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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,120
This programme contains
adult humour.
2
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,640
Jonny, you've proposed
and I want a ring.
3
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,520
How will he get a ring with no job?
4
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:16,280
We always do it. We live together
now. We can't do it every night.
5
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,920
I want a job. No-one will have me.
6
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,400
Try not to blurt it up my back,
all right?
7
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,720
with bubbles in it
8
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:38,640
handle anything stronger now
9
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,840
I'm so tired!
10
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,640
Oh, aye... Me too.
11
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,560
How long were we doing it for then?
12
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,040
I don't know,
but I'm completely numb.
13
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,080
Numb? You're lucky!
I feel like I've been sandblasted.
14
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,800
Let's just get some sleep. See if
everything works in the morning.
15
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,000
Gaz? Yeah.
16
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,960
What if we've worn ourselves out
and can never do it again?
17
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:30,480
Then I'll go and get married.
OK. Night.
18
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,440
MUFFLED LOUD MUSIC
19
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,080
What's going on? It's downstairs.
20
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,800
Who are they? Not the Terrahawks,
is it? No, some new family.
21
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:56,040
They'll pack it in when the drugs
wear off. How long do they last?
Till Tuesday.
22
00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:03,320
Is there anything we can do? Dress
up as monks and stand outside?
I hate it when people do that to me.
23
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:10,640
Gaz, I need my sleep. Tell them to
turn it in. No way! They're rough.
Can't you just sleep through it?
24
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,680
I went before. What did they say?
25
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,760
Eh, I've got me baby here, mate.
26
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,320
Where were they from?
27
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,800
Possibly Mexico.
28
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:30,560
Did they turn the music down? No,
but I didn't ask them. I was covered
in saliva and needed a shower.
29
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:35,800
That's it. They don't know how thin
the floors are. No, they do. Watch.
30
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,680
MUFFLED SHOUTING
31
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,040
Jonny, you have to eat!
What time is it?
32
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,400
Someone used the Shreddies
to make a mosaic in the bathroom.
33
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,240
What time is it? Are you nervous?
34
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,240
Yeah. It's my first proper job.
What if no-one likes me?
35
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:13,080
They will. It's a DIY shop,
the friendliest places in the world.
It's like Disney World with dado.
36
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,600
Who's dado?
37
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,120
I don't know anything. I can't
do it. Come on! Get a move on!
38
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,920
Here, egg butties and a Penguin.
39
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:27,000
Nobody takes a pack lunch!
You're not having chips every day.
40
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,800
Now...
41
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,160
have you been for a wee?
42
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,040
Yeah.
43
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:38,680
Did you wash your hands? Janet,
urine's the cleanest substance.
44
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:43,600
Are you wearing clean underwear? No.
Why? You might have an accident.
45
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:50,680
If I did, surely the underwear
wouldn't be clean any more anyway.
You've got gunk on your face. Here.
46
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:57,360
Ugh! You want to impress
your new boss, don't you?
Your spit's like 90% tar.
47
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:01,280
Just try and be good.
We need the money. OK.
48
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,240
Set the video
for Through The Keyhole. I will.
49
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:11,720
Oh, and there's a double
As Time Goes By on at two. Daytime
TV's changed you into a woman.
50
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,440
Go!
51
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,520
Mum! I'm off! Try and get dressed
today if you can.
52
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,800
Manic depressives are so lazy!
53
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:34,520
Planning your funeral... Making
a will... That's a coincidence!
54
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,360
Stannah stairlift...
Damn you, Thora Hird!
55
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,560
Oh! I must be getting old!
56
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,320
4am. I know.
57
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,800
And then they start shagging!
58
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,600
Well, it is every man's right.
59
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:06,840
It's everyone's right to have sex.
It's not every man's right to go,
60
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,360
BABY, BABY, BABY,
BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY!
61
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,000
That was sound. Let's have coke.
62
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:21,080
BABY, BABY, BABY...! I know - I
thought they were in pain at first.
Why don't YOU make noises like that?
63
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:26,560
So your eardrums don't burst. Your
thighs make pretty good mufflers.
64
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:35,600
Yes, thank you. You need to talk to
them again. Once they know we work
in the morning, they'll understand.
65
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,920
Or they'll say...
GUTTURAL NOISES
66
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,360
Everybody's basically good
and reasonable.
67
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,320
What time are you in? Ages yet.
68
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,320
Bloody good job - I need sleep.
69
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,040
MUFFLED LOUD MUSIC
70
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,680
What the hell is that? Thank God!
What?
