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1
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:04,803
- Dad says you told
him you're going
2
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,572
to write a book about a
movie star, Mr. Wilson.
3
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:07,573
Are you?
4
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,607
- That's right.
5
00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:10,542
The deal isn't set yet, but--
6
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,710
- Oh, boy.
7
00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:12,678
Which movie star you
going to write about?
8
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,879
Laurel and Hardy?
9
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,780
Yogi Bear?
10
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,515
I'd love to read about them.
11
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,049
- No.
12
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,450
No, Dennis.
13
00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,820
I'm going to do the life and
loves of Miss Norma Lamont.
14
00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:23,655
- Who?
15
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:27,226
- Well, here's a picture of her.
16
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:31,263
She's been retired for several
years now, but in her day,
17
00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:32,398
she was quite a siren.
18
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:34,566
- A siren?
- Yeah.
19
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:38,203
- Do you mean she
went-- [shrieking]?
20
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,138
- No.
21
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,172
No, no.
22
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:42,307
No Dennis, I didn't
mean that at all.
23
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:47,146
I mean she always played
the role of the temptress.
24
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:49,682
Uh, of the seductress.
25
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,483
The-- the vampire?
26
00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,285
- Oh, the vampire.
27
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,054
I saw that on television.
28
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,890
Boy, she came zooming into
the castle dressed like a bat,
29
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,792
and she bit Boris
Karloff in the neck.
30
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:00,693
- Oh, no.
31
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,161
That wasn't Miss Lamont.
32
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,595
- And then she zoomed out again.
33
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:13,539
Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom,
zoom, zoom, zoom--
34
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,541
- Zoom, zoom.
35
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,982
[theme music]
36
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:50,409
- And I'm going to
write to Miss Lamont
37
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,745
and tell her I want
$1,000 to do her memoirs.
38
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:53,912
- Good.
39
00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:56,382
She'll probably pay
it without a whimper.
40
00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:59,019
- Listen to this, I have
read all your articles
41
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,653
and can tell you are a
young and vigorous author
42
00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:03,822
with a youthful point of view.
43
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:10,062
[chuckling] And only a young man
can understand and truly write
44
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,865
the story of Norma Lamont.
45
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,601
- I'm glad this collaboration
is going to be a long distance
46
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,170
one, with her in New
York and you here.
47
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,906
- Yes, well, she's going to
send me a copy of her files,
48
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,375
and-- why are you glad?
49
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:26,211
- Because I couldn't trust
my young, charming husband
50
00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:27,646
with a glamorous actress.
51
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,114
- Oh, no.
52
00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,150
Now, you have nothing
to worry about.
53
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:31,817
- Oh.
54
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,118
- Oh, well, here now.
55
00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,953
Look at that picture.
56
00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:38,390
Now, you can't call
that face glamorous.
57
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,259
- That's not so bad, John.
58
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,895
She must have been
very beautiful.
59
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:43,896
- Oh.
60
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:47,566
Well, if I just put
a beard on this,
61
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:54,340
she'd be the spitting image
of, uh-- General Grant.
62
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,240
There.
63
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:57,110
Now, who does that look like?
64
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,748
- That's General Grant?
65
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:03,749
[doorbell]
66
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,651
- I'll get it.
67
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:13,625
It's a special delivery for you.
68
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:14,193
- Oh?
69
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,127
Who's it from?
70
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,062
- From General Grant herself.
71
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:17,730
- Oh.
72
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,100
Oh, let's see that.
73
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:27,072
Dear Mr. Wilson, I have
a wonderful surprise.
74
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:29,508
Instead of mailing the
material for my book,
75
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:31,377
I'm going to bring it to you.
76
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,511
- Bring it?
77
00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,413
- I'm flying out of
the coast, so thought
78
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,182
I'd stop over with you
for a couple of hours
79
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,584
Saturday afternoon.
80
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,618
- That's today.
81
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,787
- She's coming here to see me?
82
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:42,955
But she can't.
83
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,758
I mean, Louise-- Louise,
what am I going to do?
84
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,592
- Now, John.
85
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,626
John, dear, don't get so upset.
86
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:48,961
Everything will be all right.
87
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,829
- Yes, but she's expecting
a much younger man.
88
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,666
When she sees how old I
am, I won't get to do it.
89
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,435
- Oh, now, John dear,
you don't look so old.
90
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:57,103
For your age.
91
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,282
- Hm, I wonder.
