All language subtitles for Franklin.&.Bash.S02E01.Episode.1.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

WHOO! OH, MAN.

THAT IS THE WAY
TO START A MONDAY, HUH?

YEAH, THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM
LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

ACTUALLY, THEY'RE BRAND-NEW.

-YEAH, THEY ARE.
-HOW MUCH?

WELL, BECAUSE STANTON INFELD
RECOMMENDED YOU...

$15,000.

-WHOA.
-WHOO!

HOW MUCH FOR ONE?

EACH. $15,000 EACH.

HOW MUCH FOR IT
WITH A AAA DISCOUNT CARD?

-REALLY?
-GIVE US A SECOND.

[ SIGHS ] DUDE, COME ON. WE GOT
EQUITY PARTNER BONUS MONEY.

IT'S BURNING A HOLE IN MY POCKET.

IF WE DON'T SPEND IT,
IT'S GONNA BURN OUR JUNK.

-COME ON. YEAH.
-LET'S DO IT.

ALL RIGHT. WE'LL TAKE 'EM.
WE'LL TAKE 'EM.

YEAH. WE'RE GONNA RIDE 'EM
OUT OF HERE, TOO.

IF YOU COULD TOW BACK
THE PRIUS, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

WE HAVE TO DO THE PAPERWORK.

-OKAY. WE CAN DO THE --
-[ SIGHS ]

WHAT?

-I FORGOT. PINDY.
-THE CHEESE GUY.

HEY! WHAT ABOUT THE BIKES?

UH,
DO YOU GUYS DELIVER?

NOT IF YOU DON'T
SIGN THE PAPERS.

WE'LL COME BACK FOR THEM.
JUST HOLD ON TO THEM.

-HANG ONTO THEM.
-YEAH.

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

-HANNA!
-EVANTHIA.

WHAT A PLEASURE.
WHO DO WE HAVE HERE?

THIS IS LULU.
WHAT A LOVELY DRESS.

I SAW ONE JUST LIKE THAT
AT CABAZON.

[ Laughing ] I DOUBT IT.
I DON'T SHOP OUTLETS.

ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR YOUR EX-HUSBAND --

NO, I'M LOOKING FOR YOU.
IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING

THAT YOU'RE HANDLING
MY CUSTODY CASE.

-CUSTODY CASE?
-YES.

SOME BITCH IS TRYING
TO TAKE LULU AWAY FROM ME.

AND YOU WANT TO STOP THEM?

-EVANTHIA, DARLING.
-STANTON.

HOW'S MY FAVORITE...

...EX-WIFE?

BETTER NOW
THAT I'M IN YOUR ARMS.

YOU WANT ME TO CLEAR THE ROOM?

-HELLO, DAMIEN.
-AUNT EVANTHIA.

DAMIEN AND HANNA ARE
GOING TO HANDLE YOUR CASE.

-OH.
-I KNOW.

I'M EXCITED, TOO.

WELL, WE'RE OFF TO THE GRILL,
BUT FIRST,

I'VE GOT SOMETHING
I WANT TO SHOW YOU

IN MY OFFICE.

AWESOME.

I GOT IT HERE SOMEWHERE.

I FOUND IT ON MY CAR WINDSHIELD
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO.

IT'S A FRANKLIN AND BASH
25% OFF COUPON.

WELL, SORRY, BUT, UH, WE --
WE CAN'T HONOR THAT.

IT SAYS
GOOD FOR THREE YEARS.

WE'RE HERE NOW.

I NEED THE DISCOUNT.

IN FACT, I'M GONNA NEED
ALL THE HELP I CAN GET

TO PAY FOR LEGAL FEES.

HERE, CAN I TRADE YOU
A TILLAMOOK?

[ SIGHS ]
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

IF WE DECIDE
TO TAKE YOUR CASE --

AND I'M NOT SAYING
WE ARE --

YOU DON'T PAY US AT ALL,

MOST SPECIFICALLY
NOT IN BACKPACK CHEESE.

OH, I'M SO ASHAMED.

I ROBBED A PIZZA PLACE.

AND I DID IT BECAUSE
I'M TAKING CARE OF MY DAD,

WHO HAS EMPHYSEMA,

AND I LOST MY JOB AND --
AND WE WERE SHORT ON RENT.

TELL THEM ABOUT THE GUN.

I CARVED A GUN
OUT OF HARD CHEESE AND

THEN I COATED IT
IN A DARK-COLORED RIND.

I DIDN'T
WANT TO HURT ANYONE.

AND GUESS WHAT.

UH, YOU GOT RID OF IT
BY EATING IT?

YOU GUYS ARE REALLY SMART.

[ LAUGHTER ]

-WOW.
-IT WAS A GOOD SIZE.

IT WASN'T LIKE
A SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL.

IT WAS LIKE A .45.

THE GUN WAS THAT...?

IT WAS A HARD CHEESE.
IT WAS A VALGRANA.

TRY IT SOMETIME
WITH A COLD APPLE SLIVER.

-SIDEBAR?
-EXCUSE US.

DO YOU HAVE ANY GOAT CHEESES
IN THERE?

NO, I DON'T WORK IN GOAT CHEESES.

WHAT?

IT'S NOT LIKE WE'D BE
KICKING HIM TO THE CURB, RIGHT?

PINDY CAN HANDLE THIS.

HE CAN'T TAKE AN ESCALATOR ALONE.

HE'S NOT READY TO TAKE OFF
THE WATER WINGS.

HEY. YOU GUYS GOT TO TAKE
INFELD'S EX-WIFE.

WE DON'T
GOT TO DO ANYTHING.

THEN I NEED YOU
TO DO ME A FAVOR.

RIGHT. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS
HELPING US OUT?

-I HAVE A PROBLEM.
-YEAH.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE DEEP
FAMILY SECRETS.

I MAY HAVE HIT ON MY AUNT.

-[ SCOFFS ]
-YES.

WELL, IT HAPPENED TO ME
THANKSGIVING OF 1999,

AFTER TRIVIAL PURSUIT
AND SIX GIN FIZZES.

WE'RE NOT BLOOD RELATED.

BECAUSE THAT WOULD
MAKE IT WEIRD.

HANNA WILL HELP YOU.
COME ON.

YOU TAKE OUR CASE,
WE'LL TAKE YOURS.

SIMPLE FELONY,
YOU CAN PLEAD IT OUT.

AND PINDY WILL BE
YOUR SECOND CHAIR.

-SWEET.
-YOU --

WHOA, HE JUST TOOK THAT
WAY TOO FAST.

WHICH WIFE YOU THINK IT IS?

COULD BE ANY OF THEM --
BITCHY, DRUNKY, STABBY...

WELL...

OH, NO.

SO IN LOVE. EVANTHIA.

I WISH YOU'D TOLD ME.

I THINK WE JUST GOT HOSED.

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ OOH, WHAT A MIXTURE ♪

♪ SUCH A VIVID PICTURE ♪

♪ OOH, WHAT A MIXTURE ♪

♪ IF I MUST SAY SO MYSELF ♪

Jared: HOW MANY TIMES
WAS INFELD MARRIED?

-Peter: FIVE TIMES.
-WOW. REALLY?

NO WONDER
HE'S GOT TO KEEP WORKING.

YEAH.

HANNA SAYS AFTER INFELD
BROKE HER HEART,

EVANTHIA WENT A LITTLE NUTTY.

AND INFELD'S NORMAL?

RIGHT?

