All language subtitles for Franklin.&.Bash.S01E05.You.Cant.Take.It.with.You.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.264-CHDWEB_track3_[eng]

[♪♪♪]

CARMEN:
Okay. Fourth and final hole.

Closest to the library door
without hitting it.

Franklin and Bash are away.

Franklin and Bash is away.
We're a team.

Oh, yeah? They didn't do it like
that at my country club.

Go.

Go. Sweep. Sweep.

Sweep. Sweep. Sweep.

Hold. Sweep. Oh. Uh--

-Stanton. Hi.
-PETER: Heh. Sorry.

-You know what? We were just--
-Don't bother.

Duncan Morrow.
His daughter, Eileen.

Pleasure. Peter Bash.

Sports-memorabilia people?
We've been expecting you.

Did you know, by the way,
the best sports literature

works in direct relation
to the size of the ball?

For instance,
the smaller the ball,

the better the book.
Golf in the Kingdom.

-Did not know that.
-News to me.

Well, now you do.

-Seriously, he needs an MRI.
-Yeah, I know.

-Our office.
-Yeah. Thank you.

EILEEN: Um, leather
is the perfect medium.

They say fingerprints can last
up to 50 years on a baseball.

"Ron Hassey,
Dennis Eckersley,

Doug Harvey."

From 1988.

Wait a minute.
This can't be--

This was never found.

Because I had it.

If that's
the Kirk Gibson home-run ball,

-I'll have to lock that door.
-It's Gibson's home-run ball.

-No way.
-DUNCAN: Yeah.

-No way. I was at that game.
-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah. Greatest home run ever.
-Okay.

It landed five rows behind me
and ended up at my feet.

You never showed it to anybody?

Well, I kind of liked the legend
of the missing ball.

I had it authenticated
for my father's 65th birthday.

Aw, wasn't that
sweet of her?

Ugh. No. It turned out
to be a huge mistake.

My brothers were
at the game with him.

And they're saying
they caught the ball.

They're suing me
for the ball.

They wanna sell it.

-What? Why?
-Yeah.

It's got to be worth three,
four hundred grand easy, right?

A fool knows the price
of everything and the value

of nothing.

That's beautiful.

Mr. Morrow,

we're gonna get this ball
the respect it deserves.

[PETE'S "MIXTURE" PLAYING]

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ Such a vivid picture ♪

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ If I must say so myself ♪

So, Colin, is there ever
a bad time to buy a house?

-Uh...
-When my brother's the agent.

-He couldn't close a suitcase.
-I closed Ann Rushing.

Yeah, to get back at me
after I dumped her.

You were better off
with Shelley.

-Shelley?
-What do you guys want?

You've begun court proceedings
with your attorney for the ball,

but your father and sister
suggested we have a casual chat.

Maybe see if we can
sort this out.

Listening. Go.

The law became clear during
the fight for Barry Bonds' ball.

I realize saying Bonds' name

in the same sentence as
Kirk Gibson, sacrilege, uncool.

Barry Bonds?

Giant.

Archrival.

Okay, um, a ball hit
out of the field of play

is owned by the first person
who picks it up.

Exact possession
is nine-tenths of the law.

But we possess the ball.

It's our ball. We picked it up.

"We"? Together?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Colin helped me

pick it up.

Heh, heh.
You're actually gonna--?

You know what? I wish
we could come to an agreement.

I really do.

But we'll just see
what happens in court.

Alright? Okay.
Thanks for your time.

[♪♪♪]

Thought that went well.

-PETER: What was that about?
-Their lawyer's incompetent.

-Clearly.
-I was hoping for a settlement,

but with this guy,
we would win possession.

It's like I'm facing
batting-practice pitching here.

See, I hate when
you get like this.

-Like what?
-All cocky.

I'm always cocky.
It's an irritating asset.

-Works well for me.
-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah.
-Buffalo.

Peter, don't.

That's like reminding
a batter about a pitcher

who once plunked him.

You are liberal
with the analogies.

It's a case about a baseball.

I like my metaphors to reflect
the case I'm working on.

-No, you don't.
-I do now.