71
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,360
I can't sleep through this!
72
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:09,120
No, no, no... This is the chill-out
song. It lulls 'em to sleep.
73
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,560
These people are mental mad
74
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:15,320
and they have holes
where their brains should be
75
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:20,320
and they live on vibrations,
like Beethoven and the Beach Boys.
76
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,640
They never, ever sleep, Gaz.
Never, ever, never, ever...
77
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:31,080
I'll give you a lift to your mum's.
You can sleep there.
Never sleep, never sleep...
78
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,920
God!
79
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,520
Dana's broken you.
80
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:47,240
'Could Karl come down to building
materials, please? Could Karl come
down to building materials, please?'
81
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,160
Hiya.
82
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,600
Oh. It's Julie, isn't it?
I've got three kids, you know.
83
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,200
Jonny. I've just started here.
84
00:06:56,200 --> 00:07:01,040
Think I don't know that? I'm the
supervisor. I've got three kids.
85
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:05,840
I don't particularly need to know
how slack your nastiness is.
86
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:12,560
I've had men mess me around. I know
what's what, so don't try anything.
87
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,000
You seem to have lost control
of your finger.
88
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,840
I never lose control of anything,
darling.
89
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,840
So, explain what's up with the eye.
90
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:30,360
Could you help me with this? D'you
hate women? No, I'm marrying one.
91
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:36,040
I almost married the bastard. Three
kids, I've got. I went to college.
92
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,360
What did you do? You're on
first warning. What did I do?!
93
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,400
Tried to get off with me!
A senior member of staff!
94
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:50,120
I don't find you attractive, what
with that eye thing... Whatever.
95
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:55,320
You must find me attractive, because
I attract losers and you're a loser.
96
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,000
I've done nothing!
Are you speaking back to me?
97
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,080
Obviously I am - my mouth's moving.
98
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:07,800
Look, Johnny, I don't care what your
name is... You might - it's Jonny.
99
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:14,640
I've got power. Julie can
get people sacked, just like that.
100
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,120
I can resign.
Sure you don't need the money?
101
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:23,440
Wouldn't little wifey-mifey be a bit
upsetty without her penny-wennies?
102
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,240
Yeah, she'd be furious...
103
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,400
wurious.
104
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,720
So...you'd better do as I say.
105
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:39,920
Get a bucket. I don't do cleaning!
No, sweetheart, you're going
to sit in the window and wear it.
106
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,280
SHE MUMBLES SLEEPILY
107
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,520
Baby! Baby, Baby...!
108
00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,520
Oh, Jesus! Donna, what on earth
is the matter with you?
109
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,560
Oh, God!
110
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:07,440
I'm so tired. It's my neighbours.
Kept us awake nearly all night.
111
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:11,760
Didn't even have time
to have my dream about Yarmouth.
112
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,720
Everybody's got terrible neighbours.
113
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:19,560
They're all either noisy, nosy,
or simply...
114
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:24,000
UGLY OLD WITCHES
WHO WON'T JUST LIE DOWN AND DIE!
115
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:32,600
Leave Mrs Birkett alone. She's 83.
I can't stand her. Always falling
over and talking about ovaries. MUM!
116
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:39,560
She won't be able to hear me. She
won't have her hearing aid in. Sure?
117
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:44,920
Yeah. Hey, when she does, I love
to creep up behind her and whistle.
118
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,160
Really scares her, does that.
119
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:53,640
I've got to get to the factory.
Hope I don't pass out in a bucket.
120
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:58,680
We've all done it. Buckets, gutters,
best man's laps - it's all the same.
121
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:05,520
I'll see you later.
Hang on! What are you going to do
about your neighbours? I don't know!
122
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:11,160
It's impossible. They probably have
thousands of scabby family members,
123
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:15,240
coming at you, going,
"Mokky chokky bokk, mate."
124
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,480
Are you living above chickens?
125
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,320
I don't know what to do.
126
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:28,280
Think about it, Donna - what do you
usually get me for Christmas?
127
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,920
Alcohol. It's what you ask for.
And what happens on Christmas Day?
128
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:38,320
You pass out in the baking tray
and don't wake up till the 27th.
129
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:40,960
Ah!
130
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,680
Ah!
131
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,640
Oh...
132
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,480
You're not getting old, Louise.
133
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:55,320
But I got all these pamphlets!
That's just junk mail.
134
00:10:55,320 --> 00:11:02,560
And the one for incontinence pants?
They've been watching me. I can't
help sneezing through my bladder.
135
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:10,640
You don't look old.