92
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:13,686
Well, it isn't impossible.
93
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:17,357
Yes, by George, I'll do it.
94
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,795
- Hi, Mr. Krinkie.
95
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,230
- Well, hello there, boys.
- How's the newspaper business?
96
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,198
- Slow, Dennis.
97
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,434
You boys got any
news for me today?
98
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,202
- The only news I
know is that I passed
99
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,503
my arithmetic test yesterday.
100
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:34,406
- We both passed, and boy,
that's big news at my house.
101
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,742
- Sounds like a page
one story to me.
102
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:38,377
Anything else?
103
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,080
- Well, there's some news
at Mr. Wilson's house.
104
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,581
Mrs. Wilson just told
us a movie actress
105
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,650
is coming to see him today.
106
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,786
- Yeah, her name's Norma
Lamont, or something like that.
107
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,088
- Norma Lamont?
108
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,489
She's pretty famous.
109
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,725
What's she coming
to see Wilson for?
110
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,626
- He's gonna write
a book about her.
111
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:55,661
- Thanks a lot, boys.
112
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:57,730
That's a real scoop.
113
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,733
- If that's a scoop, I guess
that makes us reporters, huh?
114
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,601
- It certainly does.
115
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,037
- How much do reporters make?
116
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,171
- Oh.
117
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:09,908
Well, I usually pay my
men, uh, $0.10 apiece.
118
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:10,876
There you are.
119
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:11,777
- Gee, thanks, Mr. Krinkie.
120
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:14,179
- Boy.
Thanks, Mr. Krinkie.
121
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,614
Boy, Dennis.
That was quick thinking.
122
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:20,486
- You gotta think quick in the
newspaper business, Tommy.
123
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,655
- And I'm here on this
errand for a friend of mine,
124
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,758
sort of a favor, you see.
125
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,092
- Yes, what may I
do for you, sir?
126
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:30,562
- Well, he has this gray
hair around the temple here.
127
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:31,463
[phone ringing]
128
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:32,598
- Excuse me.
129
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:35,134
Andre's beauty salon?
130
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:39,538
Um, your appointment
is at, yes, 2:15.
131
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:40,706
Thank you very much.
132
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,075
Good day.
133
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,343
Now, you were saying, I'm sorry.
134
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,477
- Oh.
135
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:46,912
Yes, about the gray
hair at the temple.
136
00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:50,616
I-- well, not this gray hair, of
course, but gray hair like it.
137
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:51,917
- Yes, I understand.
138
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,318
- Yeah.
139
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:55,087
Well, I told him that I'd come
down here and buy some dye
140
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,555
and learn how to use it.
141
00:05:56,556 --> 00:06:01,293
Then he can touch up his gray
hair, make it black again.
142
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,628
- Oh.
143
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,030
Well, now this is an excellent
preparation, Mister, uh--
144
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:05,531
- Wilson.
145
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,199
John Wilson.
146
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,068
That's for that friend of
mine, of course, not for me.
147
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,403
- Yes, I understand.
148
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:12,939
- Well, I'll take some of that.
149
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:16,041
- And this really should be done
by a professional, Mr. Wilson.
150
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:16,842
- A professional?
151
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,110
- Yes.
152
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:20,145
Mr. Andre could do a
beautiful job on your hair.
153
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,113
- What?
154
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,081
But that isn't for me.
155
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,449
It's for this friend of mine.
156
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,184
He's going to die
my hair myself.
157
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,485
His hair myself.
158
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,886
Himself.
159
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,322
Here, keep the change.
160
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:37,629
- Hi, Mr. Wilson.
161
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,464
- Oh.
162
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,732
Hello, boys.
163
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,134
- What you been doing in the
beauty shop, Mr. Wilson?
164
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,069
- Uh, nothing, Tommy.
Nothing.
165
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,871
- Hair dye.
166
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:48,440
- What do you want with
hair dye, Mr. Wilson?
167
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,508
- Never mind, Tommy.
168
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,844
I got it because--
well, that is, I--
169
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,812
- He probably bought it
for his wife, Tommy.
170
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,080
What else?
171
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,181
Right Mr. Wilson?
172
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,349
- Right, Dennis.
173
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,484
Oh, bless your little heart.
174
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,552
You never were so right.
175
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:03,222
Are you boys on
your way home now?
176
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,289
- Yes, sir.
177
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,557
Is there something
we can do for you?