-Buffalo, New York.
-Seriously, shut up.

Your junior high could have won
the academic decathlon.

Except you skipped
a review session

and said Buffalo was
the state capital of New York.

-Used to be.
-To use one of your analogies,

you took a fast ball down
the middle for strike three.

-I did not.
-Listen to me.

-You listen--
-Never underestimate anybody.

Nothing's ever easy.

-You listening?
-No.

-You listening now?
-Yes.

-Is this sexting?
-HANNA: Gentlemen,

I have a client
I'd prefer not to be alone with.

-Not safe?
-Yeah, for him.

You know a Ronny Streppi?

-Douchey Dad?
-Douchey Dad.

Yeah. In there.

Yeah, so I signed this waiver

so this reality show
could film my life.

I must have been
out of my mind.

At least they put you
in a sweet pad.

You've seen it?

'Cause the only thing
they wanna show is my gut.

I think they're all about
making me look like a tool.

How did they make you
look like a drunk?

Lighting your chest hair on fire
in front of your kids?

Yeah. Yeah, that got
out of control. Heh.

I'm not used
to them Belgian beers.

Tell me about it.
It's like 20-proof.

Made by monks,
but monks who like to party.

Right. Right.
Well, here's the deal.

Half of America knows me
now as "The Douchey Dad,"

including my kids.
They're embarrassed.

and they wanna avoid me.

So you guys gotta
get me out of this contract.

And one of you two
is joining my team.

Well, I would love to, but I'm
defending Kirk Gibson's base--

Bash, welcome aboard.
I'll have the files sent.

Okay? Thanks. Bye.

Wish I could, but--

You know why
she asked you, right?

'Cause she's tossing you
like a dead battery?

Yeah, that sounds
about right.

Guys?
I'm a real, live human being.

No, I mean I can hear
what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know

if it's client-attorney
privilege, or whatever that is.

Good times.

[♪♪♪]

-Ahem. Gentlemen, a word?
-Blow us.

We're busy
saving Kirk Gibson's ball.

That's more than a word.

Yeah, but I like him.
He gets extra.

Guys, seriously.

Something someone sent me

is now
on the Infeld Daniels server.

Porn?

[SIGHS]

-It's complicated.
-It's complicated porn?

Maybe we underestimated you.
Why don't you let us look?

Look, I wanna be a judge
someday.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

-No.
-Yeah, you do.

And I don't want this
to be a vetting issue.

I need it off.

-Dude, talk to IT.
-I did.

Do you think that you two
would be my first choice?

But if I use them,
there's this process.

I need this to be outsourced.

Wow, must be bad.

A crazy fraternity brother.

[SIGHS]

We know one guy
who might be able to help.

[♪♪♪]

I'm not sure if you read our
motion for summary judgment.

We're actually pretty proud
of it. Yeah.

BAYLES: I don't know
if you've noticed --

Opposing counsel
has not yet arrived.

Huh. You know,
I hadn't noticed that.

I was too busy being
respectful of the court's time

to even take a look at
the tardiness of said counsel.

-But--
-PETER: Dude.

JARED: It was Cyndi Lauper
who said respect--

Dude, I'm lawyering.

Dude.

Gentlemen.

Your Honor,
may I have a moment?

Sure. Why not?
I guess I've got all day.

I'm afraid to ask what
happened to their first lawyer.

You got blood in your teeth.

I contacted Greg and Colin
and offered my services.

They accepted.

So you went to work
for a big firm, huh?

Thought you weren't
gonna.

Well, it's a good fit.

After we're done,

I hope you don't regret
that decision.

[♪♪♪]

Summary judgment
just got a little tougher.

Who is that guy?

That's Leonard Franklin.

My father.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

JARED: Last time I guess, was,
yeah, the holidays.

He reminded me
where he went to law school

with Yale Christmas songs.

Unbelievable.
You get a cool case

and Leonard the Impaler
shows up.

Probably because
I got a cool case.

You okay with this?
If you need help--

No, I got it. No worries.

Jared, I heard you had an
unplanned

family reunion in court.

