All language subtitles for Dennis.the.Menace.1959.S04E25.Dennis.and.the.Homing.Pigeons.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Dooky_track1_[eng]

- Boy, that old Mulligan
house sure is spooky,

isn't it, Tommy?

- Yeah, I'll say.

Dad said Old Man Mulligan
disappeared one night,

and no one ever saw him again.

You reckon his
ghost is in there?

- Heck, I don't
believe in ghosts.

- Me either.

Did you ever see one?

- Well, I thought I did once.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I woke up hungry one
night and went downstairs

to raid the icebox.

And right at the
foot of the stairs

I saw something tall and
white coming right at me.

- Gosh, what was it?

- It was my dad.

He'd been raiding
the icebox too.

[theme music]

- Boy, those pigeons
sure can eat.

- Yeah.

That's all they ever do.

Jeepers.

Look at that.

You're not a lady,
are you, lady?

- You guessed it, kid.

- And that's not a baby, is it?

- I was 20 years ago.

- Gee, how come you're
dressed up like that?

- Oh, we're being initiated
into a fraternity

over at the college.

- Do you have to do it?

- We do if we want to be members.

- Let's go, Mom.
We've got to keep moving.

- Boy, that's a fine way
for college men to act.

- Yeah.

And our folks think
we play silly games.

Tommy?

I just had an idea
about these pigeons.

- What?

- Remember the ones we read
about in our history class?

They carried messages way
back during the first big war

when we were
fighting the kaiser.

- Do you think these
could carry messages?

- Why not?
They're pigeons, aren't they?

- Hey, that's a keen idea.

We could fetch a couple
of them and send messages

to each other.

- But before we catch
them, we've got

to find out if they
belong to anybody.

- That's right.

They're not our pigeons.

- Well, they ought to be.

They've got so much of
our popcorn in them.

- Well, it's nice to hear
from you again, Mr. Mathews.

How are things on Wall Street?

- Oh, fine, fine.

I called to give you that tip
on the market I promised you,

the stock that's going
sky-high right now.

- Wonderful, wonderful.

- Now, listen carefully.

I'm on my way to catch
a plane to Europe,

and I want you to have
this before I leave.

Now, the stock to buy is
Consolidated Development

and Research Industries.

- Ah.

Consolidated Research and
Industrial Development.

- No.

The name of the stock is
Consolidated Development

and Research Industries.

Now, be sure you don't get
it confused with Amalgamated

Research and Development
Research Consolidated.

- Oh.

Uh, the one I want is
Industrial Research

and Development Amalgamated.

- You're not listening, Wilson.

You'd better write this down.

- Oh.

Very-- very well, Mr. Mathews.

Now let me have that again.

Consolidated Development
and Research Industries.

Yeah.

Uh, may I share this tip with
my neighbor, Henry Mitchell?

- Well, do whatever you like.

The important thing
is to buy quickly.

Otherwise, it'll go up so
fast, you'll get left behind.

- I'll get on it right away.

And thank you very
much, Mr. Mathews.

Have a nice trip.

- Thank you.

- Goodbye.

Wait 'til Henry
Mitchell hears this.

Our fortunes are made.

- I'm sure glad you
came by, Sgt. Mooney.

You can help us.

- Why, you got somebody
you want arrested,

like maybe your school teacher?

[chuckling]

- No.

We want to know who
these pigeons belong to.

- Those moochers?

They don't belong to anybody.

They're public pests.

Why?

- Well, we just wondered
if they had a home.

- Oh, not them.

During the day, they hang around
the park, begging for handouts.

At night, they roost in
the old Mulligan house.

- Boy, they sure
picked a scary roost.

- Whatever happened to Old
Man Mulligan, Sgt. Mooney?

- Well, nobody
really knows, Tommy.

He was a strange sort of duck.

Used to own a little circus.

- Yeah, Dad told me about him.

- Then the big circuses
put him out of business.

He shut himself up
in the old house,

and that's the last
anybody ever saw of him.