178
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,558
- There certainly is.
179
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,093
Mrs. Wilson is waiting for this.
180
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,929
Would you get it
to her right away?
181
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,732
I'd just as soon not carry
it around downtown here.
182
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,668
- Afraid you might lose it, huh?
183
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:16,869
- You're absolutely right.
184
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,872
Tell her I'll be home
in a couple of hours.
185
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,540
Well, now I'm going
to the men's shop
186
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,509
and get myself youthful-ized.
187
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:29,682
Yes, youthful-ized.
188
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,584
- What does youthful-ized
mean, Tommy?
189
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:33,452
- I don't know.
190
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,820
I guess it means
getting younger.
191
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,456
- Boy, he sure is
starting off late.
192
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,228
Uh-oh.
193
00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:44,096
- Oh, brother.
194
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,531
Now what'll we do?
195
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,932
- Well, I didn't mean to, Tommy.
196
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,534
It just slipped
right out of the box.
197
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,636
- Mr. Wilson will have a fit.
198
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,437
- Yeah.
199
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:52,871
I wonder how much it costs.
200
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,239
- It costs a lot.
201
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,710
Mom uses it all the time
and-- hey, I know what.
202
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:58,243
- What?
203
00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,111
What, Tommy?
204
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,412
What?
205
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,613
- Well, she just got a new
bottle that she hasn't even
206
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,048
opened yet.
207
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:05,017
We'll put it in this box here
and give it to Mrs. Wilson.
208
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,452
She'll never know
the difference.
209
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,653
- Boy, that'll save our life.
210
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,421
Let's clean up this mess,
and then we'll get it.
211
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:21,301
- Louise?
212
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,609
- John!
213
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,245
- Meet the new John Wilson.
214
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:33,947
Well?
215
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,115
What do you think?
216
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,084
- Well, I think you better
stay inside off the streets
217
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:40,786
before somebody sees you.
218
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,855
- You don't like it?
- Well, no.
219
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,156
Frankly I don't.
220
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:47,593
- Well, dressing younger
makes me feel younger.
221
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,828
Instead of a middle
aged author, I rather
222
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,797
feel like an angry young man.
223
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,133
- You know, if somebody
sold me a suit like that,
224
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,934
I'd be angry too.
225
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:59,071
- Well, just wait till I finish
my youthful-izing process.
226
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,339
You'll see.
227
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,708
When I get rid of the gray
hair and-- oh, by the way,
228
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,277
did Dennis bring home
a bottle of dye for me?
229
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,445
- Yes, dear.
It's in the kitchen.
230
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,414
Now really, John,
isn't that being silly?
231
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,516
I mean, dying your hair?
232
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,518
- Now, Louise,
business is business.
233
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:16,388
If Miss Lamont wants a young
author, I'll be a young author.
234
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,924
There's a lot of
money involved here.
235
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,258
- Well, I wish I
could help you, dear,
236
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,026
but I'm due at the
dentist's office right now.
237
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:21,760
I've got to run.
238
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:22,895
- Well, don't worry about me.
239
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,296
You go right ahead.
240
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,665
When you get back, I'll be
so young you may not even
241
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:27,900
recognize me.
242
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,368
- Don't worry, dear.
243
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,370
I'll recognize you.
244
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:58,897
- Oh, you are a
handsome devil, John.
245
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,800
[humming]
246
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,905
Let's not just do the
temples, Johnny boy.
247
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,175
Let's take all the gray
out while we're at it.
248
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:52,218
What the-- great Christopher.
Eloise!
249
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,789
Eloise!
Eloise.
250
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,557
Eloise.
[doorbell]
251
00:10:58,558 --> 00:10:59,625
- She went to the dentist.
252
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,392
Come in.
253
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,360
No, don't.
254
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,728
- Hi, Mr. Wilson.
255
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,597
I just came over to
tell you-- jeepers,
256
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,766
what happened to your hair?
257
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:10,636
- That dye I got from the
beauty shop ruined it.
258
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,071
oh, what a mess.
259
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:14,273
- You mean the dye I brought
home for Mrs. Wilson?
260
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,641
- It wasn't for Mrs. Wilson.
261
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,176
It was for me.
262
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,577
Now please, Dennis, go home.
263
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,979
I'm in trouble enough.
264
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,613
- I'd love to go
home, Mr. Wilson.
265
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,883
But first there's
something I gotta tell you.
