Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,760
This programme contains adult humour.
2
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:05,160
Donna slept with my boyfriend!
3
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:09,480
You only came with me to avoid
Munch! He's everywhere - like God!
4
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,360
You're just flattering me now!
5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:17,000
The registrar phoned... Is it
for June? I adore June weddings!
6
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,440
I'm really sorry, Jonny -
it's tomorrow.
7
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,240
Hey, Mr Bartender, give me a drink
8
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,720
with bubbles in it
9
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:37,640
handle anything stronger now
10
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,400
I don't wanna get married tomorrow!
You've no choice,
11
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:59,880
unless you want your penis removed.
I'll speak to your parents.
12
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:04,520
Naked, with parsley growing out
your arse - it'd be that helpful
13
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:08,200
I don't want you
to regret anything. I won't!
14
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,320
My mum and dad hate us - great!
I might even encourage it!
15
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:17,120
I'll tell them about our collection
of sex toys. What sex toys?
16
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,000
That egg-box thing
with the teeth on it.
17
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,800
That's not a sex toy -
it's a crocodile.
18
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,000
I saw it on Art Attack! Why do you
keep trying to insert it?
19
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:35,560
Look, Janet, what I'm saying is
they've got to come round,
if only to help remove that dress!
20
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,760
What's wrong with me dress?
21
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:42,760
Janet, it's a bit on the big side
and it smells of fat, lass!
22
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,560
Oh, is that what that is?
23
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,240
Just let me have a word with them.
24
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,640
They're probably feeling awful.
25
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:55,400
You think? Yeah. They'll be scared
they're missing out. Maybe.
26
00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:00,880
I'll go first thing in the morning.
You have to speak to them now.
27
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:06,680
But...Food And Drink's on! I really
like that Worrall Thompson bloke!
28
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:14,040
He's just like a big egg. Please,
Jonny! My mum's out - you'll have
more chance tackling my dad alone.
29
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:19,680
But your dad's dead scary! Where's
your mum? Anal housewives group.
30
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,280
Why can't you be more like her?
31
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:27,000
No, Jonny, it's for people
who are much too anal!
32
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,720
Why can't you be more like her?
33
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,160
I can't rid of this headache!
34
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:43,560
Might be a tumour or too much meat.
I'll get you an aspirin inside.
35
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,920
I'm stressed, Donna!
That so-called brother of mine!
36
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:52,160
He hangs on to me like termites...
Mr Wilkinson? >
37
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,880
He's here! How will we get in?
38
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,480
We'll move - to Cornwall!
39
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:13,760
I'm going up. I won't let him in.
Donna! It's like Jurassic Park -
he'll find a way!
40
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:18,480
You're being stupid!
Go on! No! Go on! No!
41
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,520
KNOCKING
Mr Wilkinson?
42
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:33,720
Hello, Munch. What are you doing
here? I came to say I'm sorry.
Where's Gaz? He's just...
43
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:39,560
he's just nipped off to Cornwall.
Oh? I'll see him in a bit, then.
44
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:44,600
Tell him I won't bother him any
more. I thought about what he said.
45
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:51,960
I remember me mum saying I've not
to hang around people too much. OK.
I'll tell him.
46
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,720
Good night.
47
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,920
Miaow!
48
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,520
Miaow!
49
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,880
Grrr! Woof!
50
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,560
Grrr! Ruff!
51
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,680
Come on, Jonny!
52
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,080
Come on, son, you can do this!
53
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,600
Come on, Jonny!
54
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,120
Right...
55
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,120
Mr Smith...
56
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,640
chew my bum fat.
57
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,320
For God's sake! What do you want?
It's late! I know, but...
58
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,040
I came to say Janet's really upset
about this...
59
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,480
Listen, you little turd watcher...
60
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:31,680
if you think
I'll let someone like you...
61
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:36,680
But I love her, Mr Smith.
I'm begging you. I'm on my knees.
62
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:42,520
What's going on, Pete?
It's freezing in those stirrups!
63
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,080
Oh, Christ!
64
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:52,560
Listen, er, Jonny...
this isn't what it looks like...
65
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,320
Obviously! Listen to me, Jonny...
66
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,520
Now, what was I saying?