- I wouldn't roost there
even if I was a pigeon.

- Well, I've got to be on my way.

Keep out of trouble, boys.

- Bye, Sgt. Mooney.

It's OK, Tommy.

Nobody owns the
pigeons, so we can

start our own message service.

- How are we going to
catch the pigeons?

- I know.

We'll put some popcorn on the
ground, put a box over it,

and raise it up with a stick
that has a string on it.

- But to risk all our savings--

- Alice, this isn't a risk.

It-- uh, let me show you here.

Now, look.

Suppose you buy one share
of stock-- just one,

mind you-- at $10.

You will hold it for a week,
and it's worth $90 or $100.

- Well, you see, Alice?

I've already made
$80 or-- or $90.

- But that's just the beginning.

If you buy 50 shares of stock
and wait 'til it's worth $100,

then you're really making money.

- Say, that's great.

This could run
into the thousands.

- As long as Mr. Wilson doesn't
break his pencil point.

- Now put him in here
with mine, Tommy.

There we go.

Boy, that was easy.
- Yeah.

The only hard part was
keeping the others out.

- Now all we need is a pencil and
paper to write our messages on.

You got any?
TOMMY (OFFSCREEN): Say--

- Hey, I know where we can get
some paper-- from Mrs. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson's a writer.

He's got all kinds of paper.

You watch the pigeons.

- And what size paper
do you need, dear?

- Sort of small, Mrs. Wilson.

- Oh.

Well, I think I
have just the thing.

Here's a scratch pad.

And here's a pencil.

You can keep them.

Mr. Wilson has
more than he needs.

- Gee, thanks.

Tell Mr. Wilson any
time he wants a favor,

I'll do one for him.

- All right.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- There we are, Henry.

At a conservative
estimate, that's

how much money we could make.

- Wow, we'll be on easy street.

- I brought some more
coffee, Mr. Wilson.

Or do we millionaires
only drink champagne?

[chuckling]

- Thank you, Alice.

I'll have some coffee.

Then I'll get home and see if
Eloise is back from shopping.

She doesn't know
the great news yet.

Well, here's to the
stock that will put us

in the highest
bracket, Consolidated

Industry and
Research Development.

- I thought you said
it was Consolidated

Research and
Industrial Development.

- Yeah, well,
something like that.

- Look, gosh, we ought
to know for sure.

- Now, don't worry, Henry.

I have the name safely written
down on a pad on my desk.

- I got him!
I got him!

Now we'll write our messages.

I'll do mine first.

Hey.

There's something already
written on this page.

- Well, tear it up
and use the next one.

- No.

I'll write on the
back of this one.

That's what Mr. Wilson would do.

He's always telling
me not to waste stuff.

Now we each take a pigeon
home, tie a message on him,

and then turn him loose, right?
- Right.

Then we'll meet up
back here in the park

and pick up the messages.

- Gee, I thought they'd deliver
them right to our houses.

- We'll train them
to do that later.

Now write your message.

- You-- you-- you gave
that pad to Dennis?

- Why are you getting so excited?

It was only a cheap scratch pad.

- That cheap scratch
pad had something

of vital importance
written on it.

- Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry,
dear, I didn't know.

- We'll, I'll have to get it
back from him right away.

- That note looks good and tight.

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Dennis!

- I'm back here, Mr. Wilson.

OK, boy, you're just about ready
to make your first delivery.

- Dennis.

- Hi, Mr. Wilson.

See this pigeon?

- Never mind the pigeon.
Never mind.

Do you have that writing
pad my wife gave you?

- Yes, sir, I've got it.

- Thank heaven.

Where is it?

- It's in my pocket.

- Oh.

Well, let that silly bird
go and give it to me.

- OK.
- H-- hurry.

Hurry.

There we are.

Uh, I-- I made a note
on the first page.

I can't find it.

- Oh, I tore it off and
wrote a message to Tommy

on the other side.

- All right, give that to me.