266
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,118
- Honestly, Dennis.
267
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,786
I don't know how you
manage to do these things.
268
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,488
- Jeepers, I didn't
mean to do it, Dad.
269
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:32,257
Like I told Tommy, it just
slipped right out of the box.
270
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,760
- Well, it's all beside
the point now, Henry.
271
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,762
Miss Lamont will be here at
any moment, and look at me.
272
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:37,763
I'm a mess.
273
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,098
- Well, frankly
John, I don't know
274
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,200
why you wanted to darken
your hair in the first place.
275
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,768
You look very
distinguished with the--
276
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,870
- I was trying to look younger.
277
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:48,907
Miss Lamont expects a young
author, somebody about-- well,
278
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,275
about your age.
279
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,212
- Hey, I got a swell
idea, Mr. Wilson.
280
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:56,448
- What do you want me to do
now, paint my ears green?
281
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,117
- Oh, I don't think
that would help much.
282
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:02,054
But it might help if Dad
took your place today.
283
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,856
- Took my place?
- Sure.
284
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,158
The lady's never seen
either one of you,
285
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,061
and she's expecting
somebody Dad's age.
286
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:09,963
- How about it, Henry?
287
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:10,629
- Oh, no.
288
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,897
I couldn't.
289
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,399
- Well, she'll only be here
for a couple of hours.
290
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,067
Then she leaves town.
291
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,301
- I'd never fool that woman.
292
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:17,703
I'm no actor.
293
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,805
- How do you know you're not?
294
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,073
No, no.
295
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,074
Now look, why don't
you pretend that you're
296
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:22,875
meeting Miss Lamont?
297
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,743
Say, how do you do?
298
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,545
I'm John Wilson.
- How do you do?
299
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,880
I'm John Wilson.
300
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,315
- And you say you're no actor.
301
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,485
Why, Laurence Olivier couldn't
have handled that line better.
302
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,420
- Really?
303
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:35,387
- Come on, now.
304
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,488
Help me out.
305
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,556
Do it?
306
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:40,359
- Well, it-- it might
be kind of fun.
307
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,761
All right, I'll try it.
308
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,131
- I always knew you'd come
in handy sometime, Dad.
309
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,941
- She's coming up the
walk now, Mr. Wilson.
310
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,844
- Oh, I'll be in the dining
room, if you need me.
311
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,346
- I'll get rid of her
just as fast as I can.
312
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,949
- Sit down at the desk and
look like a writer, Dad.
313
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,783
I'll let her in.
314
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,153
[doorbell]
315
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:10,689
- Is this the residence
of John Wilson?
316
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,857
- Yes, ma'am.
317
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:14,059
He's expecting you,
if you're Miss Lamont.
318
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,227
- I'm she, darling.
319
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,895
Are you an offspring of his?
320
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:17,596
- No, ma'am.
321
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,064
I live next door to him.
322
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,065
Come on in.
323
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,067
- Thank you, darling.
324
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,707
- Here's Miss Lamont.
325
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,909
- Oh, how do you do?
326
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,611
I'm John Wilson.
327
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,380
- Hey, you said that good.
328
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,348
- Won't you sit
down, Miss Lamont?
329
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:40,285
- Bless you, darling.
330
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,387
- It's her, Mr. Wilson.
331
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:41,988
It's her.
332
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:42,621
- I know it's her.
333
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:43,322
I know.
334
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,457
Keep your voice down.
335
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,596
- Is that the material on
your life, Miss Lamont?
336
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,564
- Just the high spots.
337
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,200
I really lived, darling.
338
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,769
- Well, I know you're
a very busy woman,
339
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:58,103
so we'll just have
a short discussion--
340
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:03,777
- Before we discuss anything,
let me look at you.
341
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,747
- Anything wrong?
342
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:15,054
- No, you're just what I wanted--
young and a wee bit innocent.
343
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:15,555
- Oh, fine.
344
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:24,964
- Now, let's get on with the
mercenary details, darling.
345
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,367
How much do you expect to
be paid for writing my life.
346
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,706
- Would $100 be too much?
347
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:36,675
- Oh, no. [inaudible].
348
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:37,443
- I'm going out there.
349
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,610
- But Mr. Wilson, she'll--
350
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:39,678
- I know what I'm doing.
351
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,548
Just be quiet.
352
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:46,085
- I'm glad to find
you're so reasonable.
353
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,420
Most men are so unreasonable.