Oh, yeah. Everything but
the potato salad. It was fun.

Sorry. I wouldn't have put you
on the case had I known.

Guys, I'm fine with this.
My dad's a lawyer. I'm a lawyer.

-He's a lawyer who spanked you.
-That's true.

Peter, would you mind
if I had a word

with your partner in private?

Sure.

Listen, Jared,

there's something

that I want you to know.

I know. Leonard Franklin took on
the second-biggest union.

Leonard Franklin rewrote
search-and-seizure.

Leonard Franklin was
in Wine Spectator twice.

-I got it.
-Twice? That's absurd.

It doesn't matter.

To me, he's just the guy

who wouldn't let me watch
Walker, Texas Ranger

because it made
"a mockery of the law."

-Are you good to go with this?
-Absolutely.

Hell, it might even satisfy
a family-holiday obligation.

Alright. Good luck.

I don't need it.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

If my father
was Leonard Franklin

and I was about to go up
against him,

I'd be working right now.

If my father
was Leonard Franklin,

I would be working
for Leonard Franklin.

Did Jared ever get that chance?

Yeah, and he turned it down.

Imagine working for
your father, side-by-side.

It is a dream come true.

Uh, maybe in Pindaristan.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

You really--
You should lock that door.

-Or at least close it.
-They're not here.

-Yeah, I'm here for Pindar.
-Oh. Really?

Yes, I believe Jared and Peter
mentioned I needed your help.

Oh, you're the guy.

Yes. Because you are the expert
in computer law.

Follow me, Mr. Karp.

I think I can help you
with your problem.

We're gonna do some research.
It was very nice to see you.

Carmen.

Hmm.

So every file leaves
a bit count on the server.

I need a copy of the file.
I need to open it.

There's no other way?
Like control-alt-delete or--?

No, there's no other way.

[SIGHS]

I was afraid of this.

This is a contract.

It will pay you $5000

to remove the file
from the server,

provided you adhere
to a gag order--

which stipulates
that if you ever discuss

the contents of this file,
I'll...

just kill you.

What's on the file?

Sign.

Mm.

Sign it.

-Mm.
-Sign it, Pindar.

Not a great sleeper.
I have insomnia.

I did a sleep study.
They hook you up to electrodes

and test your REM,
sleep apnea, the whole deal.

I didn't know they were
videoing me all night too.

I wanted the study to go well,
so I relaxed myself.

Oh, you sing too?

No. I relaxed myself.

Relax.

I'm not gonna say it again.

I still don't know what--
I just got it.

They sent it to me and now it's
on the Infeld/Daniels server.

-I need you to get it off.
-It's not a big deal, Mr. Karp.

Occasionally when I can't relax,
I also rough up the suspect...

till he orgasms.

Although,
I don't always tape myself.

I'm afraid
that if my mom finds it,

what's her reaction--

Find it. Destroy it.

Tell no one.

Good night.

[♪♪♪]

MAN:
High fly ball to right field.

Oh! Ha, ha, ha.

-She is gone.
-Oh, I still get goose bumps.

And I wish I could grow
a 'stache like that.

I gotta be honest.

[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

Oh! Now, see, the video

doesn't show
who caught the ball.

It almost shows the awesomeness
of that moment,

almost.

You love this ball,
don't you, Greg?

Yes, I do.

Yes, you do.
Because when Kirk Gibson

rocked this out of the park
on that day,

this became more than a ball.

It became the beating heart
of a people.

-Didn't it?
-Absolutely.

I mean, look at their faces.

Look at their faces.

-They are moved.
-Objection.

-Counsel is testifying.
-Sustained.

They are moved
because those fans,

and I include myself
and my client,

believe that baseball
is more than America's game.

It is our nation's
unifying religion

and this ball, this ball,

it's our holy grail.

Reverend Franklin,
is there a question?

[CHUCKLES]

I'm sorry, Your Honor.
Guys like Greg and I,

we bleed red, white,
and Dodger blue, right?

-Absolutely.
-Absolutely.

Did the Dodgers get
to the playoffs last year?

Uh--

-I don't know.
-You don't know?

