Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:14,630
I'm going down south. I'm going to have
myself time.
2
00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:16,470
Friendly faces everywhere.
3
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,230
Humble folks without temptation.
4
00:00:18,610 --> 00:00:21,230
Going down south. I'm going to leave my
world behind.
5
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,930
And we're parking day or night. People
spouting hot endeavors.
6
00:00:25,350 --> 00:00:28,030
And on up south. I'm going to see if I
can't unwind.
7
00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:34,550
Come on down south out there and meet
some friends of mine.
8
00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,690
Betsy! Betsy! Guess what?
9
00:00:44,950 --> 00:00:47,770
My dad took me to the Asian pop -up
store. Look what I got!
10
00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:49,790
Serenity Labubu!
11
00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:51,510
Oh, it's so cute!
12
00:00:52,170 --> 00:00:54,210
Isn't it? I was at the Asian pop -up,
too!
13
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:55,550
No!
14
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,880
Oh, dude, dude, check it out. It's about
to happen again.
15
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,300
Ah, shit.
16
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:11,600
I actually have Loyalty Labubu already,
and I got a little costume for it. That
17
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,080
is seriously so cute.
18
00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:16,780
Kitty, you guys, girls with labubus,
it's about to happen again.
19
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:17,899
Oh, hello.
20
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:22,680
Come on. And then, believe it or not, I
actually have Chestnut Coco Labubu.
21
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:26,780
No way. That is the rarest one. Isn't it
so cute?
22
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,380
So stinking cute.
23
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,880
But it's really rare. Are you sure it's
not a knockoff? Oh, dog, here we go.
24
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,160
Yeah, it's just...
25
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,640
It's probably yours, you fat bitch.
26
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,460
Suck it, skank. Oh, shit.
27
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:38,780
Stupid slut.
28
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:40,380
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,700
Yeah,
30
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000
yeah, yeah.
31
00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:46,420
Yeah,
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00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:50,260
yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, break it up,
break it up.
33
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,120
She's rubbing everyone's noses in her
labubu.
34
00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:55,720
Both of you to the counselor's office,
now.
35
00:01:57,180 --> 00:02:01,520
She totally started it. Oh, my God, shut
up. I did not. She came up to me on my
36
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,440
locker with her labubu and started
talking shit.
37
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,420
Every day, whore.
38
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:13,160
Yay, love your enemies and pray for
those who persecute you.
39
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,620
Tell her to stop saying my labubus are
knockoff.
40
00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:19,100
I'm sorry, what is a labubu?
41
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,800
It's a little monster accessory.
42
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,760
They come in blind boxes so you never
know which one you're going to get.
43
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,840
Like you could just look out and get a
time to chill pajama gold labubu. Oh my
44
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:28,860
god, that one is so cute.
45
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,500
It's so cute, right?
46
00:02:31,170 --> 00:02:35,290
All right, ladies. Why don't you just
give me the dolls until the end of the
47
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:36,089
school day?
48
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,090
That's not fair!
49
00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:40,330
Go on out to recess and you can pick up
your labubus after school.
50
00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:43,050
Wow, what kind of counseling was that?
51
00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:47,230
I don't know. Jesus sucks, dude. Our old
counselor was so much better.
52
00:02:59,550 --> 00:03:00,890
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some more over
there.
53
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:02,330
This side's starting to fall.
54
00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:04,030
We are the kings of the castle.
55
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:05,310
Let us in.
56
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,810
Hey, Butters.
57
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,730
Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
58
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:13,970
Um, I was just wondering what you're
doing this weekend.
59
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:18,990
Oh, me?
60
00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:23,610
Yeah. Um, I'm having a birthday party at
my house, and I was seeing if maybe
61
00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:25,730
you'd want to come hang out?
62
00:03:28,779 --> 00:03:29,900
You're talking about me.
63
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:33,820
Yeah, I don't know. It's probably
stupid. I shouldn't have asked. Never
64
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:36,840
No, no, no. I'd love to come hang out
with you on your birthday, Red.
65
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,099
Really? You would?
66
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:39,100
Well, sure.
67
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,240
Okay, that's great.
68
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,500
I'll text you all the details.
69
00:03:42,060 --> 00:03:43,520
Okay, Red. I'll see you then.
70
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:48,020
Okay. And maybe I'll text you my
birthday wish list, too, in case, you
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00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,020
want to get me a present.
72
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,040
Sure thing.