354
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,588
- Oh?
355
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,290
- Uh, pardon the interruption.
356
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,725
- Who are you, darling?
357
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,660
- I'm John Wilson's
lawyer, and I seem
358
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,996
to have arrived just
at the right moment.
359
00:14:57,097 --> 00:15:00,299
My client did not mean
that price of $100.
360
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:02,101
- He said it.
361
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,304
- Well, you know how writers
are, their heads in the clouds,
362
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,472
no thoughts about money.
363
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,507
- Oh, that's me, all right.
364
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,509
- What he intends to
do is write your life
365
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,846
in 10 chapters at
$100 per chapter.
366
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,547
That's roughly $1,000.
367
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,517
- Very roughly.
368
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,452
I'll pay him 500.
369
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,453
He'll take it.
370
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,755
He doesn't like to bicker.
371
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,089
Do you, John?
372
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,791
- Well, you're the doctor.
373
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:29,128
- No, Mr. Wilson's your lawyer.
374
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,529
- Wilson?
375
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,399
- Oh, I'm-- I'm also his brother.
376
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,067
- Yes, my brother, Henry.
377
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,070
- What a cozy arrangement.
378
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,172
- Well, that's why I came
in without knocking.
379
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,075
My brother's house is
just like my house.
380
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,310
- Yeah, just like.
381
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:48,180
- Is that why you
keep your hat on?
382
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,715
- Oh, the hat.
383
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:53,585
Well, I wear it because
I'm subject to head colds.
384
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,087
And neuralgia.
385
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,690
I also have a sinus condition.
386
00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:01,928
- Oh, you're in foul
shape, darling.
387
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,328
- Yes.
388
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,532
Well, now that I'm here, can
I clear up any other points?
389
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,700
- No.
390
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,668
No, I'd rather be alone
with your brother.
391
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:10,703
- Oh, of course.
392
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:15,040
Very nice meeting
you, Miss Lamont.
393
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:18,177
- You are much nicer than
your brother-- not so
394
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,479
used-up looking.
395
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,449
- Thanks.
396
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,452
Well, now we can start
looking over the material.
397
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,887
- Must the little
ragamuffin stay with us?
398
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,556
He has a home, hasn't he?
399
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:31,958
- Well--
400
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:33,525
- Oh, I don't want to go home.
401
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,060
My father's a mean man.
402
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:37,363
He starves me and beats me.
403
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,764
- That's enough about
your father, Dennis.
404
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:39,665
Now, run along.
405
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,066
- OK.
406
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,902
Jeepers, I was enjoying this.
407
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,708
- Now we can really get on
with it, just the two of us.
408
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,478
- Yes, I'm-- I'm anxious to
get started on some of this--
409
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,080
- Oh, hello.
410
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,082
- Sweetheart, you're home.
411
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,283
- Yes--
412
00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,651
- Darling, I'd like you to
meet Miss Norma Lamont.
413
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,854
Miss Lamont, this is my wife.
414
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,757
- How do you do, Mrs. Wilson?
415
00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:07,026
- How about a little hug, honey?
416
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:07,927
John's in the dining room.
417
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,129
I'm taking his place.
418
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,897
Uh, Miss Lamont and I
are talking business.
419
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,500
I think you can find
something to keep you busy.
420
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,404
- Uh, oh-- how do you do?
421
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,715
- John, what is going on here?
422
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:33,218
Why is Henry taking your place?
423
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,854
- Promise you won't laugh?
- I promise.
424
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,098
That's the last
promise I'll ever make.
425
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:54,840
- Now, we can get back to this.
426
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,210
- Imagine your father
doing a thing like that.
427
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,012
I wish I could see
his performance.
428
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:00,846
- You can see it, Ma.
429
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,381
Come over and be Mrs. Wilson.
430
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,283
She's at the dentist today.
431
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,718
- No, I'll keep out of it.
432
00:18:05,719 --> 00:18:07,720
- I guess that would be all
right with Miss Lamont.
433
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:10,022
- She wanted me to
get out of there
434
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,424
so she could be alone with Dad.
435
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,460
- Oh?
436
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,562
That was a good idea
of yours, Dennis.
437
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,464
I will be Mrs. Wilson.
438
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:19,698
Come on.
439
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,667
- I think the first
chapter of my life
440
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,036
should start with
where I was born.
441
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,304
How does that strike you?
442
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,672
- Well, it's a good suggestion.