67
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,760
Oh, yes.
68
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:04,600
Peter...Pete...
Petey with Petey Pops!
69
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,480
What?
70
00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:11,040
Would you give me the honour of
your daughter's hand in marriage?
71
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,320
KNOCKING
Hang on.
72
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:18,040
Happy wedding day! I'm not getting
married! Where's the body?
73
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:22,240
Have you thought of counselling?
Think I'd be good at it?
74
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:29,720
I'm going to have a proper wedding
with flowers and singing and hats.
I baked a cake! It has to be today!
75
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:37,040
These are just mini marshmallows
and green pie!
76
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,320
It's an alternative wedding cake.
77
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:46,960
The wedding was a bit of a Bryan
McFadden, so I thought the catering
should be too! Jonny sorted it!
78
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:54,240
You and Donna can be bridesmaids
again! I'll only stand next to her
in a church is if she's in a box!
79
00:07:54,240 --> 00:08:00,280
And even then I'd smudge her death
make-up! Please try and get along!
80
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:04,880
I won't unless she goes back in time
and unsleeps with David!
81
00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,120
You can't unsleep with people.
82
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:14,200
Yes, you can!
I've done it hundreds of times.
You just do pelvic-floor exercises
83
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:18,560
until all is forgotten
and your soul is cleansed.
84
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:25,160
Let me in on this! My pretty hero!
I was just bringing
your breakfast up! What is it?
85
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:31,240
Green pie - nice! Talk to Donna.
I'm planning a wedding!
Wanna plan upstairs?
86
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,520
In bed? With some green pie? Yeah!
Go on, then! Stop it!
87
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,440
Get off!
88
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,080
Don't expect me to help you plan!
89
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,680
Oh, you're here!
90
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:50,560
Yes. What do you want? Come to beg
for your bridesmaid's position?
Sort of. I came to see Janet.
91
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,520
What's that?
92
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:58,960
Their sex song. Well, if Janet's
doing dirt, you can't see her!
93
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:03,760
Boyfriend stealer! How was I to know
you two would get together?
94
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:10,400
Psychic boyfriend stealer! We're
bridesmaids - so we better get
along today. The wedding's off.
95
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:17,880
What did you do? I slept with
Jonny, but it was ages ago, so it
all must be fan-bloody-marvellous!
96
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,800
Anyway, you came to apologise?
To Janet, yes.
97
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:29,960
Came to tell her I would be
her bridesmaid. You can't!
Why not? I want to be bridesmaid!
98
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,280
I'm very spoilt! Watch! Nnngh!
99
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,720
We'll both have to be bridesmaids
eventually.
100
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,240
Oh, no way! Not with you! Never!
101
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:47,000
"Boombastic" CONTINUES
102
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,720
Janet, has he finished yet?
103
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,160
After Oh Carolina!
104
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:04,440
Hello, garage. Gaz?
I brought some jam for dinner time.
105
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,800
Ooh! Sweets!
106
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,880
Eugh!
107
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,240
Oh, no!
108
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,200
Oh, God!
109
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,760
Yeah. Ambulance.
110
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,440
I've made me brother suicidal.
111
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:39,960
Like one of them dead people
with his eyes all in his head!
112
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,240
Don't think he's breathing. A pulse?
Hang on...
113
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,280
He's definitely got no pulse.
114
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,960
Just come quickly! I'm only little!
115
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,880
Hiya!
116
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:16,120
Jesus! Don't do that! You know
I hate people sneaking up behind me
ever since that incident at the zoo!
117
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:21,120
You shouldn't have worn a red
bum bag. You confused the baboons!
118
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:26,240
Do you know what this is?
I found it in the garden?
119
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,120
It's a He-Man. It's an old toy.
120
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:33,120
Thank God! I thought
the little people were coming back.
121
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,800
Really? Now, what d'you want, love?
122
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:41,640
Nothing. Thought we could have
a chat. It's not true! None of it!
123
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:48,440
What are you talking about?
Depends. What are you talking
about? No, you first. What is it?
124
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,840
Janet's boyfriend.
125
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,200
You didn't?
126
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,480
That's just disgusting...!
127
00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,840
No, no...!