73
00:03:54,180 --> 00:03:55,240
Oh, my God, you guys.
74
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,060
Red wants to hang out with me.
75
00:03:57,980 --> 00:03:58,918
That's incredible.
76
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,080
Bro, it seems like she really likes you.
77
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:05,360
Really excited to see you Saturday.
78
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:08,220
Whoa. Me in red.
79
00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:09,700
Yucky.
80
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:12,540
Here is my birthday gift wish list.
81
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,640
This exact lububu.
82
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:23,040
Holy shit, you guys. You know what I
think?
83
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:29,010
I think on Saturday I'm going to find
out if red -haired girls have a red bus.
84
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:30,530
Wow!
85
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:43,810
Welcome to Seedy Asian Pop -Up
86
00:04:43,810 --> 00:04:45,210
Store. Can I take an autograph?
87
00:04:46,490 --> 00:04:49,030
Wait, didn't this place used to be City
Walk?
88
00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:51,330
Yeah, but our whole country changed.
89
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:52,710
Didn't you hear the news?
90
00:04:52,930 --> 00:04:53,930
Walk is dead.
91
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:56,350
This shitty pop -up now, what do you
like to have?
92
00:04:56,710 --> 00:05:00,650
We got a shitty pop -up keychain, shitty
cell phone charm, shitty anime
93
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:03,630
sculpture. Well, actually, I'm looking
for a labubu.
94
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:08,250
Oh, yeah, I would love a labubu. They're
very hard to keep in stock, very
95
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:09,710
expensive because of tariffs.
96
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,590
You know, it's really important.
97
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:15,310
I got this new girlfriend, and she wants
this specific labubu for her birthday.
98
00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:19,750
Oh, that very rare labubu. You only find
that in a mystery box.
99
00:05:20,359 --> 00:05:21,359
Mystery box?
100
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:22,820
Hi, are you guys still serving food?
101
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,640
No, no, no. Walkie's dead. Haven't you
heard the news?
102
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,380
Can't I just buy this labubu? No, that's
not the way it works.
103
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,180
You buy mystery box. You open it.
Hopefully you get the one you want.
104
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:36,060
Okay, how much is a mystery box?
105
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,640
Eighty -five dollars.
106
00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:39,140
Eighty -five?
107
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:43,240
Yeah, you gotta pay tariff. You think I
pay tariff? No, no, no, no. You pay
108
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,440
tariff. Okay, I'll take one.
109
00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:49,740
You just a cunt.
110
00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,760
Yeah,
111
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:02,800
well, walkie's dead, you stupid beast.
Stop nagging me.
112
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:04,700
Ah, dang it.
113
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,040
This is the wrong one.
114
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:10,500
Oh, yeah, that's just happiness, the boo
-boo. Very common, very common. You try
115
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,500
again, $85.
116
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:15,520
I have to pay another $85, and I still
might not get the one I want?
117
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,520
Hey, it's not me. It's your government.
118
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:22,240
I don't give fuck by tariff. You give
fuck by tariff. In China, we call that
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00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,240
potato.
120
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,200
You're watching Fox News.
121
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:31,860
The president has just returned from his
historic tariff summit overseas.
122
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:36,620
There's the president now looking
handsome as ever. Oh, and there's the
123
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:39,560
of darkness who's been traveling with
the president as of late.
124
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:43,430
The president has made his way off of
Air Force One and will now speak to a
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00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:44,750
diverse crowd of reporters.
126
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:46,170
Mr. President,
127
00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:48,950
how did the tariff meetings go?
128
00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:50,630
They were great, buddy.
129
00:06:51,050 --> 00:06:52,050
Mr.
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00:06:52,770 --> 00:06:54,910
President, we're all dying to know
something.
131
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,290
Your wife, Melania, has been staying in
New York and away from the White House.
132
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:00,529
That's right.
133
00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:05,170
Well, what Fox News really wants to know
is, are you fucking Satan?
134
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,680
We're just sort of hanging out.
135
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,640
Oh, come on, President Trump. With
everything you've been doing, pretty
136
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,640
whole country thinks you're fucking
Satan now.
137
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,540
I'm not fucking Satan.
138
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:20,820
Can we go, please?
139
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:29,200
He is fucking Satan. That guy's
definitely fucking Satan. What a stud.
140
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,860
Yeah, Fox News.
141
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:35,540
All right, everyone, listen up. As you
know, there's a lot being done in the
142
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:37,420
country to bring Christian values back
to our schools.
143
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,700
Our new school counselor has some
concerns that I understand he'd like to
144
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,760
Go ahead, Jesus.
145
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:48,780
Well, I'm just a bit confused about the
dramatic rise in fist fighting over
146
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:49,820
these labubus.
147
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,880
Oh, yeah. The labubus. Kids go nuts for
them.
148
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,420
I just don't quite understand what the
fascination is.
149
00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,760
Well, they're just the new fad of the
month, you know.
150
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,320
They make them scarce and hard to find a
secret one.
151
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:05,200
Yeah, and then all the kids make their
labubu TikToks.
152
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:06,620
Labubu TikTok?
153
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:10,210
Yeah, the kids make them and they watch
them. I can pull one up. This is Kelly
154
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:11,570
Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class.
155
00:08:12,510 --> 00:08:14,970
Hey guys, this is another LeBooBoo
unboxing video.
156
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:18,810
I got this LeBooBoo online. I'm pretty
sure it's not a LeFooFoo. I got the QR
157
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:19,809
code right here.
158
00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:22,670
We're going to see what we got. I hope
it's a rare one. If it is, I'm
159
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,690
going to freak out.
160
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,770
Okay, let's see, let's see, let's see.
161
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:31,710
Oh my God!
162
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:32,990
Oh my God!
163
00:08:33,669 --> 00:08:35,549
Okay, okay, let's start the ritual.
164
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:56,900
What the hell was that?
165
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,300
That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok.
166
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,080
Kids go nuts for him.
167
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,160
But that's like some dark satanic
ritual.
168
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,220
Oh, yeah, Labubu's are demonic.
169
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:07,540
Yeah, dark magic.
170
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:10,260
I don't know if they come that way from
China or their kids are infusing them
171
00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:11,660
with some Sumerian dark entity.
172
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,060
It's Mesopotamian.
173
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,160
Got it. So what are your major concerns,
Jesus?
174
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:21,700
Bro, that's not normal. These kids are
in trouble.
175
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,520
Yeah, that's why every school needs a
counselor.
176
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:40,200
Welcome to City Pop -Up. Take a hot
break.
177
00:09:40,970 --> 00:09:44,790
I have $88 .42 in here. I need to buy
another mystery box.
178
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:46,130
Oh, sorry.
179
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,930
La Boo Boo Mystery Box, $120.
180
00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:50,090
What? It was $85.
181
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:53,890
Yeah, your tariff went up. You never
know with tariff. They make no sense.
182
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,470
But that's not fair.
183
00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:57,370
Yeah, no shit tariff not fair.
184
00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:00,030
Please, sir. My girlfriend's party is
today.
185
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,630
And I have to get the La Boo Boo she
wants. Please.
186
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,950
It's okay. It's okay. I have idea.
187
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:07,450
You want mystery box for cheap price?
188
00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:09,410
You use crime machine.
189
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:13,880
You try your luck. Use a cry machine,
you get a mystery box, open it up,
190
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,500
hopefully you get the boo -boo you want.
191
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:28,760
Oh, you're so cross. Try again.
192
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,400
Oh, gee.
193
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,300
Oh,
194
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,040
here we go.
195
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:39,750
I get screwed by Taps, so I have to
screw the children.
196
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:41,290
What do you not understand?
197
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,230
Yeah,
198
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:49,330
well, walk not coming back, bitch. Go
walk, go brah.
199
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,510
Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs.
Gray.
200
00:10:55,090 --> 00:10:58,850
The reason I called you in today is
because your girls were in a major
201
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:00,350
altercation over their labubus.
202
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:02,550
Okay, so what are you going to do about
it?
203
00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:07,440
Well, I was hoping we could work
together to maybe just keep them away
204
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:11,320
labubus. Oh, sure. Just take their
labubus away. Great counseling.
205
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:15,860
Look, I have reason to believe that the
students are using labubus for some kind
206
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,260
of ritual.
207
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,000
Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a
super rare one.
208
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:22,360
They're the only ones girls can use in
dark rituals.
209
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:24,460
You know that they're demonic?
210
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:29,100
Yeah. What are we supposed to do? My
daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning
211
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:32,240
demonic forces on TikTok, then she wants
to be like Kelly Miller.
212
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,140
Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces?
213
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,720
I don't know. She hung herself.
214
00:11:37,140 --> 00:11:39,620
Well, we should probably keep the girls
off of TikTok.
215
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,700
Oh, yeah. Just keep them off TikTok.
216
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,540
That's some clever counseling there.
217
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:44,779
Do you have kids?
218
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:45,780
No, I don't.
219
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,560
Figures. Well, when you do, you try and
keep them off of TikTok and out of the
220
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:50,560
Asian pop -up store.
221
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,280
Wait. What is an Asian pop -up store?
222
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,160
That's where the girls get all the
little boo -boos. Where did they find
223
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,180
guy? We told you he was a crappy
counselor.
224
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,840
This is a fact news alert.
225
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:09,680
As debates on American tariffs continue,
the question on every American's mind
226
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,580
tonight, is President Trump fucking
Satan?
227
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:16,380
The president's been seen less and less
with his wife and more often with his
228
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:20,660
new pal, making people all around the
world say Donald Trump has got to be
229
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:21,960
fucking Satan for sure.
230
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:26,000
Well, for all of us who are still
skeptical that President Trump is
231
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:30,240
Satan, Fox News has obtained some
footage of President Trump seeming to be
232
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,240
fucking Satan.
233
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:34,950
This was at a golf course yesterday
where the president was heroically
234
00:12:34,990 --> 00:12:38,530
You can just make out Satan going behind
a bush and President Trump right there.
235
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:42,230
He's fucking Satan. Karen, what do you
think? I think the president is
236
00:12:42,230 --> 00:12:45,230
definitely fucking Satan, and I love it.
237
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:49,010
Of course, a lot of Americans still
argue there's no way the president could
238
00:12:49,010 --> 00:12:53,030
fucking Satan. So we have a body
language expert to show us just how it
239
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:58,010
possible. Well, if Mr. President Trump
is fucking Satan, and I'm not saying if
240
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,470
he is or he isn't, I'm just kind of
hoping he is.
241
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,180
He mostly likely is coming in from the
back.
242
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,040
Now, Satan has a pretty large physical
presence, so we're pretty sure President
243
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:11,140
Trump would have to get on top of him.
Oh, my God. The president is doing
244
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,640
no other president has done before. I
love him.
245
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,460
You think President Trump is fucking
Satan? This definitely proves how he
246
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:18,460
be.
247
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,900
Welcome to Shitty Asian Pop -Up Store.
Take out a piece.
248
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:36,980
Are you the one that has been selling
all these Labooboos to my students?
249
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:38,759
Oh, boy.
250
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,220
Look, it's not my fault these shitty
prices, okay?
251
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,520
Labooboos are very expensive.
252
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:45,000
Those dolls you are selling are cursed.
253
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,440
Yeah, no shit they curse.
254
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:48,960
It's called tariff. You pass it along.
255
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,800
I curse, I put the curse on you. It's
like an AIDS.
256
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,520
Oh, my God. I got it.
257
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,360
I got the super rare.
258
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,420
Hey, what the hell are you talking
about?
259
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,040
This is the one my girlfriend wants.
260
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,900
I can take it to a birthday party.
261
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:02,960
My child, put that down. It's dangerous.
262
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:07,300
Hey, hold on. That's super wet. That was
like $600.
263
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,680
You gotta pay more tariffs.
264
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,040
Oh,
265
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:18,340
my God. We go away. Listen, both of you.
There are more important issues at
266
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:21,420
hand. My child, you cannot take that to
a birthday party.
267
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:24,520
Oh, shit. Where you go?
268
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,260
Satan, why are you so sad?
269
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,920
I wish to be gone from this place.
270
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:57,940
I do not understand.
271
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:02,400
If you do not want to be here, then why
do you stay?
272
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:07,140
I am forced to stay by the dark tides of
destiny.
273
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:11,920
I wanted to leave months ago, but I
cannot.
274
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,640
Because of what's in this box.
275
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:20,810
What's in the box?
276
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:27,090
The secret none must know, and yet all
will soon discover.
277
00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:30,710
I can feel the tides of change.
278
00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:34,910
The final showdown is upon us.
279
00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:56,340
Happy birthday, Red.
280
00:15:57,140 --> 00:16:00,280
Is that what I think it is?
281
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,600
Well, you'll have to wait till you open
it and find out if... Oh, all right,
282
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:05,600
then.
283
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:47,429
South Park Elementary.
284
00:16:47,430 --> 00:16:48,430
I'm sorry we're closed.