443
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:28,040
- Bless you, darling.
444
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:31,643
Now, where should I be born?
445
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,544
Paris?
446
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,380
Rome?
447
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,715
Or possibly Tahiti.
448
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,651
- Well, where were you born?
449
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,653
- Sheboygan, Wisconsin.
450
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:45,424
But Sheboygan's not really me.
451
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,826
[doorbell]
452
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,795
- Hey, look who I met outside.
453
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:53,299
Mrs. Wilson.
- Darling.
454
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,771
- Hello, dear.
455
00:18:58,772 --> 00:19:01,006
- And you must be Norma Lamont.
456
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,008
- There's no doubt
about that, darling.
457
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,477
But you are Mrs. Wilson?
458
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,112
- Well, you see--
459
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,048
- I certainly am.
460
00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,650
- Well, here we go again.
461
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,652
- It's so nice to meet you.
462
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,256
I've enjoyed your pictures ever
since I was just a little girl.
463
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:24,263
- Lover, I've been
waiting for you.
464
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,264
You're my wife.
465
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:27,733
Don't ask any questions.
466
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,501
I'm sorry to break
in like this, but I
467
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,803
told Alice to meet me here.
468
00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:32,404
Don't you want to go and
see your sister-in-law?
469
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,872
Come along.
470
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,342
Here.
471
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,811
- So she's your brother's wife.
472
00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:41,480
For a moment I didn't
know what was going on.
473
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:42,848
- I know just how you feel.
474
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,584
- She kissed you
very affectionately.
475
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,253
- Well, we're a very
affectionate family.
476
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,289
Don't you kiss your
sister's husband?
477
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:54,693
- If I had a sister, she wouldn't
let me near her husband.
478
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,061
- Well, with all
these interruptions,
479
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,262
why, it must be
time for you to go.
480
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:57,796
You can just leave
this material with me--
481
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:58,530
- No, no, no.
482
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,566
We still have time.
483
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,767
We can carry on till--
484
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:05,170
[doorbell]
485
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:09,108
- Tell them to come
back later, Dennis.
486
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:10,275
- Hi, Mr. Krinkie.
487
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:11,744
- Hi, Dennis.
488
00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,012
We came over to interview Miss
Lamont and get some pictures.
489
00:20:13,013 --> 00:20:14,079
Is she here?
490
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,382
- Yes, but she can't
see you right now.
491
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,716
You better come back later.
492
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,084
A lot later.
493
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,120
- She'll make time for the press.
494
00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:23,122
- I couldn't keep them
out, Miss Lamont.
495
00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:24,256
- Indeed.
496
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,591
Well, I don't know
who these people are,
497
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,725
but they have no right--
498
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,727
- We're from the
newspaper, Miss Lamont.
499
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,130
- Oh, the newspaper.
500
00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:33,432
Bless you, darling.
501
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,767
- It's Krinkie.
502
00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:35,934
He'll spill everything.
503
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,302
You girls go out
there and see if you
504
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,838
can help Henry get rid of him.
505
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,243
- Miss Lamont has to leave soon.
506
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,145
You better get your interview
and run along, Krinkie.
507
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,547
- OK, grab a picture, Bill.
508
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,552
- Oh, hello, Mrs. Wilson.
509
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,520
- Hello, Mr. Krinkie.
510
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:55,654
- Hello, Mrs.--
511
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,755
- We've never seen a
newspaper interview.
512
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,157
We came to watch.
513
00:20:58,158 --> 00:20:59,558
- Oh, be my guest.
514
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,794
Understand Wilson's doing
some writing for you.
515
00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:06,165
- Yes, he's agreed to write
the fabulous story of my life.
516
00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:08,934
- Good, how about a picture
of you with Wilson?
517
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,469
- Splendid.
518
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,972
- I think you should take
another picture of Miss Lamont
519
00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:13,973
by herself.
520
00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:15,207
- We just took one.
521
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,109
- Well, I think you
should take her profile.
522
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,210
She's famous for it.
523
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:19,878
- Yes, it's so lovely.
524
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,413
- Sweet of you to notice, dear.
525
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:26,518
- OK.
526
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,886
Now, let's get Wilson.
527
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,155
- You haven't taken the
back of her head yet.
528
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:32,157
- I'd rather have one
with Mr. Wilson now.
529
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,225
Come, darling.
530
00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:36,095
- No, I want Wilson,
not Mitchell.