- Oh, I can't, Mr. Wilson.

It's on that pigeon
that just flew away.

- On that pigeon?

Oh, great Christopher!

- I sure didn't mean to cause
all this trouble, Mr. Wilson.

- Well, why didn't you try to
spot yours when it landed?

Now, which one of the two birds
with the paper tied to them

is yours?

- The gray and blue one.

- Well, they're both
gray and blue, son.

- Yes, sir.

But mine has more gray,
and Tommy's has more blue.

Right, Tommy?

- I think so.

- Oh.

Well, I'll pop the net over it.

Quiet, now.

MOONEY (OFFSCREEN): Wilson!

What goes on here?

- Oh, bother.

- Oh, catching yourself
some dinner, eh, Wilson?

- Nothing of the kind.

- Things must be
pretty tough when

you have to go
shopping with a net.

- I was not shopping.

- Oh, I don't blame you, Wilson.

Pigeon stew can be very tasty.

- Mooney, will you make an
effort not to be so stupid?

I was not after
pigeons for food.

- Well, if you say so, Wilson.

What's your recipe
for pigeon stew?

- Well, you boil the pigeon
with some potatoes-- oh, stop.

[chuckling]

- It's not the way
it looks, Sergeant.

Accidentally, Dennis
tied something

we want onto one of the
legs of the pigeons.

We were just trying
to get it back.

- That's right, Sgt. Mooney.

- Well, I hope that
satisfies you.

- Sure, Wilson, that explains it.

I have only one thing to ask.

- Yes?

- Invite me over when
you fix the pigeon stew.

I love it.

[laughing]

- Is pigeon stew really
good, Mr. Wilson?

- Delicious.

Now let's get back to work.

- Not that one, Mr. Wilson.

The other one's mine.

- Got him.

Got him.

There we go.

Now we'll know
what stock to buy.

And just in time, too.

The market closes
in half an hour.

Here we are.

Easy.
Easy.

Now let's get that note.

Here.
Where is it?

Here we go.

Here it is.

Oh, our fortunes are made.

Here we are at last.

Now.

Dear Dennis, how are you?

I am fine.

Your friend, Tommy.

What?

- Uh-oh.

- Uh-oh, me too.

- Dennis, you made me
catch the wrong bird.

- Gee, I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

I guess mine has more blue
and Tommy's has more gray.

- Oh, this is terrible.
- Well, where is the other one?

Where is it?
Where did he go?

Where-- there goes
thousands of dollars,

flying into the
wild blue yonder.

- Mr. Wilson?

Mr. Wilson?

- They haven't come back yet.

- Well, it looks like those
confounded pigeons will never

come back to the park.

- Well, what rotten luck.

- You scared the
living daylights out

of them with that
net, Mr. Wilson.

- Dennis, never mind.

- Well, what are we
going to do, Henry?

We've got to get it back.

- Well, it's too late to
buy the stock today anyway.

The market's closed by now.

- Probably doubled
its price already.

If we don't buy it first thing
in the morning, we'll miss out.

Mathews said it
would go up fast.

- Hey, Mr. Wilson, I know how
we can catch that pigeon.

Tonight, while he's asleep.

- Oh, Dennis, please don't
bother us with-- asleep?

- Yes, sir.

Sgt. Mooney told us where
they roost at night, out

in the old Mulligan house.

- Say, John, that's an idea.

We could sneak out after dark
and pick out the right pigeon.

- And slap this net over
him before he wakes up.

Yes, sir, we'll do it.

- Gee, that's swell, Mr. Wilson.

I'd love to see you
and Dad get rich.

- Boy, am I glad to
get this stuff off.

What a stupid night.
- What are you beefing about?

I had to push you
around all day.

What's that?

- Oh, more instructions.

It says, lowly pledges,
you are ordered

to go at once to the
old Mulligan house

and stay there until midnight.

- In that spooky old place?

- If you leave there
before midnight,

a curse will be upon you.

Signed, Big Brother.