Oh, you're such a dear!
136
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:14,800
Stop talking like my nan.
Don't disrespect your elders!
137
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,280
'Ell's bells, buckets of blood,
me dogs are barking...
138
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:24,200
Why not do some volunteer work
with the elderly?
139
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,840
It worked with me
and my fear of naked women.
140
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:37,080
I'm not doing volunteer work.
It'll help you feel better,
and you'll be doing something good.
141
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,960
What have old people done for me?!
142
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,280
Walk slowly
and smell of lavender wee!
143
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:51,120
I won't hang around with biddies.
If I want to get over this fear,
I'll just have to Botox myself.
144
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,040
How does this look to you?
145
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,240
Hiya. How was it? How was what?
146
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:12,200
The first day at work! Did they make
a fuss of you? You could say that.
147
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:16,720
What, did they play tricks
and get you up to mischief?
148
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:23,960
Yeah, mischief. Mmm. My supervisor,
Julie, is a mischievous little imp.
She naughtily spat in my dinner.
149
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:28,480
She mischievously told
the customers that I was retarded.
150
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:35,600
Oh, and the cheeky minx dropped
a roll of wallpaper on my spine.
Ha, bastard, bloody, ha.
151
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:40,560
That's what happens. You get teased
and played tricks on. She's a bully.
152
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:45,080
You're getting bullied by a girl
She's me supervisor!
153
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:50,480
I see. It's terrible. Exactly. Next
time she does it, tell the teacher.
154
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,680
Janet, she's making my life hell!
155
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:58,040
Men don't get bullied. Children
get bullied and women get harassed.
156
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:03,040
But she stuck a note on me back,
saying I was in the National Front!
157
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,560
That fishmonger threw a cockle
at me!
158
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:10,080
You're making it up
so you don't have to work!
159
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:15,320
She hates men! I don't care if she
hates rainbows. We need the money.
160
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,040
She's horrible. I can't go back.
161
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:23,000
So, where will you work? Don't say
"in music". Nobody likes opera rap.
162
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,920
Right, listen...
163
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,840
Drinking all me bee-er
164
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,320
That song's the reason
we can never go to funerals.
165
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:46,760
Get another job or go back there.
I'm not supporting us. But... What?
166
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,000
But...
167
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,760
To be honest, that's all I had.
168
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,800
But.
169
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:04,920
I feel you'll benefit from
confronting your problems if you
learn to accept and grow. OK...
170
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,880
Open your eyes.
171
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,000
Argh! They're old! Yes.
172
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,840
They've got...big crinkly faces
like cheese.
173
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,080
Don't let them lick me! Argh!
174
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,000
You all right, Gaz?
175
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,680
No, Jonny, I've not slept.
176
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:34,200
Not unless you count the hour I lost
staring at that carburettor.
177
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:39,000
Are you that tired? Yeah. It's the
neighbours. What were they doing?
178
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,440
They're just so noisy!
179
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:47,280
Before Donna moved in, I could just
stick bread in me ears. What kind?
180
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,200
Mighty White.
181
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,000
Granary's too big.
Acoustics are terrible.
182
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:59,760
And it's not as tasty the next day.
You should see Donna - she's worse!
183
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:04,800
If only it was her type of music -
the Carpenters or Don McLean or...
184
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,320
Nazi Death Metal. Do you think
they'd like opera funk?
185
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:16,280
No! Nobody likes it, Jonny!
You've got a job now. You don't need
to sell your freaky Ave Maria.
186
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:20,640
It's funky Ave Maria!
And I might need to sell it.
187
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:25,880
Why? I thought you could manage with
wallpaper. Brown, sir? Peach, madam?
188
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:32,400
Brown and peach aren't
the only colours. There's patterned
and textured and easy-up and...
189
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:38,880
Leave your job! I can't talk
interior design. It makes me feel
wrong inside, wrong and afraid.
190
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,840
Gaz, has anyone ever...
191
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,920
bullied you...at work?
192
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,760
I work for me dad...
so, yeah, obviously.
193
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,480
What did you do?
Well, Jonny, I resigned.
194
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,440
Yeah? That's why I'm still there.
195
00:15:55,440 --> 00:16:00,360
Honestly, though. Are you being
hassled or something? Well, yeah.
196
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,400
A bit. There's this woman...
197
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:04,880
Brilliant!
198
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,000
No, it's not. She's superior.
199
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:15,560
Ooh! No, not in a dominant way!
She's me supervisor and she's...
well, she's bullying me.
200
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:21,720
Oh! Poor little Jonny!