531
00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:37,696
- Mitchell?
532
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:40,466
- Yeah, where's your
husband, Mrs. Wilson?
533
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,767
- Oh, I give up.
534
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,736
He's in there.
535
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:46,705
- I should have known it.
536
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:50,175
Let me handle this.
537
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:51,811
You and your aging brother.
538
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:04,256
- Do-- do you need
any legal advice?
539
00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:06,493
- No, but I think you're
going to, darling.
540
00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:19,838
- Please don't be angry
with him, Miss Lamont.
541
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,440
He's really a fine writer.
542
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,909
- Yes, he just wanted you
to think he was young.
543
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:27,346
- Well, I was so
anxious to do the story
544
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,081
of your fabulous life.
545
00:22:29,082 --> 00:22:32,117
- Well, you definitely
won't do it now.
546
00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:33,385
- Wait a minute, Miss Lamont.
547
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,187
If you wanted a young
man, you couldn't
548
00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,222
get one younger than Mr. Wilson.
549
00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:38,590
- Oh, come now.
550
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:42,227
He's no juvenile under
that two-tone top.
551
00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,829
- I don't mean on the outside.
552
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:45,330
That doesn't count.
553
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,732
He's young inside.
554
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,100
- Really?
555
00:22:48,101 --> 00:22:49,301
- He's my very best friend.
556
00:22:49,302 --> 00:22:52,104
We get along just like
we were the same age.
557
00:22:52,105 --> 00:22:54,440
- Oh, likes children, huh?
558
00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:57,743
Well, I suppose he has
some good qualities, but--
559
00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:00,713
- And not only that, he thinks
you're beautiful and kind
560
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:02,881
and the best actress
in the world.
561
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,783
- He does?
562
00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:06,953
- Oh, I do, I do, I do.
563
00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:08,687
- You're his very favorite star.
564
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:11,056
- You are, you are, you are.
565
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:14,226
- Well, perhaps I have
been too hasty, darling.
566
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,928
If that's the way
you feel about me,
567
00:23:15,929 --> 00:23:18,764
you should write my life story.
568
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,132
- Oh, thank you, Miss Lamont.
569
00:23:20,133 --> 00:23:20,833
Thank you.
570
00:23:20,834 --> 00:23:22,668
And thank you, Dennis.
571
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:23,970
- He's crazy about
you, Miss Lamont.
572
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,438
He even keeps a picture
of you in his desk.
573
00:23:26,439 --> 00:23:28,975
- I do, I do, I do.
574
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:29,476
Dennis.
575
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:39,952
- So this is what
you think of me.
576
00:23:39,953 --> 00:23:41,754
- I don't think you look
like General Grant.
577
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:42,821
It's all a mistake.
578
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:44,423
You see, I can explain.
579
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:45,657
- Don't bother, darling.
580
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:48,227
You are not going to
write my life story.
581
00:23:48,228 --> 00:23:49,361
- Miss Lamont.
582
00:23:49,362 --> 00:23:50,796
- You're too young.
583
00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:53,133
In fact, you're in
your second childhood.
584
00:23:58,638 --> 00:23:59,372
Good day.
585
00:24:07,414 --> 00:24:08,480
- Jeepers.
586
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:09,748
No wonder she's mad.
587
00:24:09,749 --> 00:24:13,619
You made her look just
like General Grant.
588
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,754
- Well, at least I
was right about that.
589
00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,222
- Oh, never mind, John.
590
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,291
You'll get plenty of other jobs.
591
00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:21,193
- Of course you will.
592
00:24:21,194 --> 00:24:22,695
- Yeah, you've got
a lot of talent.
593
00:24:22,696 --> 00:24:24,363
- You sure have, Mr. Wilson.
594
00:24:24,364 --> 00:24:25,965
You're a swell artist.
595
00:24:26,066 --> 00:24:27,099
- Artist?
596
00:24:27,100 --> 00:24:28,100
- Yeah.
597
00:24:28,101 --> 00:24:29,401
With talent like
this, you don't have
598
00:24:29,402 --> 00:24:31,437
to worry about losing
your job writing articles.
599
00:24:31,438 --> 00:24:35,708
You can draw pictures
for the comic books.
600
00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:37,711
[laughter]
601
00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,619
[theme music]
602
00:25:29,396 --> 00:25:33,166
NARRATOR: This has been a
Screen Gems film production.
41533
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