- Aw, nuts to that.

Let's go to a movie.

What do you say?

- Yeah, what the heck?

Let somebody else stay in that
creepy old Mulligan house.

- We'll hide out in the
movie, come back after 12:00,

and say we went to
the Mulligan house.

- Boy, you're going to be a
smart fraternity brother.

- Now, do be careful in that
rickety old house, all of you.

- Yes, you could take a bad fall
in the dark out there, John.

- Now just relax.

All we have to do is
move around quietly

so we don't wake them, find
the right bird, and grab it.

- Get out of here.

Those crummy pigeons.

- You know, this
ought to be a ball.

We're going to scare the
pants off of those pledges.

- By the time those guys get
out of here, they'll be wrecks.

This is the outfit
I want to get into.

Me King Kong.
- Hey.

You know, he looks like a
gorilla even without the suit,

don't he?
- Aw, get out of here.

[footsteps]

- Hey, what was that?
Shh.

Shh.
Listen.

Listen.
Hey, that's the guys.

Come on, let's get set.

- Boy, it sure is spooky in here.

- I'll say it is.

Hey, look at this.

- Mulligan Circus.

I'll bet the old boy
was proud of that.

- Wow.

Look at that.

- Shh.

Let's keep our voices
down, shall we?

Yah!

Bongo.

The world's most
horrible gorilla.

- Why, he sure is
a beaut, isn't he?

- I'd hate to run
into him in the dark.

- Yeah, look at those fangs.

- Shh.
Listen.

- What is it?
What is it?

[birds cooing]

- It's the pigeons.

You hear them?

Sounds like they're
all over the place.

- Well, there's only
one way to handle this.

We'll divide up and we'll
search this house from attic

to basement.
- That's right, boys.

And if you find the bird
with the note on him,

don't touch him.

Don't scare him.

- Oh, no, good heavens.

Just call me, and I'll
come with the net.

There's a lot of money
riding on that bird.

- OK.

Come on, Tommy.

Let's start with the upstairs.

- Now, Henry, I-- uh, you go that
way, and I'll look back here.

Henry, what's the matter?

- Oh, nothing.

I was just thinking it is
kind of spooky in here.

It almost makes you believe
what you hear about it.

- Now, Henry, don't let your
imagination run off with you.

Remember, cherchez la pigeon.

[thunder booming]

[pigeon cooing]

[thunder rumbling]

[birds cooing]

- Well, it isn't any of them.

[terrified stammering]

- Whoa.

John?

John, John, here.
- What is it, Henry?

What is it?

- There's a skeleton.

- What?
- He's hanging.

- Oh, now, Henry, I told you
not to let your imagination

run away with you.
- Don't tell me what I saw.

Come on, I'll show you.

- Oh, now, wait--

- Boy, there sure are a
lot of pigeons in there.

But none of them's got
Mr. Wilson's note on them.

- Hey Dennis, look what I found.

A plastic skull, just like
they sell in the trick shop.

- Let me see it.

- Well, I guess they used to use
this in Mr. Mulligan's circus.

[thunder rumbling]

- But John, I could have sworn I
saw him in there, plain as day.

- Now Henry, you're just jumpy.

- But John, he was--

- Henry, Henry.

- Hey, there's some more pigeons.

- What's this?

What?
What is it?

Yah!

- How'd your work go?

The guy was panicked.

- Oh, man, you should
have heard him yelp.

It was a riot.

- Which pledge was it?

- I don't know.

You can't see much of
anything with this head on.

Hey, where's Chet?

- He went up there with
the newspaper bit.

Come on, give me a hand.

- We found a lot of pigeons.

- Yeah, but not the right one.

- Well, I'd better go
on upstairs in case

the boys missed anything.

- Me and Tommy will look
in the back of the house.

- All right.

I'll check this room here.

[thunder rumbling]

[birds cooing]

[birds cooing]

- Henry!

Help!
Help!

Help!
Help!

Help!

What?
Henry.