Why? Do you think he likes me?
128
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,440
No,
but what about Janet's boyfriend?
129
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,520
He saw me.
130
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,080
He saw you? Yeah. He saw me.
131
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:13,080
Oh, God! You've been standing naked
at the window again?
132
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:19,400
No!
And I do that so the cars slow down!
I'm thinking of the local children!
133
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:26,680
Mum...? These speed bumps are
better than any sleeping policeman!
134
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:35,920
What did Jonny see you doing?
He didn't mention anything? No.
What is it? Thank God! Crisis over.
135
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,280
So what were you worried about?
136
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:47,760
Well...I kind of talked myself out
of being a bridesmaid last night...
137
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,720
Why? Well, I fell out
with the other bridesmaid.
138
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:56,520
Is she a moose? No, she's gorgeous.
What did you do?
139
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,840
Well, I...slept with her boyfriend.
140
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,840
Is that all?
I hate these petty little women!
141
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,320
What would you do?
142
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,200
Whenever I sleep
with somebody's boyfriend,
143
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,920
I create a tragedy in my life
so they'll feel bad and forgive me.
144
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:21,240
Like what? Well, like...
your granny's been run over 15 times
at the last count...
145
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:25,040
you had eight valve transplants...
What kind of valves?
146
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:29,880
I don't know, really.
I just like saying valves!
147
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:35,040
So if I say something terrible's
happened, Louise'll forgive me.
148
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,440
Exactly! Can I say you're dead?
149
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:46,800
I think you're best off saying I'm
dying, then I get some flowers too.
150
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,720
OK. But...make it something
glamorous like...
151
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,880
..heroin addiction...
152
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,240
..or valvitis.
153
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:09,720
I don't want you to forgive me.
I did nothing wrong.
154
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,360
You slept with Donna!
You want me to forgive you!
155
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,360
That was ages ago!
156
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,800
You doodled my friend!
157
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,240
Doodled? Is that a Northern thing?
158
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:26,440
Obviously sleeping with the lower
classes has damaged your memory.
159
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,000
No, that's the bush I smoke...
160
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,600
in more ways than one.
161
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:38,120
Look, all I want you to do
is never to speak to Donna again
162
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,960
and never to look
at her exceptional bottom.
163
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:46,000
This is stupid! It was one night,
before I was with you,
164
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,840
between two people who felt
a mutual sexual attraction.
165
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:53,560
You fancy her?! In a sex way?
166
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,800
No, of course not!
167
00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:01,520
Well...I did fancy her then,
obviously, she was pretty phew...
168
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,640
You love her? Oooh!
169
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,880
What did you say to him
to make him change his mind?
170
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:19,280
I can't! Then,
you'd be as charming as me! So?
171
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:23,280
You know what happens
when two charming people breed?
172
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,560
Ah! Liza Minnelli! See?
173
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,000
It's weird.
174
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:33,200
What can I say? He was a pulley
in me hands. Putty in your hands!
175
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:40,120
No, he was more like a pulley.
I pulled his heartstrings
and his love curtain came up.
176
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:45,360
No! This is too strange!
Janet, stop being such a pessimist!
177
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:53,200
I whispered him a few truths and he
did what I wanted - like The Horse
Whisperer. I'm the dad whisperer!
178
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,160
You've got something on him! What?
179
00:15:56,160 --> 00:16:01,280
You're blackmailing him!
Is he dodging his taxes? Yes!
180
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:06,720
I checked his books, added up
his gross against net profit...
181
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,440
He's dodging his taxes!
182
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:17,960
You got something on him! Tell me!
Can't. So you have got something? I
can't tell you, OK? You'd get hurt.
183
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,320
He's having an affair!
184
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,800
Stop...!
185
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:28,880
Don't be silly! If I'm being silly,
why did you go...?
186
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:33,920
He's not having an affair! My dad's
cheating! No, he's not! Listen...
187
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:39,600
I'll tell you... Go on. I went
round his house and knocked...
188
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,680
He answered... What happened?
Who was she?
189
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:50,520
I asked him about us... He wasn't
alone! The bastard! I'll kill him!
No, he was alone...
190
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,880
Who was he with?! No-one... He
was... What? ..Dressed as a woman!