Did the girly stamp on your foot
and steal your ice-cream?
201
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,600
That's what Janet said.
202
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:30,320
Bullied by a girl! Only happens to
the Paul McCartneys of this world.
203
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,760
Aw!
204
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,960
Aargh!
205
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:50,240
You need to overcome this irrational
phobia by facing your fears head-on.
206
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:55,240
Look, David, I'm scared of getting
old and I'm scared of old people.
207
00:16:55,240 --> 00:17:02,280
I see a pattern emerging. All I
need to do is pin my face back and
never see another old person. Easy!
208
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,040
I'll stop watching Channel 4
in the afternoons.
209
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,880
You can't get over it by avoidance.
210
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,480
What you should do is the opposite.
211
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,720
Oh, I see!
212
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,440
Become more childlike, you mean.
213
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:22,720
David, you're a genius!
I'm telling you to grow.
214
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:27,800
Yes, grow...into a child.
That's what you're saying.
215
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,520
You're not becoming a child.
216
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,840
Oh, OK...
217
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:38,040
by becoming a baby, I can never
grow old. This is brilliant!
218
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,400
I want a dolly!
219
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:51,440
Hiya. So, you got it, then? Yep,
from the bakery. Said I was making
brandy snaps without the snap.
220
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:56,360
No, without the brandy, cos that's
the snap... D'you want it or not?
221
00:17:56,360 --> 00:18:02,000
I hope this works. These people are
scary. You can't reason with them.
222
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,640
Jonny says that about his boss.
223
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,160
Says he's getting bullied.
How exactly?
224
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:12,400
Dunno. Probably the same
as me and you. Oh.
225
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:19,240
What, like when they rub up against
you in the stockroom and say, "Room
for a little one, sweetheart?"
226
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,360
I meant overtime. Donna,
you're on minimum wage. Leave!
227
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:27,840
I know I should, but Mrs Dawson
always apologises later.
228
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:33,640
Everyone suffers in work. Except
the people who sleep for a living.
229
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,600
I don't know anyone who does that.
230
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:40,280
There's...
Oh, no, that was Jonny's old job.
231
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:45,200
Exactly, when he was on the dole.
I'd come home and he'd be in bed.
232
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:50,640
Didn't it make you angry? I'd slip
a Fruit & Nut between his buttocks.
233
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,480
He thought he had Crohn's disease!
234
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,440
Aargh!
235
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:07,760
Sorry, did I frighten you? No. No...
Yeah. Yeah, you scared me.
236
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,640
Jonny...look,
things have got off to a bad start.
237
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,920
Women's troubles.
238
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,440
Oh. I had noticed
you were a little bit...
239
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,600
tetchy.
240
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,800
Grrr!
241
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,520
Miaow.
242
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,880
You noticed? Oh, deary me!
243
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:34,320
We'll forget all about it. I pride
myself on knowing everything
there is to know about...
244
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,560
ladies', um...
245
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,440
parts. Oh, you do? Yeah.
246
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,760
Gimme a marker and I can draw
a map of your fallopians.
247
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,560
You think you know all about women?
Oh, yeah, I do.
248
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:52,800
I paid attention in that class.
I heard we might see some pubes.
249
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,520
That class...
250
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,840
Men are favoured above women
in education. Thatcher child! What?
251
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:07,320
You think you're better than me, cos
you've got an education? Nice Julie
was just premenstrual. You're evil!
252
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:11,720
Typical! You think you know
how women feel pain? We bleed!
253
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,120
And you still get paid more than me.
254
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:20,920
Julie, you've got issues. Go to a
women's group, with the lesbians -
you could work through it.
255
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,960
Are you telling me what to do?
256
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,880
I could crush you, little boy.
257
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:31,760
If you don't leave me alone, I'll
talk to the boss. I AM the boss.
258
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,280
No, the big boss
that sits in the office.
259
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:42,400
Can't you stand up for yourself? Are
you scared of women? Women who've
had children? Who've suffered?
260
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:48,120
You fell out the hormone tree and
hit every tampon on the way down.
261
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,600
Go on, then. Stand up for yourself.
262
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,520
JONNY!
263
00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:01,360
Please don't say my name like that.
It'd upset me mum. Mummy's boy!
264
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,720
Come on!
Show me what you've got in there!
265
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,480
If you insist. Come on!
266
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,680
MUFFLED LOUD MUSIC
267
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,520
GOD!
268
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,960
Right! Brilliant. What's brilliant?
269
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,000
Me? Just wait.
270
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:45,120
Sorry to disturb you...
271
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,760
SCOUSE VOICES
272
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,520
I brought you something. Brandy!
273
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,160
MUFFLED VOICES
274
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,040
That's OK. Sorry to disturb you.
275
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,640
You're sound, mate.
I'm so sorry an' that.
276
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:12,080
Well, I think it's safe to say, we
won't be hearing from them again.
277
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,840
What did you do, pasteurise 'em?
278
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:21,800
I was a calm and rational adult and
explained that we need our sleep
and they were being a mite unfair.
279
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:27,160
They were OK with that? Yeah. And
I bought them a bottle of brandy.
280
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,200
Oh, my God! What?
281
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:36,680
You gave them alcohol!
I bought them a present. What's
wrong with that? They're quiet.
282
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,880
Here we go!
283
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,920
MUFFLED LOUD MUSIC
284
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,200
You understand how serious this is?
285
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,880
Yeah, but...she's a monster!
286
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:58,320
Look, I... No, she's not a monster.
Sorry, that's unfair. She's a...
287
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,280
..twat!
288
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:08,920
Look, Julie's caused us problems
before with male staff members, but
that's no excuse to hit her, is it?
289
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,280
No, it's not. Luckily for you...
290
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,600
you punch like a woman.
291
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,360
Thank you.
292
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,760
So I can give you one last chance...
293
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,240
Thank God!
My fiancee would be like...
294
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:29,000
..as long as you have
sexual intercourse with me. What?
295
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:33,040
As long as you have
sexual intercourse with me.
296
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:46,160
Hiya. How was work? Did
the naughty lady smack your bum-bum?
297
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:53,240
Please, I can get another job. You
don't understand how bad this one's
got. I really am being harassed
298
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:58,080
and I tried to be a man
and smacked Miss Bird one... What?!
299
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:03,320
..but strangely that just made
everything worse. Jonny, look...
300
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:08,840
just stick it out for a few months.
You can handle a bit of ribbing.
301
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,960
Yeah, you're right.
302
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:18,480
I know I'm right.
Sometimes people don't like you.
You have to deal with it, OK?
303
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,920
OK. I suppose I can manage.
There you go.
304
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:28,440
I've got to have sex with my boss
tomorrow, OK? Let's have a look
in Jobs North West.
305
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,080
LOUD THUMPING MUSIC
306
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,040
MUSIC STOPS
307
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,480
MUSIC STARTS AGAIN
308
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:51,760
I'm calling the police. They didn't
even come when that woman was stuck
in me drain. When will they stop?
309
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:56,360
Never! They've taken a cocktail
of drugs and your cheap brandy!
310
00:24:56,360 --> 00:25:00,200
Maybe we can scare them
into stopping. How?
311
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,680
KNOCKING
312
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:18,200
Louise, this is a bad time.
No time is bad when it's playtime!
I can play and frolic.
313
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:22,480
Louise, what d'you want?
What every little girl wants.
314
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,520
I knew this day would come! Come on.
315
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,880
Who's first across me knee? Come on.
Come on.
316
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:33,400
Gaz! I want an ice cream.
She's mental.
317
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,840
I'm being childlike
to make me youthful!
318
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:41,320
Whoa! See, she's malfunctioning!
I've seen Robocop.
319
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,960
Hold on a minute. Just watch her.
320
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,320
Her dungarees frighten me.
321
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:53,800
Imagine, after a drink and drugs
spree, finding that at your door.
322
00:25:56,440 --> 00:26:00,120
Sounds like a perfect day to me.
323
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:06,640
We could really freak 'em out!
We could send them mad,
so mad that they'd have to shut up.
324
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:11,320
Louise, I know somebody
just like you who wants to play.
325
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:16,800
Hurrah! Do they have magic beans?
I think it's safe to say they do!
326
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,760
OK.
327
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:23,240
All you have to do is go downstairs
and knock on their door.
328
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,080
OK.
329
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,200
LOUD MUSIC AND SQUEALING
330
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,320
Baby, baby, baby!
331
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,080
CRASHING
332
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,880
Baby, baby!
333
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,880
They tried to set fire to me.
334
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:07,040
Tonight's the night he'll enter
the secret passage del passion.
335
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,920
You ruin me dreams! They're stupid!
336
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:14,360
Donna, we really need to talk.
I feel really sad.
337
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:17,000
You just want more wank time.
338
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,800
What d'you want, wanker?
That was industrial sabotage!
339
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:27,960
Why won't you have sex with me?
The friction burns on my cock!
29625
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