Henry.

Oh, am I glad to see you.

Oh, come here, look.

Look, Henry.

Right here.

[slicing sounds]

- John, come on, get
hold of yourself.

- This headless
man bit was a wow.

I couldn't see the
guy's face, but I

know it must have turned green.

- Oh, Muscles will
finish them both off

with that gorilla suit of his.

[door creaking]

- Somebody's coming.

- Yeah, who the heck can that be?

Hey.

- I told you I heard
somebody talking, Tommy.

- Now, what are you
kids doing here?

- What are you doing here?

- Yeah.

Why are you dressed
up like that?

It's not Halloween.

- Well, this is a
fraternity deal, kids.

See, we're initiating
two guys upstairs.

- My dad and Mr. Wilson?

- Who?

Your dad and-- we'd better get
this thing straightened out,

Chet.
- Right.

- I know exactly how you feel.

I-- I could have sworn
I saw a skeleton hanging

in that other room.

- Well, we'd better
not say anything

to the boys about this.
- All right.

- They'll think we're
off our rockers.

[thunder rumbling]

- Let's not waste any more time.

We've got to find that pigeon.

- I'll go on back upstairs, John.

- Uh-oh.

Uh.

- What's the matter?

- It's-- it's amazing, Henry,
how strong one's imagination can

get.

I've been looking at that
poster of the gorilla there,

and suddenly I imagined
I saw a real gorilla.

- John?

I imagine I see a real
gorilla too, right behind you.

- (TERRIFIED) Very
fascinating, Henry.

We've conjured up
such a strong picture

that I imagined I saw it move.

Well, there's one sure way to
prove that it's an illusion.

This-- this butterfly net
will go right through it.

[screaming]

- Look out!
- There's a gorilla in there.

Come on, let's get out.

- It's not a real gorilla, Dad.

Just fraternity stuff.
- What?

- We're-- we're-- sorry to
have frightened you, sir,

but we thought you were pledges.

We're initiating a
couple of guys this week,

but it just looks like
they didn't show up.

- Oh, for Pete's sake.

- You mean we've been
scaring the wrong guys?

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.

- He sure looks like
one, doesn't he?

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN): Henry!
- Jeepers, that's Mr. Wilson.

- He's in the room
across the hall.

- In here!
[thunder rumbling]

- John?
John?

Where are you, John?

- Henry, Henry, in here.

It's pulling my hair.

Get it off.

Get it off!

- It's him, Dad.
That's the one.

See the note?

- Our little
million-dollar pigeon.

- What?

We're rich.
Ha, ha!

- Alice, we're home.

We got it.

We got our pigeon.
ALICE (OFFSCREEN): Wonderful.

I'll be down in a minute.

- Well, we did it the hard
way, Henry, but we did it.

- Dad, that wasn't hard work.

That was fun.

- How much money are you
going to make, Mr. Wilson?

- Lots, lots.

Oh, and Henry,
first thing tomorrow

morning, we'll go down and
buy Consolidated Development

and Research Industries.

We'll make a fortune.

- How much do you think
it went up today?

- Well, why don't you look in
the evening paper and see?

- That's an idea.

All right.

- Henry, what's the
name of that stock

you two were going to buy?

- Um.

Uh, Consolidated Development
and Research Industries.

- Oh.

- What's the matter?

- Look at tonight's paper.

- Consolidated Development and
Research in sudden collapse.

- What?

I don't believe it.

Stockholders wiped out
in surprise bankruptcy.

Losses in millions.

Great Christopher.

- You mean if we had
bought that stock, we'd--

- We would have been
wiped out, every cent.

- Jeepers.

- Holy smoke.

- Boys, you sure saved our lives.

- We did?

- Boys, do you understand
what you've done?

- I think so, Mr. Wilson.

You mean me and Tommy
and those little pigeons

kept you and Dad from
being two big pigeons.

Right?

[chuckling]

[laughter]

[theme music]

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): This
has been a Screen Gems film

production.