191
00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,560
I'm sorry...
192
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:14,760
"To who it may concern,
we are in hospikal.
193
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,880
"Mr Wilkinson may be dead
as you read this.
194
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,840
"Loads of love and a million kisses,
Munch."
195
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,840
Shit!
196
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:31,920
He's embarrassed enough! He needs
to know it's nothing to be ashamed
of! Was it one of Mum's dresses?
197
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:38,160
No... It's OK. He might want it
kept private! You know!
He's paying for the wedding!
198
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:46,000
You're blackmailing someone
for something natural? If it was
natural, I'd be wearing a twinset!
199
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,880
It's just a secret
no-one need ever mention again...
200
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:54,320
like when you pooed in the baths
and blamed a pensioner. No...
201
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:59,360
I can't have him living like this!
He has to know it's OK!
202
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,600
Will I talk to him?
203
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:06,960
No way! Just need him to know he's
not a pervert! Well, he is a bit!
204
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,560
Girl's pants and that!
205
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:15,520
Jonny! I'll do it. No girl needs to
see her dad's unwaxed bikini line.
206
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:20,440
I'm going to tell him it's OK
and he needn't hide from society!
207
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:24,440
I might even call him Mum!
PHONE RINGS
Leave it!
208
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,880
Any change? Yeah.
209
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:44,040
I'd a gobful of his drip.
It tastes like sea water.
210
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,680
It's serious. Did you phone
your dad? Why? We're a great team.
211
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:56,080
The Munch Crew! I don't wanna be
in the Munch Crew! I need a friend.
My mum's out, Janet's out...
212
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,040
Oh, man, me head...!
213
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,440
Where am I? You awake, Gaz?
214
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,000
I'm in hospital! Hey...
215
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,640
you all right?
216
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:16,400
Why did you do it?
Was there an accident?
217
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,520
I saved your life! Go, Munch!
218
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,400
Just let me do the talking, OK?
219
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:33,040
Why? He's my dad. I should help him
through his fetish.
220
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,040
I wonder how many times
that's been said in Runcorn!
221
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,680
Just remember he's in pain.
I know - stirrups can chafe.
222
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,840
What?
223
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:48,120
Oh, God!
Look, I thought we made a deal!
224
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,520
Hello, Pete.
Nice to see you in men's clothes.
225
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,760
What are you talking about?
226
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:02,040
I'll kill you, Jonny!
Me and you had an agreement!
227
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:07,400
Listen to Janet! Stop snarling!
Jesus, it's like Brookside!
228
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,240
I just wanna say my piece.
229
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:16,800
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to hurt you. You haven't.
Haven't I? But your mother...
230
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:23,720
Just listen! Janet understands.
I do, Dad. It's perfectly normal.
Is it?
231
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,920
For God's sake, just listen,
Mr Corkhill...I mean, Smith.
232
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:35,000
Stop the Brookie references, or
I'll kill you! And bury me under the
patio while we have a lesbian kiss!
233
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,240
Stop it, Jonny!
234
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,200
Look, Dad...
235
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:46,920
I know men of your age need
something to liven things up...
236
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:52,920
Have you told your mother? No, Dad,
and I won't. It's not my job.
237
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,320
What do you mean?
You should tell her.
238
00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:01,600
Well, I don't think
she'd understand the...situation.
239
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,520
A lot of men do it!
You're not wrong there, love.
240
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,840
By telling Mum,
she could get involved.
241
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:15,040
I don't think... You haven't asked.
242
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,360
Yeah, well...maybe...
some time in the future.
243
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,840
I'm here to say I understand.
Do you?
244
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:29,680
Don't hide it like a dirty
little secret. But it is a dirty
little secret. No, it's not!
245
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,720
Be proud of what you are!
246
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:40,720
You're really understanding.
That's why I'm your favourite!
Course you are!
247
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:45,400
If I was doing it,
I'd ask Janet along for the ride.
248
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:54,000
What? If you wanna come underwear
shopping with me, I'd love it!
What's going on? We're going.
249
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,960
What are you on about?
Cross-dressing. I'll help you.
250
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:04,400
Your secret's safe with us!
I'm not a cross-dresser!