But you love America's pastime.

And the Dodgers.

And this ball.

What kind of man doesn't know
whether his favorite team

made the playoffs last year?

[♪♪♪]

-That went well.
-It did.

I mean, what just happened?

Well, we just successfully
subpoenaed

all the reality company's
footage of you.

We'll use it to prove

they've been
depicting you out of context.

You know, bad stuff
making you look bad is bad.

-It is bad.
-Ronny, what are you doing, man?

Hey, I'm trying to get off
your show, Lucian.

Yeah?
How's that working out?

Come on. Show up for work.
Your kids miss you.

' kids think I'm a jerk
because of you.

I don't think it's thanks to me.

-Really?
-Come on, big fella. Come on.

PETER:
Come on. Let's go this way.

Driving home from the stadium,

who maintained control
of the ball?

I did. I put it in my pocket.

They were fighting over it,
like usual.

-You remember what you said?
-Yeah, something like,

"When you stop fighting
like a couple of nitwits

and grow up,
I'll give you the ball back."

My clients have
that exact same recollection.

Mr. Morrow, uh,

are your sons in fact
now grown-up?

Well, uh...

-I guess.
-No need to guess.

According to the great state
of California,

being a grown-up starts
at the age of 18,

for most people.

Objection. Argumentative.
And lame.

Overruled.

It seems all three parties
in this case

recall making a verbal contract.

Objection. Opposing counsel
knows full well

verbal contracts
don't really exist

between fathers and sons.

Case law shows
that contracts with minors

are voidable only
to protect the minor

and should such contract

inure to the benefit
of the minor,

they are fully enforceable.

And I think opposing counsel
needs to brush up

on Robert's Rules
of courtroom decorum.

Really? Should I?
Who's Robert?

Okay, counselors,
approach the bench, please.

Gentlemen,
are we really gonna do this?

Opposing counsel is implying
a binding contract,

between a father and son,

even though I know he himself
broke such a contract to his son

when he promised a BMX bike
if he went to Latin camp

-when he was 9.
-Relevance, Your Honor?

None.

If you wanna tell Daddy
he didn't have any respect,

you'll just have to wait until
you're on your third eggnog

like the rest of the world.

This is not therapy for you.
This is court.

Now, you start acting
like a lawyer

or you're done here.

-Understood?
-Yes.

BAYLES:
Proceed, please.

Ooh.

[♪♪♪]

What's with the books? Daddy
making you do your homework?

I wanna beat him.
He thinks I'm this legal clown.

So? Clowns can be badass.

Yeah. Pennywise
from Stephen King's seminal It,

-terrifying.
-Insane Clown Posse.

Krusty.

Huh? Come on. We'll help you
kick Leonard's ass

with your big red clown shoe.
What happened today?

My dad somehow turned Duncan
trying to control his sons

from fighting
in the back of a car

twenty years ago
into a legal contract.

You couldn't kneecap
that argument?

Uh...

I may have gotten
a little emotional.

Come on. We all know
family can make people crazy.

Hey, guys,
this is the raw footage of Ronny

we subpoenaed
from the reality show.

-Okay. Is this it?
-It's 1300 hours.

They video-papered us.
Go through it.

Try to find scenes
that make Ronny look good.

I'd love to, but I'm busy.
I'm working for Mr. Karp.

Oh, yeah. Big case.

Surprisingly big.

Hey, why can't you help?

I will,
but I wanna help Jared first.

No, I'm good.
I don't need help.

They're brothers.
Find the pressure points.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, you got a sec?
It's about your douchey dad.

-Yeah, I guess.
-So Peter wanted me

to go through the reality
footage and find clips of Ronny

that actually
make him look good.

-They don't pay you enough.
-Agreed.

So should the clips

show footage of kindness
or competence?

-Seriously?
-Yeah.

I'd settle for anything where
he isn't a self-involved dolt

desperately milking
his 15 minutes.

Okay. Not a fan.

I prefer stars
with some talent

more than the ability
to play

"The Star-Spangled Banner"
with their armpit.

I get that. But I'd hate
what people would think

if a reality crew
was following me around 24-7.