285
00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:51,290
Beth, I need to know which of the
students has a birthday today.
286
00:16:52,270 --> 00:16:53,270
Who is this?
287
00:16:53,450 --> 00:16:54,450
It's me, Jesus.
288
00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:57,650
Who? The school counselor.
289
00:16:58,190 --> 00:17:02,010
Oh. I don't know who has a birthday
today. That was actually always the
290
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:03,010
counselor's job.
291
00:17:03,510 --> 00:17:05,569
Can you just look it up in the school
records, please?
292
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,569
Hang on.
293
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:09,329
Guess I'm doing your job, too, now.
294
00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:16,410
Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm so excited
to finally do it. Well, you... Yeah, I
295
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:18,250
guess I'm excited to do it too, Red.
296
00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:20,210
Okay, I think we're all ready.
297
00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:22,290
Here, you take a video of the whole
thing.
298
00:17:22,569 --> 00:17:24,250
Oh, can't we just kiss first?
299
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,650
Hey, what's up, guys? This is my TikTok
La Boo Boo video.
300
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:30,030
I got the super rare, so let's see if it
works.
301
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,450
Hey, we want to watch.
302
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:32,910
Yeah, come on in, you guys.
303
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,070
La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo.
304
00:17:38,370 --> 00:17:39,830
La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo.
305
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,760
Satan spotting. The two are rumored to
be in a small mountain town in the
306
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,880
Rockies. Let's go to our Colorado
affiliate.
307
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,700
Yeah, guys, there's definitely black
clouds and swarms of locusts here.
308
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,200
Probably another labubu party.
309
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:50,740
You know, whenever there's a labubu
party, the president and Satan usually
310
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:51,499
an appearance.
311
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,240
We've got our eye in the sky now. Guys,
what are you seeing?
312
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,150
Come on, let's go.
313
00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:07,510
Lucifer!
314
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:12,750
So, it is you.
315
00:19:13,510 --> 00:19:16,990
Just what are you doing, Satan? I will
know.
316
00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:23,390
Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now
on the scene for some kind of biblical
317
00:19:23,390 --> 00:19:28,510
showdown. I have seen your evil at work,
Satan. I bid you leave this realm at
318
00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:31,350
once. You think I don't want to leave?
319
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,270
I am bound to him.
320
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:35,190
Found to him how?
321
00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:37,290
All right, fine. Here.
322
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,770
You all want to know the truth?
323
00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:44,470
Yes. We're together.
324
00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:46,810
We've been together for months.
325
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:49,970
And I want to leave him. But I can't.
326
00:20:06,190 --> 00:20:07,710
So now you all know.
327
00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:12,150
I am forced to stay in this situation
for several more years.
328
00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:20,630
Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at
the White House because he's pregnant.
329
00:20:21,130 --> 00:20:25,170
Uh, let's get our science expert in here
to see if that's actually possible.
330
00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:31,470
Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a
little different. The term is butt baby.
331
00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:35,930
All right, well, that seems to be it.
Satan is pregnant with the president's
332
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:41,870
child. So Fox News can now confirm
Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this
333
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:43,210
whole time. Yeah!
334
00:20:43,850 --> 00:20:49,630
This is a great day for Fox News. For
all the doubters who thought Donald
335
00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:52,210
wasn't fucking Satan, in your face.
336
00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:56,150
We're going to check in now with Kid
Rock. Kid, you must be overcome with
337
00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:57,830
emotion. I just...
338
00:20:58,060 --> 00:21:02,300
I just honestly didn't think the
president was fucking Satan, but now
339
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:06,240
that he has been this whole time, I'm
just so happy.
340
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,340
Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable
lesson.
341
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:18,360
If you mess around and you aren't safe,
it can have really big consequences.
342
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,860
Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long
time.
343
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:25,600
And I'm done with the boobers.
344
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:26,840
Well, that's good.
345
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:31,930
Because as your counselor, I'm banning
the boo -boos from school and TikTok and
346
00:21:31,930 --> 00:21:32,930
cell phones.
347
00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:35,730
Now get back to class. You both have
detention for two weeks.
348
00:21:36,070 --> 00:21:37,070
Oh, man.
349
00:21:38,270 --> 00:21:40,170
Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick.
350
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,470
Yeah, but he's better than the last guy.
351
00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:48,290
La boo -boo.
352
00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,230
La boo -la boo -la boo.
26810
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