OKAY. FAVORITE VILLAINESSES
YOU'D LIKE TO --

VILFS. I GOT IT.

UH, FAMKE JANSSEN
IN "Golden Eye."

CRUSHES A DUDE WITH HER THIGHS.

-YEAH.
-YOU?

CRUELLA DE VIL,
"101 DALMATIANS."

-REALLY?
-ABSOLUTELY.

SHE'S FASHIONABLE, DETERMINED.

YEAH, BUT SHE'S A SMOKER.

YEAH, BUT I DON'T THINK SHE'LL
GET CANCER. IT'S ANIMATION.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

ABOUT FOUR MONTHS AGO,

I FOUND HER WANDERING
ON BARRINGTON AVENUE.

FILTHY, STARVING, NO TAGS.

CLEARLY SHE HAD BEEN
ON THE STREETS FOR WEEKS,

SO I PUT HER IN MY CAR
AND BROUGHT HER HOME.

CAN I GET YOU
ANYTHING TO DRINK?

-NO, THANKS.
-NO. SORRY.

DID YOU TRY TO FIND
LULU'S OWNER?

OF COURSE. I PUT UP SIGNS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

BUT NO ONE CLAIMED HER.

I KNEW THEY WOULDN'T,

BECAUSE SHE'D BEEN MISSING
FOR A WHILE.

SO,
WHERE ARE HANNA AND DAMIEN?

OH, WELL, HANNA CLAIMS THAT
HER NEPHEW IS GRADUATING.

-AND KARP IS...
-IN REHAB. POOR GUY.

OH. WELL,
LOOKS LIKE I TRADED UP.

YOU KNOW, I COULD GO
FOR A GIN FIZZ.

SO, IS THIS WHERE YOU
AND STANTON LIVED?

LIVED, FOUGHT...

SO, YOU ARE THE SECOND WIFE?

AND FOURTH.

SO NICE WE DID IT TWICE.

DID YOU THINK ABOUT
MAYBE PUTTING THE DOG

IN AN ANIMAL SHELTER?

LULU SUFFERED ENOUGH.

I WASN'T ABOUT TO DUMP HER OFF
AGAIN AT THE POUND.

AND I'VE RESCUED ANIMALS BEFORE
AND FOUND THEM GOOD HOMES.

ANYWAY, TWO MONTHS LATER,

THIS CRAZY WOMAN COMES UP
TO ME IN GELSON'S

CLAIMING THE DOG IS HERS.

DID SHE HAVE ANY PROOF
THAT THAT WAS HER DOG?

JUST THESE.

THAT'S THE WOMAN
WHO STOLE LULU.

SHE'S GONNA NEED MORE THAN THIS
TO PROVE OWNERSHIP.

-[ FIZZING ]
-THANK YOU.

Peter:
HEY. LOOK WHO IT IS.

TED ROSSI. HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
IN THE WATER IN A WHILE.

HEY, YEAH. I TOOK UP JIU-JITSU.
IT'S GREAT FOR THE CORE.

CHECK IT OUT. GO AHEAD.

WOW, THAT'S...

BELIEVE YOU KNOW MY PARTNER
IN DEFENDING CRIME, ERIC JANGO?

-HI.
-HEY.

-HOW ARE YOU?
-HEY. WE HAVEN'T MET.

I DON'T NEED TO TOUCH
YOUR STOMACH.

NO, YOU SHOULDN'T.

I'M ACTUALLY QUITE A FAN
OF YOUR WORK, THOUGH.

-THANKS.
-AND YOU MUST BE MRS. DUTTON.

MS. DUTTON.
THERE IS NO MR. DUTTON.

DAY'S NOT OVER.

-IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY.
-REALLY?

-YEAH.
-OKAY.

I'LL SEE YOU INSIDE.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU BOTH.

SEE YOU INSIDE.

UH, COUNSEL...

YOUR CLIENT STOLE THE DOG.

IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY
PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

-LAST CHANCE TO SETTLE.
-[ LAUGHS ]

HE'S ADORABLE,
LITTLE JANGO FETT.

PUT YOU IN MY POCKET.

IT'S WEIRD SEEING YOU GUYS
REPRESENTING ZSA ZSA.

-ISN'T IT?
-A LITTLE BIT.

I MEAN, AFTER YEARS OF LOOKING
AFTER ALL THE LITTLE GUYS.

-NOW...
-NOW WHAT?

NOW YOU'RE ON THEIR SIDE.

-[ LAUGHS ]
-SEE YOU IN COURT.

-THEY'RE RODEO CLOWNS.
-OH, YEAH.

-THIS ISN'T EVEN GONNA BE FAIR.
-I KNOW.

I KNOW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M MOVING UP MY BASKETBALL GAME
FROM FRIDAY TO WEDNESDAY.

THIS WILL BE OVER BY THEN.

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU PLAY BASKETBALL.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU GET FACIALS.

YOU GET PICKED LAST A LOT?

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHEN YOU GET PICKED, OKAY?

IT'S DEFENSE.

Rossi:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THIS IS A SIMPLE CASE
OF STOLEN PROPERTY.

EVANTHIA STEELE TOOK A DOG
THAT DID NOT BELONG TO HER.

AND BY THE WAY, THE
DOG'S REAL NAME -- MAXINE.

KERRY DUTTON SEARCHED HER
SANTA MONICA NEIGHBORHOOD TIRELESSLY

FOR MAXINE.

HER PROPERTY, HMM?
HER STOLEN PROPERTY.

NOW WE'RE GONNA PROVE TO YOU

THAT MAX WAS LURED
TO A FANCY PART OF TOWN

WITH A PROMISE
OF A BETTER LIFE,

GIVEN A NEW FOOFY HAIRCUT,
PAMPERED LIFESTYLE,

LEAVING BEHIND NOT ONLY THOSE
MOST LOYAL TO HER,

BUT ALSO HER OWN TRUE IDENTITY.

NOW, I UNDERSTAND WE ALL LOSE
OUR WAY FROM TIME TO TIME,

FORGET WHERE WE COME FROM
AND WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT.

BUT TO THOSE THAT LOVED US,
WE OWE IT TO THEM TO COME HOME.

THANK YOU.

PUSHING THE BASKETBALL GAME
BACK TO FRIDAY?

YEP.

-HUH!
-HEY, I'M SORRY, SIR,

BUT I-I LOST MY JOB
AFTER I BROKE MY ARM.

AND MY FATHER IS ILL.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WHATEVER, JUST DON'T SHOOT.

MAY I...?
I'M REALLY STARVING.

YEAH, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
TRY THE PEPPERONI.

NAH, I'M A MOZZARELLA MAN.
OOH, IT'S GOOD.

GOOD, GOOD.
TAKE THIS AND GO, HUH?

THANK YOU.
NOW, YOU HAVE A NICE DAY.

AND AGAIN, I'M SO VERY SORRY
FOR THIS, OKAY?

OKAY, GREAT. GREAT.

AH. DEEP DISH.
I LOVE IT.

UGH.

UGH. THAT IS VERY HARD
FOR ME TO WATCH.

I'M NOT THAT MAD MAN,
I SWEAR.

WHY DID YOU PICK A PIZZA JOINT
TO ROB?

WELL, I ALWAYS HEARD
PIZZA JOINTS

HAD LOTS OF CASH AROUND.

-REALLY?
-YEAH.

OH. WELL, SINCE THE GUN WAS,
UM, A DAIRY PRODUCT,

WE CAN PROBABLY GET
THE WEAPONS CHARGE DISMISSED.