I'm sure they wouldn't catch you

using your quasi-fame
to score a free flat-screen.

I went through an awkward phase.

Not everybody can be perfect
all the time.

Would you call the mood
of the crowd of Game 1 electric?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

If that's the case,
then why did you ask

to leave the game
in the fifth inning

to go home
to watch Full House?

That's not true.
I wanted to stay.

My brother wanted to leave.

-Oh, that's bull--
-Excuse me.

Sorry.

Lucky you stayed, or you would
have missed the home run.

It's your position
that you both caught the ball

at the exact same moment.

How did you even do that?

It rolled around.
We grabbed it at the same time.

Isn't it possible
that you caught the ball first,

even by just a fraction
of a second?

Uh, well--

That would be a "no,"
dickwad.

You know what? You speak
out of turn one more time,

I'm holding you in contempt.

No. We definitely grabbed it
at the same time.

I see.

And which one
should have grabbed Shelley?

Excuse me? Shelley?

Really, Eileen?

COLIN:
He didn't grab her.

He killed Shelley.

-WOMAN: Oh!
-I didn't kill Shelley.

Shelley was his turtle.

Turtle? What could this possibly
have to do with the case?

A little leeway?

Agreed. Your client
should not have said "dickwad."

He is a dickwad. He let his
turtle escape, blamed it on me.

-You ran it over!
-Did not run it over.

Really? Turtle shells
end up cracked on their own.

It's a male turtle.
He names it "Shelley."

Uh, you checked
for its little turtle weenie?

-LEONARD: Stop.
-Order. Order. Shut up! Shut up!

Alright.

LEONARD:
Calm down.

BAYLES:
Go ahead, Mr. Franklin.

Uh...

You know, I'm sorry,
Your Honor. I, uh--

You know,
I don't like confrontation. Heh.

Sorry. I've lost
my train of thought. Um...

Would you mind reading back
the verbal agreement

opposing counsel made
binding yesterday?

"When you stop fighting

like a couple of nitwits
and grow up,

I'll give you the ball back."

How would you folks
describe what those two--?

Your honor,
I'd like this stricken.

My clients were manipulated.

Because they're nitwits,
fighting ones,

which I believe has bearing
on our verbal contract.

I'm gonna agree.

The jury is free to consider
Mr. Morrow and Mr. Morrow

"fighting like nitwits."

[♪♪♪]

Well, of course

you can have your picture
taken with the ball, Jared.

-That's going up on the wall.
-Ha, ha. Okay.

Of course, my firm may
want actual payment.

Oh. Heh, heh, heh.

-Would you excuse me?
-Yeah, sure.

I'll get the car.
Meet you at the corner.

-Alright.
-Okay.

I think Duncan might be willing

to give ball-visitation rights
to his sons.

No, thank you.
My clients aren't interested.

Really?

Yeah. It's their ball.

See you in court tomorrow.

Hey, dad, you know
what I'm gonna do tonight?

Cuddle with
Kirk Gibson's home-run ball.

See, Mr. Morrow said
that if we won,

I could take it for a while,
and I think we just won.

-WOMAN: Hey.
-MAN: Look out!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[♪♪♪]

Today is what my dad
would call

perfect baseball weather.

'Cause for him it was always
perfect baseball weather.

It was always a perfect day

to spend with friends and family
at the ballpark.

My father liked everybody.

He was always there to listen.

I hope you don't blame yourself.

-For what?
-For what happened.

I don't.

Good.
It's like a Greek tragedy.

Oedipus, Antigone.
It's all sort of inevitable.

What was inevitable?

That the boys get the baseball.

I'm the executor of the estate.
It's up to the children to pick.

The majority of the children
picked me.

He left them the ball?

-No. He died intestate, no will.
-I know what it means.

You should know the ball
is part of Duncan's estate,

which, without a will,

automatically goes
to his children.

They'll have to sell it,
divide the proceeds.

Listen,

you showed some promise
in court.

Oh, a little discipline,

a little less sizzle,
more steak,

you could be a real lawyer.

[IN RAISED VOICE]
I won.

