER: Yeah, you can see little girls 507 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:57,812 running and screaming. 508 00:18:57,823 --> 00:18:59,607 The president just coming out onto the front lawn... 509 00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:01,582 and yes, there is Satan. 510 00:19:01,712 --> 00:19:03,627 They're definitely hanging out. 511 00:19:04,129 --> 00:19:06,325 Come on, let's go! 512 00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:08,850 JESUS: Lucifer! 513 00:19:10,076 --> 00:19:11,250 So... 514 00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:13,549 it is you. 515 00:19:13,550 --> 00:19:15,682 Just what are you doing, Satan? 516 00:19:15,683 --> 00:19:17,379 I will know. 517 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:19,000 [BRAKES SQUEALING] 518 00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:21,927 Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene 519 00:19:22,298 --> 00:19:24,560 for some kind of biblical showdown. 520 00:19:24,561 --> 00:19:26,823 I have seen your evil at work, Satan. 521 00:19:26,824 --> 00:19:29,348 I bid you leave this realm at once. 522 00:19:29,349 --> 00:19:31,568 You think I don't want to leave? 523 00:19:31,699 --> 00:19:33,657 I am bound to him! 524 00:19:34,057 --> 00:19:35,884 Bound to him how? 525 00:19:36,064 --> 00:19:38,314 All right, fine! Here! 526 00:19:38,401 --> 00:19:40,795 You all want to know the truth? 527 00:19:42,743 --> 00:19:45,137 Yes! We're together! 528 00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:47,148 We've been together for months, 529 00:19:47,149 --> 00:19:50,587 and I want to leave him, but I can't 530 00:19:50,911 --> 00:19:53,087 because... 531 00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:54,845 I'm pregnant. 532 00:20:03,383 --> 00:20:05,166 He's pregnant? 533 00:20:05,243 --> 00:20:06,418 Whoa. 534 00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:08,257 So now you all know. 535 00:20:08,388 --> 00:20:10,781 I am forced to stay in this situation 536 00:20:10,868 --> 00:20:12,696 for several more years. 537 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:19,268 Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House 538 00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:21,368 because he's pregnant. 539 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,328 Uh, let's get our science expert in here 540 00:20:23,577 --> 00:20:25,796 to see if that's actually possible. 541 00:20:25,883 --> 00:20:29,278 Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different. 542 00:20:29,648 --> 00:20:32,096 The term is "butt baby." 543 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:33,673 All right, well, that seems to be it. 544 00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:36,938 Satan is pregnant with the president's child. 545 00:20:36,949 --> 00:20:39,647 So Fox News can now confirm 546 00:20:39,658 --> 00:20:42,661 Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this whole time. 547 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,102 Yeah! [CHEERING] 548 00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:45,554 This is a great day for Fox News. 549 00:20:45,555 --> 00:20:47,861 Yes, Fox News! 550 00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:49,472 For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump 551 00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:51,083 wasn't fucking Satan, 552 00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,856 in your face! 553 00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:54,608 We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock. 554 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:57,088 Kid, you must be overcome with emotion. 555 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,438 I just... I just honestly didn't think 556 00:20:59,439 --> 00:21:01,702 the president was fucking Satan, but 557 00:21:01,713 --> 00:21:04,499 now knowing that he has been this whole time, 558 00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:07,576 I'm just so happy. 559 00:21:07,577 --> 00:21:10,972 [BELL RINGS] 560 00:21:10,983 --> 00:21:13,593 JESUS: Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson. 561 00:21:14,279 --> 00:21:16,717 If you mess around and you aren't safe, 562 00:21:16,728 --> 00:21:19,514 it can have really big consequences. 563 00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:23,935 Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time. 564 00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:25,827 And I'm done with Labubus. 565 00:21:25,838 --> 00:21:28,188 Well, that's good, because as your counselor, 566 00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:30,426 I'm banning Labubus from school. 567 00:21:30,513 --> 00:21:33,125 And TikTok. And cell phones. 568 00:21:33,255 --> 00:21:34,343 Now get back to class. 569 00:21:34,474 --> 00:21:35,997 You both have detention for two weeks. 570 00:21:36,203 --> 00:21:38,336 Oh, man! 571 00:21:38,347 --> 00:21:40,479 Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick. 572 00:21:40,646 --> 00:21:43,736 Yeah, but he's better than the last guy. 573 00:21:47,335 --> 00:21:49,291 ♪ Labubu ♪ 574 00:21:49,315 --> 00:21:51,360 ♪ La, labu-labu ♪ 575 00:21:54,537 --> 00:21:57,453 [THEME MUSIC] 576 00:21:57,540 --> 00:22:04,417 ♪ ♪ 577 00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:10,781 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 40504