Pindar: PLUS,
IT'S YOUR FIRST OFFENSE.

BEST CASE, WE GET ROBBERY

REDUCED
TO MISDEMEANOR ASSAULT.

YOU GET THREE YEARS' PROBATION
AND NO JAIL TIME.

WOW.
YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING.

YEAH, WE ARE DYNAMIC,
AREN'T WE?

WE'RE LIKE A DYNAMIC DUO.

WE'RE NOT A DUO
OF ANY KIND.

OH, YOU CAN'T DENY
THAT THERE ARE TWO OF US.

WATCH ME. I'M GONNA GET SOME
COFFEE. YOU WANT ANYTHING?

NO.

I'LL...GET...BLACK.

SO YOU DIDN'T TAKE LULU
TO THE POUND?

I THINK LULU WAS DUMPED
BY HER OWNER

IN A NICE,
SAFE NEIGHBORHOOD

HOPING SOMEONE
WOULD PICK HER UP.

SHE'S LUCKY THE COYOTES
DIDN'T GET HER.

MS. STEELE, THE PALOMA BAG
YOU'RE CARRYING --

IS THAT REAL?

IT IS. A GIFT
FROM MY EX-HUSBAND.

I GUESS IT HOLDS SOME
SENTIMENTAL VALUE.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
THAT BAG COSTS?

YES. UH,
SOMEWHERE AROUND 75 GRAND.

GUN TO YOUR HEAD.

A THIEF SAYS, "HAND OVER YOUR
PALOMA BAG OR YOUR DOG LULU."

-WHICH IS IT?
-OBJECTION.

THIS CASE IS NOT
ABOUT A STOLEN BAG.

WHAT OPPOSING COUNSEL
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND

IS A DOG ISN'T PROPERTY
LIKE A CAR OR A PURSE,

ALBEIT A VERY PERFECT
PALOMA BAG,

WHICH WE'LL DISCUSS LATER
AT GREAT LENGTH.

-OVERRULED.
-SO...THE BAG OR THE DOG?

THAT'S EASY.

I CAN LIVE WITHOUT A BAG,
BUT NOT WITHOUT MY DOG.

AND I'LL DO ANYTHING
TO KEEP HER.

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

COLD AND FLU GERMS CAN LIVE UP
TO 48 HOURS ON HARD SURFACES.

YOU'RE AN EMBARRASSMENT
TO THE AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION.

I AIM HIGH.

-NICE SUIT.
-THANKS.

HIS COMPLIMENT ISN'T GENUINE.

MY PARTNER IS KNOWN
FOR HIS BITING SARCASM.

-IS THAT TRUE?
-NOT AT ALL. WHEN WE'RE DONE,

I'M GONNA BUY THAT SUIT FROM YOU
FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

DAMIEN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THIS TURD OF A CASE?

HEY, JUST BECAUSE
LADY JUSTICE IS BLIND

DOESN'T MEAN
SHE CANNOT HEAR...SIR.

-WHO'S THAT GUY?
-HE'S NOBODY.

LOOK, LET'S JUST DO THIS QUICK
SO WE CAN GET BACK TO OUR LIVES.

MISDEMEANOR
WITH PROBATION.

LOVE TO, BUT THIS
IS A REAL CRIME.

YOUR CLIENT'S ROBBERY
HAS GONE VIRAL.

MY BOSS WANTS TO MAKE
AN EXAMPLE OUT OF GENTLEMAN JIM

SO THAT OTHERS
DON'T GET THE IDEA

THAT IF THEY JUST STEAL WITH
GOOD MANNERS AND A SQUIRT GUN,

THEY WON'T DO ANY JAIL TIME.

[ CHUCKLES ]
I'M SORRY, DAMIEN.

BUT THAT POOR SAP'S GOING AWAY
FOR FIVE YEARS.

DID HE JUST SAY
FIVE YEARS?

WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF MY FATHER
IF I'M GONE FOR FIVE YEARS?

RELAX. IT'S JUST
A PRELIMINARY HEARING.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE LISTENED.

"LISTENED"?

WHO TOLD YOU
THAT LUCKY LOUIE'S

HAD A BUNCH OF CASH
LYING AROUND?

NO ONE.
THIS WAS MY MASTER PLAN.

OH, AND IT WORKED GREAT.

JIM, IF SOMEONE PUT YOU UP
TO THIS, HE'S A CO-CONSPIRATOR.

AND IF YOU GIVE US HIS NAME, WE
CAN GET YOU A LIGHTER SENTENCE.

NO WAY. NO WAY.

MAYBE I MAKE CHEESE,
BUT I'M NO RAT.

Rossi: THE PLAINTIFF
WOULD LIKE TO CALL

MR. PATRICK MEISNER TO THE STAND.

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR.

THERE IS NO PATRICK MEISNER
ON THE WITNESS LIST.

YOUR HONOR, SORRY, WE ATTEMPTED

TO DELIVER A NEW
WITNESS LIST LAST NIGHT,

BUT OUR MESSENGER WAS
PULLED OVER FOR SPEEDING.

AND WHO KNEW?
HE HAD TWO PRIORS, SO...

HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.

IT'S SO LAME
WE'RE OKAY WITH IT.

THANKS.

BUSH LEAGUE.

MR. MEISNER, WILL YOU PLEASE
REMIND THE JURY WHERE YOU WORK?

THE EAST VALLEY ANIMAL SHELTER
IN WOODLAND HILLS.

IS IT TRUE THAT EVANTHIA STEELE,

WHO SAYS SHE FOUND THE DOG
IN SANTA MONICA,

DROVE 15 MILES TO YOUR
RESCUE CENTER IN WOODLAND HILLS?

-YES, THAT'S CORRECT.
-WOW. REALLY?

AND WHERE DID SHE TELL YOU
SHE FOUND THE DOG?

-IN WOODLAND HILLS.
-WOODLAND HILLS?

WHY NOT LAS VEGAS?

Jango: NOW,
WHY WOULD A WESTSIDER

VENTURE INTO YOUR CENTER
IN THE VALLEY

WITH A MISSING PET?

WELL, SOMETIMES DOG OWNERS
EMBED A COMPUTER CHIP IN THE DOG

WITH A NAME AND ADDRESS.

IF THE DOG DOESN'T HAVE THIS,

IT MAKES IT VERY EASY
FOR THE FINDER

TO CLAIM THE DOG
AS THEIRS.

-OBJECTION. SPECULATION.
-SUSTAINED.

-DID THIS DOG HAVE A CHIP IN IT?
-NO, IT DID NOT.

MR. MEISNER, HOW MANY
DAYS ARE REQUIRED

BEFORE SOMEONE CAN CLAIM
OWNERSHIP OF A LOST PET?

10 DAYS.

ON WHAT DAY DID MS. STEELE
ARRIVE TO CLAIM MAXINE?

SHE WAS AT MY DOOR
WHEN I OPENED

ON THE MORNING
OF THE 10th DAY.

THANK YOU, MR. MEISNER.

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS,
YOUR HONOR.

YOUR HONOR,
GIVEN MS. STEELE IS ON RECORD

SAYING SHE'D DO ANYTHING
TO SAVE THAT DOG,

WE WOULD LIKE THAT DOG PLACED
IN CUSTODY OF A THIRD PARTY.

-WHAT?
-Judge: COUNSELORS IN MY CHAMBERS.

YOU MAY STEP DOWN.