EILEEN:
He wanted us to succeed in life.

It was good fun, son.

We'll do it again sometime.

There's no way
I'm giving you that ball.

EILEEN: He never let success
get in the way of our--

-Right.
-GIRL: Do it again.

Some roadkill here.

Okay, so this
makes you look good.

You dressed up as SpongeBob

to go trick-or-treating
with the kids.

Yeah, and I painted that
washing-machine box by myself.

Couldn't see and walked
into my neighbor's cauldron.

That's all they showed on TV.

It made me look like a drunk.

Oh, so you're saying
that you weren't?

That's not the point, right?

It was a great episode.

Wow, she scares me.

Don't look her in the eyes.

This was on Perez
this morning.

Heh. "Ronny's Mystery Hottie."

You are out of your league
on this one, buddy.

I know. That's the point.

Every week, they put me
with a mystery hottie.

And they mock me
because I'm not hot.

It's okay,
except my kids see this.

I need my kids to respect me.
I'm, like, their dad.

That's been blowing up
on me all year.

So you got to do something
about it.

You're a public figure.

I'm not misidentified.
There's not much I can do.

[SIGHS] Wow. Well,
better tell my kids.

Uh, in that shirt?

You're right. Someone told me I
was an autumn and I argued.

I said, "I'm a spring."
And now I got this on--

-No. You look good.
-Are you serious?

Yeah.

I needed that. Thank you.

Excuse me, ma'am.

[♪♪♪]

JARED:
You wanted to see me?

We're trying to find
the baseball.

Okay.

-Do you know where it is?
-I have no idea.

Really?

Yes, really.
Stop looking at me

like I'm lying
about denting your Jag.

-You did, it wasn't a dent.
-It was an old Jag.

And moments before
Mr. Morrow's demise,

you told me you were going
to cuddle with the ball.

You know, I can say that
and still sound cool.

BAYLESS: We also saw you
with the ball in court.

If you don't release it,
you will be held in contempt.

I don't have it.

This morning Jared said to me,

"No way
I'm giving you that ball."

BAYLES:
Is that true?

[SIGHS]

[ON SCREEN]
Alright.

I think.

Oh, God. If I have to look
at one more video

of Ronny in a mirror
trying to find an ab,

I might kill somebody.

You can't afford
the assault charge.

[PHONE RINGING]

Where's that waiver
Ronny signed?

-Ah. Thank you.
-This is Peter Bash.

Hey, Eileen.

I'll be right there.

Um, Jared needs my help.

We're due in court
in a couple hours.

Burn the DVD. I don't think
making a Ronny glamour reel

is gonna work.

[♪♪♪]

We're gonna try something else.

I mean, I'm sure your dad's
proud of you, right?

Exactly.
Why wouldn't he be?

You know,
you're a good listener.

That's a quality
you don't find in people.

and you have that.

I'm sure you have
other skills.

-Hey.
-JARED: Hey.

I'm sorry
I didn't call right away.

I wanted to hang out with some
scumbags who weren't lawyers.

Eileen told me
your dad threw you in jail.

-Second time, actually.
-That's right.

I think he's starting
to like it.

She's got something
to tell you.

Oh. Excuse me.

I know where the ball is.

Where?

With my father.

In heaven?

I buried him with it.

[♪♪♪]

He always said
he wanted to be buried

with his wooden chest.

It held all the things
he loved in it.

It had my mother's locket,
their love letters,

the little silver fish
they got together in Mexico.

Your Honor, there is
only one clear course of action.

Do not say dig him up.

I would never say that.

I would say "exhume"
or "disinter."

Oh, my God.

LEONARD:
As executor of the estate,

I have
a fiduciary responsibility

to secure its assets.

Really? Should we "exhume"
his suit? His shoes?

If they had a value
of half a million dollars,

I'd say yes. That ball
is not safe in the ground.

I'm sorry. Is Mr. Franklin
making a grave-robber argument?

-Unless this is Transylvania--
-I wish I was in Transylvania.

In Supreme Court decision

Dougherty v. Mercantile Trust,
Justice stated:

"The dead are to rest
where they have been lain."

