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1
00:01:01,635 --> 00:01:03,945
[ Man ]
*Early in the mornin'
2
00:01:03,965 --> 00:01:06,365
*Before I clear my mind
3
00:01:06,405 --> 00:01:09,875
*I grab a funky glass
and I drink a cup of wine *
4
00:01:09,905 --> 00:01:14,345
*Then I turn my music box
to the latest news of love *
5
00:01:14,385 --> 00:01:16,325
*Let the music
set me groovin' *
6
00:01:18,085 --> 00:01:21,095
*I've got to groove
groove, groove *
7
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,815
*To the music
8
00:01:23,855 --> 00:01:25,985
*Feel it
9
00:01:26,025 --> 00:01:29,035
*I've got to groove
groove, groove *
10
00:01:29,065 --> 00:01:31,465
*To the music
11
00:01:31,495 --> 00:01:35,425
[ Man ] Man! Would you
look at all the hot tail
runnin' around this place?
12
00:01:35,465 --> 00:01:37,695
Look. Look.
[ Groans ]
13
00:01:37,735 --> 00:01:40,705
Dad, can you just please,
please don't embarrass me
today, okay?
14
00:01:40,735 --> 00:01:43,075
Embarrass you?
15
00:01:43,105 --> 00:01:45,105
Son, you spent
the entire summer
depressed...
16
00:01:45,145 --> 00:01:47,515
because your girlfriend
ran off with that
pretty boy Trent.
17
00:01:47,545 --> 00:01:50,945
Now you've gotta
get out there
and crush some ass.
18
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,755
- That's the only way you're
gonna get your mind off her.
- Yes. Yes.
19
00:01:52,785 --> 00:01:54,685
That is what I'm talkin' about.
Yes.
20
00:01:54,725 --> 00:01:57,065
"Crush some ass"?
Aw, come on.
21
00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:59,425
Wait, wait, wait.
22
00:01:59,455 --> 00:02:01,525
I'll show you
how it's done.
No, no, no.
23
00:02:01,565 --> 00:02:03,835
Shh, shh, shh. Watch this.
Just watch and learn.
Please drive--
24
00:02:03,865 --> 00:02:05,965
Excuse me. Uh, ladies? Hi.
25
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:08,465
Hi. This is my son Erik.
26
00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:10,475
Hi.
Mmm.
27
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,645
And, uh--
[ Clears Throat ]
28
00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:14,945
He's moving in today,
and we were just
wondering...
29
00:02:14,975 --> 00:02:18,785
if maybe either of you
were interested in
showing him a good time.
30
00:02:18,815 --> 00:02:21,915
[ Laughs ]
No, thanks.
31
00:02:21,945 --> 00:02:24,615
Oh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
32
00:02:24,655 --> 00:02:26,625
He's a stallion--
[ Groans ]
33
00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:29,525
Just like his old man.
No, Dad, come on.
34
00:02:29,555 --> 00:02:32,385
Well, I tried, huh?
Yeah, thanks.
Now I'm gonna have to transfer.
35
00:02:32,425 --> 00:02:34,455
[ Chattering ]
36
00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:38,125
Son. Son.
Yeah?
37
00:02:38,165 --> 00:02:40,475
I wanna show you
something.
38
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:44,395
This is the list
of all the chicks
I ever banged.
39
00:02:44,435 --> 00:02:48,435
Are you serious?
Is that two-sided?
It is. Nice.
40
00:02:48,475 --> 00:02:51,485
Yeah, it's a good goal
for you to try to keep up
with your old man.
41
00:02:51,515 --> 00:02:54,815
Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name
the last name on the list?
42
00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:57,575
There?
Uh, we didn't tell you,
but when you were three,
43
00:02:57,615 --> 00:03:00,985
we had a trial separation
for a week.
Trial sep--
44
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,415
Uh, Dad, there's, like--
45
00:03:03,455 --> 00:03:05,785
Well, there's 10 names here
for that week alone.
46
00:03:05,825 --> 00:03:09,465
Yeah, I went on kind
of a poontang bender there.
Is that my mom's name?
47
00:03:09,495 --> 00:03:12,055
Yeah, you know,
on second thought I'll
just kind of hang onto that.
48
00:03:12,095 --> 00:03:14,025
Come on, guys,
let's get loaded here.
49
00:03:15,705 --> 00:03:18,075
Cooze, grab a box.
50
00:03:18,105 --> 00:03:19,945
You had sex
with his mom?
Yeah.
51
00:03:19,975 --> 00:03:22,815
How was it?
Yuck.
52
00:03:22,845 --> 00:03:24,785
[ Chattering ]
53
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:34,545
Wow. This place is amazing.
54
00:03:34,585 --> 00:03:39,725
- Hi.
- God, there are
girls everywhere.
55
00:03:39,755 --> 00:03:43,725
- Uh-- This is my room.
- It still kind of sucks
we're not rooming together.
56
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,835
Dude, whatever.
You're gonna be
right down the hall.
57
00:03:45,865 --> 00:03:48,005
Besides, I got a single.
58
00:03:48,035 --> 00:03:49,845
Hold onto this.
I'm gonna find
a bathroom.
59
00:03:49,865 --> 00:03:51,995
All right.
I'll be right back.
60
00:03:52,035 --> 00:03:55,105
Oh, my God.
Hi. How ya doin'?
Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you.
61
00:03:55,145 --> 00:03:56,685
My God.
62
00:04:01,615 --> 00:04:05,185
- Wow! This is gonna take
some getting used to.
- Huh.
63
00:04:05,215 --> 00:04:09,715
Yeah, um, isn't--
Isn't this the guys' bathroom?
64
00:04:09,755 --> 00:04:13,085
No, it's coed.
All the dorms are like this.
65
00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:14,925
Cool. Coed. Yeah.
66
00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:17,505
Don't worry.
I won't peek.
67
00:04:17,535 --> 00:04:20,705
Yeah, I won't peek, uh--
I won't peek either.
68
00:04:20,735 --> 00:04:22,675
I'm Ashley.
What's your name?
69
00:04:22,705 --> 00:04:24,905
I'm Erik.
Hmm.
70
00:04:24,935 --> 00:04:29,505
-Well, it's nice
to meet you, Erik.
- Nice to meet you too.
71
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:31,515
Hey, do you think
you could pass me my shampoo?
72
00:04:31,545 --> 00:04:33,655
It's just right there.
73
00:04:33,675 --> 00:04:38,015
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just gimme a--
a minute here, okay?
- Thanks.
74
00:04:52,065 --> 00:04:54,775
-Erik?
- [ Chuckles ]
75
00:04:56,865 --> 00:05:00,805
Erik? A little help here?
76
00:05:06,615 --> 00:05:08,985
[ Groans ]
[ Squeaking ]
77
00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:12,555
[ Man ]
Ride the white whale, baby.
Ride the white whale.
78
00:05:12,585 --> 00:05:14,615
Oh, my God.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
79
00:05:14,655 --> 00:05:18,225
I'm sorry.
The door was open.
You must be Erik. I'm Bobby.
80
00:05:18,255 --> 00:05:20,055
Hi. Hey, hey.
81
00:05:20,095 --> 00:05:22,095
Come on in, man.
No, no, no.
82
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:24,555
It's-- You guys are busy.
I can come back later.
83
00:05:24,595 --> 00:05:28,225
This is your place too.
Don't worry about Margie.
She's not exactly shy.
84
00:05:28,265 --> 00:05:31,765
- No, she's not.
- Sit down. You want a beer?
85
00:05:31,805 --> 00:05:33,915
- Uh, no.
- You sure?
86
00:05:33,935 --> 00:05:37,535
Yeah.
Are you hungry? Margie
cooked up some mean bratwurst.
87
00:05:38,945 --> 00:05:41,855
No, I just had a sandwich.
Thanks.
88
00:05:41,885 --> 00:05:44,255
- Where you from?
- East Great Falls.
89
00:05:44,285 --> 00:05:48,255
East Great Falls.
[ Moaning ]
90
00:05:48,285 --> 00:05:50,785
Slow down, sassy pants.
91
00:05:50,825 --> 00:05:52,795
All right, baby,
I'm trying to have
a conversation.
92
00:05:52,825 --> 00:05:54,985
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
93
00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:58,795
College! Yeah.
Best years of our lives.
94
00:05:58,835 --> 00:06:00,335
Yeah.
Put it up.
95
00:06:02,305 --> 00:06:06,175
Oh, high-- High five.
[ Chuckles ]
96
00:06:06,205 --> 00:06:08,315
- You wanna jump in on this?
- No.
97
00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:10,085
- Come on. Margie loves it.
-No, no, no, Margie.
98
00:06:10,105 --> 00:06:12,845
No. No, no, no. I'm good.
Look, uh--
99
00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:14,905
It was very nice
to meet you,
Bobby and Margie.
100
00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:17,145
Actually, I just came
to change my pants.
101
00:06:17,185 --> 00:06:19,895
I spilled a drink
on it earlier.
102
00:06:19,915 --> 00:06:23,115
- [ Gagging ]
- [ Chuckles ]
Are you role-playing again?
103
00:06:23,155 --> 00:06:26,825
Say the safe word, baby.
Say the safe-- Baby?
104
00:06:26,855 --> 00:06:29,225
Are you choking?
Dude, I-I think she's choking.
105
00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:31,135
- What?
-I think she's choking.
You gotta do something.
106
00:06:31,165 --> 00:06:33,905
-Do something.
-I can't. I'm tied up and basted
like a Thanksgiving turkey.
107
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:37,105
- Hold on.
I'll find the spot.
- Come on.
108
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,265
- Oh.
- Breathe!
109
00:06:39,305 --> 00:06:43,745
What do you want me
to do with all this--
Oh! Erik, no.
110
00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:46,175
- [ Groaning ]
- All right, Son!
111
00:06:46,215 --> 00:06:49,155
Yeah. That's what being
a Stifler's all about.
112
00:06:49,185 --> 00:06:51,955
No, no. She was choking.
That's it.
113
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:53,955
That's how Stiflers do college.
114
00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:56,245
Now, let's just give
these kids some privacy.
115
00:06:56,285 --> 00:07:01,025
Doin' good. Keep it up.
116
00:07:01,055 --> 00:07:04,695
I'm not trying
to freak you out, roomie,
but I just totally came.
117
00:07:04,735 --> 00:07:08,375
[ Chattering ]
118
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:13,665
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
119
00:07:13,705 --> 00:07:17,275
[ Man ]
*A lollipop
And I won't stop *
120
00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:20,205
*Gonna lick that sweetness
121
00:07:20,245 --> 00:07:22,745
* [ Continues ]
122
00:07:22,785 --> 00:07:25,125
[ Beeping ]
123
00:07:34,025 --> 00:07:36,285
Hey, ladies.
Is this where, uh--
124
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:39,355
[ Beeping ]
125
00:07:39,395 --> 00:07:42,025
Laura Johnson
and Sara Coleman live?
126
00:07:42,065 --> 00:07:46,395
Yeah. I'm Laura Johnson,
and this is my roommate Sara.
127
00:07:46,435 --> 00:07:49,735
My name is Dwight Stifler.
I'm here with the freshman
welcoming committee.
128
00:07:49,775 --> 00:07:54,275
I've been given instructions
to escort you ladies on
a guided tour of the campus.
129
00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:56,285
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
130
00:07:56,315 --> 00:07:58,085
Should we wear anything special?
131
00:08:00,415 --> 00:08:02,755
* [ Pop ]
132
00:08:02,785 --> 00:08:05,485
Dude, there is no way
that everybody in this
is a student here.
133
00:08:05,525 --> 00:08:07,965
I'm, like, look--
He's holding her boob.
[ Laughs ]
134
00:08:07,995 --> 00:08:10,335
-He is.
- No, man, they are.
135
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,335
I've had a subscription
for, like, a year.
136
00:08:12,365 --> 00:08:15,075
[ Sniffs ]
Oh, that'll be good.
137
00:08:15,105 --> 00:08:17,475
[ Laughs ]
That's not cologne, man.
138
00:08:17,505 --> 00:08:21,275
I've used that exact issue
more times than I could count.
139
00:08:23,905 --> 00:08:25,905
[ Sniffs ]
You smell pretty.
140
00:08:25,945 --> 00:08:27,885
[ Laughs ]
Mmm.
141
00:08:27,915 --> 00:08:29,985
Ow!
[ Knocking ]
Sorry.
142
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:32,245
That was so uncalled for.
143
00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:36,885
Wow.
144
00:08:36,925 --> 00:08:39,125
Is this Erik Stifler's room?
145
00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:41,025
Yeah.
146
00:08:46,535 --> 00:08:50,275
Welcome to college, boys.
147
00:08:50,305 --> 00:08:52,775
Yeah, no.
I wouldn't lie to you.
I'm dead serious.
148
00:08:52,805 --> 00:08:55,365
Most sororities
won't even give you a bid
unless you've had a threesome.
149
00:08:55,405 --> 00:08:57,475
It shows that you work well
within the group dynamic,
150
00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:59,475
that you're really prepared
for sisterhood.
151
00:08:59,515 --> 00:09:01,455
You know what I'm sayin'?
Really?
152
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,445
Yeah.
Oh, man, who is this guy?
153
00:09:03,485 --> 00:09:06,055
Dude, he's the reason
we came to college here.
154
00:09:06,085 --> 00:09:08,995
* [ Pop ]
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
155
00:09:09,025 --> 00:09:11,195
- Here we are, boys.
-[ Erik ]
Oh, man, she's hot.
156
00:09:11,225 --> 00:09:14,165
- You like that?
- That was awesome.
157
00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:16,935
I like to give
a little bit back
every now and then.
158
00:09:16,965 --> 00:09:20,175
- Hey, hey, shower buddy.
- Oh, hey. Hi.
159
00:09:20,195 --> 00:09:24,065
-Shower buddy?
-Yeah. Erik and I met when
I was showering this afternoon.
160
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,045
- Really?
- Yeah.
161
00:09:27,075 --> 00:09:29,075
Oh, right,
the coed bathrooms.
Yeah.
162
00:09:29,105 --> 00:09:31,975
It took me about
three years to get the board
of trustees to approve that one.
163
00:09:32,015 --> 00:09:35,585
- Worth it.
- Oh, Ashley, Hi. This--
Everyone, this is Ashley.
164
00:09:35,615 --> 00:09:38,485
-Ashley, this is everyone.
-[ Ashley ]
Hi, everybody.
165
00:09:38,515 --> 00:09:42,515
This is my roommate Denise.
She just came here from Georgia.
Hey, y'all.
166
00:09:42,555 --> 00:09:46,565
Oh, well, I do declare.
A real-life Scarlett O'Hara.
167
00:09:46,595 --> 00:09:49,965
- Oh, my.
- You guys aren't
taking off, are you?
168
00:09:49,995 --> 00:09:53,095
Yeah, we're going
to this cocktail mixer at
the Epsilon Sigma Kappa house.
169
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:56,105
Uh, no. No, no, no.
The geek house?
No. Trust me.
170
00:09:56,135 --> 00:09:59,105
I wanna stay, but--
[ Ashley ]
But we promised, so--
171
00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,965
Plus, Ashley thinks
this party is a little bit
dรยฉclassรยฉ.
172
00:10:02,005 --> 00:10:03,935
What, like sleazy?
173
00:10:03,975 --> 00:10:05,905
Hey, how you doin', sweetheart?
Grab a beer.
174
00:10:05,945 --> 00:10:08,155
No, you've got the wrong idea
about this whole thing.
175
00:10:08,185 --> 00:10:11,255
This is just a little
meet-and-greet that I set up...
176
00:10:11,285 --> 00:10:13,255
to sort of, you know,
demonstrate our school spirit,
177
00:10:13,285 --> 00:10:15,285
and our, you know, dedication
to this university.
178
00:10:15,325 --> 00:10:17,325
Beta house fuckin' rules!
179
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:19,885
[ Crowd Cheers ]
180
00:10:19,925 --> 00:10:22,055
- [ Yelling ]
-[ Laughter ]
181
00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:26,925
- Yeah!
- Real classy.
182
00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:30,235
Hmm. Erik, it was really
nice to see you again.
Yeah.
183
00:10:30,265 --> 00:10:33,205
Guys.
Yeah, see ya.
184
00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:36,065
-Bye. Nice to meet you.
- See ya.
185
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:39,135
Hey, Stifler, what's up
with this geek house?
186
00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:42,205
-Yeah, I never even heard of it.
-I know a geek house
sounds harmless,
187
00:10:42,245 --> 00:10:45,945
but they are a nightmare.
188
00:10:45,985 --> 00:10:48,425
[ Dwight Narrating ]
They were a social club
for decades,
189
00:10:48,455 --> 00:10:51,095
until a group of rich geeks
came in and threw
some money around,
190
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,265
built the house
and got a new charter.
191
00:10:53,295 --> 00:10:56,335
- [ Erik ] A geek fraternity?
- [ Dwight ] To get in you need,
like, perfect S.A.T. scores.
192
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,465
Patch that two million
to my Swiss account.
193
00:10:58,495 --> 00:11:00,295
[ Dwight ]
Then they check
your family tree...
194
00:11:00,335 --> 00:11:02,605
and calculate future
earnings potential.
195
00:11:02,635 --> 00:11:06,475
No, I said buy at 60,
not sell at 60.
You're fucking fired!
196
00:11:06,505 --> 00:11:09,375
[ Dwight ]
They got billionaire alumni,
Hey, it's only 100 grand.
197
00:11:09,405 --> 00:11:12,405
They run the student government,
198
00:11:12,445 --> 00:11:15,215
and the faculty loves 'em.
199
00:11:15,245 --> 00:11:17,315
But, uh, don't even
get me started on the women.
200
00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:20,245
They attract the hottest women
from the entire school.
201
00:11:22,385 --> 00:11:25,985
[ Erik ]
Who wants to hang out
with a house full of geeks?
202
00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:28,335
[ Dwight ]
It's a new world out there.
203
00:11:28,365 --> 00:11:30,335
These women realize
that the geeks...
204
00:11:30,365 --> 00:11:33,275
are gonna be the millionaires
right out of school.
205
00:11:33,295 --> 00:11:38,035
They've just adjusted
their nesting habits.
206
00:11:38,075 --> 00:11:40,375
Hey, don't sweat it.
Beta's still where
the party's at, right?
207
00:11:40,405 --> 00:11:44,205
Oh! Look out. Stifler--
208
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,055
The judging's about to begin.
All right.
209
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:50,055
Judging?
210
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:53,055
* [ Dance ]
[ Crowd Roaring ]
211
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:02,565
Aw, the Beta house
never disappoints.
212
00:12:02,595 --> 00:12:07,205
Are you serious?
It's always like this?
All the time.
213
00:12:07,235 --> 00:12:10,075
-These girls are ridiculous!
- Ridiculous!
214
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:11,975
Get the clip board.
215
00:12:15,345 --> 00:12:18,085
Whoo.
216
00:12:18,115 --> 00:12:21,185
Sweetie, you are naughty.
I am keeping you after class.
217
00:12:21,215 --> 00:12:27,155
Bring that ruler.
I have also been bad.
218
00:12:27,185 --> 00:12:29,685
And this one over here
has got great abs.
219
00:12:29,725 --> 00:12:32,325
They look like
fresh buttered rolls
right out of the oven.
220
00:12:32,355 --> 00:12:34,125
Great!
This is the best idea
I've ever had!
221
00:12:37,765 --> 00:12:40,075
This is a chicken scratch.
You're a caveman.
222
00:12:40,095 --> 00:12:42,295
Oh!
223
00:12:42,335 --> 00:12:45,005
[ Crowd Cheering ]
224
00:12:49,775 --> 00:12:52,985
She's pullin' 'em out.
She's pullin' 'em out!
225
00:12:57,045 --> 00:12:58,975
[ Together ]
Perfect tits!
226
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,655
Whoo!
Whoo!
227
00:13:03,685 --> 00:13:05,585
Beta!
Come on!
228
00:13:08,425 --> 00:13:13,325
Ladies and gentlemen,
depravity is haunting
this university.
229
00:13:13,365 --> 00:13:16,465
Sex, alcohol, vulgarity,
230
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,605
stupidity.
231
00:13:18,635 --> 00:13:22,365
Once this was a respected
institution of higher learning.
232
00:13:22,405 --> 00:13:25,735
We are declaring
a new age at
this university--
233
00:13:25,775 --> 00:13:29,575
An age in which a student's
worth is no longer measured
by his blood alcohol level,
234
00:13:29,615 --> 00:13:32,485
but rather, his G.P.A.
235
00:13:32,515 --> 00:13:35,445
We formed this fraternity
to change the way...
236
00:13:35,485 --> 00:13:37,755
geeks are thought of
in this country.
237
00:13:37,785 --> 00:13:42,125
But, as history has proven,
238
00:13:42,165 --> 00:13:45,205
for a new civilization
to emerge,
239
00:13:45,235 --> 00:13:48,735
another must crumble.
[ Blows ]
240
00:13:50,465 --> 00:13:53,765
We must destroy the Betas.
241
00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:56,535
* [ Dance ]
[ Chattering ]
242
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,575
Hey, Stacy.
243
00:14:02,615 --> 00:14:06,325
My hands are wet.
I can't get this beer open.
Will you do it for me?
244
00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:10,385
[ Cheering ]
245
00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:14,595
Thanks. Those Kegel
muscle exercises are really
payin' off, huh?
246
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:17,855
So what do we have to do
to become Betas?
247
00:14:17,895 --> 00:14:20,195
Uh, well, obviously
you guys are cool with me.
248
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:23,175
What you need to do is impress
the rush chair, Wesley.
Have you guys met Wesley?
249
00:14:23,205 --> 00:14:25,205
[ Both ]
Uh-huh.
You haven't? All right.
250
00:14:25,235 --> 00:14:27,135
He's in the other room.
Come on. I'll introduce you.
Follow me.
251
00:14:27,175 --> 00:14:29,715
* [ Piano:Fu%r Elise]
252
00:14:33,345 --> 00:14:35,205
Don't be fooled
by his appearance.
253
00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:38,415
His nickname is
the Blackout Menace.
254
00:14:38,455 --> 00:14:41,625
He's a perfect student
except for his habit of
getting belligerently drunk,
255
00:14:41,655 --> 00:14:44,325
blacking out, causing
complete and total mayhem,
256
00:14:44,355 --> 00:14:46,415
and never remembering
a thing.
257
00:14:46,455 --> 00:14:48,555
[ Jet Engines Whining ]
258
00:14:52,165 --> 00:14:53,805
[ Bell Dings ]
259
00:14:57,405 --> 00:15:00,245
Uh, excuse me.
260
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:03,145
- Where is this plane going to?
- Detroit.
261
00:15:03,175 --> 00:15:05,135
[ Exhales ]
262
00:15:05,175 --> 00:15:08,445
[ Laughing ]
Thank God.
263
00:15:08,485 --> 00:15:12,155
Uh, excuse me.
Where is it coming from?
264
00:15:12,185 --> 00:15:14,195
- Bangkok.
- [ Muttering ]
265
00:15:16,425 --> 00:15:18,565
Whose kid is that?
Yours.
266
00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:22,395
You adopted him yesterday.
Congratulations.
267
00:15:24,695 --> 00:15:26,595
Hey, buddy.
268
00:15:28,335 --> 00:15:30,775
Are you serious?
269
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:34,275
Yep. Just dropped Sung Lee off
at their embassy this last week.
270
00:15:34,305 --> 00:15:37,705
Kid nearly caused
an international incident.
271
00:15:37,745 --> 00:15:39,745
Wesley.
272
00:15:39,775 --> 00:15:41,875
Sorry to interrupt.
273
00:15:41,915 --> 00:15:46,225
- Wesley, this is my cousin
and his buddies.
- Hi.
274
00:15:46,255 --> 00:15:47,955
Uh, Erik, right?
Yeah.
275
00:15:47,985 --> 00:15:50,815
Mike Coozeman.
How come we didn't
see you last year?
276
00:15:50,855 --> 00:15:54,755
I was in a Mexican jail.
I had to tunnel my way out,
277
00:15:54,795 --> 00:15:56,895
but I made it back
in time for finals,
278
00:15:56,925 --> 00:16:00,565
which is what we're
all about here at Beta--
education.
279
00:16:00,595 --> 00:16:03,265
- Right.
- You wanna dance?
280
00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:04,805
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
281
00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:07,365
Let's get sexy.
282
00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:09,605
[ Whistling ]
Hey.
283
00:16:09,645 --> 00:16:12,315
You ready?
There's 100 hot,
horny chicks here tonight.
284
00:16:12,345 --> 00:16:14,285
Countin' on you.
285
00:16:14,315 --> 00:16:16,615
* [ Hip-hop ]
286
00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:18,775
[ Man ]
*When it's time
for underground flavor *
287
00:16:18,815 --> 00:16:20,645
*Hip-hop make you change
your behavior *
288
00:16:20,685 --> 00:16:23,715
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
289
00:16:32,895 --> 00:16:35,565
Get some, baby.
Get some.
290
00:16:46,045 --> 00:16:48,615
* [ Jazz ]
291
00:16:50,545 --> 00:16:54,415
*Call me irresponsible
292
00:16:54,455 --> 00:16:58,325
*Call me unreliable
293
00:16:58,355 --> 00:17:02,285
*Throw in undependable too
You've gotta be kidding.
294
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,555
[ Pounds On Keyboard ]
Are you gonna
start drinking?
295
00:17:04,595 --> 00:17:07,295
Because I desperately
need a wingman.
296
00:17:07,335 --> 00:17:10,275
I'm not drinking tonight, Bull.
I had a rough night last week.
297
00:17:10,305 --> 00:17:12,405
Oh, really?
298
00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:14,865
Really? That's fine.
299
00:17:14,905 --> 00:17:17,035
Because then I just might
have to tell these
fine young ladies...
300
00:17:17,075 --> 00:17:19,445
about a certain
frat boy and a...
301
00:17:19,475 --> 00:17:21,745
- Mexican transvestite.
- All right, all right,
all right.
302
00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:25,875
[ Girls Murmuring ]
One drink.
303
00:17:25,915 --> 00:17:27,445
Yeah. Just one.
[ Sniffs ]
304
00:17:34,725 --> 00:17:37,555
* [ Pop ]
305
00:17:39,495 --> 00:17:41,995
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
306
00:17:47,575 --> 00:17:50,585
Hey. What the hell's
with you, man?
307
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:54,405
Can you not see
all this prime ass
a foot from your face?
308
00:17:54,445 --> 00:17:56,445
Yeah, man, I see it.
It's-- It's pretty cool.
309
00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:59,325
Yeah, it's cool.
You should be
tearin' it up.
310
00:17:59,355 --> 00:18:01,855
You guys, it's just--
Remember last year
we came up here?
311
00:18:01,885 --> 00:18:06,055
I had the time of my life.
I did stuff I never would have
dreamed I would have ever done.
312
00:18:06,095 --> 00:18:08,065
I kind of figured
it would change me.
313
00:18:08,095 --> 00:18:11,035
Yes, okay.
So you got drunk
and you ran naked, right?
314
00:18:11,065 --> 00:18:13,435
But you blew it
with a really hot
sorority chick...
315
00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,595
to run home and have sex
with your little girlfriend.
316
00:18:15,635 --> 00:18:18,805
That might have won you
points in high school,
but this isn't high school.
317
00:18:18,835 --> 00:18:22,365
- No.
- I guess you guys are right.
318
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,905
College is your one chance
to start over. You get to
hit the reset button on life.
319
00:18:25,945 --> 00:18:27,885
You can be anybody
you wanna be.
320
00:18:27,915 --> 00:18:29,555
I never thought of it
like that before.
321
00:18:29,585 --> 00:18:32,885
Yeah. Here. Slug that.
322
00:18:35,785 --> 00:18:38,715
- Attaboy.
Julie, this is my cousin Erik.
- [ Woman ] Hi, Erik.
323
00:18:38,755 --> 00:18:41,585
I just wanted you to know,
Erik voted for you
in the hottie contest,
324
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,955
and since he's, like,
the ladies' man
of the family,
325
00:18:43,995 --> 00:18:47,565
I totally trust
his taste.
Thanks, cutie.
326
00:18:47,595 --> 00:18:50,995
You wanna dance, gorgeous?
I'd love to.
327
00:18:51,035 --> 00:18:54,535
Anybody you wanna be.
[ Mouthing Words ]
328
00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:58,485
[ Man ]
*Groove, groove, groove
329
00:18:58,515 --> 00:19:00,485
*To the music
330
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,515
*Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
331
00:19:02,545 --> 00:19:04,775
*To the music
332
00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:06,875
Wow. you can really
put that away.
333
00:19:06,915 --> 00:19:09,945
Kiddin' me?
This stuff is
like water to me.
334
00:19:09,985 --> 00:19:12,385
*To the music--
335
00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:16,535
* [ Ends ]
[ Crowd Clamoring ]
336
00:19:16,565 --> 00:19:18,665
Hey, hey.
Everybody settle down
for a second.
337
00:19:18,695 --> 00:19:20,965
We're just having
a little minor
technical glitch.
338
00:19:20,995 --> 00:19:23,065
No big deal.
We'll get everything
fixed up in a minute.
339
00:19:23,105 --> 00:19:25,075
[ Man Laughs ]
340
00:19:25,105 --> 00:19:27,515
I don't think so, Stifler.
341
00:19:27,535 --> 00:19:30,675
You see, you overloaded
your prehistoric circuits.
342
00:19:30,705 --> 00:19:32,705
I'm afraid your music
won't be coming on...
343
00:19:32,745 --> 00:19:35,685
for the rest of the night.
Don't-Don't listen to him.
344
00:19:35,715 --> 00:19:37,925
We'll get everything
fixed in a minute.
That won't matter.
345
00:19:37,945 --> 00:19:41,915
Because by Jake's calculations,
based on the amount of kegs
and liquor you bought,
346
00:19:41,955 --> 00:19:45,625
you should be running out
just about... now.
347
00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:49,155
- Bullshit.
- [ Sobbing ]
The fucking kegs are dry.
348
00:19:49,195 --> 00:19:53,035
[ Crowd Clamoring ]
We're out of fucking booze!
349
00:19:53,065 --> 00:19:56,505
- Aah!
- [ Groaning ]
350
00:19:56,535 --> 00:19:59,945
Settle down. It's fine.
We'll make a beer run.
They could do that.
351
00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:02,145
Or you can all come
to the geek house,
352
00:20:02,175 --> 00:20:05,145
where we have enough liquor
to last a week, along with...
353
00:20:05,175 --> 00:20:08,205
all the champagne
you can drink.
354
00:20:08,245 --> 00:20:11,945
We also have a heated pool,
and enough swimsuits
for everyone.
355
00:20:11,985 --> 00:20:15,055
That is, if you even
want to wear one.
356
00:20:15,085 --> 00:20:17,915
[ Cheering ]
[ Screams ]
357
00:20:20,055 --> 00:20:22,525
Are you fucking kidding me?
358
00:20:22,565 --> 00:20:25,665
It's your choice, people.
Stay here and get puked on--
359
00:20:25,695 --> 00:20:27,465
Okay, I'm out of here.
I'm so sorry.
360
00:20:27,495 --> 00:20:30,025
Or come party V.I.P. style.
361
00:20:30,065 --> 00:20:32,435
[ Cheering ]
362
00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:41,775
* [ Rock ]
363
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:44,855
Fuckin' Edgar.
[ Growls ]
364
00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:48,655
Prick really knows how
to throw that money around, huh?
365
00:20:48,685 --> 00:20:51,615
Oh, yeah.
Probably doesn't help
that numb nuts here...
366
00:20:51,655 --> 00:20:54,255
barfed all over
the chicks, either.
367
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,235
I'm sorry about that.
368
00:20:56,265 --> 00:20:59,965
- You look disgusting.
-[ Groaning ]
369
00:20:59,995 --> 00:21:03,995
- Cryin' out loud, man.
- I'll clean it up.
370
00:21:06,905 --> 00:21:08,845
[ Groaning ]
371
00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:14,205
Not again.
372
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:20,185
Mmm. Mornin', sexy.
373
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:24,815
Some party, huh?
374
00:21:24,855 --> 00:21:27,085
Hey, baby.
How you doin'?
375
00:21:28,895 --> 00:21:31,065
No. No, no, no.
376
00:21:31,095 --> 00:21:33,965
* [ Man Singing In Spanish ]
377
00:21:33,995 --> 00:21:36,265
How you feelin' there, Cuz?
378
00:21:36,305 --> 00:21:39,805
A lot better. Thanks.
379
00:21:39,835 --> 00:21:42,165
No need for thanks.
We're family.
Right now I gotta run.
380
00:21:42,205 --> 00:21:45,875
I gotta go down to the basement,
take care of some
official Beta business.
381
00:21:45,915 --> 00:21:49,085
- Have some of Peaches' eggs.
- Okay.
382
00:21:49,115 --> 00:21:51,885
All right. Thanks, Peaches.
Adios, guapo.
383
00:21:51,915 --> 00:21:55,115
[ Dwight ]
Oh, buddy.
384
00:21:55,155 --> 00:21:57,725
[ Laughs ]
[ Man ]
Whoo!
385
00:21:57,755 --> 00:21:59,985
I love this place.
Attaboy.
386
00:22:00,025 --> 00:22:02,165
Off the hook.
So, uh-- So, guys.
387
00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:04,205
The hard-on champ
is in?
Yeah.
388
00:22:04,225 --> 00:22:06,125
Aye, aye.
Yeah.
389
00:22:08,965 --> 00:22:12,095
* [ Dance ]
[ Dwight ]
Yeah. I love this guy.
390
00:22:12,135 --> 00:22:15,105
Beta! I love Beta!
[ Laughter ]
391
00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:17,035
[ Man ]
He had the best rack
at the party.
392
00:22:17,075 --> 00:22:19,715
Fuckin' love Beta, man!
393
00:22:19,745 --> 00:22:21,715
[ Laughter ]
Shut up. Shut up.
394
00:22:21,745 --> 00:22:24,275
Everyone calm down.
I told you I didn't
want to drink.
395
00:22:24,315 --> 00:22:26,845
Look how the pig squeals.
Look how the pig squeals.
396
00:22:26,885 --> 00:22:28,855
All in favor
of Bobby Coolidge.
397
00:22:28,885 --> 00:22:31,155
- Man, oh, yeah.
- He's in.
398
00:22:34,025 --> 00:22:36,185
[ Dwight ]
All right, all right.
399
00:22:36,225 --> 00:22:38,795
[ Man ] Oh!
[ Man #2 ]
Jesus, man.
400
00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:43,905
Whoo!
[ Wesley ] This guy really
knows how to work a room.
401
00:22:43,935 --> 00:22:46,065
Give him a bid.
He'll be a pussy magnet,
buddy.
402
00:22:46,105 --> 00:22:49,275
Yeah!
[ Laughs ]
403
00:22:49,305 --> 00:22:52,735
[ Screams ]
[ Man, Laughing ]
Oh, no.
404
00:22:52,775 --> 00:22:56,275
[ Dwight ]
All right, that's my cousin.
Take it easy.
405
00:22:56,315 --> 00:22:58,285
No offense,
brother, okay?
406
00:22:58,315 --> 00:23:01,315
But I don't know
if your cousin is up
for the challenge, man.
407
00:23:01,355 --> 00:23:04,065
I'm with Bull on this one.
408
00:23:04,085 --> 00:23:07,055
I mean, he's a nice kid,
but he passed up sleeping
with Brandy, man.
409
00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:09,635
All right, all right,
all right.
410
00:23:09,665 --> 00:23:12,935
Look, I know Erik missed
his big chance to, like,
sleep with the one girl...
411
00:23:12,965 --> 00:23:14,905
that I'm assuming
everybody would lop off
your left nut to bang.
412
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,205
Am I right?
[ Bull ]
Two nuts.
413
00:23:17,235 --> 00:23:20,075
- All right, does that mean
he's not Beta material?
-[ Betas ] Yes!
414
00:23:20,105 --> 00:23:24,345
He was young and dumb
and in love. He's a--
He's a late bloomer.
415
00:23:24,375 --> 00:23:26,805
I think he's gonna
surprise you this semester.
416
00:23:26,845 --> 00:23:29,055
And anyway, he's a legacy,
so he's automatically
gettin' a bid,
417
00:23:29,085 --> 00:23:31,155
so you can all fuck off.
418
00:23:31,185 --> 00:23:34,095
Aye?
Yeah.
Aye, aye.
419
00:23:34,115 --> 00:23:37,145
[ Dwight ]
Yeah, that's what
I thought, bitches.
420
00:23:37,185 --> 00:23:39,615
[ Toilet Flushes ]
421
00:23:42,925 --> 00:23:46,395
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
422
00:23:46,435 --> 00:23:51,805
- We have to stop
meeting like this.
- [ Chuckling ] Yeah.
423
00:23:51,835 --> 00:23:54,805
Are you okay?
Yeah. I just had
a really rough night.
424
00:23:54,835 --> 00:23:57,875
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
425
00:23:57,905 --> 00:24:00,675
You know, I think
Denise has a crush
on your friend Cooze.
426
00:24:00,715 --> 00:24:03,015
She thinks he's sweet.
[ Laughs ]
427
00:24:03,045 --> 00:24:05,845
- Denise thinks
Cooze is sweet.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
428
00:24:09,085 --> 00:24:11,385
Uh--
429
00:24:11,425 --> 00:24:13,395
Wait. Ashley--
Erik, I--
430
00:24:13,425 --> 00:24:15,965
-I've been thinking--
- I'm just thinking. Do--
431
00:24:15,995 --> 00:24:19,705
- Do you wanna go
out with me once?
- Yeah.
432
00:24:19,735 --> 00:24:23,035
- Really?
- Yeah. That would be
really nice.
433
00:24:23,065 --> 00:24:26,095
Okay. Keep, uh--
You have really
pretty teeth, by the way.
434
00:24:27,275 --> 00:24:30,075
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
435
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:35,385
[ Alarm Bell Ringing ]
436
00:24:39,855 --> 00:24:42,155
-[ Ringing Continues ]
- [ Clamoring ]
437
00:24:42,185 --> 00:24:45,215
What's goin' on?
Oh, man. This sucks.
438
00:24:45,255 --> 00:24:48,885
Hey, guys, don't go that way.
This way is quicker.
439
00:24:48,925 --> 00:24:52,355
[ Yawns ]
I was just dreamin'
about this great sandwich.
440
00:24:52,395 --> 00:24:56,225
[ Groaning ]
441
00:24:56,265 --> 00:24:58,995
[ Groans ]
Wait a second.
Where are we?
442
00:24:59,035 --> 00:25:01,065
I don't see
any sandwiches here.
443
00:25:01,105 --> 00:25:05,235
Hey, guys.
You wanna see something?
444
00:25:05,275 --> 00:25:08,275
- [ Gasps ]
-[ Cooze ]
Yes.
445
00:25:08,315 --> 00:25:11,485
That is--
[ Sizzling ]
[ All Groan ]
446
00:25:25,165 --> 00:25:28,205
Gentlemen,
447
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:30,945
today is the first day
of the rest of your lives.
448
00:25:30,965 --> 00:25:36,265
You are the select few
who have been chosen
to pledge the Beta house.
449
00:25:36,305 --> 00:25:38,375
Beta, baby!
450
00:25:41,215 --> 00:25:44,255
Now, most fraternities
do the pledging thing...
451
00:25:44,285 --> 00:25:46,325
a little bit differently
than we do.
452
00:25:46,355 --> 00:25:48,495
Most pledging
consists of...
453
00:25:48,515 --> 00:25:52,555
hate-filled mental
and physical hazing
designed to break you down.
454
00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:56,485
But here at Beta,
I, Dwight Stifler,
your pledge master,
455
00:25:56,525 --> 00:25:59,955
have devised an elaborate
scientific plan...
456
00:25:59,995 --> 00:26:03,295
to build teamwork
and brotherhood.
457
00:26:04,405 --> 00:26:06,405
Gentlemen, I give you...
458
00:26:06,435 --> 00:26:08,565
your pledge board.
459
00:26:08,605 --> 00:26:11,505
[ Murmuring ]
460
00:26:11,545 --> 00:26:14,155
- It's huge.
-On this pledge board
are 50 tasks...
461
00:26:14,175 --> 00:26:16,045
that you and your
pledge brothers
must complete...
462
00:26:16,085 --> 00:26:18,425
by semester's end
if you wanna become Betas.
463
00:26:18,445 --> 00:26:21,085
To start things off,
464
00:26:21,115 --> 00:26:24,985
I say we begin
with my personal favorite--
Number 37.
465
00:26:25,025 --> 00:26:27,095
[ Man ]
*Put your hands up like
466
00:26:27,125 --> 00:26:29,835
*Do it how you do it
when you *
467
00:26:29,865 --> 00:26:32,305
*Uh, uh, uh, yeah
468
00:26:32,325 --> 00:26:34,365
*Put your hands up here
Put 'em, put 'em high-- *
469
00:26:34,395 --> 00:26:36,995
Okay, so here's the lowdown.
470
00:26:37,035 --> 00:26:40,545
One of you has got to get
you ass signed by a stripper,
with photo proof.
471
00:26:40,575 --> 00:26:43,015
All right?
472
00:26:43,045 --> 00:26:45,485
All right, we're gonna
go get a drink. Wesley?
473
00:26:45,505 --> 00:26:50,145
Don'tbother us.
474
00:26:50,185 --> 00:26:53,625
- Okay, who's gonna try
and do this?
-* [ Continues ]
475
00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:56,355
Oh, you guys, Igotthis.
476
00:26:56,385 --> 00:26:58,415
Who's got a pen?
Ah. That'll do.
477
00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:04,255
Hey, baby, how's about
signin' my ass
while I'm up here?
478
00:27:10,565 --> 00:27:13,065
- Whoa!
- [ Clamoring ]
479
00:27:13,105 --> 00:27:15,175
She got Cooze!
We gotta help him.
Bobby.
480
00:27:15,205 --> 00:27:18,835
- [ Groans ]
- Ooh! Down goes fatty.
481
00:27:20,915 --> 00:27:22,885
Stripper brawl!
482
00:27:24,315 --> 00:27:28,385
* [ Hard Rock ]
483
00:27:28,415 --> 00:27:30,485
Ooh! Cousin got clothes-lined.
That's a shame.
484
00:27:32,025 --> 00:27:34,565
[ Grunts ]
485
00:27:34,595 --> 00:27:36,535
That's gonna leave
a big bruise.
486
00:27:41,635 --> 00:27:43,575
Those girls
are wild tonight.
487
00:27:46,205 --> 00:27:48,945
I used to fuck
girls like you in prison.
488
00:27:48,975 --> 00:27:51,315
[ Groans ]
489
00:27:51,345 --> 00:27:54,015
Oh, I love
a good stripper brawl.
490
00:27:54,045 --> 00:27:56,305
Who doesn't?
491
00:27:56,345 --> 00:28:00,075
-[ Cooze ]
She started it.
- Here's your fuckin' shoe!
492
00:28:00,115 --> 00:28:03,385
What? I didn't do anything.
You charged that stripper
with a pen,
493
00:28:03,425 --> 00:28:06,295
like you were gonna
shove it in her ass.
494
00:28:06,325 --> 00:28:08,395
If her panties had smelled
like waffles you'd have done
something about it.
495
00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,525
Guys, shut up.
Shut up.
[ Chattering ]
496
00:28:10,565 --> 00:28:12,965
Fat idiot.
Ow!
497
00:28:12,995 --> 00:28:14,995
There you go. See?
Bad things happen to--
Hey there, gorgeous.
498
00:28:15,035 --> 00:28:18,205
You work here?
Yeah, sweetie.
499
00:28:18,235 --> 00:28:20,365
You see, we're pledging
the Beta house right now,
500
00:28:20,405 --> 00:28:22,275
and one of our tasks
is to get our ass signed...
501
00:28:22,305 --> 00:28:24,675
by a strip--
professional dancer...
502
00:28:24,705 --> 00:28:27,105
like yourself.
503
00:28:27,145 --> 00:28:30,455
So I was just, you know,
wondering if maybe
you'd do me the honor.
504
00:28:30,485 --> 00:28:33,085
That's a different approach
than the boys usually take
in this place.
505
00:28:33,115 --> 00:28:35,185
Bend over.
506
00:28:35,215 --> 00:28:38,285
Thanks.
My name's Erik Stifler,
by the way.
507
00:28:38,325 --> 00:28:41,065
Can I get a shot
for the yearbook?
508
00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:44,035
[ Chuckles ]
[ Camera Beeps ]
509
00:28:44,065 --> 00:28:47,635
-[ Bobby ] Nice smile.
- You any relation
to Dwight Stifler?
510
00:28:47,665 --> 00:28:50,135
- He's my cousin.
- Hey, Stifler.
511
00:28:50,165 --> 00:28:53,235
Candy, how are you, sweetheart?
Good to see you.
512
00:28:53,275 --> 00:28:55,645
I can see where
he gets his charm from.
513
00:28:55,675 --> 00:28:59,185
You come
see me soon, okay?
You know I will.
514
00:28:59,215 --> 00:29:04,425
All right, boys.
Hey, congratulations.
Task 37 in the bag.
515
00:29:04,445 --> 00:29:08,215
Good job, boys.
That's our first task completed.
516
00:29:08,255 --> 00:29:11,225
I think that
stripper's implant
broke my face.
517
00:29:22,565 --> 00:29:25,165
- Task 15 is go.
- [ Honking ]
518
00:29:30,075 --> 00:29:33,045
- Steal an ostrich.
- Have sex in the dean's office.
519
00:29:33,075 --> 00:29:36,145
-Serenade a woman at the 901.
- Drink a gallon of milk
without pissing.
520
00:29:36,185 --> 00:29:39,425
- Do a traditional dance
at the International Club.
- Open an illegal casino.
521
00:29:39,455 --> 00:29:41,225
Drive down to Mexico
and get a tattoo.
522
00:29:41,255 --> 00:29:44,065
Get so drunk
you piss your pants.
523
00:30:02,535 --> 00:30:05,405
* [ Classical ]
524
00:30:17,755 --> 00:30:21,465
- Sweet Caesar's ghost.
- [ Honks ]
525
00:30:21,495 --> 00:30:23,495
- [ Honking ]
- [ Screaming ]
526
00:30:27,265 --> 00:30:30,375
Fifteen-- check.
Check.
527
00:30:30,405 --> 00:30:32,545
Sixteen-- check.
528
00:30:32,565 --> 00:30:35,165
[ Speaking
Foreign Language ]
529
00:30:41,245 --> 00:30:44,075
Mmm.
530
00:30:44,115 --> 00:30:47,075
Hmm!
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
531
00:30:52,555 --> 00:30:54,725
Who's that guy?
He's my Swahili instructor.
532
00:30:54,755 --> 00:30:56,685
I have my proficiency exam
next week.
533
00:30:56,725 --> 00:30:59,355
Nice.
Yeah.
534
00:30:59,395 --> 00:31:02,425
Hey, what's--
What's this golden hammer
doing in here?
535
00:31:02,465 --> 00:31:04,665
Uh, it's from
the Greek Olympiad.
536
00:31:04,705 --> 00:31:06,805
It was, like, a series
of competitions...
537
00:31:06,835 --> 00:31:08,805
involving skill
and deviant behavior.
538
00:31:08,835 --> 00:31:11,675
They got really out of hand,
so the university banned
them for life.
539
00:31:11,705 --> 00:31:13,435
The Betas were legendary
at 'em though.
We never lost.
540
00:31:13,475 --> 00:31:15,505
Cool.
Yeah.
541
00:31:15,545 --> 00:31:17,545
Oh, and remember, Erik--
542
00:31:19,685 --> 00:31:22,455
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
543
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:28,195
Hmm?
Yeah. Yeah.
544
00:31:28,225 --> 00:31:30,255
[ Sniffs ]
545
00:31:31,465 --> 00:31:33,335
Swahili.
546
00:31:33,365 --> 00:31:35,535
* [ Rock ]
547
00:31:35,565 --> 00:31:38,195
[ Erik ]
This place is swell, isn't it?
[ Ashley ] Yeah.
548
00:31:38,235 --> 00:31:41,235
Look how juicy.
Sucking the crab.
549
00:31:41,275 --> 00:31:42,875
Wow.
This place is fun.
550
00:31:42,905 --> 00:31:45,235
Yeah. Yeah, this place
is awesome.
551
00:31:45,275 --> 00:31:49,145
I thought you'd
like it here, you know?
552
00:31:49,185 --> 00:31:51,455
- I like this mallet.
- [ Groans ]
553
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:53,455
[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
554
00:31:53,485 --> 00:31:55,595
Mmm.
Here.
555
00:31:55,615 --> 00:31:58,515
It's all right.
Doesn't really
taste that bad.
556
00:31:58,555 --> 00:32:00,755
[ Laughing ]
Dude, I'm telling you--
557
00:32:00,795 --> 00:32:02,795
This chick
can't get enough of me.
558
00:32:02,825 --> 00:32:05,255
I did her again last night.
559
00:32:05,295 --> 00:32:07,455
I can't believe that.
You're the man.
560
00:32:07,495 --> 00:32:09,665
I think I know that girl.
561
00:32:09,705 --> 00:32:12,275
You know, not all frat guys
are like those guys.
I know.
562
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:14,445
I guess I just have
a jaded opinion.
563
00:32:14,475 --> 00:32:16,675
Really? Why's that?
564
00:32:16,705 --> 00:32:18,775
It's just the typical story.
565
00:32:18,805 --> 00:32:20,775
Boy meets girl.
Boy goes off to college,
joins a frat.
566
00:32:20,815 --> 00:32:23,455
Starts sleeping
with every girl he can.
567
00:32:23,485 --> 00:32:25,925
Girl finds out
and dumps his ass
during winter break.
568
00:32:25,945 --> 00:32:30,245
- Ooh.
- But that was high school.
I'm much older and wiser now.
569
00:32:30,285 --> 00:32:33,715
Right. Older and wiser, and...
you're on a date with a guy
who's pledging a frat.
570
00:32:33,755 --> 00:32:36,685
I know.
And I'm watching you.
571
00:32:36,725 --> 00:32:38,425
Dine and ditch.
Yeah.
572
00:32:38,465 --> 00:32:39,965
[ Erik ]
Yeah, it's one of my favorite--
573
00:32:39,995 --> 00:32:42,895
Ow!
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
574
00:32:42,935 --> 00:32:45,675
Ooh, it's hot.
A little help here.
575
00:32:45,705 --> 00:32:48,375
* [ Soft Rock ]
576
00:32:50,675 --> 00:32:54,285
You are just the sweetest.
577
00:32:54,315 --> 00:32:56,385
You just bring it
out in me, babe.
578
00:32:58,415 --> 00:33:00,475
[ Man ]
*I was captured
the moment we met *
579
00:33:00,515 --> 00:33:02,515
- Perfect.
- Yeah?
580
00:33:04,785 --> 00:33:07,515
Um-- Careful.
581
00:33:07,555 --> 00:33:10,785
My feet are real sensitive.
Really?
582
00:33:10,825 --> 00:33:12,595
Yeah.
583
00:33:12,625 --> 00:33:17,765
*By the way
Just in case you care *
584
00:33:17,805 --> 00:33:20,845
-*I took a dive
in your deep blue eyes *
- Oh, my.
585
00:33:20,875 --> 00:33:23,245
*Never comin' up for air
586
00:33:23,275 --> 00:33:25,315
- I love foot massages.
-*I lost myself
587
00:33:25,345 --> 00:33:27,785
* [ Continues ]
[ Moans ]
588
00:33:29,315 --> 00:33:31,885
Oh, my. Oh, my.
589
00:33:34,515 --> 00:33:36,915
*One sweet kiss
took away my breath *
590
00:33:36,955 --> 00:33:40,625
*And you drew me in
with your tenderness *
591
00:33:40,655 --> 00:33:44,455
* [ Continues ]
Um, I can't.
592
00:33:51,805 --> 00:33:53,945
I'm sorry.
593
00:33:53,975 --> 00:33:57,715
No, that's cool.
It's totally fine. Really.
594
00:33:58,775 --> 00:34:01,905
Here.
595
00:34:01,945 --> 00:34:04,975
Let me just
take care of you.
596
00:34:05,015 --> 00:34:07,915
Okay.
597
00:34:07,955 --> 00:34:09,955
[ Laughs ]
Whoo.
598
00:34:12,025 --> 00:34:13,925
*Whenever I feel your touch
599
00:34:15,555 --> 00:34:17,625
*Whenever I'm with you
600
00:34:17,665 --> 00:34:19,935
You like that?
God, yeah.
601
00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:22,475
You do that almost as good
as I do.
602
00:34:27,905 --> 00:34:31,485
* [ Woman Singing Ballad ]
603
00:34:31,505 --> 00:34:33,535
How you feelin'?
604
00:34:33,575 --> 00:34:36,545
Hi. Good. Thanks.
605
00:34:36,585 --> 00:34:38,725
Here. Let me see.
Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
606
00:34:38,745 --> 00:34:40,875
Ashley, you really don't
need to do anything.
Oh, my God, Erik.
607
00:34:40,915 --> 00:34:43,785
- You have to put something
on that.
- No, it's a little red--
608
00:34:43,825 --> 00:34:46,465
Here. Let me.
609
00:34:48,555 --> 00:34:50,625
It's really not necessary.
610
00:34:50,665 --> 00:34:52,505
[ Inhales ]
Ooh.
611
00:34:52,525 --> 00:34:54,565
Does it hurt?
612
00:34:54,595 --> 00:34:56,595
No. It's just really cold.
613
00:34:57,605 --> 00:35:00,375
Does that feel better?
614
00:35:00,405 --> 00:35:03,375
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
615
00:35:03,405 --> 00:35:06,105
Wow.
[ Laughs ]
616
00:35:06,145 --> 00:35:09,115
Oh, man.
I didn't even touch it.
617
00:35:09,145 --> 00:35:12,515
No, it's no big deal.
I guess I should just take it
as a compliment, right?
618
00:35:12,545 --> 00:35:14,745
I'm sorry. Yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's cool.
619
00:35:17,025 --> 00:35:19,865
Wow. That cream feels good.
620
00:35:19,895 --> 00:35:23,495
Ash, you might want to--
Just relax.
621
00:35:23,525 --> 00:35:25,525
It's still hot.
622
00:35:28,965 --> 00:35:31,765
[ Moaning ]
God.
623
00:35:39,075 --> 00:35:40,935
[ Moans ]
624
00:35:42,145 --> 00:35:44,515
[ Moans ]
625
00:35:53,525 --> 00:35:55,935
Oh, my God! Mr. Biggles!
626
00:36:05,935 --> 00:36:09,135
This is really,
really embarrassing.
No, it's okay. It's okay.
627
00:36:09,175 --> 00:36:12,585
I just haven't seen
anything like that.
628
00:36:12,605 --> 00:36:15,105
Well, I was a virgin
until last year,
629
00:36:15,145 --> 00:36:20,015
and then my girlfriend
dumped me about four months ago.
630
00:36:21,155 --> 00:36:23,655
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
631
00:36:23,685 --> 00:36:26,415
Are you telling me
that you haven't--
632
00:36:26,455 --> 00:36:28,955
In four months?
633
00:36:28,995 --> 00:36:31,095
Well, you see,
there was this, uh,
634
00:36:31,125 --> 00:36:35,895
incident that made
masturbation very "taboo"--
635
00:36:35,935 --> 00:36:38,445
[ Laughs ]
in my household.
636
00:36:38,465 --> 00:36:41,605
Well, you have more
self-control than most people.
637
00:36:43,235 --> 00:36:46,135
I'm really sorry
about Mr. Biggles.
638
00:36:46,175 --> 00:36:48,545
Yeah.
639
00:36:48,575 --> 00:36:50,505
Ooh.
640
00:36:50,545 --> 00:36:52,945
Um-- Here's--
641
00:36:52,985 --> 00:36:55,195
No. It's--
Right.
642
00:36:56,925 --> 00:36:59,825
[ Bull ]
Oh, baby, I love you.
643
00:36:59,855 --> 00:37:03,155
- Baby, why won't you
tell me you love me too?
- Bull, have you seen Stifler?
644
00:37:03,195 --> 00:37:06,535
- Uh, he's in a meeting.
- What meeting would he be at?
645
00:37:06,565 --> 00:37:08,875
I don't know.
Something important.
646
00:37:08,895 --> 00:37:11,535
And it was
after my parents--
647
00:37:11,565 --> 00:37:15,665
Well, they had to fire
the fourth landscaping crew--
648
00:37:15,705 --> 00:37:17,835
um--
649
00:37:17,875 --> 00:37:19,985
because they caught me
with them,
650
00:37:20,015 --> 00:37:22,815
and that's when I knew...
651
00:37:22,845 --> 00:37:25,515
that I had a problem.
652
00:37:25,545 --> 00:37:29,945
But I have been sex-free
for two years now,
653
00:37:29,985 --> 00:37:32,885
and, you know,
never felt better.
654
00:37:32,925 --> 00:37:34,995
Whoo.
[ Laughs ]
655
00:37:39,865 --> 00:37:41,775
You are so brave.
656
00:37:44,065 --> 00:37:46,695
Get it in there! Yeah!
* [ Rap ]
657
00:37:46,735 --> 00:37:50,765
Faster. Faster.
I'm goin' as fast as I can.
658
00:37:50,805 --> 00:37:53,475
Faster, bad boy.
[ Laughs ]
659
00:37:54,745 --> 00:37:57,705
Oh, my God.
Faster, I said.
660
00:37:57,745 --> 00:37:59,775
Oh! I think I'm gonna--
661
00:37:59,815 --> 00:38:02,885
- You're gonna break it.
- Ooh! Yes! Yes!
662
00:38:02,915 --> 00:38:04,855
Ooh, God, yes.
663
00:38:04,885 --> 00:38:07,515
[ Giggles ]
Oh!
664
00:38:07,555 --> 00:38:10,525
Oh, boy. Whoo!
665
00:38:12,595 --> 00:38:15,625
[ Moaning, Giggling ]
666
00:38:20,575 --> 00:38:22,645
Call yourself a man?
667
00:38:22,675 --> 00:38:25,915
Get back here
and fuck me.
[ Giggles ]
668
00:38:25,945 --> 00:38:27,915
[ Laughs ]
669
00:38:27,945 --> 00:38:30,155
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right, listen.
670
00:38:30,185 --> 00:38:34,325
I just did three times.
Okay, I'm gonna go
get an ice pack,
671
00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:36,225
and then I'll be
right back.
672
00:38:36,255 --> 00:38:38,625
You know a secret?
673
00:38:38,655 --> 00:38:41,055
Ice packs are for pussies.
674
00:38:41,095 --> 00:38:43,195
[ Both Laugh ]
675
00:38:43,225 --> 00:38:46,655
Oh, your friend--
He wants to come play.
676
00:38:46,695 --> 00:38:48,625
I wanna see you again.
[ Growls ]
677
00:38:48,665 --> 00:38:50,595
[ Laughing ]
Oh, yeah.
678
00:38:50,635 --> 00:38:52,645
[ Growling ]
[ Laughing ]
679
00:38:52,665 --> 00:38:54,605
You're bad.
I'm a grizzly bear.
680
00:38:54,635 --> 00:38:57,635
I'm gonna steal
a picnic basket
full of orgasms.
681
00:38:57,675 --> 00:39:00,785
[ Growls ]
Okay, lay your head back.
Lay your head back.
682
00:39:00,815 --> 00:39:03,215
[ Giggling ]
Ready? You ready for it?
Oh, it's coming.
683
00:39:03,245 --> 00:39:05,845
All right,
hands and feet
inside the tram.
684
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:08,595
Next stop:
Penetration Station, baby.
685
00:39:12,285 --> 00:39:14,855
Hey! Get back here!
686
00:39:17,895 --> 00:39:21,335
Stifler, I forgot
to tell you--
Whoa.
687
00:39:21,365 --> 00:39:24,675
Get your ass...
688
00:39:24,705 --> 00:39:26,675
over here, punk.
Okay.
689
00:39:26,705 --> 00:39:29,045
Oh!
[ Screams ]
690
00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:31,115
[ Paper Tearing ]
691
00:39:32,945 --> 00:39:36,215
Dude, on her teddy bear?
Really?
692
00:39:36,245 --> 00:39:38,845
Dude, he hasn't
busted a nut in,
like, four months.
693
00:39:38,885 --> 00:39:41,255
What do you think I should do?
Man, you gotta
beat the bishop.
694
00:39:41,285 --> 00:39:44,825
Yeah, you need
to punch that clown--
a lot.
695
00:39:44,855 --> 00:39:47,085
What are you
talkin' about?
696
00:39:47,125 --> 00:39:49,835
You need to masturbate, dude.
A lot.
A lot.
697
00:39:49,865 --> 00:39:52,305
So next time you won't
blow your load when you're
rounding first base.
698
00:39:52,325 --> 00:39:54,225
Yeah.
699
00:39:59,975 --> 00:40:05,115
*Oh, I can't wait
till the sun goes down *
700
00:40:05,145 --> 00:40:10,855
*You and me
No one else around *
701
00:40:10,885 --> 00:40:14,085
*Turn the lights down low
Just gotta clean the pipes.
702
00:40:14,115 --> 00:40:17,345
*I'm gonna love you
all night long *
703
00:40:17,385 --> 00:40:19,685
[ Chorus ]
*Gonna love you
704
00:40:19,725 --> 00:40:22,365
*Gonna love you
all night long *
705
00:40:22,395 --> 00:40:24,705
*Gonna love you
706
00:40:24,725 --> 00:40:27,655
*Gonna love you
all night long *
707
00:40:32,235 --> 00:40:34,135
[ Knocking ]
708
00:40:35,935 --> 00:40:38,105
Who is it?
Hey, it's Ashley.
709
00:40:38,145 --> 00:40:40,285
We were gonna hang out,
remember?
Ye--
710
00:40:41,875 --> 00:40:44,875
Yeah. Yeah, I remember.
711
00:40:44,915 --> 00:40:47,675
I-- I lost track
of time, Ashley.
I'll be right there.
712
00:40:47,715 --> 00:40:50,245
- Are you okay in there?
- Yeah.
713
00:40:50,285 --> 00:40:53,285
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine. Um--
714
00:40:53,325 --> 00:40:56,935
- Just gimme one second, okay?
- Erik, are you naked?
715
00:40:56,965 --> 00:40:59,235
I'm just putting on
my T-shirt right now.
716
00:40:59,265 --> 00:41:01,435
Uh-- There it is.
717
00:41:02,965 --> 00:41:04,995
Hi.
Hi.
718
00:41:05,035 --> 00:41:07,135
Can I come in?
Uh, no. Uh--
719
00:41:07,175 --> 00:41:10,015
The place
is actually a mess.
Bobby's disgusting.
720
00:41:10,045 --> 00:41:12,185
Oh, yeah.
But I know
a cool place we can go.
721
00:41:12,205 --> 00:41:14,175
Cool.
722
00:41:14,215 --> 00:41:15,985
[ Door Closes ]
723
00:41:17,415 --> 00:41:19,725
* [ Woman Singing Pop ]
724
00:41:19,755 --> 00:41:21,485
Yeah. All right.
725
00:41:21,515 --> 00:41:25,315
Right hand, yellow.
726
00:41:25,355 --> 00:41:28,215
Ooh. I love this game.
727
00:41:28,255 --> 00:41:31,385
Don't you fall,
or you're losin'
those boxers.
728
00:41:31,425 --> 00:41:34,725
[ Laughs ]
Oh, really?
729
00:41:34,765 --> 00:41:38,225
[ Groans ]
Are you okay?
730
00:41:38,265 --> 00:41:40,795
Uh, yeah. Ow.
731
00:41:40,835 --> 00:41:42,835
Hi.
Hi.
732
00:41:52,245 --> 00:41:54,315
Oh.
733
00:41:59,255 --> 00:42:01,355
I'm sorry.
734
00:42:01,395 --> 00:42:04,165
What-- Are you--
Are you a virgin
or something? Or--
735
00:42:04,195 --> 00:42:07,305
No.
[ Exhales ]
736
00:42:07,335 --> 00:42:09,535
It's just, when I--
737
00:42:09,565 --> 00:42:11,765
When I get too excited--
738
00:42:13,505 --> 00:42:15,415
Oh, it's embarrassing.
739
00:42:21,015 --> 00:42:23,155
Here.
740
00:42:23,175 --> 00:42:25,475
Let me just
take care of you again.
741
00:42:25,515 --> 00:42:27,375
Okay.
742
00:42:29,355 --> 00:42:31,995
[ Laughing ]
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
743
00:42:32,025 --> 00:42:35,165
Cheers. Cheers.
744
00:42:35,195 --> 00:42:37,495
Mmm.
Mmm.
[ Laughs ]
745
00:42:37,525 --> 00:42:39,825
[ Man ]
*Something in your eyes
Let me get that for you--
746
00:42:39,865 --> 00:42:43,075
*Makes me realize
A little spillage.
No big deal.
747
00:42:43,095 --> 00:42:45,335
[ Man ]
*The stars
always shine brighter *
748
00:42:45,365 --> 00:42:48,495
*When you're near
749
00:42:48,535 --> 00:42:51,365
[ Gasps ]
It's not gonna
go off again, is it?
750
00:42:51,405 --> 00:42:54,335
Absolutely not.
I've been practicing
my self-control-- a lot.
751
00:42:54,375 --> 00:42:56,275
A lot?
A lot.
752
00:42:56,315 --> 00:42:59,255
*Is all I need
753
00:43:00,355 --> 00:43:02,455
*You're my everything
754
00:43:02,485 --> 00:43:08,255
*You're all I've been
waiting for *
755
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:11,935
* [ Continues ]
756
00:43:11,965 --> 00:43:14,935
*You're my everything
[ Giggles ]
757
00:43:17,035 --> 00:43:19,475
[ Clears Throat ]
Come on.
758
00:43:19,505 --> 00:43:22,275
Just how much
have you been working
on your self-control?
759
00:43:24,245 --> 00:43:26,845
I'm really sorry. It's--
760
00:43:26,875 --> 00:43:28,605
It's not working.
[ Laughs ]
761
00:43:28,645 --> 00:43:31,925
My stupid friends--
They said that
if I would--
762
00:43:31,945 --> 00:43:35,015
Erik, it-- It's okay.
It happens.
763
00:43:35,055 --> 00:43:36,925
Wine?
764
00:43:39,585 --> 00:43:42,425
[ Helicopters Overhead ]
765
00:43:46,395 --> 00:43:48,355
All right, boys.
We got a live one here.
766
00:43:48,395 --> 00:43:50,865
Two klicks north.
Three klicks east.
767
00:43:50,905 --> 00:43:53,045
All right.
Three klicks east.
768
00:43:55,105 --> 00:43:57,565
[ Dwight ]
Let's blast her--
The big, giant ones.
769
00:43:57,605 --> 00:43:59,475
Fire in the hole.
770
00:44:01,275 --> 00:44:04,105
Oh!
771
00:44:04,145 --> 00:44:07,975
- Oh, my God.
- [ Laughing ]
772
00:44:08,015 --> 00:44:10,045
[ Inhaling ]
Ahh.
773
00:44:10,085 --> 00:44:12,985
I love the smell
of boobies in the morning.
774
00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:14,895
Hey, so how's it goin'
with Denise?
Mmm.
775
00:44:14,925 --> 00:44:17,155
Well, okay,
so we hooked up,
776
00:44:17,195 --> 00:44:19,565
and...
777
00:44:19,595 --> 00:44:23,965
- she gave me
a couple hand jobs.
- [ Laughing ] Hand jobs?
778
00:44:24,005 --> 00:44:26,075
They're actually
the best hand jobs
I've ever had in my life.
779
00:44:26,105 --> 00:44:29,445
- Oh, really?
- Shut up.
780
00:44:29,475 --> 00:44:32,515
The only problem is,
I tried to stick my hand
down her pants--
781
00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:35,215
She pulls my hands away...
782
00:44:35,245 --> 00:44:38,105
and says
she's embarrassed.
Uh-oh.
783
00:44:38,145 --> 00:44:41,275
Maybe she has an
abnormally large bush.
784
00:44:41,315 --> 00:44:44,345
Yeah, or maybe she's got
a yeast infection. Ooh.
Ugh. Come on.
785
00:44:44,385 --> 00:44:48,055
- Maybe she's got a dick.
- Huh?
786
00:44:48,095 --> 00:44:50,335
What?Crying Game,
Boys Don't Cry?
787
00:44:50,365 --> 00:44:52,405
- That's based
on true stories, boys.
- No.
788
00:44:52,425 --> 00:44:55,365
No. There's no way.
Hey, man, maybe she's
a hermaphrodite.
789
00:44:55,395 --> 00:44:58,225
Transvestite?
Little Shanghai surprise?
790
00:44:58,265 --> 00:45:01,695
You said yourself
she gives you the best hand jobs
you ever had in your whole life.
791
00:45:01,735 --> 00:45:05,505
- Yeah. So?
- So how do you think
she got so good at it?
792
00:45:05,545 --> 00:45:09,685
- Probably from workin'
her own gear.
- [ Laughing ]
793
00:45:09,715 --> 00:45:12,625
So you guys think I might have
been hooking up with a dude
this whole time?
794
00:45:12,645 --> 00:45:15,345
Maybe. There's only
one way to find out.
795
00:45:15,385 --> 00:45:18,685
You gotta get into those pants.
796
00:45:18,725 --> 00:45:21,425
Oh, wait. This is too perfect.
Load it up.
Load it up right now.
797
00:45:21,455 --> 00:45:24,255
[ All Laughing ]
798
00:45:25,695 --> 00:45:27,955
[ Dwight ]
Sorry!
799
00:45:27,995 --> 00:45:30,965
-Whoo! Yeah!
- [ All Laughing ]
800
00:45:31,005 --> 00:45:35,175
* [ Man Singing Ballad ]
801
00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:43,605
[ Moans ]
802
00:45:43,645 --> 00:45:45,545
I want you to go
down on me, Cooze.
803
00:45:45,585 --> 00:45:47,525
Are you sure?
Uh-huh.
804
00:45:47,555 --> 00:45:50,695
'Cause I can wait.
No. I want you
down there now.
805
00:45:50,725 --> 00:45:52,595
Okay.
806
00:45:54,255 --> 00:45:56,225
That's it, Cooze.
807
00:46:00,765 --> 00:46:02,635
[ Muttering ]
808
00:46:03,735 --> 00:46:05,705
That's it, Cooze.
809
00:46:05,735 --> 00:46:08,135
Suck my cock!
810
00:46:08,175 --> 00:46:10,975
She's got a dick!
Hey, are you okay?
811
00:46:12,775 --> 00:46:16,475
Oh, my God.
I just had the worst nightmare.
812
00:46:16,515 --> 00:46:19,085
What was it about?
813
00:46:19,115 --> 00:46:22,085
And who's got a dick?
I do.
814
00:46:23,615 --> 00:46:26,715
[ Screaming ]
815
00:46:30,765 --> 00:46:33,065
Oh, my God.
816
00:46:33,095 --> 00:46:36,665
I can't take this anymore.
[ Sighs ]
817
00:46:39,265 --> 00:46:42,235
[ Phone Rings ]
818
00:46:44,305 --> 00:46:47,335
[ Ringing Continues ]
819
00:46:53,215 --> 00:46:57,315
Hello?
[ Ashley ] I thought you
were gonna call me.
820
00:46:57,355 --> 00:47:01,425
Oh, hey. Uh, yeah.
I-- I fell asleep.
821
00:47:01,455 --> 00:47:03,425
I'm sorry.
[ Knock On Door ]
822
00:47:03,455 --> 00:47:05,625
Were you dreaming
about me?
823
00:47:05,665 --> 00:47:07,805
Maybe.
824
00:47:07,835 --> 00:47:09,705
Hey, can you hold on
for one sec?
825
00:47:12,205 --> 00:47:14,305
'Cause this...
826
00:47:15,635 --> 00:47:17,335
isn't a dream.
827
00:47:23,375 --> 00:47:25,445
Oh, God.
That's not mine.
That's Bobby's.
828
00:47:34,795 --> 00:47:37,195
Uh, that's not mine.
829
00:47:43,895 --> 00:47:46,135
[ Chuckles ]
830
00:47:53,305 --> 00:47:57,175
- Whoo!
- Guys! What the hell
are you doing?
831
00:47:57,215 --> 00:48:01,655
Number 33, baby.
We got a chance to do Number 33,
but we gotta go now.
832
00:48:01,685 --> 00:48:04,325
Half-naked girl here.
Sorry, Ashley.
833
00:48:04,355 --> 00:48:06,395
Dude, the manager just called.
He's got an opening.
834
00:48:06,425 --> 00:48:08,695
We haven't even
rehearsed for that bit yet.
835
00:48:08,725 --> 00:48:10,865
It's our only chance, man.
[ Whispers ]
Do it.
836
00:48:10,895 --> 00:48:13,765
Really?
837
00:48:13,795 --> 00:48:16,625
Ashley, it is Number 33.
838
00:48:16,665 --> 00:48:21,665
Maybe... we could
finish later, or something?
839
00:48:21,705 --> 00:48:23,775
It's cool.
840
00:48:25,505 --> 00:48:27,775
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm coming with you.
841
00:48:29,515 --> 00:48:31,515
We rocked that place.
842
00:48:31,545 --> 00:48:33,675
[ Screaming ]
843
00:48:33,715 --> 00:48:37,915
Number 46:
Sex in the stacks.
Chalk it up.
844
00:48:37,955 --> 00:48:40,865
*I just put on
my night face *
845
00:48:40,895 --> 00:48:44,895
Number 26:
Receive a golden shower.
846
00:48:44,925 --> 00:48:48,495
Twenty-seven:
Perform a Cleveland steamer.
Check.
847
00:48:48,535 --> 00:48:50,735
Get a panda in the grotto.
848
00:48:50,765 --> 00:48:56,165
Thirty: Get a "blumpkin."
After corned beef.
It was disgusting.
849
00:48:56,205 --> 00:48:58,605
-All right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
850
00:48:58,645 --> 00:49:01,215
By the power granted to me
by the great country of Canada,
851
00:49:01,245 --> 00:49:05,825
I now pronounce you
life partners.
[ Cheering ]
852
00:49:05,845 --> 00:49:08,645
- Would you like to
seal it with a kiss?
- [ Chuckling ]
853
00:49:08,685 --> 00:49:13,695
Number 41:
Make it official.
854
00:49:13,725 --> 00:49:16,765
[ Chuckles ]
'Cause I'm a gentleman.
855
00:49:16,795 --> 00:49:22,335
Wow. You boys are
such an inspiration.
856
00:49:22,365 --> 00:49:24,525
I think it's time we do a little
mid-semester celebrating.
What do you think?
857
00:49:24,565 --> 00:49:26,535
Yes.
Definitely.
858
00:49:26,565 --> 00:49:28,395
* [ Hip-hop ]
859
00:49:28,435 --> 00:49:31,765
*Let me get to work, baby
I don't wanna waste time *
860
00:49:31,805 --> 00:49:36,475
*I've been known to flirt
Every time I go I face time
See whatever works *
861
00:49:36,515 --> 00:49:39,885
Stifler. I'm afraid
I gotta see everyone's I.D.'s.
862
00:49:39,915 --> 00:49:43,585
- What?
-Come on, Manni.
You're joking, right?
863
00:49:43,615 --> 00:49:46,615
I'm afraid not.
You see, the new ownership
of this establishment...
864
00:49:46,655 --> 00:49:49,255
doesn't condone
underage drinking.
865
00:49:49,295 --> 00:49:52,965
Officers, please escort
these minors from the premises.
866
00:49:52,995 --> 00:49:55,625
-Can I touch your gun?
- All right, okay.
-[ Edgar ] Bye-bye.
867
00:49:55,665 --> 00:49:57,825
You're fuckin'
with traditions, Edgar.
868
00:49:57,865 --> 00:50:00,695
I'm not just fucking
with your traditions.
869
00:50:00,735 --> 00:50:03,565
I'm tearing them down.
[ Chuckles ]
870
00:50:03,605 --> 00:50:05,905
Take him away.
871
00:50:07,775 --> 00:50:10,545
You know, you are
way too classy...
872
00:50:10,585 --> 00:50:14,555
and have way too nice of
a body to be hanging out
with a douche bag.
873
00:50:14,585 --> 00:50:17,855
[ Chuckling ]
Don't listen to him, honey.
Your body isn't that great.
874
00:50:17,885 --> 00:50:19,785
I'll have a gimlet, please.
Thank you.
875
00:50:21,555 --> 00:50:23,685
Stifler.
What?
876
00:50:23,725 --> 00:50:25,925
- Your lawyer's here.
- Excellent. Thanks, Marty.
Send him in.
877
00:50:27,935 --> 00:50:30,575
You have a lawyer?
878
00:50:32,035 --> 00:50:34,945
Thanks for coming.
I'm glad you got here.
879
00:50:34,975 --> 00:50:37,545
Well, you know me,
I'm always down for the cause.
880
00:50:37,575 --> 00:50:41,045
- Betas for life, baby.
- Betas for life.
881
00:50:41,075 --> 00:50:43,675
- Mr. Levenstein.
- Hey, Eric. How's your
mom and dad?
882
00:50:43,715 --> 00:50:45,955
They're good.
They're really good, actually.
883
00:50:45,985 --> 00:50:49,495
Well, that's good.
Hey, guys, this is Noah.
He's a Beta alum.
884
00:50:49,515 --> 00:50:52,045
He's our house counsel
and consigliere. This guy...
885
00:50:52,085 --> 00:50:54,785
has gotten us out of more shit
than you can even imagine.
886
00:50:54,825 --> 00:50:57,765
Well, you Beta boys
do keep me busy.
That's for sure.
887
00:50:57,795 --> 00:50:59,935
Now, I've just talked
to the district attorney.
888
00:50:59,965 --> 00:51:02,935
He's an old school chum of mine.
He's willing to drop
all the charges...
889
00:51:02,965 --> 00:51:07,335
if you promise
never to set foot
in the Silver Dollar again.
890
00:51:08,735 --> 00:51:11,365
This is ridiculous.
891
00:51:11,405 --> 00:51:13,575
Where am I gonna
have Sunday brunch?
892
00:51:13,605 --> 00:51:17,445
Oh, look, I know you're upset.
They do have a great omelet bar.
That's for sure.
893
00:51:17,485 --> 00:51:21,385
- But, uh, you're just
gonna have to give it up.
- No, we can't.
894
00:51:21,415 --> 00:51:26,755
These geeks,
these geeks are messin'
with the Beta way of life.
895
00:51:26,785 --> 00:51:28,515
You want to, uh,
step inside, Noah?
896
00:51:28,555 --> 00:51:30,585
Oh, it's open?
Yeah.
897
00:51:30,625 --> 00:51:33,525
Oh, thanks, Marty.
898
00:51:33,565 --> 00:51:37,005
If you wanna grab a sandwich,
I'll just be a minute.
899
00:51:37,035 --> 00:51:39,905
Look, fellas,
900
00:51:39,935 --> 00:51:44,035
there is a bigger picture here
than the "Beta way of life."
901
00:51:44,075 --> 00:51:46,785
Is that what you thought
when you were in the Beta house?
902
00:51:48,775 --> 00:51:50,775
No.
903
00:51:50,815 --> 00:51:53,125
No, it wasn't.
904
00:51:53,145 --> 00:51:56,785
- So--
-So I think something
has to be done here...
905
00:51:56,815 --> 00:51:59,615
within the confines
of the law, of course.
Of course.
906
00:51:59,655 --> 00:52:01,755
Of course.
907
00:52:01,795 --> 00:52:04,495
So, uh, what would you do?
908
00:52:04,525 --> 00:52:09,595
What would I do?
909
00:52:09,635 --> 00:52:15,775
I would crush those geeks
with every Beta muscle
in my body.
910
00:52:15,805 --> 00:52:19,705
- [ Groans ]
- But that's just me.
911
00:52:19,745 --> 00:52:21,885
See you boys at homecoming.
912
00:52:21,915 --> 00:52:23,815
Say hi to your folks, Eric.
I will. Thank you.
913
00:52:34,025 --> 00:52:36,435
[ Whispering ]
What are we doing?
914
00:52:36,455 --> 00:52:38,525
We gotta find
their trophy, bro.
915
00:52:52,805 --> 00:52:55,705
Freeze, human.
916
00:52:55,745 --> 00:52:57,975
[ Hissing ]
917
00:53:00,985 --> 00:53:04,895
[ Grunting ]
918
00:53:04,925 --> 00:53:10,065
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
919
00:53:10,095 --> 00:53:12,565
Uphold the Galactic
Alliance...
920
00:53:12,595 --> 00:53:14,925
with my cock.
[ Growling ]
921
00:53:14,965 --> 00:53:17,675
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
922
00:53:19,735 --> 00:53:21,995
What the hell
is going on in there?
923
00:53:22,035 --> 00:53:25,035
Sounds like a dog with
its dick stuck in a vacuum.
924
00:53:25,075 --> 00:53:27,615
Hey, this way.
Come on.
I'm a husky ninja.
925
00:53:27,645 --> 00:53:29,085
Shh.
Hyah!
926
00:53:33,545 --> 00:53:35,145
[ Erik ]
There it is,
the motherboard.
927
00:53:35,185 --> 00:53:37,855
Oh.
928
00:53:37,885 --> 00:53:39,955
[ Swallows ]
929
00:53:39,985 --> 00:53:42,985
[ Gasps ]
Guys, I really
gotta take a dump.
930
00:53:43,025 --> 00:53:46,955
Oh, come on. Not now.
That fast food I ate
put me over.
931
00:53:46,995 --> 00:53:48,895
[ Groaning ]
I can't wait.
932
00:53:50,835 --> 00:53:54,975
Well, hurry up then.
That guy is disgusting.
933
00:53:55,005 --> 00:53:56,975
Hold that.
934
00:53:57,005 --> 00:53:59,165
Okay. All right.
935
00:54:05,885 --> 00:54:07,885
All right.
936
00:54:10,285 --> 00:54:12,755
Gently.
937
00:54:14,155 --> 00:54:16,785
All right.
[ Alarm Blaring ]
938
00:54:16,825 --> 00:54:18,685
Come on.
939
00:54:18,725 --> 00:54:22,825
- Bobby.
-[ Alarm Continues ]
940
00:54:22,865 --> 00:54:26,995
- Ooh! Bobby,
what are you doing, man?
- Upper-decker, baby.
941
00:54:27,035 --> 00:54:29,505
- Shh.
- [ Whispering ]
Oh. Upper-decker, baby.
942
00:54:29,535 --> 00:54:33,735
[ Groaning ]
Oh, my God.
943
00:54:33,775 --> 00:54:36,075
- Betas, we are leaving.
- Go, go, go!
944
00:54:41,585 --> 00:54:43,655
[ Panting ]
What's happening?
945
00:54:52,725 --> 00:54:58,865
Well, pledges,
you completed every task on
the task board in record time.
946
00:54:58,905 --> 00:55:02,175
I, along with every other Beta
in this room, are proud...
947
00:55:02,205 --> 00:55:05,715
to call you our brothers.
948
00:55:05,745 --> 00:55:08,845
- Congratulations.
You're all Betas.
-[ Applause ]
949
00:55:10,075 --> 00:55:12,075
[ Cheering ]
950
00:55:12,985 --> 00:55:16,155
Hey, Cuz.
951
00:55:16,185 --> 00:55:17,845
Here you go.
952
00:55:21,925 --> 00:55:24,865
[ Beeping ]
Oh, la, la.
Gracias.
953
00:55:24,895 --> 00:55:27,165
De nada.
954
00:55:27,195 --> 00:55:29,795
It sounds like you
got yourself a pretty good
girl there, buddy.
955
00:55:29,835 --> 00:55:31,905
Oh, yeah.
You know what, now that
pledge is finally over...
956
00:55:31,935 --> 00:55:33,845
we can spend a lot
more time together too.
957
00:55:38,275 --> 00:55:42,215
What, are you kidding me,
Edgar? Get you and the Mensa
rejects out of my house now.
958
00:55:43,875 --> 00:55:48,015
[ Beeping ]
959
00:55:48,055 --> 00:55:50,155
You have crossed me
for the last time, Stifler!
960
00:55:53,355 --> 00:55:56,585
We're gonna settle this
once and for all.
961
00:55:59,025 --> 00:56:01,895
Whoa! Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
962
00:56:01,935 --> 00:56:04,835
What the fuck?
963
00:56:08,335 --> 00:56:10,665
[ Roaring ]
964
00:56:10,705 --> 00:56:12,675
We, the members
of the geek house,
965
00:56:12,705 --> 00:56:14,735
challenge you,
the Beta house,
966
00:56:14,775 --> 00:56:17,745
to the Greek Olympiad.
The Greek Olympiad?
967
00:56:17,785 --> 00:56:21,025
As much as I'd love
to kick your geek ass
up and down the field, Ed,
968
00:56:21,055 --> 00:56:24,295
I hate to tell you
the Greek Olympiad has
been banned for, like, 40 years.
969
00:56:24,315 --> 00:56:26,885
[ Chuckling ]
What's the matter?
970
00:56:26,925 --> 00:56:30,095
Afraid to get into
a little trouble, Stifler?
971
00:56:30,125 --> 00:56:32,285
Afraid?
972
00:56:32,325 --> 00:56:34,255
[ Chuckles ]
Let's do this.
973
00:56:34,295 --> 00:56:38,695
Oh, but there is one catch.
We are playing for charters.
974
00:56:38,735 --> 00:56:43,215
If we win, you give up
your charter, and you move
out of the Beta house.
975
00:56:43,235 --> 00:56:47,075
And if you win,
we move out...
976
00:56:47,105 --> 00:56:51,205
- and you take our house.
- This place against
your mansion?
977
00:56:51,245 --> 00:56:54,715
Consider it another tradition
I plan to tear down.
978
00:56:55,855 --> 00:56:57,755
You're on.
979
00:56:57,785 --> 00:57:01,815
[ Chuckling ]
Vaya con Dios.
980
00:57:01,855 --> 00:57:07,095
Are you out of your mind?
The Greek Olympiad has
been banned for life.
981
00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:09,095
You'll all get
thrown off campus.
982
00:57:09,135 --> 00:57:11,905
That's a chance
we're gonna have to take.
983
00:57:11,935 --> 00:57:14,205
Oh, but the Greek
Olympiad is crazy.
984
00:57:14,235 --> 00:57:18,405
I mean, yes,
it's a combination skill,
endurance, athleticism, granted,
985
00:57:18,445 --> 00:57:21,185
but there is a degree
of perversion in these games...
986
00:57:21,215 --> 00:57:25,015
which I don't think
would serve you kids well.
987
00:57:25,045 --> 00:57:28,815
Do you happen to remember
the name of the last captain
to ever win the Greek Olympiad?
988
00:57:28,855 --> 00:57:31,995
Well, I haven't the foggiest,
because it was so long ago. I--
His name...
989
00:57:32,025 --> 00:57:34,795
was Noah Levenstein.
990
00:57:34,825 --> 00:57:36,995
Uh-huh.
991
00:57:37,025 --> 00:57:39,425
Well, I knew that would
catch up to me one day.
992
00:57:39,465 --> 00:57:42,435
But, you know, fellas, look,
I didn't know what was
going on back then.
993
00:57:42,465 --> 00:57:46,105
- I was just a dumb kid.
- Mr. Levenstein, we need you.
994
00:57:46,135 --> 00:57:51,465
Tradition states that
the last team captain to win
comes back to officiate.
995
00:57:51,505 --> 00:57:56,045
I know it's tradition.
I-- I--
996
00:57:56,075 --> 00:57:59,445
I suppose I could do it.
I'd have to call in and take
a few personal days.
997
00:57:59,485 --> 00:58:02,855
-Excellent. You will not
regret this. I promise you.
-Stifler!
998
00:58:02,885 --> 00:58:05,085
This just came
for you, man.
What is it?
999
00:58:10,055 --> 00:58:12,155
This is interesting.
1000
00:58:13,065 --> 00:58:15,735
Hello.
1001
00:58:17,265 --> 00:58:20,235
I'm here.
What's this big bombshell?
1002
00:58:27,775 --> 00:58:29,745
Are you sure
you weren't followed?
1003
00:58:29,775 --> 00:58:32,175
You. What the hell
are you doing here?
1004
00:58:36,085 --> 00:58:38,745
- Well, well, Stifler.
- Rock.
1005
00:58:38,785 --> 00:58:42,955
Looks like we meet again.
All right. This is a setup.
I'm out of here.
1006
00:58:42,995 --> 00:58:45,095
Relax, ass clown.
1007
00:58:45,125 --> 00:58:47,255
The enemy of my enemy
is my friend.
1008
00:58:47,295 --> 00:58:50,965
What we had was a rivalry.
1009
00:58:51,005 --> 00:58:53,875
But what Edgar did
got us kicked off campus.
1010
00:58:55,135 --> 00:58:58,865
Wait, how-how do you
even know the guy?
1011
00:58:58,905 --> 00:59:01,405
He tried to pledge
our house three years ago.
1012
00:59:01,445 --> 00:59:06,525
He was the first
regular-size guy to rush
the little-person frat.
1013
00:59:06,545 --> 00:59:09,375
They used to have this
tradition where we put
a sheep in the basement.
1014
00:59:09,415 --> 00:59:12,145
Be gentle.
They'd tell us
we had to bang the sheep...
1015
00:59:12,185 --> 00:59:15,315
and that we couldn't come out
until the rubber was used.
1016
00:59:15,355 --> 00:59:17,885
Now, one of
two things happened.
1017
00:59:17,925 --> 00:59:21,955
[ Sheep Bleating ]
Either they would
come out crying,
1018
00:59:21,995 --> 00:59:27,265
or they would
beat off in the rubber
and say they did the sheep.
1019
00:59:27,305 --> 00:59:30,115
And then, there was Edgar.
1020
00:59:32,105 --> 00:59:34,275
- Good luck.
-[ Bleating ]
1021
00:59:34,305 --> 00:59:37,075
[ Groaning ]
1022
00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:40,585
Oh, I'll be gentle.
It's okay.
What the fuck?
1023
00:59:40,615 --> 00:59:42,515
[ Edgar Moaning ]
We gotta check it out.
1024
00:59:42,555 --> 00:59:46,165
[ Edgar Moaning ]
1025
00:59:48,255 --> 00:59:51,355
[ Groaning ]
1026
00:59:51,395 --> 00:59:53,905
- For the love of God, man.
- [ Bleats ]
1027
00:59:53,925 --> 00:59:57,965
That sick bastard
fucked the sheep.
1028
00:59:58,005 --> 01:00:02,545
That's a great story,
but I'm a little unclear
on how it helps me.
1029
01:00:02,575 --> 01:00:06,385
[ Sighs ]
I'm sure you'll figure
something out, "Shitler."
1030
01:00:08,275 --> 01:00:10,845
* [ Fanfare ]
1031
01:00:10,885 --> 01:00:13,555
[ Cheering ]
1032
01:00:23,595 --> 01:00:26,935
Welcome to the Greek Olympiad.
1033
01:00:26,965 --> 01:00:31,135
[ Cheering ]
1034
01:00:35,035 --> 01:00:40,475
Competing today
in this ancient tradition
are the Beta house--
1035
01:00:40,505 --> 01:00:43,245
[ Cheering ]
Beta, Beta, Beta.
1036
01:00:43,275 --> 01:00:45,875
and the geek house.
1037
01:00:45,915 --> 01:00:48,615
[ Cheering ]
1038
01:00:48,655 --> 01:00:52,555
Now, when we think of
the term "Greek Olympiad,"
1039
01:00:52,585 --> 01:00:57,485
we-- we hearken back
to ancient traditions.
1040
01:00:57,525 --> 01:01:02,295
Uh, we conjure up images
of mighty warriors...
1041
01:01:02,335 --> 01:01:06,445
in their little skirts
getting all oiled up,
1042
01:01:06,465 --> 01:01:09,395
uh, writhing around
with each other.
1043
01:01:09,435 --> 01:01:14,905
Some called it wrestling.
Others called it something else.
1044
01:01:14,945 --> 01:01:20,055
But, uh, enough history.
On with the games.
1045
01:01:20,085 --> 01:01:22,025
[ Cheering ]
1046
01:01:28,095 --> 01:01:31,235
The first event is called:
The Release of Venus.
1047
01:01:31,265 --> 01:01:36,705
The man who undoes all
the brassieres on his side
the quickest wins.
1048
01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:39,975
You know, Ed.
It's really a shame...
1049
01:01:40,005 --> 01:01:42,645
all that practice on
your sister's training
bra is not gonna pay off.
1050
01:01:42,675 --> 01:01:46,345
Please, Dwight.
I spent a season in Milan
dating lingerie models.
1051
01:01:46,375 --> 01:01:48,275
It was before I met you.
1052
01:01:48,315 --> 01:01:50,255
* [ Fanfare ]
1053
01:01:50,275 --> 01:01:52,575
Gentlemen, are we ready?
1054
01:01:52,615 --> 01:01:56,095
- Get in there.
-Decline and fall, Dwight.
Decline and fall.
1055
01:01:57,385 --> 01:01:59,345
Start unsnapping.
1056
01:02:07,095 --> 01:02:09,655
*Put your finger in the pie
1057
01:02:09,695 --> 01:02:15,595
*Make you come
Make you wanna cry *
1058
01:02:15,635 --> 01:02:19,605
You know, I still hold
the record in this event.
The hands of a surgeon.
1059
01:02:19,645 --> 01:02:25,155
*On a dead-ender
I'm on a bender, a bender *
1060
01:02:25,185 --> 01:02:27,355
- [ Cooze ]
Whoa, what's up with Edgar?
- The chick's got double D's.
1061
01:02:27,385 --> 01:02:29,285
Quad clasps are really
difficult to deal with.
1062
01:02:29,315 --> 01:02:31,615
*I'm on a bender, a bender
A bender for you *
1063
01:02:31,655 --> 01:02:35,425
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Crowd Cheers ]
1064
01:02:35,455 --> 01:02:40,025
- Done. Done.
- [ Cheering ]
1065
01:02:40,065 --> 01:02:42,305
Betas win.
1066
01:02:42,335 --> 01:02:46,145
- [ Cheering ]
-*I'm on a bender, a bender
A bender for you *
1067
01:02:48,475 --> 01:02:50,745
Hey, nice try, Edgar.
1068
01:02:50,775 --> 01:02:54,315
Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
I guess I was just in the zone.
1069
01:02:54,345 --> 01:02:57,385
You know, with a little more
to work with, I might have won.
1070
01:02:57,415 --> 01:03:02,455
The next event is
the Battle of Ares.
1071
01:03:02,485 --> 01:03:08,595
Two men fighting
to the death...
1072
01:03:08,625 --> 01:03:12,135
or until one knocks
the other into the water.
1073
01:03:14,465 --> 01:03:18,805
Whoo! You guys
are so done, Edgar. Bull's
an animal with this thing.
1074
01:03:18,835 --> 01:03:21,645
Why don't you just
save some face? Give me
the deed to your place now.
1075
01:03:21,675 --> 01:03:25,315
Not quite yet.
You haven't met our
new initiate, have you?
1076
01:03:28,515 --> 01:03:32,055
[ Crowd Murmurs ]
1077
01:03:34,845 --> 01:03:36,785
His name is Dave Maul.
1078
01:03:36,815 --> 01:03:39,485
And he is the number-one-rated
light saber fighter...
1079
01:03:39,525 --> 01:03:41,365
on the science fiction
convention tour.
1080
01:03:41,395 --> 01:03:43,335
Oh, he's a virgin.
[ Laughing ]
1081
01:03:43,355 --> 01:03:46,525
Are you ready, boys?
Joust.
1082
01:03:55,235 --> 01:03:58,265
Yeah, come on!
1083
01:03:58,305 --> 01:04:01,605
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- [ Cheering ]
1084
01:04:05,415 --> 01:04:07,355
Oh, shit!
1085
01:04:09,785 --> 01:04:12,055
[ Groaning ]
1086
01:04:16,225 --> 01:04:18,155
Finish him.
1087
01:04:19,665 --> 01:04:21,435
No!
1088
01:04:22,865 --> 01:04:25,705
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Cheering ]
1089
01:04:25,735 --> 01:04:28,245
Geeks win.
1090
01:04:28,275 --> 01:04:30,515
I need a beer.
1091
01:04:30,535 --> 01:04:33,835
The next event is called
Demeter's Feast.
1092
01:04:33,875 --> 01:04:37,805
Now, in ancient Rome,
the pig was considered sacred,
1093
01:04:37,845 --> 01:04:42,115
and, uh, often sacrificed
to the goddess of agriculture.
1094
01:04:42,155 --> 01:04:45,625
Today, we've taken a pig,
uh, greased it up,
1095
01:04:45,655 --> 01:04:48,595
and the first one
who catches it wins.
1096
01:04:48,625 --> 01:04:53,305
- [ Snorting ]
- [ Speaking French ]
1097
01:04:53,325 --> 01:04:55,295
Hey, you sure you're
up for this pigging?
1098
01:04:55,335 --> 01:04:58,335
Stifler, I grew up
on a farm with 652 pigs.
1099
01:04:58,365 --> 01:05:01,865
I can tell what
the pig is thinking.
1100
01:05:01,905 --> 01:05:03,845
[ Squealing ]
1101
01:05:05,605 --> 01:05:08,675
Come here.
[ Shouts ]
1102
01:05:08,715 --> 01:05:12,285
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- Silly little fat man.
1103
01:05:12,315 --> 01:05:15,285
Hey, Edgar, what's the deal
with Captain Sulu?
He afraid to compete?
1104
01:05:15,315 --> 01:05:17,385
You haven't heard of
parkour, have you?
1105
01:05:17,415 --> 01:05:20,285
Lunettes. Allez.
1106
01:05:23,525 --> 01:05:25,525
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- What the--
- [ Groans ]
1107
01:05:25,565 --> 01:05:28,665
- Go, go, go!
- [ Squealing ]
1108
01:05:28,695 --> 01:05:30,765
Come here, piggy!
Come here, piggy!
1109
01:05:36,275 --> 01:05:38,715
Pig, pig, pig, piggy!
1110
01:05:43,815 --> 01:05:46,685
[ Squealing ]
1111
01:05:49,685 --> 01:05:52,195
[ Growling ]
1112
01:06:04,265 --> 01:06:06,695
Come here, pork chop.
1113
01:06:07,805 --> 01:06:10,415
Geeks!
1114
01:06:34,965 --> 01:06:39,405
- [ Squealing ]
- [ Cheering ]
1115
01:06:39,435 --> 01:06:42,575
[ Levenstein ]
Geeks win!
1116
01:06:48,445 --> 01:06:54,955
Greek roulette is
a very dangerous game,
not for the faint of heart.
1117
01:06:54,985 --> 01:06:58,025
One of these chambers
contains a capsule...
1118
01:06:58,055 --> 01:07:01,825
with aged horse, uh, semen.
1119
01:07:01,855 --> 01:07:04,355
[ Groaning ]
1120
01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:07,705
Gentlemen, let us begin.
1121
01:07:07,725 --> 01:07:11,265
[ Clamoring ]
1122
01:07:11,305 --> 01:07:13,275
[ Man ]
Give 'em only one shot.
1123
01:07:20,905 --> 01:07:23,705
[ Groaning ]
1124
01:07:28,855 --> 01:07:31,795
[ Man ] Come on. Come on.
[ Man #2 ]
Come on, Dwight.
1125
01:07:33,325 --> 01:07:35,695
Oh.
1126
01:07:35,725 --> 01:07:40,465
It's gonna be empty.
Come on.
1127
01:07:40,495 --> 01:07:43,765
I gotta hand it to you, Edgar.
I really didn't think you'd
have thehuevosfor this.
1128
01:07:43,795 --> 01:07:45,265
I thought you'd probably
recruit one of your lackeys.
1129
01:07:45,305 --> 01:07:49,445
I wouldn't miss watching you
shoot yourself full of
horse semen for anything.
1130
01:07:51,975 --> 01:07:54,845
Come on, man.
[ All Chattering ]
1131
01:07:54,875 --> 01:07:57,345
Stuff it in there.
It's all good.
It's all good.
1132
01:07:59,615 --> 01:08:02,585
[ Cheering ]
1133
01:08:02,615 --> 01:08:05,015
- Yes!
- Yes!
1134
01:08:07,755 --> 01:08:10,015
Your turn, big boss.
1135
01:08:10,055 --> 01:08:12,455
Come on. Come on.
1136
01:08:12,495 --> 01:08:14,935
- Come on.
- Come on. Yeah!
1137
01:08:14,965 --> 01:08:16,875
[ All Shouting ]
1138
01:08:19,835 --> 01:08:23,075
[ Screaming ]
1139
01:08:23,105 --> 01:08:26,115
[ Laughing ]
Yeah!
1140
01:08:26,145 --> 01:08:28,445
- Put two canisters in there.
- Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two?
1141
01:08:28,475 --> 01:08:30,575
That's too many, Dwight.
Come on. Two. He's not worth it.
1142
01:08:30,615 --> 01:08:34,125
Unless Edgar's afraid,
put in two canisters.
1143
01:08:34,145 --> 01:08:36,985
Fine! Put in two!
1144
01:08:37,985 --> 01:08:40,985
Put in two.
1145
01:08:43,395 --> 01:08:46,865
-[ Man ]
Oh, man.
- Go.
1146
01:08:46,895 --> 01:08:51,365
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
1147
01:08:51,405 --> 01:08:55,505
[ All Shouting ]
1148
01:08:55,535 --> 01:08:58,035
All right, all right.
All right. All right.
1149
01:08:58,075 --> 01:09:00,445
Everyone quiet!
1150
01:09:00,475 --> 01:09:03,075
- We good?
- Don't worry about it.
1151
01:09:03,115 --> 01:09:05,685
- You're good, baby.
There's nothing in there.
- Oh, no. I can't watch.
1152
01:09:06,745 --> 01:09:08,915
[ Screaming ]
1153
01:09:08,955 --> 01:09:14,465
- Yes!
- Yeah! Yes!
1154
01:09:14,485 --> 01:09:17,125
- Yes!
-Betas rule!
1155
01:09:17,155 --> 01:09:18,885
- You're up.
- You're next.
1156
01:09:18,925 --> 01:09:22,125
[ All Shouting ]
1157
01:09:22,165 --> 01:09:24,975
Do it. Go.
1158
01:09:24,995 --> 01:09:28,865
Do it. Do it! Do it!
1159
01:09:28,905 --> 01:09:32,715
Pull the fuckin' trigger.
Do it! Do it!
1160
01:09:32,745 --> 01:09:35,115
Do it! Pull it!
1161
01:09:38,585 --> 01:09:41,125
Oh, boy.
1162
01:09:43,555 --> 01:09:45,195
We won!
1163
01:09:45,215 --> 01:09:47,185
Betas win.
1164
01:09:47,225 --> 01:09:50,065
Enjoy Mr. Ed's jizz.
How's the semen taste, Ed?
1165
01:09:53,795 --> 01:09:56,095
Tough loss there, Edgar,
but you know what they say, son,
1166
01:09:56,135 --> 01:10:00,075
you've gotta get right
back up on that horse...
so to speak.
1167
01:10:00,105 --> 01:10:02,145
[ Sobbing ]
1168
01:10:02,175 --> 01:10:05,515
* [ Fanfare ]
1169
01:10:05,545 --> 01:10:10,785
The ancient game of
the wife carry has been
around for centuries.
1170
01:10:10,815 --> 01:10:14,555
The first couple to
complete the course wins.
1171
01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:16,925
- [ Cheering ]
- You owe me big time for this.
1172
01:10:16,955 --> 01:10:19,125
I know.
1173
01:10:19,155 --> 01:10:22,825
- Okay. Ready?
- All right.
1174
01:10:22,855 --> 01:10:25,885
All right.
1175
01:10:25,925 --> 01:10:28,755
How pathetic.
[ Scoffs ]
Now.
1176
01:10:33,665 --> 01:10:36,505
What, are you--
Really? You trying
to give Bandhu a hernia?
1177
01:10:36,535 --> 01:10:38,765
Oh, once again,
your pathetic little brain
has let you down, Dwight.
1178
01:10:38,805 --> 01:10:41,075
Bandhu, up.
1179
01:10:41,105 --> 01:10:44,675
[ All Chattering ]
1180
01:10:44,715 --> 01:10:47,625
All right, Erik.
We got this. Let's go.
1181
01:10:47,645 --> 01:10:49,945
We're fucked.
1182
01:10:49,985 --> 01:10:52,825
[ Pistol Fires ]
1183
01:10:52,855 --> 01:10:55,995
- Come on, Erik.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- We can beat those Betas.
1184
01:10:56,025 --> 01:10:58,135
Pick up the pace.
Faster, faster, faster.
1185
01:10:58,155 --> 01:11:00,625
How do you feel about
that advantage? Let's go.
1186
01:11:00,665 --> 01:11:03,675
[ All Chattering ]
1187
01:11:07,035 --> 01:11:08,895
[ All Shouting ]
1188
01:11:12,845 --> 01:11:15,715
[ Shouting ]
1189
01:11:20,245 --> 01:11:24,745
Maybe I should have
carried you.
1190
01:11:24,785 --> 01:11:28,915
Man, that is
one scary chick.
That's a chick?
1191
01:11:32,265 --> 01:11:35,635
And now, the Peloponnesian War.
1192
01:11:35,665 --> 01:11:38,775
The first team to consume
an entire keg wins.
1193
01:11:38,805 --> 01:11:41,075
Throwing up
does not disqualify.
1194
01:11:41,105 --> 01:11:44,845
Gentlemen,
inside this cylindrical
casing of aluminum...
1195
01:11:44,875 --> 01:11:48,145
lies 55 metric liters
of malted alcohol.
1196
01:11:48,175 --> 01:11:50,945
Remember, fellas, don't
underestimate these geeks.
1197
01:11:50,975 --> 01:11:53,045
Most of them are
lonely problem drinkers.
All right?
1198
01:11:53,085 --> 01:11:56,695
Beware, gentlemen.
These men know how to drink.
1199
01:11:56,715 --> 01:12:00,215
But we are more than they are.
We are more than men.
1200
01:12:00,255 --> 01:12:03,225
We, sirs, are geeks.
1201
01:12:03,255 --> 01:12:07,625
All right, boys. Battle.
1202
01:12:07,665 --> 01:12:10,335
- Gentlemen, chugalug.
- I can out-drink you fucks!
1203
01:12:10,365 --> 01:12:12,805
Batten down the hatches!
1204
01:12:14,035 --> 01:12:17,805
[ Screaming ]
1205
01:12:17,835 --> 01:12:19,865
We are geeks.
We can do this.
1206
01:12:19,905 --> 01:12:22,805
- [ Screaming ]
- Edgar!
1207
01:12:25,275 --> 01:12:29,145
I only have one thing
to say to you.
What's that, you philistine?
1208
01:12:36,995 --> 01:12:40,035
Puking doesn't disqualify.
1209
01:12:40,065 --> 01:12:43,205
All geeks, attack.
1210
01:12:50,735 --> 01:12:52,865
Come on, Edgar.
Let's see what you got, bitch.
1211
01:12:56,075 --> 01:12:59,345
That's all you got?
That's all you got?
1212
01:12:59,385 --> 01:13:03,325
Give it back.
Give it back.
1213
01:13:03,355 --> 01:13:07,765
Save yourselves!
1214
01:13:07,785 --> 01:13:11,855
Back to the keg!
Oh, we got a man down!
1215
01:13:11,895 --> 01:13:14,765
Gentlemen, we need to
attain maximum efficiency.
1216
01:13:14,795 --> 01:13:17,225
Irene, attach the device.
1217
01:13:22,775 --> 01:13:24,715
What the hell is that?
What is that thing?
1218
01:13:24,735 --> 01:13:28,135
Open valves.
1219
01:13:28,175 --> 01:13:30,875
That's the geeks
taking the lead.
It's time for our secret weapon.
1220
01:13:30,915 --> 01:13:33,155
Wesley! Wesley!
1221
01:13:33,185 --> 01:13:35,085
[ Shouting ]
[ Man ]
Let's go.
1222
01:13:35,115 --> 01:13:37,915
Keg stand, now!
1223
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:40,225
About damn time!
1224
01:13:42,995 --> 01:13:46,095
Open the valve all the way.
We need warp speed
on this motherfucker.
1225
01:13:51,195 --> 01:13:54,765
- Betas win.
- [ Cheering ]
1226
01:14:01,075 --> 01:14:06,275
With the Greek Olympiad tied,
we now go into sudden death.
1227
01:14:10,885 --> 01:14:15,755
The final event is called:
The Rise of Aphrodite.
1228
01:14:15,795 --> 01:14:19,935
Quite simply,
the first man who...
1229
01:14:19,965 --> 01:14:25,135
excretes his manly,
uh, juices,
1230
01:14:25,165 --> 01:14:29,995
in the, uh,
ejaculatory sense,
1231
01:14:30,035 --> 01:14:32,105
uh, loses.
1232
01:14:40,485 --> 01:14:42,785
I cannot wait to see you
come in your pants.
1233
01:14:42,815 --> 01:14:45,115
Let's do this.
1234
01:14:47,925 --> 01:14:50,025
*We used to be
attached at the hip *
1235
01:14:50,055 --> 01:14:52,185
*Now distance attacking
our relationship *
1236
01:14:52,225 --> 01:14:55,825
*I know you got
to handle your biz
I tried to be a good girl *
1237
01:14:55,865 --> 01:14:57,805
Pi is equal to 3.1415--
1238
01:14:57,835 --> 01:15:00,435
- No big deal at all.
- 59787--
1239
01:15:00,465 --> 01:15:03,835
I feel like Santa Claus
at the local shopping mall.
1240
01:15:07,275 --> 01:15:09,775
- That was nothing.
-That was nothing
for me either. No big deal.
1241
01:15:09,815 --> 01:15:12,085
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it down *
1242
01:15:12,115 --> 01:15:14,325
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
make it stop *
1243
01:15:14,345 --> 01:15:16,375
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it drop *
1244
01:15:16,415 --> 01:15:18,945
*Go ahead, mama
You're a phenomenon *
1245
01:15:18,985 --> 01:15:21,015
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it down *
1246
01:15:21,055 --> 01:15:23,415
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
make it stop *
1247
01:15:23,455 --> 01:15:25,455
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it drop *
1248
01:15:25,495 --> 01:15:27,965
I like your boobs.
[ Bobby ]
Look at this!
1249
01:15:27,995 --> 01:15:31,465
Pretend you're
sucking my man breasts.
1250
01:15:31,495 --> 01:15:35,435
Give it up, Stifler.
This is a game of
mind over matter.
1251
01:15:35,465 --> 01:15:38,235
And my brain is
way bigger than yours.
1252
01:15:38,275 --> 01:15:43,545
I've got experience on my side.
I'll take that over your Vulcan
mind tricks any day.
1253
01:15:43,575 --> 01:15:47,145
We shall see.
Bring her in.
1254
01:15:47,185 --> 01:15:49,825
We flew this young lady
in from Las Vegas.
1255
01:15:49,855 --> 01:15:52,195
She's the number-one stripper
in the Emerald City.
1256
01:15:52,225 --> 01:15:55,025
Enjoy, Dwight.
1257
01:15:55,055 --> 01:15:57,155
*Don't have to ask why
1258
01:15:57,195 --> 01:15:59,365
- No.
- Oh.
1259
01:15:59,395 --> 01:16:01,235
Good luck.
1260
01:16:01,265 --> 01:16:04,235
*Don't have to ask why
1261
01:16:04,265 --> 01:16:07,235
*Just get them hands high
Just raise 'em to the sky *
1262
01:16:07,265 --> 01:16:10,095
I'm in trouble here, boys.
1263
01:16:10,135 --> 01:16:12,865
This chick is ridiculous.
Bring her in.
1264
01:16:12,905 --> 01:16:15,075
Code red! Code red!
1265
01:16:19,115 --> 01:16:21,185
[ Bleating ]
1266
01:16:23,915 --> 01:16:26,515
- [ Bleating ]
- What the fuck?
1267
01:16:30,595 --> 01:16:33,905
Look at my tail, Edgar.
Look how fluffy it is.
1268
01:16:33,925 --> 01:16:36,495
[ Edgar ]
Stop, please.
1269
01:16:36,535 --> 01:16:40,075
- Somebody make her stop.
- What's the matter, Edgar?
You got a little wool fetish?
1270
01:16:40,105 --> 01:16:43,275
No.
1271
01:16:44,435 --> 01:16:47,275
[ Edgar Moaning ]
1272
01:16:50,615 --> 01:16:54,155
He's done.
1273
01:17:00,425 --> 01:17:03,935
- Betas win.
- [ Cheering ]
1274
01:17:05,425 --> 01:17:07,895
[ Chanting ]
Beta, Beta, Beta.
1275
01:17:07,925 --> 01:17:10,495
Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta.
1276
01:17:10,535 --> 01:17:12,905
[ Chanting Continues ]
1277
01:17:20,375 --> 01:17:25,555
To the winners--
I now present
the golden hammer...
1278
01:17:25,575 --> 01:17:30,475
- to Beta house.
- Beta, baby.
1279
01:17:30,515 --> 01:17:33,545
Congratulations, Stifler.
You've kept the Beta
traditions alive.
1280
01:17:33,585 --> 01:17:35,985
Thanks, Noah.
Betas for life?
1281
01:17:36,025 --> 01:17:39,095
- Betas for life.
- Yeah.
1282
01:17:40,365 --> 01:17:43,935
* [ Vocalizing ]
1283
01:17:43,965 --> 01:17:46,295
* [ Singing, Indistinct ]
1284
01:17:46,335 --> 01:17:48,375
Now this is a frat party.
1285
01:17:48,405 --> 01:17:51,145
No, this is a Beta party.
1286
01:17:51,175 --> 01:17:54,485
*Put yourself upon the ground
Back there and rock them
different times *
1287
01:17:54,505 --> 01:17:57,975
*Can't come back one day
to rhyme spent my dime
run down the line *
1288
01:17:58,015 --> 01:18:01,625
*Your time's up don't hesitate
Chop the suckers off like
Norman Bates, yeah *
1289
01:18:01,645 --> 01:18:04,045
*Get on and open up
your brain *
1290
01:18:04,085 --> 01:18:07,455
*We hit it to this minute
'Cause you told them
how you came *
1291
01:18:07,485 --> 01:18:11,285
- *How you what
- *Came
1292
01:18:11,325 --> 01:18:12,955
*My big-league rhyme
is a major rap *
1293
01:18:12,995 --> 01:18:16,365
Hey, I got a little
surprise for you.
Yeah?
1294
01:18:19,135 --> 01:18:22,375
A little present
for you being so patient
and understanding.
1295
01:18:22,405 --> 01:18:24,615
Okay.
1296
01:18:24,635 --> 01:18:28,235
- Are you ready
for your present?
- [ Laughing ] I'm not sure.
1297
01:18:28,275 --> 01:18:33,045
I'm really confused right now,
and I'm trying to keep
an open mind, but--
1298
01:18:33,085 --> 01:18:37,555
[ Thinking ]
Oh, man, this is
fucked up, even for me.
1299
01:18:37,585 --> 01:18:40,145
- Here it comes.
- [ Thinking ] Oh, my God.
If it's bigger than mine,
1300
01:18:40,185 --> 01:18:42,385
I swear I'm gonna pass out.
1301
01:18:42,425 --> 01:18:46,365
- I'm not wearing
any panties.
- [ Thinking ] Oh.
1302
01:18:46,395 --> 01:18:49,005
Easy, Cooze.
Everybody can see you.
1303
01:18:49,035 --> 01:18:51,475
Well, I'm sure we could
find someplace around here
with a little privacy.
1304
01:18:51,495 --> 01:18:53,995
Okay.
Let's go.
1305
01:18:54,035 --> 01:18:56,395
*Dance, come on
1306
01:18:56,435 --> 01:18:59,465
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1307
01:18:59,505 --> 01:19:01,635
Where are you taking me?
1308
01:19:01,675 --> 01:19:03,935
It's a surprise.
You're gonna like it.
1309
01:19:13,585 --> 01:19:15,685
I'm nervous.
1310
01:19:15,725 --> 01:19:19,035
What are you talking about?
Everything's gonna be fine.
1311
01:19:19,065 --> 01:19:22,135
Are you sure?
Yeah.
1312
01:19:25,335 --> 01:19:28,545
*You try to mend
the heart you're breaking *
1313
01:19:28,565 --> 01:19:32,965
Why don't I
take care of you?
1314
01:19:34,545 --> 01:19:36,415
Okay.
1315
01:19:37,545 --> 01:19:39,405
Okay.
1316
01:19:50,395 --> 01:19:53,195
Oh, my.
1317
01:19:55,065 --> 01:19:57,505
I can't. I can't.
1318
01:19:57,535 --> 01:20:01,705
Just let yourself go, baby.
There is nothing you can do
that's gonna surprise me, okay?
1319
01:20:01,735 --> 01:20:03,735
Are you sure?
Yeah.
1320
01:20:03,775 --> 01:20:06,315
Okay.
1321
01:20:08,505 --> 01:20:11,245
[ Chuckling ]
Why are you
bringing me in here?
1322
01:20:11,275 --> 01:20:13,645
Well, this being
our new house.
1323
01:20:13,685 --> 01:20:16,385
I thought I'd come up
with my own task for
the pledge board.
1324
01:20:16,415 --> 01:20:19,585
Mmm. Okay.
And what's that gonna be?
1325
01:20:19,625 --> 01:20:21,765
Uh.
[ Clears Throat ]
1326
01:20:21,785 --> 01:20:25,785
Well, I think it's kind
of better if I, uh--
if I show you.
1327
01:20:25,825 --> 01:20:28,155
[ Projector Whirring ]
1328
01:20:31,235 --> 01:20:34,745
Oh, sex in a movie theater.
1329
01:20:34,765 --> 01:20:37,465
I like the way you think,
Erik Stifler.
1330
01:20:37,505 --> 01:20:42,435
*Give me love
Give me love *
1331
01:20:42,475 --> 01:20:44,775
*And I'll bring it
back to you *
1332
01:20:44,815 --> 01:20:47,185
[ Moaning ]
1333
01:20:53,455 --> 01:20:55,825
I'm coming!
I'm coming!
1334
01:20:55,855 --> 01:20:58,355
I'm coming!
1335
01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:01,135
Oh! Oh, my--
1336
01:21:05,165 --> 01:21:06,765
Okay, I was a little
surprised by that.
1337
01:21:06,805 --> 01:21:10,175
I'm sorry.
1338
01:21:10,205 --> 01:21:12,075
It's okay. It's--
1339
01:21:13,405 --> 01:21:15,575
It's actually really sexy.
1340
01:21:15,605 --> 01:21:17,645
Really?
Yeah.
1341
01:21:17,675 --> 01:21:19,345
Can you do that every time?
1342
01:21:19,385 --> 01:21:22,455
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1343
01:21:22,485 --> 01:21:25,355
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
1344
01:21:30,695 --> 01:21:33,265
*I was alone in this world
and I can't stop *
1345
01:21:33,295 --> 01:21:36,135
*Till I seen little mama
in a tank top *
Hey, buddy.
1346
01:21:36,165 --> 01:21:37,875
Take a little dip
in the pool?
Nope.
1347
01:21:37,895 --> 01:21:40,125
Oh, wait a minute.
1348
01:21:42,475 --> 01:21:45,475
Ah, yes. The elusive
female ejaculation.
1349
01:21:45,505 --> 01:21:47,805
[ Chuckling ]
Not a lot of girls
can do that. Congrats.
1350
01:21:47,845 --> 01:21:52,255
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1351
01:21:52,285 --> 01:21:56,385
*That's because
he looked like me *
1352
01:21:56,415 --> 01:22:00,785
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1353
01:22:00,825 --> 01:22:04,865
*That's because
he looked like me *
1354
01:22:04,895 --> 01:22:08,935
*I couldn't help myself
I felt like I was a queen *
1355
01:22:08,965 --> 01:22:10,905
*I used to sit around
at home alone *
1356
01:22:10,935 --> 01:22:13,775
Beta house fuckin' rules!
1357
01:22:20,545 --> 01:22:25,855
[ All Screaming ]
1358
01:22:25,875 --> 01:22:30,545
*I was so turned on
I could barely say *
1359
01:22:30,585 --> 01:22:33,595
*He said come on
and gave me a little wink *
1360
01:22:33,625 --> 01:22:38,395
*My brain unfroze
and I can only think *
1361
01:22:38,425 --> 01:22:42,425
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1362
01:22:42,465 --> 01:22:46,435
*That's because
he looked like me *
1363
01:22:46,465 --> 01:22:48,865
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1364
01:22:48,905 --> 01:22:52,215
[ Chanting ]
Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta.
1365
01:22:55,005 --> 01:22:56,975
*I can't lose your lovin'
1366
01:22:57,015 --> 01:22:58,915
*No, I can't lose your love
1367
01:22:58,945 --> 01:23:03,415
*I can't lose your lovin'
No way *
1368
01:23:03,455 --> 01:23:06,895
*I just got your lovin'
Oh, baby, baby *
1369
01:23:06,925 --> 01:23:10,965
*I can't lose your lovin'
No, no way *
1370
01:23:15,495 --> 01:23:18,195
[ Chuckling ]
Yes.
1371
01:23:19,965 --> 01:23:23,295
[ Toilet Flushing ]
1372
01:23:26,675 --> 01:23:29,645
Hey, big boy.
1373
01:23:29,675 --> 01:23:31,405
Ready to fill me up
with some more protein?
1374
01:23:34,015 --> 01:23:40,855
No, no, no, no!
1375
01:23:40,885 --> 01:23:44,425
Ah, yes. The Blackout Menace
strikes again.
1376
01:23:44,455 --> 01:23:47,295
*When I wake up mornin' yawning
I put up my hands *
1377
01:23:47,325 --> 01:23:50,295
*Thank the lord
for what I got and
never stop my plans *
1378
01:23:50,335 --> 01:23:53,005
*Givin' all for the cause
Gotta keep it up never
let my head drop *
1379
01:23:53,035 --> 01:23:55,905
*Make me a home all my own
Better make the bed rock *
1380
01:23:55,935 --> 01:23:59,335
*A place for the dog, a garage
a yard to play around *
1381
01:23:59,375 --> 01:24:02,315
*Kitchen for missus
she'll be fixin' them
biscuits golden brown *
1382
01:24:02,345 --> 01:24:05,415
*Got me a shorty
and some kids just
like a family should *
1383
01:24:05,445 --> 01:24:08,345
*Made a few changes
how I live and now
it's all good *
1384
01:24:08,385 --> 01:24:11,525
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1385
01:24:11,555 --> 01:24:14,495
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1386
01:24:14,525 --> 01:24:17,565
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1387
01:24:17,595 --> 01:24:20,335
*How you bounce back
How you bounce back *
1388
01:24:20,365 --> 01:24:23,335
*Super classic realistic homey
on the dope *
1389
01:24:23,365 --> 01:24:26,075
*If you close your eyes
and miss it ask me why
I wrote this *
1390
01:24:26,095 --> 01:24:29,035
*I've come so very far
and made this here my home *
1391
01:24:29,065 --> 01:24:31,835
*So if you're thinkin'
otherwise I guess you're
thinkin' wrong *
1392
01:24:31,875 --> 01:24:35,015
*All it takes is all I got
a little bit of try *
1393
01:24:35,045 --> 01:24:38,085
*And if you make my babies cry
I'll bust you in your eye *
1394
01:24:38,115 --> 01:24:40,915
*Gonna make it happen
ain't no way you can
tie me up *
1395
01:24:40,945 --> 01:24:44,545
*'Cause I hocus-pocus
keep it focused and you
know the steps what's up *
1396
01:24:44,585 --> 01:24:47,715
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1397
01:24:47,755 --> 01:24:50,685
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1398
01:24:50,725 --> 01:24:53,765
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1399
01:24:53,795 --> 01:24:56,365
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1400
01:24:56,395 --> 01:24:59,065
*Hey, what you say
Hop in let's roll *
1401
01:24:59,095 --> 01:25:02,495
*Buckle up around that
He low like that
ain't nobody gotta know *
1402
01:25:02,535 --> 01:25:05,035
*Swing the bat for mama
I know big boys
hit home runs *
1403
01:25:05,075 --> 01:25:08,615
*I don't discriminate
No hate, I've ran bases
with smaller ones *
1404
01:25:08,645 --> 01:25:10,845
*I know what I got
Kids that work
they be on the clock *
1405
01:25:10,875 --> 01:25:14,415
*'Cause they tick, tick
tick, ticktock go and make
the boys give good stock *
1406
01:25:14,445 --> 01:25:16,875
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1407
01:25:16,915 --> 01:25:20,345
*When we at the set
no strings attached
'cause I'm on the rebound *
1408
01:25:26,495 --> 01:25:29,635
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1409
01:25:29,665 --> 01:25:32,605
*Make your back bounce
Make your back bounce *
1410
01:25:32,635 --> 01:25:35,645
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1411
01:25:35,665 --> 01:25:38,335
*Make your back bounce
Make your back bounce *
1412
01:25:39,645 --> 01:25:43,445
* [ Techno ]
1413
01:25:46,945 --> 01:25:50,045
*It was one of them nights
I had one of those things
about to go get my drink on *
1414
01:25:50,085 --> 01:25:52,595
*Knew I gotta get right
so I picked up my girls
in my truck *
1415
01:25:52,625 --> 01:25:55,095
*Cruisin' down the boulevard
1416
01:25:55,125 --> 01:25:57,165
*And then I pull up
to the club we hopped out
started walkin' *
1417
01:25:57,195 --> 01:25:59,735
*Pass the line
said we V.I.P. *
1418
01:25:59,765 --> 01:26:02,005
*Soon as we stepped in
chicks started talkin' *
*And then I said
1419
01:26:02,025 --> 01:26:05,525
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1420
01:26:05,565 --> 01:26:09,465
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1421
01:26:09,505 --> 01:26:12,975
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1422
01:26:13,005 --> 01:26:16,975
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1423
01:26:17,015 --> 01:26:18,985
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1424
01:26:19,015 --> 01:26:20,985
*Outside
*It's a different story
1425
01:26:21,015 --> 01:26:22,725
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1426
01:26:22,755 --> 01:26:24,625
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1427
01:26:24,655 --> 01:26:26,825
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1428
01:26:26,855 --> 01:26:28,665
*Outside
*It's a different story
1429
01:26:28,685 --> 01:26:30,685
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1430
01:26:30,725 --> 01:26:32,695
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1431
01:26:32,725 --> 01:26:34,525
*Gettin' more time
than insomniacs *
1432
01:26:34,565 --> 01:26:36,035
*It's a good thing
to rest of the cardiacs *
1433
01:26:36,065 --> 01:26:37,975
*Are trying to have
a good time with the partiac *
1434
01:26:37,995 --> 01:26:39,765
*Why the drummer gotta start
when they call the acts *
1435
01:26:39,805 --> 01:26:41,975
*And as I step in
put their bets in *
1436
01:26:42,005 --> 01:26:43,975
*They brace their weapons
'cause they feel threatened *
1437
01:26:44,005 --> 01:26:45,945
*Try to tell them they
don't wanna step outside *
1438
01:26:45,975 --> 01:26:48,015
*Have the kid put it under
*And then I said
1439
01:26:48,045 --> 01:26:51,145
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1440
01:26:51,175 --> 01:26:55,075
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1441
01:26:55,115 --> 01:26:58,785
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1442
01:26:58,815 --> 01:27:02,785
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1443
01:27:02,825 --> 01:27:04,795
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1444
01:27:04,825 --> 01:27:06,785
*Outside
*It's a different story
1445
01:27:06,825 --> 01:27:08,725
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1446
01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:10,605
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1447
01:27:10,635 --> 01:27:12,605
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1448
01:27:12,635 --> 01:27:14,475
*Outside
*It's a different story
1449
01:27:14,505 --> 01:27:16,505
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1450
01:27:16,535 --> 01:27:18,105
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1451
01:27:18,135 --> 01:27:19,865
*Gotta be a issue
Gotta be a problem *
1452
01:27:19,905 --> 01:27:22,005
*Just 'cause a chick got
more soul than Harlem *
1453
01:27:22,045 --> 01:27:23,945
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1454
01:27:23,975 --> 01:27:25,875
*I got chicks don't
get in their way *
1455
01:27:25,915 --> 01:27:27,655
*If you really wanted
you could get it done *
1456
01:27:27,685 --> 01:27:29,655
*But don't forget
I'm the premium *
1457
01:27:29,685 --> 01:27:31,655
*Don't let your mouth write up
a check you can't cash *
1458
01:27:31,685 --> 01:27:33,515
*You could get bounced
for talkin' trash *
*And I said
1459
01:27:33,555 --> 01:27:36,865
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1460
01:27:36,895 --> 01:27:40,865
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1461
01:27:40,895 --> 01:27:44,575
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1462
01:27:44,595 --> 01:27:48,565
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1463
01:27:48,605 --> 01:27:50,575
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1464
01:27:50,605 --> 01:27:52,145
*Outside
*It's a different story
1465
01:27:52,175 --> 01:27:54,075
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1466
01:27:54,105 --> 01:27:55,975
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1467
01:27:56,005 --> 01:27:57,975
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1468
01:27:58,015 --> 01:28:00,055
*Outside
*It's a different story
1469
01:28:00,085 --> 01:28:02,025
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1470
01:28:02,045 --> 01:28:03,945
*Outside
*You ain't got
nothin' for me *
1471
01:28:40,925 --> 01:28:43,565
* [ Techno ]
1472
01:28:47,625 --> 01:28:51,095
[ Inhales ]
1473
01:28:51,135 --> 01:28:53,235
Wear this for your
next dance, honey.
1474
01:28:53,265 --> 01:28:56,135
Thanks. Baa.
142381
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