WELL, WE WERE WRONG.

I GUESS YOU GUYS DO TAKE
THE "HAIL MARY" CASES, HUH?

'CAUSE YOU GOT NO SHOT
AT WINNING THIS ONE.

-YEAH. NICE LOAFERS.
-THANKS, THEY'RE ITALIAN.

REALLY, THAT'S THE BEST
YOU'VE GOT?

I'M TIRED, ALL RIGHT?

[ SIGHS ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

STANTON,
I SAVED THAT DOG'S LIFE.

I'M SURE YOU DID.

BUT MY LAWYERS
DON'T BELIEVE ME.

OH, WELL,
THEY'LL COME AROUND.

IF ONLY YOU HAD COME
AROUND THE HOUSE MORE.

WELL...
YOU KNOW I WANT TO, DARLING.

BUT [SIGHS] EMOTIONS --

THEY GET COMPLICATED
THE MORNING AFTER.

YES, BUT THERE'S
SOMETHING TO BE SAID

ABOUT LIVING
IN THE MOMENT.

AND AT THIS VERY MOMENT,

WE MUST SAVE
YOUR BELOVED LULU.

OH.

Peter:
THEY CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

THE PROSECUTION IS CALLING
MS. STEELE A FLIGHT RISK?

YES,
SHE IS A DESPERATE WOMAN

WHO HAS SAID THAT SHE CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT THIS DOG.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A FLIGHT RISK TO ME.

YOUR HONOR,
THAT IS RIDICULOUS.

GIVEN WHAT I'VE HEARD
IN TESTIMONY TODAY,

I'M GOING TO AGREE
WITH THE PLAINTIFF.

THE DOG WILL BE PLACED
IN THE CUSTODY

OF THE LOS ANGELES
ANIMAL CONTROL SHELTER

UNTIL CUSTODY
CAN BE DETERMINED.

YOUR HONOR, YOU CAN'T PUT
LULU IN THE COUNTY PEN.

SHE'S TOO PRETTY.

Rossi: WELL, IF DEFENSE IS
SO CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG,

THEY COULD TAKE CUSTODY
UNTIL VERDICT IS REACHED.

-WHY DON'T YOU?
-WE HAVE CATS.

YOU WOULD.

Judge Douglas:
FRANKLIN AND BASH, YOUR CALL.

THE DOG GOES WITH YOU
OR TO THE POUND.

[ SIGHS ]
WE'LL TAKE IT.

-HIM.
-HER.

SHUT UP.

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW
THE GENDER OF THE DOG.

YOU CAN'T TAKE IT
'CAUSE YOU HAVE CATS.

-YES, SEVEN OF THEM.
-UGH!

-YOU HAVE CATS!
-YEAH.

-YOU LOOK LIKE A CAT.
-MEOW, MOTHER...

OH, GOD, HOW CAN HE STAND
THE SMELL?

THIS IS WHERE
HE MAKES HIS CHEESE.

THAT DOESN'T ANSWER
MY QUESTION.

[ SIGHS ]
YOU GET IT.

-NO, YOU GET IT.
-GET IT.

-NO.
-GET IT.

OH, GOD.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
I'M NOT TALKING.

WHAT ARE YOU MAKING?

CAMEMBERT.

IT'S HIS SPECIALTY.

Sweeney: THE SECRET
TO A GOOD CAMEMBERT

IS TURNING THE MOLDS
EVERY SIX HOURS

TO ALLOW THE WHEY
TO DRAIN EVENLY.

Damien: ACTUALLY, THE SECRET
TO A GOOD CAMEMBERT

IS A DECENT CABERNET
TO SAVE ITS SORRY ASS.

-OH, YEAH?
-OH, YEAH.

Pindar: LISTEN --
THE JURY HAS TO UNDERSTAND

WHY YOU ROBBED
LUCKY LOUIE'S.

YOU NEEDED RENT MONEY
SO YOU AND YOUR SICK FATHER

WOULDN'T END UP
ON THE STREET.

BUT TO ESTABLISH THAT,

WE HAVE TO
PUT YOU ON THE STAND.

THAT I CAN DO.

GOOD, BUT ONCE
YOU'RE ON THE STAND,

THE PROSECUTION CAN
CROSS-EXAMINE YOU.

AND THEN IF THEY ASK YOU
WHETHER YOU WORKED ALONE,

YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

I STAND CORRECTED.

THE VINTNER OWES A DEBT
OF GRATITUDE TO THE ARTISAN.

WELL, WE'LL LEAVE YOU
TO YOUR CHEESE.

BYE.

HIS NAME
IS CHARLIE HILLENBRAN.

HE'S A FOOD VENDOR.
I SELL MY CHEESE TO HIM.

HE SAID THERE WAS
THIS PIZZA JOINT.

THE OWNER HAD
A LOT OF CASH AROUND

AND NO GUN ON THE PREMISES.

KEEP GOING.

CHUCK SAID THAT THE OWNER,
LUCKY LOUIE, WAS RICH

AND THAT THE PIZZA JOINT
WAS A TAX WRITE-OFF.

AND AS LONG AS I DIDN'T USE
A DEADLY WEAPON

AND WAS RESPECTFUL,
IF I WAS CAUGHT,

THEY'D LET ME GO
WITH JUST A SLAP ON THE WRIST.

AND YOU GUYS --
YOU GUYS SAW THE VIDEO.

I-I WAS VERY RESPECTFUL.

IT MIGHT NOT BE ENOUGH TO MAKE
CHUCK A CO-CONSPIRATOR.

DID YOU GIVE HIM A CUT
OF ANY OF THE MONEY YOU STOLE?

NO.

INSURANCE FRAUD MAYBE?

MAYBE.
WE NEED TO FIND OUT MORE.

DID YOU REALLY FIND THE DOG
IN SANTA MONICA

AND TAKE HER
TO WOODLAND HILLS?

YES.

I KEPT SEEING HER
ON MONTANA AVENUE

EITHER LEFT IN A HOT CAR
OR TIED TO A METER

WHILE THAT WOMAN
WAS IN YOGA CLASS.

SOMETIMES FOR HOURS WHILE SHE
WAS JUST FLIRTING WITH MEN.

I HAD SEEN ENOUGH,
AND I RESCUED HER.

SOME PEOPLE WOULD
CALL THAT STEALING.

AND BY SOME,
I MEAN EVERYONE.

-I SAVED THIS DOG'S LIFE.
-OKAY.

ALL I WANTED WAS FOR LULU
TO BE IN A BETTER HOME.

NOW... DO YOU WANT TO TAKE
THIS CASE

OR SHOULD I TALK TO STANTON
ABOUT NEW COUNSEL?

-[ CLEARS THROAT ]
-TAKE THE DOG.

OH.

LULU, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A SLEEPOVER WITH THESE NICE MEN.

-[ BABBLING ]
-OKAY.

OH, LULU. OH!

-OH. OKAY.
-[ TOY SQUEAKING ]

OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S FUN.

ALL RIGHT. LULU, COME ON.
LULU. COME, GIRL.

-OKAY.
-GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.

OHH.

A DOG'S TONGUE
IS NOT JUST ITS WASHCLOTH,

BUT ALSO ITS TOILET PAPER.

SO WHEN IT'S "KISSING" YOU,

IT'S BASICALLY RUBBING
USED TOILET PAPER

ALL OVER YOUR FACE.

OH, SHE'S SO CUTE.
I WANT TO KEEP HER.