Hmm. That is a sound,
reasonable legal argument.

-Thanks.
-But Dougherty goes on to say:

"Unless reason of substance
is brought forward

for disturbing their repose."

BAYLES:
Well, um...

[♪♪♪]

Dig him up.

PETER:
Whoops.

I gotta get to court.
Your dad's a dick.

Hey. That's my dad
you're talking about.

[♪♪♪]

Ahem. Hanna,
we're good?

-DVD's in the player?
-Yeah, but--

Mr. Bash.
Can we please light this candle?

Yes, Your Honor.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Ronny Streppi has been presented

to this country
as the "Douchey Dad."

We're gonna show you
a different side.

RONNY [ON TV]:
But it's still good.

Twelve-second rule.

Alright, guys,
losing my drawers here.

Here you go.

Just like a good dad.

Get it all over. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There you go. Here you go.

That dog is smarter
than those kids.

His son. Apple doesn't fall
far from the moron tree.

This family gives
White trash a bad name.

The dog's like,
"Hey, get me out of here.

I'd rather live
with a homeless guy. Ruff."

And her? Might as well put
a tramp stamp on her right now.

How long till she twirls
from a pole?

Put your head back
and pinch it like this.

I've been in a few fights,
alright?

I think we can agree Ronny
became understandably agitated.

And assaulted me in court.

Hey, you're a moron, Ronny.

You got something
gross on your nose.

You actually do.

You getting this?

But an entertaining moron
who's gonna make me rich.

Our client just committed
a felony in front of a judge.

I didn't go to a top-10 school,
but that's bad.

Maybe not.

[♪♪♪]

And there it is.

You found the file.

Yes. If we make the server
think it's corrupt,

it will be overwritten
to protect the whole sector.

Awesome.

So just enter your access code
and the file will be destroyed.

And your file is

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

That's unexpected.

What?

Infeld Daniels must have
a very up-to-date IT Department.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

What are you talking about,
Pindar?

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

Cyclic redundancy check.

Basically,
it protected the file

-by redundancy.
-Redundancy to who?

To me? To you?
To the rest of the firm?

Definitely to me and you.

But also a few circuit
court judges.

This is not my fault.
It's hard to keep up--

Just 'cause I'm Indian, you--
I'm more of a Mac guy.

This is what you do.
You craft an e-mail to everybody

who got your masturbation video,

and you say,
"My computer was hacked.

There's a virus on it.

Please don't open.
Destroy this file."

There's one.

Why would--?
That didn't fix anything.

[♪♪♪]

Look at that.
The Williams family.

One, two, three generations
all buried together.

There is a hell.

Don't be angry, Jared.

Seriously?
You put me in jail.

I was performing my legal duty
as an executor of an estate.

Keep telling yourself that.

Let me ask you,

why did you become a lawyer?

Are you kidding? Look around.

This is sexy.

LEONARD:
Heh, heh. Always the jokes.

Aside from the opportunity
for three more years of school,

I wanted to help people.

Not follow in
the old man's footsteps?

Sorry.

Still, you're a lawyer.

Yeah, but for me,
it's not about winning.

It's about getting
the right wins.

And I guess
beating the old man someday

-is one of those wins.
-Yep.

It's amazing.

It took a damn baseball
to get us to this.

It's Kirk Gibson's
home-run ball, Dad.

It's huge. I should have
been there to see him hit it,

but we had to leave
in the seventh. Remember?

I never tell anybody that.

Sometimes leaving a game early
is what good lawyers do.

So you can sneak away
from Mom?

Go see your girlfriend?

I was 10.
I wasn't an idiot.

No. You weren't.

Here it is.

Open it. I need to make sure
the ball is inside.

Chain of custody.

What's that?

"To be opened in the event
some bastard digs me up."

Oh, it's for you.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Why didn't you tell us
about the envelope in the box?

I didn't know about it,
Your Honor.

-JARED: That's his handwriting?
-It is.

Alrighty.
Let's see what it says.

"I, Duncan Morrow,

am the sole author
of this document,

which, if you are reading,
means someone dug me up.

