Original subtitles

I want to make a Taj Mahal for my Mumtaz.

Tell me how much have I made?

About four bricks. - Guess it's going to take a while.

How much have you made?

I mean, we can work together in partnership, what do you say?

Get out... let me work.

Come on, tell me please.

Let me work.

Careful, Vava be careful.

Careful! You tend to panic. Don't panic. Okay?

Let's start with Chautala, pick the goggles!

Good!

Now aunty..

Very good!

Now move on to the next.

What is it?

What are you doing? The same mistake for four times?

I just can't handle "beauty".

Everything else is fine.

It's very simple bro.

You must spend some time with them.

Really?

600... 650...

Show me.

What?

How much have I made?

What do you want to build? - White house.

Do you see?

Yes brother I do, I do. - He has got drive this one.

Certainly.

He's a lion, a lion indeed.

Guy has got guts indeed.

But what have you done so far?

I can do anything!

You tell me What?

Mr. Shukla..

Mr. Shukla..

Shukla you are avoiding me!

Amol, I have already told you... No!

But I am just asking for a small favour!

And... I am willing to pay for it! Give me one of your guys!

I have told you once and for all no means no.

This is your problem Mr. Shukla.

There are so many talented gems here.

Each better than the other.

But you treat them like coal.

Please Shukla, give me one of your boys.

I will set Delhi on fire.

Amol, I know each of my boys very well.

Think how many've been destroyed trying to make that fire.

This is the problem.

There is a saying in my aunt's village..

Don't polish a diamond so much that it begins to look like glass.

Means?

I'll tell you.. move.

Okay, look here.

Very good.

Shukla, I don't want to do all this.

What? You don't want to do what?

This pick pocketing... stealing.

Okay, then what will you do?

Anything.

Anything?

Chaddaji, I will work with complete honesty.

Just try me once.

No, my friend this work is beyond your capability.

Chaddaji, just give me one chance.

I will prove I can do it.

Give me one chance.

Son, this is not how we work here.

We require the gift of the gab and here you are speaking from the heart.

Divine mother shower prosperity, bless me... my mother.

Show your grace.

Hallo. True real estate. You need an apartment?

Are you a bachelor or a family?

Okay, and what's your budget?

Okay, a small budget? No problem.

You'll definitely get one.

Ok alright, you just come over here.

The keys, Chaddaji! A client is coming.

Very good, amazing! Here you go.

Sit.

What will you have? Tea, coffee or a cold drink?

Yes sir.

No sir.

Chautala, get two glasses of dessert.

Sir, you've just had tea, you'll catch cold.

No, not for me, it's for the guests.

No, no, Sir! - It's okay.

Go on, get going. - For them?

Okay so from here to there..

...from there to here and from here to there again..

..very skillful!

An artist!

Very good, very good! - Thank you sir.

If I wasn't a cop I'd be doing the same.

What are you saying, Sir? - Yes, indeed!

Now that would have been real fun!

And who would be there to save you then?

Give.

You've been drinking cold tea? Are you okay?

Where were you all night?

Why, what happened?

Is it the time to come home, 3 o'clock in the night?

Knock knock knock'... wrecking someone's sleep.

Have you gone mad?

You talk like there's been a disaster.

I always come late. - I'd been waiting for you so long.

So what's the problem? Tell me now.

Tell me now.

Okay, listen.

What?

I went to Chaddha.. - The property agent?

Yes... - Yes, I went to him..

A client came..

..beautiful..

..innocent... no... innocent like.

She got down from the auto.

Will you be showing me the apartment?

Yes.

Are you married? - Yes.

Just got married before coming here.

No, I mean, it is easy for people with a family to get an apartment.

Why don't you show me the place first? - Okay, wait for a moment.

Where are you living now?

Once I like the apartment I will give you all my details, got it?

No, it's just that... one needs proof, you know.

Shall we see the place? - Yeah sure.

okay, please come. You are very jolly indeed!

Come.

So this is the hall.

Yes, now, this is all we have.

I will show you the kitchen now.

Looking at the rooms.

she asks, what is special about them?

Listen.. just listen.

This is the kitchen

It's pretty small.

This is small?

Nice.

Brother, she looked around all the rooms and I kept looking at her.

I couldn't understand anything..

..I was saying one thing and doing something else, you know.

Area?

What? - Area.

Area?

Twelve paces...

Eight paces... - What are you doing?

Measuring the area? - You don't know the area?

Area, means Jungpura?

Let it be

What's your name?

10,000 per month... Satbir.

And then she left.

I couldn't get her address or phone number.

Why don't you resolve your confusion first?

What confusion?

First decided you want a job or a girl?

I want a job first..

..then I want a girl, and that too this girl.

You can't even take care of yourself and you want to get married!

Can't take care of myself?

I've been taking care of you.

I wash all your clothes, your underwears.

Cook for you.

Wait for you all night and I cannot take care?

What's the problem if I want to get settled?

I want to get settled.

And you are talking as if you are well settled.

Yes, I am. I am well settled. - Well settled, my foot.

Just get lost and don't come to me searching for your underwears.

Go on... find it yourself.

Just get lost. - It's impossible to explain you anything.

Get lost! - Get lost!

Go on, wash this glass. - Tell your 'girlfriend

Sir..

Oh, you are looking wonderful, my samosa!

Move back a little, let me take a look.

Excellent... excellent!

Now whirl around, round and round, sway your waist with gusto!

Round and round.

Hello.

Hi, Aditi, you are coming today, right?

Okay!

Shukla, how's business?

Going well.

And how are you?

Fine.

Amol's been frequenting your joint these days.

He wishes to buy.

Take care that nobody gets sold from your family.

Chauhan sir, we are not for sale.

Buyers like these... so many have come and gone.

You don't worry.

Good, that's how it ought to be.

The line shouldn't be crossed.

We have our constraints too.

Brother, I'm really heartbroken seeing you do this work.

I can also do the kind of work that you're doing..

..then what's the difference between you and me now?

Who are you trying to reason with?

These days, he's possessed by ideas of love and honesty.

Look, I'm happy doing what I'm doing.

But we are not happy.

And how can you be happy with petty thievery?

Lions are born to hunt.

But it isn't your fault.

If lions start feeding on leftovers, they'll become jackals.

Allow me.

Join me, together we can set Delhi on fire.

I will provide you a platform for your talent.

Wake up.

Recognize the talent within you which is struggling to touch the skies..

..struggling to shine like the stars.

Now I will not speak more.

In our village, there is a saying..

The greater the man, the lesser he speaks.

And when you feel like doing something big..

..just drop by.

I am always there for you waiting.

He doesn't know himself... nor his grandma's address..

..and sets out to conquer the world.

So what's wrong in what he said?

Everything.

This man is wrong, this business is wrong..

..you're all wrong, you know.

Oh really!!

We are all wrong! We'll show you who we are.

Munna.. - Yes.

Are you ready? - Yes.

Okay.

No uncle, I discussed with Dinesh, he told me the delivery will be on Monday.

Hallo Savitri..

..I'll reach office and call you.

What's this Uncle, think you are still young?!

Hey... hey, my bag... my bag.

Hey, girl, my bag.

Hey, my bag, my bag.

My bag...

My bag..

My bag..

Oh no!

Oh no! - Oh no!

Brother, give it back please.

15... 16... 17... 18... 19... 20

You've won me over son!

Honesty is worth something too sir.

Well, money shouldn't get mixed up with honesty.

Come, come, come, my Lion, come.

Hey, get me some water.

Not water, give him some sherbet.

Where have you set up your joint, Amol..

..the climb has taken all the steam out of me.

Dear when it comes to that, I could even stay at the Taj..

..but there is a saying in my in-law's village..

That eating, bathing and shitting ought to be done in the open.

What a wonderful saying!

Now, let's talk some business.

This party is worth 250 crores..

..we'll get 50 crores over the phone itself.

That's all ok but what will be my cut?

Take 1 lakh.

Okay take 2 lakhs.

10 lakhs, not less than 10 lakhs.

Done!

Done! Take 10 lakhs!

Okay then, I'll start planning from today.

I'll leave now. Hey Moosa, we'll meet up.

Now, what's wrong with you?

Brother, I don't like it the way you squander away your money and your life.

Understand, just understand..

..one has to do these things.

Don't we have to establish ourselves in Delhi?

Think about that.

Hey, he's taken my goggles.

Dear, he's taken my goggles.

Flicked them, right from under our noses.

Ohh... I love this boy!

Where were you?

Some important work had come up.

Quite a bit of important work these days eh!

I want to give up petty crime

You mean, if Satbir is a samosa.. what'll you be, a dancing dosa?

We'll kidnap someone.

The richer the party, bigger the ransom.

Are you mad?

What tangles are you getting into?

Do you realize what'll happen when Shukla learns of this?

There's no need to tell Shukla.

He'll not let anyone grow big.

As if he won't come to know.

I don't care. You think I'm scared of him?

It is you who's scared. - We are not scared.

Just that we respect him.

Listen Munna, let's do it together.

For Amol?!!

No, Munna for us.

1... 2... 3...

At the count of three she will be right in front of me.

1... 2... 3...

Good morning. - What are you doing here?

Just get lost. Go away from here.

Where's her purse?

What's the matter, Madam?

This gate will not open without a token.

Take out your token first.

Look, my purse has just been stolen.

The token was in it.

Then you will have to pay the fine.

Where did you board the train from? - Rajiv Chowk.

Rajiv Chowk.. that amounts to 475 rupees. Out with it.

What do you mean?!

I've just told you that my purse has been stolen!

If the token was in it, so was the money!

What have I got to do with that?

I'm bound by my duty too.

Listen, every day I travel this way daily.

You can take the fine tomorrow.

Everyone comes here daily.

Madam, how are you?

Do you recognise me, at that apartment...

Yeah. - What's the matter?

Just see! My purse has just been stolen..

..and he insists on showing me his duty.

So what! This is my job.

Omkarbhai, listen to me..

..there are so many thieves and pickpockets loitering about here.

I spotted one just now..

..one with curly hair... no, I mean with a beard and all...

So what, I am not a cop, to run after pickpockets.

That's true, but these things happen.

Don't you see she is from a good family.

So what? She should know how to talk to people.

Omkarbhai, listen to me.. please try and understand.

I know her well. I've known her since long

You know her. - Yes of course!

Well, then, you make amends. - I will, I will see to it.

Come, come.

Everyone gets robbed here.. no problem.

Please come.

Thank you so much. - Please don't say that.

Hey, Satbir! Hop on, I'll drop you.

Come on.

Okay..

We'll take another auto.

Please get in.

Punjabi Bagh.

Hey Satbir, who's she?

You could only find my friends purse to steal?

Which purse, Satbir?

Look, I've got to get back to work, don't make me mad!

oh really and between you and your friend my time's not getting wasted?

Don't make me mad now. Out with the purse.

This is not good. I'll report to Shukla.

Alright then, you won't do your brother such a small favor.

I'll do it for my brother.

Okay I'll do it for my brother's friend too.

Nina, on my way!

Please... tell me where did you find it?

Nina, I've been in this city for twenty years now.

I know all kinds of people.

Check your purse.

Is everything there? - Okay.

All good?

Everything is as it was.

You... you're amazing.

Thank you.

Satbir, but tell me, where did you find this purse?

You must know those people, don't you?

No, no.

Tell me... please.

Tell me the truth, you do know them, don't you?

No, no... I mean... maybe one or two, who...

You know I've always wanted to meet members of a gang.

I mean... I just want to see how they pick pockets.

They are so talented, isn't it?

Anyways, you've done so much for me, thank you so much for that.

Excuse me... bill please?

No, well... I can try.

No, it's okay.

You've already done so much for me. I can treat you to a coffee at least.

No, no, no, no, what's all this

You are my guest. I'll pay.

Here. Keep the tip - Thank you sir.

Ok, Nina, you want to see pickpockets at work..

..so let me see. I'll try.

I'll try, but..

..when..

Are you serious?

Yes.

Hey Ronnie, what is all this?

What have you done here? You are cleaning up too, are you feeling alright?

It's nothing, just expecting guests. - What's all this?

In this junkyard you are expecting guests?!

My hotel looks like a junkyard to you? - It doesn't look like a hotel atleast.

Okay, tell me what's up?

Pal, he turned out to be a very big businessman.

He is worth millions!

Don't get into anything silly. - No, I won't.

Satbir is a very good friend of his

They meet daily, everyday.

What else!

And he is a real miser even more than our Vava.

What are you saying! - Yeah..

..he piss in the open rather than pay a rupee at the public toilet.

Just think!

A little further son, feet will get wet.

Will have to cut it.

Come and pay your fine.

Son...

Sonny!

Listen, let's settle it between the two of us.

Tell the boss - Why bother him?

Is he in a good mood?

He's a good man, he may agree.

Come on, let's go

Come, now.

Hey, there, stop.

Off you go. Too late now.

Son I'm telling you even now, let's settle it between us..

..the boss will unnecessarily fine me a big sum...

Now there's no way, I will charge you.

Where is the officer?

You just get in.

Give me a killer... give me a killer... give me a killer!

You were begging on the streets of Delhi.

He is a hero, he has fire in his eyes!

What do you see in my eyes? Ash?

He came, kidnapped and vanished what did you do?

Moosa!

Once, twice, thrice...

The universe is conspiring to make fools of us everytime!

But this time he will not get far.

It's a real heavyweight that he's picked up!

Shall I take up the gun?

Say the word and I'll take it up.

Yeah?

Now I see..

Yes, now there is fire in your eyes.

Sir, have you decided?

Take the fuel money, vehicle rent and settle the matter.

Only that much, sir?

I'm a poor man, son.

What are you saying, sir?

You have such a flourishing business in Delhi.

You call yourself poor!

You are mistaken, my child.

I deal in stones.

Tiny... round... shiny! those kind, right?

Make the call. - What?

Call Aunty.

Why do that?

She may be calling any moment.

But she doesn't bother with money matters.

Call your brother.

Don't call him.

Why? - I'll tell you why?

He'll call the police.

So who the heck should I deal with?

With me.

Okay, call for the cash.

There, that's her.

It's Savitri.

Hello.

Hello.

Yeah sure, wear it, looks very good on you.

Hey cut the crap!

Savitri, I am going to china on a business trip.

I'll call you when I return in a weeks time.

Okay, bye.

That's it... done

Get off.

Wow... what a life!

Mobile... switched off.

No more work..

..only rest.

What 's there to eat?

Hi, come... come... come.

Hi, Satbir!

Hope I'm not late. - No, not at all.

Where do we have to go? I'm so excited, let's go

We don't have to go anywhere it will all happen here.

Here in the coffee shop?

No, not in the coffee shop, over there.

Look, can you see the short guy near the pan shop.

Him... he's so small.

He looks small, but he is smart twice over.

Now, he will eat paan and be ready with it in his mouth.

And look over there, the fellow with the beard.. - Where?

Did you see him? - Yes.

They are now waiting for a prey.

Really.

Look there, someone's come.

Now, watch!

You!!! You have ruined my clothes. - Sorry sir.

Sorry.

Your one English word won't clean my clothes?

We also eat paan but before spitting we look around.

I did not see you, you came suddenly.

I came suddenly? - Yes.

Heard what he is saying?!

Should I announce loudly move away, I'm coming, move away, I'm coming?

I've already said, Sorry!

Are you doing him a favour saying sorry?

You people have painted Delhi red with your spitting.

And he is arguing that I came suddenly!

Hands off!

Look, brother, don't mind my saying so..

..but get him to wash your clothes..

...that will teach these scoundrels a lesson.

Yes, you're absolutely right. - Please do so.

When you wash the clothes..

..then you will realize the consequences of spitting on someone.

Come on, wash sir clothes.

Remove your clothes, sir.

Remove my clothes here? - No, in the bathroom there.

Go on, wash them quick.

Go on, wash them quick. - I am ready to wash the clothes.

Take him away. How are you uncle?

They are gone, Satbir.

They will come back.

We'll wait.

Sir, my neck will get hurt.

You spoil his clothes, wash quickly, then you will know

Just wasting this gentleman's time.

But I've agreed to wash them. - Wash quickly.

Don't remove your pants here, it will look odd if someone comes.

Go on in and give the clothes to him he will wash them.

You are right. - Give this bag to me, I'll keep it.

I will hold it, how will you take it inside, elsewhere will you keep it here.

You are an honest gentleman, why should I worry?

I am not hitting you.

Today you will scrub my clothes.

Give them quick please - Let me get them off.

Now, you will remember who you had to deal with.

Yeah! - Today you will know who you had to deal with.

I will wash them just now.

Scrub them well, go on

Don't talk much, wash it quickly.

Make it fast.

Wash it fast. I'll get it done, sir.

Scrub them and wash them well.

Have you lost your voice?

Is it washed yet.

Hey there, is it washed yet?

Where are you?

I'm asking, is it washed yet?

Where is he?

This is so exciting.

Do you know, I'm seeing all this for the first time!

The poor guy's really screwed.

Look there, do you see that?

There is one more guy.

You become oblivious.

Don't ever fall in love.

You become oblivious.

Don't ever fall in love.

Eyes are locked.

The heart pines a little.

Eyes are locked.

The heart pines a little.

Love is my obsession.

The path of love is hard.

Love is my obsession.

The path of love is hard.

Kites fall down after flying high.

Kites fall down after flying high.

Kites fall down after flying high.

Kites fall down after flying high.

You become oblivious.

O Lord, don't fall in love.

I don't believe this.

Satbir..

..with you, the whole day just zipped by.

Come on. - Thank you so much Satbir. Really!

Wow!

Sonny, wonderful!

You turned out to be a bigger businessman than me.

Unit, ten, hundred, thousand... lakh?

One and a half lakhs for a pastry?

I will not have any of these.

Go on, I will give you a 20 % discount.

Then I won't have it at all

Don't eat then, as you wish.

We'll close the kitchen today then.

I'll give you today's expenses, tomorrow I won't even give you that.

I'm done. It's very spicy.

Look, Delhi police will soon be on your trail.

They will really beat me up, no? Yeah.

Purushottam, don't scare me like this.

I'm not... I'm trying to reason with you.

Okay, goodnight - Ronnie!

Here's a hot cup of tea, Satbir.

Don't worry so much about work.

Just put your heart in it.

Good times come to everyone.

Pal, I'm not worried about work.

I have a problem with this area.

Everything's fine here. What's wrong with this area?

What's fine?

There is only one school here and that too only upto the 12th grade.

Children find it so difficult to attend college, do you know?

Have you seen these houses? So tiny!

All huddled up. A couple can't have a decent romantic conversation here.

A family needs more space you know... open space.

Nina may say yes to marriage any day, then?

What are you saying? Sister-in-law has agreed?

She may say yes any time now, that is the problem.

Any time now?

Like breaking news on TV.

For the first time on TV.

An expose' on how the business of thieving operates!

See next week, eight o'clock in the evening!

What happens in a government office?

You are trained before you get a job.

It is likewise in the world of crime too.

Candidates are selected, trained and tested..

..and then they are inducted into the gang.

There are many gangs like that... who want to make it big.

There is one Inspector, Mr. Chauhan.

He believes all pickpockets are artists.

If some pickpocket is returning empty-handed..

..he even gives them money from his own pocket.

Saying, you people are artists and artists should not go hungry!

He is a close friend of Mr. Shukla.

Meaning, of course, the police is hand-in-glove..

..if the police does not give support, then who can do it.

Meaning, you can walk into the police station as if you were going home.

One such gang is Mr. Shukla's. - Satbir..

Shukla has raised the pickpockets as his own children.

He has taught each pickpocket to steal, to read and write..

...so that they'll never get a raw deal in this world.

Run, Vava!

Well done!

Good job! Excellent!

You are very creative.

Thank you, Sir

Keep it up!

Thank you!

Congratulations, Nina. Thank you Aditi.

Now just watch this show will change your life!

Aditi, I'd told you that Satbir's face shouldn't be seen.

Come on, we needed someone who could put everything together..

..and who could do it better than Satbir.

Brother its morning and you are still in bed!

Wake up...

Shukla has been exposed.

Satbir is on TV

The entire gang, every detail.

Hey, Moosa, am I dreaming?! - Brother..

No, no, you are not dreaming. - Slap me... Moosa.

Here.

Hey, what is it? - Aren't you ashamed?

At least a 'welcome drink' is due.

Every business has its ethics!

What is that?

Ethics' means 'principles'.

Well then, I'll get you one next time.

Next time it seems!

Here they are... they are here, your guests have reached.

Save me, save me, sir.

Delhi Police!

What did you bring with you?

What will you take with you? All that remains will be dust.

Go on, open!

Hey sister, where are you going?

Where are you going?

Listen.

A big TV star has come to my hotel!

It's the good fortune of my hotel.

What will you have? Tea? Coffee? Cold drink?

Sir?

You?

Hello son!

Hello. - Partner in crime, right?

Meaning?

Meaning, sometimes in a samosa, sometimes in a burqa.

What are you talking about?

Now don't act innocent, you know everything.

What has happened to sir?

What is this?

It's nothing. The hotel just started..

..he is the first customer, he is mad with excitement, nothing else.

But why is he all tied up?

Don't bother about all that.

Why did you have to babble on television?

Did I do it deliberately?

Will I trap you... deliberately?

Forget that, will I do this to myself.

I've been running helter-skelter since morning,

I have come here secretly, wearing this burqa.

That innocent girl...

Who? - Meaning, innocent-like..

..that apartment girl, I told her everything.

Offering it to her on a platter.

It felt like, she was recording it in her heart.

She was recording it all... on camera.

I saw it all on TV Mr. Shukla.

Live!

Our' Satbir, felt like taking the gun and blasting the TV.

Our own kid.

I couldn't bear to see it!

I ran over to share the tragedy that has befallen us.

After all Mr. Shukla, when fire breaks out at the neighbours'...

Amol!

The base of this business is trust.

Okay.

And Satbir has broken that trust.

Go get him.

Shukla sir, we searched high and low... but no trace of him.

There is a saying in my village,

Sister of a witch is also a witch'.

Meaning?

Ronnie!

Mr. Shukla, do you still think you should trust your boys.

Seriously... do you?

Allow me.

Panditji... - Yes brother.

Go get the bride and groom.

Right away.

And take the accomplice along.

Come on. - Shukla sir..

I don't want to come.

You want to become a king in a day, is it?

Nothing like that.

Ok, even if I release him Amol will pick him up.

He is after him like a sniffer dog..

...here he is safe at least. - Forget it.

What are you telling me... forget it.

Oh Ronnie.

Amol!

Here we are!

Untie him.

Are you listening to me?

Get up, get up.

Here we are!

Look, Satbir.

Our own Satbir.

I liked being with her.

I wanted her to keep on talking.

So... I kept on answering and she kept on asking.

You become oblivious.

Don't ever fall in love.

You'll cry all alone.

Don't ever fall in love.

Satbir, this is the most beautiful day of my life..

..because you showed me everything that I always wanted to see.

Come on Nina.

Truly, I will never forget this day.

You ruined our entire business... for that... girl?

This is the limit, can't even show my face anywhere.

Just escaped by the grace of Lord Bajrangbali, else...

Mr. Shukla..

..let us just think..

..that Satbir has not done any of this deliberately..

..but the problem is that everyone has seen it on TV.

Amol, it's not necessary that everything you see is true.

Yes son.

It isn't necessary, that everything you see is true.

Shukla, only the trailer is out now.

When the actual programme starts next week...

Amol, don't worry about next week right now.

Oh... I am not worrying at all.

I have just come to share the community's grief..

..as for the rest you are elder to us.

Do whatever you feel is right.

I'll take your leave then.

We'll sit and watch the programme together.

All of us together!

Move it hippo, you want to give an interview or what?

Okay see you. - Okay.

Mr. Shukla..

..Shukla sir, you don't worry I'll set everything right.

What will you set right?

Anyway all of this will not affect you..

..because you have already left the fold..

..my worry is for all of them.

Shukla sir, you have fed me, clothed me, brought me up.

I have grown up playing with all of them.

Will I do this against all of you?

I made a mistake. I was trapped.

I don't understand what's happening with me..

..but if you feel you are trapped because of me..

..then... alright..

...I have 7 days.

I'll do whatever it takes... whatever..

..to make sure this programme does not appear on TV, okay?

Sir!

Sir!

Sir!

Where were you?

Gulping air.

Hey sir, you got hungry and gulped the sweets eh?

The other day you were acting like a hero!

Ok that'll be 3 lakhs.

What? Three lakhs? - Yes, for the sweets.

Here my life is at stake and you are bothered about the sweets!

What sweet costs 3 lakhs?

It costed 1 lakh earlier.

Sure, plus two lakhs for stealing. - Theft?

What theft?

Then have I stolen it? - I haven't stolen anything.

You are a thief anyway, you must have stolen it.

When could I have stolen it?

I haven't done any stealing, must've been you.

What's that? huh?

Well I thought... you'd have eaten it.

When it wasn't there, I am a thief.

Now that it's found, I'm not a thief!

Got a chance and made me a thief!

How did I make you a thief? I thought you'd eaten it!

You are a thief, a super thief! - When it's not there, I'm a thief..

..and when it's found, I'm not.

When it's not there, I'm a thief..

..and when it's found, I'm not a thief.

First of all, you must get hold of the video tapes..

..and you know how to do that.

Demon's den is destroyed. - Praise the Lord.

Gong has been sounded. - Praise the Lord.

Demon's den is destroyed. Gong has been sounded.

There is justice all around.

Praise the Lord.

Light is off, fireflies glow at night.

Munna... Vava... saw that? - "There is justice all around.

Tomorrow watch each person..

..where do they come from, how do they leave- everything.

Praise the Lord.

Forget the sorrow and drink to your health.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Tomorrow is an important day..

..if this gets done, then the path ahead will be easy.

Praise the Lord.

Praise...

Fox is lamb's skin." - Praise...

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Both saints and thugs have united.

Graduates are like parrots.

Short cut is the new mantra.

Are you mad? what are you doing? Don't you see the vehicle behind?

Have you gone blind? We were on the bike behind, we'd have fallen.

Look at this!

Look, I would've died.

Munna, this is the same thing.

This is the limit.

Uncle, there is a puncture repair shop ahead..

..they are doing all this.

This is their regular ploy to get business.

Don't worry, we will fix this, open the boot..

..but we won't call them. - Yes, we won't call them.

Come on uncle.. - The button is on the right side.

Uncle, you just sit back and relax.

This is their regular ploy to get business.

Can you do it alone? - Hey Munna, bring it fast.

Put this under and..

Get the spanner, you clown!

Sir! - Yes?

Can you tell me this address? Lane no. 26..

Lane no. 26? Look, I am not an educated man, I can't read or write...

Why don't you ask this gentleman? he is much better qualified than me.

Sir! We have been seeking our way..

..towing the bridegroom party for over two hours now.

Lane No. 26 near the roundabout..

Okay one minute.

You see this building there's a park right behind it.

This address ought to be somewhere there.

Is there a roundabout too?

Yeah, may be, yes.

Some fountains?

Some tents for the marriage.

Ok, guess we'll have to take a u-turn to get there.

What happened? - Nothing.

The wallet was slipping out.

What? Why are you shooting me now?

Uncle!

What is it, Son? What happened?

I've been looking for you... where were you?

Look, he is the boy, It is his marriage. What happened, son?

Congratulations! - Thank you, thank you.

What should I do uncle? I need to pee badly.

Go on, go on, do it, do it.

Hey, where are you going?

He is Tunnu. In the whole of Ghaziabad..

..no one makes a better wedding video than him.

Uncle, don't embarrass me.

Carry on, carry on.

Hello, Aunt.

She is the bridegroom's mother.

Greetings.

He has given us the proper directions.

We've been roaming around for two hours now.

Please don't mention it - Thank you so much!

It's really alright... seriously.

So, ok, then..

...have food with us..

No, No, it's alright.

You won't? Oh only at your own house? And not at ours?

No, it's, not like that, just that I'm getting late.

Oh well, don't eat with us.

Don't! - Oh, please don't take offense. Listen to me, listen..

..just asked him to have food with us, he says no even to that.

Hey, what are you doing?

What do you mean?

Step out! - Why should we step out?

It's my car. You come out.

Excuse me!

Don't fool around. Come out! - What nonsense!

From where do such people spring up?

Have you downed a peg so early in the morning?

It's getting late,

Who are you? What are you talking about?

Do you want a lift? Where do you want to go?

You will give me a lift in my own car?

Get out!

Hey, what's happening here? What's the ruckus?

Now you will understand.

Look Madam, myself S. K. Kapoor.

Whose Kapoor? - I am Surendra Kapoor.

Excuse me, I'm S.K. Kapoor.

License?

License?

Here. - Here.

Vehicle no?

DL

DL 3C 1764

Get the papers! - I'll get them right away.

Here. - You take a look

Get in. - Madam, what are you doing?

Get in, quick. - Madam, please mind your language.

Look at the personality before you open your mouth.

Who the hell are you?

You don't know who I am! The food minister is a distant uncle of mine.

Who are you talking to? - Show some respect.

Get going! Get going! hold this one, put him in.

Where are you going? - Hold this one.

What are you doing? - He has created the whole ruckus.

Get in. - Listen to me.

I will report this to the people at the top level.

Satbir, here he comes!

Hello!

Come here, you.

How did this auto come in?

Who are you?

You have been following me since morning.

Who are you? - You are not going to listen I see!

I'll have to use other ways to make you understand!

Should I use other ways?

Shall I explain?

Should I?

You are on TV!

Vava!

Sir, this is a reality show and you're the hero of today's show.

Sir, got scared. - Hello Sir.

This is our team, sorry for the inconvenience.

We offer you our heartfelt apologies but sir today our task was..

..to fool someone who'd not be easily fooled.

And here is your wallet, license, and a gift from us.

And here are your car keys.

Sorry Sir - Congratulations, Sir!

Sorry, Sir, Sorry... Sorry - No it's okay.

Get some water for him.

No, no, not necessary.

You guys nearly took the breath out of me!

Just tried to make a good effort!

Is it truly a reality? - Yes sir.

If yes, then it will certainly be a hit show.

Who are you making it for?

For whom, meaning..

..we are just making it for ourselves now, once some channel likes it then...

Liked it - What?

Quite liked it.

Who? - I liked It.

Oh, that doesn't matter. The common man usually likes it..

..but a channel has to like it, a channel.

The channel has liked it too.

What do you mean?

I am the owner of this channel.

What! You?

Why are you staring?

You are the owner of this channel.

Come. Come.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

This.. - Okay.

This also. - This one.

Priya Mehta's. Please will you do it for me.

Okay cool.

So, tell me.

Hey! Just a minute... I have seen you somewhere.

We have been together all morning, after all.

No, no.

I've seen you somewhere else.

Yes, I do appear on TV quite often.

Ohh, that explains it...

I thought I'd seen you somewhere.

Okay, and what's the name of your program?

Chor Chor Super Chor... the real artist.

Wow! Interesting name... - Very catchy, isn't it?

Tell me in detail.

Sir, you'd have seen the metro station..

..bus, park, bazaar..

Satbir, why don't we show sir the DVD?

That's wonderful. Show me.

Vava.. - Yes.

Play this.

What do you need? The remote? Take this.

Catchy, very catchy, mind blowing...

Welcome back to Chor chor Super Chor, the real artist.

This is a special episode..

..and we give you 100 % guarantee of total entertainment.

Think who will be the star today?

Like, for someone it is Shahrukh khan and for someone it is Salman.

It's her, multi-talented, you know.

Naughty girl.

Very naughty, eh?

If our artist Vava eats six paans in one go, what will happen?

Here goes the first, the second, third, fourth, fifth..

..and as the sixth is being chewed...

You!!! You have ruined my clothes. - Sorry sir.

This angle has not worked out so well..

..had it been from the other side, It'd have been better.

But, you salvaged it with your acting.

Is it? Thanks pal.

Stop it

What happened, Sir?

We have just started. - This is my programme.

It is to be telecast next week.

The promos are also on air.

What are you saying, Sir?

This is our program we have done the shoot.

The same location. The same actors.

Who is denying that!

The artists are right in front of you.

We have chosen the location, we have done the shooting.

I know it. I know it all.

Sir, 1 minute just watch some more you are probably confused.

Further? What's there to see?

Sir, you just see it once.

Sir, it is ahead, all the fun is ahead. Just watch.

Yes, Sir, it feels like that's all there is, but there's more.

Should I play? - Yeah, yeah play it.

Play it. - Have a look sir.

Uncle, good morning.

You two!

You..

Don't be startled..

..this is a reality show and you are the hero of this episode.

..and at this moment, you are on TV.

Yes, today the whole nation will see you.

What? Me, a hero?

Yes sir. - And here's your bag.

Sir, this is a gift from us to you.

And Sir, "You Thief, Me Soldier

What? - DVD sir.

Sir, seeing these two, you'd have thought that they're two thieves..

..but they are not thieves they are our actors.

Sir, do call your wife.

Sure, Sure, why not!

Babli, come out with children.

Here, thieves don't run after people, people run after them.

Because this is Chor Chor, Super Chor.

Who helps to get not only the chain but also the peace of mind of public..

..its Chor Chor, Super Chor.

This is it, sir.

What happened, Sir?

Outstanding!

Thank you sir. - Thank you sir.

Agreed.

I've understood.

This will change the history of television.

You saved my life, Sir!

Rather, you have breathed life into this show!

Thank you Sir. - Thank you

Your programme will appear on my channel

What are you saying, sir! Wow!

Congratulations. - Thank you so much. Thank you.

I got so scared, I don't understand what to do!

You acted brilliantly!

Hello!

Hi!

How are you?

I'm alright.

I didn't see you around after that day?

Yes, I got busy.

Where?

Here, in the office. - Yes, with the TV show, yeah, yeah.

I saw It, I liked it.

Its shot well.

Don't worry I don't have a camera with me.

You have made me famous, you know?

Thank you.

Are these your tapes?

Yes Sir.

Yes Sir.

And where did you steal it from?

Sir, this is our show.

We have not stolen these tapes from anywhere.

You are mistaken

Really.

If you think you are so creative..

..then why don't I find the entire programme here?

Sir, this is the entire programme. We have created it

Enough!

Nina..

I'm sorry. You are fired

Praise the Lord.

Everyone praise the Lord.

Everyone praise the Lord.

You praise the Lord. I praise the Lord.

We all praise the Lord.

We all praise the Lord.

First rule, don't miss the wallet.

And if you get caught, beg for mercy.

First rule, don't miss the wallet.

And if you get caught, beg for mercy.

Fill your vault.

Use the stealth of hand.

Fill your vault.

Use the stealth of hand.

If nothing else works...

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Hey, he's picked your pocket.

I know, they will come back home and return it.

In addition, they will show me on TV.

You want to be seen on TV? Come and stand close to me.

Listen, pull your wallet out a bit.

But remain normal. No one should come to know.

Stand straight.

Hey, how do you know?

I know it all!

Just switch it off!

Oh... how I'd dreamt and how it has turned out, Moosa.

Two-pice pickpockets..

..have become superstars!

Really!

And you thought these very pickpockets, were diamonds!

Moosa, don't toy with my emotions, I'm telling you!

Brother, when times are bad, donkeys get to eat gold.

I will finish them

You rascals, I will finish you all off.

No son, I will not go

Don't say that, sir.

You have been here since so many days, if you don't go home...

No my son.

In my life..

..I have spent each penny..

..each emotion with great stinginess.

But today, here... no, Sonny, I'll not go from here.

Don't insist, sir.

I had a home..

..between my wife Savitri and me..

Oh, gatekeepers, tell lord Krishna that poor Sudhama is at his door

See, what a long life aunty has! It's her calling.

Yes, aunt's call.

Yes, Savitri... hello.

No, I will not come. - Sir!

No! - I am telling you..

Sir, please go.

We don't have any children!

But today, I have two kids.

Nobody can stop me today!

Nobody... can stop me today.

3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

Keep this. Keep it. - No, sir.

Return it when you start earning.

You too, keep it

Sir, what are you doing? We don't want it... please.

We don't want it, please, now our business is doing well..

..because of his stupidity you've had to suffer! Forgive us... please

What did you think, I'm giving you money?

Huh?

You kept me here so long, am I a lunatic?

Don't go sir!

I'll leave now, eh!

There's a tag on the box too.

Take this!

I will have to take something for my wife and children too.

Oh, gatekeepers, tell lord Krishna that poor Sudhama is at his door

Uncle, where is this Mata Sundari College?

Son, over there...

Let me come out, you fool

Hey, where are you taking me? - Walk straight.

I am suffocating, you fool.

Walk straight, can't you? - Listen to me dear..

Oh, gatekeepers, tell lord Krishna...

Chauhan sir... good morning.

Did you recognized me or not?

I wanted to share some news with you.

Tell me.

Shukla's man, Ronnie has kidnapped Purushottamdas.

Thank you.

Chautala!

Congratulations, Satbir!

Thank you, thank you

You are... - Aditi.

Oh... yes, Aditi!

You had a friend here don't see her here these days.

Which friend?

Nina!

She quit.

Quit?

Or was she fired?

What difference does it make?

The fact is that the poor thing doesn't work here anymore.

Poor thing?

And what about what she did to me?

What has she done to you?

She just exposed thieves and pickpockets.

She befriended me, fooled me into believing that she loved me..

..and made a fool of me... the whole world was gunning for me.

The whole world was gunning for you because you are a thief.

I was a thief, a pickpocket, but no more.

So how will she know that you've quit all that?

Forget it.

Don't show him my pictures.

Greetings, lady!

Looks like I've got into the wrong bus!

No, no, in fact, you are in the right bus.

You are mistaken.

I need to go to Indrapuram.

Sure, we'll take you there, but lady, this is a DTC bus..

..there is a fine of rupees 50 for not taking a ticket..

..and there could be six months imprisonment too.

I will give you the money now.

Here, one ticket for Indrapuram

Please... give me change baby. - Baby?

Sorry, lady.. lady.

Two, for Indrapuram.

Two? But you are only one!

No, no, I am not with this jerk.

I will find the change for the ticket myself.

Praise Lord Vishnu!

Lady has abused his Lord!

Praise Lord Vishnu!

Do you have some change? - Change with me?

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

I am a hunk and you are a damsel.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

I am a goon of the area.

I am a pickpocket.

In newspapers, in police station I'm discussed.

I am the way to prosper.

O buddy, who has plundered?

O buddy, who has plundered?

She stole my heart.

She stole my heart.

I am a pauper.

Hold my hand.

I am a pauper. Hold my hand.

Make my luck.

Make my luck.

You have the face I desire.

Your photo is dearer than money.

You have the face I desire.

Your photo is dearer than money.

If you say, I can give my life for you.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

Let me give you the rein of my life.

Let me get the nectar.

Let me give you the rein of my life.

Let me get the nectar.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

This is a DTC bus.

The fine for not taking a ticket is one hundred rupees..

..and six months imprisonment is also possible.

Will you not take a ticket for me?

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

I am a hunk and you are a damsel.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

I am a hunk and you are a damsel.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Greetings, sir! - Greetings, sir!

Come, come.

Big people have forgotten the way here.

You'd have just given us a call.

There was no need to trouble Chautala to get us.

We'd have come here immediately.

Don't worry. It is our job to serve you.

Thank you Chautala. - Chautala, something to eat?

How about samosas from Nirula's?

Somosas? - No, not samosas?

Well then, get chhole bhature. - Yes.

Okay sir. - Get a chikoo shake too

And a pan masala for me. - Okay, I'll get it.

Sit. - Thank you sir.

When we come here, we get the feel of being home.

You take such good care of us.

Kids have to be cared for, isn't it!

And how's everything?

Everything's just perfect under your reign.

These days, you are all over the television!

That was Satbir's idea.

It was Satbir's idea? - The whole idea was his.

Very good. And where is Ronnie these days?

He has started a hotel in Karolbagh.

Is it? - Yes.

Good to know that the kids are settling down

Slowly getting settled sir. - Have it.

Go on, eat.

That comes as a surprise.

Ronnie has opened a hotel and he did not even tell us?

Tell him I'm hurt.

There is nothing to feel hurt about sir! He has not told anyone.

Even Shukla sir did not know.

He happened to tell me over a beer.

Okay! Yeah. Do give me his address.

I'll give him surprise. He is one of us too.

Give it, give it

Sir, address... Raigarpura, street number 12.

Near the junction?

On its left.

Very good!

I will give him a surprise soon

Take me with you too. He will be very happy to see us.

What do you think?

Our job is to treat two pice criminals like you to chikoo shake?

But we are not criminals...

If you are not yet, you're sure to become.

First, pickpockets, then kidnapper, then murderer.

It's not like that, sir. - Who do you think you are?

Take them away.

I'll treat you to chikoo shake.

Get going, go,

Sir you could speak to Shukla sir once. - Get going.

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Where to? - Inside.

You think this is a market? free for all to walk in?

This is a police station. - Is Chauhan sir there?

Chauhan sir. He is having a good time with the two of them.

There seems to be some misunderstanding.

That has now been cleared.

You scoundrels will never improve. Release the two rascals.

He gave us a good thrash.

He kept on asking about Ronnie

Just a minute...

It can't move. - Show me your hand.

He just pushed me.

Hallo, Ronnie.

Hero! Hero!

Quite right! Quite Right!

No sir, he is not a hero, he is a villain.

The real villain

What do you want?

Amol, release Purushottam.

Release him.

Come, free him, come, free him, come, come

Such toys are available in the market by the hundreds.

One needs guts to use these...

..which we men are born with, not ones like you.

The arms of the law are very long Ronnie.

The police have surrounded you.

You are under arrest.

Get it off me!

For the past twenty years, you've been mouthing the same dialogue!

Tie him up.

Fool!

Amol, release Purushottam.

The police have learnt about the kidnapping.

Police?

Run!

Fool!

We have summoned the police for you.

Hey, brother, hey.

Where are you wandering around all alone?

I haven't come alone.

The whole bridegroom party is here.

Mr. Shukla!

Shall I pull the trigger, brother?

Shall I? - Moron!

Don't fool around. Put it down, down!

Stupid fellow!

Shukla, when I am not interfering in your business, then why are you...

Shut up! - I am!

Rascal, didn't I forbid you not to touch my boys?

But Mr. Shukla...

Come, sonny, come.

Things go a little up and down sometimes, you know.

Mr. Shukla..

Stop the boys, Shukla.

Did you stop?

Don't joke, Shukla!

I never joke and you know it very well.

Do you see the noose?

It's been set up for the two of you.

How is it?

The plan is to hang you and to roast you from below as well.

Please spare us. - Shukla sir, it's ready.

Come over, brother.

That's fine... let this one go, let these two hang.

Read this and let me know if any lines need to be added.

Suicide note?

Shukla!

Inspector sir, after struggling for twenty years in the world of crime..

..getting exiled from several places..

..getting defeated by the witch of honesty..

..I, Amol, along with my right hand Moosa, am bidding farewell to this world.

We now have hope only from the upper world.

We regret that we were not able to satan ideal for anyone in the world of crime.

But in hell, the other name for terror will be Amol and Moosa.

Your cowards, Amol and Moosa.

Fine? Do you want to add anything?

Is it fine?

Shall we proceed? - Yes, hang them.

Shukla! Shukla!

One minute, one minute!

Now what?

What happened?

For their souls to rest in peace..

...there ought to be a two minute prayer.

Come on, come on.

Okay, take your time.

Oh come on, chant the mantras.

Moosa..

Moosa..

What?

There is a saying in my granny's village..

What?

When the time is right one should become P.T. Usha

What do you mean?

Run!

You are welcome to the show, Chor Chor Super Chor.

Today is a historic day for television.

As today is the grand finale of our show.

And today's hero is a jeep.

It's number is... DL3C 1313.

And as you can see, there are some people jumping into it and driving away.

They have kidnapped a big jeweller from the city.

Friends, you can watch the grand finale and be the winner of this show.

Yes, you just have to spot this jeep and catch the fugitives.

So what are you thinking about?

Maybe this vehicle is somewhere in your vicinity!

So getup, set out and nab them.

You could be a live winner of Chor Chor Super Chor!!!

Don't be disheartened Moosa.

So what if we weren't able to set Delhi on fire, we still have Mumbai!

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Teacher is a thug.

Pack your bags.

Smart ones fall flat on the face.

They have to go empty handed.

Smart ones fall flat on the face.

They have to go empty handed.

Chant God's name.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Welcome!

Hope you had no problems on the way?

Not at all Sir!

Close it Chautala.

Mr. Shukla!

I salute you, your family has guts.

Very good.

Well done!! - Sir from next time we'll have desserts.

Good! - Hello sir!

Real artist - Thank you Sir.

Keep it up. Chautala let's go.

Moosa, take care of your diet.

Satbir, now I realise who has really influenced you!!!

Hey! - Now what?

There is a saying in my father's village!

Which one?

The over smart guy never succeed.

So now I am going to retire you take care of everything.

And start a real new life!

Shukla sir!

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Let me give you the rein of my life.

Let me get the nectar.

Let me give you the rein of my life.

Let me get the nectar.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

I am a hunk and you are a damsel.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

I am a hunk and you are a damsel.

Let me kiss the lips that cuss.

Demon's den is destroyed. - Praise the Lord.

Gong has been sounded. - Praise the Lord.

Demon's den is destroyed. Gong has been sounded.

There is justice all around.

Praise the Lord.

Light is off, fireflies glow at night.

There is justice all around.

Praise the Lord.

Demon's den is destroyed. Gong has been sounded.

Light is off, fireflies glow at night.

There is justice all around.

Praise the Lord.

Forget the sorrow and drink to your health.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Teacher is a thug.

Pack your bags.

Teacher is a thug.

Pack your bags.

Smart ones fall flat on the face.

They have to go empty handed.

Smart ones fall flat on the face.

They have to go empty handed.

Chant God's name.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.