WELL, JUDGING BY THE WAY
THE CASE IS GOING,

SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO START
LEARNING TO LIVE

ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE TRACKS AGAIN.

-OKAY, STRATEGY 2.0.
-GO.

EVANTHIA DIDN'T STEAL THE DOG,
SHE RESCUED IT.

YEAH, RIGHT.
YOUR CLIENT'S A THIEF.

IT'S BETTER THAN BEING
AN ANIMAL ABUSER.

YOU'RE RIGHT. WE GOT TO HIT
KERRY DUTTON HARD

FOR BEING
A NEGLECTFUL OWNER.

WE SHOW THAT THE DOG-JACKING

WAS A CRIME OF NECESSITY.

THAT THE DOG'S LIFE AND WELFARE
WAS IN GRAVE DANGER.

THIS IS A HAIL MARY.

CARMEN,
YOU GOT TO FIND SOMEONE

TO SUPPORT OUR CLAIM
THAT THE DOG WAS NEGLECTED.

OKAY, CHECK OLD BOYFRIENDS,
ROOMMATES, ANYONE.

HOW CAN IT STILL BE SHEDDING?
IT'S LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

PINDY, FIRST OF ALL, IT IS A SHE.

SECOND OF ALL, YORKIES DON'T SHED.

THAT HAIR'S PROBABLY LEFT OVER

FROM PETER'S MANSCAPING BONANZA.

WHAT'S WRONG?

I USED TO THINK JANGO AND ROSSI
WERE WANNABES.

NOW MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE WE HAVE SOLD OUT.

NO WAY.

WE SWAPPED GENTLEMAN JIM'S CASE

WITHOUT THINKING TWICE
ABOUT IT.

-AS A FAVOR TO KARP.
-WAS IT THAT?

OR DID WE JUST NOT WANT TO BE
BOTHERED BY THE GREAT UNWASHED?

WE USED TO BE TRUE BELIEVERS.

PETER,
WE'RE STILL THE SAME GUYS.

WE STILL HAVE THE SAME VALUES.

WE STILL FIGHT FOR THE LITTLE GUY.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THIS TIME,

THE LITTLE GUY
HAPPENS TO BE A YORKIE

OWNED BY A SUPER-RICH WHITE LADY
FROM THE WESTSIDE.

DAMN.

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ LULU BARKING ]

PLEASE DELIVER THIS
TO MR. KARP'S OFFICE.

Stanton:
THOUGHT THE WOMAN WAS A --

OH. WELL, LOOK WHAT THE DOG
DRAGGED IN.

THIS DOG KEPT US UP
ALL NIGHT SICK.

LET ME GUESS,
YOU FED IT SUSHI.

PIGS IN A BLANKET.

YORKIEPOOS -- THEY HAVE
A VERY DELICATE CONSTITUTION.

YOU THINK JANGO AND ROSSI
DID THIS

TO THROW YOU OFF YOUR GAME?

-MAN, THAT WOULD BE KIND OF BRILLIANT.
-IT WOULD.

ALL RIGHT.
WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?

NO OFFENSE, SIR, BUT YOUR
EX-WIFE IS BUCKNUTS CRAZY.

WHOA. WHOA.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

EVANTHIA IS A WONDERFUL WOMAN
WITH A BIG HEART.

SHE'S JUST HAD A TOUGH GO
SINCE WE SPLIT UP.

ANYWAY, SHE FINDS IT VERY HARD
TO FIND SOMEONE

WITH MY LOVEMAKING SKILLS.

ESPECIALLY MY ABILITY

TO FIND THE VERY ELUSIVE
FEMALE K-SPOT.

G-SPOT.

"K."
IT'S ABOVE THE "G."

GETTING THERE IS PART
ARCHITECTURE, PART INSTINCT.

YOU SEE, THE DIFFICULTY
OF FINDING THE K-SPOT

CAN ONLY BE ECLIPSED
BY THE RECIPIENT'S ABILITY

TO WITHSTAND THE INTENSITY
OF ITS DISCOVERY.

-FIRST YOU --
-[ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]

SIR, I'M JUST GONNA SAY WORDS
UNTIL YOU STOP.

GO ON. GO ON.

OH. LATER.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]

JANGO AND ROSSI HAVE SUBMITTED
A NEW WITNESS FOR TODAY.

-YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. THE DOG?!
-THE DOG.

THE JUDGE ISN'T GONNA
ALLOW THAT, RIGHT?

-THEY'RE MESSING WITH US.
-THEY'RE IN OUR HEADS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT?

I THINK YOU GIVE EVANTHIA
ALL THIS FREE LEGAL COUNSEL

TO ALLEVIATE THE GUILT YOU FEEL
FOR BREAKING HER HEART.

AM I RIGHT?

THANK YOU, HANNA.
THAT'LL BE ALL.

OKAY.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

Jared: YOUR HONOR,
WHEN THE PLAINTIFF'S COUNSEL

ARE DONE GETTING THEIR PHONE
NUMBERS, WE'RE GOOD TO GO.

AND IF THEY NEED A CLOSER,
I CAN HELP.

YOUR HONOR, THE PLAINTIFF
WOULD LIKE TO CALL

MAXINE THE DOG TO THE STAND.

-COME ON, YOUR HONOR.
-OH, GOOD LORD...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GROW TWO MORE INCHES
AND CALL YOURSELF FRANKLIN?

-MR. FRANKLIN!
-Jared: I'M SORRY, YOUR HONOR.

THAT MIGHT BE THE ONLY CHANCE
I EVER GET

TO MAKE A SHORT JOKE
AT SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE.

Rossi: YOUR HONOR,
THE DEFENSE HAS CLAIMED

THAT THE DOG IS NOT PROPERTY,
BUT RATHER SOMETHING

THAT FORGES A MORE
EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT.

APPROACH.

MAY I?

ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS,
FOLKS?

YOUR HONOR, IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
EVANTHIA STEELE CLAIMS

THAT SHE'S BONDED
WITH THIS DOG.

LET'S PUT IT TO A TASTE TEST.

WHY NOT LET THE DOG
CHOOSE ITS MASTER?

-YOUR HONOR, THIS IS CRAZY.
-AND IF WE'RE SAYING IT'S CRAZY...

REQUEST DENIED.
MOVE ON.

THERE YOU GO.

-OH, NO! TOTO!
-LULU, LULU!

MAX! YES! YES!
OH!

-YOUR HONOR!
-[ GAVEL BANGING ]

-Kerry: MOMMY MISSES YOU.
-[ GAVEL BANGS ]

MR. ROSSI, MR. JANGO,
I AM HOLDING YOU IN CONTEMPT.

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING --
OH, YOU MEANT THEM.

FORCE OF HABIT.

THE JURY WILL DISREGARD
THAT STUNT

AND LET IT HAVE NO BEARING
ON YOUR DECISION.

YOUR HONOR, WE REQUEST
THAT THE BAILIFF

BE ALLOWED
TO SEARCH MS. DUTTON

IN ORDER TO SEE
IF SHE IS HIDING A LAMB CHOP

OR SOME BACON TREATS
ON HER PERSON.

-REQUEST DENIED.
-OKAY, I'LL DO IT.

-WE'LL DO IT, YOUR HONOR.
-DENIED.

THIS COURT IS IN RECESS
UNTIL 3:00.

WHY DON'T YOU SHRINK AN INCH
AND CALL YOURSELF JANGO?

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE
HIRED THEM.

Psst.

MR. HILLENBRAN?

THAT'S ME.

SOMEBODY TOLD ME
YOU COULD HOOK A GIRL UP

WITH SOME BULK CHEDDAR.

OH, YEAH? WHO?

JIM SWEENEY.

-YOU A COP?
-NO.

WHY WOULD YOU THINK
I WAS A COP?

WHY, DID YOU DO
SOMETHING WRONG?

NO, BUT JIM SWEENEY DID.

YEAH, I KNOW.
HE SAID YOU TOLD HIM

LUCKY LOUIE'S
WAS AN EASY MARK.

WHO ARE YOU?

AN INVESTIGATOR
FOR FRANKLIN AND BASH.

YEAH, I'VE SEEN THEIR BUMPER
STICKERS ON TOMBSTONES.

ASK ME ANYTHING.

DID YOU TELL JIM THAT LOUIE DIDN'T
KEEP A GUN ON THE PREMISES?

I DID, BUT I DIDN'T
TELL JIM TO ROB THE PLACE.

WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?

BECAUSE LOUIE IS NOT ONLY
A FRIEND OF MINE,

-HE'S A BUSINESS PARTNER.
-BUSINESS PARTNER?

YEAH, I'M A MINORITY OWNER
OF LUCKY LOUIE'S.

NOW, WHY IN THE HELL
WOULD I TIP SOMEONE OFF

TO STEAL MONEY
FROM MY OWN BUSINESS?

[ BABIES GIGGLING ]

DEPRESSED, HUH?

HOW'D YOU KNOW?

OH, WHENEVER YOU'RE IN A FUNK,
YOU WATCH LAUGHING BABIES.

-THEY BRING ME SO MUCH JOY.
-[ COMPUTER BEEPS ]

A MILLION HITS
FOR LUCKY LOUIE.

YOU CAN'T BUY PUBLICITY
LIKE THAT.

WHERE YOU HEADED?

TO TALK TO ANOTHER ONE

OF KERRY DUTTON'S
OLD BOYFRIENDS.

OF WHICH
THERE SEEM TO BE MANY.

ANYWAY, LULU HAS BEEN FED.
YES, SHE HAS.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PUT HER OUT.

OH, I WAS UNAWARE
THAT HELL HAD FROZEN OVER.

PINDY, SHE'S LIKE
A TINY LITTLE LASSIE.

UH, LASSIE CONTRACTED
TOXOCARIASIS

AND KILLED HALF THE CREW.

OKAY, WOW.
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

IT LINKS TO GROUPON.

WHAT DOES?

THE VIRAL VIDEO FROM LUCKY LOUIE
LINKS TO GROUPON.

WE NEED A SUBPOENA.

WE HAVE TO OPEN THE BOOKS
ON LUCKY LOUIE PIZZERIA.

BUT THE JUDGE INSTRUCTED THE
JURY TO IGNORE WHAT LULU DID.

YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN'T ERASE A MEMORY.

THE JURY NOW SEES KERRY
AS LULU'S CHOICE.

EVANTHIA, IT'S NOT OVER.

IT FEELS LIKE IT.

LULU BEING HERE MADE THIS HOUSE
NOT FEEL SO LONELY ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW, YOU AND STANTON
SEEM TO GET ALONG WELL.

WE GET ALONG BECAUSE
WE'RE NOT MARRIED ANYMORE.

OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW,
WE MAY NOT GET

YOU AND STANTON
BACK TOGETHER,

BUT WE'RE GONNA GET YOU
BACK WITH LULU.

HEAR, HEAR!

-REALLY?
-YEAH.

OH. HERE'S TO THAT.

-IT'S CARMEN.
-HEY.

I GOT SOME BAD NEWS.

OKAY.

HOW LONG DID YOU
AND STANTON DATE?

Evanthia:
ABOUT SIX WEEKS.

-REALLY?
-MM-HMM.

HE WAS TALKING
ABOUT THIS K-SPOT.

HE --
HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?

[ Laughing ] YEAH.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT IT IS, DO YOU?

NO, I HAVE NO IDEA.

I FOUND ONE OF KERRY'S
OLD BOYFRIENDS.

EVANTHIA -- SHE'S NOT
GETTING HER DOG BACK.

Wainwright: THE PROSECUTION
WOULD LIKE TO CALL

MR. LOUIE GIANELLI
TO THE STAND.

HMM. I'M GOOD.

NICE CALL SUBPOENAING
LUCKY LOUIE'S BOOKS.

JUST DOING MY JOB, PARTNER.

LET'S BEAT THIS DICK.

ONE LAST QUESTION,
MR. GIANELLI.

WHEN MR. SWEENEY
POINTED HIS GUN AT YOU,

WERE YOU AWARE
THAT THE GUN WASN'T REAL?

NO.

DID YOU FIND ANYTHING
GENTLEMANLY

ABOUT SOMEONE POINTING
A LOADED WEAPON AT YOU

AND DEMANDING
YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY?

OBJECTION. ARGUMENTATIVE.

SUSTAINED.

MR. GIANELLI, WERE YOU SCARED
FOR YOUR LIFE

WHEN JIM SWEENEY POINTED
IN YOUR DIRECTION

WHAT YOU BELIEVED
TO BE A DEADLY WEAPON?

YES,
BUT I WAS MORE SCARED

THAT I WOULDN'T SEE MY WIFE
AGAIN.

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS,
YOUR HONOR.

UH, MR. GIANELLI,
ACCORDING TO YOUR BOOKS,

BUSINESS WASN'T GREAT

THE FIRST HALF OF LAST YEAR,
CORRECT?

YEAH, THAT'S CORRECT.
WE WERE DOWN ABOUT 20%.

AND HOW'S BUSINESS BEEN
THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS?

IT HAS PICKED UP.
KNOCK ON WOOD.

[ KNOCKS ON STAND ]

ACTUALLY, ACCORDING
TO YOUR RECORDS,

BUSINESS PICKED UP
ALMOST 15%

SINCE THE ROBBERY WAS CAUGHT
ON YOUR SECURITY CAMERAS

AND WENT VIRAL,
ISN'T THAT CORRECT?

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

EVEN THE BLIND PIG
FINDS THE ACORN.

WOULD I BE ACCURATE IF I SAID

THAT GETTING THAT ROBBERY
ON CAMERA

MIGHT HAVE BEEN
ONE OF THE BEST THINGS

TO HAPPEN TO YOU
AND YOUR BUSINESS?

-OBJECTION.
-WITHDRAWN.

MR. GIANELLI, DO YOU HAVE
BUSINESS PARTNERS?

YEAH, I-I'VE GOT 10 INVESTORS.

DID YOU DISCUSS
WITH YOUR PARTNERS

WAYS TO STIMULATE
THE BUSINESS?

OH, SURE. ALL THE TIME.

LIKE THE NEW DEEP DISH PIZZA...
HALF-PRICE NIGHT...

GETTING SOMEONE GULLIBLE
TO ROB YOUR STORE

WITH A CHEESE GUN
FOR PUBLICITY?

OBJECTION --
ARGUMENTATIVE.

SUSTAINED.

MR. GIANELLI, DID YOUR BUSINESS
PARTNER CHARLES HILLENBRAN

SUGGEST TO MR. SWEENEY

THAT IF HE WAS CONVICTED
OF ROBBING LUCKY LOUIE'S,

-HE WOULD GET OFF LIGHT?
-OBJECTION.

WATCH IT, ATTICUS.

YOUR HONOR, MR. GIANELLI
IS NOT ON TRIAL HERE.

AND I ASK THAT MR. KARP'S
QUESTIONS BE STRICKEN.

YOUR HONOR, WE'RE TRYING TO
PRESENT AN AFFIRMATIVE DEFENSE

OF A LEGAL IMPOSSIBILITY.

OUR CLIENT COULDN'T HAVE
COMMITTED A CRIME

AGAINST A PERSON
WHO PLANNED THE CRIME.

-IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
-OVERRULED.

BUT, MR. KARP,

UNLESS YOU ARE READY
TO PRESENT SOME PROOF

-TO SUPPORT LEGAL IMPOSSIBILITY...
-I AM, YOUR HONOR.

I WOULD LIKE TO ENTER
INTO EVIDENCE

WHAT HAS PREVIOUSLY BEEN MARKED
AS EXHIBIT "B."

MR. GIANELLI, IS THIS A RECEIPT
FROM STONEBRIDGE SECURITY?

YES, IT IS.

AND WHAT DID YOU PURCHASE
AT STONEBRIDGE SECURITY?

SECURITY CAMERAS.

CAN YOU READ THE DATE
WHEN YOU PUT THE CAMERAS IN?

IT'S MARCH 29, 2012.

AH.

HOW FORTUITOUS.

AFTER EIGHT YEARS IN BUSINESS
AND NO PREVIOUS BURGLARIES,

YOU INSTALL SECURITY CAMERAS

THREE DAYS BEFORE MR. SWEENEY
ROBS YOUR STORE

ON APRIL 2, 2012.

AGREE OR DISAGREE?

[ STAMMERS ]

I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME
LUCKY LOUIE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS,
YOUR HONOR.

WHAT PERCENTAGE OF A DOG'S
MEMORY IS ITS SENSE OF SMELL?

80%, ROUGHLY.

SO IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT
IF ENOUGH TIME HAS PASSED,

A DOG WOULD REMEMBER
SOMEONE BY SMELL

-BEFORE RECOGNIZING THEM VISUALLY?
-OH, SURE.

SOME DOGS ARE BETTER THAN
OTHERS, LIKE HUNTING DOGS.

AND IS A YORKSHIRE
A HUNTING DOG?

IN THE 19th CENTURY, THEY WERE
BRED IN YORKSHIRE, ENGLAND,

TO CATCH RATS.

THANK YOU, SIR.
NO MORE QUESTIONS.

YOUR HONOR, WE'D LIKE TO CALL
TO THE STAND MR. ANDRE CARSON

AND WE'D LIKE TO ENTER
EXHIBIT "D" INTO EVIDENCE.

OBJECTION.
I BELIEVE YOUR HONOR

REJECTED MAXINE
AS A WITNESS JUST YESTERDAY.

YES, YOUR HONOR,
BUT THIS IS NOT A WITNESS,

THIS IS EVIDENCE IN SUPPORT
OF OUR NEXT WITNESS' TESTIMONY.

LET THE COURT REPORTER
TRANSCRIBE THIS CORRECTLY,

BECAUSE CHANCES ARE
I WILL NEVER SAY IT AGAIN --

SINCE FRANKLIN AND BASH
RESPECTED THIS COURT

AND FOLLOWED PROPER PROCEDURE,
I WILL ALLOW IT.

[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ BARKING ]

YOUR HONOR,
WE HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE

TO INTERVIEW THIS WITNESS HERE.

Jared: YOUR HONOR,
WE MESSENGERED OVER

THE WITNESS LIST
TO THE PLAINTIFF'S COUNSEL,

BUT MR. JANGO'S MOTHER
REFUSED TO SIGN FOR IT.

I GUESS HE LIVES
WITH HIS MOTHER,

WHICH IS WEIRD, BUT --

Jango:
YOUR HONOR, IT'S A DUPLEX,

AND MY MOTHER WOULD HAVE SIGNED
FOR ANYTHING.

I'LL ALLOW IT.

Peter: WE HAVE PROOF THAT
THIS MAN, ANDRE CARSON,

IS THE REAL OWNER OF LULU.

BUT THAT'S NOT EVEN
THE DOG'S REAL NAME. OR MAXINE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE COURT,
WE PRESENT TO YOU, LADY BOW WOW.

-NO, THE DOG STAYS.
-STAY!

GOOD GIRL.

-OBJECTION! OH, YOU GO.
-OBJECTION! AFTER YOU.

OH, UM, YOUR HONOR,
THIS IS A CASE OF OWNERSHIP

BETWEEN MS. STEELE
AND MS. DUTTON, NOT MR. CARSON.

THIS WITNESS GOES TO THE
PLAINTIFF'S CREDIBILITY, YOUR HONOR.

I'LL ALLOW IT. THE BAILIFF
WILL SWEAR THE WITNESS.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADY, OKAY?
GO SIT WITH EVANTHIA.

KERRY AND I
DATED FOR TWO YEARS,

AND THEN WE BROKE UP WHEN
I WAS IN EUROPE ON BUSINESS.

KERRY HAS HER ISSUES.

-Rossi: OBJECTION. RELEVANCE.
-SUSTAINED.

Jared: AND WHAT HAPPENED
TO LADY BOW WOW

WHILE YOU WERE IN EUROPE?

WELL, I WAS IN FRANCE AND I GOT
A CALL FROM THE HOUSEKEEPER.

SHE SAID SHE WENT
TO THE GROCERY STORE.

AND WHEN SHE GOT HOME,
THE DOG WAS GONE.

SHE ASSUMED LADY GOT OUT
AND RAN AWAY.

DID SHE RUN AWAY?

NO. I'M PRETTY SURE
KERRY STOLE HER.

SHE HAD A KEY
SHE NEVER GAVE BACK.

-OBJECTION!
-Judge: SUSTAINED.

MR. FRANKLIN, DO YOU HAVE PROOF
TO SUPPORT THAT ACCUSATION?

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION,
YOUR HONOR. LET ME ASK MR. CARSON.

MR. CARSON, DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF

THAT THIS IS YOUR DOG?
ANY PAPERS OF ANY KIND?

I LOOKED FOR THOSE PAPERS
LAST NIGHT.

-I THINK KERRY STOLE THOSE, TOO.
-KERRY STOLE THOSE, TOO.

OBJECTION!
HE EVEN SAID "I THINK."

MR. CARSON, HAS KERRY DUTTON,
YOUR OLD GIRLFRIEND,

EVER BORROWED ANYTHING
AND NEVER GIVEN IT BACK?

OBJECTION.

OVERRULED.

THEY OBJECT A LOT.

YES. SHE LIKED TO WEAR
MY DRESS SHIRTS.

SHE'S WEARING
ONE OF THEM NOW.

REALLY?
CAN YOU PROVE THAT?

WELL, THE DRY CLEANER PUTS
MY NAME ON THE INSIDE COLLAR.

YOUR HONOR, WE'D REQUEST

THAT THE PLAINTIFF
REMOVE HER SHIRT, PLEASE.

IN PRIVATE OF COURSE.

-YEAH, I GUESS.
-OBJECTION! THIS IS TOTALLY --

YOU KNOW WHAT?!
HE CAN HAVE HIS SHIRT --

AND WHO LEAVES THEIR DOG
WITH THEIR HOUSEKEEPER?

UNLESS THEY'RE
SLEEPING WITH HER!

I'M GUESSING THESE ARE SOME
OF THE ISSUES?

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

I HAVE ISSUES WITH, UM --
WITH MINDY AND LISA AND BRENDA.

I DON'T EVEN LIKE
YOUR STUPID DOG.

ORDER IN THIS COURT!
CONTROL YOUR CLIENT.

UH, YOUR HONOR, IF WE COULD JUST
REQUEST A MOMENT.

WHO'S BRENDA?

YOUR HONOR, YESTERDAY
WHEN LADY WHATEVER

RAN INTO MS. DUTTON'S LAP,

IT WAS THE SCENT
OF MR. CARSON'S SHIRT

THAT THE DOG PICKED UP ON,
NOT THE PERSON.

SPECULATION.

EVEN IF THE SHIRT SHE WAS
WEARING BELONGED TO HIM,

THAT'S NOT PROOF OF OWNERSHIP,
YOUR HONOR.

Peter: YOUR HONOR,
WE'RE IN THE PROCESS

OF TRACKING DOWN
THE DOG'S PAPERS,

AND WE'RE CONFIDENT
WE'LL HAVE THEM BY TOMORROW.

GIVEN THE PLAINTIFF'S
APPARENT MENTAL INSTABILITY

AND THE DOG'S
COMFORT LEVEL WITH MR. CARSON...

HERE COMES THE PAIN.

...I AM TAKING THIS CASE
FROM THE JURY

AND ALLOWING CUSTODY
OF LADY BOW WOW TO ANDRE CARSON

UNTIL THE DEFENSE CAN PROVIDE
PAPERS PROVING OWNERSHIP.

AND THE NEXT TIME YOU FOUR
WANT TO OUT-JACKASS EACH OTHER,

DO IT OUT OF MY COURTROOM.

COURT'S ADJOURNED.

-YES, YOUR HONOR.
-FANTASTIC.

THANK YOU.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE OKAY?

LIKE I SAID LAST NIGHT,
I TOOK LULU AWAY FROM KERRY

BECAUSE I WANTED HER
TO HAVE A GOOD HOME.

NOW I KNOW SHE DOES.

-THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.
-OF COURSE.

HERE.

I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS.

NO. I-I COULDN'T.

PLEASE.

YEAH, THANK YOU.

BESIDES, I SAW ONE
JUST LIKE IT AT TARGET.

HEY, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CALL THIS ONE A TIE?

THEY SAY TIES ARE KIND OF
LIKE KISSING YOUR SISTER,

BUT IN THIS CASE,
MY SISTER'S HOT.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU SHOULD BRING HER
BY THE HOUSE SOMETIME.

OH, SURE.

HEY, WE HEARD YOU GUYS MIGHT BE
HAVING A PARTY THIS WEEKEND.

-YEAH.
-WE COULD CLEAR OUR SCHEDULES.

HEY, WHEN YOU'RE READY,
THE PHONE WILL RING.

-ALL RIGHT.
-GET OUT OF HERE. [ LAUGHS ]

YOU ENJOY BEING TALLER,
DON'T YOU?

SO MUCH.

[ Sighing ] OHH.

HAS THE JURY
REACHED A VERDICT?

WE HAVE, YOUR HONOR.

TO THE CHARGE OF ROBBERY,
NOT GUILTY.

TO THE CHARGE OF ASSAULT,
NOT GUILTY.

TO THE CHARGE
OF PETTY THEFT, GUILTY.

OH, GOD! NO! NO!

NO, NO, NO,
THIS IS GOOD NEWS.

PETTY THEFT
IS JUST A MISDEMEANOR.

IT'S PROBATION. THERE'S NO JAIL TIME.
THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED.

-THIS IS GOOD.
-FANTASTIC.

-IT'S VERY GOOD.
-HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?

-THIS ONE'S ON US.
-OH, NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT.

WE CHARGE A FEE NOW
AT INFELD-DANIELS.

I WANT 12 WHEELS
OF YOUR CAMEMBERT.

YOU GOT IT.

AND I'M GONNA THROW IN
MY SUIT FOR YOU.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SARCASM.

I GOT TWO LAWYERS
I WANT TO RECOMMEND TO YOU.

YEAH? WHY DON'T YOU MAKE
A HOCKEY STICK

OUT OF SOME PARMESAN
AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?!

WE SHOULD DO THIS
MORE OFTEN.

OH, CAN WE?

LISTEN, FAIR WARNING,
IF I PULL MY EAR LIKE THIS,

IT MEANS DON'T STICK AROUND.

YOU'RE HOOKING UP
WITH EVANTHIA TONIGHT?

WELL, WE HAVE BEEN KNOWN
TO REUNITE OCCASIONALLY.

IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
BUT DO YOU THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA?

I MEAN, IF EVANTHIA'S
HOLDING OUT HOPE

THAT SHE STILL HAS A CHANCE
WITH YOU...

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

UNLESS YOU'RE HOPING

YOU STILL HAVE A THIRD CHANCE
WITH HER?

SHE ENDED IT WITH YOU.

I HAVEN'T GOT THIS FAR, HANNA,
BY TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.

-EVANTHIA!
-STANTON?

WHAT THE HE--
YOU STOLE THE DOG AGAIN?

WHO'S THAT?

WE BROUGHT YOU A RESCUE.
HER NAME'S TABATHA.

HEY, I USED YOUR RAZOR.
WHAT?

OH.

WHAT'S UP?

UM, ANDRE SAID I COULD HAVE
VISITING RIGHTS, SO...

I DON'T REALLY NEED THAT DOG.

MAYBE ONE OF YOU SHOULD TAKE IT.

NO. NO PETS OR CHILDREN
ALLOWED IN MY...

-ALLERGIES.
-I REMEMBER.

WHEN I BROUGHT THAT BICHON HOME
WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED.

YES. I REMEMBER.

SWEET. UH-HUH.

I BETTER BE GOING.

LIVERPOOL PLAYING
MAN U. ON THE...DISH.

UM...EVANTHIA...

EVANTHIA...

...AS ALWAYS.

ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU,
STANTON.

HMM.

ANDRE!

ANDRE! ANDRE!

Jared: I DON'T KNOW IF I CARE
FOR THIS NEW NORMAL --

BEING EQUITY PARTNERS, MAKING RAIN,

HAVING TO HANDLE
CORPORATE JACKASSES.

Peter: IT'S ABOUT
TAKING THE RIGHT CASES.

WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE CULTURE,
NOT HAVE THE CULTURE CHANGE US.

WELL, THEN I DON'T
WANT TO GET MOTORCYCLES.

-WHY NOT?
-'CAUSE.

DUDE, RIDING A MOTORCYCLE

IS EMBLEMATIC
OF ALL THINGS REBEL.

AND WE ARE NOTHING,
IF NOT TOTAL BADASS REBELS.

RIGHT, BUT WE WERE BADASSES
TO BEGIN WITH.

WE DON'T NEED MOTORCYCLES
TO PROVE IT.

COME ON, BOY.

YOU BETTER NOT
BE TALKING TO ME.

-COME ON, SKELETOR.
-WE'RE NOT CALLING IT SKELETOR.

WE'RE NOT CALLING HER CLAPTON.

WELL, HOW ABOUT NO NAME
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT KEEPING IT

UNTIL WE JUST FIND A GOOD HOME
FOR HER, RIGHT?

HELLO.

HOW YOU DOING?

[ MEOWS ]

JARED?

YES, PETER.

DID CLAPTON JUST PEE
ON MY LEG?

NO...

BUT SKELETOR DID.

COME ON...CLAPOTOR.