Should any of my children
have had a hand in that,

they forfeit alrights
to my Kirk Gibson baseball,

which I hereby bequeath, first,

to any of my heirs
who did not want to dig me up,

second to the baseball
Hall of Fame,

third to the"--
It goes on and on,

but I think we have a winner.

[♪♪♪]

I'm sorry you had to spend
a little time locked up.

Personally, I find it
kind of centering.

I spoke to the judge.
You're a first-time offender.

You'll get six months'
probation.

-Why is that good?
-Your network contract.

The morality clause.
"The services of any contestant

charged with assault
is immediately terminated."

Dude, you're off the show.

-No way. No way.
-[LAUGHS]

Oh, my gosh.
I get to see my kids. Okay.

-Oh. Is it Thursday?
-It is.

I know a place that has
free tacos for kids,

2-for-1 well drinks
for daddy-o. Bye.

That was a very
Franklin-and-Bash move.

Really?
I'd say it was very Hanna,

but I don't name courtroom
maneuvers after myself.

Then you have no future
with Jared.

[HANNA CHUCKLES]

Jared.

So I'll see you
in a few months?

Christmas? Um--

Um, you know, Dad, actually,
I'm probably gonna stay--

No, I'm talking about appeal.

All of this is predicated
on the ball

being a part of Duncan's estate.

But ownership of the ball
is still in dispute.

You know, there are
easier ways to see me.

Are there?

Probably not.

I think I just figured out
why you're so tough on me.

Because I want you to do well?

No. Because I think deep down,
whether you know it or not,

you want me
to be better than you.

Boy's got potential, Stanton.

Why we hired him.

Yeah. Just try not
to screw him up.

Well, if you couldn't do that
with your bullshit, Leonard,

I suspect the lad's impervious.

See you, son.

You know my father?

Why didn't you tell me?

I was going to tell you
at the courthouse the other day,

and then I saw you

ready to take on your father

with typical
Jared Franklin aplomb

and I thought,

"Why burden you with this
extraneous information?"

It's like when you're skiing
down a glacier.

You know, you're not thinking
of the crevasses.

When I was in Patagonia,
for instance--

That's awesome.
But just tell me,

did your relationship
with my father

have anything to do
with you hiring me?

No. I hired you
because you and your partner

make a wonderful addition
to my firm.

Oh, yeah. Your whole team.
Real pros.

Oh, Mr. Karp.
I got your e-mail.

Oh, just ignore that.
I got hacked.

Well, I did set
my spam filter for you.

Unless, of course,
you were thinking of me.

[CHUCKLING]

What was all that about?

[♪♪♪]

I think she's crazy.

PETER: Infeld didn't tell you
how he knew Leonard?

Nope.

-But there's history?
-Yeah. For sure.

They definitely do not
dig each other at all.

-Something happened.
-Tsh.

What?

You drive on the wrong side
of the road,

you put milk in your tea,
you like colored money.

Say, "Well done, boys."

-Infeld boned my mom.
-[LAUGHS]

-That's what you're going with?
-I'm saying...

It was the '80s.

Your dad was fooling around.
Your mom needed attention.

-I couldn't be there for her.
-Ha, ha, ha.

-Let me ask you this.
-Hmm?

Would you want Infeld to be
your dad instead of Leonard?

Come on, I'm eating. Alright?
We're here celebrating, okay?

-Let's change the station.
-It was inappropriate. Sorry.

-This is a good day.
-Thank you.

You get to have sex
with Heidi Klum.

Okay, but?

Your mom has to have sex
with Infeld.

-Man, thanks.
-I gotta believe he is freaky.

-Yeah, that's true. Heh, heh.
-Yeah. Yeah.

I call this
the Peruvian swing bar.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ Such a vivid picture ♪

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ If I must say so myself ♪

♪ Oh, my, what a day
Comin' at me anyway ♪

♪ Everything I try to say
Just comes out backwards ♪

♪ Overthinkin',
Underreachin' ♪

♪ Someone tells a joke,
I'm blinkin' ♪

♪ Nothing's all
That's sinkin' in ♪

KID: Hello.