Wouldn't go near a sussie belt!
251
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,680
Oh, right?
Well, I must have been mistaken.
252
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:13,400
There must be some other secret
Janet doesn't know about.
253
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,240
I wonder what that could be.
254
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,920
No...there's not...
255
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,760
..definitely isn't...
256
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,000
Janet...
257
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,720
I'm a...
258
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,120
I'm a builder by day...
259
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,880
..and... And, by night...
260
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,880
..By night, I'm...
261
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,160
a woman.
262
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,760
And what do you call yourself?
263
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,840
I call myself Claire.
264
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:04,120
Do you tuck your undercarriage
between your legs
like in Silence Of The Lambs
265
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:06,640
and dance to Kylie? Don't push it!
266
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:13,560
You don't have to pay for
the wedding. Unless you want to.
You little... Don't blame him!
267
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:18,240
I made him tell me! You look
beautiful in chiffon, jelly tot!
268
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:22,560
Don't worry - we won't tell -
promise! I'm paying!
269
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,800
What? Janet, look...
270
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:32,000
I wanna pay for your wedding!
I wanna give you away. I wanna pay
for everything. OK, Jonny?
271
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,080
Yes, darling.
272
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,800
Thank you, Dad!
273
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:41,360
Don't wear a white dress
and upstage me!
274
00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:44,760
Just never tell your mother,
all right?
275
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:49,280
Or anyone in the Travellers' Rest
or the darts team...
276
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,960
or the builders' yard.
277
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:57,360
Or in the Close!
We won't tell the Jordaches, la'!
278
00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:01,600
OK, Dad...this can be your surprise
for everyone.
279
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,440
I love you, you big pervert!
280
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:18,520
They pumped your stomach!
I'm a hero. SuperMunch!
281
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,440
Why would they pump me stomach?
You overdosed.
282
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,920
I didn't overdose! I got pissed!
I found the pills!
283
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,760
So they weren't inside me!
284
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,880
I didn't think of that.
So you didn't overdose?
285
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,640
No! Why would I do that?
Cos I make you so sad!
286
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,800
Jesus Christ ego! I'm going home.
Move!
287
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,360
Why the hell am I naked?
288
00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:51,560
Nurses wanted to see your winky.
289
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,320
Stop telling women
I'm out of proportion!
290
00:24:55,320 --> 00:25:00,400
So you're totally fine?
I just got drunk at the garage.
291
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,800
Couldn't you pretend to be ill
just for a bit? Why?
292
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,360
Donna, it's so sad...
293
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,840
Will he die?
294
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,320
Well, it's touch and go!
295
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,200
I've been so horrible to you.
296
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,560
I know...
297
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,960
You're such a cow!
298
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,640
You slept with David
and now you've been punished.
299
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,280
I know, I know...
300
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:36,640
Oh, my God! I'm there for you.
I'm so sorry.
301
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,000
Is there anything I can do?
302
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,800
Well, the stress
of this whole David situation...
303
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,400
Of course.
I think it's affecting Gaz.
304
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:52,440
They say he's developed a catarrh
of rebolis...
305
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:57,840
We'll just forget about it.
I'll never mention it again.
306
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:02,360
Really? I was just being childish
and selfish.
307
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,120
Let's all go home, then.
308
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,560
Thank God for that!
309
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,240
I'm dying for a pint!
310
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,840
I'm a miracle worker!
311
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,840
You'll both be bridesmaids?
Louise, thanks so much!
312
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:29,840
Gaz is OK, yeah? Great! All right,
then. I'll see you later.
313
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,160
"Boombastic" BLARES
314
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,800
My lord, a more beautiful creature
I never did see!
315
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:15,560
Why, I must have her!
May I have this dance? Ah!
316
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:28,760
Janet... Yeah? I have to take this
off! But you're so pretty.
317
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,720
But I'm getting really turned on
and it scares me!
318
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,560
I don't usually have to do
me Saturdays on me own.
319
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,680
You're here with your nipples.
320
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:47,400
That dress is just womanliness
gone mad!
321
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:52,320
Moi...grrrr! Or dresses!
322
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,640
I feel like a complete twat!
323
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,640
Take it off!
27437
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof