Original subtitles

hey mate you're probably at work um

so I give you a buzz um

do my first pick up today

pretty excited

and I just want to let you know I appreciate all the advice and um

yeah I'll let you know how I go this afternoon

just give me a buzz back when you can

thanks mate bye

hey how you doing

take it you're my driver

I am your driver today ha ha ha

just making sure I wasn't jumping in with some

dodgy guy who was just stopping for a hello

yeah no

first day on the job so well

you're actually my first pick up

so really well

pretty exciting guess what

this is a whole day of first

this is the first day no shit

I'm not lying first time I've downloaded

I downloaded the app really thought I'd give it a go

yeah some of my friends use it a fair bit and yeah

well it's cheaper

much cheaper yeah

I guess so easier

yeah would you like a mint or something

oh no

no no

I'm good thanks

but yeah water

no no

I've got a drink you got a drink

all good yep

okay

so let's go

what a nice area around here huh

yeah it's not too bad

it's alright but pretty big houses

yeah

I guess so not too bad

yeah not too bad

I think you're a bit spoiled

really maybe I am

maybe I am maybe I'm not

maybe you're just not spoiled at all

yeah maybe I just live a tough life

I'm driving driving

you know

in Uber

alright alright

okay well

what I wanna do is could we actually just don't

instead of going this way first

can we just hang a right quickly

I need to stop and grab something from the servo

oh it's

uh what's the problem

well we're

we're supposed to go like stay on track

so it's like literally just around the corner

I've got allergies I've got hay fever

I'll do this one thing for you

but we're not supposed to do this

you'll get me in trouble and we don't want that

no we don't

no no

we definitely don't just right up here right

so we're not going a long way off track

no no

it's not too far okay

alright just I'll

I'll let you know where to go

just keep following the road sounds good

so what do you do for work

um yeah

a few different things um

yeah just keep myself busy

oh sorry

so you're going to the gym

no I just like wearing activewear makes me look like I train

ha ha ha ha actually

I do train I just haven't for a little while

but it is much more comfortable then I

I'm just not a girl who can ever wear jeans and stuff

I got my thigh to my waist to thigh ratio is way too yeah

disproportionate to fit jeans

yeah looks good though

thanks cool

so are you married

um

oh you know I've got a person

person yep

fair enough

it's bastard I think marriage is a little bit overrated

to be honest

seems to cause drama for all my friends the moment they sign the paper

yeah yes cool

I think marriage people no

married people

yeah have as much fun

do they all goes out the window

it seems that way my friends just all have boring

fucked up lives yeah

if we can just park that's cool

I'll run in okay

I'll grab some bits and pieces

okay and then we can get back on track

oh thank you

yeah cool and I'll take my trash

oh thanks so much

yeah no problem

really appreciate that oh

no problem ooh

well I'm glad it's not a problem now

cause you were a bit bitchy about it before

yeah I know

but you know what rules rules

we'll go the extra mile and stuff

oh thank you you're welcome

alright so okay

dying for something to eat

you like bananas huh

which way do you get back to the route

I guess look at your navigator

yeah I'm not

I guess go back that way no actually

you know this way

alright this way

so you didn't really tell me what uh

what you did what do you do for work

oh um

I

um

I'm a photographer oh okay

that's good yeah yeah I used to work at NASA

NASA so yeah

and then I was a surgeon for a while

so but NASA and the

so yeah you have some brains yeah

I was in uni for you were what

I was at university for like 15 years

are you old enough to have been in university for 15 years

yeah I started when I was 18

oh nice

yeah so I've had a few jobs since then

but I do um

now you're doing Uber yeah

Uber's good man

it's fun so again

I stopped doing Uber

because I had an accident while I was climbing Mount Everest

oh wicked yeah

very active yeah

quite athletic aren't you yeah

lived a pretty good life it's been fun

awesome and you were telling me I'm a spoiled

hmm yeah

you should be accustomed to the big houses then

yep oh shit right

just need to sort out some gear

are you taking me to some other location

that is not where you initially

like initially booked because we seem to be going off track again

um

it's

oh no

it's just a different way

it's better way

I know this area you

you know you just admitted to me you don't really know this area

so I'm just taking you a faster way okay

I know you probably appreciate the longer way

of course

GPS is a program to take you the long way every time

really how GPS do that anyway

did you learn that from NASA

sorry I need to get this for my social media

so

NASA and a surgeon and Mount Everest fuck

I've done it all very interesting

what do you think I just try and stay single girls make their headache

they're always chasing me they just want my money

well I guess the good thing is now that you're doing Uber

you'll give off a different vibe

so they won't chase you for your money

I I hope so

but that's why you shouldn't tell everyone that you've done that you

that you're so freaking accomplished

because then they're gonna think that you are loaded

which I assume I don't know

I can tell you're taking me somewhere else

we're way off track this isn't funny

you're gonna get me in so much trouble

I'm not gonna get you in trouble

this isn't even a limo service

this is this is Uber mate

we're supposed to go from point a to point B oh sorry

can you veer up that way yep

very good you're right on target right on track

right on track good awesome

now just go around the roundabout exit No. 3

and we will be at the place I want to go

which is the point to this whole thing

considering the money's coming out of my account

isn't it yeah

but we're way off track point a to point B man

you need to like not have your head so far in the rule book

Mister Safety poo I don't wanna get fired are you not gonna get fired

I'm restructured how do you think I got where I am

going to Everest oh sexy world oh sexy world hmm

how do you think I got where I am

you know brain surgeon working at NASA

climbing Everest without being structured

well maybe you need to unstructure for a minute de structure

good yup

yup yup I'm exactly where I want to be

we're gonna go into there where that big building is

I need to buy some camera gear

yeah because I'm a photographer remember yeah

ooh

cute

you're a legend now

brand no what I really need is can you do one more thing for me

oh what now do I just need to read the the app

well cause I've been to like 2 or 3 different places it's only 2

this is the second not 3

feels like 3

feels like you're just really taking advantage of this entire process

oh you wish I was taking advantage of the process anyway

I'm gonna go inside and I'd really appreciate if I can get a ride back

well

we're not even at that destination we're so far off track now well

we can go to that destination after you're awesome thank you

thank you don't leave okay

you're awesome thank you you're awesome getting shit done today

you are I know

do you do you want my banana

not really

not really the bananas yeah

that's cool I just take it well

don't mind clams though

yeah I'm not really down for that hey

I like that oh far out

I knew I recognize this girl from somewhere

Aubrey Black

MILF pornstar far out

holy shit

that was a bit of a mission

so huh

you ready oh yeah

I've been here for like 20

I was as fast as I could I don't even know if I get paid for this

we're so far off track mate

I can give you a tip oh OK

that sounds nice yeah

so it's not that much of an issue I think you actually

alright

but I really appreciate it

so thanks I don't really need a tip okay

how about um ah

how about we go on a date

no like you're my driver man

like can we just drive head left

left just cause I asked you to wait for a bit shit handsy yeah

hmm

straight ahead you know um

you know I know who you are right

well my name is um

on the request thing I am I believe

I know you're all be black

and I also know that your profession MILF pornstar

is a blacklisted with this company

um

that's discrimination and it's bullshit

well it's not like I'm actually doing anything right now

all I'm doing is getting a ride

it's not like what I'm doing is illegal yeah

so can you just continue driving please

this is getting really awkies

totally all I need to do

totally awkward all I need to do

please drive straight ahead

one push of the button

push of the button yeah

pushing my button right now

one push of the button blacklisted

I'll tell him who you are

why would you why are you being a dick

like you weren't sitting out there that long

we've been to two places we've wasted like 3:40 minutes

I mean yeah

2:40 minutes of our time I don't even know

it's not a waste you're getting paid for it

paid for it I told you I'd give you a tip yep

anyway that's only one tip I want mate

you're a you're a fucking piece of work

aren't you all smiles and sweetie pie

here's your fucking mint

do you want some water in your air conditioning

all that shit Mister fucking rocket scientist

can you just drive because this is I'm really uncomfortable

oh

I need to sleep I need to sleep oh my God

just just drive me home

please

don't be

you don't need to be a dick

Aubrey

Aubrey

where are we

wait

it's time

I know that I made a couple of stops when I know that it's time uh

that I get my tip

hey what

don't be dumb don't be dumb

please just

just do whatever errand it is you're here to do

I won't tell anyone that you stopped

and did it errand I don't wanna have to blacklist you

I told you or actually I didn't

I've lost my licence I can't drive at the moment and I need to get her

what

what the fuck do you mean

a quick BJ exactly

what are you laughing at that's not fucking funny

you're a hard comedian oh

come on dude

I don't want to blacklist you darling

you're actually joking hey

I'm not actually joking I'll show you that

I'm not actually joking you're joking

you're joking I'm absolutely

go run your errands go run your errands

fuck

the actual fuck

the actual fuck is that I've been going out of my way for you

it's the first day of the job

oh it wasn't

oh fucking hell come on

are you are you legit

well obviously you're fucking legit

you got a fucking big fucking dick sticking out of your pants

come on you scratch

scratch what I mean

I'll scratch your back you scratch mine

that ain't your back you help me

that's not your fucking back

you help me I help you

you help me that's just how it rolls

I don't blacklist you help you what

help you extract your fucking load

pretty much

come on

ugh what here

right here right now

are you you're a fucking comedian

hey I'll drive

but come on right here right now

fuck I wish there was another fucking service in the area like that

I can actually use cause I I hate fucking taxis

they stink the fucking assholes

all they talk about is your company and how they're competition

come on I'll do seatbelt don't fucking touch me man

come on man

you're a fuck you're a fuck you know what

what's another fucking dick right

I don't know I'll fucking show you mate you will show me yeah

and then then you're gonna drop me the fuck off

I will drop you off actually

I once once I'm done I I just off come on

oh gross

you're just fucking you're just fucking too much just a bit of fun

Aubrey bit of fun ha ha ha so much fun oh

oh shit

hmm oh

good girl

I have to hit every bump on the road

oh stop

oh yes

I have to be don't I you do

ah jerk that fucking jerk huh jerk that fucking jerk

hmm

can you look

what the fuck you do

fuck you good girl

Bos never used 51bce0c785ca2f6808

fuck you

oh my God

oh my God oh

my God

oh yeah

oh fuck yeah

oh fuck

oh fuck fuck whoo

oh yeah fucking happy for you mate

holy fuck oh lucky you've got some tissues in your car

feel free yeah

feel free to have yourself to a breath mint the complimentary

I also do have some hey do you wanna sell this online sparkling water

I've never thought of that sparkling yeah

let's actually you know what I think

shit

you know what I think actually

do you just pull over for a minute

just pull over no um

so I think I actually want to get out of here

I'm just gonna um I need cardio actually

oh you just gonna walk home yeah

I am you got your tip

I'm not gonna give you any other fucking tip for anything

oh so wow

hang on a minute just you can just wait for a moment

it's the least you can do

ugh

let me see

okay you can end the drive yeah

don't forget to give me a 5 star rating okay

five star rating you gotta just end the in the ride

you gotta push the button to end it don't you yeah

it does come up with the thing

hang on it's ah

check my fucking face

fucking destroyed

so help um 5 star rating

oh gross

I look all fucked up and smell like dick now

no fucking breath mint is gonna fix this

oh so what happens if I give you no stars

cause I think that might be what I'm about to do

don't do that

why what's wrong

cause it's my first day and if you don't get rated at least 4 stars

you don't have a job so but you're a rocket scientist

but I like driving for a living

I'm a surgeon yeah

and you climb Mount Everest yeah

you're fucking awesome so what's the point

so you don't need somebody to give you stars to know you're awesome

I do cause I need this job

you need it yeah I do

don't do it oh oh

thanks for the zip don't get you already had enough touchy feeling

don't do it

okay

alright

you know what I've got an idea you fucking fucker hmm

you see I think I think a little bit of fucking paybacks in order here

oh fuck

you think you're so freaking cool forcing me to suck on your dick

I think

I want you to drive please drive

where are we going now and don't it doesn't even fucking matter

oh fuck it's up to me where I wanna go right now

I'm calling the shots when you get no stars

I didn't see this coming oh no

you all you think about was you fucking come

hey

it's all you can think about try that one

this one yeah try that one

coming my hair

up my nose

oh

this is fucking cold

this is absolute cold really been all the way all the way

mm hmm all the way right up right up

Mr fucking safety poop more

more more

more more

watch that thing move yeah there we go

turn that fucking thing off

whose house is this none of your business and what are we doing here

none of your business

and why is the garage shutting

that's for me to know and you to find out

so payback's a fucking bitch and I can be a bitch too really yeah

happy first day on the job so what I'm thinking is

I need to rate you out of what 0 to 5

yeah for you to keep your job right

yeah yeah so I'm gonna rate you

I have not had

mine taken care of today

mm hmm

so I think you're going to have to

give me some alright

I don't just no just hold on a minute alright

act like you're you're a fucking pro already aye

I might have climb climb Mount Everest

yeah so you've told me a few times now

where the fuck are the buttons on your damn car seat

oh it's old school one down who would have thought

just you alright

so

so what I need you to do for me now is uh start off by

I like my nipples sucked very fuck very gently suck on that

yes suck on those big tits

make yourself this whole errands that 5 star rating

oh yeah hmm let me see that

hmm yeah hmm that's good

oh fuck you big tits

wow I don't know what you've Learned

that you're the same big one as last year

massive hmm

yeah that was it

oh man

oh fuck

you play with it a little bit

let's keep those little ones like that

do you like that pussy get it wet so you can fuck me good

hmm what's that

hmm leave those on

oh my God I think I left them

pull these pennies to the side

you can work your way out

I had to do that around the steering wheel hmm

fuck you did a good job I'm very juicy too

you know you're sucking up aren't you

let me hold that

can't eat that

sorry that little bitties I just remember

oh yeah

oh that's good yeah

that's how you earn those points

you earn that five stars that's full five stars oh

oh

oh

oh that's really good

it's really good oh

fuck yeah

keep going

oh

that's it

oh I need to put a finger in there

mmm

yeah finger that a little bit

start off slowly

start off slowly put a finger in there

yeah

oh yeah get that in

tight pussy

that's a very tight pussy

just finger that for a little bit

loosen it up so your dick fits in there

is you got a alright size cock attached to you

oh oh oh oh

oh oh

oh

oh

oh

oh yeah yeah yeah

oh

oh

oh

oh

oh oh fuck

hmm

oh my God oh

oh

oh

oh God fuck

oh yes suck on that little little yes

suck on that oh fuck

oh yes

it's that's exactly what I like oh

oh oh

oh yeah

take your fingers out

that's it

you like that

yeah hmm

have to say I do like your face in my pussy oh

I like fucking that face of yours

oh

hmm lay the seat back for me oh

not comfortable lay back hmm

oh fuck

it's juicy

oh you know what

I've got something in my handbag what

what fucking secrets do we got down here

hmm pass it up to me

hmm

I think maybe you should put this up my pussy and eat it out of it

really mm hmm

fucking hell don't you fuck me with this really

mm hmm at least not my pussy for you

hmm

holy fuck hmm

fuck those McDonald's

hmm hmm

you open it up oh shit

mmm hmm

oh yeah

oh dude

oh

that's it yes slowly keep it on there

oh

oh yeah

oh

oh

oh

oh oh oh

there you come oh oh

oh

fuck you know pushing it out

oh look at that

look at that fucking juice all over that fucking banana

you're a fucking

this was not what I was expecting on my first day of fucking work

hmm

haha

hmm

you should lick my pussy some more

that's it

you like that

hmm

oh yeah

I'm gonna put that in my pussy and you can eat it

let's see

oh

hmm hmm

oh fuck

hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm

oh my God fuck oh

my fucking car mum right there

ugh

hmm

oh fuck

oh fuck

oh oh

oh fuck

ah

no

no

oh my God look at my banana

hmm good fucking hmm look at that

hmm and eat banana all day

hmm

I think you better fuck me

what do you think

oh yeah

hmm eating bananas everything

what do you think

hmm what do you want me to do

yeah

oh fuck

I'm gonna fucking make a mess in my car

oh

she's gonna make a mess in my fucking car

oh

hmm hmm

oh you fucking

bitch you fucking bitch

hmm

you fucking bitch

what's

that what's that

spread that

spread that oh shit oh

fuck me Mister Driver

fuck me Mister Driver

oh I don't care what your fucking name is

I'm just gonna call you Mister fucking Driver oh

Mister 5 star huh

earn your fucking five stars oh

that's it that's it oh

make me come on your dick

oh baby oh

you make me come on your dick

fuck that big fucking fuck you oh

swollen pussy yes

make me drip everywhere 5 star huh

earn your fucking 5 stars fuck you

that's it oh

make me come on your dick oh

make me come on your dick

fuck that big fucking fuck yes oh

swollen pussy yes make me drip everywhere

oh oh

uh huh uh huh

oh shit

oh shit

oh shit oh I'm gonna come

oh oh

oh oh

oh my God

oh ah

ah ah

ah ah ah yeah yeah

yeah oh

oh oh oh

oh fuck oh

fuck you alright yeah

it's alright we're gonna have to crop that whole part out anyways

cause my gut looked horrible there

OK just fuck me from the front

huh

oh shit yeah it's really weird

oh shit ah

ah back and forth

back and forth on the fucking bitch

oh fuck

oh my God

oh fuck

oh

she's so fucking tight

she's so fucking tight

oh fuck

oh

yeah

take these off

you help me yeah

can that camera in the front see back here

yeah

is that one over there yep OK

that's it

oh fuck you

just slide that over my pussy

oh shit just

shit yes

oh oh

oh

shit

oh I'm really close that's so good

oh my Jesus

oh fuck

oh oh oh

oh shit

oh oh oh

oh oh

yes

oh fuck

fuck fuck my fucking pussy now

my fucking hole like that

ah

push me right there so I touch my fucking cervix yeah

oh

let me come

yeah

fuck you

oh

come here taste your fucking pussy on this dick

come here taste your pussy on this fucking dick

oh fuck you

hmm hmm

hmm hmm

hmm hmm hmm

hmm hmm

this is so fucking good

this is so fucking good yeah bring those balls to me

fuck you you like this car huh

yeah yeah

fuck this

you good mm hmm

oh fuck

oh God

oh fuck

what is that what is that what is that

oh oh oh

oh oh

oh oh

oh yeah

oh come on here we go

oh oh

damn

oh fuck oh fuck

oh fuck

oh yeah that's it

that's it that's it

there you go

fuck me fuck me hard

get your fucking points up

let's get your fucking points

oh fuck oh fuck

oh

oh that's me

oh fuck that's me

now it's my turn to come

fuck that

oh

you had yours earlier oh oh

sort yourself out I'm done so

I'll now go give you a rating

I'll give you five stars you don't blacklist me and uh

if you're an egg on that

I'll fucking find you because

I've got my ways

oh fuck thanks for the uh

5 star service

get the fuck out of here now

oh

fucking get the fuck out of here fuck

I'll take my shit with me yeah

what am I supposed to do I don't care

supposed to pick up other clients

oh well have fun with that

oh fuck

how's that